Rey makes her way through the wave of bodies that seem to be crashing around her as she tries to make her way to the bar. She has her arm stretched out behind her and her best friend Finn is connected to her index and middle fingers as she tries to navigate through the large crowd.
Rey doesn't know what she is doing at a bar, she hadn't stepped foot into a bar in over five years It wasn't her scene. It was too crowded, too loud. She had already had her ass slapped twice by both a man and a woman and the contents of at least two glasses of beer had been spilled onto her shoes in the 30 minutes that she had been there. The night was still young but she was ready to head out of the bar at that moment.
Her best friend Finn had convinced her into coming out with him. In a trendy tapas bar. Finn had thought that it would be a step in the right direction to go out and let loose. Free the stress from her most recent break up.
Her ex had called in quits on their relationship two days prior, ending a two year relationship that she thought was going somewhere. She had almost expected him to ask her to marry him when he asked her to go out to dinner. Instead he told her that he thought the relationship had run its course and he wanted to move on.
It didn't particularly seem to matter to him that Rey wasn't ready to move on yet, that she had put all of her hopes on a marriage proposal. A proposal that wasn't coming. He had blindsided her. She had though the relationship was going well, that they were in love and wanted the same things in life, the same future, together. She didn't understand how she could have been so wrong , again.
This was the second time that she had done this to herself, fallen for a guy that she thought was the perfect match for her, only to end up with her heart smashed to pieces. She hadn't taken the first break up very well either.
The first man that she had fallen in love with stole a lot from her but most of all he had stolen her pride.
She was still so devastated over what happened at the end of their relationship. She was convinced that he had manipulated her into a relationship that she hadnt been ready for. She had been young and naïve and thought he was as serious about her as she was about him. He was her everything. She thought that he was the love of her tifetime at the time.
She had only spent 6 months with him in a relationship, but she had thought at the time that they were the most blissful 6 months that she had lived.
He was a teaching assistant in her high school, her senior year. His name was Ben Solo. He had been handsome with raven black hair that was shoulder length, framing his chiseled face and dark brown eyes that pierced into her soul when he glanced at her. He was charming, smart and only seemed to have eyes for Rey. She would frequently catch him staring at her when he was lecturing to the class and when she would catch him he would give her a sly smile and wink. He would linger at her desk a few minutes longer then he was supposed to when handing out assignments or collecting papers. He would smile down at her and she felt special.
He would catch her as class ended and chat with her, asking her questions about herself, her interests, her home life, and her friends. He would rarely talk about himself but gave her some basic information, such as where he was going to College and what he was majoring in.
Ben had offered to tutor her and they spent a lot of time at her house studying and then it slowly became more than just studying. When he looked at her, she felt like she was the only one in the room. His stare into her eyes was so intense, she felt like she could get lost in his eyes.
He was her first kiss, her first everything. She felt like they had a strong connection, she thought that she was in love with him. She believed that he had loved her back. She let herself be consumed by her love for him. He was all that she thought about at night before she fell asleep at night. He was what she thought about when she was sitting in class, talking to her friends or finishing up her homework.
He had taken her innocence and then after his term was finished at her school, he disappeared. He never returned any of her calls or texts. She tried to track him down on social media after that but he deleted all of his accounts. She even drove past his apartment a week after he ghosted her and found that he had moved out and hadn't left a forwarding address.
The night before he left her life, he took her out to dinner at her favorite restaurant. When they arrived at her house, he kissed her softly on the lips as they stood on her front porch. He told her that he loved her as their lips parted. He gave her a big hug before he walked off to his car. That was the first time that he had told her that he loved her even though she had believed that he was just as much in love with her as she was in love with him.
She had even gone up to his college, with the false narrative to her foster father that she was visiting colleges that she wanted to attend. She had gone to the records office and asked about him. They told her that he was no longer enrolled as a student. She had no idea why he would leave everything behind and just up and disappear. She blamed herself, racked her brain for months about everything that she could have done to lead to him abandoning his previous life.
Ben ruined her for being in love with other men for a long time. She refused to get close to other men because she was afraid that they would up and leave her as well once she started to let her shield down and let them into her heart. She hadn't let that happen for almost 8 years.
Until she had met Paul. Paul was a co-worker. He was tall, good looking and could charm the pants off of anyone. He also came from money, She had turned him down the first five times that he had asked her out. On the 6th he asked her to meet him as a café to grab coffee and she had caved. After that she was drawn into him. He lavished her with gifts, took her out to fancy dinners, bought her expensive clothing to wear out when she was with him. She always had thought that he was too good to be true. How right she had been, she should have trusted her instincts.
Two years of her life wasted. Another heartbreak. It wasn't a devastating, aching heartbreak like she had wigen she found out the man she lived dissapeared from her life without explanation but it still hurt.
Finn was such a great friend to her, she thought to herself. He was trying to cheer her up. He had used the spare key that she had given him in case of emergencies to get into her apartment. He had become worried after she hadn't returned any of his text within a 24 hour period. Rey was always a fast texter, she would typically respond to texts that he sent within a 10 minute time period. Not that day though.
