The Outsider Chapter 45: Touch, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Author's Note: Couldn't update on Friday because of the site being down. I've decided to update every Sunday evening due to a new busy schedule in my life. Enjoy this chapter! Sex scenes ahead, NSFW!

"Couldn't say you didn't want me there
When we were lyin' in my bed that night
You were acting like a different person
As if, suddenly, you wanted to just be friends"

- Cigarettes After Sex

asahi: hey. i told my mom and she said that it was okay. let me know when you're nearby so that i can meet you at the gates of my house.

Kenshin never looked for me last night.

After that phone call with Asahi, I continued to cry my heart out on that bed. I don't know how long I was crying for. Have I spent at least an hour crying? Two? Three? More? I couldn't even tell. All I know was, was that by the time I felt satisfied in letting everything out, I felt pretty sick and wanted to throw up. I spent maybe an hour or so going on the internet through my phone to look up things I really shouldn't have. Things like dating advice and what to do when a boyfriend tells you—Nay, threaten you—that they'll leave you after a fight. And all the while, the answers would come up completely different through each website: Just leave him first! Just talk to him. Fight with him! Ask him what he means by that. Just communicate. Just dump him!

In the end, none of the answers satisfied me.

I ended up sleeping on that bed, completely wiped out and devastated.

By the time I woke up, it was still very early in the morning. There's no way Hiko came back from whoever he was out last night with. The house is eerily dark and silent when I woke up. My bed is as cold and as empty as it has been last night after I fought with Kenshin.

He never visited me at all. My heart constricts painfully at that.

I know that, by now, Kenshin's the type to either avoid confrontation completely, or go at it pretty aggressively. With him, there's no in-between or any moderation. I don't know how I feel about that when it comes to him.

I wish he knew how to argue fairly.

I wish he was nicer to me.

I wish he could just talk to me.

I wish for a lot of things.

I check my phone. It's four in the morning, and not a single text or call from Kenshin, either. Bastard. Okay, well, no sense in fighting it anymore. I sigh. I get up and take off my clothes that I had one since last evening. I check through my bags to grab a bathrobe and quietly shuffle my way out of the guest room and into the dark hallway. I walk until I reach the bathroom and close the door behind me. Walking up to the sink, I turn on the faucet to let the water run and warm up, feeling my head pounding all the while.

I feel terrible.

I dip my hands under the running water and lift them up to my face, letting the heat of the water soothe the pain inside my head. I look up at the mirror just to see a pale face and a pair of sunken, darkened eyes.

I look terrible.

There's no way I'm going to school looking like this. Even if I had not planned to run away from Kenshin and hide out in that girl's place, I still wouldn't want to go to school like this. I need a day off, at the very least. I sigh, splashing my face with the warm water a few times more before using the toilet to do my business and washing my hands afterwards. Turning off the water, I turn off the light and quietly slip out of the bathroom and into the hallway again, nervous that I'll somehow run into him.

Thankfully, his bedroom door is locked and quiet, signifying that he is still asleep. In any other situation, I would have gone in and slept next to him. But since we're practically broken up, or at least, in my mind we are, there's no need to visit him.

Like I said.. Bastard.

I'm honestly so mad at him. I'm beyond hurt by his words and the way he seems so invested in Kaoru and her new relationship over us right now. I walk back into my guest room to lock the door behind me, put on my pajamas, before slipping back into the bed covers. I turned off my alarm clock from my phone since I'll be feigning illness when the morning sun comes up. I doubt Kenshin would even visit me, but I better put on my best act for when he does come in.

I close my eyes and catch a few winks.

"Soujiro..?"

It sounds so soft and quiet behind that heavy door, but I heard him. There's no doubt about it. I lie still on that bed, biting my lower lip and clutching the bed sheet nervously. I don't respond and opted to just stay quiet. I hear the door being knocked on gently for a few times, but I still stay quiet. I don't hear anything for a while, and then I hear him sighing on the other side of that door. I hear something metallic being swiped off of a hard surface, and then my door knob twisting as someone is unlocking it with a key.

A backup key. Of course. Why haven't I thought about that? Goddammit.

I shut my eyes the second my door is opened, and someone steps in. There is a hush of silence as the visitor stands there watching over me, my head covered by my blanket to hide myself from them. There is a set of footsteps coming near my bed, slow and careful, as if not to abruptly awake me.

"Soujiro?"

His voice is still as soft as the morning sky and it makes my cheeks blush. If only he could always be this nice to me.

There is another breadth of silence between us as I continue to play my ruse of being dead asleep. I hear a sound and then I feel a hand coming onto my body to take the blanket off of me carefully, my cheeks burning hotter as I can feel his warm breath hitting against my neck and shoulder blade.

"Soujiro.. hey," He whispers, "Are you awake..?"

I groan, pretending to be rudely awakened. I don't move an inch.

"Baby.. You gotta get up. We'll be late for school."

This is it. My chance to play the part. I moan painfully, rubbing my face against my pillow, "Ugh.. I don't.. feel so good.."

He watches me quietly for a while before he sighs, leaning closer so that he can rub his forehead against my shoulder blade now, "Baby.. come on now. I know you're not sick. You were fine just the other day.."

Seriously? Can't he just leave me alone already? He got his moment last night by telling me off, and now he wants to play the innocently concerned boyfriend? Bite me. I groan again, this time in a more impatient tone, and shuffle my body away from him so that his forehead can separate from my shoulder.

"I'm sick.." I cough a couple of times and added a sniffle in there for added insurance.

He sighs bitterly, his voice taking on a sterner tone now, "Soujiro. Come on, now. I'll help you get up so that you can go take a shower, and then I'll give you some medication. You'll be alright. Get up."

He's such a fucking asshole, I swear to God.

