Summary: Young lovers are torn apart by war and distance. Time moves forward and everything about her world changes, but Bella holds onto the hope that someday her soldier will return.
"Think I'll miss you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky"
"Summertime Sadness" - Lana Del Ray
As Long as the Stars Shine
The oppressive July heat hung stagnant in the air. Too many bodies crowded the train station. As the crowd grew, so, too, did the anxious anticipation of everyone waiting. But amongst the throng of people, a pair stood, forehead to forehead, their eyes closed as they tried to block out the world. They'd known this day was coming. Yet nothing could have prepared them for the moment once it was actually upon them.
It was time to say goodbye.
Edward gripped the back of Bella's neck while she held fast to the front of his shirt. Tears streamed down her cheeks. He'd never admit it, but his threatened to spill over, too. Surrounded by so many others whom he'd be with for god knew how long, he forced himself to keep it together.
"I don't want you to go," she whispered, barely loud enough to be heard over the noise of the crowd.
Duty and desire waged war inside him. The very last thing he wanted to do was be shipped off to fight a battle on the other side of the world. But he'd answered Roosevelt's call just like every other soldier waiting for the bus. So, it was with resignation that he murmured, "I have to, sweetheart."
"I know." Her eyes fluttered open, her tears still trembling on her lashes as she looked up at him. "Will you write to me?"
"Every day if I can." A gentle smile graced his lips. "Will you write me back?"
Mustering a smile of her own, she repeated his words back to him. "Every day."
He pushed an errant lock of hair behind her ear. "You'll probably get sick of hearing from me."
"Never."
Locked in each other's gaze, they stood silently. A million things they each wanted to say were perched on the tips of their tongues. Plans and promises about the future they had no right to make.
But they'd already said all they could in whispered words and tender deeds in his bed just hours earlier. A parting gift to carry with them into the darker days ahead.
Edward cupped her cheek, gently passing his thumb over her cheek and chin, and finally running it over her lips. "You don't regret it, do you?" he asked, his voice low. "Last night?"
She shook her head vehemently. "Never. I wanted to give you something to remember me by."
"As if I could ever forget you." He swallowed hard, rubbing his thumb over the dainty band he'd placed on her finger the night before. A promise of a future they both wanted. "The day I come back, I'm going to ask you to marry me, Bella Swan."
"The day you come back, I'll say yes."
"I love you," he said softly. "More than you can imagine."
She grasped his hand where it cradled her cheek. "I love you, too."
"As long as the stars shine."
The smile she gave him would carry him through some of the worst days of his life, and when she replied in same, he knew he could meet death head on and die knowing he'd been lucky enough to be loved by this woman, however fleetingly.
"As long as the stars shine."
The slap of the screen door followed Bella into the house. Unfortunately, it alerted her mother that she was home.
"Bella? Is that you?"
"Yes, Mom. It's me," she called as she sat on the bench in the foyer and slipped off her shoes.
"Did Mrs. Stanley get you to the station in time?"
Bella closed her eyes, saying a quick prayer to beg forgiveness for the lie she was about to tell. She also said a quick prayer of thanks for Jessica's willingness to cover for her. "Yeah, she did."
"And did he get off okay?"
Bella's stomach sank at her mother's blasé attitude. Didn't her mother know Edward had taken her heart when he left? "Yeah."
"Good." There was a pause and then, "Oh, Mrs. Witherdale came home from the hospital today with little Jimmy, so I need to take over the casserole I made. Do you want to come along?"
"No," Bella managed to rasp. "I'm … I think I'm going to lie down."
Renee appeared in the doorway, wiping her hands on her apron. Catching sight of her distraught daughter, she sighed. "Honey," she said, crouching beside Bella and gently grasping her chin. "It'll be okay. I know you don't see it now, but this is for the best. That boy was no good for you."
"He—"
"Was not good for you, Bella," Renee repeated, albeit with a little more force. "No parents. No family to speak of. You need to find a boy who has a good, solid family behind him. Someone who can support you. What he's doing is a noble thing, going over there to fight, and I respect him for it. But it could be a long time before he comes back … if he comes back at all."
It was no secret Phil and Renee Swan didn't approve of Edward. He didn't come from the kind of family they wanted for their daughter. Renee saw Edward's enlisting as a sure sign of the end of her daughter's infatuation, and hoped that she could move on to a more "respectable" boy. A boy who Renee wasn't embarrassed to see on her daughter's arm. They'd endured the rumors in town for long enough, and now that he was gone, there was a chance they could salvage their reputation … and Bella's.
"It's time you move on," Renee finished in a whisper.
"But I love him," Bella said. The hole in her chest where her heart once lay cracked wide open.
