𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖗

She hoped to be wise and reasonable in time; but alas! Alas! She must confess to herself that she was not wise yet.

— Jane Austen, Persuasion

I had thought that I had conquered it: that the pain of leaving Glorfindel would be forever with me, but tolerable. Something I could manage. It seemed there were many things I was wrong about. Valar Above, how I wanted to see him again. Valar Above, how I dreaded seeing him again.

As soon as Erestor told us his news, I bolted upright, and dashed off, my head full of noise. After I was at a reasonable distance, I threw up behind a tree, then miserably buried it. I dragged myself to the river, and washed the taste of vomit from my mouth, and scrubbed my dirty hands. The cold water was refreshing, but my heart was thudding in my chest, skipping beats and aching. It was tempting to throw myself in the river and float away. But I had done enough running lately. I could face him, couldn't I?

I realised someone was behind me and jumped.

"Minnow. You left me, too. Am I not your friend?" said a voice. It was Erestor. He towered over me as I crouched on the ground by the river. He looked stern and grim, but I knew he was merely hurt.

"I'm sorry. Forgive me. I felt I had to," I said, as I got up. I miserably looked him in. Erestor was not happy, I thought. He had a wounded look about him.

"I looked everywhere for you," he said. "I was worried." All I could do was sigh and look at him plaintively.

"I am sorry. I got lost, and I went to Cardolan. The winter there was bad. And… I was not thinking."

"I would have helped you, if only you'd asked, Minnow," he said, mournfully.

"I never would have left otherwise," I told him. "I never thought I'd see him again," I whispered, almost to myself.

"I did not expect to find you here," Erestor told me.

"No, I suppose not. Oh, everything is a mess!" I said after a pause and threw myself down on the grass.

He sat down on the riverbank next to me.

"It's like living in a nightmare," he agreed.

Perhaps it had been naive of me to think that Glorfindel would never visit Elrond or the new Elvish colony he was trying to establish. But Glorfindel had also refused to leave Lindon with me - citing his responsibilities to his king. I had not thought he would leave - at least not for some time. Five years was nothing to him - so was fifty. But circumstances changed, I supposed. I had changed. Hopefully for the better, but perhaps I was just different. I hadn't asked Elrond about Glorfindel, although I had listened so attentively to everything he had said about leaving Lindon - which was scarcely anything. I had thought that Glorfindel and I would live apart and he would be satisfied with fulfilling his duties - and his purpose - as I grew older, and eventually died. And that would have to be enough.

How like my father I was, I thought, miserably, as I tried to sleep that night. Selfishly and wantonly pursuing a relationship with someone who would have to live with the consequences forever. I should have ignored my feelings for him. I should have let him go. And yet, I couldn't quite find myself regretting loving Glorfindel - it was such a big part of me.

And yet, why had he come here? Why was he accompanying Celebrian of all people? After all that had happened? To visit Elrond? I wanted to know so badly, and I wanted to see him again - and touch him and smell him and feel the brightness of his glow - and I also never wanted to see him again because it would hurt so damn much.

Be brave, I told myself, as the sun started to rise. I hadn't managed to sleep.

Elrond and I stood in the dip of the valley beside the river, awaiting his guests. Erestor had joined the group of men working on the Homely House, and had left us to welcome the guests alone. In truth, Imladris was not in a state to welcome visitors - especially such exalted ones, but if they wanted to visit the work-in-progress, then that was their choice. Elrond said they would come with tents and supplies. He kept fidgeting.

"I'm going to throw up again," I murmured. Elrond's vision was not as strong as other Elves, but he said he saw some horses far making their way down to our valley.

"I am not too proud to admit that I did exactly the same an hour ago," he replied, much to my surprise.

"Oh Elrond, what is to become of us?" I cried, looking at him.

"I dare not let myself hope again that she may find some room in her heart for me," he said. I did not know what to say. I wanted him to have his happiness, but I was not sure that it would be with her. Sometimes I thought they were suited - and other times, I thought her unworthy of him. And what we want is not always what we get - or what we need, I thought sadly.

"There is always hope," I replied, softly.