She hadn't wanted to talk to anyone, she had just wanted to be miserable by herself. Watch something that wasn't about someone being in love and was boring and mundane on TV, indulge in a tub of cookie dough ice cream the night after the break up. Finn found her sitting alone on the well worn blue corduroy couch in a pitch dark apartment. Only the light of the TV illuminated on Rey. She had a spoon in her hand and was digging her spoon into her tub of ice cream, her hair tied into a messy bun, wearing paint covered sweats when he burst into the apartment.
"Rey you need to get out of this place, go somewhere that will help you forget him. Get dressed we will go to "The West Wall", its this trendy bar downtown in lower Manhattan.
Rey threw her ice cream spoon towards Finn's head, nearly missing him. "Let me wallow in my own self pity Finn, I'm not ready to go anywhere and be around other people right now, especially not other men. Other then you of course, you don't count because you are one of my best friends who is dating my other best friend".
Finn had gone in her room and came back out waving a glittery black dress that he had somehow found in the depths of the back of her closet. She didn't remember owning anything that low cut and sexy but somehow Finn had managed to find this dress. The perfect dress to boost her confidence.
"Come on sweetheart, you are getting out of this house, doctor's orders", Finn joked.
"Finn you aren't a doctor and I can't just go looking like this, I have to shower and fix my hair and makeup. I look like a sweaty mess right now ", she protested.
"I am a doctoral candidate, close enough", Finn stated, smirking at her, twirling a pair of stiletto heels on his finger by the back straps.
Rey sighed, she knew that Finn wasn't going to leave her alone until she went out with him so her protesting was in vain.
After she had showered and blown her wavy chestnut brown hair straight, she found a skimpy little black dress in the back that she owned , which showed off her long legs and made what little cleavage she did have , stand out. She was wearing bright red lipstick in the color "Fuck Me Red" that matched her red stiletto heels.
.
Rey had waved the lipstick tube in front of Finn's face before they had left , "Look what it is called", she told him pointing to the bottom label.
Finn looked at her , his jaw had dropped in sheer surprise and his eyes had appeared to have gotten a little bigger. "Umm Rey, is there something that you are trying to tell me. I don't think Rose is willing to share me", he announced.
Rey's face felt hot as her cheeks reddened in her embarrassment. "No, of course the lipstick isn't being worn for you, silly. I just thought the name was ironic given that I will definitely not be getting fucked tonight", she teased. Even if Finn was not in a long term relationship with Rose, Rey couldn't imagine being anything more then good friends with him, he was her confident and her support. His friendship was an important part of her life.
One night stands weren't in Rey's mind set. She had only slept with three men in her lifetime. Paul, Ben and a man named Charlie, that she dated for over a year, that had ended almost a year before she met Paul. Charlie was a nice guy. He made for a great boyfriend. He was polite and affectionate. As much as she wanted to be in love with him, she just wasnt. She constantly compared him to Ben, even if he had left her years before. She knew it was selfish to drag out their relationship when any feelings were only one sided. She broke up with him over text message and he seemed to accept her dismissal of the relationship because she hadn't heard from him after that.
Two hours later, Rey and Finn found themselves swimming in a sea of sweaty bodies.
It wasn't that she hadn't been propositioned before. She had already been hit on by several different people at the bar tonight. She just wasn't interested. The only man that she was going to be going home with that night was Finn and they certainly were not hooking up.
As she waited at the bar beside Finn at the bar for a rum and coke, she glanced across the bar. There was a man whose intense gaze that she met. It was dark in the bar, the lighting only served to provide ambiance but she couldn't make out distinctive features from as far away as she was. She could tell her had dark long hair, pale, luminous skin and he was tall but muscular. A sense of familiarity struck her. She felt as though that she should recognize this man.
The man smiled at her before raising his glass and then disappearing into the crowd on the opposite side of the bar. Rey shook her head, he almost looked how she pictured Ben Solo to look in his 30s but this couldn't be Ben. The last time she had seen Ben , they were on the completely opposite coast in Santa Clara California.
Rey bit her lip and shook her head. She was just imagining the man's resemblance to Ben. It couldn't possibly be Ben Solo, the man that broke her heart and left her alone to cry herself to sleep, wondering why he left her. The man that she was constantly comparing other men to and finding that they never measured up to him.
Finn laid his hand on her shoulder, startling her out of her thoughts. He had a concerned look on his face.
"Rey, what's wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost", he said.
Rey bit her lip and shook her head, "I just thought I saw someone that I used to know but I am sure it was just my imagination", she stated. "I am just going to head to the restroom, be right back".
As Rey rounded the corridor to the women's restroom, she felt as if someone was following her. She had been too nervous to turn around and check if she was right. She surged forward quickly into the crowd that was standing near the corridor and ran straight into a solid figure.