Akira is haunted by the ghosts of cocktails past

More ghouls—refugees—kept coming. Some had gone to ground at the first sign of rising pressure from the doves, some had barely escaped massacres, but they all arrived underground with the expectation that the One-Eyed King would be the one to save them.

Naturally, with increased numbers and the same amount of supplies came rationing. Akira didn't feel the pinch, but Amon kept her informed on the general temperature of things among the ghouls.

He'd proven to have some aptitude for creating the living kagune walls that had once been the bane of their existence on Whack-a-Mole missions. After a bit of coaching, he'd been put to work patrolling the borders of their compound and keeping everything secure. Akira liked that for him—all-in-all, it was a peaceful detail. She thought he deserved a break from fighting.

And, it gave him the chance to overhear gossip from ghouls that otherwise clammed up when they saw a human approaching.

"The newcomers keep spreading rumors about new CCG troops…I want to say it sounds like an urban legend, but…I also wouldn't put it past the current CCG. They're talking about child soldiers in all black, ones that work faster and more violently than anything the CCG has done before. Some of the things I've heard make me wonder if Kano was involved in their creation."

He was drinking coffee as she ate a granola bar for breakfast in the dining area. They'd gotten into the habit of sharing a few moments of quiet discussion most mornings, before their various tasks and meetings took them away from each other.

She thought as she chewed. "With how brutal they've gotten, I'd believe it. It's so strange, like the veneer of civility and justice is gone now, but no one even cares."

"We've always believed the end justifies the means," observed Amon. "This is just the inevitable conclusion."

"Unless you realize that nothing justifies the end," she muttered. "And how's food down here?"

"It's not good news," he said. "We're essentially in a slow siege. Supplies are going first to the front-line fighters, then to the children and anyone who helps with cleaning and maintenance down here, but the ones in the middle are starting to feel the squeeze. Ghouls eat less frequently than humans, so it'll take a bit longer to starve them out, but…"

Akira nodded. "But starving out ghouls in a siege will get even nastier than starving out humans." She looked over at Amon. "How are you holding up? Do you think this was all a huge mistake yet?"

He shook his head. "As soon as you lose hope, you concede the fight."

She knew he meant what he said in the poetic, metaphysical sense, but she'd been reading history books to try and educate herself on the shape of war, the paths it could take. She knew that it wasn't numbers or weapons that decided a war, it was ultimately hope. Even if you were at a disadvantage, if you could break your enemy's spirit, you could win.

That begged the uneasy question, though: what would Furuta do to try and break their spirit?

She zoned back in to what Amon was saying. "—with me this evening?"

"Just go without me," she sighed. "I'm busy for most of the afternoon, I'm not sure when I'll be getting there."

He frowned at her.

After breakfast, Amon went to help set up for the party and Akira…

Akira was stuck in a strategy meeting—

—and slowly beginning to think she may have said something wrong to Amon at breakfast.

Suddenly, former CCG investigators, Aogiri executives, and…baristas…were sitting in the same room, discussing how to go about their project of creating a whole new way of life for ghouls and humans…or at least deciding on a next step.

Akira was not a power-hungry woman, and she did not seek out positions of leadership as a rule. That was probably why people kept trusting her with authority. She'd begrudgingly accepted moderating these types of discussions. It seemed like the kind of thing a kingmaker would do, and her experience with CCG meetings meant she had practice imposing some sort of order when needed. She was a firm believer in doing all parts of a job well—even the parts that made her want to tear her hair out.

"What we need to do," growled Ayato, "is go on the warpath. We have so much power on our side. We need to make them pay for thinking they could wipe us out."

Nishiki replied in a bored tone, "Then what? You cause a lot of damage, take a lot of hits, to gain what? We've got to be smarter than that."

"No warpath," said Kaneki. "But we can't sit down here reacting forever, either. We need to make some move."

Akira looked over the room. Hinami, sitting in the back, and trying not to take up too much space, had the look of a shy child with something to say.

"Fueguchi. You have an idea, I can tell. Just say it."

The girl startled as all eyes turned on her. "Oh. Well…I was just thinking…that Takatsuki had the right idea, putting her message in a book. If we try to post anything online, it'll be censored immediately…but once her book was printed, the only way to get rid of it is to physically destroy it. And the CCG can't do that remotely like they can with digital stuff. So it was a smart move."

Kaneki nodded. "But it's not like we have easy access to anywhere we could throw a manifesto together…or anything to put in a manifesto."

