Welcome to my first Konosuba Fic. Now, I'd tell you about the power that Kazuma is gonna get, but you'll have to read to find out of course. One note I want to stress, this is an AU. A very heavy AU. Just keep that in mind when reading. And finally, this is a harem. Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1: Cursed Blessing: Acquired

"Huh? Where am I?"

This was the question asked by the teenage boy currently sitting in a brown wooden chair. He appeared to be in some type of…room, if you could even call it that. There was nothing but an endless void. The floor looked normal enough though, being a checkered black and white tile. Across from him, was an empty white chair with a matching nightstand next to it.

'The last thing I remember was…pushing that girl outta the way,' he recalled. The young man in question had brown hair and green eyes, was five feet five inches tall, and wore a green and black tracksuit with sneakers.

"Satou Kazuma-san."

The now named Kazuma looked back in his chair to find the origin of the new voice. She was a very beautiful young woman, in fact, maybe the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had light blue hair, matching blue eyes, and her breasts were probably a C-cup, round and pert beneath her outfit. She wore a dark blue vest with a dark blue skirt, a thin light purple hagoromo draped over her clothes, and thigh high blue heeled boots with white stockings.

"Welcome to the Afterlife." The beauty, no, goddess, walked past the boy before sitting in the previously unoccupied chair, resting her head on her hand. "Unfortunately, you've died. It might've been short, but your life is over."

'That's right…I died. There was a truck that was gonna run over that girl and I tried to save her by pushing her out of the way.' The events that led to his death replayed in his mind. He sighed. 'Can't believe I picked that time to do something so out of character…wait, the girl!' The young man's eyes widened with equal parts alarm and concern. "Can I ask one thing?"

"Go ahead."

"That girl that I pushed out of the way…is she okay?" He asked, worry evident in his voice. 'Please, don't let my death be in vain.'

"She lived, but she fractured a leg." The woman answered. She let out a snort. "But she wouldn't have been hurt if you hadn't pushed her out of the way."

'Huh?'

She started to giggle. "The tractor would've stopped before hitting the girl;. That means your unnecessary meddling by acting like a hero made things worse…Puhehe!" Her giggles turned into laughter.

'What is this bitch's problem? I've never met her before and…wait, tractor?' The boy's internal rant was cut off as he finally processed what she said. "Wait! A tractor? Not a truck?"

"That's right, a tractor. Do you really think that if it was a truck, the girl wouldn't have noticed and gotten away? Use your head, NEET!"

"Then…how did I die? Was I hit by the tractor?" The teen asked, wondering how the hell he actually died.

"No, you died from shock. You thought you were run over by a truck and went into shock. I've been doing this a long time, but you're the first to die in such a hilarious way…HAHAHAHA!"

"I died from…shock." The brown haired young man's eyes were mortified. 'Is this because I decided to go outside after three straight all-nighters? It was supposed to be a simple trip to get that collector's edition! Why did it have to be an in-store exclusive?! Damn it, please don't tell me it gets worse.'

Judging by the devious smile on the blue haired woman's face, it was gonna get worse. "You lost consciousness and pissed your pants! You didn't regain consciousness and your heart failed. Even the doctors and nurses couldn't help but laugh!"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it! This can't be real!" He cried as he covered his ears. "That's so humiliating! How can there be such a useless way to die?"

"Oh, but it gets better!" She exclaimed as she pulled a piece of paper from underneath her vest. She began to read it. "Your parents reached the hospital, and they couldn't help but laugh…" The young woman trailed off, as her look of excitement and joy turned into one of horror. "Wait, that can't be right."

"What? You actually have a conscience? I'm so surprised!" The teen snarked with a huff.

"Hey, I have my limits, NEET! Your death was funny enough for me to de-stress at first, but this is too far!"

"Why would you even make fun of someone's death right in front of them in the first place?!" Kazuma yelled.

"Do you have any idea how many mortals pass on here? I'm a goddess who guides young people who pass on in Japan. And the amount of people who die young is more than you would think. So excuse me for growing apathetic towards the deaths you all suffer." The goddess huffed.

The brown haired young man paused, giving himself time to think. 'Thinking about it from her perspective, I…sort of get it. Hearing about death all the time would make me numb to it too. But it's still shitty to laugh at someone's death in front of them.' He sighed. "Maybe, but that still doesn't give you the right to laugh at someone who just died!"

"I couldn't help it, alright! I have a quota to fill, and if I don't fill it, I'll get in trouble with my superiors. Still…you're right. I'm sorry." The blue haired goddess apologized, catching Kazuma off guard.

"I guess you're not as bad I thought." He scratched the back of his neck. "Let's start over. I'm Satou Kazuma."

"I know. I'm the goddess Aqua." The now named goddess introduced herself. "Let's cut to the chase. Now that you're dead, you have two options. The first option would be reincarnating and beginning a new life."

"Question."

"Yes?"

"Would I keep my memories?"

