The stars twinkled silently, and an idea occurred to him. Behind that starry sky, there is actually nothing. Everything floats in a fake world, and the sky is an illusion created by the mind. They fell where no one could see them, burned up in the vacuum, and turned into specks of light.
Then? Nothing is left.
Chapter Five: Scars
"Hey..." Walking under the shadow of the trees in the morning light, Backup bumped into the red-haired boy at the base of the wall. The other person was wearing a jacket and board shorts, standing casually.
Pretend not to see him and prepare to walk over.
"Come to think of it, you never told me your name," the kid said. Even if he was glared at, he was not afraid. Instead, he laughed teasingly, "Weren't you locked up today?"
"..." L also knew that a mere anti-theft window or a lock could not trap him.
"You're just hanging out here because you're bored. I'm tired of playing games," he said. "There's not much you can do in Freedom House. Do you want to come with me?"
Together - together with what?
"I think you are trying to imitate L's 'keep away from strangers' aura. You can't make friends this way."
Not needed.
His noise finally caught B's attention. Does he have an ulterior motive for doing this? Generally speaking, no one will take the initiative to talk to B.
"Are you looking for a beating?" B warned, although in the eyes of the other party, he looked like a puppy that bared its teeth and barked when it was extremely angry.
"In terms of being lonely, you are indeed not inferior to L," he said thoughtfully, "Well, you admire him, so do you want to know more about him? I have information about L."
"I'm not interested in him!"
"I can fully understand your mood. Taking the initiative to ask me about L will make you feel vulnerable. You have always maintained an attitude of not paying attention to anyone. Aren't you just imitating L's character? This is the so-called 'pursuit' 'ah."
This guy's words are really annoying. Especially the kind of tone that pretends to understand and is self-righteous.
B frowned, but moved closer to him, like approaching prey. "...What do you want to say?"
"You are indeed interested." The child spread his hands and smiled heartily.
He said jokingly: "After I tell you the information, you must not only tell me your name, but also call me by my name properly."
"make a deal."
"This isn't a deal..." He sighed, but didn't pursue it.
The red-haired boy patted the grass beside him and asked B to sit down. B didn't sit down, but stood under the shade of a lush tree, with his arms folded across his chest, looking at him leisurely.
"L escaped from the orphanage," he said. "L has been in orphanages in various countries, but due to personality problems, he would be 'expelled' every time he stayed for a period of time. Therefore, he has never been adopted."... As you can imagine. "It is said that no matter where he goes, he will make others angry, but if any child dares to teach him a lesson on the spot, he will be beaten to death. As time goes by, no one dares to approach him. On the contrary, L is enjoying himself and does not Beset by those rumors."
"...I was once in the same asylum as him. After staying in Wilburg, Germany for about three months, as expected, L was issued a 'transfer notice' - that is, this hospital will no longer accept him. means. At that time, he met all the conditions for a problem child. He did not participate in activities and did not obey the arrangements. He contradicted the teacher and accused the learning there of being "inefficient, useless and full of loopholes". He complained that the collection of books was too few, but he never Not given a chance... This is also true. However, you can imagine that the principal, whom he called an imbecile, has lost his mind in anger. He has no intention of paying attention to the special situation of each child, let alone Recognizing L's immense talents—always wasted in juvenile books, daily trivial matters, and classes that are not in line with his knowledge level."
Cha la la... B laughed. He could almost see the close-up of L's classroom being overturned and the children scattering like birds and beasts, because L was unreasonable...just like when he first met him.
"L is a freak. What awaits freaks is people's prejudice, malice and indifference. L said that he was not given a chance, which he was right about." The child's expression became serious, "Just imagine, How do you prove that you are a genius among the dull mob? Children of the same age, and even adult teachers, cannot understand the height of his intelligence. He is considered a weird child who is partial to science, because he is familiar with many languages, but has He has no interest in literature or astronomy. He only learns what is practical to him, that is, the knowledge needed to become a detective. Adults are wary of knowledge about blood, violence and human nature. They not only see a precocious child , he is still a child who is disobedient to discipline, verbally abusive, has a bad personality, and may become a criminal."
"So L escaped from there and was freed. He formed the 'Freedom House'... I think this name refers to his own freedom and the freedom to help him realize his ideals without being disturbed. environment. I don't know how he came up with the money to build it."
"Isn't L the illegitimate son of some tycoon?"
"That way, there's no need to go into an orphanage in the first place. With money, L can go wherever he wants without being stuck in a small place like Los Angeles. He doesn't have enough money. There's another important thing Thing—you know he wants to be a detective."
B did not take over. He once thought that L's ideal was only told to him, so he felt a bit of sour dissatisfaction, or in other words, a sense of loss towards the red-haired boy in front of him.
"Well..." The conversation stopped strangely. The other person gave him a sidelong glance, as if to imply something, and only then did Backup realize that he was expected to fill in the blank.
