"It's edible."
"It is not."
"No, look, it is."
Hitoshi watched amused, as Kaminari tried to convince Kirishima to try some of his... hold on... blueberry-strawberry-peanut butter-milk-soy milk-aubergine-hazelnut-sunflower-peach-lettuce-onion smoothie.
It looked as disgusting as it sounded, even if it smelled quite good. Though Hitoshi would never voice this opinion, he had honor. Something, that Kaminari completely lacked.
"Hey, Mina, try it and tell me!" the blonde found another victim of his monstrosity. "Kirishima doesn't believe that it's good!"
"Because it isn't bro! It smells horrible!" The redhead defended his position fiercely. Well, he was wrong, it did smell nice if a little eccentric.
"No, Mina, you have to try it, it's amazing!"
"Kaminari... no offense dude but just..." Mina did a few gagging noises and symbols and the blonde just withered in front of their eyes.
And then he spotted Hitoshi lunging on the couch. Uh-oh.
"OH SHINSOU WOULD YOU TRY MY SMOO—" An explosion cut him off and he looked to the staircase, startled. Hitoshi couldn't see from where he was half-lying on the cushions, but it wasn't like he needed to, to identify the new arrival.
"Hi Katsuki," he blew a kiss mockingly in his general direction and went back to scrolling on his phone. He would do more, but the blonde tended to be affection-wise skittish in public. Boundaries were boundaries, Hitoshi wouldn't cross them.
He got a grunt for a response, and then a few more pops crackled in the air as he finally appeared in the commons.
"I could smell this fucking abomination from the corridor you fuck. What the fuck did you even put there!? Shit!?" Ah, classic Katsuki.
Kaminari started defending his disaster, but the living bomb just crackled with his quirk louder. Hah, petty bitch.
"I'll never step my foot into the kitchen again if all of you taste-test that and say it's horrible!" Oh? That one was new.
"Would you really?" Hitoshi asked from his comfy place. Kaminari nodded, cradling the container to his chest like a newborn. "Aight, Imma do this."
That got 'ooh's from both Mina and Kirishima, while Katsuki just stared at him with disbelief for a few seconds before—
"No. No, you won't. The fuck. The fuck Toshi."
"But babe," Watching the blush instantly appear on the pomeranian's cheeks was immensely satisfying. "If that's a sacrifice we have to make to avoid future disasters shouldn't we do that? As hero hopefuls would?"
He was pretty sure Katsuki murmured something about puppy-cat eyes, but he was a fair distance away and willing himself to get out of the couch, so he could be mistaken. And if not, oh well.
"So..." Mina started, before snatching the container from Kaminari, "I guess I'm going first if we all want to do that. I'm a sympathetic vomiter, I have to go first or I'll barf with each one of you." She was dead serious, it was amusing.
"Same," Kirishima awkwardly rose his hand as if he was in a classroom.
Perfect.
"I guess I'll be the la—"
"I'll be the last one," huffed out Katsuki. "It was your idea so go before me or square the fuck up." Ah damn.
But oh well, "Fair."
Kaminari took the container away from Mina when she was busy glaring daggers at Katsuki because apparently he "wasn't supposed to say threats to his boyfriend". Well, Hitoshi didn't see anything wrong with that considering he never followed through. He was just Like That™️, Hitoshi knew what he was signing up for when he asked him out.
"Well, drink up!" Kaminari pressed small glasses of the mixture in Kirishima's and Mina's hands. They both looked at each other as if they were saying their last goodbye and downed the drink in one go.
Hitoshi expected instant gagging sounds. Not silence.
Did it kill them? Was the taste so awful it took away their speech?
"This..." Uh-oh. Mina was looking at the glass with a haunting look in her eyes.
"Is..." Uh-oh. Kirishima was nearly the same.
"Surprisingly..." Uh-oh. Hitoshi was next.
"Good!" ... What?
"You're joking, right?" he asked, scrunching up his nose. What the fuck.
"No! Absolutely not joking..." Kirishima turned to Kaminari with the mouth open in awe. "Bro... you're so manly and brave for trying out this weird mix!"
Hitoshi exchanged glances with Katsuki. This was... weird. Also, Kaminari's ego was inflating with every second and someone would soon have to bring it down before it bursts.
"Okay..." Hitoshi barely had time to think before the overexcited blonde pressed a glass in his hands. Onion. And peach. And lettuce. And strawberry. Blergh.
"Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!" his excitable classmate started chanting. Katsuki just gave him a look that said 'You signed up for this yourself.'. Well, YOLO.
He tilted the glass, trying to swallow the mixture without tasting. That was impossible though.
It was… What the fuck it really was surprisingly good. It wasn't as sweet as he expected it to be, and somehow the tastes mixed well…
"Well…" Everyone was looking at him curiously, even Katsuki. "Christ on a stick, it is good," he finally admitted, looking at the rest of the smoothie with a mix of awe and disgust. Did Kaminari lie about what's inside? No, there was a distinct taste of onion there.
Hitoshi needed time to reboot.