"You would start again as a baby with none of your memories. Not an attractive option, isn't it? It's the same as erasing your existence." The blue haired goddess pointed out.

"You've got that right." The teen sighed. "So what's the second option?"

"The other option would be to go to heaven and live the life of a retirement home."

"You know this is a lazy way to describe these options, right?" Kazuma deadpanned.

"Have you ever had to explain the same thing over and over again to different people before, you shut-in NEET?" Aqua retorted with a tick mark.

"Touché." The brown haired young man conceded. "More importantly, what do you mean by retirement home? I thought heaven was supposed to be amazing."

"Heaven isn't as great as you humans would imagine. You don't need to eat after dying and you won't be able to make any food naturally up there." The blue haired woman began to explain.

"That doesn't sound too great. But maybe not needing to eat again could be a blessing." The look on Aqua's face however gave him a sinking feeling. "It gets worse, doesn't it?"

"Yep." The goddess affirmed. "There's nothing in heaven. No television, no manga, and no games." Kazuma's expression morphed into one of horror and panic. "It gets even worse. Only other people that've died before you are there. Some boys, some girls. However, since you're dead, you can't do anything kinky, so if you thought you could get lucky with one of those girls in heaven, think again. You don't have a body after all. The only thing you can do is bask in the sun and with your predecessors and chat. Forever."

That did it. There was no way he was going to heaven. "Well, looks like I'm fucked either way. If I go to heaven, I'm gonna be bored forever, but if I reincarnate, I'll cease to exist. This afterlife business sounds like a lose-lose for me."

"Well I've got great news for you!" The blue haired woman declared. "Do you like games?"

"I'm a shut-in NEET, remember? Of course I like games." The brown haired teen deadpanned.

"Then you'll like your third option! In a world different from yours, the Demon King and his army have put the world into a crisis! A world with magic and monsters as far as the eye can see! Similar to one of the rpgs you've played, hmm?"

'So like Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy, huh?' The teen was intrigued to say the least. "Go on…"

The woman stood up, her arms outstretched. "The people who died in that world were killed by the Demon King's army and were very afraid, saying that they didn't want to die like that again." Her expression became one of sadness. "Therefore, almost every person who died rejected reincarnating in that world again."

'Must have been a brutal death if they didn't want to reincarnate knowing they would lose their memories.' The young man thought with a grimace.

"That world will end if this continues since babies will cease to be born there. Hence, we'll solve that problem by sending the dead from other worlds over. Brilliant idea, right?" The goddess had a smug look as she explained the solution to this ongoing problem.

"More like a sloppy immigration policy." Kazuma retorted.

She pointed at the teen. "You'll eat those words when you hear this. Since we're sending people over, we should find people that've died young and still yearn to live and send them over with their original body and memories. It'll be meaningless if they were to die immediately after going over, so we'll grant them a special privilege to all of those going to that world, allowing them to take one thing they like. It may be a powerful ability, an exceptional talent, or a god-level weapon." The blue haired young lady smirked when she saw Kazuma's ears perk up at that last bit. "Not so sloppy now, huh?"

"Fine, I get it, I was wrong." The young man conceded. 'All of this actually sounds great.'

"So, how about it? It might be another world, but you can live once more. For the people of that world, someone will appear who can fight immediately. Isn't this great news?"

"It does sound great, but…what about the language? Will I be able to speak the language of the other world?" he asked.

"That isn't a problem. With the gentle aid of the gods, knowledge of the language will be beamed directly into your brain the moment you head over to the other world. You'll even be able to read and write! As a side effect, your brain might be wiped if you're unlucky…anyway, all that's left is to choose a powerful ability or weapon."

"Hold on, I heard something important just now. Did you say my brain might be wiped if I'm unlucky?" Kazuma's eyes were narrowed suspiciously.

"I didn't say that." she denied quickly.

"You did. Not that I care that much." 'Not that I'm not scared of my mind being wiped, but what do I have to lose? It's not guaranteed, so I'll take my chances. Better than having a one hundred percent chance of my mind being wiped if I pick option one.'

The woman pulled out a catalog from the nightstand drawer. She strutted over to the teen, before handing it to him. "Please choose. I may grant you one and only one power. It may be a powerful and unique ability, or a legendary weapon. It can be anything. The choice is yours. You have the privilege to bring this one thing to the other world."

Kazuma nodded, before deciding to start looking through the catalog, while Aqua sat back down in her chair. He stopped suddenly, as a thought occurred to him. "Is the power or weapon I can bring limited to this catalog?"

The goddess paused for a second. "I…don't think so. I've just been told to give mortals the catalog and to have them select from it. I've never been told that they can't choose things beyond it."

'That's good to know. If I don't like anything in here, I could choose something from my favorite anime or games.' The brown haired teen cheered internally. "Thanks."

"No problem. No one's ever thought of that before. I'm surprised you did." The blue haired goddess complemented. "Do you have something in mind?"

"Maybe, but I'd like to go through this first."