"Then you also escaped from...the asylum in Germany." B said.
So the boy smiled with satisfaction, as if he was waiting for him to ask this question. The weirdo he was attracted to didn't lack social common sense, but was too lazy to practice them, just like L. He said easily:
"I was just as disappointed with the place as L, because they set entertainment hours and didn't allow me to play games overtime. I couldn't bear it anymore, so I hacked their system, tampered with my registration identity, and sneaked out openly from the front. "
"...L's story is different. Due to his frequent violations and violent records, the shelter had long wanted to send him away. One day he walked into the dean's office and ridiculed the dean. .'Get out of here!' the dean yelled. He said, 'I did get your permission'...and just left. He also walked through the main entrance. No one dared to stop him."
"Cha la la! Cha la la la!"
"... As for why we weren't tracked, it's very simple. I know a little about computer technology, hacked into the local transportation system, and deleted the surveillance videos showing our whereabouts. Just in case, I created Several fake identities and forged credit cards. The facts show that they lack the ability to track us, and they do not have the heart."
The red-haired boy scratched the hair on the back of his head and said this without much pride. "We went to France, England, and finally ended up in Los Angeles... By this time the police had long given up on the search."
Who cares where the orphans go?
B said: "You and L act together." What he really wants to say is that you know L very well.
"It's not like that. L doesn't care how many people are traveling with him. Including the Freedom House, those who are willing to stay will stay. He is not forcing anyone." The boy said. He said this without showing off, without the arrogance of a genius, but in a matter-of-fact tone describing interesting things on the way to "escape". Not only is he indifferent to people and things that he is not interested in, he will even deliberately control himself to forget them.
"The world is very boring to me. Not just the world, but most people and things. But L... is very interesting and I never tire of it. I can't say I know him well enough to follow him here." I just wanted to observe him up close."
"Isn't it to defeat him?"
"No..." the boy shrugged, "I care more about the nature of freaks - or geniuses - than boring wins and losses. I want to understand these... them Where do their talents come from? What is special about them? What do they pursue? Like this... I have been studying L for a long time and continuously with the same enthusiasm as studying the virtual world of games. "
"...I don't need to be his companion, his friend. Because if you get too close, you can't understand him."
"..."
B briefly recalled the crazy underwater game. It was an experiment, wasn't it? Not to win, but to find out the essence of L. So, what did he find...
"Do you understand him?"
"Not yet. Far away. I will keep working hard." The child said, the serious expression faded, and he laughed easily again: "Because I am also a freak... This is necessary: understand why certain Their personalities are disliked by others, they understand why talents lead to difficulties in communication, and they understand their delicate yet strong hearts... When I understand these things, I won't have to live alone in this world anymore."
A throbbing pain caused B to grab the hair beside his ear and pull it down. Why does he become so restless and agitated when he hears that word... Maybe it's because B thinks that a real freak won't say outright that he is a freak. That overly frank attitude aroused disgust somewhere in his heart, and he felt that that careless face was despicable.
"...Don't you think so?" the kid said. "I see you're a loner too. Don't you want to know how freaks and freaks become friends?"
Backup's eyes dimmed, and the next second, he stared at him, as if he wanted to tear the latter apart, pressed his body over, punched the wall next to his ear, and clenched the other fist, hanging up in the air.
"...how?"
"Aren't you afraid of my eyes?"
"What?"
"They're bright red. They're not normal. They're from Death." B whispered, almost like a roar.
—It's really weird to talk about understanding freaks. There has never been such a strange person. Because everyone who met these eyes looked at B so deeply, as if looking at a monster.
Because B is a monster—not a freak—that cannot be understood.
The boy's eyes widened slightly, probably intimidated by his aura. Yes, monster...B wants to hear such words. Only in this way can he relieve the pain in his heart and relieve his anxiety.
But...but the child blinked and asked blankly:
"Aren't those contact lenses?"
"...Huh?" Even B was stunned.
"Albinism and blood leaking into the iris." He spat out an academic term. "This is a genetic defect, but it is not a disease. It is not such a serious illness for you."
"Cha la la!"
"It's okay. You can eat more carrots to increase melanin secretion. The color of your iris will be darker," he said seriously, "Or maybe you can try wearing a layer of black contact lenses?"
"..."
This guy is out of his mind. People who often hang out with L - no, who observe L all year round - will probably end up like this. Is the red color due to lack of pigment?
With a confused look on his face, B withdrew his fist against him. The child laughed heartily, "Haha! Hahahaha!"
"...Ahem, I was joking. Sorry, sorry, seeing how serious you look, I couldn't help but say that." He touched his auburn bangs to smooth them out in the wind. He looked at Backup provocatively, seemingly amused by the latter's horrified expression. "Some things you think are very important are actually not that important. If you look carefully, your eye color is not so abnormal... Why do you look like you want to kill someone?"
