A New Beginning

Chapter 8: Talking Alone

Harry really just wanted his mind to shut off and stop thinking. The second everyone had left the room; for he had actually asked to be left alone for a moment, he was far too overwhelmed at the moment to want loads of people around him, even if they were his family; his mind had started whirling with… everything.

He had a parent now, one who would love, and protect, and look after him in any way Harry needed him to. He had actual brothers, too. And that was amazing.

The fact that he was having a daughter was also just… the most wonderful thing ever.

But then the dream he had flashed through his mind's eye again and he couldn't help but fear it. Because if he had already, unconsciously known that he was having a girl, then maybe the rest of the dream would come true, too.

Right?

Maybe he had, somehow, seen the future. And that scared him. Terrified him even. He couldn't… He couldn't lose his baby. Not after everything else. He couldn't lose the twins, or Tom even. And Merlin knew that he needed Sev. Not like that, either. Right in front of him, with a sword through his chest. And then for his baby to have her throat slit.

No, it couldn't happen. He couldn't do that. He couldn't live with that.

Especially not with Sirius and Remus holding him back with those horrid grins. That would tear him to shreds even more.

He sighed shakily as he stood from the bed, hand on his small bump still, and he made his way to the bathroom, hoping that the shower would help him relax a bit, and stop thinking quite so much, because he really couldn't deal with those memories anymore.

He stood there under the warm stream, his hands on his bump, rubbing soothing, slow circles into it, breathing deeply to calm his mind and racing heart. He looked down at the place where his child lay and smiled sadly.

"I love you, baby girl. I know I'm young, in age, but all I've ever wanted was a family. You are my family, along with Sev, and the twins, and Tom, your dad, I suppose. You are the most important person in the world to me, and I'm sorry I wasn't able to properly protect you, but I will do everything I can to do so now. I promise. Just… please, don't leave me. I don't think I could bear it if you did. I promise to not leave you, for as long as I can, too. I'll be the best mum I can be, I promise," Harry whispered to his belly, feeling a tad silly for doing so, but he had read that talking to your baby can be a good thing. So that they know your voice when they are born.

He left the shower after a few more minutes and dried himself, wrapping the black, silk dressing gown around himself and tying it around his waist.

He left the en-suite just as there was a knock on his door, "Come in," Harry said softly.

Part of him was shocked to see Tom enter the room, a nervous look in his eyes as the man looked at Harry, still in awe.

"I… Is it okay for me to be here, when it is just you and me? Or would you rather me go and get Severus or your twins?" Tom said, standing by the still open door.

"I, erm, you can stay," Harry said nervously, "I guess we should probably get used to being in the same room together, alone, or with our baby, right?"

"I suppose," Tom breathed, "But if you aren't comfortable doing it now then we can wait, I can go and get Severus or if you aren't up to talking at the moment then I will leave you alone,"

"Tom, it's fine," Harry smiled, ignoring the slight fluttering he was feeling, "You can stay, and we can talk. Just, please not about the war. I honestly don't care about that anymore. I don't think I ever really did,"

"Okay," Tom's lips twitched and he stepped towards Harry, hesitating slightly.

"Come, let's sit on the bed," Harry said, sitting himself on the bed, his back resting against a cushioned headboard as he gestured for Tom to sit in front of him.

Harry smiled when Tom did, in fact, sit in front of him, legs crossed, his red eyes going to Harry's stomach with shock, awe and a gentleness Harry never could have imagined coming from the man.

"We're having a daughter," Tom breathed.

"We're having a daughter," Harry smiled, trying to hide his fear, worry and everything else, though he thought Tom could see through it.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Tom said, concerned.

"Not really," Harry chuckled darkly, "But I'll survive, I think. Are you okay?"

"Why are you asking me that? I'm not…" Tom seemed rather confused.

"Your supposed enemy turned up at your home to tell you he was impossibly pregnant with your child. The way you found out involved… well, you know. And your whole life has been upturned. You are a human, Tom, with feelings, and a lot has happened, so are you okay? I may be the one pregnant at sixteen, but you are also about to be a parent, supposing everything goes smoothly," Harry said nervously, "And you deserve to be asked if you are okay,"

"I'm okay, thank you," Tom said, his voice soft and raw, "Still in shock, I think, but… I never thought I would have this kind of a chance,"

"Hm, same," Harry said, "Do you want to feel our daughter's magic?"

Tom smiled slightly and nodded, holding out his hand for Harry to guide it to the small bump, letting the man feel his and their baby's magic.

"She's going to be a powerful one?" Tom said proudly.

"What do you expect with you as her dad?" Harry grinned.

Tom raised an eyebrow, "And with you as her mum, Harry. You are powerful, too,"

Harry blushed lightly, looking down at their joined hands on his belly, "Can you feel the bump, too? It's small, not really visible yet, but…"

"I can feel it," Tom said, rubbing his thumb along the curve slowly.