So saying, the young man began to search through the catalog. The goddess wasn't kidding. Every single ability or weapon was incredibly good.

'Demon Sword Murasame, Holy Sword Arondight, Super Magic, Unnatural Strength…all of these are too good. Damn it, I have too many options! I want to use magic, but…' The teen didn't know how much time passed as he searched through the catalog, but the next time Aqua spoke, she seemed pretty annoyed with him.

"Hurry up. It doesn't matter which one you choose, nobody's expecting much of a hikikomori gaming otaku. Pick something and be on your way. Anything will do. Hurry up, hurry up…"

"H-Hey! I'm not an Otaku! And I died outside, so I'm not a Hikikomori!" Kazuma refuted, "Oh yeah, these weapons…is there anything to stop me from losing them?"

"Nope!" she replied lazily, "If you can't get it back or keep it on you, that's it, you don't get another. Ah, but on the flipside, you might get asked to go on quests to retrieve ones that past heroes lost, so you can keep those if you find 'em."

'Welp, that crosses those off the list!' he decided firmly, 'Nice to know I'll be able to collect them, though…'' The teen looked a bit longer in the catalog, before shaking his head and closing it. 'The abilities are awesome, but I think I have something better.'

"Have you…mmm…made your decision?" asked the goddess while munching on chips, "Finally…"

The brown haired young man nodded. "I'd like a Cursed Technique…no, the ability to use Cursed Energy!"

"Cursed…Energy…?" The blue haired woman took a few moments to process what he said, before her eyes lit up in recognition. "OH! From Jujutsu Kaisen!"

"You've watched JJK?" asked the teen, surprise written all over his face.

"Watched? I've read all of it!" The goddess corrected with a smug smile. "I don't really get the power system too much, but I love the characters so much!"

"Really? Who's your favorite character?"

"Gojo!"

'Of course.' The teen sighed internally. 'I mean, Gojo's cool and all. Yuta and Yuji are just better. Shit, he ain't even top five.'

"I don't like that look on your face. You think I'm boring, don't you?" The goddess asked, pointing an accusatory finger at the otaku.

"You said it, not me."

"Screw you!" Suddenly, a flip phone popped into existence, floating next to Aqua. She grabbed, then put it next to her ear. "Yeah?...Uh huh…uh huh…okay… Alright, I'll tell him…" The phone poofed out of existence. "Okay, the Gods on the council are discussing how they're gonna grant your request."

"Is that a good thing?" The teen asked, somewhat nervous his request would be rejected.

"I dunno. This has never happened before. No one's ever picked a power not in the catalog before." The blue haired woman shrugged. "I wouldn't worry too much. Even if you can't get exactly what you want, they'll find a compromise. I'm sure of it."

"Okay." The teen slumped back in his chair, feeling some relief wash over him. "So…how long is this gonna take?"

"Shouldn't be that long."

"Then, can I ask a few questions?"

"Shoot."

"Are there other gods or goddesses who have this job? You said you were in charge of Japan's souls."

"Yep." The blue haired beauty nodded. "I barely know a lot of them though. I haven't really bothered to get to know my coworkers. I do have a kohai named Eris, though."

"What's she like?"

"She's nice, good at her job." Her expression became very serious and grave. "However, she's committed a very grave sin."

"Wh-What type of sin?" Kazuma was caught off guard by the normally aloof goddess's change in tone.

"She pads her chest!" Aqua boomed, standing up with outrage clear on her face.

"Eh?"

"That's right! She pads her chest! All of her followers think her chest is so big, but it's a lie! How dare she deceive her followers like that!" The blue haired goddess ranted, seemingly very passionate about this issue.

"Wait, so are you mad she deceives her followers?" The teen asked, trying to make sense of the goddess's beef.

"Oh, I don't care about that. They're not my followers, so who cares?"

"THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT?!"

"I believe in being confident in one's looks and beauty. I don't have the biggest ass in the world, and I don't have the biggest tits either, but I think they're perfect anyway. But Eris…" Her look became one of rage. "She doesn't have that confidence. Her tits are small, so she feels the need to pad them. I can't stand it! Why can't she take pride in herself? She's fine the way she is! You get it, don't you?"

"W-Well…I am a believer in chest equality. I like 'em small, medium, big, whatever."

"Thank you!" The goddess smiled at the young man. "If she understood this, I'm sure she wouldn't do it." She sighed. "But, she's too insecure, and I hate that."

'Despite how bitchy this goddess was at first…she's actually not that bad.' Kazuma realized, looking at the woman in a new light. "Have you ever told her this?"

The goddess began tapping her fingers together, her cheeks becoming slightly red. "Umm…no. I've just complained to her about how she pads her chest. Ehehehehehe."

'Oh, so she's a dumbass. Give me my compliment back!' The teen seethed internally. "Don't you think she would love to hear it?"

"I-I can't just say that! It's embarrassing and unbecoming of her senpai!"

