I had suffered quite a bit from my swim. My body had experienced a shock of cold, and had burned through a lot of energy. There would be no leaping into the sack and showing her all the physical pleasures associated with lovemaking. To be blunt… I had nearly died. And you don't just spring back from that in a few hours, no matter what those sordid romance stories try to claim.

Serana called it 'hypothermia' and said it was a frequent problem for human thralls at the castle. She warned me that it could take up to a week before I could fully recover. I bowed to her experience, letting her fuss over me in the process.

To be honest, it was nice to have someone worry over, and care for, me. As much as I valued my independence, I actually needed her nearby to help me out of the sleep roll. Sitting up to eat was a massive task, in the beginning, to say nothing of using our makeshift privy. My body felt like solid metal ingots were packed in every arm and leg. The way they trembled for the first few days said that I was in serious danger of collapsing without her steadying hands.

The evening after I woke up, Serana returned with the remains of my pack. Most of it had been lost; my bear fur coat and sleep roll had been brutalized on the rocks beneath the falls, and were in unrecoverable shreds. We would have to share our one sleep roll for now. The perishable foods were lost. She did manage to scrounge up the cooking pots, some with dents, but all were still serviceable.

Serana had even managed to find the ewer. Even though it was now empty, we could refill it on the sly at the fifth and final wayshrine. I didn't think there would be anyone to know or object to that small cheat.

The tent, bless everything, had been in her pack and thus had not gone over the falls. She pitched the tent at the very back of the shelter and built a fire that she kept burning day and night. We stayed there; me resting, her making rudimentary fortifications against the sabrecats. She would leave to stalk the occasional Falmer, and bring back deer meat to supplement our decimated supplies.

There were no bears here, but the sabre cats were prolific enough that we managed to take several of the shaggy beasts down. Luckily, they were persistent in pushing their luck against the two interlopers in the valley. Prepping their hides would take all my recovery time, but replacing my coat was vital. I was burning through the Potions of Resist Cold far too quickly without it.

.

Evening fell early a few days into my recovery and we retired to the tent before the true cold of the night could hit us. As our body heat filled our shelter, Serana shyly sat next to me.

"You said…" She stopped, then took a deep breath and barreled on. "You said that even if you take the lead, I would still be in control."

"I did."

"I… would like to try some things," she said softly. Serana started to open her mouth, then seemed to check herself. Her eyes flicked down to where my hands now rested on my knees, then away.

With a tiny headshake, she said, "No… You pick something."

"Don't be afraid to ask," I advised her.

"I don't know if it's appropriate to ask for," she murmured. "I don't… I don't even know where to start."

When you meet a frightened fox, do not simply pick it up and try to hold it. It will panic. It will fight. It won't understand that the embrace of a human is supposed to be comforting. Sit back, give it some room, and wait. Give it some measure of control over the situation. I felt a bit ridiculous for thinking of Serana as a shy fox, but my mother's words still repeated themselves in my mind. I couldn't help but wonder if the advice could apply to frightened vampires as well as frightened foxes.

Slowly, I raised a hand and extended it to her, "You seemed to want something to do with my hands. Go on. It's okay. We won't do anything involved with sex if you don't want to. But I don't want you to be afraid of exploring a little bit. Tell me what you would like."

"I… I once read a book… you know… when I was still alive…."

Over four thousand years ago, a part of my mind reminded me in a whisper.

"... two people…. Two lovers… they... they held hands." she finished the sentence in a rush, color flooding her cheeks as though she had spoken of something scandalous and indecent.

I should probably be grateful that she's wearing practical clothes. I thought dryly. Imagine what things could have been considered indecent back in her day. Bared ankles? Bared wrists? 'A lady should never wear less than six layers of clothes!' I wanted to laugh at the snobbish, pompous voice that my imagination conjured for me, but I knew it would be taken completely the wrong way.

Instead, I slowly nodded, keeping my voice calm and matter-of-fact, "People do that nowadays too. It's actually pretty common between people who are beginning to court one another. Human touch, simple contact. Light brushes of the fingertips. Touching hair," I used my other hand to draw a strand of hair back from my face and tucked it behind my ear as an example. "Even simply sitting next to each other and leaning lightly against the other to feel their body heat."