Harry smiled, but then his thoughts caught up with him again and fear, worry, and way too many other feelings crept up, "I'm sorry. If… If she's not okay, I'm sorry for not doing enough to protect her-"

"Harry," Tom cut him off, a sad smile on his face, "I know that if things had gone the way they should have gone, then I probably would never have found out about our daughter. Understandable really considering everything I've done to you and the people you love. But they were the people you considered family, friends, and they made you think they thought of you that way, too. They were meant to love and protect you, and your children. No matter what. And they didn't. They turned on you for an accident, and not even the kind of one that usually gets people pregnant. It was an accident on all of our sides, and in no way your fault,

"Since before you even knew our baby girl existed you have been protecting her, from the people you shouldn't have had to protect her from. You, and your magic, has been protecting our daughter from abortion spells and potions that aren't meant to have any counter. You escaped from them. You ran away from your family to protect our baby. And for some reason you decided to come to me, despite everything I have done. You have loved her and protected her since before you even knew her, you are such an amazing mother already, Harry. If we find out during the thirty three week scan that she isn't completely healthy, then know that it will never be your fault. It is the fault of the people who tried to hurt her and you. You did everything you could to keep her safe, and healthy. You have nothing to be sorry for, and you never will have anything to be sorry for. If she is injured, hurt, or ill, it isn't your fault, and everyone who dared to hurt you both like that will be punished, even more severely than what we are already working on, for the pain it is causing you and her. And we will love her, and protect her, and care for her as best as we can. No matter what," Tom said, his voice both strong, and yet Harry could also sense some worry in there, too.

Harry smiled sadly at the man in front of him, "Would you… Would you like to be there? For the birth I mean?"

Tom looked at him, shocked beyond words, "Are you sure you'll be comfortable with me being there?"

"We have time to get to know each other between now and then, right? To become friends? You are her dad, Tom, and you deserve to be there for the first moments of her life on the outside. If you want to be?" Harry said, smiling slightly at the shock and awe on the man's face still.

"I… I want to be there for everything you let me be there for," Tom said, "I would be more than honoured to be there when she is born,"

"Good," Harry said, "So, what's your favourite colour?"

Tom chuckled slightly, "Forest Green. Yours?"

"Whatever colour the sky is when I look at it. But forest green is a good colour, too," Harry said.

"So, no Gryffindor red for you then?" Tom smirked.

"No, that red is way too bright and garish for me," Harry chuckled, "If I like any shade of red it is the darker ones,"

Severus entered the room with a gentle knock on the door, and Harry smiled at the man that was now his mother. Severus smiled at him and looked at Tom with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you both alright in here?" Severus asked, moving towards the bed and sitting next to Harry.

"Yeah," Harry said.

"Good. The twins are working on some dinner for you. Would you like to eat here? Or are you feeling up to touring the place and eating in the family dining room?" Severus said, raising an eyebrow at Tom again.

"Oh, yes, Harry. I understand your wanting to remain in here for a little while, but you are free to walk around. This is your home, too, now. And the Death Eaters have been told to only come here when I call them and that they are to leave as soon as our business is done. They have also been told that you are off limits and should anything happen to you that they will be… punished. So you are safe here. Our baby is safe here. If you want to have a look around, and eat in the dining room, that is perfectly fine. But if you want to stay in here a bit longer, then that is fine also," Tom said, removing his hands from Harry's tiny baby bump.

"I, erm, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to eat elsewhere," Harry said, knowing that he needed to stop confining himself to the bedroom he was in.

He needed freedom.

"Only if you're sure, Harry," Severus said gently.

"I'm sure," Harry nodded, "I will just need to get dressed first, though,"

Severus raised an eyebrow at Tom again, his eyes darkening as the older man gulped, "Right, I shall leave you to get dressed. Severus can show you the way to the family dining room," Tom said before nodding his goodbye and leaving the room, closing the door gently behind him.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Severus asked, concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, mum, I'm fine. We were just talking, about the baby mostly, feeling her magic," Harry said, smiling at the man who smiled back at him.

"Good," Severus said.

"Do you want to feel her magic? You are her nana now, after all, and you should get to feel it, too. If you want to, that is. I understand if you don't want to," Harry said worriedly.

It was now Severus' turn to look at him in shock, and awe, and love, and everything else, a smile tugging at the older man's lips as he nodded and Harry led his hand to his tiny bump, where his daughter lay, a grin lining his face.