All the muscles in B's body were tense, and sparks shot out of his eyes, as if he had been greatly stimulated. Not important...?
So the curse, the god of death, the fate, the red countdown, aren't they important?
So death, death, death and death…
The red-haired boy pondered and said, "Doesn't the color of your eyes make you a freak?"
"It's not like that."
B said coldly.
"That's the consciousness of 'I'm different from others.'" He said as if he had insight into the essence. "When you believe that you are not accepted by others because of your different appearance, you will silently push others away. "
"wrong."
He kept talking as if he didn't notice the anger in B's eyes. The string called endurance in B's heart was thus broken.
"Since red eyes are normal, what about this one?"
Backup casually pulled out a knife from the clothes on his back.
"—Huh—" the child gasped, "Where did that thing come from?!"
"It was taken from L's room. In fact, L ordered me to take it with me."
"...I don't think L has taught you etiquette. Others have told you that weapons cannot be pointed at people, let alone pointed with the tip of the knife. Nor can they point at vital points!" The knife in B's hand was slashed in the air. Move, sometimes pointing to his carotid artery, sometimes pointing to his heart, "Hurry up and put it down!"
"Is it your turn to preach to me?" B smiled viciously.
"Okay, okay, I surrender! Put that murder weapon down quickly."
With a sneer on his lips, B lowered the tip of the knife a little, no longer pointing it at the vital point, but did not put it down.
The child looked very distressed.
"You are pretending to be scary, but you are actually just like a child crying in front of an adult, or a puppy barking desperately in front of a big dog. You are bluffing." B's facial muscles twitched... ..."Do you have to be afraid of you to be satisfied? What's the difference between that and trying to please everyone?'
Ah, I really want to kill him.
"I have no intention of going against you. I simply feel that this attitude to life is too tiring, so I am giving you advice. To be honest, Freedom House without L is too boring, and I am almost tired of life here - -You want to challenge me, but you can provide me with rare stimulation. I can't get enough of stimulation." The child's eyes flickered.
madman...
"Stay away from me," B frowned and stepped back. He smelled a scent similar to L's on this child, which might be the temperament known as a freak. He should have avoided it, but instead of being uneasy, he felt comforted by finding someone who wanted to be like him.
"You came up on your own."
"If," he whispered, "I was a real murderer, would you still say such things?"
The child's expression became as if he was watching a murderer. It was a pure analytical and probing gaze that made B's whole body shiver. Why...can you stay so calm? Just like L...
"Then you are as interesting as L. I rely on people like you to pass my free time. I will try to understand you," he said easily.
"I don't want it." Backup stared at him warily and made a stabbing motion in the air, "I will kill you."
"Here we go again, B likes to scare people."
"So you know my name." He said fiercely, "You lied to me."
"Freaks all lie..." the child said helplessly and sighed. "This is the only place where research is valuable...right? It would be great if we could all gather here, because the world is not a home of freaks, but full of ordinary, simple, and boring human beings!"
B slowly inserted the knife back into the gap between his belt and his skin. When he stood, he could still feel the thin blade against his back. Weird, so weird. First it was L, and now there is another person here who is not afraid of him. This is unprecedented. The boy embarked on a path to find the world to accept weirdos, while B chose a path that was rejected by the whole world. So, they are fundamentally different.
"You just said that you can't understand if you get too close."
"Only for L. According to my observation, no one can draw a clear boundary between himself and 'human beings' like him. He refuses to have contact with others from the bottom of his heart. This may not be the case for others."
Then it's the same for me...I don't feel like a human being, and I don't want anything to do with them. I...am the Grim Reaper.
Whenever B stares into his eyes in the mirror, he will have this thought.
Do freaks really need friendship?
The wind rustled the grass. The red-haired boy held onto the grass and pressed his hands on the needle-shaped leaves, not afraid of being stabbed at all. Backup did not sit next to him, but stood one meter away under the gloomy gloom. He found that the other party accepted everything not with sadness or joy, but with complete calmness, including the characteristics that were different from ordinary people, including the curse of being a genius, including the loneliness that he could not get rid of without working hard. He had to work hard for this. ? B said nothing.
The malice in his red eyes has weakened a lot. Although this person is annoying, he is not an enemy. He didn't come to the Free House to make friends, but if this person knew one or two of L's weaknesses, he could take advantage of this and take revenge on L. He pretended to be casual and mentioned:
"I have to leave in three days. Because L said I can only stay..."
Before he could finish speaking, the red-haired boy put his index finger in front of his lips, "Shh. L is here."
They acted in unison, hiding behind the shadows, and saw L walking out of the front door and heading towards an overly luxurious private car equipped with bodyguards.
"...Do you have any idea about that car?"
B asked quietly.
"I don't know." said the child. "The cars that come to pick up L recently are all very stylish."
