Super Zero Teddy annoys everyone when he gets obsessed with an organic and nutritious yogurt called Heifer brand fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt. And the Toons are all in a spoof of Jurassic Park.
Plot
The Simpsons lounge. Teddy is on the couch, again! Oscar's pet teddy bear creature was watching a weird commercial.
"Captain Space Heifer."
A pink costumed superhero with a bell dangling from an antenna on his costume was the star of the commercial.
"More cowbell!" Christopher Walken yelled.
Teddy hushed him.
He had tied up some ninjas!
"You win this round Captain Heifer!" said the ninjas.
"Yes I do." said Captain Heifer. The bell on his head rang whenever he moved. "But I couldn't have done it without Heifer brand fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt." He was advertising yogurt.
"It's partially hydrogenated!" said the captured ninjas.
"QUIET YOU!" Captain Heifer vaporised them with his eye lasers!
"It's partially hydrogenated." said Captain Heifer.
The commercial ends on a yogurt flying through space.
"Eat Heifer Brand all natural style yogurt. If you don't. I'll melt you too!" said the superhero. How nice! Not!
He laughed heartedly.
Teddy laughed mimicking him.
Captain Heifer laughed again.
Teddy mimicked him and laughed too.
"I will!" Captain Heifer said deadly serious.
Hugo sat down and read a book.
Teddy was making constipated noises.
"What are you doing?" Bart's evil twin who was actually the good twin but actually if you look at it they're both evil, asked annoyed.
"I am trying to melt your brain with my awesome eye LASERS! So you'll eat Heifer brand fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt. It's partially hydrogenated. QUIET YOU!" said a Teddy handing him a small tub of yogurt.
"I don't eat yogurt..." said Hugo tossing it away.
"Ugh! Who threw that yogurt?!" Homer yelled off screen.
Teddy was sad.
"YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!" He yelled.
Hugo sighed.
...
Speaking of Homer...
Homer was in the yard with some wood to build something.
"Well Harold is building a tool shed with death but I already have a tool shed. Dad's using it as an outhouse..." Homer sighed.
"Where's the bog roll?" Abe asked from inside the tool shed.
Homer grimaced in disgust as he'll be cleaning that up later...
Death arrived. "I am death!"
"Death? We don't want it..." said Homer.
A studio audience laughed.
Death sighed.
"It's because people die, isn't it..." Death sighed.
"Well people are frightened of death you ol' bag of bones." said Homer.
Harold yodelled across the neighbourhood.
"What are you doing you nincompoop!?" Homer yelled.
"Testing the acoustics..." said Harold, Billy's Dad.
"Well don't! It's annoying enough with those yodelling polar bear cub things..." said Homer.
A polarchuck started yodelling.
"Dieter there's no point trolling us by causing avalanches with cartoon yodelling... we don't live near a mountain..." said Oscar.
The Polarchuck frowned.
"Look Homer people die sooner or later. It's a good thing everything got reset after you quit being Death." said Death.
"I'm gonna pick my nose now." said Harold.
"Uh okay..." said Homer.
"Anyway Bonesy... I-"
Harold was picking his nose. He somehow managed to pick and pull out his own brain and then decided to eat it. Yes he ate his own brain...
"Um Eeeeeeewww!" said Homer.
"Yeah I think I'd rather spend time with Teddy. Where is he?" said Oscar.
"I think you left your teddy bear in the lounge." said Homer.
"Oh yeah." said Oscar.
He went indoors.
...
Lounge.
Oscar finds Teddy there.
"Hi Teddy." said Oscar to his living teddy bear creature.
"Eat Heifer brand all natural style yogurt. It's partially hydrogenated. QUIET YOU!" Teddy was still obsessed over yogurt.
"Okay..." said Oscar.
"EAT DA YOGUUUUURT!" Teddy yelled.
"Teddy! I don't want any yogurt right now!" Oscar frowned.
