Chapter 33: The Flight

The plane ride back to Washington was anxiety inducing.

I'd wanted to just run back to La Push, but Paul's exhaustion from running across the country to Boston had caught up with him. I'd half-jokingly offered to carry him back to La Push, but he'd laughed and refused, saying that it would hurt his pride too much to have me carry him all the way back.

I'd wrapped myself up in one of Paul's hoodies both to conceal my glistening skin from the sun and to aid in concealing the scent of the humans in the airport lounge and on the plane with us. His scent was strong enough on his sweater that it did a good job of masking the smell of the other passengers' blood. I'd also worn a pair of huge, black, sunglasses to conceal my bright red eyes.

We'd gotten a few wide-eyed looks from people as we'd made our way through the airport—probably assuming that I was some celebrity and that Paul was my security guard.

Little did they know, though, that he was protecting them from me.

It wasn't a very long flight, but being in a confined space with a bunch of humans was not something I was excited for. Before we'd even boarded the plane, we'd sat together in the airport lounge and I'd anxiously bounced my leg and spun my ring on my finger the entire time.

Paul's hand on mine was firm as we'd waited to board and after we'd settled into our seats on the plane. We'd decided on purchasing first class tickets so that there would hopefully be more space between us and the other people on the flight.

I took the window seat so that Paul's scent would create more of a barrier between the humans and me.

It didn't help to ease my anxiety, though.

If my thirst got the best of me while we were on the plane, there would be nothing I could do to stop myself from causing a bloodbath and I wasn't super confident in whether or not Paul would be able to hold me off.

"You'll be fine," he said gently, sensing my anxiety. "Hold your breath if you have to."

I nodded and cut off my airflow. I hated that I felt the need to hold my breath for the duration of the flight, but there was no way I'd be able to stay in control after being on such a bender for the past two months.

"I didn't want to tell you this, but I think it'll help distract you from trying to feed from everyone on this flight," Paul murmured low enough so that only I would hear him. I raised a brow at him, wondering what on earth he'd be reluctant to tell me at this point. "Sue's picking us up from the airport."

My eyes widened and my stomach tightened. "She is?!"

He nodded. "She knew I was coming after you and asked me to let her know how everything went. When I told her we'd be heading back to La Push, she demanded that I let her pick us up."

"She's probably not very pleased with me, is she?" I asked.

"She was worried about you," he corrected. "While you were gone, she kept asking me if I wanted her to try calling you but I told her not to. Now, Leah on the other hand…"

I closed my eyes, thinking back to the conversation on Emily's porch the day I'd first met her.

I just…I need to know that you're not going to hurt him.

That was what she'd said to me. She'd been completely fine with me, a vampire, dating one of her pack brothers. We'd bonded over our shared immortality and what that meant for us as women.

Now I'd gone and ruined that. I'd done exactly what she'd asked me not to do by leaving him and hurting him in the process. I'd known that Paul wasn't going to be the only person I'd upset by leaving, but at the time I'd thought I wasn't going to be returning to him. I hadn't thought about what would happen if I had to face Leah and Sue again.

And then, the thought of Jared entered my mind. We'd made a tiny bit of progress before I left and I was sure that had been completely ruined in my departure as well.

"Hey," Paul said, turning my face towards his. "It won't be as bad as you think."

I took a shallow breath to avoid inhaling the scent of the other passengers. "I just feel like the half of La Push that didn't hate me before, hates me now. You just implied that Leah isn't happy with me and she was one of the few people who actually liked me."

"She's just angry," he said. "She'll get over it when you explain why you left."

"Is she even going to let me explain?" I mumbled.

"She will," he promised. "She might just need some time to come around."

"And I'm sure Jared is less than pleased with me too," I muttered.

"Actually…he didn't seem that angry," Paul said. "I think he understood why you did what you did. I was surprised that he wasn't saying anything bad about you at first—I thought it was just because he was happy you were gone and didn't want to piss me off. When he showed me the letter you left for him, he was urging me to go after you so I think he's warmed up to you a lot."

"Yeah, before I entered your apartment that night, we exchanged words," I said. "He thanked me for saving him during the newborn fight and sort-of apologized for how he'd been acting towards me."

"A 'sort-of' apology…that sounds like Jared," he chuckled. I lifted the arm rest between us and snuggled close to him. He put his arm around my shoulders and held me even closer to him. "I'm sorry if telling you about Sue made you anxious, but I figured you'd rather know ahead of time."

"You're right, I would rather know what I'm walking into," I said quietly. "Thank you for the warning."

"Trust me, Sue isn't going to be bad at all," he said. "Like I said, I had to stop her from calling you because of how concerned she was about you."

"I'm not used to someone being worried about me like that," I admitted quietly.

He kissed the top of my head. "I was worried about you too, you know."

"I know," I said. "I was doing everything I could to stop myself from worrying about you. Otherwise I would've run right back to La Push to make sure you were okay."

"That wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world," he murmured.

"You wouldn't have seen me," I said.

"I would've known that you'd returned," he said without missing a beat.

"How?"

"I would've known," he said.

"The imprint can tell you that?"

I felt him nod. "I would've felt something change…I would've felt you getting closer and closer to me and I wouldn't have been able to rest until I saw you."

"I guess I'm not as sneaky as I think I am when you're involved," I said.

He laughed. "You can't get past me. It's one of the few perks of being the way I am."

"Well, at least we're stuck like this together," I said.

