The Reality of Things
Jasmine sat at the kitchen table, drinking her second cup of coffee while Samantha brushed her hair out for the third time. Setting the brush down next to Jasmine's elbow, Samantha ran her fingers through Jasmine's hair, sectioning it out and twisting into another French braid. Thane sat at Jasmine's left, a cup of tea in front of him and hands folded on the table. He and Geoffrey were discussing dextro accommodations for Ares, should he attend the wedding.
"You're gonna have a turian at your wedding?" Samantha asked, hands freezing in their work on Jasmine's hair.
Turning to look over her shoulder, Jasmine sat down her cup. "I want to, yeah. My friend, Nemos, if he's able to come," she said, using the alias Ares used with her team. She pursed her lips and then asked, "Is that okay with you?"
Samantha shrugged, not quite meeting Jasmine's gaze. Heart sinking into the pit of her stomach, Jasmine glanced at Geoffrey, hoping he might provide some enlightenment.
"Come here, sweetheart," Geoffrey said to Samantha, pushing his chair away from the table and turning to sit sideways.
She went to stand in front of her father, chewing on the inside of her cheek.
Geoffrey watched her for a second, seeming to interpret her body language with his magical dad senses. "Are you worried about the neighborhood kids teasing you again?"
Folding her shoulders inward, she lowered her chin toward her chest. "I don't know."
"Are you nervous about meeting a turian?" Jasmine asked, leaning forward with her forearms resting on the table. She hoped that was all it was because it'd be an easy fix; nothing to be too concerned with.
"No," Samantha finally said with a sigh and shook her head. "I'm worried about David's dad."
"Who's David?" Jasmine furrowed her brow looking between Samantha and Geoffrey.
Letting out a groan, Geoffrey rubbed his thumb and forefinger over his eyes. "David is the father of the kid Rift hit for teasing Samantha. His father fought in the war, and he's a bitter man." He met Jasmine's gaze. "He's had more than a few … opinions to voice since he moved in with his son down the street."
"Opinions I probably don't want to hear, I'm guessing?" Jasmine arched an eyebrow and tapped her fingernail against her coffee mug.
Opinions Ares probably won't want to hear. Well, at least not and leave the man standing in one piece.
"Definitely don't want to hear," Geoffrey sighed and reached out to Samantha, rubbing his hands along both of her arms. "Samantha, honey, don't you worry about Mr. Mason. If he tries to cause any problems, the adults will take care of it, alright?"
She pursed her lips to the side and shook her knee a few times. "What if he ruins Jasmine's wedding?"
"Now that simply isn't going to happen." Jasmine picked up her coffee cup and took a sip, fighting to keep her concerns off her face. "It's just not even possible."
Samantha arched her eyebrows, turning her attention to Jasmine, but her body stayed rooted in her father's direction. "It's not?"
"Not at all," Thane said, offering Samantha a smile as he reached across the table to take Jasmine's hand.
"How can you be sure?" Samantha asked, looking between the two of them.
"Because, so long as the people we love are there, it'll be perfect no matter what else happens." Jasmine squeezed Thane's hand, grateful he backed her play so effortlessly.
Samantha scoffed softly and rolled her eyes. "If you say so," she said, shaking her head.
"I do say so." Jasmine smirked and then scraped her teeth over her lip. "Hey, why don't you do me a favor and make sure your brother doesn't kill Theo with a million questions?"
Crossing her arms over her chest and cocking one hip out to the side as she turned around fully, Samantha said, "You're just trying to get rid of me so you can talk about Mr. Mason. But fine."
Jasmine snorted and said, "No, I'm trying to get rid of you so I can talk about my turian friend." Setting down her coffee cup, she tugged her other hand from Thane's. "Now shoo!" She waved her hands playfully, wagging her fingers toward the kitchen door.
Samantha grinned and backed away slowly, creeping her way across the floor toward the door, taking as long as she possibly could. Geoffrey laughed, but he didn't say anything to hurry her along. When at last she reached the threshold, she spun, hair twirling around her head, and left the kitchen.
"Rift!" Samantha called as she made her way toward the living room. "Jasmine said don't drive Theodus crazy with your questions!"