"THEN I SHALL MELT YOU WITH MY AWESOME EYE LASERS!" Teddy made constipated sounds and crouched. He just farted and that was it.
"Teddy you don't have eye lasers. I haven't given you that power." said Oscar.
"WHYYYYYYYY?!" Teddy cried.
"Because bears don't have eye lasers! That would be stupid!" said Oscar.
"He's been like that all day..." said Hugo exasperated.
"I'm sure he'll soon get bored of doing that. Like his pie phase." said Oscar.
"I LIKE PIE!" Teddy yelled.
"Okay I forgot he'll never stop doing that because he shares a voice actor with Billy." said Oscar.
"How exactly is he an original character again..." Hugo sighed.
"Well he's a bear and not a ginger haired boy with a big round pink nose..." said Oscar.
Hugo sighed.
"And he's um really huggy..." said Oscar. Teddy face hugged him.
Teddy giggling while clutched tight around Oscar's head and obscuring his face.
"Ted I can't breath..." said Oscar.
Teddy jumped down and fetched out a yogurt. "Just try some!"
"No!" Hugo yelled.
Teddy sighed and peeled off the lid of the yogurt and ate it, along with the plastic yogurt pot.
"I love Space Heifer brand yogurt! Almost as much as I love pie!" Billy yelled.
Hugo grimaced. "Please demonstrate the ideology of "I like pie."."
"I DON'T KNOW!" Billy screamed.
Hugo sighed.
...
Oscar was in the kitchen drinking a glass of juice while Teddy ate all the yogurt.
(Teddy eating the yogurt like a pig).
Homer's friend the bear From The Fat and the Furriest smacked teddy on the head.
"Ow!" Teddy whined as the bear handed him a spoon.
"Hey Baloo, eating porridge again? Ahehehe!" Homer chuckled to his friend the bear.
The bear rolled his eyes.
"I don't feel safe with a bear in the house." said Marge.
Teddy frowned at her.
"I meant a realistically portrayed feral bear. I'm alright with cartoon talking bears." said Marge.
"The ability to talk doesn't stop me being a savage. I'd maul you all right now if I wanted to." said Teddy.
"So what's stopping you?" Oscar stammered.
"You. And that the Simpsons provide me with yogurt and honey and PIE! and salmon, I prefer my salmon to be live though..." said Teddy.
"Well go to a river with Baloo and catch one then..." said Homer.
"My name is not Baloo..." said the bear Homer befriended.
"You don't talk. You're feral. Oh and I don't like the fish in your rivers. They're mutated..." said Teddy.
Then All the Toons stumbled in.
Quiffy was clearly going on vacation. Inane Brian had a hamburger on a stick! McGee was reading the holy bible.
"Oh great the Looney Tunes are here." Homer sighed.
"Do not go there, as I will quote Bugs Bunny. And probably get a law suit..." said Quiffy.
"Where are you all going?" Marge asked.
"Our story arc is a spoof of Jurassic Park. Unfortunately McGee is coming..." said Quiffy.
McGee frowned while reading the bible.
"I gotta a hamburger on a stick!" Inane Brian cheered delighted.
"Want some Hellfire hot sauce on that burger?" Flame Magmarashi asked while drinking extremely hot Hot Sauce.
"Uh no. I like to taste my food." said Brian.
"HEY!" Teddy yelled. "This story is about me and why will no one try Heifer brand fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt?!" Teddy yelled.
Quiffy was speechless.
"It's partially hydrogenated..." said Oscar.
"QUIET YOU!" Teddy yelled.
...
The Toons deciding to get away from Teddy and his yogurt obsession got the first helicopter flight to Jurassic Park. Well actually Cretaceous Park as the dinosaurs in the first movie actually lived in the Cretaceous...
"There it is." said Richard Attenborough. "Cretaceous Park island!"
The badass theme tune played!
"Na na nana! Nana Nuh na nanaaaaaa!" Oscar sang while playing with his plastic dinosaurs.
Bart groaned exasperated as Oscar sang over the background music.