Elrond sighed. "I can see them now. It is Princess Elwen, and one of the Dunedain lords - Lord Aradon, I presume, with a group of ten soldiers," he said. I sighed, too, relieved, and waited for them to come into view

"Thank the Valar," I said and Elrond concurred. I felt happy enough to smile as my friend rode up, glad to see her again.

Elwen was grinning widely, and her cheeks were flushed. I rushed to meet her, and she swung down from her horse and into my arms. I felt such a rush of relief in her embrace. And to my surprise, I was smiling.

'I did not look to see you in Rivendell!" I said, as we broke apart. She was glowing with happiness - indeed, I didn't think I had ever seen her in such good spirits.

"My husband wishes to speak to Lord Elrond, and naturally, who but me to make the introduction. Oh, Minnow! We are married! But I'm still a princess!"

I laughed. "I am glad to see you, too, Lord Aradon." He had swung down from his saddle too, and bowed at me the Elvish way.

Lord Aradon smiled wryly. "Well met. It is good to see you."

I let Elwen make the introductions to Elrond, who received them graciously, and was eyeing Aradon with approval. I'm glad he thought better of him than Elwen's two brothers - she had married someone who would only improve her - and I thought that her charm and liveliness would also rub off on him.

As Elrond directed the men to where they could stable their horses, and set up their tents, he gave the visitors a tour. Aradon knew a few of our Numenorians, and they had lots to catch up about. He had come to visit Elrond for a few reasons: mostly for Elrond's counsel, but also to share news. In the marriage of Elwen of Gondor and Arnor to the Chieftain of the Numenorians, he had been given stewardship of the North - in perpetuity. It seemed he had driven a hard bargain in regards to Elwen's dowry. It could only be a good thing for the North to be in Aradon's control, I mused, as I regarded my friend, but I wonder how Elwen felt about it.

We managed to slip away to talk. Elwen was chattering without pause about the travel down, until we were out of earshot.

"So you are married! I wish you joy - but it seems you already feel it. I should thank you for helping me escape, first of all," I said.

"Annie was very angry, but I told him it was my fault," she said, smiling sadly.

"He has married, so hopefully that will cheer him up. Lind will be pleased!" I said, with a smile. Then I changed tact: it was a painful subject, but Elwen was wearing a riding dress of dark blue: the colour most associated with her husband, and not black. I thought I should acknowledge it. "I am sorry about Isildur. Truly, I am sorry. It must be hard."

As much as I hated - and feared - him, it cannot have been easy to lose her oldest brother. Elrond didn't know the circumstances, and I didn't think any truthful gossip would reach us this far north. But I had my suspicions.

Elwen flinched. "I am sorry, too. No, I am not in mourning. Indeed, everything had to happen so quickly. Annie had no heir, and you had vanished - well, escaped - and I was unmarried too. He didn't really want to marry Lind, but she was suitable and more than willing. And he wanted me to marry too - to continue our line. And I wanted Aradon."

"I wish I had been there to help you! But I know my presence would not have been welcome," I sighed.

"Your presence is always wanted by me!" she said, with a smile. "Annie was happy to give the North to Aradon - he was threatening to disassemble. The North has been long ignored."

"When did you marry?" I asked.

"A few months ago, just before Annie left to go south. Lots of families have moved to the fortress, and Aradon has his hands full with sorting out the tax situation. Many people have left - on the brink of poverty."

"Aye, many have come to seek refuge with Elrond," I said.

Aradon wants to build homes and set up more trade routes, and cut taxes. He is not shy about asking for help - and indeed, he asks for my counsel often, and I have many tasks. But he says that nothing is built in a day and it will take several years!" she said.

"Patience is a virtue I am still learning," I said, thinking of how busy Elwen will be. How her abilities would finally be used.

"He doesn't love me as I love him, but he is good to me," she said, uncertainly. "We are… not like you and Glorfindel."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," I said, with a smile, not wanting to think about Glorfindel. And besides, Lord Aradon had barely taken his eyes off his wife even in Elrond's company. "He looks at you often."

"Well, we are newly married and he… enjoys marital relations. As all men do. And he needs an heir, too," she explained.