"Yeah, but think about how much she'd respect you if you did." The brown haired teen pointed out. The woman tilted her head cutely in confusion. "She'd look up to you even more if her senpai thought that she was fine the way she is, which means you could get her to do more things for you, or whatever you gods and goddesses do here."

Kazuma swore he heard the sound of literal gears turn in the blue haired woman's head, before her eyes sparked in shock. "Holy shit, you're a genius!"

'And you're a dumbass. Though I'm glad I fixed that problem; maybe that Eris chick will do me a favor too.'

Suddenly, an ethereal, heavenly light shone down in the void room from above. Kazuma and Aqua shielded their eyes until the light died down. When the teen uncovered his eyes, he saw…'An angel. A real life angel. And she's fucking hot.' The angel wore a pink blouse and skirt, along with white stockings. She had blond hair, and of course, wings.

"Satou Kazuma-san." The brown haired young man blushed when the angel spoke his name. "The council has made their decision. You will be able to use Cursed Energy. Not only that, you will have your very own Cursed technique, unique to you by the rules of that system, and the ability to use the standard types of Jujutsu."

'Score! That means I can use stuff like Black Flash or summon my own shikigami. Holy shit, I'll also get my own domain too, won't I?! Oh my god, the possibilities!' The otaku was on cloud nine, salivating at the prospect of using cursed energy in this other world. "Thank you so much!" He bowed low.

"You're quite welcome. Now, you won't know your cursed technique until you register at the guild. It will be on your Adventurer Card. However, the guild won't be able to measure the exact level of your Cursed Energy, since it is a foreign power from anything that would normally occur. You will have to figure out the amount on your own."

'Should have known it wouldn't be that easy, but hey, that's what I get for introducing a different power system in a world with magic.'

"Now then. Satou Kazuma-san!" The angel stretched out her arms "I wish you luck in your journey to defeat the demon king, hero candidate!" A blue magic circle appeared below Kazuma's feet.

"So do I! Good lu-" A second magic circle appeared under the goddess's feet too. "H-Hey! What's going on?!"

"Aqua-sama. While the council was mulling over the decision to grant Kazuma's wish, they came to a unanimous decision to send you to the world with him." The angel revealed with a sad look.

'Huh?'

"Wh-What?!" The goddess seemed to be on the verge of tears. "What for? I haven't done anything wrong!"

"But you have, Aqua-sama. The council has not liked your performance as of late. You have not been filling your quota satisfactorily. Not only that, but some of the adventurers you have sent into the world have done more harm than good."

"Wh-What do you mean?! What adventurers? How am I supposed to control that?!" The woman was clearly distressed.

'Okay, I kinda feel bad.'

"However, your actions today were the final straw. You made fun of an adventurer's death right in front of them and mocked one of your fellow deities in front of a mortal. That is why you will be sent to the world with eighty percent of your divinity sealed. You will not return until the Demon King has been slain."

"B-But I didn't…Waaaaaa!" Aqua had begun to cry, unable to handle the punishment that was being handed down to her.

'That's fucking bullshit!' That did it. Kazuma was now pissed. "Wait a second! She was just trying to say that Eris should be more confident in herself! What the fuck is wrong with that? And I know she made fun of my death, but she apologized for it! Can't you just let this go?"

"I'm sorry, but the council's decisions are final. They cannot be reversed," she told him, with the general air of a low-ranked worker being put upon for something that wasn't their decision.

'Damn it, this sucks.' The teen thought as he saw the goddess's sobs grow louder and louder.

"If you really wish to save Aqua-sama from her punishment, then defeat the demon king. Once you do, she'll be allowed back into heaven. In addition, you will receive a single wish from the gods. Anything you desire shall be yours."

"Fine! If that's what it takes, I will!" the brown haired teen declared. 'The wish is appealing enough, but I hate it when people get handed bullshit like this.'

The blue haired woman had stopped her crying momentarily at that declaration, her eyes registering surprise, before it resumed as the two floated higher and higher as they were prepared to transport to the other world.

"Hero, may you be victorious among the many hero candidates to defeat the Demon King! I bid you farewell!"

"Wah! That's my line!" Aqua cried, as the duo in a flash disappeared from the void room. Their journeys in another world had begun.

"Another world…It really is another world! It's for real!" Kazuma exclaimed as his eyes were filled with wonder and excitement as he scanned his new surroundings. "Am I going to be able to use magic in this world? Wait, what would happen if I used both magic and Cursed Energy together…is that even allowed- er, I mean, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about and is totally fair and balanced, yessir."

"Ahhhh…Ahhhh…Ahhh…"

Before the teen's eyes was a city that looked like something out of the Middle Ages. There were paved roads, houses made from red brick, carriages, you name it. "There's even demihumans here! Is that an Elf?! It has to be! Oh, there's someone with animal ears! No more Hikkikomori life for me! In this world, I'm gonna make an effort to get out and work!"