"And why haven't I had any lines yet?!"
"You have loads of lines! Let my Original Characters have lines!" Oscar yelled.
The Toons arrived on Cretaceous Island.
Jeff Goldblum was there.
"I hope he's not one of those guys that wears sunglasses indoors..." said Quiffy.
"I did that once and couldn't see properly and I slammed into a wall..." said Brian.
Quiffy sighed.
"Do you guys mind?! I'm trying to enjoy the awesome music!" Ace was standing there enjoying the Jurassic Park theme.
"This is a terrible and sinful vacation! Why can't we go to the Garden of Eden and I show you guys how the world was really created..." McGee groaned.
The Toons rolled their eyes.
"Oh so you really believe that bungus that the Earth is actually billions of years old and that different animals lived in different times and that birds Evolved from lizards..." McGee sulked.
"You really believe an imaginary being created the world in six days and that none of the creatures killed and ate each other?!" Ace sighed exasperated.
McGee sulked while they watched the dinosaurs walking about.
At home.
Teddy was still going on about Heifer brand fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt. And his laser eyes.
He grunted as he tried but failed to melt Oscar's brains with his eye lasers.
Oscar sighed.
Teddy started sniffing his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose. His rubbery nose quivered and twitched.
Oscar gurgled and blushed.
Teddy was sniffing his diaper intensely while holding a yogurt and spoon.
Oscar frowned and squeezed his nose.
"And now we return to Captain Space Heifer." said the TV.
Teddy cheered delighted.
Plot 2
Homer was hosing down the inside of the tool shed because of Grampa using it as an outhouse.
He sighed as he hosed out the mess. Use your imagination! Why do you think he's hosing it out?!
"I told you Dad, this is not an outhouse!" Homer ranted.
"It sure looked like one..." Abe sighed.
Billy was touching Grim's things again.
"I told you not to dig in me truck, I told you not to read me diary, and now you gone and taking things from the pockets of me own." said Grim.
Titans crash jabbered.
"Not now Crash! Okay who's the comedian who thought Grim should be the new voice of Aku Aku?!"
Oscar laughed while playing Crash of the Titans.
"I have discovered a way to recycle Butter!" said Coco.
"And now Coco sounds like Judy Shepherd if she was an eccentric scientist like Jimmy..." said Aku Aku Grim.
"I want super powers!" Billy asked.
"Why?!" Grim asked. "You wouldn't know what to do with them?!"
"I want to make people eat Heifer farms fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt!" Billy yelled.
Grim winced.
"And to be able to eat loads of Cream ah cakes-ah! Without being kept up all night by a sugar crash." said Billy eating what appeared to be pink cupcakes.
"Um maybe this something you should discuss with your dad..." Grim was exasperated.
"I can't." said Billy.
"Why?"
"He ate his brain again..." He's done this before?!
"Hmmmmph, dey say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree..." Grim sighed bemused.
Billy went off somewhere.
He ended up in other cartoons again. He found himself in Ben 10, the future set episode Ken 10. It is Ben's son's birthday.
"Wow! My dad is just a boring old dentist..." said Billy as an alien.
"Okay..." said Ken Tennyson. "Director... Why is Billy here..."
"Cameo... Later Cow and Chicken make a cameo.
"Is there pie at this party? I LIKE PIE!" said Billy.
"Billy you only had one line..." said Ken.
"Why?!" Billy as an alien yelled.
"I don't know!" Ken Tennyson replied.
...
Oscar and Teddy were revising for Springwarts homework. Ie turning frogs into princes etc.
"No Ted, there's not a spell for pie..." said Oscar.
Teddy whined.
"Wipes." Marge was changing Maggie.
"Eeeeeew!" Homer groaned.
"Talcum powder." said Marge.
"Here."
"And the dirty one goes in the diaper pail." Marge dropped the dirty diaper in the bin. A cartoony splat was heard.
"Whatcha doin'?" Teddy asked being obnoxious.