"That is the only reason to go to bed with someone," I replied, grinning. "From my experience at least." She laughed with me, then grew serious.

"He does some things to me that are not… strictly involved in producing an heir," she said, thoughtfully.

I burst out laughing. "Oh Elwen. Oh Elwen. I am glad your husband is… an attentive lover."

"I do not want to hope too much. I have everything I have ever wanted. It is enough," she said. But I was sure that Aradon was fast falling in love with her.

"I'm glad you've married a good man."

Elrond's tour was over, and it was time for lunch. Elrond and I usually ate by the side of the river, and I had a swim, but he and Erestor had created a makeshift table from some wood, and the Dunedain brought out cheese (a delicacy from their lands) and we had bread, and fruits and vegetable, and with good conversation - and some wine - it felt like a feast. I was glad to be sat next to Aradon. I noticed Erestor was not present, and felt jumpy. What was he doing? Where was he? I tried not to look as anxious as I felt.

I apologised to Aradon for not saying farewell due to leaving Lindon suddenly, and he said that Elwen had related some of the circumstances.

"I am sorry for your treatment, and I hope you will visit us again, now Arnor is under new management. It will never happen again. But you are ingenious enough to escape from any bad situation, so need not fear, I hope?" he said with a smile.

"Oh, but I didn't escape - at least not without help. Elwen saved me. Her men released me from the room, and she met me outside the fortress and gave me my horse and supplies. Did she not tell you?"

He looked surprised, then thoughtful. "No, she didn't."

"She gave me one of her tiaras as well…" I said, floundering. Why hadn't Elwen told him? Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything, I thought with horror. Would he not approve?

Aradon considered me for a few seconds, then promptly asked me if I was behind the Athelas paste that was selling like hotcakes.

"We are a hardy folk, Lady Minnow, but I own that it works like magic, and I am told that young mothers particularly find it of such use. A cut may turn septic in the wild, as I'm sure you know, and when we are in the wilds, sometimes our own healing abilities fail us," he said.

I explained it was made in Minntown, and that with his leave, I could arrange for them to deliver directly to wherever he felt it was needed most. "For while Minntown relies on it for its prosperity, I developed it in Lindon in order to help soldiers. My time as a healer on the battlefront is never forgotten."

"That would be most helpful," he said with a smile. It was a rather informal lunch - many of our Dunedain settler's children had come to inspect the visitors, and one precocious little girl with black curls threw herself on Elrond's lap and sat there, sucking her thumb and gazing at us all. Her mother looked on with horror from the sidelines, but I knew Elrond loved children. I winked at him, and he smiled.

As the meal came to an end, we began to discuss what we would do in the afternoon - some of the men volunteered to help with building. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Erestor slowly approach the table, and whisper in Elrond's year. He looked solemn, and resolute, and my heart went out to my friend. The young child's mother dashed forward to grab back her daughter, and Elrond promised to come and visit her soon. She patted his face, which made us all laugh.

I wished I could stop my heart from beating at a hundred leagues an hour. I tried to distract myself by asking Aradon about his plans - which he was happy to tell me about.

Shortly after, Elrond stood and said that he was delighted to share a table with his kin, and hoped there would always be friendship between Imladris and the Dunedain. I smiled at him. But he continued.

"We expect another contingent of visitors," said Elrond, with serenity I couldn't muster up. "Erestor tells me Lord Glorfindel, who is escorting Lady Celebrian and her father, will be here within the hour."

The Dunedain were shocked - not only had they met Elrond (no one was ever that interested in Erestor it seemed, which was a pity) but now they were about to meet a beautiful Elvish princess and the Balrog Slayer. Elwen yelped and ran over to me.

"Glorfindel is coming! But look at you! Here you are looking as dishevelled as usual!" she cried, pulling me up and looking at me. I weakly tried to protest.

"It is an emergency, Aradon!" she called to her husband, as she dragged me away.

Someone had set up her tent, and she pulled out a bottle of perfume, and some scissors, and then pulled me back to my own sleeping tent, and dug through my clothes like a badger.