Tone affronted, he responded, "I'm not!"
"Actually," Jasmine hollered, leaning back in her chair to watch Samantha's retreat, "I said not to kill him with questions. You can drive him crazy, that's fine." She grinned when she heard the chorus of laughter coming from the front.
"You're as bad as they are," Geoffrey said, shaking his head and grinning when she glanced his way.
She shrugged and picked up her coffee cup. "I know."
He laughed and took a swallow from his own cup. Setting it back down on the table again, his expression sobered up and he said, "You don't need to worry about Mr. Mason, he's harmless."
"Well," she said, shifting in her seat and scrunching up her nose, "I think I kinda should. Nemos is … he's kinda crabby, sometimes, and I know he doesn't take kindly to racist bullshit, even from his own people. So, unless we want to risk bodily harm to your neighbor, we should probably make sure he isn't around to run his mouth."
Thane propped his elbows on the table, folding his hands and resting his knuckles against his lips.
Geoffrey tapped his fingertips on the table and then leaned forward. "Well, what do you suggest?"
"I'm not sure yet." She sucked in a deep breath and then blew it back out. "I'll give it some thought. Maybe giving Nemos some advanced warning will be enough …."
"Hey," Jasmine said, leaning against Geoffrey's open office door. "Got a minute to talk?"
She scanned the room, remembering the aftermath of his brokenhearted rage. She'd returned from her failed quest for vengeance against Karin's murderers to find his office completely trashed. Not a sign of it remained, of course. He'd had everything cleaned and patched up by the next day; didn't want to risk upsetting the kids even more. Still, she saw it whenever she looked at the room.
Geoffrey glanced over his shoulder and smiled before closing the lid to his laptop. "Of course," he said, spinning his chair sideways and resting an elbow on the desk's surface.
Stepping inside, she closed the door behind her and sat down on the couch. "I need to tell you something, but I'm …." She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and threaded her fingers together. "Geoffrey, I've resigned from the Phantoms."
He watched her in silence for a moment, but she knew him well enough to know it didn't mean anything more than he wanted to take his time thinking over what she'd said before responding. "I'm guessing you don't mean you're taking on a different position within the Alliance."
"No." She shook her head and swallowed. "I'm going to freelance with Thane."
"I see." He stood up and pulled his chair over before sitting back down right in front of her—eye to eye when she sat upright again. "Jasmine, you know this could lead to serious trouble for you."
"I do," she said and nodded, "but either way, it's time for me to leave the Alliance."
Loosely crossing his arms over his chest, he brought an ankle up to rest it on his opposite knee. "Because you're marrying Thane?"
"No." She gave him an emphatic shake of her head.
Raising an eyebrow, he tried again, "Because of whatever it was that got you in trouble a while back?"
She hummed and nodded but shrugged, too. "That's a part of it, yeah."
"What happened, Jasmine?" he asked, voice soft and eyes pleading.
She arched an eyebrow. "Back then?"
"Back then, now, all of it?" He waved his hand through the air and then dropped his foot back to the ground, leaning in toward her with his hands braced against his knees. Shaking his head, he said, "Don't tell me it's classified, you just told me you plan on killing people for credits outside the bounds of Alliance law, and after I agreed to have your fiancé go after those men so you wouldn't be guilty of murder. I think that puts us passed worrying about 'classified.'"
She winced.
And here I am, throwing it back in your face. Fuck me.
She always seemed to drag him into her shit, one way or another. Technically, he never should've even known about the Phantoms. Duty said he should report her for freelancing her assassin skills, though he never would. Even if the whole thing with Karin's murderers never happened, leaving him covered in shit, too, Geoffrey would never turn on Jasmine. It was a fact she felt to her core, and one she was so, so grateful for.
He reached out, resting his hand on her knee. "I'm not—look, this isn't about judging you, Jasmine. I love you, and I always will. It's not even really about the Alliance. I just want to understand. Signing up, being a part of the Alliance, you used to love it, didn't you?" He frowned, looking so wounded and confused. "I hope you know you can trust me with whatever you tell me. It won't leave this room, kiddo."