"For your information we're changing Maggie. Now if you're not gonna help..." Marge sighed as she taped a clean diaper upon Maggie.
"I'll help! I'll change this diaper tooo... a puppy!" He transformed a diaper into a wolverine with his magic wand.
Homer screamed as the wolverine mauled him.
"Ted that's a wolverine..." said Oscar.
"No. this is a wolverine." said Teddy. He summoned a walrus.
The walrus roared and zapped Oscar with lightning. "No! That's an electric walrus! Gaaaaaah!"
"Oops! Silly me!" said Teddy.
Oscar looked frazzled.
"Okay I'll try again. No, this is a wolverine." said Teddy waving his wand.
He summoned Wolverine from X Men. "Struth! This isn't Xavier Academy!" Wolverine yelled.
Oscar sighed.
Outside.
Bart and Lisa returned from saving the town as Stretchdude and Clobbergirl.
"Well that battle with Dr Colossus was weird... now to get my time stopping watch back from Bernard whom I don't get that reference as I don't watch British TV!" Bart ranted.
"It was originally a Twilight Zone reference Oz..." Lisa as Clobbergirl sighed.
"And then CITV made a show about a time stopping pocket watch..." said Oscar being silly.
Bart sighed.
"Oh and Teddy is annoying everyone over his favourite brand of yogurt." said Oscar.
"Eat Heifer Farms fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt! Or I'll melt you brains!" Teddy yelled.
Bart winced.
"It's partially hydrogenated..." said Oscar.
"QUIET YOU!" Teddy yelled.
...
A jungle, Cretaceous Park Island.
"The sounds of the thick jungle echoed and bounced off the various foliage that covered the secluded and very much off-limits island, nestled somewhere in the middle of some exotic sea; did it really matter which one? There was no civilization for hundreds if not thousands of miles and the little evidence left that there was once human life on this island was heavily hidden now by overgrowth and moss...and for good reason." McGee was um describing things for me, despite that's my job as narrator so you readers can imagine what's happening. In your head.
"Everyone probably left after your conquistadors killed everyone for not converting to your faith!" Ace snapped.
"I am just trying to save your souls!" McGee whined.
"Look Mop head! I am Zoroasthian! Jurkle is Jewish and that gloomy Indian kid from Indiana Jones 2 who hangs in the nerd tunnels in the school is Hindu!" Ace yelled.
The Indian nerd who I swear was in Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom grimaced.
"Sim sim alabim!" Inane Brian yelled at the Indian kid. Okay he might be the Indian kid from Johnny Quest too...
Quiffy winced at Inane Brian.
Okay so the toons were on a jungle island with dinosaurs and Richard Attenborough and Principal Skinner.
"Wait why is the principal here?!" Ace yelled.
"To write my film, Billy and the Cloneasaurus." said Skinner.
The Toons all glared at him exasperated.
"Care for a Steamed Ham? My own family recipe." said Skinner.
"These are Krusty Burgers! Now get out of the story!" Ace yelled.
"Everyone just chill..." Quiffy sighed drinking a coconut half mocktail, obviously not an actual cocktail as he is only a kid and can't have liquor yet.
"I am as you Americans say, chill! I dislike ze ridiculous cameos and McGoofus telling me what religion I should be!" Ace yelled.
"Shhhhh! There's dinosaurs on this island..." said Flame hushing him.
"Yeah like those ones that spit venom..." said Quiffy.
"Thank goodness Hugo's not with us. He'd probably blow a fuse about how that's not scientifically accurate..." said Flame.
"Yeah instead we've got Bible Boy..." Brian sighed as McGee was reading from a bible.
McGee sighed frustrated by their blasphemy.
They passed the T. rex containment. A fenced off area with electric fences and reinforced iron bars to keep a T. rex in.
A goat was lowered in.
"Oh no! Thou shall not eat any beast of the cloven hoof!" McGee whined.
"Amen!" Jurkle high fives him. "What? That's something we agree on.