"Case? Police? Politicians?"
"Not enough clues."
"Then, just chase him..." B said with narrowed eyes, "Let's follow him to find out."
"It's impossible. A person like L is so private. It's impossible for others to know his whereabouts. And how can he keep up with that car?"
"Lend me your skateboard."
"Hey! - Hey wait, B! Oh..."
Before he finished speaking, the skateboard was snatched away.
"I'll give it back to you. If I can't find L, I'll be right back."
"...You really don't listen to advice."
He wore a helpless smile, but B thought it was an indifferent smile, so he didn't feel guilty about it.
"My name is M," the red-haired boy said suddenly, "Matt, my real name. I think there is no need to hide it...remember B. You promised - well, accepted my condition."
"Yes. My name is...B-e-y..." Backup paused. "Backup Birthday, that's my real name too."
He lied, but he had to do it. Because Matt never needs to know the truth. When Matt thought carefully about this weird name, Backup jumped on the skateboard and sped away in the direction L left.
It was impossible to catch up with the car. Fortunately, as soon as we exit Skidrow, the traffic becomes congested and the traffic slows down. In order not to be recognized, B was separated by more than a street.
The wind whistled in his ears. Sliding down the slope, the daily city scene appeared. After a few days, those tall buildings and hurried pedestrians have become unfamiliar. The cramped life of the city enveloped him like wet rain, and he couldn't get rid of it.
Backup jumps off the skateboard and walks instead. He had never tried skateboarding before, but he was very familiar with it the first time. Thanks to his agile limbs and excellent sense of balance, he could pick up any sport quickly. When he was a child, he would ride a unicycle and drive it like this, running on country roads full of wild flowers, attracting sideways glances from pedestrians along the road. He was called a "red-eyed monster" by children passing by... But that was another story. A story.
It was just after noon, the sky was dark and it could rain at any time. L got out of the car, and a bodyguard held an umbrella for him. The black umbrella covered half of his face. Backup quietly got behind the green mailbox, and it was covered by the box as tall as him. The first drop of rain fell on his forehead, and intensified into a slapping rain on the bridge of his nose, falling from the low sky.
L walked towards the high-end apartment alone. Two glass doors opened for him, but the metallic and black-and-white decoration behind them seemed to come from another world, a world that was very different from the red brick spire house and belonged to the powerful.
There was a puddle under Backup's feet, reflecting the gray sky. He squatted down, and a pair of scarlet eyes were reflected in the nearly black water, but no one noticed his ominous appearance. The pedestrians seemed not to see him. Walking quickly, he has become the landscape, integrated with the rectangular box...
Twenty minutes later, L walked out of the front door with a bag containing desserts in his hand.
As L broke into more houses, the number of bags increased. He received so many gifts that he had to hold them with both hands or even sling them on his shoulders. L's already rickety body was pressed lower. He trampled on the rain bouncing on the ground, and walked quickly to the next destination without hesitation and rubbing shoulders with pedestrians.
Backup—This flaxen-haired boy is like his shadow, stepping on the puddles that L stepped on, walking past the places where L walked, and running under the slightly turbid and low sky. He was separated from the world, running around with limbs as nimble as a cat, chasing the back of the young man, even forgetting the color of his own eyes.
With his clothes pressed tightly, his hair hanging softly around his ears, and no blood on his body, he indeed looked no different from the 9-year-old kid next door. As long as he changed his clothes and ignored the abnormalities that were no longer important.
Backup can also be normalized, after ignoring the color of your own eyes.
...When L came out of the fourth apartment, his face became paler. In the humid air, the color looked so white that it was almost transparent. He stood next to a man, who held his waist with one hand and put his other hand on his hip.
L didn't move away. B watched his lips move a few times - I don't know if it was a word of rejection - but their distance was still close. It wasn't until the man laughed and let go that he changed from the state of "not being able to move". He seemed to be awake and moved slowly. They say goodbye.
L picked up the gift boxes and walked slowly deeper into the street. His back didn't straighten up for a long time, and the pouring rain kept dripping from the ends of his hair, the tip of his nose, and his chin.
The last house is a single-family villa with a beautiful, neatly manicured front yard, neat fence, and a black iron gate. A well-dressed woman was already waiting for him behind the fence. She waved to him with restrained enthusiasm, as if she was happy to see a long-time friend return, and then she hugged him deeply.
L didn't push away. His pale face seemed to be undergoing some kind of suffering, especially when the woman hugged her tighter, his head pressed against her chest, showing a kind of indifference that was different from being at a loss and transcending the world. However, when their eyes met, L smiled softly - Backup had never seen him smile in this way.
They had a conversation, but he couldn't hear clearly the content of the conversation, let alone the identity of the woman.