I moved my hand ever so slightly, spreading my fingers a little in invitation.

Serana blinked several times in rapid succession, apparently stunned by this revelation. Her dark amber eyes dropped to my still-extended hand, and then she slowly reached out and put her hand in mine, her expression shy and uncertain.

I folded my thumb over the back of her hand, before guiding our hands down to rest comfortably between us.

We sat that way for a while; long enough for Serana to relax and become comfortable with the gesture. Slowly, softly, we began to talk. About little things. Harmless things. We kept away from the heaviness of our pasts. Instead, we shared things that came with smiles, and little laughs.

The sounds outside the tent were faint. The hush of snow being blown. The soft chiming of icicles moving against one another in the branches of the trees. The soft rippling of the water.

Finally, I asked, "Would you like to try something else? You could pick something, or I could."

"I think I would like you to pick the first steps we take beyond holding hands," her voice had gone shy again.

I turned on the sleep roll so I was facing her. Tread softly, Lasirah. "May I touch your cheek?"

Another flicker of confusion darted across her expression, "My cheek? An odd place to start, but certainly."

I reached out and brushed her cheek, near the corner of her mouth, with the barest tips of my fingers.

Serana looked startled, but didn't pull away or show signs of fear.

I let my fingertips glide gently along her cheek toward the back of her jaw.

Her eyes began to glaze over.

I smiled a little and let my fingertips glide back to the front before gently cupping the side of her face in my palm. A simple touch; a slow caress. Not meant to be sensual, but merely comforting. Soothing. Letting her feel the touch of a human being. Letting her feel the warmth of another. If we were to progress naturally, our first steps had to be the simple pleasure of human touch. She had to be comfortable with this kind of thing.

This time her eyes fluttered closed. Taking a slow, deep breath, she turned her face into my hand, almost cat-like.

I held back a small chuckle, not wanting her to think I was laughing at her, and let my hand rest there. Once in a while, I used my thumb to stroke a slow arch. Touch starvation. The human need for simple physical touch. Doesn't even have to involve sex… just basic human contact… like a pile of puppies who find comfort in each other.

All was still for a few more seconds, then Serana's eyes flew open and she pulled back from my hand as though coming to her senses. "I… I'm sorry, I… don't know what came over me."

"Sorry?" I asked gently, "Sorry for what? If I'm reading my cues right, you very much enjoyed that small touch. There's nothing to apologize for."

"I…" Serana started, then stopped.

"You closed your eyes and leaned into my touch. Those are normal responses, and there's certainly nothing wrong with them."

Serana's face crumpled. "You must think that I'm an idiot," she whispered.

"Far from it," I corrected her kindly. "If this was your first time picking up a dagger, I certainly wouldn't expect you to wield it with the skill of a master. This is the first time you are experiencing a gentle caress in a way that wasn't maternal or... uh, whatever." I grimaced at myself, not wanting to dredge up unpleasant memories when I wanted to give her good ones. "Anyway, sometimes your body will respond to something in an instinctive way; you'll do something that feels right in response to something I do. And you'll do it without being told. That's okay," I reassured her, "and it's also okay if you make noises."

Serana looked a little horrified. "N-noises?"

"A soft moan. A hum. A groan. A sigh. These things are normal too. People make these sounds in response to things that feel good. If you think about it, you aren't new to them. Onsi's Bones, you even gave a little moan of pleasure when you ate Isran's apple pie."

Serana burst out with a giggle, then put her hand up to cover her mouth abashedly.

"No," I told her; "don't cover it up. It's okay to let these things out. It makes you human. It makes you normal. Both of those things are okay."

Serana didn't look very convinced, but she gave me a small smile.

We were quiet for a little while, and then a yawn forced its way out of me.

The Nord Vampire gave me a small grin and gently, if reluctantly, removed her hand from mine. "I think that's the cue that we're both ready for bed. Thank you Lasirah. I enjoyed this evening. Can we… continue these lessons on human touch?"

I nodded, "If you feel comfortable doing so."

Every night after this, we shared soft moments. Gradually, she began finding little reasons to get close to me, to enjoy the brush of a hand or casual interaction. She graduated from sitting next to me, to leaning against my shoulder, to finding comfort in being held and sharing warmth.