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A home behind him, abandoned.
A home ahead of him, awaiting.
These were the thoughts of the man crossing between countless worlds, watching each as they raced past him along the myriad branches of the great tree-like structure that housed half of all reality. Each world, each universe was but one out of infinitely more that all shared the same existence on the Imaginary Tree.
The man saw each world for what they were. Each was unique in their own right, with their own people, history, joys, flaws, miracles, and tragedies. Each had no more right to exist or claim to importance than any other. Ten worlds. A hundred worlds. A thousand. A hundred million unique worlds and more. He realized now that the home he abandoned and the home that awaited him were no more special to reality than a single grain of sand would be to him on a beach.
And yet he also knew that each and every world was important. If not to the Imaginary Tree, then to the people who called them home. They, along with the worlds they owed their existence to, were allowed a small branch of existence on the tree to which they meant nothing.
It is the people who make things matter, who give things meaning. Not a mindless, unfeeling tree that exists only to exist and not to love, laugh, and live…it is the people who deserve to exist, no matter where they may be.
He thought of the two he loved and had left behind. They were the two who gave meaning to his otherwise meaningless life, and they were the two he would never lay eyes on again. The pain of losing them was too much for him to bear, so he instead focused his gaze on the worlds rushing past him. He was a single molecule of water carried along a raging river, a single mote of existence being ferried to his destination. He could not have resisted the flow of direction if he tried. He could only watch and wait.
In one world, he glimpsed a civilization arrogant enough to challenge the gods being struck down and erased from history. Only their creations remained: massive, lumbering golems with a single glowing eye and no further purpose, leaving them to wander the world without aim and assault those unfortunate enough to encounter them.
Centuries passed in the blink of an eye. The world had changed in that time and in some ways had not changed at all. Some of its deities still believed they had the right to lay waste to cities as they pleased. A many-headed god formed of water prepared to do the same to a land that greatly resembled Shenzhou, but it was stopped by a traveller wielding a sword and the unstoppable need to reunite with their lost twin.
That world disappeared to join the trillions more he already left behind. Ahead of him, he saw a different world, this one with technology far more advanced. This world was also at the mercy of godlike beings who alone possessed the power to destroy on incomprehensible scales. An entire galaxy blinked out of existence. Star after star vanished and became nothing. Planets and the inhabitants of those planets joined the destruction until not even cosmic dust remained of them.
The sight terrified him, but he could do nothing but watch. As horrific as it was, it did not prepare him for something much more bizarre: an express train sailing through the stars to a destination unseen.
He found the idea endearing. A small smile appeared on his face before vanishing with that world.
An infinite number of worlds appeared to him and vanished in an infinitesimal amount of time. He paid no heed to any of them. He closed his eyes and saw before him a spectral outline of a young girl glowing with violet light.
Sirin.
Yes, little captain?
I ask you to never erase my memories of them. Please, keep them safe for me.
I promise you this. I will not shield you from your pain, nor will I shield you from your happiness.
As the pain of loss pierced his heart once more, he attempted to numb it with the next world that flew by him. This one, he was surprised to see, was nearly identical to his own. He noted the familiar skyline of Soukai City, the architecture of St. Freya, and the floating island that served as Schicksal's headquarters. In that headquarters, he saw the face of the man he knew all too well.
Otto Apocalypse.
But this Otto Apocalypse was not the same one he knew. This one had a different plan than his cousin had. This Otto ordered his world's Captain Hyperion to send his consciousness into other worlds to probe for one where a Kallen Kaslana still lived. He saw a woman wearing a maid uniform caring for him each time he returned, and then he saw him board his battleship and vanish into the Sea of Quanta. There, the vision ended. The Imaginary Tree had no hold over its rival, the other half of existence.
Johann shook his head. It was jarring to see an alternate version of himself, one so different and yet so similar. He wondered how many more of him there were across the infinite multiverse, and he wondered how many different incarnations there were of everyone he knew. He wished his doppelganger the best of luck, wondering how difficult it could be to find at least one Kallen alive in at least one world.
The thought was not as existential as he might have expected. In fact, he was glad to know there were likely many more worlds happier than his own. Perhaps there were an infinite number of Murata Himekos living a happy life safe from the agony of Honkai poisoning and an infinite number of Bronya Zaychiks who were never forced to become living weapons for the cruellest of warlords. He rejoiced for each and every one of the Kiana Kaslanas who were not abandoned in the snow by her fathers and who were not only a cloned vessel for the re-emergence of the Herrscher of the Void.
At the thought of her, he also rejoiced for each and every Sirin who did not suffer torturous experiments in the Tower of Babylon, and he rejoiced at the happy lives they would now lead.
Thank you, Johann…
You deserved better, Sirin. I only hope that you're happier now.
I am. Because of you and those you cherish.
The ones he cherished gave meaning to his life. He lived for them, and he would fight for the beauty of their world with them.
Unless he did not.
Many worlds later, he saw another identical copy of the world he called home. This one also possessed the skyline of Soukai City he had become so accustomed to as well as a St. Freya for instructing aspiring valkyries. Most notably of all, soaring in the sky was the magnificent aerial battleship, the Hyperion. He knew its design like it was part of his own body.