I know I said that I don't or can't hate him, but..

I pretend to start crying now, weeping softly into my pillow, "Kenshin, please.. I am really sick.. Just go on without me, please.."

Kenshin abruptly grabs my shoulder to whip me around, glaring into my opened eyes now, "Get. Up."

...

I take it back.

I seriously hate him now.

I whimper softly to myself, this time producing real tears as they slip over my cheeks, "Stop.. You're hurting me..!"

At that, he swiftly lets go of my shoulder as if he just burned me before watching me carefully. The last thing he wants to do is look like an abusive asshole in front of somebody if they catch him being like this towards me. I close my eyes again as I continue to cry to myself, and I can feel his eyes burning a hole through my head as he stares at me.

".. Are you really that sick?" He asks, in a tone that's both annoyed yet unsure of himself. Maybe I am acting pretty well and he's doubting himself now?

I nod, sniffling, "Mm-hmm.."

Silence.

He sighs once more, "Okay. I'll.. I'll go to school without you, then. Do you.. Do you need anything from me?"

Yes. I want you to leave me alone forever.

I shake my head, "No. I'm.. I'm sorry. I just need to rest. I'll be fine alone."

I don't dare open my eyes to look at him. A part of me is afraid that either he'll catch the lies in my eyes, or will soften my heart enough that I'll end up forgiving him for what he said last night. And I don't want to forgive him. I don't have to, anyway. Clearly Kaoru is the one he fucking wants, so he can go back to her for all I care. I'm done with everything. It's amazing that all it took was just living with him for a couple of days to make us sick of each other and breakup. And if that's the way it is, then there's no use fighting against it.

We're not the one for each other.

It is what it is.

".. Hmm," He places his hand on my cheek, observing me, ".. Well.. You do feel kind of warm.."

That's it. It must be from all of my sobbing that made me so warm like this. This is all your fault. Now you understand. My brows furrow together as I whimper pathetically, leaning into his hand, "Maybe I do have a fever.."

"Yeah.. Maybe."

My eyes flutter open finally, just to look at him somberly, "I wish.. I wish I could go to school with you today.."

At least playing up the sad boyfriend won't be too bad of an idea. He looks at me in surprise at first before softening up to one of pity, stroking my chin. He finally lets his gaze fall down, having a think. I close my eyes with a grunt, waiting for him.

".. Do you need me to call the school?" He asks.

I smirk, "No. I can do that. Thank you.."

There is another hush of silence between us. His hand feels so soft against my chin. Even though he's so sweet and kind to me right now, I'd be stupid if I just up and forgive him right now.

He doesn't deserve it.

Kenshin finally leans away from me and the mattress groans as his weight is shifted away from it, and he starts walking away from the bed. I peak with one eye open as his back is turned towards me. He takes a few steps towards the door, and as soon as I thought he would get to it to open it to leave this room.. he stops right in front of it. I open my other eye with a frown, confused. What's going on? Isn't he going to leave? Shouldn't he be itching to get away from me? Clearly I'm no longer the fun loving slut that he fell in love with, so what's the hold up?

Finally, he turns his head ever so slightly to look at me from over his shoulder, the expression on his face a very curious one: It is one of realizing that something doesn't look right, but he has no idea as to why that is. The cogs inside his brain seems to turn as he watches me with a reluctant grunt, and I look back at him in confusion also.

Come on, Soujiro. Think of something before he suspects anything! I decide to smile at him sadly, nodding at him, "I'll see you later, Kenshin.."

Hopefully me throwing that one out will disarm him. Somehow. Someway. He watches me for a while, silent and foreboding. Finally, he takes his leave, and I'm back alone in that room. I lean my head against the pillow case completely with a relieved sigh. That was too close. I'm not sure if I can trust that look on his face, though; I'll need to be very careful with my next move. I decide to stay on that bed and listening to all the sounds that occur in this house to know when it's safe for me to leave this room.

I can hear Hiko laughing and talking to Kenshin. I can hear murmurs from Kenshin, but I'm not sure what exactly he's telling his dad. I wonder if he's talking about me, like he's not sure if I'm actually sick or not. I can hear Hiko laughing again, and I have to wonder if maybe he's downplaying Kenshin's concerns about me. I frown, really trying my best to listen. I can hear pots and pans cluttering around, footsteps abounding left and right, doors opening and closing, the sound of keys jangling, and of course, the water faucets running. This must be what it always sounds like when it was just Hiko and Kenshin living together.

I don't belong here. It's clear as day that I don't fit inside Kenshin's life after all.

I wait patiently as the front door of this house opens and closes, the door locking to signify that everyone has left.

Alright. I'm all alone now. Finally. I stay in that bed for a few more moments. I don't hear anything at all anymore. It took me another several minutes until I feel safe getting up from the bed. I think I'll have a shower. I don't want to show up at my friend's place looking and feeling all dirty from the crying last night. I'd rather not look so pale and gaunt in front of Asahi, either. The girl pities me enough as it is. The hot water should perk my skin up nicely. I take off my clothes and put on the same bathrobe again from earlier this morning, and head on over to the shared bathroom down the hallway.

I take my shower and do all my usual morning routine to get ready. I head back inside my room to blow dry my hair, put on my outfit for the day, and then start packing. Thankfully I did not put too much of my stuff out from my duffel bags, so I was able to pack everything as quickly as possible. I take a look around the room to see if I'm missing anything.

I don't think I'm missing anything important. I got my two phones with me. My own laptop. My book bag and all of my school supplies. I think I'm good to go. I nod with a hum to myself, grabbing all of my stuff. I shrug my book bag over my shoulders, and grab my two large duffel bags in my hands before I head out. I don't know what I'm going to do after living with Asahi for a few days; I know for a fact that she would not want me to live at her place forever, and it's not like I want to anyway. I could maybe see if my other friends could let me bum around for a while, and then see if I can maybe live on my own in a hotel or something.

