Picture Prompt #39: The reflection of a kissing couple in a puddle
and
Quote Prompt #100: "His hands found her body again like no time had passed between them. They felt warm and familiar. They felt like home." — N.R. Hart
After The Downpour I Finally Breathed
~oOo~
"Olivia, wait!"
He was running, chasing after her on the streets, lost between crowds of people. She was furious, angry with him, disappointed about the distance his undercover stint put between them. It was tiring, this push and pull, this dance with no ending in sight.
Ayanna wouldn't let him contact her, he begged her countless times, tried to make her see how talking to Olivia even for a few minutes was vital to him, but again and again the only answer from her mouth was a clear no. He could have endangered the entire operation, bringing dangerous consequences to the entire thing and resulting in a disastrous ending.
The only move he was able to do was wait and that's what he did. Month after month, life moved on at a torturously slow pace. All he had was his job and the briefings with Ayanna once a month. Summer passed by with insufferable heat, illegal dealings, and punching people. Autumn was pretty much the same until it was finally time for the task force to move and make an arrest. On a cold November morning his mission ended, he boarded a plane, shed his fake identity behind, and wore the one he's always known, that of Elliot Stabler.
Happy that this mess was over and with the promise from his Sergeant of no more undercover operations, he began his way to Olivia's apartment after his flight arrived in the States.
On the way to her house, his mind was running rampant with possibilities, how he would find her, how she would welcome him, if now they could finally take the plunge and try for more, for what both of them always wanted but were too coward to confess.
Nothing could have prepared him for her reaction when he knocked on her apartment door.
Her doorman was not there at that particular moment to inform her of his arrival, so he took the stairs until he reached her floor. No sound was coming from inside when he tried to listen in. Deciding to be courageous, he knocked loudly, anxiously, waiting for her to open.
Heeled footsteps could be heard a few seconds later, the door moving, and Liv's face slowly coming into view.
Her brown eyes were pained, angry, and impossibly huge. Her upper lip curled in a frown as her cheeks grew hot from the growing anger burning in her gut. He could tell what was about to happen would not be in his favor. He left her for six months and came to her door unexpectedly; she was entitled to whatever reaction she wanted to give.
The compass was on her neck, between her breasts dangling from the chain he had handpicked for her. That fact gave him a bit of hope, one that was dwindling every time he was glancing at the harsh unforgiving lines of her face. He realizes he's in for a battle, maybe the most important one of his life.
"You gonna talk to me?" he asks, exhausted from their silent back and forth.
She scoffs, an ugly snarl coming out of her mouth. "And say what? Welcome home after six months of no contact whatsoever?"
"Don't pretend you didn't know, I said was gonna be gone for a while. I was in pretty deep," he mentions, flashing back to the conversation he gave her the compass.
"That didn't stop me from missing you or worrying about you! All I had was a necklace while what I needed was you, Elliot! Ayanna was silent, your mother and kids didn't have any information, and I was hoping you'd give a sign of life."
A stabbing pain strikes his chest, filling his heart with loss and sadness. He's always hurting her and he hates himself for it, is disgusted with the back and forth he's putting between them after his return. Olivia has trust issues, ones he partially is responsible for and his behavior so far hasn't changed anything, just made her grow more uncertain. He understands completely, but he swears this time it'll be different. He's going to try for the both of them.
"Liv, I'm sorry. Look, can I come in and we can talk?" Such talks cannot happen in her hallway whilst everyone can hear them.
"No, you can't come in. Please, leave."
Well, if she's going to be like this, she leaves him no room other than to be his stubborn self. "I'm not leaving until we talk. I'm gonna stand here all day if I have to."
Her eyebrows are raised, an incredulous expression on her face, almost like she's not believing he's opposing her. She's in for a rude awakening. He has graduated the Olivia Benson evasiveness school with honors, knows how to give her tough love.
But apparently, he didn't count on her taking extreme measures to avoid him. "You're not gonna leave? Then I'm going to."
After those words, it's all just a blur. He watches her grabbing her purse and coat from the side as she passes him by, descending the stairs in a hurry.
He's a man begging for a chance, a new beginning, so naturally, he can't do anything but follow her. He will always follow her, even if her destination is the end of the earth.
Dammit. She's actually pretty quick when she wants to avoid something, he surmises, watching her as she walks fast between crowds of people, trying to get lost among them.
Unfortunately for her, he's better and he's on her tail instantly, never missing a beat, talking to her and trying to get her to stop running once and for all.
Through all this, he feels something cold drop on his head. Great, the last thing he needs is a bird shitting on him while he's chasing his other half. He sweeps a finger onto his shiny head, realizing the liquid is actually water and breathing a sigh of relief. His head turns upwards, for the first time taking a look at the black clouds looming over them.
He laughs, ironically. This is just what they needed. It's about to storm.
~oOo~
"Olivia, wait!"
His voice is pleading, begging as she senses his footsteps following her own, a game of hunter and prey, two opposing entities by nature, running in circles. That's what she feels, it's like she's in a vicious circle with only one result: her hurting. And the reason behind it is always the same one, Elliot leaving.
Her eyes glance at the sky when crossing the street and all she sees is black. A storm is brewing, something dark and ominous like their argument.
A droplet lands on her cheek and she thinks, maybe she should've just stayed home.
Her footsteps are quick, but Elliot is quicker than her. She knows the game will come to an end at some point and she wonders, should she keep running or should she just let go and trust in them, trust he won't leave this time.
