I pulled her up my body and kissed her.
Kissed her to thank her.
Kissed her to apologize for all I couldn't give her. All the things she deserved so fucking much.
I kissed her for the love I made sure I could never give her. Like I could somehow make up for my kardia being removed. Why had I done that?
I was a coward.
I kissed her to will her to understand. I kissed her because I could, because I wanted - needed - her lips on my own.
I kissed her until I couldn't breathe, until I didn't want to breathe unless her lips were on mine. I kissed her until she fell asleep. Until her breathing evened out and her body slumped.
Still, I kissed her. Trying to pour my words, my thoughts, into the kiss. When I finally forced my lips from hers, I stared at her face, those freckles. I counted them again. 36.
I stared at her swollen lips. Those lips that gave me pleasure like I've never known. Never knew I could feel. I could feel myself thickening again at just the thought of what her mouth felt like wrapped around me.
Sucking me. Licking me. I shuddered.
I closed my eyes, willing my cock to follow. I pulled her to my chest, wrapping one arm around her waist and nestling the other under her head. I sank my head into her hair and inhaled her scent.
Her scent in my nose.
Her taste in my mouth.
The feel of her soft, warm flesh under me.
I pulled the blanket over us, feeling her nuzzle into my embrace. Feeling her breath tickle my arm.
And then I felt it. Peace. Indescribable, unexplainable peace.
My eyes closed as the unfamiliar feeling washed over me and I drifted off into the deepest sleep I've ever known.