Hinami cleared her throat. "Um, some of the ghouls who just arrived from that warehouse district by the water said they knew where a building full of unsold books was…they saw a bunch of King Bileygr copies taken there. That's where the extra copies ended up after they were pulled from the shelves."

After a moment of thought, Akira added, "Historically, civilian opinions don't matter much during a coup, but it could be laying important groundwork for the future."

Kaneki thought. "It's not much, but at least it's something. We can put together a team to get ahold of those books. Leave them on trains, in parks, on benches…Takatsuki caused a stir. We don't want to let that spark she lit go out so easily."

Hinami nodded, a hint of a smile on her face.

Miza snorted. "That's it? You think passing out a few books is going to have any effect? The only thing those doves understand is blood. We need to attack someone to send a real message." She didn't miss the glance the diminutive ghoul sent her way.

Kaneki stared him down. "I said no."

"Whatever you say, king," sneered one of the Cochlea escapees in the back.

"I think we should adjourn the meeting for now," Akira jumped in.

The room cleared out, leaving only Akira and the One-Eyed King.

He looked dejected.

She said, "I'm not worried about you being a tyrant. You're not chasing power, you're chasing the good that power can achieve. Just be sure to keep those things separate."

Akira had thoughts on the other matters at hand, but she didn't want to voice them publicly. It was important to present a united front.

She cleared her throat and got Kaneki's attention. "The true strength of the CCG is their ability to mobilize and coordinate huge operations. You'll never match them on that front, but there's a weakness…You know what it is, right?" Just because he was now their leader didn't remove her desire to be pedagogic when the opportunity arose.

He thought for a moment. "It's a top-down approach. Cut off the head, and the boots on the ground become useless and disorganized."

She continued. "The people at the top are controlling, and they hate decentralizing command. Organization beats chaos in war every time. You'll never out-organize the CCG, but you can cause chaos for them. To really go toe-to-toe, you need encounters that exploit their weaknesses and play to your strengths."

He nodded. "We're a lot more suited to guerrilla-style operations, with smaller autonomous units."

"Exactly. Get together a group of generals you trust. Put them in charge of small units. Make sure they understand your orders and their limits but leave mission command in their hands. Stay dynamic, be ready to pivot in a way the CCG can't keep up with. That book mission will be a good start." She gathered up the notes she'd taken and stood to leave.

"I think I have a short list. I want to start sending them topside for resupply and recon, but also to continue destroying the quinques of any CCG personnel they find."

Akira nodded. "If you keep defanging them without killing them, it'll both chip away at their strength and send the exact message you want. It'll also put them in the position to depend more on us the next time the Clowns attack."

"What's the long game, though? Taking Furuta out of the picture doesn't change the CCG. It would probably just splinter into smaller factions until a new chairman is found."

Akira hesitated, but maybe it was time to play this particular card. "I have someone. He's not affiliated with Furuta, he's on the run from the CCG right now, too. If conditions were right, he could be installed and…maybe he wouldn't be an ally, but at least he wouldn't be an enemy."

"Who?"

She took a deep breath. "Marude. The catch is, he can't have any involvement with us whatsoever. His credibility hasn't been compromised by making deals with you. He'll be ready to take over the CCG after Furuta is ousted, to prevent a power vacuum. But first he's got to stay alive and his reputation as an investigator needs to be absolutely spotless."

He slumped in his chair. "But how do we go about ousting Furuta? Everything we know says he has a stranglehold on the CCG and the media."

"Get me a rifle. I'm not a world-class sniper, but I'm a pretty good shot. If we can get into position to assassinate him, I'll do it." She felt the irony of it nipping at her conscience, after her morning discussion with Amon about how the end didn't justify the means, but she swept it aside.

"I don't know, something's off about him. He seemed to bounce back after Cochlea too quickly." Kaneki frowned. "Starting off a regime change with an assassination won't win us any support."

"He has to die and someone has to kill him. An honorable duel or an assassination—it doesn't matter to me how it happens. Getting blood on my hands doesn't bother me. Other people can handle the PR spin."

He shook his head. "It's crossing a line. How you win matters."

Akira crossed her arms. "I think you're wrong. I'm not going to coddle you on this. You still don't want to make the hard choices required of you. I've told you before, that kindness will get you killed."

"But after…you're just setting up for humans and ghouls to switch places without actually fixing anything." Kaneki looked at her, an agonized expression on his face. "Akira…I know you've always been a lot more sensitive than other people see…things actually affect you a lot. But lately, some of the stuff you've said has me wondering if you're doing okay."