"Well babe, your turn." Katsuki visibly soured up at that. Can't really blame him.
"I swear to fucking god—" He yanked a container from Kaminari's hands and took a gulp…
…and promptly spit it out in the sink.
"THAT'S FUCKING HORRIBLE YOU DICKY DINGBAT! TASTES LIKE SHIT MIXED WITH ONION TART AND STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE FUCKING DISGUSTING!"
Well…
"I do genuinely think it's good tho," Hitoshi said rising his hands in a gesture of appeasement. "But you can have your own opinion."
"See! Three to one! We outvote you!" Mina and Kaminari started dancing randomly, happy because of their win. Sigh.
"Queens think alike but dumb bitches rarely differ."
What.
"I don't think that's the saying, Bakubro."
"Shut!" Katsuki was getting to a lovely shade of pink for some reason. Huh…
"And you're mean Kacchan!"
"Shut up!"
Suddenly something clicked in Hitoshi's brain. Oh..? Oh? If it was going where he thought this is going…
"Did you just call me a dumb bitch, babe?" Everyone gasped and Katsuki opened and closed his mouth like a fish. "Or maybe… I'm the Queen there?"
Katsuki god uncharacteristically quiet, eyes blown wide and deep blush coating his cheekbones.
Amazing.
"Aw…" Mina cooed, breaking the silence. "No need to get embarras—"
"I'M NOT EMBARRASSED!"
"If that's what it was intended for, then that's so sweet—"
"SHUT UP!"
"Aw dude, that would be the lamest pick-up line ever if you actually delivered it fully—"
"SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!"
It was hella amusing to see Katsuki so flustered… but Hitoshi wanted his attention on himself.
He stepped in front of his boyfriend and looped his arms around his neck lazily, forcing him to look him straight in the eyes.
"I'm happy to be your Queen if you'll be my King, Katsuki…" he whispered sultry, making sure that his voice was the right sort of deep, that the boom-boy reacted so well to. And he didn't disappoint.
He got even redder and violently shrugged Hitoshi's arms off himself, before blasting an explosion in his face. Fuck that hurt.
The insomniac opened his eyes to find Katsuki gone, and Mina hovering over him, asking something judging from the movement of her mouth, but the sound was lost in the post-explosion ringing in his ears.
"I'll be fine," he murmured in her general direction, hoping that she wouldn't notice his momentary loss of hearing. It wasn't anything serious and would go away in a few seconds, but they didn't know that. Katsuki didn't spare with them as much, and Kirishima couldn't know because his hardening also affects his hearing making the sounds more muddled, and his hearing less vulnerable.
Well, enough of thinking about the squad, Katsuki took priority.
This probably wasn't enough for him to be mad, but it was definitely pushing the boundary set, so they had to talk it out...
He broke into a mad sprint to Katsuki's room, more to stun the squad than because of any need for hurry, and surprisingly found it empty... But the door to his own room was open. Oh?
He smiled to himself, slowly going inside, only to find Katsuki bundled up in his favourite blanket and pouting heavily. Gah, so cute.
"Are you mad at me baby?" Hitoshi leaned on the doorframe with a smirk. Gosh, the blonde looked like a fussy kitten. And he grumbled something out of hearing range in an answer. "Sorry, you'll have to speak up."
Instead of raising his voice, Katsuki rose his hands to sign. [Sorry, I burned your dress.] Hitoshi looked down and, yeah a part of a shoulder strap was smoldered. Fuck. He rose his gaze back at his boyfriend again just in time to see him signing sorry again.
"It's alright, I'll have to buy some new ones soon anyway, I'm getting too buff for them." That much was true, he already had trouble with getting a dress that fit him, but it honestly was starting to get ridiculous as of lately. Well, puberty was starting to hit him like a hammer to his chagrin. But oh well. "Up for some cuddles?" he proposed lazily, fully expecting a growl or at least furious head shaking.
Not a nod and another blush.
Even so, he happily went to comply, and wrapped his arms around Katsuki's shoulders, sitting behind him. His head was at a convenient height to put his chin on it. Perfect.
"Again, sorry for blasting you."
"You didn't do anything too hard, it was lesser than usual during training, I'm fine." The temporary lack of hearing was going away.
"Well it wasn't fucking training," Hitoshi could hear his pout and frown even without seeing him.
"Yeah, but I knew I'll get some sparkles in my face when I tried to befriend you. It wasn't anything I couldn't take, it's chill." Katsuki snorted and shook his head.
"'Befriended' is a strong word."
"Oh shut, like you were any better at making friends." He snickered as the blonde tried to elbow him, but was blocked by a strained blanket. "At least I have you now," he whispered softly in Katsuki's hair.
It was a day of surprises it seemed though because he heard a reply.
"Me too." Was Hitoshi dreaming? "I... I know I don't show it much but I care a lot about you dumbass, okay?" he spoke hastily, but without wavering. Truth.
Hitoshi felt something warm uncurling in his chest and squeezed him a little tighter into the hug.
"I know. Me too, my King."