Jack had been by each day to spend quite a bit of time with John, helping in any way he could. After four days, Lisa was starting to feel more settled and comfortable with John. It was now a Saturday morning, and he'd been up every two hours, like clockwork for his feedings. She knew he was a really good baby; he hadn't been extremely fussy and had taken well to his formula. Lisa was almost waiting for the other shoe to drop, for his behavior to change into something like colic or not sleeping at all, but for the meantime, she was trying to rest when he did because she needed to recover too.
Lisa had just finished a hot shower and was trying to do her hair and put on a bit of makeup. She just felt better that way, no matter what. It was just her way, to be dressed and somewhat put together even made her feel better. She had no plans, but doing that little each morning had improved her mood at least. To her, it was like making the bed-it just helped to make things seem organized, cleaner, and put together, just as she wanted to feel. Her routine had been shortened greatly with John, and she currently had him just outside the bathroom asleep in his bouncy seat. She'd been experimenting with all of the different baby contraptions and liked having them all over the house.
She was just putting some powder on her face to even out her skin when her phone rang. She jumped on it immediately, afraid the shrill sound would wake John. It had been so loud it had made her jump, and as she tried to silence it, she looked to him and found he had moved in his seat, but he hadn't awakened.
"Hi, Jack," she said, with a slight sigh. He didn't know he'd almost caused a crying meltdown-from John, not Lisa, because she'd done her fair share of crying over the last few days too just with all of her emotions a mess.
"Morning, Lisa," Jack said. "I hope you weren't resting."
"No," she told him, "actually just trying to feel human. I just had a hot shower and finished getting dressed. John is sleeping."
"Glad to hear that," he told her. "Did he give you any trouble overnight?"
"Ahh, he was up at 12:15, 2:15, 4:15, and 6:15. After that I got up myself and am on maybe my third cup of coffee for the day. He is doing well," she told him.
"He and I had a little chat about behaving for you," Jack told her and chuckled. "Good start that he's listening. So, I know you've been at home all week, and I wanted to invite you to dinner at the house tonight," he explained. "Before you say anything, Lou and the kids are in Vancouver for a few days visiting Peter, and Amy and Ty are going out on some double date with some friend of Ty's from school. It would be nice and simple, and if it's warm enough, I thought maybe we could grill some steaks and eat outside, just quiet for John and for you too."
"Oh, well," she paused, thinking that it did sound nice to get out of the house. She had a long list of errands she needed to run, but she'd been putting them off. She was currently planning to run those either Monday or Tuesday. This would be her first outing with John. She'd not taken him away from Fairfield yet, and she knew that if she kept putting off taking John over to Heartland, it was only going to cause more issues. "That does sound nice. Yes," she said with a firm nod, "we will be there. I have some things to bring over anyway, some of that order I placed."
"Sounds great," he told her. "I appreciate it, Lise. You can come by anytime. We can eat early. Lou and the kids left early this morning."
"We'll come by this afternoon. Thanks, Jack," she said, and the two hung up.
After John finished his bottle at 3:00, Lisa started to get things ready to head over to Heartland. She had finally put together a diaper bag, shocked at the amount of things she needed in it. Just when she thought she'd stocked the bag appropriately, she would open a drawer in his room and discover something else that she had to have in the bag. After changing him over the last few days, she knew that one extra outfit was not enough; she had three. Lisa got John all buckled into his car seat, put everything in the car, and by the time she was ready to leave the house, it was well after 4:00. It had taken her quite some time to just get out the door, and she was tired from that. She first had to readjust the settings on her seat to drive; she'd had it so far back it shocked her she'd had to sit like that. Now that she was ready to go, baby strapped in, she took a deep breath, ready for her first trip out.
As Lisa drove down the long, winding driveway to Heartland, a driveway she'd always loved driving with the beautiful views, she was very much aware of every single bump in the road and kept looking back at John, waiting for a bump to wake him. Somehow he slept on, and she soon pulled up in front of the house. Jack was already outside, sitting on his front porch. He got up as the car approached and was waiting when she parked.
"Hi there," she told him after opening her door. He stood beside the car and held her door as she got out.
"Hi, how was your first trip out?" Jack knew she'd been home all week and kept commenting to her how much better she was looking each day. Her headache was still dull, but it wasn't anything keeping her up. She was taking her blood pressure medication and had a checkup in another month.
