Sorrows of a Rager
Author: TUCfan.
Pairing: None.
Rating: T, because it's The Underland Chronicles, and this one has a few darker themes.
Description: He truly knew the ways of war. Now, when there's peace all around, and life has improved for everyone but himself, how is he supposed to be happy? Part of my Ares is Alive timeline.
Disclaimer: I do not and will not ever own the Underland Chronicles. They belong to the wonderful author Suzanne Collins. If I did own them, I wouldn't be writing FanFiction, now would I?
Author's Note: Hello all, welcome to the next portion of the story. I adore the relationship that Lizzie and Ripred have, and it is barely ever seen in most TUC fics. Even my favorite of all 700 something fics, The Warrior and the Guardian, barely has any. I intend to rectify that.
Song: Written while listening to What Have I Become by All Good Things.
Life had become good. The alliance between the humans, the fliers, the nibblers, the crawlers, the spinners, the gnawers, the diggers, and the shiners had held up incredibly well. So well, in fact, that the moths and, to everyone but Hazard's surprise, the stingers had joined as well. The only peoples who were not with them now were the twisters, the squids, the mites, and the cutters, three out of four of which could not even speak any tongues outside of their own.
With how well things had become, Ripred's job was becoming less and less important. There were so few battles to fight, he had begun to shun his training. In turn, he had put on a few pounds, though no one could tell.
As leader of the gnawers, there was little he had to do, aside from settling minor disputes between disgruntled members of his people. Most times, all he had to do was give a verdict to settle their argument. If they weren't satisfied, a crack of his tail or a scrape of his claws were enough to persuade them. Only once had a rather quick, but young and inexperienced gnawer tried to challenge his ruling, and it hadn't ended well for him. If nothing else, it served as a reminder to the others that despite his advance in age, he was still the best fit for the job.
As life continued on for everyone, they began to have more and more permanent homes. Due to the fact that there were no stresses to hinder them, populations boomed as families were born left and right. Even Lapblood's pups had found mates of their own. Lapblood herself had remained alone, instead finding joy in the family she still had. As his second in command, her duties usually revolved around helping him in some way or enforcing his orders. Now, as he had to deal with less and less every day, she was spending more and more time with her family, leaving Ripred alone usually.
Loneliness was not something he was a stranger to, for he had spent many years acquainting himself with it. But there was a difference between his solitude then and his solitude now. Then, there was no one depending on him, and he could do all he wanted to try and die, in search of a respite from the haunting pain his grief afforded him. Now, as the leader of the gnawers, his people needed him. Only Lapblood would have been able to stand up to the humans when necessary, and even she could not do it in the way Ripred could. The fact of the matter was, he was lonely, and had no way to cure it.
Some days, he wondered if it was worth it to continue living on. His one mission, achieving piece for his people, was completed. Now what was he supposed to do? Get fat?
He supposed that the only thing that was worth much to him was his bond with Lizzie, the sister of the Warrior and the Code Breaker. On the days where he found himself at the river where Tick had died, he would remember her, and the joy she brought to him. He would remember that, while yes, his life wasn't the greatest, it at least did have bright spots.
In the time he had known her, she had grown from a shy, quiet, and nervous eight-year-old to a confident, wise, and still quiet ten-year-old. She regularly visited the Underland after her hours in school to stop by and spend time with him, which he appreciated more than he could ever articulate.
As he sat by the river, idly listening to the rush of the water go by, he pondered all of this. Today was one of the worse days, where everything reminded him of how alone he was. There had been no disputes for him to weigh in on, so he had left. Most times, like today, no one searched for him. He wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse.
A fish swam by, minding its own business. Suddenly, a larger one swooped down onto it and ate it.
Death was also something he was not a stranger to. Having gone through so many wars, it was impossible for him to not have seen it. But aside from the fact that no one used to be able to get along, he still was familiar with it. Losing a mate and pups did that to you. There were others, too, that he had lost. Hamnet, Solovet, and Twitchtip, to name a few.
Twitchtip. Something about her filled him with regret. Not just for the fact that she would have been a valuable asset to the war, but also that she could have been a good friend. Not that he would ever admit that, but still. He almost wished she had lived, just so she could be a part of his band, like he had promised. Through the war of time, his numbers had dwindled from ten, the full group, down to one, only himself. If she had been there with them, he was certain that she, at least, would have stuck with him.