I could maybe rent a room, or perhaps an apartment. I could manage to do that, I think. However, that will definitely show up on my father's credit card reports. And he'll definitely get worried and start to blow up my phone over it.

Fuck. This is bad.

I am honestly so mad at myself for letting things get this far and so blown out of proportions, but what choice do I have? I never signed up to be born to a father who hates boys like me. I never asked to be the son of a powerful empire that he would have to take over after his father steps down from the throne. I never asked to be alive. I never asked for any of this!

What if.. What if I don't have any other choice but to return home to Father?

Maybe.. maybe there are other family members I can get into contact with that could help me?

This could mean telling them the ugly truth.. all of it.

Or maybe not?

I don't know.

All I know is, for now, I should just focus on getting out of this house and to Asahi's place in one piece. If I can at least get that done for today, I know I'll be okay.

I walk down the stairs. All seems to be clear. The lights are off and everything is quiet. I gulp, my eyes narrowing. It's almost.. too quiet. I reach down the staircase and I am in the living room where the kitchen is up ahead. Now all I have to do is turn to the side and go down the small hallway so that I can get to the front door. You know, for a lower middle class family, this house isn't too bad. I could understand Kenshin's reluctance back then in inviting me over, because this is definitely not something I am used to when all my life I was living in fancy mansions, yachts, and penthouses.

It sounds terrible, but I miss living like that.

Who am I kidding? I am a weak person. I can't survive like this. I can't survive without my father. I'm nothing without him. I know that maybe being a CEO to a boring company is something that I probably don't ever want to do deep down, but it will at least give me the lifestyle that I am attracted to. Even if Kenshin doesn't want me anymore, I can just have a secret male lover who can understand where I am coming from. If I can have the job, the money, the luxury, and the sex I want to have on the down low, I know I'll always be okay.

It always was my plan to do just that, anyway.

Too bad I met an idiot who doesn't get it.

Oh well. It's over between us.

So who cares.

Right?

I turn to the side to face towards the door, and immediately my mouth goes dry. My lips part and all I hear is a shocked grunt, my hands trembling on my sides as I grip the handles of my duffel bags. Just up ahead from where I'm facing, leaning against the door that would have been my ticket to freedom, is none other than Kenshin Himura himself. He has his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at me. I feel my heart dropping into my stomach at the iciness of his bluish-lavender eyes burning a hole through my own eyes.

Those eyes that have haunted my dreams ever since I first saw his pictures online.

He leans away from the door and starts walking towards me, his eyes not leaving my face until he's just about standing right in front of me when he lets them swoop down to look at the bags in my hands. He scoffs, his face pinched into one of not just rage at what he discovers, but of pain as well. My heart swells at that expression on his face.

At that moment, I realize I just hurt the one I love more than anything in the world.

"You're.. leaving me?" He sounds and looks so hurt just saying that, even if he tries to hide it under a veil of anger. My eyes catch on the sight of his hands now forming into fists, prompting me to take a step back cautiously.

"K.. Kenshin," My voice is so thin and quiet now, "I wasn't.. I'm not leaving you, I.."

"Bullshit," His voice is hoarse with anguish, but he quickly covers it up with a grunt as his eyes flip back up to glare at me again, "Drop those bags. Now."

My arms are now quivering with anxiety, not liking where this is going. He's not going to hurt me, is he? He would never do such a thing. He has come close a couple of times since we've first known each other, but never in a million years would I ever expect him to actually hurt me for real. He always stops immediately as soon as I scream or yell at him to stop, or whenever he could see the tears in my eyes. It was how I knew I could always trust him to ensure my comfort and safety.

But that look inside his eyes.. That look of agony and betrayal.. I let the duffel bags hit the floor just by releasing them, and he takes another step towards me in warning.

"Take off your book bag."

"But Kensh—"

"Now!"

I flinch with a whimper, my eyes shutting. I do as he says, gingerly taking my book bag off from my back and letting it retreat to the floor with a thud. At that hot second of being without my bags, I cry out as he takes the back of my neck in his hand, trying to shove him with my hands now. But despite that, he merely tightens his hold on my neck and uses his other hand to grab one of my arms to take control of my body, getting his face near mines.

"Start walking up the stairs." He mutters under his breath, his tone leaving my blood cold.

"Kenshin, wait—" I am interrupted as he moves me and I start walking automatically through his sheer physical force towards the staircase again, "Please, I—!"

"—Just move."

His voice is now so flat and unemotional that it leaves me silent with fear. I comply and I start walking up the stairs, his hands still both on my neck and arm. I nearly stumble on the stairs as we reach the top, but he ignores that, tightening his hold on the back of my neck harder as he prompts me to keep walking forward. I thought he would push me towards the guest room, but he instead takes me to his bedroom now, slamming the door behind him shut. He shoves me onto the bed and I exhale in surprise as soon as my face meets his pillow.

I hear the sound of the door locking shut, and I recoil until my back meets the wall behind me. He walks determinedly towards me, his fists hanging on his sides and his eyes glowing with righteous anger now.

"Please, don't..!" I cry out, hiding my face with my arms.

He gets on the bed and takes my arms to reveal my face to him again. In a swift movement, the back of my head hits on that same pillow again and he shoves his tongue into my mouth, his entire body on top of mines now so that I am unable to escape. His hands are grabbing both my wrists and pinning them down against the mattress as he goes on a town on my mouth. I writhe and moan in sheer annoyance at his strange desire of wanting to kiss me after finding out I was trying to leave him.

What is he playing at now? Why is he kissing me? Shouldn't he be yelling at me instead?