"Ahhhh…Ahhhh…Ahhh…"

The brown haired young man turned his gaze down at the source of the noise. Aqua was hugging her head and wailing, tears visible in her eyes. 'Damn it, I want to be annoyed with her , but I can't. That was bullshit!' He sighed. "Hey, are you-"

"Waaaaaaa!" The woman got up from the ground immediately and did something Kazuma had never expected to happen in his former life: she hugged him.

'Shit!' The brown haired teen flushed as the goddess started to cry into his tracksuit. 'Curse my shut-in life! This isn't the time to be nervous!' He patted her back awkwardly. "There, there. It'll be alright."

"B-But I'm not as tuned into this stuff like you are! I only know the basics! What should I do?" The goddess wailed loudly.

"Well…" The young man began, disengaging the hug. "The first thing we should do is to find the guild. We can register as adventurers there and get information about the town there. Information gathering is standard in RPGs, and I can figure out what Cursed Technique I got too."

The woman quickly wiped her eyes, before blinking. "Aren't you supposed to be a Hikikomori-gaming NEET? Why are you so reliable?"

"You said this world was similar to rpgs. That's something I know a ton about." The brown haired teen shrugged.

"Don't get too cocky," the goddess warned, "Oh, and while I don't mind you addressing me as a goddess, call me by my name while we're in public or else citizens will surround us and we won't be able to get anything done. This might be a different world, but I'm still a revered goddess."

"Fine." The teen nodded. "By the way, you know where the adventurer's guild is?"

The blue haired woman just looked at him like he was crazy. "I don't know. I only know the basic knowledge of this world, but not the specifics of this town. This is just one of many existing planets! How should I know?"

'So this goddess is useless so far. Not a big deal, I can just ask around.' The young man started walking along the paved road, with the goddess following him. He eventually found an old lady to give him directions towards the guild, and was even able to make up a story on the spot, something that left the blue haired beauty very impressed.

"How are you handling this so perfectly? You seem like an incredibly capable guy." The goddess asked curiously as they were walking to the guild.

"Is that a bad thing?" Kazuma asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No! It's just…confusing. When I got your file, I saw you were a NEET and thought that you weren't much. Someone like you is bound to have friends and a girlfriend, so why didn't you? Why would you want to stay home all day and be a hikiNEET?"

"First of all, do not combine Hikikomori and NEET together. I'm not even a NEET, I'm only sixteen!" The teen insisted. "Second, not having friends or a girlfriend isn't a bad thing. One can't measure the value of someone by the number of friends they have or having a significant other. That's what I've learned at least. I chose that life, because I thought it was best for me given my circumstances, and I don't regret it one bit. Now that I have a second chance in this world, I'm not going back to that life."

"Because your circumstances have changed?"

"Yep. Now, what's this about my file?" The teen asked.

"We gods and goddesses get files about you guys. Everything about the lives you've lived are in those files. I don't really read them all too much, and only look for if you have a criminal record and everything surrounding your death." The blue haired beauty explained.

"So you only know about me being a shut-in because of the one time I decided to go outside? Not because you read through the entire file?" The goddess nodded. "I don't know…maybe you should be more thorough than that. Just because someone doesn't have a criminal record, doesn't mean they're a good person."

"But if people are given a second chance in life, wouldn't they be more likely to use it for good?" The blue haired woman questioned with a tilt of her head.

'I get what she's saying…but that is way too naive.' The teen noticed a sign that said 'Adventurer Guild,' along with a large emblem above the front doors of a large building. "We're here." The young man, followed by the goddess, walked up to the doors of the guild and entered.

The entire guild was host to a bar and a restaurant, the smell of food immediately flooding Kazuma's nose. 'I just realized! I can legally drink here! What should I try first when I get the chance?' The teen scanned the room, and there were a host of rough characters sitting at their own separate tables.

"Welcome!" A waitress with short brown hair, wearing a barmaid uniform, greeted the duo. "If you're looking for quests, the counter is over there." She indicated the guild register towards the back of the room. "If you're here to dine, please take an empty seat and we'll be right with you."

"Thank you…" The teen was about to head to the counter, when he noticed a host of stares from what he could only assume were fellow adventurers, most of them focusing on Aqua.

"All these people are focusing on me. They must sense my holy aura! They know I'm a goddess!" The woman whispered.

'No, it's because a bunch of dudes are wondering, 'Who the fuck is this hot girl?' and 'How is a plain looking guy like me with a beauty like her?'' The teen noticed a guy with a purple mohawk sitting at his table, drinking what he could only assume was beer or whiskey. An imaginary lightbulb appeared above the young man's head, and he approached the man.

The Mohawk Man quickly noticed he was being approached, as he turned his head and looked Kazuma directly in the eyes. "Oi. Never seen you 'round here before. What's with that weird getup?"

"My friend and I have just arrived from out of town." The teen smirked, one that showed a lot of confidence as he put one hand on the table. "We want to become adventurers and to defeat the Demon King and his army."

"Hoohoo. Is that right, you reckless punk?" The man was clearly amused by the young man's confidence. "Welcome to the Gates of Hell! Registration is over there."