Kimi's mention of compassion fatigue flitted through Akira's mind. "Maybe you're right. But I'm also better at compartmentalizing than most people. This is a war. There's no way around the hard choices. If I have to do the ugly, necessary things no one else wants to do, then that's just how it goes."

He sighed. "I'll tell Nishiki to try to find you a gun on the next resupply run. This isn't approval, though."

If anyone could get a rifle in her hands, it was Nishiki. He'd proven to be an excellent quartermaster in a short period of time. She smiled. "It's a step in the right direction. Now, go get ready. I hear that there's some sort of party happening soon."

As far as parties went, Akira had been to far fancier events. This one—thrown together in haste, poorly catered, no dress code—still turned out fantastic. Everyone underground was so excited for something to look forward to, that the evening could never be anything other than enjoyable.

She was in a simple navy blue cocktail dress. It was the lone impractical garment she'd brought with her out of some distant hope of one day wearing it again. At least it ended up being useful after all, she thought as she watched Kaneki and Touka get presented to the crowd.

Soon after, she grabbed a box of sake and circled the room once, greeting everyone she recognized. It was the same tactic she used at CCG events to give the impression of being a team player, while wasting as little time on small talk as possible.

Bare minimum of socializing complete, she backed towards the wall.

Kaneki was hiding in a quiet corner. He'd taken charge of a sleeping Ichika so Touka could spend some time with Yoriko. He was happily watching the revelry.

"What are you doing over here?"

"Thinking." He smiled. "Life is strange. To end up here…after everything…I never imagined any of this when I first stopped in Anteiku because I wanted to drink some coffee while I went over my notes after class one day."

"I know what you mean. I keep thinking back to when I first started…all the late nights I spent trying to prove I belonged there, trying to figure out a lead on the Gourmet, Rabbit…and especially this Eyepatch punk. That was just the beginning of such a long road." She considered for a moment. "I don't recognize her anymore, and she wouldn't recognize me."

"But…it's not all bad, right? When I think back to my life before I met Rize, it was…very small, very constrained. It's not like that anymore. And I've been through a lot of horrible things since then, but also a lot of incredible things."

They both looked at the cavern, where the party was in full swing. One group of drunks was swaying, arms around each other's shoulders, singing some song in front of the fire. Yomo, of course, was the ringleader.

Someone had rustled up a wireless speaker, and a guitar had ended up nearby for when the battery gave out. Kimi was trying to get a reluctant Nishiki to do some exuberant but amateurish swing dancing. At first he pouted, but after a moment got into it and appeared to be having fun.

Elsewhere, people had broken off in smaller groups, drinking and chatting. Take was keeping Shinohara company. They both were keeping an eye on the kids from Squad Zero, who were hollering and chasing each other around. One grabbed Hinami as she was mid-sentence with Ayato, spinning her through the dance area. Touka and Yoriko were laughing at a table on the side of the room, seeming just a little tipsy.

All there to celebrate together.

"Now life feels very big. It's overwhelming. It feels like I'll drown under it all sometimes."

"Don't get mopey on me, now."

He laughed. "I'm not trying to. There have been times when I was ready to die because I thought I was alone, or there wasn't much to live for…that I'd lost…so many people. Too many. I don't feel that way anymore, but…" He gazed out over the party. "If I still had to die for the right reasons, to protect everything I want to live for…I'd be okay with that."

She didn't miss the way his arms tightened around Ichika ever-so-slightly, the way he caught Touka's eye and smiled at her from across the room.

She wanted to stop him, say don't talk like that, or it won't come to that, but she was a bad liar. They weren't living in a fairy tale. So instead she said, "You're needed here. Don't be so eager to throw away your life. It's the only one you've got."

He nodded. "Yes, Investigator Mado."

She smirked, lost in nostalgia for a moment. "I know my father isn't well-liked here, but he was a good dad to me and he had some wisdom he tried to pass on. 'Even if it costs you your arms and legs, you keep fighting,' he'd say. I think you need to hear that a lot more than I ever did. Keep fighting."

He nodded again, this time with a bit of a smile. "Keep fighting," he repeated. "Understood, Investigator Mado."

She laughed and changed the subject. "Here. I'll take Ichika, you should go enjoy the party. You're one of the guests of honor."

He paused for a moment. "You think so?"

She reached over to gently grab the baby out of his arms. "Of course. Don't worry, I've babysat her plenty," she lied, badly. "Now go!"