Running a hand over her daughter's head, Renee gave her a regretful smile. "And you always will. But there are more important things in life than love, and the sooner you realize that, the easier it will be."
But it wasn't easier. Each night, she cried herself to sleep, wondering when she'd see him again. She walked through those first days under a cloud of uncertainty. Weeks later, the first letter from Pvt. Edward Masen was a lifeline in the raging storm that her emotions had become.
Edward's letters boosted her spirits, but they were also a poor substitute for having him in her arms. With every one of his letters came a longing she hadn't expected.
She knew she'd miss him, but she didn't realize with just how much ferocity she would feel his absence. With every written word, Bella only wanted more.
When school resumed in September, it was a poor distraction, but each day, Bella got up, got dressed, and faced her peers for her final year of high school. Her sole focus was to graduate and be ready to start her life with Edward when he returned. After all, her eighteenth birthday had come and gone, so there would be nothing standing in their way when he came home.
His letters came less and less often, much to Renee's silent delight and Bella's despair. Despite Edward's letters coming sporadically, Bella steadfastly wrote to him. She shared each and every mundane detail of her days without him, if only to make him feel like he was there with her.
She shared every detail but one.
The box of letters under her bed stopped growing but the secret Bella was keeping did not. It had taken her months to admit it to herself, and by the time she finally did, she was thankful that the cooling weather meant wearing sweaters and coats, which helped to conceal her slowly rounding form. But the little parting gift Edward had left on their last and only night together couldn't stay hidden forever. And by the time Thanksgiving was upon them, there was no more hiding it.
Bella had heard whispers about other girls "going away" after "getting into trouble." But she'd never given too much thought to what happened when those girls disappeared for months, only to return changed in a way she couldn't put her finger on.
It wasn't until her parents laid out her abysmal options that she fully understood.
"Texas? You want me to go to … Texas?"
With her hands primly folded on her lap, Renee cleared her throat. "There's a lovely home there for girls in your … situation. Then when this whole business is over, you can come home and finish school. It'll be like nothing ever happened. You can find a nice young man and—"
"What do you mean 'like nothing ever happened?'"
This time it was her father who spoke up. "Bella, surely you don't expect to bring home a bastard baby and expect us to help you raise it, do you?"
Her father's blunt words caused tears to fill her eyes. "My baby isn't a bastard. He has a father and—"
"You're not married, Bella. Whether you like it or not, that …"—He pointed a finger at her midsection—"that abomination is a bastard."
"I won't give him up," she whispered, angry tears spilling onto her cheeks. "And you can't make me."
Her father laughed, derisive and cruel. "If you want to live under this roof, you will do as we say, young lady."
Bella had never felt so betrayed by her own parents as she did in that moment. And that feeling only intensified in the days that followed. She was treated as if she had no say in her own future. She was talked over, not with, and decisions seemed to be made without including her opinion.
After days of tense silence in the Swan home, a decision was made. It was one that broke Bella's heart all over again, but it was the only one she could live with.
"It's for the best, Bella," Renee said with tears in her eyes as she smoothed her daughter's hair. "You'll see."
In the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas, Bella packed her meager belongings, the most important being the box of letters under her bed, before boarding a bus bound for Seattle. And two days later, when she stepped off the bus and into the frigid air, so very cold compared to the tepid warmth of Phoenix, her Uncle Charlie was there to greet her with open arms.
"Hey, kiddo."
She found warmth and acceptance she didn't know she desperately needed in his embrace. "Uncle Charlie." A sob of relief sputtered out of her, and for the first time in a very long time, she felt like someone cared.
"Hey, now," he said, his palm warming her back, "it's all right. Everything's gonna be just fine."
When she finally pulled away and looked into his eyes, she found love reflected in his warm brown gaze. It was something she'd been missing.
"Are you ready to go home and get settled?" he asked.
She thought about what she'd left behind in Phoenix, the cold distance she'd felt with her parents in her final days there. The last thing she would call it was home. She answered the only way her heart would allow.
"I am."
The drive out of Seattle was peaceful. Aside from the rumbling of Charlie's red Ford pickup truck, it was quiet. Neither of them felt the need to fill the silence with conversation; that is, until Charlie felt the need to let Bella know where he stood.
"For the record, my brother is an ass."
Surprised, Bella turned to look at her quiet, unassuming uncle. "What?"
"He's an ass. And a hypocrite. Let's just say he wasn't exactly a saint when we were kids. He's lucky he didn't get any of the girls before your mother … in the family way."
Bella sighed and turned to look out the window, watching the trees fly past them as they traveled Highway 101. "Yeah, well, I'm figuring out that the shame of my situation rests completely on my shoulders," she said softly, her breath fogging the glass.
