A/N: There are things we can never do in real life...

What makes someone a good person? What makes them bad?
I think the lines are sometimes so blurred that there might not even be a difference anymore.

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Sleep was hard to find that night. A wisp of dreams caught me here and then, though only to remind me that I would have to wake up eventually. Tossing and turning would not help and only did I find some well needed peace when the Master came to keep me company. We shared a bed in one of the ship's cabins and he wrapped around my back, his hand sprayed on my belly, his mind caressing mine and lulling me into a sense of peace and quiet.

Morning came. I stood in front of the lockers and was clueless. What do you wear when you move out to commit murder? What is the best outfit for someone who is about to change the tides of the past? In the end I picked some simple jeans and a black hoodie with the picture of a harpoon on it. Weirdly fitting.

The Master let me take my time and yet never was far. He waited, waited for me to blow the whole thing off. Because he knew I was scared, because I didn't know what the outcome would be, because, even after all the adventures, I hadn't had a brush with death too closely. Dying was something people did in the distance or in the shadows and around corners, but never right in front of my eyes, never with all the gruesome details it would entail.

And never by my own hand.

Eventually I nodded. A slow and deliberate movement. I had stalled long enough. If I was going to do this then either now or never. The Master rolled up his sleeve and revealed the Vortex Manipulator. It didn't look like much and yet…

"Just place your hand on it. It needs a psychic connection to everyone who wants to travel."

Again I nodded, not speaking a word. The world went black as soon as my hand touched the metal casing. We were spinning and bending and twisting, shoved and pulled and then… spit out. I stumbled, trying not to lose my footing and to keep my meagre breakfast inside.

"Whoa, nasty," I mumbled, holding my head. "You never told me how bad this is."

"Time Travel without a capsule. A killer." The Master snickered and grabbed my elbow to stabilise me. "You get used to it after some jumps."

My answer was a grunt, but the sickness faded fast and I managed to take a look around. I had picked a time some years after I had cut all ties to my family. There had been no way to keep contact with my Dad without having to speak to my mom too. They didn't even have an Internet connection, because she was convinced that only evil would come through it and he wasn't allowed to have a private mobile because she was afraid he might cheat on her.

He should have. But he had always been a way too nice person to do it.

We stood outside an old house, it had been built long before my time. My grandma had lived there her whole life and sometimes my parents would come and visit for some days. It was a nice spot, with a wide garden full of trees and patches of high grass. A bit wild, but beautiful nonetheless.

I remembered how my older sister had reached out and had told me that they would all meet there that weekend. She had asked me to come too, to forget about the past as she had done. And during the last years I actually had. For my own sake and wellbeing I had decided to forgive her for the abuse and neglect she had made me suffer.

But I could not forgive what she had done to the people I love.

Now we stood on the streets not too far away, but far enough that no one could see us. I recognized movement in the garden. One silhouette. She had always spent the day out there, bathing in the sun, doing nothing, while we were inside, playing games and chatting.

"So, how do you want to do this?" asked the Master.

I opened my mouth to respond, but then realised I actually had no idea. The gun still lay in my apartment, hidden in a bundle of old shirts, shoved to the back of a drawer. I looked up at the Master, shrugging. "You could lend me that laser screwdriver?"

"You want to talk to her first? Tell her how awful she is?"

I shook my head. "No. Each time she opens her mouth nothing good comes out. I want to be done with it and move on."

The Master reached into his pocket and got out the device. For a moment he fiddled around with the buttons. "There. Isomorphic controls are deactivated for now. Have fun." A wicked smile sat on his lips as he pointed the handle towards me. "It's on the highest setting. This will properly disintegrate everything it hits. No traces left but some ashes. No one will know."

Perfect. I reached for the screwdriver, my hand surprisingly steady when my fingers closed around the cool metal. I weighed the device in my palm, trying to get a feel for it. "I want to get closer."

The Master followed swiftly, never leaving me out of sight.

They wouldn't even recognize me right now. The last time my family had seen me I had weighed almost double as much as now and my hair had been longer and cut differently.

A different person.

A different life.

I gripped the laser screwdriver harder, a comforting weight in my hand. It was a Sunday and no one was around, the streets as empty as only a sleepy village ever managed to be. We also had perception filters, but I had learned that those didn't work for everyone and only when the wearer didn't act suspiciously.

I wanted to see.

For a moment I contemplated asking the Master to change the setting so I could see her die, witness the look on her face when she realised it was her end. I wanted to pour all of my hatred into this one action and then…

There was nothing. There was no hatred. I had burned it all away a long time ago. And what was left was only grief. I wasn't going to do this because I still despised her. I was going to do it because it was I who was hurting. It was I who wanted revenge. For the life I could never have and for the loss I never wanted to experience. Not like this.