"Why didn't you tell me Glorfindel was coming?!" she admonished me. She pulled out a deep green dress that she had gifted me, knocking out the tiara from where I kept it. They were both too fine for everyday use - or at least in my everyday life where my dresses had to be more practical. I did cherish them though.

"I don't know how to talk of him," I said, dully. "I do appreciate you, dearest friend, but there is nothing to be done. No amount of finery will make this less awkward and indeed, awful. Now we are strangers; no, worse than strangers, for we can never become acquainted. It is a perpetual estrangement. He may be very angry with me, and he will not care what I look like," I said, as she pushed me down, and pulled at my hair.

"Men do not realise what they don't notice! And Elves love beauty above all things! I cannot have you looking like a mess!" she snapped.

If I was less anxious, I would have laughed. She spent ten minutes trimming my hair, which thanks to Elrond's various oils, at least looked healthy, and then she dabbed my neck with rose water until she was satisfied.

"You will not embarrass me, although you are still too thin. I wish you would eat meat, Minnow," she lamented. "Now get in the dress!"

As she buttoned up the back of the dress, I wondered if I should tell her that Aradon knew she had helped me escape. But I could only face one problem at a time. "Do you want your tiara back?" I asked, seeing it glint. "It was a very welcome gift, but I do not need it, and you would get more use out of it."

She picked it up and rested it on my curls. "I only wear tiaras for special occasions now, and I get all the more enjoyment for it is now a luxury. And no, gifts cannot be returned, Minnow." She lifted my two necklaces out of my bodice, so they could be seen. I sighed.

"Take heart, Minnow," implored Elwen, and I grabbed her hands and breathed in deeply. I would not cry, I told myself.

A young girl's head popped through the flap in my tent. "Gwennie, I found her! I found her!" she cried.

"Flora-" I admonished.

"I told you there was a princess!" cried Gwennie, staring up at Elwen in awe.

I ducked out the tent, planning to grab the girls and take them back to their parents. As informal as Imladris was, Elwen was still a princess and etiquette demanded respect. I knew their parents would be mortified, which amused me. But I didn't get far.

Three Elves - two on horses and one standing beside his horse were in front of me. But I only knew one. I gulped, and my wrist found Elwen's, who was thankfully right next to me. For a heartbeat, I did not recognise him. He seemed taller, and incomplete without his hair. My mouth fell open, and I gasped at him for a second. Glorfindel had shaved his hair off? What did this mean? Elrond had cut his hair shorter of late - I wasn't sure if that denoted a new beginning, or mourning a love that he thought he would never have. Was it the same for Glorfindel?

He didn't say anything. His eyes seemed harder, his countenance unfriendly. This was the warrior Glorfindel, whose enemies feared the sight of him, who knew no mercy, and who killed without guilt. He seemed to tower over me.

Elwen curtseyed besides me and was talking, but I could only stare at him.

Despite the hostility that was vibrating off him, like the very first time we met, Glorfindel looked dull. He had lost his glow. There were big shadows under his eyes. He looked thinner. I had never seen an Elf like this… except when Lalathien had started to fade. But Glorfindel wouldn't fade, he had told me that he could not. Instead, he was just suffering.

I had done this, I realised. I had broken his heart, as Erestor had said.

They turned away, to where we were housing all the horses, and I watched them walk off in horror.

"Oh, Minnow," said Elwen, shaking me, but for five minutes I could not say a word. My only consolation was that Glorfindel had not spoken either. And then suddenly, I could speak.

"Oh Elwen! I was wearing a stupid tiara!" I wailed. "I looked like an idiot!" She drew me towards her and I tried to get my sobs under control.

I had thrown the tiara on the floor of my tent, stomped around the valley in a violent rage, followed by a worried Elwen and then retreated to bed to cry. After apologising a thousand times to Elwen, I had asked her how she thought he looked.

"Very poorly," she said, clearly worried. His appearance had shocked me. I had never seen an Elf look so ill.

"I should have left yesterday, as soon as I was told he was coming," I lamented. I was a selfish person, I told myself.

"No, I don't think so," said Elwen. "I am interested to meet Lady Celebrian," she said, trying to change the subject. I looked at her. Here was something new to worry about.