He breaks the kiss, panting and looking at me. His eyes still carries that hint of pain inside of them, unable to grapple with the fact that I really do have what it takes to leave him after all. I suppose he thought I would never leave him after all he's done for me. And in a weird way, I used to think that, too. But after what he said to me last night, I realize, it was either him or I who can end this relationship first, and I wasn't going to let him beat me to the punch.

I refuse to be the loser in this situation.

For fuck's sake, I was the one who never wanted to be in this relationship in the first place because of my dad!

And now he wants to break my heart because of Kaoru?

Who the fuck does he think he is?!

"Soujiro.." He finally whispers, his breath hot and moist against my lips that he practically battered with his own lips just a moment ago, "Were you really trying to leave me?"

I should hate him. I should hate him with everything I've got! He ruined me! He ruined my life! He ruined my future that I was completely set for after all this time! I never should have tracked him down after finding his stupid pictures on his social media! I never should have gone after him when I saw him at school! I should have taken him seriously when he told me to leave him alone. I never should have agreed to be his boyfriend!

I fucking.. shouldn't have..!

I start to cry, my heart beating rapidly against my chest, ".. I just.. need time away from y—!"

He cuts me off with kissing me again, and as much as I hate to admit this, my body burns alight with desire as I moan against his lips. His grip on my wrists tightens and loosens up in intervals as his tongue wrestles against mines. My hips buckle upwards mindlessly, and he pins his own down against it as a response, eager to keep his dominance over me.

He breaks away from the kiss again, shaking his head, "You need time away from this?"

Before I can properly respond or have time to react, he starts grinding against me, creating a pleasurable feeling in my groin. I exhale shakily, my face burning up in embarrassment and desire, "S.. Stop it..!"

"Stop what?"

"This! All of this!"

He thankfully stops, leaning in to start kissing my face, "Oh, Soujiro. I think I get why you're doing this. It's about last night, isn't it?"

I grunt, my blush deepening.

Never the less, he merely leans closer near my ear to whisper hotly into it, "You'd be the moron of the century if you did that, though, wouldn't you?"

I freeze, gaping at the ceiling above me.

I hear him chuckling, tilting back so that I can see his face again to see his expression is one of pure irony, "Soujiro. Where is that USB stick? The one I told you to put inside your father's laptop?"

...

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no..!

I stare at him in horror, and he smiles at me in a shade of near insanity. I knew.. I knew I forgot something important, but I didn't think it was anything that life ruining! Kenshin had that fucking thing since we were staying at that hotel room all this time?! I grit my teeth and use all of my force to sit upwards, but Kenshin moves quicker and merely pins his forehead against mines to hold me down again, staring right into my eyes all the while.

"I can.. ruin your entire life with that thing," He smiles again, though his eyes doesn't seem to match with it so it looks more disconcerting than what's considered socially acceptable right now, "I hid it from you as soon as I got my hands on it. You had no idea, didn't you? For an honors student, you sure are fucking stupid."

I start to sob again, "Kenshin.. Please.. I'm so sorry.. I won't leave.. Please, just.. let me go..!"

He hums and starts to kiss my face again, shaking his head, "No. I think you'll have to spend the rest of today making it up to me. And you'll do it in a way I know you do best.."

Who is this monster? Where is the sweet boy I fell in love with?

"What are you.. going to do to me..?"

Please.

Please don't be like all the rest.

"Mmm," He groans as he starts to suckle on the side of my neck, prompting me to gasp in surprise at that, "Why don't you take a guess?"

Please don't be like all the people who has hurt me before.

"Kenshin.. I want you to stop," I whimper, my eyes welling up with tears, "This isn't like you.. You're not this kind of person.. I.."

He leans back away, glaring at me, "You're right. I'm not like your fucked up exes or any of your fuck buddies from back then. Unlike them, I am in love with you. Crazy over you. Obsessed over you. I'll do anything for you.."

Okay. So it's worse than I thought. Kenshin has a sick addiction over me. This is bad. I grunt, looking at him helplessly.

He descends his face lower again, until he starts kissing me, and I hate to admit this, but it feels too good to fight back anymore. I moan weakly into his mouth, my hips swerving upwards against his and I mumble, "God.. please.. fuck.."

"Fuck you? My pleasure."

He starts trailing his kisses down from my lower lip, to my chin, and down my throat, his hand traveling from my wrist to under my shirt to start stroking my nipple. Sparks of electricity flies from that simple touch alone and I sigh in pleasure. He is kissing and tonguing my chest now, still stroking my sensitive nipple in between his thumb and index finger, and I keep thrusting my hip upwards to keep the pleasure inside of me rising higher and higher.

Maybe I'm happy that he's addicted to me.

"I'm going to make you cum all day long," Kenshin sighs against my other nipple now as soon as he discards my top on the side towards his bedroom floor, "Multiple times. Non stop. Constantly."

"Hugh..!" I exhale with a groan as I feel his tongue and teeth grazing over my nipple, "Mmm!"

He stops licking my nipple just to whisper the following: "I hope you're ready."

I don't get it, though. Why? Why would he want to do this with me after being caught trying to leave him?

"Why.. do you even want to have sex with me after what I've just done?"

I can hear him smirk before dragging his tongue against that same nipple again, eliciting a helpless moan from me.

"If I can show you what you'll be missing, maybe I can stop you from leaving me again."

"Kenshin.."

"Yes, baby?"

"I love you. I'm sorry.." My voice trails off and my shoulders start to quiver from me wanting to cry again.

He lifts his face up to start kissing me chastely on the lips and my cheek lovingly, "I love you too. I am never going to let you go. I told you a long time ago that I'll hunt you down to the ends of the Earth if you ever do try to leave me, remember?"