"I know, Geoffrey. And I do trust you." She sucked in a deep breath and scooped up both of his hands, holding them tight in hers. "Some of it, I can't tell you." She shook her head. "I think knowing would put you at risk, but even if it didn't, there's no way it wouldn't have a negative impact on your life and maybe the kids', too. I refuse to do that. Besides, it's not just my story to tell. Not anymore."
His jaw twitched, and he looked down at their hands. He let her words sit for a minute before squeezing her fingers and meeting her gaze again. "Tell me what you can."
"Alright." She nodded and took a deep breath. "So, what got me in trouble … I killed Leon." Confessing to Geoffrey, knowing he'd been the one to comfort her broken heart when she ended things with Leon, hit a little differently than it did with anyone else. Her eyes watered, but she sucked it down. She was done crying for Leon.
"Jesus." Freeing one of his hands, he raked it through his hair. "Why? What happened?" His brow furrowed, anger seeping into his eyes. "Did he do something to hurt you?"
"Yeah, yeah he did, but not in the way you're thinking." She tipped her head to the side. "Well, a little in the way you're thinking," she said, flicking her free hand through the air, "but that wasn't the main reason at all."
Confusion and doubt joined the anger, and he shook his head. "What was the reason?"
She let him go and settled back against the cushions, preparing herself for storytime. "He showed up on the Citadel and told me he had an assignment for the two of us on Illium." She studied Geoffrey for a couple of seconds, weighing out her words. "Long story short—because I just don't think I can rehash all the little ways he fucked me over and messed with my head right now—his father had been shot and was in a coma, wasn't going to wake up again. Before this, his dad was wrapped up in some legal mess with a company on Illium called RetCorp, and Leon believed the asari involved sent an assassin after his dad."
Settling back in his chair, Geoffrey propped his elbow on the arm rest and cradled his chin. His brown eyes moved as he tracked all the little shifts in her expression, he never missed a beat, and she wasn't trying to keep them hidden. She saw the building dread in his eyes, like he knew something truly terrible was coming, and there was nothing he could do to stop it because it'd already happened.
"When I discovered the family connection and called him on it, he swore the job was legit and not just him looking for revenge." Which, after the way she handled Karin's death, she really couldn't blame him, could she? "He said the Alliance didn't know he was the man's son, so they didn't think anything about passing it on to him. He didn't want to put anyone else on it, but he thought having me there would help him keep it together and get the job done. He swore if the Alliance ever figured anything out, he'd take full responsibility. Tell them I was just following orders. I was stupid, is what I was."
Geoffrey gave her a disapproving frown, but he didn't seem to realize it himself. He'd always hated it when she insulted herself.
"It's more complicated than that," she said, waving a hand as if she could erase the look from his face, "but I had no idea it was all a load of shit until after …." She cleared her throat and closed her eyes, shame sweeping over her once again. "A lot of people died that day, and not just those he thought were responsible. And not just because we had to fight our way out of the building."
She opened her eyes to find Geoffrey watching her closely. The look on his face was the same one he had when she told him she relapsed. That worry and regret, almost as if … as if he thought he was someone responsible for every bad decision she made. Or at least he felt like an asshole for not being able to protect her from all the darkness in the world. A part of her wondered if her own father ever cared about her enough to feel that way.
"When I realized the whole job was a lie, we weren't supposed to be there at all, I confronted him. He just kept telling me to leave it alone. I didn't, of course." She forced a smirk on her face, trying to lighten the load a little, she guessed. "He implied the Alliance would never find out because he intended to kill everyone else we'd dealt with on Illium, including—I'll get back to that." She shook her head, dismissing the train of thought. "Anyway, I tried to stop him, and we fought." She ran her fingers over the fading scar on her temple. "He knocked me out with the butt of his gun, and then patched me up before leaving."
Rage flared in Geoffrey's eyes, and he leaned forward, studying the fine line running over her temple. If he clenched his jaw any tighter, he was going to end up breaking a tooth. He'd seen the cut when it was fresh—she'd called him from Illium to tell him she was in trouble and didn't know when she'd be able to talk to him again—but at the time, he hadn't paid it any mind. It wasn't the first injury he'd seen her with, and God knew it wouldn't be the last.