I wasn't sure if they would become best friends or mortal enemies: I felt there could be no middle ground for the two of them. Unless Celebrian simply ignored her? I sent a prayer up to the Valar that they would become friends - or at least friendly.

In the distance, I could hear some yelling in Quenya, and wondered if it was Glorfindel. Perhaps he was angry that he had not been warned I was here. Perhaps it was Erestor, who was upset that all his friends were quarrelling and had disbanded. Perhaps Elrond had finally let go of his tight control of his temper.

"It is time for dinner, I believe," said Elwen. "Let us go," she said, dabbing the tears from my eyes. "I do not believe hiding any longer will do you any good."

That was probably true, I thought.

"Don't you have to dress for dinner?" I asked, dully.

"Do not dwell on it," she told me, and took my arm, and walked with me back to where we had dinner, only a few hours ago. "Will you introduce me to Lord Celeborn and his daughter?" she asked softly, and I was glad of the task. There were only five Elves from Lindon - I didn't recognise the two soldiers, but they had evidently come with lots of provisions - including venison - as the table was laid with plenty of delicacies. I caught Elrond's eye and he gave me a smile. I didn't see Glorfindel or Erestor.

"Lady Minnow," said Celeborn, who bowed the Elvish way. "My heart sings to see you again."

I hesitated, feeling awkward, and bowed to him. "Minnow," said Celebrian, who stood behind him. She looked very serious.

"May I introduce my good friend, her highness, the Princess Elwen of Arnor? She has lately married Lord Aradon, steward of the North," I said, as graciously as a bastard from Tolfalas could manage.

Everyone bowed. "I am glad to make your acquaintance, princess," said Celebrian.

"It is most fortuitous that our journeys to Imladris have aligned so that we could meet. Lord Elrond's efforts in this valley are much to be admired," said Elwen, who accepted a glass of sparkling wine from her husband. He handed me one as well, and Elwen smoothly introduced them. Elwen had certainly come into herself, I thought, admiringly, and was proving an adept statesman. Celeborn and Arador spoke about the North, with the Elf giving advice that seemed well-received, and Celebrian and Elwen sized each other up - with an occasional comment from me. I drank my wine and sent another prayer up to the Valar for… something, I wasn't sure what.

"Let us sit," said Elrond, after twenty minutes of painfully polite talk. I saw Glorfindel approach the group, and say something to Erestor. He didn't look at me, so I looked away, embarrassed to be gazing at him. Elwen steered me to the table, and sat me down next to her. To my astonishment, Glorfindel sat down in the seat opposite me, wearing the same dark green tunic and hard expression. We locked eyes for a moment, and then he looked to my left, where Elwen sat.

"Congratulations on your marriage, Princess Elwen. I wish you joy, Lord Aradon," he said, solemnly.

"Thank you, my lord," said Aradon.

There was a long pause. All conversation came to a standstill, and I wished someone else would say something - anything! But like me, they were all silent.

"I offer you no congratulations," Glorfindel said to me, his voice low and dangerous. He looked me in the eyes for a second, and the anger shocked me.

"Oh," I replied, agitatedly and confused. I stared at my empty plate.

"No, creating a free town of the holding my father gave you certainly does not warrant congratulations," replied Elwen, with a smoothness that surprised me. "Although we heard the news that the town has been named after you."

There was a pause.

"A free town?" asked Celeborn."And what does that term denote?" He looked at me, and I saw that I had to speak. I cleared my throat.

"Elendil gave me the holding of Cardolan, a small village and hall. Winter was… hard and we invited neighbouring villages into our hall, and it has since grown into a bustling town. But it is not my home, and I thought the running of it should belong to the people. They have elected a mayor," I explained, as evenly as I could.

"And you think this… mayor will be able to run…?"

"Minntown," I provided.

"He will be able to run Minntown adequately? Not everyone has the wisdom to rule," said Celeborn.

"I believe she does. Sylvie is a trusted and beloved woman who was the housekeeper of the hall when it had a lord. And no, I certainly don't think many people have the wisdom to rule," I continued, tartly. Galadriel was at the forefront in my mind, although Elwen's brothers weren't far behind.