How could I forget. It was at that balcony when we stayed at a hotel not too long ago. We were waiting for the fire works for New Year's Eve, and he confessed that he would do whatever it takes to find me if I ever go missing, or if I ever try to run from him. It was the most passionate I've ever seen him before, and it made me fall all the more in love with him. For just a moment, I went from being the outsider, to someone who was deeply desired by someone else for a change.

It was almost romantic.

".. I remember that.."

"You do realize that no one compares to you, right?"

I sob a little too loudly at that, as if hearing it was exactly what my heart and soul needed to hear after all this time.

"Soujiro?" He sounds genuinely confused now, stroking my cheek, "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," I nod, tears streaming down my face, ".. I really thought that.. You and Kaoru—"

"—Kaoru and I are nothing compared to what you and I have together. It's you who means the most to me. It's you I want the most. It will always be you. I'll prove that to you for this entire day no matter how tired we both get. It's worth it if it means you'll never feel insecure about her ever again."

I soften inwardly, gazing into his eyes. I can tell he means it just by the way he looks at me. I guess I have been very insecure these past few weeks; I've been behaving childishly and horribly, and I've hurt the one person who loves me more than anyone else in my entire life has. I can't believe I was going to go through with leaving him today. Who does that?

How could I make it out there all alone without Kenshin?

I do have friends, sure, but they're nothing compared to Kenshin. I have my father, but I would never want to live with him again after realizing what he's capable of. And maybe I could live all alone, but.. I would always miss the red head boy who makes me so deeply happy and so very loved, so what would be the point of that?

Soon we are both naked and he has me levitate my hips as high as I can go, as if I was about to perform a bridge exercise. I hold it up as he lies on his back and underneath my buttocks, propping his upper body by leaning on one of his elbows and using his other hand to stroke my cock. He starts eating my ass out as I breathe deeply and raggedly, my skin on my face and chest feeling hotter by the minute.

"Ha, Kenshin..!" I groan lustfully, panting and reveling the feeling of his delectable tongue pushing into my hole, "Yes..!"

He moans, continuing to eat me out for a few more minutes before he slides away from his position to come up and start licking the side of my cock instead, whispering, "Hold this position."

I moan delightfully as he sucks and deep throats me, my thighs quivering from both excitement and the threat of collapsing from not able to hold this bridge position for long. I'm a little worried if Kenshin means it when he said he's going to make me cum repeatedly for the entire day. But maybe I need to go through with that, to be honest. Maybe I need to see how far he is willing to go for me. Maybe then I'll feel more secure in our relationship.

Selfish? Maybe.

So sue me.

He goes back to eating my hole out and stroking my now wet cock again, prompting me to arch my back and neck in bliss. He keeps switching up like this, again and again, until I finally couldn't take it anymore and whimper, "Kenshin.. please, let me cum.. in your mouth..!"

"Alright." He smirks, placing his hand on my torso to push me down towards the mattress so that I am lying flat on my back. He props himself up on his elbows in between my legs to start sucking me off like normal. I grab him by the hair and feel myself racing towards the finishing line with the way I am panting and thrusting my hips into his lips. And before I knew it, I start convulsing as I cum into his mouth hotly, my breathing hitching and reaching incredibly and embarrassingly high notes from the way the orgasm rips through my body.

"Oh, God!" I finally gasp, grabbing his hair with my other hand as I continue to convulse and cum into his mouth, "Fuck!"

He swallows all of my cum contently, massaging my hips with his hands lovingly as he takes in the very last drop out of me. To think I spent all of my life sleeping with guys who hardly even done that for me before is crazy; I thought I wouldn't have liked it either, until I met Kenshin. For a guy who hasn't had the same experiences as I have, he's really good at what he does in bed. I love fast learners. I love Kenshin. Fuck, I love all of this!

With my eyes fluttered close, I smile and whisper, "That was so good.."

"Oh yeah?" I hear him breathe as he slides his arm under my lower back to have me sit up and sit over his lap, spreading my legs open, much to my surprise.

"H-huh?" I grunt confusingly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to hold steady, "Kenshin?"

He ignores me and, wetting his fingers with his mouth, merely sticks them inside of my hole to start finger fucking me. I swear I could see stars before my very eyes as I flinch and groan feebly, my breath stuck in my throat as I can feel his finger thrusting in deeper and deeper to find that sensitive spot in me. As he finds it and hits it, my body startles with a quiver, yet I still can't find my breath to make any sounds that tries to escape from underneath my throat.

Instead, the back of my head drops so that I am staring dazedly at the ceilings above me, my mouth hanging open in a state of pure nirvana. Kenshin keeps finger fucking me rapidly and keeps hitting that same spot over and over again, merely watching my lower body all the while. I still can't find my voice or my breath, and the ceiling above me looks so unreal right now. My body keeps flinching from the shocks of pleasure it receives from Kenshin thrusting his fingers into me, and I swear I am in heaven right now.

I love sleeping with him.

My head rolls slowly so that I can face him, my face surely looking completely stupid yet glowing in pure bliss. Kenshin looks at me and beams at me happily, as if proud of himself for making me gape at him like a fucking idiot. He looks back down at his hand as he continues to finger fuck me with abandon, his smile still on his face. I finally gathered the strength inside of me to make a sound, which catches his attention on me again. He looks back at me with a softened expression, closing his eyes to lean in and start kissing me on the lips.

Is Kenshin actually serious when he said that he's going to spend the entire day making me cum?

I don't know if I'm up for that.

"Huh.." I suddenly exhale in his mouth, breaking away from the kiss and feeling a certain rising of heat and pleasure inside my body as his fingers keep hitting that sensitive spot repeatedly. I gaze at the space in front of me, out towards the rest of his bedroom. This is where Kenshin basically grew up in. This is where Kenshin first became a man. This is where Kenshin reads his books, plays his guitar, draws his little sketches, and probably where he masturbates in when he's home all alone. I'd hate to find out if he ever invited any girls here to have sex with him, but knowing him, he probably has.

