Chapter 58 – Laid To Rest
August 12, 1660
"What are you doing?"
The question was so innocent and innocuous that it made my already numb brain freeze and restart itself. What had I been doing? Oh, yeah, I'd been singing but exactly what I couldn't remember, nor could I remember how long I'd been playing it though twilight had long given itself to a star-filled sky. It's what Megara had wanted, her dying wish to hear me sing, which I had obliged as she had died in my arms. After carrying her in my arms aboard ship to wrap her body for burial, the girls had pulled twins from her belly but neither had survived the brutal beating Hercules had instilled on his wife before beating it south in his new pinnace, the Plundered Whore, leaving his wife to die.
"Singing," I said as I straightened and stretched the muscles in my back as Melody stood not too far away, a cutlass in her hands that she seemed to be studying. "She loved to hear me sing."
"I get that," Melody snarked as she rolled her eyes. "But, it'll be dawn soon according to the soldiers. You've been singing all night long. Don't you need to sleep?"
"It's…" I began to say, then sighed. "It's complicated."
"Can you explain it?" she asked and I hung my head for a moment, contemplating whether or not I should go clean up for the funeral soon or start seeing if Megara's burial plot had been dug.
"Sure," I finally said as I decided to just wait as I pulled the guitar tight against my now dry clothes. "But I'll do it...in a song."
Melody gave a chuckle as she took a seat to listen and watch as I struck the three chord opening up, then back down twice to set the more ominous, if lighthearted tone of the song. Melody's smile prompted me to keep going as I started the 'A' chord of 'Sitting up with the Dead' by Ray Stevens, the song covering the supposed death of a family member in his youth and how it was handled at the time. As it fit my current situation, I had no problem singing it for Melody as dawn began pinking the eastern sky.
"Well out in the country, we didn't have mortuaries
And so it was always customary
For the undertaker to do his job
And lay your kin out right there at home
Well the church would loan you folding chairs
And you'd have visitation and everything right there
But when the nighttime come you had to sit up with the dead
'cause it wasn't right to leave 'em alone
Well, the last time I sat up was thirty-five
When my old arthritic Uncle Fred died
He was ninety-seven and so stooped over the morticians couldn't straighten him out
They used a big ol' chain to hold him down
And covered that all up with a cape and a gown
And didn't tell nobody in the family
'cause that's the kind of stuff folks just don't want to know about
Well we were all sittin' there; it was way in the mornin'
And then there come up a cloud, a-thunder lightnin' and stormin'
Well, that lightnin' flashed and that thunder clapped
And that chain 'round old Uncle Fred went 'snap'
And rattled and fell to the floor with a thump
And Uncle Fred just sat right up!
And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more
I don't know 'bout you
No, I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more
No matter what ya say or do
They say the dead can't hurt ya 'cause they already left
But what they left can sure make ya hurt yourself
And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more
Since the dead started sittin' up too
Well when Uncle Fred sat up, so did everyone there
And there came a great partin' of the foldin' chairs
And that preacher nearly knocked me down as he said
"Oh, I'm headin' out that kitchen door!"
I said "Rev, that kitchen ain't got no door in it!"
He said "Don't worry son, it will have in a minute!"
And I ain't never seen so much jumpin' and shovin' before
And then somebody stepped on an old cat's tail
It let out a scream, a screech, a wail
And to say the least, that howl didn't help to calm the situation down
And then that lightnin' flashed and that house went black
And I spoke to my feets; I said "Boys, make tracks!"
And I went out that front door lickety split for town!
Well I cut through the cemetary, fell in a hole
It was Uncle Fred's grave, and it was dark and cold!
Yeah, the town drunk dug it and he dug it too deep
And unbeknownst to me, he's still in there asleep
And I'm scratchin' and jumpin' tryin' to get out of that hole
And he woke up and said:
"You might as well come over here and sit down beside me, boy
'cause you ain't gettin' outta here tonight."
But I did!