"Ahh, it was good, I suppose," she told him, gesturing to the car. "I never noticed every bump in the driveway until I was trying not to wake a newborn."
He chuckled at that, and she did too. She gestured to the picnic table, "You went all out." Jack looked back to the table and waved at it.
"Just set out the place settings and all. Steak sounded good, probably the last summer evening with the weather this nice, and I knew the red meat was good for you too," he told her.
"Yes, that is true, and I can't remember the last time I had steak," she told him. "So, thank you."
"Well, let's get him situated right now. If it's too chilly for him at dinner, we can always move inside," Jack told her.
"He should be fine, I think," she shrugged. "What do I know, though, but I do have a blanket to put over him if it's at all breezy. Right now, though, it's a nice afternoon."
Jack opened the door quietly, and as he did that, Lisa opened the back of her car to unload a few of the things she'd brought over too. Jack saw her with some of that, and he gestured for her to carry John in his car seat while he got the boxes.
"Lise, let me get those," he told her. "Just take John inside, and I'll get all of this."
Lisa was able to hold the door for him, and once they were both in the kitchen, neither seemed to know what to say. Lisa put John down in his seat on the table and glanced around at the always cozy home. Jack stacked the boxes on the counter and looked at her for direction.
"Umm, there's formula in that one," she indicated, "and I put extra bottles in there. The diapers are still in the car, and that middle box has that bedding, along with some extra clothes, wipes, and other things."
"Okay," he told her. "I'll tell you what," he offered her, "if you want to take care of the bedding for the cradle, I'll take everything outside for dinner. I'll get those steaks going, and we can eat maybe while he's sleeping."
She smiled, "If you can master that art, it will be impressive." The two had tried to sit and allow Lisa to eat each evening when Jack had stopped, but John had awakened at just about her first bite every night.
"I'll have a chat with him," Jack winked. He carried the box into his room, and Lisa followed him. He put the box down, glanced around, and he quickly stepped out and pointed to the kitchen. "I'll get things together. John should be fine there for a few minutes."
She just nodded, it being slightly awkward they were both standing there in his room. After Jack headed back to the kitchen, she started to unpack the bedding and glanced around at the room. It was always very tidy, and she spotted the cradle Jack had restored over in the corner. He'd had a chair there, a favorite of his, and that had been moved to the other corner where he'd had a really old desk. That desk was gone, and the chair, which really needed to go, but that wasn't something she could comment on, was there and would be a nice place for Jack to feed him late at night. She went to work, delighted the bedding fit and looked really sweet in the cradle. The cradle looked brand new after she had finished.
"Jack," she called to him. She could hear him in the kitchen moving around and humming. He stepped to the doorway, and she gestured to the cradle, "Looks great."
"Oh, wow, it does," he nodded and walked around the room to see it up close. He stood behind her and squeezed her shoulder. "Cows," he nodded, and she turned her head to see his.
"Well, you said you liked it, and they didn't have horse bedding," she explained.
"No, no," he shook his head. "I like it. Fits with it here. Glad that cradle has some life left in it."
"It looks new," she told him. "I think it's really sweet your own grandfather made it, very special, Jack." That moment ended with John waking up and crying from the kitchen. Jack pointed to him.
"I've got him," he told her.
"I'll finish with these boxes," she nodded. As Lisa cleaned up from unpacking the bedding and got out the other things for Jack, she noted he'd put a changing pad at the end of his dresser. She took care of putting John's diapers and wipes nearby, acknowledging Jack would probably want to shift things around. Lisa sighed at the picture he had on his dresser, one from a cattle drive years ago, both of them on their horses, their horses standing next to each other, and Jack and Lisa both leaning in toward each other and smiling for the camera. It was such a nice picture with a very happy memory from that day. It hadn't been her first cattle drive; she'd been on a few, and she'd remembered very fondly, a cattle drive prior to the one in the picture where she'd told Jack she'd loved him. It now seemed like so long ago; it was years ago. She heard Jack moving about with John and suspected he needed a diaper change, so she walked out toward the kitchen before it was awkward in his room again.
"Umm, I have some things for his bath," she said, holding up the stack of baby towels.
Jack had John on his shoulder and was patting his back, walking toward her, "He needs to be changed."
She hooked her hand over her shoulder, "I put some diapers and all in there by that changing pad."
"Thanks, ahh, Lou had that from Katie. She also pulled out a baby bathtub, when she heard I planned to just use the sink."