Maybe he had treated her too harshly. Sure, her sense of smell usually caused her to be a bit aggravated, but he supposed he didn't have to poke at her as much as he had.
He was both glad and upset she was not there for him to change his ways with. Glad, because it killed him to admit he had been wrong, and upset because she had deserved better. After all, he knew exactly what it was like to be hated, and to live alone for so long.
Shaking himself, he stood and began to make his way back to his nest, and from there, Regalia. It would be time to meet his bond soon.
Setting her backpack down with a dull thud, Lizzie sat down at the table in the suite she was provided and waited for Ripred. Days like these were her favorite. Visiting the Underland had done nothing but help her grow into a better person. Though she still had her occasional panic attack, her confidence grew by the day, and it was noticeable. Even on the days where she didn't feel as good, Ripred was always there to cheer her up.
It almost made her feel bad, how much Ripred cared for her. To her, it seemed that he held up his end of their bond much more than she did.
"Maybe I should bring it up to him," she thought. "See if there's not more I can do."
With those thoughts in mind, she set about doing her schoolwork, hoping Ripred would show up soon.
It was only half an hour later that Ripred showed up. With languid steps, he wandered into the room and plopped himself down next to her. Looking up from her book, Lizzie smiled and hugged him.
"Hi," she said, leaning back into her seat. "How's your day going?"
"Same old same old," said Ripred, settling himself down on the floor. "Not much to do, so I left. How about you?"
"Fine. Just some homework to finish," she said absentmindedly. She took a deep breath. "Ripred?"
"Hmm?" he said, turning his head to look up at her.
"You know how we're bonded, and that means that we protect each other?" she asked. He nodded, unsure of where she was going with the conversation. "Well, I don't know why, but I can't really help but feel like you hold up your end of the bond more than I do. I mean, you protect me in danger and you care for me so much, but what do I even do?"
Sitting up, Ripred fixed her with a look. "Lizzie, you do just as much for me as I do for you. Yes, you don't defend me in battle, but that's because we're at peace, and I don't need anyone defending me. Other than that, you take care of me in the exact same way I do for you," he said.
"But you're the one who's always checking up on me and making sure I'm doing okay and-" she cut herself off, her breathing growing heavy.
"Hey, come here," said Ripred, drawing her in with his tail. "Deep breaths, in and out."
Gradually, her panic lessened, until her breathing evened out, and she was left sitting on the floor with him. "I'm sorry for freaking out," she murmured. "I don't know why I did."
"It's alright. No need to apologize," said Ripred. "What's on your mind?"
"I just... I just want to be for you what you are for me, but it's so hard. You do so much for me. How am I supposed to hold up my end?" she asked miserably.
"You already do, Liz," said Ripred. She looked up at him in shock. "Everything you said I do for you, you do for me."
"But you take care of me all the time. What have I ever done for you?" she asked.
"You keep me going. Lately, with peace everywhere, there's barely anything for me to do. I don't have much purpose other than solving fights between members of my people. But you, you give me reason to come back. Taking care of you, sitting with you when you do your work, even just laying here, is what I live for. So sure, maybe you don't fight with me in battle. But in every other way, you're there doing just as much as I am," said Ripred.
"I... oh, Ripred," she said, burying her face into his fur. "I didn't know. I'm sorry for making such a big deal out of it."
"Hey, don't be. Of all the people who need to apologize for things, you're not one of them," he said. "I probably am, to Twitchtip mostly, but we all know that won't ever happen."
Lizzie was quiet for a moment. "Sometimes, the best way we can do better for them is to treat others the way we wanted to have treated them. It's true, you won't be able to fix what happened, but you can always prevent it from happening again," she said.
"Well, look at you, the wisest ten-year-old around," said Ripred. "Maybe you're right. It's a start, after all."
With that, the two snuggled up tighter. And if Lizzie's homework was forgotten for a few hours, neither really noticed.
Finis. I truly adore the relationship Suzanne Collins created between the two of them, and I hope I did it justice. If you enjoyed reading this, please review. I appreciate any and all feedback you're willing to give. Happy reading!