Kazuma nodded, and started walking towards the guild counter. Aqua, who had been nervous while the teen was interacting with Mohawk Man, was staring at the younger man in awe now.

"You were able to make an impression on that guy…though, I don't understand why you talked to him in the first place."

"If people think we're associated with Mohawk Guy, there's gonna be less attention on us. At least, I think. He looked tough enough." The teen paused before continuing. "We're gonna register at the guild and find a place to stay the night."

"G-Got it." The blue haired beauty affirmed. "I don't know much about RPGs, so I'll follow your lead."

"You've never played any?"

"I tried to play one, but it was too confusing and hard, and I prefer games like Pacman and Mario, games that I can relax to and not focus on too much." The goddess revealed.

"Which ones did you pick up?"

"Pokemon." The goddess answered with a shiver.

The teen looked at her like she was crazy. "Say that again?"

"Pokemon. I tried playing the Red version, but it was super hard." The woman answered again.

"Which Red version? Original Red or FireRed?"

"Huh? What are those?" The beauty tilted her head in confusion.

Now the teen was even more confused. "Red Version was the first Pokemon game that came out, along with Green. FireRed is the remake."

"But I didn't play either of those."

The brown haired young man had a bad feeling about this. "Then what did you play?"

"I think it was called…Radical Red?"

'This idiot goddess played a fucking difficulty hack?! How?!' The teen was absolutely floored. "Come on, let's go register."

"Wait, what's Radical Red?"

"I'll tell you later." The young man promised, feeling like any more time spent on this topic would give him a headache. As the duo approached, they saw four counters to register at the guild. Currently, three were empty, and the last had a line, which led to a pretty woman with blonde, wavy hair. To the shock of the goddess, Kazuma chose the line over the three empty counters.

"Hey, the other three counters are empty? Why are we standing in line?" She whispered from behind the teen. "Is it because this counter worker's the prettiest? I thought you were so reliable, and then you pull this!"

"In RPGs, building a good rapport with the guild's counter staff is part of the basics, especially ones with plenty of flags to raise. This lady has flags, which means there'll be more shocking hidden side quests for us. For example, she might be a powerful former adventurer or something." The brown haired young man explained.

"...Now that you mention it, I saw something similar in a manga. I'm sorry-"

"It also helps that she's got a great rack." The young man added with a sly grin.

"Fuck you! Give me back my apology!"

After some time, the duo made it to the counter. "Hello. How may I assist you?" The lady asked with a smile. Getting a closer look at her, she wore a red ribbon around her neck and a white top that hung off her shoulders. The outfit did a great job showing her ample cleavage.

'Holy shit, her tits have to at least be an F-Cup. I wonder if she keeps anything in there…' The teen thought with a small blush, before putting that aside for now. "We want to become adventurers!" he declared boisterously.

"I see. In that case, you'll first need to pay the registration fee," she said with a placid smile.

"Sure…Wait. Registration Fee?" The young man cupped his hand to whisper in Aqua's ear. "Do you have any money?"

"I was banished without warning. When would I have had time to get my money?" she whispered back.

'I hate that she has a point. Come to think of it, you'd normally start out with some money in the RPGs I've played. I don't even have basic starter equipment. What do we do? We've already hit a roadblock.' The teen slumped his head, before an idea popped into his head. "Sorry, we just came from very far away and used the last of our money getting here. We didn't think there'd be a registration fee."

"I-I'm sorry about that." The lady looked thoughtful for a second, before she appeared to have made a decision. "The registration fee is one thousand eris for each adventurer. If you can bring me the fee later, I'll allow you two to register." She spoke in a low voice.

"Thank you." Kazuma whispered, giving the woman a smile. "When do we have to pay you back, Miss…?"

"Luna. And whenever you have the money, preferably at your earliest convenience." The woman lessened the sharpness of her words with a reassuring smile. She left her desk, most likely to get something from her office.

The brown haired teen turned to Aqua, who was looking at the young man with awe…and some guilt. "Are you sure about this? Don't you feel bad?" she whispered.

"A little, but it's not like I lied. We don't have any money, so I gambled on this woman being kind enough to give us a fee waiver of some sort. Not the most foolproof plan, but it worked out for both of us."

"But…" The goddess seemed to still be unsure of all this. The soon-to-be adventurer sighed, then put his hand on her shoulder.

"Listen, the first chance I get, I'll pay her back. So you don't have to worry about your part of the fee. So please, drop it for now."

The goddess looked at him in contemplation for a few moments, before shaking her head. "Alright, I'll drop it. But I will pay back my share. I can't always rely on a human. I'm a goddess, after all."

"Your choice, not mine." The teen said nonchalantly, but couldn't help but smile.

"Also," The goddess's expression became downright mischievous. "I'm surprised you can willingly touch a woman like me, HikkiNeet. Shouldn't you be a mess by now?"