"When I woke up, my head was swimming," she continued, voice softer as she tucked her hands between her knees. "He'd trashed the place, destroyed my omni-tool, laptop … I didn't have any way to reach out for back up or warn anyone. I didn't even know how much time had passed. I just knew I had to try to stop him from killing anyone else."
He frowned and nodded, but pride replaced the anger in his eyes. "You did the right thing. It sounds like he was unhinged."
"He was." She nodded. "And I'd do it again a million times under the circumstances."
"That's my girl." Smiling, Geoffrey relaxed back in his chair again. "So, what happened?"
"One of the people he was going after was Thane." She held up a hand to stave off his confusion. "Thane wasn't involved in the job, he'd gone to Illium under an alias just to be near me. But apparently, at some point, Leon learned who Thane really was—and what he meant to me. Leon also planned to kill Nevas, an asari we'd groomed to get us into RetCorp."
Jasmine cleared her throat, remembering how crushed, how just completely devastated and afraid she'd felt that night. "I went to Nevas' house because I knew Thane could take care of himself, and I felt responsible for putting Nevas in Leon's crosshairs—I was the one who chose to use her for an in at RetCorp." She licked her lips. "Thane was with Nevas, though—he'd befriended her as a way to legitimize being around me, and …" She shook her head. "… it doesn't matter. Anyway, he was there.
"The door opened before I could knock or anything, and when it did, all I registered was the silhouette of a man on the balcony with a gun raised. I recognized him instantly, and I didn't hesitate. I took aim and fired … a few times." She didn't need to tell him how she'd intentionally taken non-lethal shots, twice, before finally putting one between Leon's eyes. "Thane had shoved Nevas behind the couch just before the front door opened. I guess he saw movement or something as they were about to leave, and he turned just in time to see someone out there with a weapon. They were both confused as all hell …."
Lowering her gaze, she swallowed, amazed at how sick to her stomach the whole thing still made her feel. "I found out later that Leon detoured inside of RetCorp and killed other asari we'd had brief interactions with. It kept us in the building longer than we should've been, and one of the bodies was found. The alarm went off, and we had to fight our way out. Several guards died during our escape, too. Before heading to Nevas' apartment, he'd stopped by a turian's house and killed the man and his wife."
Geoffrey furrowed his brow. "Were they involved somehow?"
She shook her head. The Canso couple's deaths sickened her the most. "The poor guy only knew us because Leon got drunk and started a bar fight with him while pissed off at me. Then he brought the drunk turian back to our apartment to sleep on the couch because he thought it'd keep me from yelling at him some more. That's it. That's why, in Leon's mind, he had to die. I guess his wife was just in the wrong place at the wrong time." She swallowed again. "Thankfully, they didn't have children." She took a second to settle herself, smoothing a hand over her ponytail and taking a deep breath.
"That man was completely coldhearted." Geoffrey shook his head and clenched his jaw.
Nodding her agreement, she licked her lips and continued, "I turned myself in for everything that happened on Illium, and for killing Leon. I was imprisoned while my superiors investigated matters." She let out a derisive snort. "While I was there, though, I learned they found a vid on Leon's omni-tool. He'd made it after knocking me out, and just like he'd promised, he admitted to everything. He took responsibility for it all."
Slightly shaking his head, he waved his hand in her direction. "But you were in there for months."
"Yep," she said, popping her lips. "I'd killed one of my own, and some of the people there didn't care why. They kept questioning me and digging into things, trying to find a way to make it all my fault. When they finally gave up, they assigned me a new handler—Isaac—and let me go."
Leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees, he rubbed a hand over his face. "And you came here."
"And I came here." She nodded and smiled. "And then I went to Kahje to find Thane."
"I can't believe they held you that long." He shook his head, brow dipping inward again. "Didn't your JAG fight for your release?"