Not that it matters anymore, though..

Because now, every time he steps inside this room, he'll always have this memory playing inside his head. The memory of me having orgasm after orgasm after hard hitting orgasm..

I wonder if he'll touch himself to those memories of me now.

God, I'm going to..!

"Huh, ahh..!" I shut my eyes and feel myself convulsing again before crying out in pleasure as I go through another round of an orgasm, my cock spilling my hot seed out and all over both of our bodies in its liquid, "Ugh!"

Kenshin slows down his fingering as I writhe and shiver over his body from my post-orgasm state, eyeing me in wonder and awe as I am trying to catch my breath. There is a sheet of perspiration covering over my hair, face and body now, and the flesh on my chest looks bright pink now. God, I feel so good. I am panting and trying to come down from the high, and Kenshin leans in to kiss my temple lovingly, groaning in happiness that he got me to the finish line once again.

"God, let me fuck you.." He moans as he kisses my cheek under my temple now, taking his fingers out of my ass gently.

I groan and shake my head, "N-no.. I.. I can't cum again.. It'll probably hurt me.. I can't do it anymore.. Kenshin.."

"Hmm," He nods, kissing my jawline this time, "You're right. I think it'll be a bit much for now.."

"Cum on my face," I sigh, taking his chin to have him face me so that we can kiss each other deeply, ".. Or in my mouth.."

"Fuck.." He groans, biting my lower lip to drag it downward, earning me a moan in return. At that moment, there is a vibrating noise coming from one of our jeans, and we stop kissing each other. We look at one another. Is it his phone? Or mine? Who could be trying to contact us right now? And at the most inconvenient timing, too. God, this is so embarrassing. Kenshin looks from over his shoulder at our jeans that are now sprawled over his floors, and my eyes follow too.

"Should I..?" I rub my chin absentmindedly on his shoulder blade.

He sighs, "I'll look."

I get off of his lap and he gets up from the bed, looking through his jeans first. He switches on his phone, and there doesn't seem to be any new text messages for him, because he immediately switches it off and goes to look for my phone. He turns on the screen of my phone and sees something, and he takes a pause to read it. He stands there with his back turned towards me, just staring at that phone.

"Kenshin?" I whisper, sitting Indian style right now to gander at his back with worry.

He is quiet for a moment before turning towards me to show me my phone, where there's a new text message from Asahi: hello? soujiro, are you still coming? i thought you'd be awake by now and answer my other message. are we still on for later today?

Uh oh.

"Who is this?" He really does not happy when he asked me that.

I gulp. Man, I am the king of impulsiveness, aren't I? I chuckle nervously, realizing that I can't run away anymore, and shrug, "That's.. That's the friend that I was going to stay with. Asahi."

He cocks an eyebrow at me, clearly not amused in the least bit despite my feeble attempt to lighten the mood with my reluctant smile, "I've never heard of this Asahi person before, though."

"That's because.. That's the girl my dad chose to marry me off to." I might as well tell him the truth now, even if it hurts.

I can see Kenshin biting the inside of his cheek, inhaling sharply to himself quietly. He probably would love nothing more than to smash my phone against the wall right now, but he knows better. He knows I would probably dump him for that, judging by the way he takes a moment to collect himself before nodding, "Are you going to text her back?"

"Do you want me to?"

"What do you think?"

I look at his naked lower body, pondering. I suppose there's just nothing to do but to accept the situation for right now. I'm not going to go stay with Asahi, and I'm sure she'll understand. But I bet she really hates Kenshin right now, and probably still thinks we are not going to make it as a couple. I don't like it when people think poorly of my choices or my ties with other people; if there's one thing I am most sensitive of, it's how my intelligence comes across to other people. I never want anyone to doubt my mental abilities to make any good decisions or what I decide to do with my life.

"I'll text her now," I outstretch my hand towards him, "Give me it."

He does so, eyeing my carefully. I frown at him, as if silently asking him what's up with him. He ignores that look in my eyes and stands there with his hands on his hips, sighing and looking off someplace else while I go on to text Asahi back. Okay. That was weird.

Hey girlie. I've sort of changed my mind at the last moment and decided to stay. I really hope I didn't cause too much trouble between you and your mom.

i see. no worries. i do have to ask, though, are you sure everything's okay?

What do you mean? :(

nothing, it's just, when people pull this, it's usually because their partner threatened them and i just needed to know that you're okay and safe where you are.

Gosh. I didn't know Asahi have been through that, or knows people who have been through that. The fact that she used the word "threatened" felt like a punch to my stomach, though. Did Kenshin really threatened me today? Even I'm not so sure. He did mentioned the USB stick, but I don't think he's actually serious about that. I mean.. unless.. he actually is? I look at Kenshin, who is still evading my eyes.

Regardless, though.. I should lie to Asahi. The last thing I need is for the police to come looking for me.

Oh, I wasn't threatened, Asahi! God, I hope I didn't made you worried. I promise that I am okay. :D I really appreciate you caring, though. :3

At that moment, Kenshin stops right in front of me and takes the base of his cock to starts masturbating in front of my face. My shocked face, at that. I stared at him wide-eyed, silently asking him one more time what the fuck is up with him. He looks on at me, completely deadpan, and continues to stroke himself in front of me. Is he insane? Like really, is he off his fucking rockers right now? In the middle of texting a friend?!

"Do you mind?" I silently mouth at him.

He only smirks in return. Bastard. My phone vibrates and I let my eyes look at the screen to read the text.

sure. well, let me know if you wanna talk or if you need a friend. i know sometimes i can be harsh at times, but i've lived in the real world and it's not nice to people like us, so it's good to have each other in our corners, you know?