Charlie grunted his disagreement. "I may not have a popular opinion, but there's no shame in wanting to keep your baby." He shrugged a shoulder. "Your fella said he loves you?"
"He does."
"And he told you he wants to marry you?"
She looked down and rubbed at the ring on her hand. "Every time he writes me."
He nodded his head once, resolutely. "Then that's good enough for me. I'll be sure to add him to my prayers so he'll find his way back to the two of you."
With a new respect for her favorite uncle, she scooted over and laid her head on his shoulder. "Thanks, Uncle Charlie."
And that was that. Nothing more was said or asked. Bella quickly came to appreciate Charlie's unobtrusive demeanor. But it was far from the last thing she appreciated about her new home.
The small, rural town of Forks was nothing like Phoenix. It was hardly large enough to call a city. A block of offices, a post office, and a general store made up most of its downtown. Loggers, including her uncle, accounted for the majority of its residents, and most everyone kept to themselves. It was easy to get lost in obscurity there, which is probably why her parents thought it safe to ship her off and forget about her.
It was also easy to reinvent herself.
With the thin band now on her left hand, she introduced herself as Isabella Masen to anyone with whom she crossed paths. And as her belly grew, no one gave her disparaging or disdainful glances. They saw a soon-to-be mother, living with her uncle and waiting for her soldier husband to come home. Best of all, Uncle Charlie wasn't fazed in the least.
"You're as good as married to him anyhow," he'd said with a shrug. "I don't see the harm in it."
And like every other time he said something to lift her spirits, Bella had kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Uncle Charlie."
The page on the calendar turned, and as they welcomed 1944, Bella began to feel more at home. She slowly stepped into her role in her uncle's home and took over the household duties while he went to work, and, in turn, he provided for her. They found a confidant in each other, each of them finding the family they longed for in each other. Every evening, they listened to the radio, hoping to get some idea of what was happening over there. The uncertainty of Edward's whereabouts ran high until the first letter arrived at her new home weeks later.
Bella wanted so badly to share her news, to tell him of their impending arrival, but she knew it was unfair. She feared it would only be a distraction, and the last thing she wanted to do was steal his concentration. So, instead, she would sit under the stars and remind herself he, too, was out there under the same stars … stars that would shine for as long as she would love him.
It was a drizzly day in late April when her pains began. The closest hospital was in Seattle, and the thought of driving so many hours on a bumpy highway in a rumbling truck was the last thing she wanted to do. It meant Bella couldn't take advantage of the "painless" childbirth she might have had if she'd made the trip. Instead, Charlie called on the wizened old midwife, Mrs. Cope; the woman responsible for birthing every child in Forks for a generation.
The baby's birth was anything but painless.
But in the end, Bella held her newborn son, one with gray eyes and a tuft of coppery hair … just like his father's.
"What are you going to name him, Bells?" Charlie asked, peering at the bundle in her arms.
"Anthony. Anthony Charles Masen."
Falling in love for the second time in her life was effortless. Anthony was everything good in the world, and he managed to plant a new heart back in Bella's chest, somehow filling the void Edward's absence had left. The day Anthony smiled his first smile, Bella made a decision: She could no longer keep her joy to herself. Finally, she broke down and sent Edward a photograph of their perfect, beautiful son.
But there was no reply.
May of 1944 was the last letter from Edward to be delivered to Charlie's address. Bella's—with her joyous news and Anthony's photograph—was returned.
It was stamped undeliverable.
Anthony grew, his eyes sharpening to a muted green, and Bella told her son about his brave father, off fighting a war in a faraway land, grasping onto the final shreds of hope that he would return to her. But with every passing day, as months went by, that hope began to fade.
Anthony's first word was Dada. His second was Mama. He took his first steps before his first birthday. Every smile, every giggle, Edward had missed it all.
Like she had so many times before, one night, long after she'd put Anthony to bed, Bella grabbed a sweater from the hook behind her door and the worn quilt from the linen closet. As she stepped outside, she pulled her sweater tighter around herself. The chill she had come to love had settled in the field beside Charlie's home. So, disregarding the dampening blades of grass, she spread out the quilt and laid on it to stare at the stars.
"I miss you," she quietly mused into the darkness, her voice carrying on the breeze. "But I think it's time to be honest with myself. I want to believe you're still out there. That you're trying to find your way to us." Bella closed her eyes when they filled with tears. "But I'm starting to lose hope. And right now, hope is the only thing I have to hold onto."
She opened her eyes, and as she did, a shooting star streaked across the sky. A flicker of a memory crossed her mind. Her grandmother once told her to never miss an opportunity to make a wish on a shooting star. So, she took a deep breath and sent her heartfelt plea into the universe as her tears ran past her temples and disappeared into her hair.
"Please … bring him back to me."
With a wish on her lips and hope in her heart, she fell asleep under the starry sky.