"I am so proud of you, Harry," Severus breathed out as he felt the magics of his new son and granddaughter, "I don't know what I did to deserve you wanting to be my son, you wanting me to be in your daughter's life, but I promise that I will love, care for, and protect you both as best as I can,"

Harry smiled at the man some more, "I don't know what I did to deserve you wanting me to be your son. But I forever grateful for you, and I will do my best to be a good son,"

Severus' lips twitched upwards some more and he wrapped his arms around Harry gently, Harry melted into the hold, seeking the warmth and comfort he needed because the fear, and pain was still lingering in him.

"I'm scared," Harry whispered into Severus' shoulder, and Severus rubbed his back gently.

"Why, Harry? What's going on?" Severus asked, concerned.

"I… I knew my baby was a girl before you even told me. I dreamed it. But I also dreamed that they found me, and that they killed you, and Tom, and the twins… and her. Her throat was slit by Dumbledore. What if… What if that actually happens? What if I saw the future? I can't… I can't lose you, any of you… But especially you, and my baby. I can't-"

"Harry, child," Severus said, pulling back from the hug slightly and resting his hand gently on Harry's cheek, rubbing gently away the tears that had begun to fall with the pad of this pale thumb, "Sometimes mother's just know what they're having. Mother's have a good intuition a lot of the time, and they can just pick up on it. And they can dream it, too, when they are pregnant. Many women, and bearers, have dreams when they are pregnant, of their baby, of things happening to their baby. But it doesn't mean that many or any of those things will become true. Yes, your mind may have known you were having a girl. But the rest of the dream was just a dream, Harry. We are adding wards to the property, at various points so that no one except those we invite in can get in. And if people try to get in then they have to work through multiple layers of wards, which gives us time to escape and such should they try. We are doing everything we can to keep you, and your daughter safe, Harry. And we will continue to do so. We will leave the country if necessary. We won't let them near you ever again, Harry, and we especially won't let them near your baby," Severus said softly.

"But-"

"I know it's hard to believe at the moment, child, I do. A lot has happened these past few weeks, and you are scared. Which is completely understandable. But you are safe here, as safe as we can make you, and we are prepared to leave at the drop of a hat if we need to. We have Portkeys, hidden passageways, and everything else that will help us protect you, and we are getting more things, and more people prepared to help us as we go. I know it's hard, I know you're scared, but I need you to try and trust us with your safety, and the safety of your daughter, so that you can remain as stress-free as possible. Can you do that for me?" Severus said, worry in his eyes as he looked down at Harry.

"I can try," Harry whispered, "I do trust you, I just…"

"I know," Severus said, understanding in his eyes as he kissed Harry's forehead, "But I promise that no matter what happens, you and your baby will be okay. Now then, I believe it is time for food, so I will wait outside for you to get dressed, then I will show you to the dining room. That is, if you would still like to eat there?"

"Okay," Harry nodded.

Severus smiled slightly and kissed Harry's forehead again, "I love you, Harry. Everything will be okay, in the end, I promise,"

"I love you, too," Harry breathed, trying desperately to believe it.

Hiya, how are you all?

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. What do you think? Did Harry tell the future, or part of the future with his dream? Or was it just a dream? Haha. In all seriousness though, I would love to hear your thoughts on where you think the story is going, or what you would like to see and such, if you are inclined to share.

Anywho, I posted an essay/petition where I (un)officially explain why I think I should be cast as my favourite character, Severus Snape, in the new HBO series, despite the fact that I am a woman. It would mean a lot if you went and read it, but no pressure. It isn't going to lead to anything, unless, by some miracle, it goes viral, but it was fun to write. Feel free to go and check it out.

Also, I am working on some Spotify playlists for my fanfics, so if you can think of any songs you think work with the stories as they are so far, or where you think they are going, or songs that give you the vibes you get from the stories, then please do let me know and I will give them a listen, then potentially add them to the playlists. If you would like to go and give them a listen as they are now then you can find me on Spotify under the name Maraudering_Paige. They aren't that long at the moment, but we are making progress and I will continue adding to them the more music I listen to and when I have the time to do so. But still, if you can think of any relevant songs then do let me know.

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And finally, if you like poems, then I write them and I have started a where you can read 1 or more poems every month depending on how many I have the time to post. You also get access to information about my original books I am working on before anyone else. And you get your name listed in the acknowledgements section of any book I publish whilst you are a Patron. For as little as £1.11 (plus VAT) a month. If you would like to join me over there and read some rants I call poems, and get updates on original work, then you may. My username over there is Paige_Makepeace. No pressure, by the way, you certainly do not have to if you can't or don't want to. I understand. I just thought it would be a cool thing to try. Any money made from this will go towards helping me write and publish the original novels I am working on. Including the one I am hoping to publish first which is a slow-burn, witchy, bisexual/lesbian enemies to lovers book. You will also be able to read the first draft of the first chapter of my book, so, if you are interested in doing that then feel free to go and subscribe if you want to.

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Paige xx