Olivia is not religious, doesn't believe in miracles or God helping her find her guidance, but for just this once she wants to leave it to a greater force, let someone else decide the course of this relationship.
Yeah, what she wants is direction from a third party.
When she turns the corner on the next block, lost between people on the busy New York streets, a hand appears out of nowhere, grasping her elbow and turning her around abruptly. Their little game of tag was up.
"Will you just talk to me?" Elliot yells in the middle of the street.
She snaps. "Oh, like you did with me all these months?"
"Olivia, it was beyond my control. I know I keep leaving and hurting you but I promise this won't happen again. I'm back now, for you, and never leaving. The compass was meant to be a promise and I intend to keep it."
The sound of water falling is becoming a more frequent occurrence, their clothes slowly getting wet. Her eyes are glassy, a part of herself breaks each time he speaks.
"How am I supposed to believe that? Tell me, Elliot, how am I supposed to have faith when you left me so many times?"
Gentle, big hands delicately grab her waist as the rain keeps getting stronger. His cerulean eyes hold unconditional love and his words betray an oath of eternal devotion.
"You are my partner, my other half."
"Yet, you chose to abandon me in the first place without a single word," she says in a heartbreaking whisper.
"And I have regretted that decision every single day." It's uttered with finality, a secret being out in the open and she can tell it's the complete truth. Elliot wears his emotions on his face—you can see every crack, every God-forsaken decision at the forefront, especially when he's the culprit that gets to receive the sad ramifications.
His lips hold a curl to them, almost like he's ready to lash out in anger or burst into guilty tears. His eyes are wide, pleading to her own soft brown to be heard. This is his cry for help and a second chance.
The compass burns between her breasts, hidden by her clothing.
The rain pounds hard on the pavement, the roads filling with water. Her clothing and hair are drenched, resembling his own disheveled appearance. It doesn't escape her how the scenery around her looks a lot like their relationship, falling apart, a little bit broken with dark clouds but having its own kind of beauty built upon the ruins. Their whole partnership is like a weather forecast with sunny days, rain coming out of nowhere and snow storms leaving them adrift.
Their eyes meet, Elliot anxiously waiting for a move, the one that will either break them or make them. She deflates, releasing a breath of agony and stepping into a building on the side to take shelter from the storm. Hesitantly, he follows her, both avoiding glancing at each other as they gaze with melancholy at the wet scenery around them.
~oOo~
Ten minutes of silence pass before the rain lessens, big fat droplets falling slowly combined with the darkness from the sky that starts to fade.
She's exhausted and heavy with sadness, she wants to go home. She needs to be the one that will cut the cord. She's asking for something, a sign but she doesn't know in what form it'll come and maybe it's okay to give up.
Quietly, she starts walking away, barely able to keep her tears in.
"So, this is it? You're just gonna walk away?" he asks with a delicate, fragile voice. Elliot was never this tame.
She realizes he's scared. She can't face him and break, so she speaks while facing a puddle on the floor. "Yes, I'm gonna walk away."
She starts sauntering, reaching the corner of the street, when she senses sharp movement. Suddenly, Elliot's hand is on her wrist while he's turning her around, his big palm curling around her waist possessively.
Their foreheads press against each other, his electric blue eyes consuming her entire soul with a single glance. He's all fire and passion, hiding a deep avalanche of love for her in his heart.
"I love you, Olivia, y'hear me? You're the love of my life and it was fucking wrong to deny that. We are meant to be together, Liv. This is not how our story ends, this is how it begins."
The entire speech is said with so much conviction and strength, each word sending a shiver to her spine, making her heart beat like a galloping horses'. For the first time since he returned, she finds herself instantly believing him and in him.
"I'm in love with you, always have been. Everything I am belongs to you Liv, body and soul. Please, please…"
As he's begging her, with his hands feeling like home around her and his lips that whisper heatedly on her skin, she watches a blinding orange light behind him. Sunlight rays. Her gaze travels to them and it's blinding, both she and Elliot are showered by their warmth.
The storm is clearing up. Her head faces upwards, looking at the clear, now-white clouds. A breath she didn't even know she was holding is expelled from her body. A heavy load is taken off her shoulders because this is a sign.
This is what she had been waiting for. His truth, his drive and commitment to never giving up. Applying that to her and fighting for her love, their love. Secretly, she also wished for the universe to give its blessing in a way. The old Olivia, the one before she met Elliot would never need that but her partner made a believer out of her—that something out there higher than them will send its message saying, "It's okay to love him, to just let go and be happy for once in your life."
So, this happening? The blue sunny skies after a heavy downpour? In her own way, it means freedom, release. It's someone up there telling her it's okay, trust in the power of your love, your bond. He won't leave you.
"Liv, I want you to be happy and I'll die trying to make that a reality."
She decides to surrender and fall to the inevitability of this love spanning decades, to give herself this joy even if in the end it ends up in heartbreak. Her life had been full of rainy storms, it's about time to enjoy some sunshine.
With a wide smile, she closes the distance between them as they kiss for the first time. His lips are soft and his tongue is fierce, exploring every single inch of her mouth. Their bodies are one entity, and if someone happened to glance at the big wet puddle in front of them, he would see the reflection of two people becoming one soul, one beautiful creation full of love, warmth, and forgiveness.
On this day, Olivia finally found her way home and with this final act, she felt her wall-clad protected heart start to get the first taste of healing.
The author of this SVU - Quills & Shutters story will be revealed in October