The quiet stillness and misty gray of morning were confusing when Bella next opened her eyes. She hadn't planned to spend the night outside. She'd fully intended to go back in the house and curl up in her bed beside her son's crib. As she slowly sat up, the events of the previous night came back to her in a rush. The coolness of the night air and the sounds of the neighboring forest had been enough to lull her to sleep. Panic set in when she thought of her son, alone in their room while she slept under the stars. But before she could rush inside to check on him, she heard the sound of a car door closing, echoing off the house.
Visitors were rare in Forks. And other than Mrs. Cope, she and Charlie had certainly never entertained any visitors.
A flash of possibility crossed her mind. Perhaps it was her parents. Maybe they'd changed their minds about accepting her decision to keep and raise her son. Maybe they were there to make amends.
It was with that thought that she sprinted toward the front yard. But it wasn't her parents she saw when she rounded the corner of the house. No, it was a cabbie, pulling away from the house. It was as confusing as it was rare to see in Forks.
She stared at the car as it drove away, its taillights growing smaller and smaller. She was so focused on the cab driving away that she failed to notice the man in uniform standing on her porch.
"Bella," he called out, his voice wavering.
She spun around so quickly she nearly lost her balance. Her hand flew to her mouth and tears filled her eyes. "Edward?" she asked through her fingers.
His own vision swam with tears. Carefully, using his cane to give him the balance he needed, he slowly stepped off the porch.
Bella blinked rapidly; her brain struggled to catch up to what she was seeing. Edward … her Edward was here, walking toward her. His uniform, stiff and green and dotted with shiny buttons and medals, made him look like someone else. Gone was the boy she said goodbye to, replaced with a man … a man who seemed to have aged a dozen years.
By the time Edward reached her, Bella was trembling. He wasted not another moment before pulling her into his arms. "I missed you," he murmured into her hair.
She clung to him, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried, futilely, to calm her racing heart. "Is it really you?"
"It's really me."
She pulled back and stared up at him. "But … how? Your letters, they stopped coming. And mine was returned. I thought—"
He brushed her hair back, cradling her cheek. "We'll have time to talk about all of that. But for now, let's just say I had a little trouble finding my way home."
"Are you? Home, I mean?"
"I'm wherever you are, Bella. You're my home," he whispered as he pressed his lips to hers.
All the heartache and longing of their time apart were poured into their kiss. Every promise they'd ever made to each other bubbled to the surface; every hope and wish that lived in their hearts was now within reach. They had their whole lives ahead of them to make it all happen.
Their kiss slowed and their grip on each other loosened, but they didn't part.
"You came back to me," Bella whispered, her forehead pressed to Edward's.
"I promised you I would."
She looked up at him then. "I wished on a star last night that you would."
He smiled a crooked smile, almost shyly. "I'm pretty sure I wished on a star every night that I'd get back to you … so I could do this." Slowly and with practiced care, he lowered himself to one knee. Bella gasped when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, opening it to reveal a delicate diamond ring. "Isabella Swan, I've loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. And I made you a promise before I left. I promised that I'd ask you to marry me when I came home. Would you do me the greatest honor of becoming my wife?"
Bella dropped to her knees and wrapped both of her arms around him. "Yes, I'll marry you!"
Their private celebration was cut short by a baby's disgruntled cry and Uncle Charlie stepping out onto the porch. "Bella?"
Edward looked up from placing the ring on Bella's finger, and the exuberant smile on his face changed to one of wonder, because there in a stranger's arms was a little boy with his wild hair and Bella's button nose.
"Come on," she said, standing and holding her hand out to him. "There's someone I want you to meet."
A/N: This one started out as a prompt on The Fic Lab on Facebook, and it kind of snowballed on me. I didn't intend to write something this long, but … yeah.
I have a bit of a personal story that kind of goes with this one, too. Nearly sixteen years ago, my husband and I stood on a moonlit beach in St Lucia as he gifted me a ring for our tenth wedding anniversary. Engraved on the inside of the band were the letters ALATSS: As long as the stars shine. Standing on that beach, under the moon and stars, he told me he'd love me as long as the stars shine, and it's a core memory I'll carry with me for as long as I live. And I better remember it forever because he hasn't done anything nearly as romantic since. Lol.
This one also serves as an example for an upcoming contest I've volunteered to judge. The Eras Contest is a period contest including any and all Twilight characters, pairings, eras, and genres. We're accepting entries now through October 31, 2023, and we really, really hope you'll write for us. Please message our Secret Keeper, Jeaboo1, with any questions!
As always, you'll find me in my Facebook group, Sunshine Fics, if you want to stay up to date with what I'm up to. I hope you'll join me there. :)
"See" you soon!