"Your husband certainly doesn't," said Glorfindel. I jumped.

"My - my husband?" I repeated, stupidly. "I don't… what?" I continued. Was he talking about himself? Who exactly did Glorfindel rule? Did he mean that I was supposed to be under his command? It didn't make sense - it certainly wasn't something that Glorfindel had ever voiced before - or how he acted. Was he saying he wasn't wise? That I hadn't been a wise choice?

"I apologise, Elwen, but your brother is certainly a fool," he snapped, still looking at me. I couldn't speak.

"My husband certainly thinks so!" said Elwen, cheerfully. "My brother has lately married Lady Lind of Tolfalas, Lady Celebrian, and returned to Minas Tirith after the death of my brother Isildur," she continued, addressing her remarks to the Elvish princess.

I could not look at Glorfindel, and instead stared at my plate. I couldn't stop the tears sliding down my cheeks onto the plate either. How could he think I had married Anarion? Had he heard the news Anarion had married a lady of Tolfalas - and thought that meant me and not Lind? How could he think I would ever marry another?

And yet, I had left Glorfindel leaving behind only a note.

And I had kissed Anarion. I had responded to his kisses. Part of me enjoyed it. But I didn't choose it, I told myself. Despite being pressed, I had stood firm, and said no.

"I imagine that wasn't his first choice of the ladies of Tolfalas," said Elrond, sipping wine. I was tempted to glare at him.

"He looked elsewhere for a time, but to no avail," said Elwen. When had Elwen learned diplomacy, I wondered.

"You did not wish to be queen, Minnow?" asked Celebrian, making me look up. How could she ask me that question, I thought, struggling with my anger, and wiping the tears from my face. Did she doubt my love for Glorfindel and she doubted his love for me? Or did she think I would be swayed by power or status.

I realised I was shaking and took a big breath. "I have never wanted to be queen or marry Anarion. That has always been Lind's greatest wish. But not mine."

"You are truly not married to Anarion?" asked Glorfindel suddenly, with such vulnerability all I could do was shake my head. Eye contact was painful, but I could not look away.

"Never," I managed to say. Glorfindel stood up - shakily, I saw with horror - and walked towards the river. I watched him go. People may have been talking around me, but I couldn't hear them. All I could think of was Glorfindel.

Without realising what I was doing, I stood up and ran after him. I followed him as he ran through the tents, the adrenaline ringing in my ears. He had stopped by the river, and was looking down into the water, when I caught up with him. I stood behind him, looking at his back. I didn't know what to say to him. There were no words. All I could hear was the sound of my own breathing and my own heartbeat.

"I didn't mean it," he said, suddenly.

Confused, I walked to stand beside him and look out at the river as well. "About Anarion? You were right about him. He… is irredeemable," I said. I thought it was best not to tell Glorfindel about the last time I saw Anarion.

It was strange to be so close to him, and not touching. I could smell him. But we weren't together anymore. There was such a distance between us now.

"No, the last words I said to you," he said. I turned to look at him. The light was dying and casting shadows on his sharp face. His grey eyes looked down on me with such sadness. It was so strange to see him with short hair: his hair was so pale, he almost looked like he had none. He was a shadow of his former self and it made me nauseous.

He had told me - almost two years ago - that he had wished he had never met me. It had cut me like a knife. Nothing had devastated me more than those simple words.

"Wouldn't it have been better if we had never met? Wouldn't you have been happier? Valar knows, I am miserable now…"

"Are you?" he said, softly. "To see me again?"

"I never thought I'd see you again," I admitted. "I… didn't intend to."

He looked out on the water again. "I understood that from your letter."

"Oh, my letter," I said, remembering what I had written.

"It was more generous than I deserved," he said, grimly.

"Generous! I am sorry for being so cowardly that I could not say it to your face," I replied.

"I am sorry for leaving you alone in my house, locked up. Of course you escaped. It was right of you to leave. How arrogant of me to think that my occasional presence would be enough…" he trailed off.

It had been a miserable situation, I thought, looking back on it. I had swung between joy and misery so often. It had been unsettling. In truth, it had been so very hard. Remembering my time in Lindon was so bittersweet.