"McGee even the Flanders don't restrict themselves on what meat they eat..." said Quiffy.
"Then they're living in sin..." said McGee frowning.
...
Simpsons house.
The Simpsons decided the best course of action to deal with Teddy's deranged antics was to give him super powers.
"Super powers!" Teddy the living teddy bear creature cheered.
"Super powers?" The Simpsons asked.
"You heard him Oz..." said Bart as Oscar created him.
"Yeah you heard him, Oz." Teddy smirked.
"But what would you do with super powers?" Oscar asked.
"Fight the evil empire..." said Teddy.
Oscar frowned an exasperated and squinting frown at the fourth wall.
"Worst Star Wars reference ever..." said Hugo.
"Well he would be gone for a long time." said Lisa.
"Well I'd miss him but I can see he's getting on everyone's nerves. Okay Teddy what powers." said Oscar asking Teddy.
"I want to be green..." said Teddy.
"Okay..." said Oscar.
"Spring green." Teddy corrected him.
"Uh huh..."
"And I wanna squeak! When I move about! Like when I move my arms about!"
"Squeak..." Oscar winced.
"Yes! Squeak!"
Bart face palmed.
"And I want a huge muscular body! For the ladies..." Teddy smirked under his breath.
Marge rolled her eyes.
"Is that all?" Oscar sighed.
"And I wanna shoot Heifers farm fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt out of my armpits!" Teddy screamed.
Bart was freaked out about Teddy's frankly disturbing super powers.
"Okay..." Oscar winced.
"And eye lasers that melt brains of blasphemers who won't eat Heifers farm fruit at the bottom all natural style yogurt!" Teddy yelled.
"Enough you spasticated furball!" Bart yelled.
"Bart! Do not use that word!" Oscar yelled. "Okay laser eyes..."
"And give him the ability to fly and breath in outer space." said Lisa.
"And done."
Oscar turned Teddy into a huge spring green muscular superhero.
Teddy laughed and wriggled his green fingers. They squeaked as every joint of his squeaked like he was made of rubber.
"Teddy stop goofing off..." Lisa sighed.
Teddy started walking about and squeaking from his muscles. He laughed while walking about.
Oscar smirked. "That is funny..."
"No it's not..." Bart groaned.
...
Cretaceous Park.
Carefully, I wandered through the bush, my machete cutting through the thick vines and twisted thorns as I blazed a trail behind me. McGee you don't need to narrate I'll describe things! I'm just a bit lazy sometimes.
So McGee has a machete and was cutting through the undergrowth.
"I say we should have stayed in the park jeeps..." said Inane Brian.
A branch swung back and smacked him in the face. Because that simply has to happen in cartoons when the characters are in a jungle.
Quiffy bit his own hand trying not to crack up laughing.
I felt my breathing becoming heavier... McGee narrated.
"Maybe he needs an asthma pump." said Jurkle.
"Nope, if God has cursed my bloodline's hubris with asthma I must suffer it. Allivating my suffering is to invoke the Lord's wrath." said McGee.
"You're an idiot..." Ace snapped at him.
... the feeling of something wanting to burst out from my chest at any given moment.
"Oh my god! Chestburster!" Oscar yelled.
"No Oz! Don't bend the story with Alien references..." Quiffy groaned.
Elsewhere Teddy was still walking about squeaking...
Teddy laughed as his joints squeaked.
"Uh Teddy... The evil empire..." said Lisa.
"Captain Spring green Squeaker reporting for duty!" said Teddy saluting.
"Hehehehe... dooty..." Oscar laughed.
"I'll be back soon kiddo! awaaaaay!" Teddy as a huge spring green super hero flew off into space.
Plot 3
On a seemingly lifeless and empty planet with no atmosphere. And craters and rocks everywhere.
Teddy arrived as a muscular and spring green super hero.
"Hello! Evil empire? Legion of Doom? Negative society? Threat to mankind..." Teddy lifted up a huge boulder.