"If you wait too long, the moment's gone." The Master nudged me.

We stood right at the fence to the garden. The woman who dared to call herself a mother lay on a sun chair, bathing in the autumn rays as if she had deserved to absorb them. She wore a simple dress, like always. This stupid religion of hers forbids women to wear anything but.

A hand squeezed my shoulder and I tore my gaze away and upwards. The Master wasn't looking at me. "Second button from the top by the way. If you press lightly you can aim first."

I nodded and raised the screwdriver. My hand was still steady. And maybe that was the thing frightening me the most. Frightening me so much that I froze, pointing. Inside the house would be my dad, well and alive, my little sister, my grandma. They would never know. They would think she just vanished or got abducted. They would never find out who did it.

I was frozen. And then I was warm. The Master had moved to my back, his fingers wrapped around my own. "I'm not going to do it for you," he whispered into my ear. "But I'll help. See, you don't have to carry it alone. And you have the right to do it. You know you have."

Yes. Yes, I knew. I closed my eyes, just for a moment. I thought of my dad and of all the things he would be able to enjoy, of the life he could finally have. He was too weak to get himself free.

So it was on me to do it.

I opened my eyes again and aimed, following the red dot until it landed on her skin. My thumb hovered there for a second, the warmth of the Master's hand steadying me.

I could just turn around and leave.

The screwdriver let out a high pitched whirr. A red beam shot out of the front, straight and fast. I watched with wide eyes how the light grew from a tiny dot and spread over her whole body in a single second and disintegrated her so completely that the light breeze was enough to stir the remaining dust, each spec drifting away, glittering in the warm rays of the autumn sun.

Nothing stayed behind. Just the wind, the rustling of nearby trees, the uninterrupted songs of birds that wouldn't leave for the winter. The sun kept shining, time kept moving.

I closed my eyes and dropped backwards, letting out a shaky breath. Suddenly my body was trembling lightly, shaking from the impact of what I had just done. A life. I had taken a life.

I had killed someone.

"It's alright," muttered the Master. He held me tight, arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"I'm… a murderer." Had I even said it aloud?

The Master wouldn't let go of me. "Yes." He wouldn't give me the comfort of denying, no solace. Only the truth. "You are."

Another deep breath. I opened my eyes again and let them wander over the empty garden. My heart slowed down. The trembling faded.

It was over.

No one would ever have to suffer again because of her. And I had reclaimed all the power I had ever lost to her.

It was over.

I had killed someone.

And I didn't regret it.

I gripped the laser screwdriver harder and stroked the Master's arm on my chest. "Thank you. For letting me have this." It was worth more than he might know, the possibility to get closure.

He released his grip and let me turn around to face him. There was darkness in his eyes, a deep seated hunger, desire. Slowly his lips split into a nasty grin. It was cruel. A predator who had finally caught up with its prey. A wolf finally tearing down its sheep's pelt. His nostrils flared, his pupils got wide when he cupped my face. "How did it feel?"

His excitement washed over me a little, but I managed to shake it off and I scoffed. "You're such a sick bastard. You know that?"

"Mhmmmm. Sure do. Answer."

"It… It honestly was a bit anticlimactic." I shrugged. "I don't know how it feels. It's just… sort of… there. No regrets though. And no, I won't do it again if I don't have to."

The Master pursed his lips, but smiled when he let go of me. "Would have been fun to corrupt you."

Of course. I huffed and shook my head. "No need for that. I think I'm twisted enough already."

Was I a monster? A stained soul like mine surely could never be redeemed. But I didn't need or want redemption anyway.

"Time to collect your reward then," said the Master. "Ready?"

Right. There was one step missing. I hadn't even thought about it up until now. To check.

"I'm not sure I want to look. What if it did nothing? What if he's still…"

"Oh, don't be daft. It doesn't matter if he lives longer now or not. You definitely changed his life. And from what I've seen in your mind, definitely for the better." He paused for a second, regarding me. His eyes wandered down to my hand that still held his screwdriver and he grinned. "Keep it for now. I like you carrying it around."

"'M not going to use it again," I grumbled.

"I knooow. But it makes you just a tiny little bit more dangerous and I like that." He was way too excited about this. But I decided to let him have this for now and pocketed the device. "Good. Be a force to be reckoned with."

"Not gonna happen."

"You never know." His stupid grin was too attractive for his own good when he offered his arm. "Shall we?"

I nodded and took one last look behind me. The garden lay empty, undisturbed. Peaceful. It shouldn't be like that, I decided. Not after what I had just done. But it was. And this quiet sense of peace crept into my heart and settled there, just as warm as autumn itself.

.

A/N: Initially I planned to have the Master do it instead, to keep Lucy's souls "pure".

But then I realized... nope, he would not do that. He would absolutely love to watch and revel in the whole situation.