"We did not discuss what we both wanted out of… marriage. We thought it would be easy because we loved each other… I certainly didn't expect any insurmountable obstacles," I said.

He sighed. "We discussed sex in more detail than living together," he said. It was true. Perhaps both of us had been naive.

"I know about Galadriel. I am sorry," I said, tentatively. He touched his neck, where I thought I saw a pale scar, and shrugged.

"You certainly knew more about Galadriel than I did. I am sorry that you did not confide in me more. But then, would I have heard it? Would I have really listened? It is only when her callous gaze and cruel words fell on me that I truly understood."

"Elrond said Celeborn has broken with her… at least for a time," I ventured.

"She is arrogant. He always knew this. Do not worry for them, they have been together for many years."

"She is driven by worry about her daughter…"

"Yes, and look at what she has turned Celebrian into! She confessed what poison she had poured in your ears. It disgusted me. It disgusted her father. And it disgusted Elrond," he continued.

Poor Elrond, I thought. Are we all to be such fools when it comes to love?

"I tried to bear it. But I was not strong enough," I continued.

"I was not supportive. All I thought about was my own burdens," said Glorfindel, matter-of-factly, but I thought that was not true. It was too strong by half.

"I need more than most ladies - I'm not content to sit and play a harp all day…" I said, trying to explain.

"I'm an Elf, I cannot stand to be trapped inside either. I let my fear take hold of me," he admitted, sadly.

"I think I let despair take hold of me. Why… why has Celebrian come?" I asked. "What of Elrond?"

He sighed and sat down by the river. I slumped down next to him, and anxiously picked at grass for a while.

"That I do not know and can only guess at. Celeborn is angry and disappointed in her - he feels she has much to learn and understand."

"Her presence here makes me uneasy for Elrond," I said. "But that is between them. I wish for his happiness."

I dared not think of my own happiness. In truth, Glorfindel's presence in Imladris did not make me happy. He felt unfamiliar and unchanged at the same time. Two years felt like a short time, but it had felt agonisingly long. This was not a love that could be recovered from easily, and I did not know how to make it better for him. I longed to reach out and comfort him, but I could not. I dared not.

"Minnow, I was a fool," he said, his voice hoarse. I looked up at him.

"Yes, I suppose it was foolish. I didn't understand - not truly - what I was asking you to give up," I said. "I thought love conquers all, I thought I had seen it conquer all during the war, but I was wrong. It was not fair to ask you to be with me when my death would be so hard to endure."

"But I did understand what it meant," he said. "And I thought it was worth it. I still do."

"But your hair?" I said. "You grieve me already! My death is already haunting you!"

"I cut it off to show my people how much your loss affected me, that I was hurt, because Galadriel did not respect what I had lost," he said. "The last time I cut my hair off was when my father died and my childhood ended.."

"Oh," I said. But I'm not dead yet, I wanted to shout at him.

"I am sorry to burden you with more cruel knowledge, but Galadriel's matchmaking did not end with your exit from Lindon."

"I can imagine the kind of things Galadriel would say," I said. Heartless Elf that she was, I thought, angrily.

"It looks upsetting, I know," he said with a sigh. "It was not my intention to shock. Elvish hair takes a very long time to grow - it was several centuries worth of hair. But I care not. It is just hair."

"It's just… it was unexpected," I replied, a bit limply.

"You look well. You have thrived without me," he said.

I laughed, a little bitterly.

"No. No!" I replied. "This is not thriving," I muttered.

"You have created a free town. They named their home after you. Your Athelas paste is saving lives as we speak. You have met Ulmo. You have done so much, Minnow. I am truly in awe of you," he said.

"Nothing has been harder than living without you," I said, my voice cracking. He knew that I had met Ulmo? How?

"You have never needed me, Minnow," he said. He reached out and pulled one of my curl's taut, then released it, letting it bounce back. I drank him in for a second in the twilight, his face more angular and pale than I had ever seen it.

He turned and walked away, and I just watched him.

Thank you for all your lovely comments! I'll update the next chapter soon - it's all happening now!