She scoffed but caught herself before she could roll her eyes. "Geoffrey, I wasn't given an attorney. I wasn't put on trial. The Phantoms are black ops, and don't exist on the books." Pressing her lips into a thin line, she shook her head. "I was taken to an undisclosed location and locked in a cell with a bed and a toilet in the same room. I got fed crap food—once topped with a guard's spit, which he did right in front of me. There was a vidscreen, but the asshole guards controlled the remote." She glanced down at her hands before meeting his gaze again. "I had a few books to read. I only got let out of my cell—in too tight handcuffs—to shower every few days or to be interrogated again, and again, and again." She forced a fake smile onto her face and shrugged. "That's it. That's what I got. I didn't know if I'd ever get out, and there wasn't anyone on the outside who knew enough to try and advocate for me."
Silence filled the space between them for a couple of minutes. Geoffrey watched her, and she watched him. She couldn't tell for sure what he was thinking, if her story changed how he felt about the Alliance overall. Maybe a part of her hoped it did, but an even bigger part felt saddened that it might. The Alliance was important to him, something he believed in and devoted his life to, and she didn't want to be responsible for taking that away. She suspected, however, that if Leon were still alive, Geoffrey would hunt him down to tear him a new one if nothing else.
"The other thing—what you don't want to tell me—" Geoffrey said, sounding subdued, "it's bigger than this?"
"Oh, yeah." She nodded then scoffed, absently rubbing her arms. "Way bigger. No turning back, kinda big."
He ran a hand over his face again, but it didn't quite wipe away his frown. "You can't tell me anything about it?"
"Let's just say," she started and then paused as she thought about how to phrase things, "I learned too much about some of the bedmates the Alliance keeps, and …."
"And?" He raised his eyebrows and let his hand plop down on his knee.
"Well, you know me, Geoffrey." She smiled and shrugged. "I see something wrong, I gotta figure out a way to fix it."
"I do know you," he said, pushing himself upright. "Are you putting yourself in danger to fix it?"
"Yeah," she said, pursing her lips and slowly nodding, "yeah, I am. But, I'm not alone."
He sighed, resignation weighing heavy in his eyes. "I can't convince you to try something else instead, something safer?"
She shook her head. "I don't think there is a safer way to handle it without creating an even bigger shitshow for humanity."
"Christ." He leaned back in his chair, staring off at nothing for a minute. Finally, he met her gaze again. "What can I do?"
She smiled, stood up, and then leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Walk me down the aisle when I marry the man I love."
"It'd be my honor, kiddo." He reached out and squeezed her hand, the corners of his eyes still creased with worry.
She moved to the door and then stopped, looking back over her shoulder with her hand on the knob. "And maybe … maybe consider an early retirement."
Jasmine hugged Jessica, face buried in her hair. Not to say that she didn't absolutely love the hell out of all of the kids, but things had changed with Jessica. The talk they'd had a few days before tied the two of them together. Now, she held a secret of Jasmine's, and Jasmine held a secret of hers. It'd left them both vulnerable and feeling uncertain, but it'd made their trust in one another grow.
It'd cemented them as sisters.
Jessica's eighteenth birthday had come and gone, but burying her mother really forced her to grow up. It was heartbreaking, but it was also just the reality of things. Maybe it was time for Jasmine to accept that Jessica wasn't a kid anymore.
"Will you be around in May?" Jessica asked, pulling back to meet Jasmine's gaze.
"I can be. Why, what happens in May?" Jasmine lifted an eyebrow.
Jessica smirked and gave Jasmine a look that said it should be obvious. "My graduation."
"Oh. Damn." Jasmine chuckled and shook her head. "Yeah, of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'm so proud of you."
Jessica snorted, and dragging the words out, said, "Shut up."
"No, I'm serious!" Jasmine pinched her side, making her yelp. "I didn't make it through high school, remember? I had to do the whole GED thing just to enlist. But look at you, graduating, and right on schedule." She raised both her eyebrows. "It's an accomplishment, trust me."
"She's right, you know." Geoffrey moved to stand next to them and put a hand on each of their shoulders. "And I'm proud of both of you."
Jasmine blushed, just a soft warmth spreading over her cheeks, and she turned to hug Geoffrey. "Thank you, Geoffrey. For everything."
"Of course, kiddo." He squeezed her tight and kissed her forehead. "Of course."