For the humans, the ghouls had managed to find a keg. Someone had seen it in a movie once and decided it was necessary. Of course, no one knew how to work the tap and someone broke it almost immediately. She watched from a distance as they all had a very long, serious discussion about how to get the beer out.

Before the show was over, they'd probably spilled half the contents on the ground. A kagune was not a good option for that, it turned out.

Her eyes tracked Amon as he grabbed a couple of glasses from a table where Tsukiyama was enticing ghouls over to a table of bloodwine. He went to chat with Kurona—who had quietly slipped in and was watching from her own dark corner—making sure to include her at least for a brief moment before handing her a drink.

When he turned to head Akira's way, he snagged another glass from the ghoul in charge of the keg.

Amon walked up and handed her a glass of beer. It was mostly foam, it turned out. "Do you ever going to talk about the fact that you kissed me?"

The baby was sitting up on her lap, sleepily staring at all the activity and leaving Akira's hands fairly free. The blonde felt obligated to enjoy a few sips after all the effort that went into it.

In theory, she wanted to talk to him about that moment of abandon—maybe even have a reenactment—but in reality, she couldn't think of anything less pleasant than excavating her feelings like that. If she hadn't already had a drink, she probably would have shut down and found the first excuse she could to walk away.

But…she'd had just enough to lower her defenses.

She shrugged. With a casualness that belied her nerves, she said, "Sure, why not."

"You are excellent at giving mixed signals."

She nearly spat out her beer and set it aside on the table. "Are you dense?! What in the hell mixed signals are you talking about?"

"Well, if I had to, I'd start at the beginning, when we first met…that night we went out drinking and I helped you home because you were a bit…"

"A bit inebriated. I remember."

"Do you remember me helping you to your bed, and then you asking me not to go? I'll admit, I really thought about it for a moment. And then I realized that you thought you were talking to your father, asking him not to leave."

"No," she gasped.

"Yes."

"No, I didn't."

"You did."

"I would never."

"You did."

"That is an event that you hallucinated, and it never happened."

"It did."

She hid her face in her hands for a moment as she tried to process what he was saying. If Ichika wasn't in her lap, she would have stood and walked away right then and there. After what felt like an eternity, she finally spoke. "That was the only time I've ever had mojitos in my life."

"It certainly set the tone," he said dryly. "You're very good at saying things that seem to point in one direction, then holding me at arm's length or being too busy to talk to me for several days…it's very difficult to know where I stand with you."

"Oh," said Akira. "I'm not trying to be complicated. This has just been…the most stressful year of my life, and I've had a lot on my mind."

"I understand that, too. I don't blame you. But I'd like to put the mixed signals to rest. I can only take so much."

Akira looked down at the baby nodding off on her lap. The kid really limited her options. "I don't know if you noticed, but I'm babysitting at the moment. I can't really do anything that would put the mixed signals to a rest right now."

Thank goodness her cheeks were already rosy from the drink she'd had. It disguised the blush she felt, and dulled the embarrassment trying to creep up on her.

He smiled and just sat next to her. "That's alright, I'm patient."

They sat in companionable silence for a while, observing the party. At one point, Akira even leaned her head against his shoulder.

Though they were lurking back against the wall, they were not invisible. At some point Ichika's parents must have spotted them. They noticed the extravagantly dressed pair and stood to greet them.

Touka raced up, all the extra jewelry she wore clattering as she moved, and grabbed the drowsy baby. "I'll take her back now, thank you!"

She quickly handed the baby off to Kaneki. "Seriously, I won't always be around to do this shit for you," she hissed in Akira's ear then shoved the blonde back towards Amon. "You better go climb that man like a tree!"

Akira stumbled a bit but caught herself. She indignantly shook out the mussed skirt of her dress, shot a glare back at Touka, and looked up at Amon. He had the grace to pretend he hadn't heard anything.

"Would you like to dance?"

She stepped up to him and held out a hand, which he took. His other hand came to rest on her waist, warm fingertips running over her newest set of scars through the fabric of her dress. It was a shock to suddenly realize that she felt…safe and happy? If only for that moment. Two emotions that had been thin on the ground for her in the past few months.

"I thought you'd never ask," he replied.

Who do you think is the most likely culprit to bring an acoustic guitar and start playing Wonderwall?

I have wasted so much time trying to figure out what drink Akira had that night in the bar—it's unclear (to me) in the manga, it looks dead-on like a mojito in the anime though maybe some sort of shiso cocktail is a more likely culprit? But, I think a mojito is ultimately the funniest answer because who among us has not been laid low by rum?

Next week: Akira deals with the remainders