But this Hyperion was missing one important detail.
Himself.
He watched his valkyries carry out missions under the orders of Murata Himeko and then Theresa Apocalypse, who were both the Hyperion's captains. He watched Kiana Kaslana struggle with an exam because she had no one to tutor her. He saw Raiden Mei suffering in silence as her classmates tormented her. He saw Bronya Zaychik separated from the one most dear to her.
He saw them suffer.
He saw Murata Himeko face the Herrscher of the Void, who had stolen Kiana's body, without saying a final farewell.
He saw Kiana Kaslana absorb the Honkai energy from a bomb so that it would not massacre a city of millions. He saw her fall from the sky to her likely death before Bianka Ataegina safely caught her using vines grown by the Abyss Flower. He saw her taken away from Mei, who was powerless to save her.
He saw Raiden Mei in the Elysian Realm with no intention of leaving to see those who missed her.
He saw Bronya Zaychik and Seele Vollerei happily reunited at last.
In all of these, there was no captain to guide them. No captain to protect them. No man named Johann Stern who loved them and who they loved back. There was no room in that world for a man like him, and the valkyries were still fighting for the beauty of their world without him.
He smiled.
He was so proud of them. So proud of their indomitable strength and will and all they were capable of on their own without ever once needing him.
Others in his place would have felt useless and discarded, that their very existence never had meaning. He smiled because he knew their world was in safe hands. He saw Kiana on the run in Arc City, alone but determined. He knew she would leave the city stronger for it.
In his mind, he relived the moment when he had safely caught her out of the sky and flew her away. Both of their lives from then on would never be the same.
He remembered Bronya crying through the wall that separated their dormitories and how he had comforted her in her bed. How Mei had been distressed by the food he prepared that reminded her of her imprisoned father. He thought of Theresa and Himeko and Fu Hua and everyone he cherished so dearly, and he remembered how they had changed his life for the better even as he did the same for theirs.
There was indeed a world without him, and he was glad for it. It was a reminder that his world, the world he called home, the world where the Hyperion did have a captain named Johann Apocalypse, was waiting for him, and so were all of his valkyries. In their world that had as much right to exist as any other, he loved them, and they loved him. He paid no more attention to the many worlds passing by and began to wonder how he would explain himself to them once he returned home. It would certainly be no easy task.
Worlds went by, few of them aware of the others. Worlds died. Worlds were born. An indeterminable length of time elapsed before Sirin stirred slightly. She felt an inexplicable feeling of unease in the distance. Something had caused it, but neither of them sensed anything that could have caused it.
Sirin?
She did not answer. The unease gradually worsened. Soon, it had morphed into the unmistakable, ice-cold grip of pure terror.
Sirin? What's wrong? What's scared you like this?
For a long while, she could not answer.
Little captain…look ahead of us…
In front of them, shrouded in blinding white light that seemed to make all the worlds fade away, was the shape of a man.
Little captain…
Her fear became his own. She knew what the being in front of them was. She had once owed her very existence to it. He understood why it terrified her so.
The man was facing away from them. It was colourless and featureless like a sculpted statue, but it was no mere statue. As it turned around, clothes appeared on its body and hair emerged on its once-bald head. Its eyes were empty, but as he looked into them, he saw every part of his being reflected in them. The figure wore the uniform of a warship captain. Its hair, he knew, was supposed to be red. Face to face with a mirror image of himself, he found himself shirking from the entity as an ant would from an incoming boot. Even as he thought that analogy, he knew he was grossly mistaken. This being was unfathomably superior to him, more than he could ever be to any ant. Heart-pounding dread filled his very being. His entire existence was at its mercy. He and Sirin both knew what they were facing.
Little captain…this is God.
God had been watching him ever since he entered the Imaginary Tree. God had been watching him ever since he entered the new timeline he and Otto created. God had taken an interest in him, and he did not know why.
Sirin felt more terror than she had ever known. It was overwhelming, suffocating, crushing. Not even the experiments in Babylon compared to God's mere presence. She was a traitor, she knew. God had entrusted her with its powers. It had given her a new purpose, which was to vanquish humanity for its sins. She had failed, she had strayed from her path, and now she had sided with the very species she swore to destroy. What punishment could possibly befit one who failed and betrayed God itself?
Sirin…don't be afraid…
How pathetic of him to try to reassure her. How pitiful were his attempts to hold onto his courage. He was every bit as paralyzed with terror as she was. Neither of them held any power against God. They still lived only because God allowed them to.
For an eternity, God watched him with lifeless eyes and an expressionless face. It did not move, nor did it need to. It was waiting.
"What are you?" he asked at last, refusing to be cowed, but his fear did not abate.
The Will of the Honkai, he realized before he had even finished asking the question. The information was inserted directly into his mind, pure knowledge thrust into the depths of his ignorance like a beam of light illuminating complete darkness. The vast wealth of sheer knowledge God possessed made him cower before it because he was nothing before it, but even then, he somehow found the strength to speak again.
"Why are you here?"
Because he had attracted its attention.