And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more
I don't know 'bout you
No, I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more
No matter what ya say or do
They say the dead can't hurt ya 'cause they already left
But what they left can sure make ya hurt yourself
And I ain't sittin' up with the dead no more
Since the dead started sittin' up too"
"I didn't even get to know her," Melody said as I stretched a sore leg, the sun just starting to pink the morning sky in the east. "Some of the sailors said she was yours once. I thought once you married…"
"We weren't married," I corrected her as she seemed confused. "We were, close, it's true, but she was married to a sailor named Hercules. She thought he was dead when it was reported his ship sank with all hands."
"But he wasn't, was he?" she then asked and I nodded. "I remember we pulled him off that island and brought him back."
"And I had to let her go," I said as I felt that lump crawl back up into my throat. "Even though she was already carrying my child...children...within her."
"What were you going to do when they were born?"
"Nothing," I told her as I shook my head. "I trusted Megara to provide them a good home and to raise them well with Hercules."
"But they were your kids," she reiterated. "Didn't you want to know them?"
"We don't always get what we want in life," I said as I tried to explain it to her. "I seem to recall you didn't want to go to sea when you mother signed you on."
"Mainly because Mister Kuyper wouldn't leave me alone, just like some of the sailors he had me serve drinks to," she said as she twisted her face up in disgust.
"Well, first they'd have your mother to deal with and if you think I'm strong, she can turn the helm alone where I need assistance," I said as I had to chuckle. "Then there's Jasmine who will gladly run him through with a sword for even thinking aloud of harming you. Evelyn and the girls will likely have already talked to you about it…"
"At length," she said with an exasperated sigh."
"And then there's me," I said as she locked eyes with me. "As captain when we're at sea, I've broad powers in the realm of discipline and punishment. I can go so far as to take a man's life if I believe the crime worth it and I've already made my position on the issue clear, both to your mother and my crew. No woman is to be messed with unless she so wants. If there's an issue you want scratched, there's Evelyn and the other girls below. Why risk my wrath to touch you?"
"But what about Ella?" she said as she drew her legs up under her and wrapped her arms around her knees. "You took advantage of her."
"Different situation, one I gave her the power to stop if she but asked," I said as I tried to explain that one to her. "At the time, I was sailing to fight Hook and every bed was taken either with a sailor or a soldier."
"I remember," she said as she huffed and she shook her head. "It was so crowded that our shoulders touched as we slept."
"As such, I didn't want her distracting someone and getting them killed if she couldn't handle the stress of battle," I said as I kept her on the subject at hand. "She was, then at least, a scullery maid who had ran away from home. She even spent her first battles hiding in the bilge from the bloodshed and the roar of the cannons."
"Oh," she said as she bowed her head at that, the sound of footsteps on the gangplank drawing my eyes in the pre-dawn light to find Monica boarding the ship carrying a wooden pale.
"Captain," she said in greeting as she looked at me, several of the other girls with her. "It's about time."
"We'll stay with her, captain," Sil said as she took up a position nearby and I nodded, handing my guitar off to Consuela before standing and stretching as Monica took my hand and led me back to my cabin.
The pale it turned out contained hot water for me to clean up with which I did as Monica laid out and freshened my clothes. She and I both worked in silence, the ever-increasing brightness of dawn giving just enough light to work by though the fatigue of having been up all night was starting to get to me though I knew once the sun came up it wouldn't be much of an issue. I hadn't done more than get the clean pants on though, when Monica wetted my soapstone and began to straighten out the burrs on my razor against the wide piece of leather nailed to the dresser.
"I can handle that," I told her as she rubbed her thumb over the edge of the blade as I buttoned up the pants, only to get almost done before realizing I hadn't gotten the two sides matched when I started and had to start over but quickly had them buttoned up right.
"Sit," she commanded me as she gave me a wan smile. "Your hands be shakin' with rage an' grief an' the last thing your gonna want this mornin' is people seein' you with cuts all over your face."
"I've never had anyone shave me before," I admitted as I took a seat facing the window to allow the glow coming in to illuminate my face so she could see to work.