Sometimes their relationship is like friends, sometimes like mother and son, and sometimes... The woman wiped the rain from the black-haired boy's face, her movements were so natural, but the latter endured it without saying a word, a strong emotion in Fear and sourness gathered in B's chest - L was obviously so resistant to physical contact... L followed her into the villa, and when B was about to lose the sense of time, they walked out together. The woman handed him a pile of neatly folded white shirts and put them in a gift bag that L could no longer hold. When asked if he wanted an umbrella, L shook his head.
So she put a trench coat on him. That heavy and frizzy brown coat has always seemed to B to be very old-fashioned, like something a detective from the last century would wear while smoking a pipe. It was definitely not the style L wanted. Now she held up the sleeves on both sides and asked him to put his arms in them. She smoothed out the wrinkles on her shoulders and neck, bent down, buttoned the buttons for him carefully, and finally deftly put her handle into her pocket and stuffed an envelope.
L put his hands into the same pocket and nodded towards her. He left wearing this windbreaker, his steps were steady and well-proportioned, and his back changed from straight to slightly stooped. At some point, a black car parked outside Heizhamen. The bodyguards who had disappeared came back. They strode towards him, took the gift box, opened the car door... L got in.
The car started driving smoothly and passed the big tree where B was hiding in the front yard. The boy's body was half-shrunk behind the tree trunk, his eyes wide and round, and he stared blankly at the car carrying L driving further and further away. His hands were still tightly pressed against and grasping the rough bark, like grasping the last straw. He was too shocked to care whether L had discovered his following, and caught a glimpse of the flaxen-haired boy's expression flashing past the tree trunk.
...
After L left, B set up his skateboard and walked back to Skidrow disappointed and exhausted.
He could have run away now, saying goodbye to the red brick house in the slums and the experience of going to Freedom House. The strange thing is that after witnessing those scenes, Backup felt infinite curiosity in his heart, a strong desire to explore the nature of L, similar to what Matt said.
That's the other side of L... isn't it? In his mind, L was that wild, unruly and strange child. But why did L behave like that in front of those people, and why could he tolerate being touched and hugged by others? That scene kept replaying in B's mind like a video tape, so profound that it almost caused pain, leaving him shocked and confused - what on earth was L doing outside? What does he have to do with those who appear to be wealthy?
Returning to Freedom House with many doubts, B found that the light on the second floor was bright. The light made people feel warm and familiar, but at the same time, it was scary.
He suddenly didn't know how to face L.
Pretending to be nonchalant, he put the skateboard against the wall and turned the handle of the door - only to find that it was locked. It was getting late, but every inch of grass here exuded the smell that refused him entry. B stood there with a sullen face for a long time, and finally gave up the idea of breaking the door open or cutting it in half.
"I thought you wouldn't come back."
L said. Wearing a white shirt and jeans, he looked at B through the window.
"Stop talking nonsense, open the window quickly!"
L slowly opened the windows one by one - first the transparent layer, then the screen, and finally the anti-theft lock, letting the wet flaxen head get in first. B's arms hugged the tree trunk tightly, hanging on the tree like a koala, about six meters above the ground, where he would be shattered into pieces if he fell... Even L couldn't help but look in admiration.
"Thank you for climbing up."
"Shut up. You locked the door, you bastard," B forced out a mocking smile, "You did it on purpose."
"Yeah." I don't know if it was because of exhaustion, but L just hummed. He grabbed B's hand and pulled him in. Due to their weight, the two fell to the ground together, but Backup quickly bounced up like a spring.
"Don't you ask me where I went?"
"As I said before, B can leave whenever he wants." L said plainly.
"That's three days from now. To be honest, I could stay here forever," B said, "but you won't let me."
"..."
"I left your knife on the lawn. Because I was wearing it, I couldn't climb the tree." "Knife?" L looked at him blankly.
"Have you forgotten? Forget it, it's not important anymore..." B said. He didn't expect L to remember, because L was indifferent to everything about him - but if he really didn't care, he wouldn't take B to the roof or pull B into this room. L is very contradictory, L's sincerity and the flow of water are generally difficult to fathom. B looked at him steadily and suddenly frowned.
He smelled a smell that didn't belong to L, a rich and dry floral scent like a sachet. L should smell like pine trees in winter, with a cold herbal aroma, which is completely different from this pungent smell. B could tell from the alcoholic tail note that it was a woman's perfume.
"Where did you go today?"
L stared absently into the air;
"where did you go?"
Backup's eyes wandered between his dry black hair, collarbone and closed lips, and gradually found a decadent and erotic feeling in this immature boy's body that he had never seen before. breath. He had never observed L in this way, but after the experience of tracking, he inevitably... Every time he saw L, he thought of the gloomy rain, the touch of a man, the hug of a woman, and L's The pale face, the arms carrying the gifts, the shapely, wet body. The way he looked at L became strange.