"Because Otto and I defied you by creating a new branch of the Imaginary Tree?"
Obviously.
"Are you here to settle your grudge with me?"
Instead of that, he had earned its respect, or whatever equivalent emotion a God could feel.
"For something as powerful and as alien as the very force behind the Honkai, you're rather capable of feeling human emotions."
For once, there was no answer.
Pressing his advantage, if he indeed had one, he thought of Sirin, which God knew was with him at that very moment. "I know what you are. I know what you did. You warped Sirin into hating all of humanity. You manipulated her into finding you on the moon. You gave her the powers she needed to exterminate humanity. When she failed, you abandoned her and moved on to the next Herrscher. What you have done to her is unforgivable. Like any little girl, Sirin only wanted to be loved. You twisted that desire into hate, but not even you could destroy the power of love entirely. Sirin was never completely taken by you. During each of her rampages, from when she was launching rocks at the Earth to when she fought beside Bella and at the end when she died, she was always searching for love. She had a part of her hidden within her heart you could never corrupt, and it was Cecilia Schariac who finally brought it back to life and showed her what humanity's love can truly be."
As he spoke, Sirin mentally clung onto him like a frightened child holding onto an adult's leg. He embraced her back, feeling more protective of her than ever before. He would not let this "God" harm her. He would not let it take her love away again.
Johann glared directly into its eyes. He stood his ground. "You are no god of mine," he declared with all the power he had. "I am returning home to my valkyries who are waiting for me. Together, we will continue our war against the Honkai, and together, we will defeat you. Not even a false god will stop us from fighting for all the beauty in our world."
The Will of the Honkai stood motionless. Then, more light began glowing from it, so bright that it obscured it from his view. When the light receded, it was gone as if it had never existed.
Right before it vanished from view, he saw a small smile touch its lips.
...
He could not tell how much time had passed since he entered the portal that connected the new world to the old. It could have been hours, years, or even millennia, or it could have been minutes; time no longer held meaning here. All he knew was that would no longer be alone. He would always be watched by the entity that styled itself a god.
Are you alright, Sirin?
I am…thank you…
He gave an embarrassed laugh. It was easy for me to talk big in front of it, but we all knew that my words were meaningless. It could have snuffed us out of existence whenever it wanted to. We're only alive because it wants us to live…and I don't know why…
No, little captain. You were very brave to defy it as you did.
In the years he had known Sirin, they often conversed with each other about whatever topics that happened to cross their minds. Only once did she bring up her encounter with the Will of the Honkai on the moon.
Even Herrschers did not understand the true nature of the Honkai. They only knew they were servants for a higher purpose, a purpose that only the Will could know.
I believed that my purpose was to cleanse the world of the filth and disease that was humanity, Sirin had said then. I believed in that purpose with all my being. But now, I realize it was a lie. I am no longer certain that God wishes for the extermination of humanity. It warped my hatred into a more effective weapon, but for what purpose, I can't say.
Johann had just finished dispatching a group of Honkai beasts threatening Vienna. He had not known how to reply. The Honkai had always been humanity's greatest foe. It had always slaughtered them without mercy and with no more purpose than a fire burning a forest to ash.
But after a forest fire, life blooms. The fire clears away the unworthy. Those strong enough to survive it are allowed to live in a better, cleaner world. Did the Honkai have a higher meaning than wanton destruction? Was threatening humanity only a means to some unknown end? Why had the Will of the Honkai spared them?
I feel like a pawn on a chessboard. It knows nothing of the game. It doesn't know that it's a tool. It doesn't know that it's being controlled by a player. It knows only to fight and kill the enemies in front of it because it has been commanded to.
Not so, little captain. Unlike a chess piece, you're aware that you're subject to powers greater than yourself. And with that knowledge, you may be able to grab hold of the rules and create your own destiny from them.
As the worlds raced past them, he felt Kiana's power grow closer.
You're right, Sirin. But not only my own destiny. I will create it along with the destinies of those who fight beside me, those I'm returning home to.
As for the destinies of his family he was forced to leave behind, he could not bring himself to imagine.
Seconds, minutes, hours, or years more passed. An infinity of worlds came and went before finally, in the distance, he saw a black portal rimmed with gold. Behind it, Johann could feel her. He could feel all of them.
Kiana, Bronya, Mei, Seele, Rozaliya, Liliya, Fu Hua, Theresa, Rita, Bianka, Welt, Tesla, Einstein…I've come home. I've left two pieces of my heart behind, but home is where the heart is, and each of you is part of mine.
A/N: As the title suggests, this fic will be a dumping ground (for lack of a better term) for various scenes set in this series that don't fit elsewhere. And as chapter 1 suggests, it will also continue the story of Johann after he returns from the new timeline Otto created. Despite being part 10 of a series of smut, there won't be any in this fic.
Did you get the references to Mihoyo's other games? I really like how Honkai Impact 3rd, Genshin Impact, and Honkai: Star Rail are all set in one huge multiverse. Opens up a lot of possibilities. The Captainverse captain - Mr. Assassin - and Fallen Rosemary Rita are also out there in the multiverse. Maybe I'll write about the Captainverse cast sometime.