"Well," The young man had a small blush on his face, and instinctively took his hand off the woman's shoulder. "I'm not that bad. Sure, I have my shut-in tendencies and whatever, but I'm not gonna freeze up every time a woman hugs me or something." His look changed to one of annoyance. "And stop calling me HikkiNEET!"

"No can do!"

"I figured." The brown haired teen sighed, starting to get used to his new "nickname".

"I'm back!" Luna came back with two cards and some type of blue crystal contraption. "Now, since you want to be adventurers, you two should already know the basics, but I'll explain anyway. First, adventurers are responsible for the extermination of monsters wandering outside of town. They're jacks-of-all trades, taking on odd jobs that require their talents to make a living."

'Pretty standard stuff so far.'

"Among adventurers, there are different jobs." The woman handed the two cards to the teen and goddess. They seemed to be some sort of identification card. "Please look over here:" She pointed to a spot on a blank card in her hand. "Do you see the word 'Level'?" The woman then explained that all things in the world had souls. If you ate or killed a being, you absorbed a part of that soul's memory, otherwise known as…

'Experience points. This world really is like an RPG.' Kazuma thought in awe.

"Experience points are normally intangible things, but with this card, the experience points the adventurer absorbs will be shown here, along with your level. Your level shows how strong you are…" The blonde woman's explanation was basically the same as any RPG. Gain experience points, then you level up. Level up, and you get skill points to learn new skills. "First, please fill in your height, weight, age, and other details in the blanks." The woman said, pointing to the card.

The duo did as they were told. "Is this good?" The young man asked, in case he'd missed anything.

The well endowed woman checked the card over, before nodding. She put the card on the tray under the crystal. "That'll be all. Now, put your hand over this crystal. It will calculate your current status."

"Like this?" Kazuma put his hand over the crystal, and to his surprise, it glowed. Then, a blue laser shot out from the crystal, and struck the card. The light began quivering, carving words into the card, before finally stopping.

"Now you will choose your current class based on those stats." The woman checked over the card.

'Is this it? Will my tremendous latent abilities be made apparent?' The teen thought hopefully. 'And what cursed technique did I get?'

"Satou Kazuma-san. Let's see…Strength, vitality, magic, agility, and speed…are all average. Intelligence is slightly higher… Huh? Luck's very high, but it's not really relevant for adventurers…"

'Well this isn't going well for me so far.' The young man looked back at Aqua, who was giving him a look of pity. 'Don't give me that look.'

"Wait, what's this? A skill?" The blonde woman's eyes widened, causing the duo to look at her curiously. "Cursed Technique: Conversion?"

"Can I look at it?" The teen asked, barely containing the excitement bubbling inside of him.

"Sure." The woman handed the card over to him. He looked over the card, and he swore his eyes nearly fell out of his sockets when he read the description.

Cursed Technique: Conversion: Can spend cursed energy to change one thing into another.

'That's it?' he wondered, frowning in disappointent, 'Would it kill them to flesh out the description a little?! Or…wait, it doesn't say what I can or can't change. That kinda thing's important, isn't it? In that case, can't I change anything I want? In that case…couldn't I recreate Mahito's Idle Transfiguration?!' The young man's face turned into one of rage. 'That reminds him, fuck him for potentially killing best girl Nobara!'

"What cursed technique did you get?" The goddess whispered suddenly, tugging on his sleeve. The teen showed his card to the woman, and she was no better than he was when she finished reading the description. "Holy shit! That skill could be really useful. It's similar to Mahito's…" Her face became one of anger. "Damn it, do you have to use it?! I hate Mahito, especially after what he did to Nobara and Nanami!"

'That might be the smartest thing she has ever said in her entire life.' The brown haired young man rapidly shook his head. "I get it, but if I can use it to help us on adventures and eventually defeat the Demon King, I'll use it."

"Fine. But I don't like it!" The goddess declared.

The young man handed the card back to Luna. "So, what class should I choose?"

"Normally, I would suggest becoming a merchant, but with this skill, there might be some potential in you. Although, I don't know what cursed energy is." The blonde woman shook her head. "Regardless, even with this skill, I can only recommend the Adventurer class. Your stats are still low after all."

'That's true. Even my cursed energy stat is low too. That's the only downside to this ability. My pool is too low. At least I can increase it by leveling up. Even though I don't see it on my card.' The brown haired adventurer snapped out of his thoughts. "That's fine, I'll take it."

"Would you like me to read over the rest of your skills? It seems you have more."

"No, but thank you. I'll look over the rest of them tonight." The teen declined. 'Plus, I already have a feeling I know what they are.'

"Very well. Just remember, after leveling up and raising you stats, you can change your job. And while the Adventurer class is a basic level job, it doesn't mean it's worse than the others. You can learn and use the skills of other jobs after all." Luna gestured to Aqua. "Your turn."

The goddess nodded, and went through the exact same process Kazuma had gone through. The results…

"Eh? What are these numbers?! Besides the lower than average intelligence…"

'Oh wow, I'm so surprised.'