L can't notice the subtle difference, because B's red eyes are always fierce,
"You answer," - despite this, he already knew that L would not answer. This silence expressed a clear meaning, that is, Backup should not ask what he did not want to answer - but B could not tell the difference at all! The boy stared at him fiercely, and suddenly, his peripheral vision caught something on the table.
An envelope. —That envelope!
It was bulging and placed in the middle of the table. Backup pounced on it like a vicious tiger, grabbed it, and tore it apart.
A wad of dollar bills fell from it.
It looked like an ink stain on white paper, like a footprint on the wall, or like a fly on the wall of a jam cup. Backup stared at it closely, as if he wanted to burn a hole in it. This is what she gave him, this is what they gave him...
"Is this what you do outside?" he asked softly, and then his voice became louder and shriller, and he yelled, "Is this how you make money?!"
If B wants to crush the money, it is best to burn it to ashes. Matt's words echoed in his mind again: He formed Freedom House...he was an orphan, and no one knew where the money came from...the money...
"No." L said with a frown.
He had no intention of backing down. Even if Backup hits him, he will just struggle with him.
"I didn't even blame you for following me," L's tone was cold. "Besides, my affairs have nothing to do with you."
B did not struggle with him, nor did he intend to do so. He threw the banknotes worth several months for an ordinary white-collar worker to the ground and stepped on them. As he stepped on it, he let out a low roar, as if he had completely lost his mind.
"Why are you crazy?" L shouted and ran over.
The boy didn't get the chance to destroy the money, so he was knocked down by L and pinned to the ground. He raised his knees and prepared to kick L's lower body, but was suppressed by L's weight - this advantage becomes particularly obvious when there is an age difference - the boy's hand was pressed against his. B always wanted to kick him a few times, but L had no choice but to punch him a few times. "Quiet B," he said, "you are too excited."
And the boy saw the abyss in those dead black eyes. That was the abyss where monsters like L lived, and it was also the abyss that L pulled others into. He fell there, to a desert and cold place without emotion, morality, and echo.
"You misunderstood," L pursed his lips and said coldly, "Things are not what you think."
"Get the hell out of here, L! Don't think I don't understand," he struggled and twisted desperately, "Don't think I don't understand! I know you want to be a detective, but what's the reason for you to go to so many houses in one day? You Is it a salesperson, and you tell them how pathetic you are, and you get a consolation payment? Or do you go do something else, which takes more than half an hour at a time, and what do you do? Why did they do that to you? That's not the L I know, because L is—"
yes...?
B's voice stopped suddenly. His face flushed red, and his eyes were so red that they looked like they were about to burst out with sparks, but he was stunned at this most critical moment, as if a fish bone was stuck in his throat. L... What is it like?
Was what he saw was L's true appearance? Is that the essence of L, a wild, arrogant, and unreasonable orphan?
Who can observe the real L? Can you see it with these eyes?
The young man looked at him with heavy and deep eyes. At this moment, B realized that he was so strange to him. Apart from his different appearance and strange sitting posture, he knew nothing about him at all.
B let out a cry of pain as L's fist hit him in the eye. He subconsciously protected them, but the expected pain did not come. Carefully, B exposed a crack between his crossed arms and peered into L through the crack.
L said: "Extra pay for being a detective."
"...What?"
"I help them answer questions," L said, "and occasionally take on some odd jobs. Just like consulting detectives, they can't avoid looking for cats and dogs, taking secret photos and running errands. At first, I had to do it. Later, they preferred it to my services. My people. I feel a lot more relaxed."
B looked at him in confusion and surprise.
"I hope your precocity is not only reflected in the psychological level, but also in the intellectual level, B." L said, "You should know the concept of social class solidification."
B smiled strangely. "A loser will always be a loser."
"That's about it." After confirming that the boy's attention had been diverted and he was much quieter, L let go of him. "Then you can understand how difficult it is for me to achieve my dream."
"...Because no one believes me. There is no asylum, which likes children with strong personalities; there is no school, which accepts children whose parents are blank; there is no police station, which needs detectives who lack educational experience; there is no company, An institution, an organization, any..." he paused, "anywhere, give me the qualifications and listen to my words."
"..."
"Does B think it's funny too?"
The smile frozen on Backup's lips seemed to be mocking him. L slowly got up. The cold aura on his body had not dissipated, but it was no longer like ice that had not melted. Instead, it had the tendency of gradually collapsing, revealing what had been hidden and buried to the surface.
"I once paid the price for my willfulness." He said quietly, "At that time, I didn't care at all. This world and other people are indifferent. Those who hate it will be defeated, and those who provoke will be thrown down. , So far, I have not lost even a single duel."
"..."
"Suddenly one day, I was tired again. Maybe it was all the repetitive trivial things that made me bored, maybe life is like this. Freedom alone is not enough," he said, "I need something else."
Beyond winning and losing.