Lisa tried to hide her feelings on that too. She knew that was Jack's preference, not that there was anything wrong with it, but she was very much in favor of a baby bathtub too. They'd watched Katie together enough both knew what the other thought about giving a baby a bath. She appreciated he was trying with the baby tub. He gestured toward the bathroom.
"It's in there, top shelf right now. Lou made a space for it," he told her.
"Alright," she nodded, holding up the baby products. "Baby wash and shampoo. Just don't use regular things right now."
"Okay," he said with a single nod and gestured to John again. "I'll be back with a clean diaper."
Once John was changed, and the dinner prep was ready, Jack started the grill, and Lisa sat on the picnic table with John in her arms. They made small talk as he cooked the steaks, and with both of them liking their steaks medium-rare, it didn't take long to fix them. Jack brought out the rest of the food he had inside-baked potatoes, green beans, and a salad. Once the food was on the table, Lisa put John in his car seat there on the table so they could both try and eat. John was awake, for the moment, but quiet.
"Oh," Jack put his finger in the air and ran inside. Lisa chuckled when he brought out a blanket she had on the diaper bag for John. He fussed a little but quieted when Jack took care of the blanket. Jack also produced a bottle of wine she hadn't seen him carrying with the blanket.
"Care for some wine?" Jack asked her.
Her eyes widened, "I'd love some. Gosh, I haven't had any in months and months. I've almost forgotten how much I enjoy it. Thank you," she said with a warm smile. He poured a glass for each of them, and then grew quiet as they started to eat.
Lisa took a long sip of her wine, humming as she did. She nodded at Jack, "That hits the spot. Very tasty. What is that one?" He handed her the bottle, and she studied it from afar, no glasses nearby. She finally shook her head, "I'll have to read that later."
"Lou brought it home awhile back," he told her. "She and I had a long talk one night with that bottle. Anyway, I thought you'd like it."
"Delicious, and the steak is too. Thank you for dinner," she said, looking up to see that John had nodded off now. She met Jack's gaze and nodded in John's direction. He looked too and grinned.
"Told you I would speak to him about being good through dinner. Glad he listened."
"Hmm, we'll see how long that lasts," she winked at him, sipping at her wine again.
"So," he said, fidgeting and looking at her and then down, "uhh, Val stopped by today and brought some wine."
Lisa almost spit out her wine. She choked on it in the glass, and coughed at it, making a little bit of a scene. "Sorry, what?"
"Val," he nodded and rolled his eyes. "Sorry, I should have waited to tell you when you weren't enjoying that nice glass of wine, but I did want to tell you."
"Wait," Lisa pointed to the glass and looked absolutely horrified, "did she bring this? Jack-"
"No!" Jack exclaimed and instantly looked bashfully at John worried he been too loud. "I'd never do that to you, Lise. She came by at lunch, wanting to bring a gift for John and wanting to celebrate with me and that wine was what she brought."
"She did, huh?" Lisa now sat back and crossed her arms, studying Jack.
"She wanted to see him, and then, I got this big lecture from her about how I should fight for custody of him."
Lisa tensed up and caught her breath, looking away toward the barn and nodded, pursing her lips.
"Lise," he called, she wasn't sure how many times, but she finally turned back and saw him there, pleading with her. "I'm telling you what she said, Lise, not what she convinced me I should do. There's a big difference." He gave her a soft smile, and she let out her breath and nodded. She tried to be discreet and wipe at her eye, but Jack, knowing her, reached across and squeezed at her wrist, nudging her to look at him.
"Jack," she finally said, her voice wavering, "Val has this vendetta with me. She's always waited in the shadows to swoop on in. Just please tell me-"
"It might have taken me some time, but I'm aware of what Val is doing, Lisa," he told her, giving her a soft smile.
"Just please don't let her spend extended time with John, please Jack," she asked.
"Course not," he nodded. "You will be glad to know I sent her and her wine," he carefully stated, "on the way. I was working on the tractor and in the middle of an oil change, so it was a good excuse to not take a break, not that I wanted to sit here and have a glass of wine with Val, with most people honestly."
"Well," she said, letting out a long breath and holding up her glass, "glad I make the cut."
He winked, "No cuts when there's only one entry permitted."
The rest of dinner flowed well. Lisa didn't spit out any more of her wine, and both enjoyed the meal. John slept, and they laughed at some of the little faces he made while he was dreaming. Once dinner was over, Jack stood to collect the plates.