"And rock bottom luck, the rest of your stats drastically exceed the average! Especially your magic, it's abnormally high!" The woman gazed at the goddess with awe and admiration. "Who in the world are you…?"

A crowd started to form to get a closer look at the new prodigy of the guild. 'Shouldn't this be happening to…' The young man saw the blue haired beauty's smile, and watched it eventually turn to embarrassment. 'Naw, I'll let this go. I got a good cursed technique, plus, she kinda deserves this. Maybe.'

"This is way beyond amazing! Mage-type jobs that require high intelligence aren't available, However, you may choose any other job!" The woman began listing off advanced classes Aqua may choose, and the one the goddess chose was…

"Archpriest for me then. A pity goddess isn't available as a job." The crowd went wild, complimenting the woman for starting out as an archpriest, and saying how she would be the one to defeat the Demon King. Kazuma was of course very happy for her. He wasn't jealous of her. Not one bit.

It was night, and the place Kazuma and Aqua had chosen to spend the night was…the stables. Turns out, you couldn't stay at many places if you didn't have money. They would start doing quests right away, but…they needed money to buy equipment. So, starting tomorrow, they were gonna work as construction workers until they could afford it.

As for now, the stables weren't too bad. The hay was comfortable enough. The teen was also sleeping next to a girl, so that was a plus. A girl who was a few feet away, as they had agreed to give each other some space, but still! There was just one problem…

'The smell.' Turns out, sleeping in a place that had horses and other animals that liked to do their business made the stables smell like shit. Not to mention, if they were too loud, the owner of the stables would yell at them.

"Hey, Kazuma. What other skills did you get?" The woman asked from her spot in their shared stable.

The teen had looked over his other skills related to his cursed technique, and was quite pleased to say the least. Only problem? He had to acquire skill points to learn them. "I got standard Cursed Energy Manipulation. Everything else is locked behind skill points. First thing I'm gonna learn is Cursed Technique Lapse. I wanna see what that does," he answered.

"Cursed Technique Lapse?" The goddess tilted her head in confusion.

'That's right. She said she doesn't understand the power system. At least this is understandable. I've seen other people online be confused about JJK's power system.' The teen looked thoughtful for a second. "Remember when you said you didn't understand JJK's power system?" The blue haired beauty nodded. "If you want, I can help you understand it."

"Really?" The woman's eyes lit up in excitement. "Thank you! I was starting to feel really stupid because I felt like I wasn't getting something that should be obvious."

"Don't worry about it. I've seen some other people have trouble with it too, so you're not alone."

The goddess's expression changed to one of contemplation, before she bit her lip. The teen wondered what was on her mind, before she finally looked him in the eye with a determined expression. "So…what's with your parents?"

The Cursed Energy user's eyes widened in surprise. "Wh-What?" He looked thoughtful for a minute, before replying. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because," The woman began. "I've been guiding souls to the other world for a while, and I don't think I can remember a case where the parents of one's child…" Her expression became one of disgust. "Laughed at their own flesh and blood's death. As a goddess, it disgusts me."

The brown haired young man recoiled at the truth. "Y-you never know. They could just be trying to cope-"

"Cut the bullshit." The teen was caught off guard by the goddess's cursing. "While that can happen, I can tell from your face that it isn't the case."

"You're a lot more perceptive than I gave you credit for."

The goddess scoffed. "Please. I may be stupid enough to play a competitive rom hack instead of the real Pokemon games, but it doesn't mean I'm completely dumb."

"I still don't know how that happened."

"How was I supposed to know?! One of my fellow gods told me to start with Pokemon Red! I didn't know I was playing the wrong one!" The beauty exclaimed, trying to defend herself.

'Is that god a genwunner?'

"Keep it down!" boomed a voice.

"Sorry!" The duo apologized in unison.

"To answer your question…" The teen trailed off, wondering what he should say. "I…just never had a good relationship with my parents. That's all I can say."

"That's an understatement." The goddess's expression softened. "If that's all you want to share, I'll take it for now."

"I appreciate it. Time for bed." The young man yawned, starting to feel tired.

"Good night."

"Night." The young man replied back, as he started to doze off. However, that would be interrupted when the teen took a whiff of the air once again, holding his nose in disgust. A horse had decided to shit in the middle of the night.

'New goal: buy new equipment, and get out of these stables as soon as possible.' By the look on the goddess, she seemed to be on the exact same wavelength.

End of Chapter

I hope you guys enjoyed this. I had recently gotten on a Konosuba binge, and I realized I really wanted to write a fic about it, so here we are. Kazuma's Cursed Technique is a reflection of who he is throughout the story, a bit of a wildcard. Though, I had a lot of help with it of course. And I mean a lot of help. Shout out to NSG. Anyways, I already have the harem planned out, but you can probably take a few guesses of all the people in it so far. I'll say there's 8-10 girls planned out. There, now you can fill in the rest of the blanks. Hope you all enjoyed it, see you guys for chapter 2.