"That thing doesn't make me bored, and it forces me to pursue it all the time. Sacrifice, so to speak. I sacrifice for it. I need money, fame, qualifications, need," he seemed to be saying to himself Speaking to the air like a cog, "Get rid of this boredom."
Backup stared at him without blinking, and L stared back expressionlessly.
The feeling of boredom... what does it feel like, like B does to the numbers above the human head? Just like B towards the moving city, people's chattering, and the sun that rises every day, with this mood in mind, he stood on the dirty loess of the slum, carrying a hemp rope, and looked towards the painting with The building with the red X is gone.
"...Did you just tell me this?" The boy asked after a long silence. His voice was muffled, trying to hide that he didn't really want to know the answer. In fact, he wanted to hear the answer almost to death.
L rubbed the fabric of his arm. "Matt basically knows."
Sure enough... L might even have expected that Matt would approach him. Backup is still a little disappointed because he is not the only one. Then, he began to think about what L said. Sacrifice...sacrifice for that thing. dream?
The world's best detective. Although Backup can't say what's good about this, most people can't afford this position. If he were to be him, would L become a different L? Why does it have to be a detective instead of a politician, a boss, a scientist, a doctor? There is not just one way to gain power and money. There must be something that makes L obsessed with detectives...it has to be detectives.
Following L's pupils, B saw himself. His red eyes flashed dangerously, and his soft face revealed a chilling weirdness, because he was smiling, his lips parted, but his eye muscles remained motionless. It was a standard fake smile and he had no trouble maintaining it. After seeing the scarlet color, B thought...danger and excitement may be what L is looking for. The difference between detectives and other professions is that there are criminals involved, psychological abnormalities and people like him... criminals.
"L..." he said, "I wasn't laughing at you just now." He adjusted his smile to make it gentler. "I'm not very good at laughing and I can't figure out how to laugh, but I don't mean it. This is my normal expression."
"I know."
"Criminals... are attracting you? So you want to be a detective," swooping toward the hot crime like a fly attracted by flames. "I...didn't expect you to say this. Didn't expect you to tell me," he said with difficulty, swallowing, "your dream."
Does that mean L trusts B? L also told Matt the same thing, but B is different from Matt. B is a freak, but he doesn't know how to adapt. He would rather be hated by everyone than loved by others. L has no reason to talk about his experiences or dreams, especially with B. Does he have an ulterior motive? The rooftop conversation felt like an impromptu speech. What now? L could have beaten him up and kicked him out of the door. He could have stopped holding B's hand that came in from the window. He could have...but L still grabbed him and pulled him in. He is not dispensable. At least, in those few minutes just now, he was no longer dispensable to L. B's orbicularis oculi muscle began to contract, and the corners of his mouth rose, revealing a smile that he didn't even know was silly.
"..." L had long been accustomed to the way he smiled and looked away from his red eyeballs. He silently picked up the money that fell on the floor, took back the envelope, and inserted it back into the gap in the cabinet.
"You don't have much time, B," he said. B's heart trembled suddenly. He seemed to hear the bell ringing before death, so ominous. He stared closely at L, who indifferently pulled up the sheets and lay down on the tatami, as if nothing had happened.
"L," Backup asked softly through gritted teeth, "do you have to drive me away in three days?"
"depends on you."
Depends on me? "If I told you that I don't have a home anymore... contrary to your reasoning, I had one but don't have one anymore. Freedom House is my only home, you would still... .Drive me away?"
"You know what you did, Backup."
After L said this, he wrapped himself in a quilt. A bone-chilling tremor spread throughout B's body, and all the blood in his body rushed to his brain, and he heard the huge buzz of the death knell striking on the eardrum.
—L got it.
This is not surprising. There was no cover-up in the first place.
—L got it.
This is the ending that B expects, the ending that B longs for.
L knows... When did he know it, where did he know it, and how much did he know? It's still a mystery. B's fingers closed and unclenched, as if grabbing a knife in the void, or squeezing L's slender neck. After he pretended to fall asleep that day, the sound of the news that L turned on the TV was still in his ears, clearly the same as the death knell. The sound rang together.
—"A gas explosion occurred in a residence in Los Angeles, and the bodies of two people were found. The deceased were a husband and wife..."
—"The couple had a pair of children who disappeared after the accident. 7-year-old Ellina Braidley has been confirmed dead, and 9-year-old Beyond Birthday has been missing for more than 24 hours. Please call the Los Angeles police or send a witness message to xxx-xxx- xxxx..."
Backup woke up from his dream and found that the darkness was so thick. He was still in shock and couldn't recover...L obviously gave me the pills. he thinks.
The pink pill helped him fall asleep quickly and fall into a dreamless sleep the past few nights.
Now, he was immersed in the nightmare just now, and was shocked into a cold sweat. B straightened up carefully and looked to the side.
The boy's porcelain-white face was half-hidden in the quilt, and even his unkempt hair had been tamed and fell on his forehead and tatami mats. His body was curled up, his eyes were closed, and his eyelashes were not trembling - he was in deep sleep.