"Oh, I'll get them," she told him. "You made dinner."
"Absolutely not," he told her. "You did that," he nodded to John. "You rest, and I'll be right back. I have dessert."
"Dessert?" Lisa questioned as he walked to the house. "I didn't see a pie out." He nodded back to her, and she sat and enjoyed the quiet evening.
Jack returned with dessert, not pie, but a cheesecake. He put it on the table, "I can't take credit for making this, and I wouldn't know how to make a cheesecake, but I know you like it. This one is from Maggie's."
"Oh, I haven't had cheesecake in ages either. Thank you," she said rubbing her hands together. "Although," she frowned meeting his gaze, "the goal now is to trim back down, not continue to put on weight. I have a feeling losing any baby weight at my age is going to be rough. It's already a time most women my age put on weight as it is, and now add in having a baby." She shook her head.
"Lise," he made a face and looked at her, "you had a baby just over a week ago. I'd say you are looking better than any woman you age regardless of anything they have going on. You don't have to worry. I'm hoping you still want some cheesecake."
She blushed at the compliment, but laughed nodding, "Sure, I suppose it is what it is right now."
John woke up while they were eating their cheesecake and enjoying coffee now with their dessert. Jack, who had brought out a bottle ready to go with the coffee, gestured to John.
"I'll feed him if you don't mind. Finish your meal."
Lisa sipped at her coffee and just enjoyed watching Jack feed John. He was doing a really good job with him, better than she herself felt she was doing with John. Jack seemed so relaxed and natural, while she still felt very much on edge. She just stared at the two, snapping out of it, when she caught Jack looking at her.
"You okay?" Jack asked, trying to burp John in the middle of his bottle.
"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm fine. You are really good with him. I was just sitting here thinking how awkward I still feel with him."
"What are you talking about? You've been great with him, Lise. For not being around a lot of kids other than Katie, you are a total natural, not to mention you know everything to order, everything he needs. Lise you are the best mom I've seen."
She rolled her eyes, "I didn't feel like it when it took me over an hour to get out of the house. I seriously underestimated how long it would take me to get my act together. John was amazing. I can't imagine what it will be like on a day he's crying or just not having it."
"It was your first trip out of the house. You are so organized, and his bag has everything he could possibly need. Trust me, I was looking for a burp cloth and found what, four or so. Stop being hard on yourself. Your bad day is better than most people's best effort with anything, so I am 100% sure that you are doing much better than you will ever give yourself credit. Now," he paused and waited for her to look at him, "on that note, please let him stay here with me tonight. Please. I am saying that because I want to spend time with him but also to help you, and I mean that. You've been up with him every two hours since he came home from the hospital. You're doing a great job, but I need to shoulder some of this too. It's time you get some rest and allow me to do some of this all night stuff. Can you let me, just for tonight to start? We have to start somewhere. The house will be quiet, and I want you to go home, relax, take a good long hot shower, and get some sleep. Don't do any work. Don't do anything but just rest. You've been through it too, even as much as you want to just push forward and jump back into things at 100%. Please, Lise."
Lisa took a very long breath as she closed her eyes. She opened them to find Jack there, watching her with a sympathetic face. She looked at John in his arms, so content, and she nodded, knowing she had to do this.
"Okay," she nodded again. "This will be about the hardest thing I have to do, and it has nothing to do with my trust in you."
"I know," he nodded. "I do know."
"Let me help you clean up," she offered, and with that, they stood. Jack passed John back to her to hold while he offered to finish carrying things inside. Lisa followed him and sat in the kitchen while he worked, just holding John and talking to Jack. When he was done, he turned, and she knew she should go. He needed his own time too.
"I'll get going then," she said, standing and kissing John's head as she inhaled his sweet little baby scent. "Be good for Dad," she told him. "I'll see you tomorrow." She looked to Jack, confirming that, and he nodded.
"Of course," he told her. "I'll call you in the morning."
She handed him off to Jack and patted Jack's arm, "Have a good night. Call if you need anything."
"We will," he told her. "You don't have to run off."
"Yes," she bit her lip and nodded. "I do. Bye," and with that, she walked out, didn't look back, and she got into her car. She made it to the end of the driveway, to the main road, before she started sobbing. She sat there and just sobbed. She'd left her whole heart at Heartland.