"I shaved me da' a few times when me ma was sick," she told me as she applied the lather to my face with the brush, my head leaned back so my nose pointed to the ceiling and allowing her clear access to my throat. "Of course, if we let him shave himself, he'd cut his own throat his hands shook so. So, either me ma or I would have to shave him every mornin' an' before he went to town."
"So how you been doing?" I asked her if only to pass the time.
"Well, I be pregnant," she said as she made the first pass up my chin before dunking the blade in water and wiping it off. The news itself wasn't new to me, considering what as well might be a curse, but I was sure it was to her. "An' ye be the father."
"Add him to the list," I grumbled as it seemed to be my own curse.
"Aye, I heard you got Ella pregnant as well," she said as she wiped off the blade again. "As are most of the girls you have below."
"The child will be cared for," I promised her as she began working on my left cheek. "I don't know about marriage to anyone, getting named as a bleeding baron wasn't something I was expecting."
"At least ye be honorable about it," she said before pausing midstroke, then sighed before quickly switching cheeks.
"What would you prefer?" I said as she toweled off the excess lather with a towel as she finished up. "I abandon you at the next port? You'd be better off with Evelyn and the girls."
"I…" she began to say as she seemed to wilt under my harsh words and for a moment I almost wondered if I'd said something truly horrible as she picked up my shirt with a sob.
"I cannae do it," she finally choked out as I wrapped my arms around her which seemed to break down all the barriers holding her back as she began sobbing in my arms. "I tried. After givin' you my virginity, I tried to be with one of the sailors, but I couldnae do it. Seein' him over me, so large…"
"It's okay," I said soothingly as she continued to sob in my arms and knowing it was the trauma she'd been through.
"I know I gave you my virginity," she sobbed, "but I cannae sell myself for money."
"I never asked you to," I told her as I held her as she sobbed onto my bare, if slightly hairy, chest. "It's a hard thing to do and I know it. That's why I gave all women an option of a job, any job, rather than force them down that path. Even Ella found use as a cannoneer and Melody as a lookout. You've done well being a cabin girl and keeping things clean and neat for me."
"Then I guess I better do my part," she said as she seemed to finally find her resolve and wipe at her eyes.
My silk shirt was first, it's cinches quickly tied before Monica helped me slip my black vest on. It was as Monica removed the scarlet overcoat from its rack as I situated the baldric better on my shoulder that I had to sigh. It's cheerful color, at least to me, was wrong for the occasion but it was the only overcoat I had, or had wanted, as it had taken Monica and Ella some time to embroider the gold into its lapels and cuffs. She then pulled out the new brown leather baldric Simba had made for me after remarking on the many scars of my older one. Instead of just holding my sword at my left hand side like my old one, the newer one also had a holster for one of my pistols just above my sword, it's butt forward allowing me to draw and use it normally with my right hand or as a club with my left.
The last thing she handed me was my feathered tricorn, which as I sat on my head and looked in the mirror, found a distinct black ink-like stain running down from my epaulets over my overcoat. It was almost in horror that I watched as the stain turned my scarlet overcoat jet black, but it was almost in awe that I saw that instead of turning my gold embroidery black as well, the inky stain creeped under and around it giving it a bold background that made it pop.
"How...how did you do that?" Monica exclaimed as the inky stain finally reached the hem to turn the entire overcoat jet black.
"I...didn't," I said as I shrugged my shoulders before noticing even my baldric had been turned black as well. My tricorn was already black and after checking my pants, found the normally bluish pair were now black as well as my boots. I wasn't sure how it had happened, but I let out a silent thank you to whatever power had given me a proper burial outfit.
"It suits ye," she said as she gave me a wan smile before stepping in and giving me a hug, my arms going around her to return it. "Ye need not imitate that vile pirate anymore."
"I was hoping it wasn't that bad," I responded with a shake of my head as she looked up to me. "I do have to admit to liking his scarlet overcoat, it was why I had you and Ella make one to match."