I see. The monster's body became resistant to the drug.
As the confusion of waking up disappeared, B's red eyes became brighter and more ghostly in the darkness. His limbs were weak, but his brain was extremely clear, and he could even recall every detail of the nightmare just now. A dream as brilliant as a kaleidoscope and extremely strange: he dreamed of a man holding a bat, walking step by step towards the girl on the bed; he dreamed of blood and heard the sound of broken bones; he dreamed of a knife, sharp and scratching on the bed. A sound like a blackboard; he dreamed of distorted faces, car accident scenes, murder scenes, the numbers and red on people's heads were twisted into a ball; he smelled the smell of burnt skin, and saw drops of blood dripping from his body. Blood into buckets.
He dreamed of L, how the black-haired boy twisted his waist under the man and opened his mouth to scream. The hands covering his body and moving on his chest were mixed with the quaint smell of women's perfume. Together, they merged into the blush on L's cheeks, the sweat seeping out of his lithe body, and an expression that L—the cold and indifferent L he was familiar with—would never show.
Sacrifice...is that how L gets those extra rewards? Is that a dream he would rather exchange his body for?
With the help of various books and childhood family situations, Backup is very familiar with these scenes.
What made him uncomfortable was that those obscene scenes were so inconsistent with the peaceful sleeping face of L he was witnessing; he had never seen L in this way, when L was sitting on the mountain of garbage, sitting closest to the sky. Not when L hit him or talked to him, not when L was walking slowly on the rainy urban streets or running between private houses, not when the wad of bills fell...not when L fell.
B is aroused by this. But instead of being happy about it, a deep sadness surged into his heart, making him want to scream.
A perfect L, an undefeated L, an L who beats up anyone mercilessly if he doesn't like it. That's the real L, isn't it?
Not the compromised, weak, downcast L who said he was "never given the qualifications."
Damn, he did it on purpose. Those words greatly shaken B and played with B's heart. As a result, the originally simple game became complicated, and the originally pure duel became mixed with emotions.
—L got it.
He should have known, because Backup appeared in front of him covered in blood. No matter how dull you are, you can still see this clear hint.
Backup—or Beyond Birthday—murders his adoptive family.
The bloody gesture is a declaration of war. "If you want to know where all this blood comes from, find out the truth." was the invitation.
Failure to find the truth is L's defeat. The competition is so simple, there is no need for extraneous matters.
However, seeing L's face at this moment, a strange and strong emotion emerged in B's heart, including sadness for L's situation; some sourness for L's relationship with others and the past they shared; Fear, fear of how much L knows and how he plans to defeat B; but the most...
anger.
Anger at the world, anger at parents, anger at eyes, anger at violence, filth, curses, anger at myself.
B stood there, in the thick darkness, next to the tatami where L was lying, his red eyes surging like fire, as if they were making a crackling sound.
At that moment, he wanted to burn down the world, the sinners, the wicked, and the lunatics. He wanted the monstrous flames to sweep across the world and let the wanton tongue of fire lick all things. He walked into L, holding his hands in the air, as if holding a knife, and aimed it at L's neck and body, going around L's brain and heart, severing, cutting, covering it with blood, and then licking it away with his tongue. ...
Unfortunately, his hand didn't actually hold the knife. The knife was left on the grass in front of Freedom House. If possible, B can also find another one in the room. L was undefended and slept very deeply.
He regretted it because of his peaceful sleeping face.
"I can't kill you," B's voice stirred the air gently. The noise of the night was blocked by the window, and it was quiet and windless. "Our competition is not over yet."
"Besides, the time has not yet come." He kept his gaze on the top of L's head, and the red numbers steadily decayed like a clock.
"I don't know if you're pretending to sleep, L, but considering that you did the same thing last time, I'm just going to say it here," he squatted down and hugged his knees like L, his body blending in like the god of death. In the dark night. "Ellina was the last to die, the only one who died outside the apartment instead of inside. She was my dear, unforgiving, tortured, never-happy sister. The curse was upon her. It's reflected most profoundly."
"You should have noticed...the important thing is not the method, but the motive. If you are still troubled by the former, just give up...because no one can crack it, my secret ..."
"So, what's the motive?"
Why does B enter Skidrow? Why is there blood on B's body? Why did B commit the murder? Why B...as B?
"I can give you a hint, L," Backup's eyes were flashing, with an unsettled, crazy and strange aura, "that is, I lied to you. Backup is my pseudonym. Although it is a pseudonym, it is This is not a name chosen at random. I say it because it is closely related to my motivations, no, it is an understatement to say that it defines my existence..."
"Backup...please remember it. Please remember me."
B smiled solemnly, but later found that the smile was wrong, showing a stiff mask. He still couldn't figure out how to laugh.