There was a cute little alien. The boulder landed on him crushing him. Luckily he will back later.
"Hmmmm, no one's home..." Teddy pondered.
Yeah you landed on the wrong planet doofus...
"There's no one here... except THAT SMART MOUTHED NARRATOR! I HATE HIM!" Teddy yelled. Yeah keep bad mouthing me Teddy...
"There's only one thing to do... Unleash my yogurt!" He squirted strawberry yogurt out of his armpits.
The yogurt flooded the planet and drowned the cute little aliens.
"There's cute little aliens?! Let's be friends!" He said in a similar manner to the clowns in Billy's nightmare or the nerd in Destroy All Humans.
Billy who could somehow breath screamed in fear.
Teddy was baffled.
"Now for my secret weapon!" A compartment in his six pack opened up to reveal a cups of yogurt dispenser. He laughed and operated levers as he hurled little cups of yogurt everywhere.
"EAT MAH YOGURT!" He yelled.
He was then depressed again.
"Hmmmm..."
"Maybe the evil empire is tiny little creatures invisible to the naked eye!" said Billy.
"You mean germs?" said Teddy.
"The what now?!" said Billy.
Teddy face palmed.
Billy stared at a rock he tried to imagine microscopic creatures that were these things called germs but he still couldn't get his head round such a concept.
"Freemasons run the country!" said the germs.
Billy screamed and fled.
Teddy shrugged and continued squirting yogurt out of his armpits.
Then a cute little alien wanted his attention. It danced about.
Teddy didn't notice it.
The tiny alien tickled him with its head tendrils which may very well be some sort of ears.
Teddy giggled.
But he still didn't notice the tiny alien and continued flooding the planet with strawberry yogurt.
...
Cretaceous park.
McGee was describing things as he cut through the greenery. A branch smacked Brian in the face.
"Oof!"
And McGee suffered a chestburster.
"Gaaaaagh!" The blond Toon cried as an alien tore out of his chest.
"Luckily I'm a toon so this doesn't kill me."
The chestburster hissed and slithered away.
Suddeny the Toons heard a growl and a velociraptor peaked out from the shrubs to their left.
"Um Clever girl?" McGee gulped.
"Omg! Dat Jurassic Park reference..." said Brian.
The dinosaur chased them.
"Time to run like the Dickens! Aaaaaagh!" McGee screamed.
Then he argued with Quiffy trying to save his soul.
Quiffy, a brown haired toon with a big quiff was exploring a jungle and hacking through the vines with a machete.
McGee, a blond haired boy toon with a bulbous nose wearing a safari outfit and pith helmet was reading the bible.
Quiffy sighed.
"I'm trying to save your soul, heathen..." said McGee.
"I don't need saving by your medieval and bossy faith!" Quiffy frowned. McGee sighed. "Oh Heavenly Father..."
"Oh Flying Spaghetti Monster... praise the meatballs. Give us our daily garlic bread..." Quiffy prayed to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
McGee frowned. "Do you hear how stupid you sound..."
"Not as stupid as a kid praying to an imaginary and angry sky person who demands we follow strict medieval practices like no meat on Fridays... No shrimp cocktails..."
McGee frowned.
"Uh guys the dinosaur..." said Ace as the dinosaur was chasing the toons.
They navigated back to the Jeep. It has one of those the engine is flooded right now at a really bad moment, uh moments.
"Start you stupid thing! We're gonna die!" Ace yelled.
"What would even happen if a Toon got mauled before being eaten? I've been vored before..." said Brian.
Quiffy winced in disgust.
Then it rained pies...
"Oz don't bend the story..." Quiffy groaned.
Cool your jets Quiffy...
"Okay... so there's method to your madness..." Quiffy sighed.
"There's a reason it's raining pastries and pies..." McGee grimaced as pies rained down. One landed on his head with a splat.
"Madness..." Oscar rasped.
"Oh no..." Quiffy groaned.
"What?" Flame asked.
"THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAH!" Oscar yelled.