Monica gave me a smile as she put her head on my chest, our hug going on for several long moments before she finally pulled away. With nothing else to do, I led Monica out of my cabin and onto the main deck where I found Shang and Mulan standing over Megara's body which was now placed in a coffin, the Warrior's Three standing behind them in a respectful manner. Most of my older crew that had served with me before I had taken Hook like Merida and her brothers, Jasmine and Aladdin, Ella, Ariel and Melody all stood nearby, the ladies with dark shawls draped over their shoulders who pulled them up over their heads at seeing me step out into the early morning light.
"We've taken care of everything," Rapunzel said, her voice pulling my head where I found her and Eugene standing among my crew. "Do you want us to lead the way?"
"Please," I told her, further nodding my ascent as it hit me I didn't know where they had dug her grave.
With that, Eugene and Rapunzel, arm in arm, began walking for the gangplank. Catching Shang's eye, my nod to him told him it was time and with a whispered word to the others they moved into place. Getting closer to the gangplank, I was able to see the second one laid beside the first allowing for pairs of people to traverse from the ship to the dock in pairs. With the governor and his wife leading the funeral procession, and Mulan and her men carrying the body right behind, I fell in behind them with members of my crew falling in behind me.
Eugene and Rapunzel led us out of town and towards the graveyard where a grave had already been dug. Mulan and Yao, the smaller and shorter of the honor guard carrying the coffin, jumped in the hole where Chien Po and Ling handed the coffin down to them and they settled it to rest before being helped out of the hole. The service itself was presided over by the governor, the ceremony itself simple like I kept my own funeral services after a battle. It was as they began to shovel dirt over the coffin that I got a chance to see who all had made the trek with me, surprised to find most of my crew had come if only out of deference to me and my pain and most of them began ghosting away as the dirt began to fill the hole.
"We'll give you a moment," Eugene said as he and I shook hands once the last of the dirt was placed on top of her grave. Rapunzel herself placed a bouquet of flowers on top of the fresh earth before giving me a hug which I returned briefly, then turned and walked away to leave me alone.
"I'm sorry for what I'm about to do," I said aloud as I knelt by the grave, putting a hand to the fresh earth and a sob hit me as it became time to say goodbye. A wind picked up from off the bay, it's light touch caressing my cheek as I let out another sob as it seemed to be her response to my apology for going after Hercules personally. It left me with just one thing to do as I leaned in closer.
"Weep not for roads untraveled," I sang as I sang the final verse to Roads Untraveled by Linkin' Park, having sung the first two verses to her as she died in my arms even as I wanted to cry making it hard to find the breath in me to sing. "Weep not for sights unseen. May your love...never end...and if you...need a friend...there's a seat here alongside me."
Having finally choked out the last line, I hung my head and cried, silently cursing myself for even bringing that scoundrel home to begin with. I should have cut him down as a pirate when I had the chance, the thought having plagued me the entire walk out. No one knew who he was, and no one would have cared. If I suddenly shouted 'pirate' and attacked my crew would have cut the pair to ribbons and thrown them overboard and likely forgotten all about it.
But…
'But could I live with myself after,' I thought as I cried over her grave. I might have spared her the pain, but as Garth Brooks had once stated, 'I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.' Even though she had seemingly moved on from Hercules and accepted me into her life and given me her body, I suddenly doubted I could live with myself if I had face her bright face every day knowing I'd killed her husband.
And ultimately, as I stood from her grave and wiped my eyes with the back of a sleeve, I knew I had done the right thing. King David, once God's chosen to lead Israel, had made the same mistake and it had cost him dearly. Even Phil had given me credit when I had brought them home safely and just walked away, not even seeking her out the last time she was here and it had been her seeking me out. Now, I had to do the same thing.
Walk away.
And it wasn't easy turning my back on that grave and facing my ship's masts, but I did it with the solemn vow that I was going to find that no good wife beating bastard and make him wish he'd stayed put on that island. I knew full well how the human body worked, and I didn't doubt one bit I could keep him alive for weeks as I slowly tortured him to death whilst he wished to die, but I would deny him his death until he accounted for every blow he'd given that poor woman.
Just watch me.