My eyes slowly goes back up to Kenshin's face, an emotion bubbling up inside of my chest that is hard to describe. He really shouldn't have whipped his cock out like this towards me, knowing how addicted I am to his taste. I lean in and start to lick the bottom of the head of his cock, my stomach dropping at the delectable sound of him groaning.

God.

...

Okay, so maybe this is a bit fucked up of me to do, but..

What can I say.

I can't say no to cock when it's right in front of my face.

Despite that, though, I continue to suckle on his cock as he keeps stroking himself, expertly using my thumb to text Asahi back with this: Absolutely. Asahi, you have got to be the only person who gets me right now, at least when it comes to being gay. I am so happy to have met you.

Maybe Kenshin is doing this as a way to remind me that Asahi could never give me what he himself could give me. Asahi is a lesbian, and therefore, she could never please me the way Kenshin can. And I'm gay, so of course I am not interested in sleeping with her, either. As much as she can understand my struggles, it's not like I could find real joy with her even if I am forced to marry her. It's only Kenshin who can grant me deep satisfaction in a way that no woman could ever do.

My phone vibrates again, my eyes flickering back at the screen to read it: of course. if you're ever scared of where you are, though, do not hesitate to contact me again. i mean it. you deserve to be with someone who only has eyes for you and makes you feel safe above all else.

Aw.

You're so sweet, Asahi.

It's too bad I'm getting fucked by Kenshin again.

Kenshin stares directly into my eyes and cusses under his breath in pleasure as he strokes his cock faster in front of my face, and maybe, just maybe, I do feel safe with him above all else right now. He's the only one who makes me feel these things. I groan as I suck on the head of his cock nice and hard, my eyes intently staring into his.

I ended the conversation with the following: Thank you, Asahi. Take care, and talk soon.

"Fuck..!" He moans and finally cums all over my face and into my mouth, all while I right in the middle of texting that last couple of words to Asahi. I hold my pose with my phone away from us and still having my mouth open so that he can finish dumping his cum over my tongue and stroking his waist with my other hand.

"Mmm," I moan, licking my bottom lip, "You're a sick fuck, you know that?"

Kenshin chuckles quietly, taking my phone out of my hand to place it on his nightstand before standing over me again, "Let's get you washed up. You must be hungry."

That's right. I hadn't had breakfast yet because I was planning to grab something to eat from outside after I walk out of this place. But nothing beats having breakfast with the handsome redhead who's towering over me, smiling at me like an angel whose wings are made of fire and a halo made of barbed wire. At that, I nod with a happy hum, letting him take my hand to get me off of his bed.

So much for running away.

It's around a couple of hours later. We washed up in the bathroom before heading downstairs to the kitchen. Kenshin made us both breakfast since he skipped out on it earlier today, too. He was way too nervous about me to even have tea or coffee earlier this morning, and even told me this to my face when he sets my plate of food down in front of me. I couldn't help but blush and look down at my plate, not knowing what to say to that.

Never the less, he didn't push and he was so nice to me for the rest of the morning after.

After we ate, we waited for food to settle down in our stomachs by watching a couple of episodes of a random television show on his streaming device. Despite what I tried to pull today, Kenshin is as eerily doting as a boyfriend who's completely unaware of what his partner has been up this morning; he keeps rubbing my shoulders and snuggling up to me lovingly, kissing my cheek and my eyelid like I am the most previous thing in the world to him.

I knew we had to eventually talk about what happened today, but it's almost like he wants to avoid that topic altogether. He would rather just treat me super nicely today and would ask me if I needed anything. And I would always turn him down gently, smiling at him but still feeling a little nervous at the same time.

And, well..

I understood why after an episode on the television screen ended and the next one starts counting down in front of us.

"This is so sick..!" I gasp, grasping my ankles over the sides of my head as Kenshin plummets into me on his bed. He grunts as he thrusts harder into me, now grabbing my ankles with his own hands to keep my spread wide open for him. I exhale and feel my eyes rolling back as the sound of flesh clapping against flesh is heard everywhere, "Ken.. shin..!"

"Ugh!" He groans, drilling into my hole feverishly, "God, this hole is so fucking good!"

"Yeah?" I pant, my face flushed from all this heat, "Are you going to show that little hole a lesson?"

He takes one of his hands back to smack my ass cheek from where he's towering over, "I'll teach you a lesson."

I grit my teeth from that sting of his hand, but never the less, I moan helplessly as he continues to fuck me. Maybe that was him just being horny, but if I hadn't known any better, I'd say he was just saying that just to make me hornier. But I can hear it. That very, very subtle tone of hurt in his voice when he said that. He probably thought he could cover it up with that cheeky action he did to my ass just now, but I know him.

He's still stunned that I almost left him today.

And knowing he's hurt over that, hurts my heart in return.

What was I thinking? Did I honestly believed that he would pick Kaoru over me? After everything he's done for me? Am I really that deluded? I guess I do need help getting over myself. It's not Kaoru's fault that she didn't know that I love him. It's not her fault that she's a straight girl, either. My envy and jealousy towards her does nothing except hurt me and everyone around me.

"Are you gonna cum, baby?" Kenshin groans as he leans in to slide his tongue into my mouth.

I nod, sighing, "God, yeah.. Almost there..!"

I was wrong.

I was wrong to think Kenshin could ever pick anyone else over me.

I should have known it the way he looked at me ever since the first day he laid eyes on me. Even if I know now that he would deny it, I still saw the way he looked at me on that fateful day when I was first walked into homeroom to introduce myself. I know how a man looks at someone when they want them, and he had that same look in his eyes when I was at the front of that classroom; the way his eyes gazed at me, and the way I subtly made sure to look back at him every so often as I talked about myself to the rest of the class.. how I would make sure to flitter my eyes into his, and how he would stare at me and hold my gaze.