He laughed. "That's the biggest perk I can think of."

Paul was amazing for the rest of the flight. Anytime he could sense that I was starting to feel anxious, he'd gently stroke my hair and tighten his hold on me. He distracted me by joking around with me and once in a while he'd whisper how proud of me he was.

As the plane began its' descent into Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, I felt my anxiety rising even more than it had on the plane—which I hadn't thought was possible.

Despite Paul telling me that Sue wasn't upset with me, I couldn't help but feel anxious about seeing her again. She would have gotten a firsthand look at how my departure affected Paul and I knew I wasn't ready to face that.

We waited for everyone else to exit the plane before Paul grabbed our carry-ons from the overhead compartment. Luckily we were used to packing lightly, so we didn't have to wait for any checked luggage.

He led me through the airport, somehow finding the route that was least crowded for us to weave through.

I felt Sue's presence before she was within our line of sight.

It wasn't that I smelled her blood or anything like that—I heard her heartbeat and I could feel her motherly presence as we got closer and closer to her.

It was a strange feeling to have; I'd never known that I was able to single out a person in a crowded airport just by the rhythmic sound of their heartbeat and pulse. Normally in situations like this, I was hyper focused on not causing a bloodbath.

Sue's heartbeat was even and steady as she awaited our arrival. Oddly enough, knowing that we were getting closer to her calmed my nerves a little bit. I knew that she wouldn't be angry with me—I just hoped that she'd understand why I did what I did.

We turned a corner and the arrivals gate came into view. My eyes found Sue immediately. She stood on her own, clasping her hands tightly against her chest. Even from afar, I could see the lines of worry etched into her beautiful face.

As soon as she saw us, her whole face lit up. I watched as the worry seemed to melt away from her and her shoulders relax. She came straight for us and wrapped her arms tightly around me.

I was nearly overcome with emotion as she held me in her arms, the warmth of her motherly embrace engulfing me.

She pulled back from me and put her hands on either side of my face, forcing me to meet her eyes through my sunglasses. "Are you okay?"

I nodded vigorously, oddly finding it hard to speak. She furrowed her brow slightly and reached for my sunglasses, clearly wanting to pull them off my face so she could actually see me, but my hand shot up to hers and grasped her wrist to stop her from pulling them off of my face.

"What's wrong?" she asked gently.

"You…you don't want to see what I've become," I whispered.

I watched as the realization dawned on her, clarity forming in her eyes. "Natalie…"

"You don't have to say anything," I whispered.

"We will help you," she said firmly. "Don't think you have to do this on your own, okay?"

"Okay."

"Sue, we should get out of here," Paul said, glancing around us. More people had filtered into the arrivals area and it was slowly becoming packed. Sue nodded once and swiftly led us out of the airport to where she'd parked her car.

We loaded our bags into the trunk of Sue's car and she turned to Paul. "How do you feel about driving, Paul?"

He hesitated and glanced at me. "Yeah, I can drive."

"I'd like to sit with Natalie for the ride home, if you wouldn't mind," she said, making my stomach turn slightly.

"I wouldn't mind at all," he said. He glanced back to me. "Are you okay with that?"

"Of course," I said.

Sue grasped my hand and squeezed it, giving me a reassuring smile before tossing her keys to Paul. She and I sat in the back seat together while Paul got into the driver's seat and started the car.

As Paul sped away from Seattle Airport, Sue turned to me. "Let me see."

"Sue, I don't know if that's—" Paul started before I cut him off.

"It's okay," I said. "I can't hide behind these glasses forever." I took a deep breath and pulled the glasses away from my face before hesitantly meeting Sue's eyes.

If she was shocked by what she saw, she hid it extremely well. Her expression remained neutral as she took in the red eyes that I'd somehow grown used to over the course of the past little while.

Sue grasped my hands and squeezed them tightly. "Like I said in the airport, we're here for you no matter what."

"I really appreciate that, Sue," I said.

"Tell me about your travels," she said. "Was it nice to go back home?"

Grateful for the change in subject, I rattled off details about what I'd been doing over the course of the past two months, omitting the darker side of my trip. Her eyes lit up when I told her about seeing my family at the cemetery.

"It's too bad you couldn't talk to them," she said.

"Hearing their conversation with Paul was enough," I said. "To know that my sister and her family are all healthy and happy meant more than anything else."

Sue squeezed my hand tightly. "I can see how much it meant to you to see them."

"My niece…she named her daughter after me," I said quietly. "Without ever having met me…she did that for my sister."

I saw tears glistening in Sue's eyes but she blinked them away. "That must have warmed your heart a little bit."

I laughed humourlessly. "Sue, my heart doesn't beat. It doesn't work."

"Your heart absolutely works," she said, glancing at Paul.

I followed her gaze and knew that she was right. I'd been so hyper focused on trying to numb myself from the ache in my heart that had been caused when I'd left Paul that I'd almost forgotten how much I loved him.

Paul must have felt my eyes on him because he glanced back at me and sent a warm smile my way before turning his attention back to the road. I met Sue's eyes again and I saw the motherly warmth in them as she saw the look Paul and I had given each other. She could see how deeply our connection went and I was sure she could already see a change in Paul since we'd been reunited.

I was extremely tempted to ask her what it was like while I was gone, but I was sure that'd be a conversation we'd have at a later date. For now, it was enough to sit in the back seat of her car with her as we drove back to the one place I would always call home.