There was no denying the attraction right from the start.

It was how I knew I had to have him. No matter what it takes.

I had all the confidence in the world when I perused him, despite his initial reluctance.

But all of that changed when he asked Kaoru out. And I guess, that's when my confidence in myself waned severely. I never had to fight for anyone's affection before; without sounding like an absolute asshole, I know how easy on the eyes I am. I know how to make guys feel all worked up with just a simple touch or look from me alone. I've had sex with numerous men before Kenshin, and I know how to make men hard without a lot of hard work on my part. Kenshin has to be the first one who did tried to fight me off which, I'll admit, did caught me off guard at first.

But when I finally caught him in my trap.. it was almost too easy to get him addicted to the way I tasted.

"Fuck, I'm cumming..!" Kenshin starts driving into his hips into me forcefully and wildly, grasping my thighs as he finally cums into me with a masculine groan that made me shiver.

"God!" I cry out in bliss as I finally also cum, grabbing Kenshin's hips on the sides as the orgasm rips through my body. Kenshin continues to keep slowly thrusting himself in and out of me despite already cumming inside of me, staring at my face in a dazed state. My fingers dig into the skin of his hip bones with a shivering groan, "Kenshin.. stop.. you've came already.."

He shakes his head with a grunt, still thrusting into me. Cum oozes out of my hole and spilling over my inner thighs, ass cheeks, and now onto his bed sheets. I hope he doesn't mind that, but this is just messy. Does he and his stepdad even have a washing machine and a dryer somewhere to wash these sheets? Ugh. I look at him now with confusion, my breathing picking up the pace as he continues to hump inside of me, "Kenshin..?"

"More.." He exhales, his thrusting picking up speed again, "You have to cum more.."

My eyes widen at this animal in front of me. What is with him? I already came like three or four times today, and within the last couple of hours at that! I understand that he told me that he was going to spend the rest of today making me feel good because of what happened, but this is too much even for me. My hands are now on his shoulder blades, making him look at me, "Kenshin! Stop! This is too much. I need to take a break!"

His thrusting slows down to a halt after several seconds, staring down at me with an expression on his face that I've never seen before. He looks almost disappointed in himself, like he has failed me or something. He blinks softly, looking over my stomach, which is now drenched in my own semen before he mutters, "I'm.. I'm sorry. I just.. wanted to keep going. I want to make you feel so good.. I don't ever want to see you leave me again, Soujiro.."

Oh, Kenshin.

I sit up correctly so that I can embrace him fully, kissing his cheek lovingly, "Kenshin.. Don't. You don't have to keep doing this. I already got the message. I am not going to leave you. I don't want to leave anymore. I just.. I just thought that you wanted to break up with me, and I figured staying elsewhere would be for the best for now."

He gulps, grunting, "Why would I ever agree to something so stupid? Of course I want you to stay! I would never break up with you.."

"But you told me—"

"—I got mad, alright!?" His voice is loud and I flinch, prompting him to sigh and rest his forehead against my collarbone now, "I. Fuck. God.. dammit.. I'm.. I'm sorry.. Please.."

"Kenshin.." My voice sounds so soft and quiet now, at a loss for words.

It's quiet now. Nothing is heard except for the distant cries of birds that are residing outside of his window. Kenshin's a real rageaholic, that's for sure. But for some reason, I am slowly finding it to be one of my most favorite things about him. It's his anger that made sure I am now safe and sound away from my father. It's his rage that had him beat the shit out of Shishio for trying to bully me. It's the way he gets mad so easily that it inspires me to find my own voice at times.

"You inspire me, Kenshin.." I find myself whispering to nobody in particular, stroking my fingers into his hair.

I think he heard me, though. He moves his forehead away from my collarbone and lingers his lips over my cheek, gazing at my face.

I turn to look at his eyes now, and we hold each other's eyes for what felt like a long time. I wonder how often people tell him that he inspires them. I mean, it's no news now that Kenshin has held the reputation of being a punk to everyone around him. He breaks the rules, he disregards the laws, and he doesn't care who would take issue to his rebellious antics. He did badly at school before I met him. He was involved with the police years before I came into his life. He does whatever he wants, at the expense of his stepfather at times. I highly doubt anyone would say in full confidence that he's anybody's source of inspiration. Who would inspired to become a thug with no real future ahead of him?

And yet, I just told him that he inspires me.

Because it's true.

"Soujiro.." He sighs before kissing my cheek, "I love you. I'm sorry I'm such a shitty boyfriend."

I exhale, trying to ignore the sudden heat inside my eyes, "Kenshin.. I'm the one who should be saying that, not you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.." He finds my lips with his own, kissing me. I simply melt into that kiss blissfully, hugging him tighter as he does the same with me in return.

Suddenly, there is a knock downstairs from the front door. We stop kissing and pull apart, blinking at each other.

"Is that.. Hiko?" I look at Kenshin's bedroom door, hearing the knocks from all the way downstairs. These walls are so paper thin, I am able to hear anything and everything that goes on in this place.

"It can't be," Kenshin blinks at his door now as well, "He's at work. Unless he has to run back home for something.."

More knocking. Who could it possibly be?

"Well, I didn't invited anyone here." I frown at the door now.

"Neither did I." His eyes tighten suspiciously at the door.

The knocks continue. It sounds urgent. We get off from each other and quickly clean up after ourselves with wipes before dressing ourselves, hurrying down the stairs to head towards the front door. Kenshin decides to go get the door while I stand about a feet behind him, just in case. He opens the door, and I swear I could feel my kneecaps already wobbling in fear.

Right there, standing in front of Kenshin, is none other than Officer Shozo of the Kyoto Police Department.

(To be continued.)