Tossing and turning, Sálea fought the sheets that restrained her. Sweat rolled off her body and soaked the bed. Causing her hair to stick to her and get tangled up. She whimpered, her body trembling as she pushed back against the imaginary fighters.
At once, Sálea shot up, a scream stuck in her throat. Chest heaving, Sálea frantically searched the room, her eyes never staying in one place for too long. Seeing no one, not even her housecarl who normally sat at the end of her bed, Sálea relaxed.
Placing her hand on her chest, she tried to slow it down. Thinking about good times, times with her Mother and Father when she was younger. The time she and Lydia got in trouble because they got caught playing a prank when they were kids.
A small smile formed at the memory and Sálea sighed, her heart no longer attempting to beat out of her chest. Flopping back down on her bed, Sálea cringed at the wetness and made a mental note to clean it before morning. She didn't need Lydia to worry about yet another problem.
Groaning and curling into her side, Sálea bit her lip. This nightmare in particular wasn't anything special. She's had worse, surely. But she doubted anyone would be able to just go back to sleep after reliving the death of a loved one.
She wondered how Eorlund and Frailia were doing. Eorlund was clearly handling the grief better than his wife, and Frailia, well, she just didn't know. She needed to speak with her as soon as possible. She couldn't imagine the grief one went through when one lost a child. It couldn't be much different than losing someone else they loved, in a sense.
In any case, Sálea hoped she'd never have to find out. She could barely handle the grief of losing her parents, and it had been years. Losing a child, someone she had carried within her for the sole purpose of bringing into the world, would surely destroy her. She was certain of it.
Whether it tore her mind apart, or her heart, she didn't know. But what she did know, was that she wouldn't be able to control the dragon's rage. She would be lost in the sea of red, and she might not want to come back.
Rolling onto her other side, Sálea groaned again, whacking herself over the head. Memories of the day before slamming themselves into her conscious mind. They were laughing hysterically at her as she flushed red from embarrassment.
She couldn't control the anger yesterday and she nearly paid dearly for it. Tilma seemed fine when she left, but if Sálea was honest with herself, she wasn't really all that worried for her. Tilma had known her for a long time, for many winters. Which meant Lydia was right, Tilma doesn't scare that easily. It would take a lot more than almost losing her temper to scare her off. Besides, Tilma had probably seen worse in her lifetime.
No, she was far more worried about Vilkas. As far as first impressions go, theirs had to be the worst. It seemed they both suffered from tempers and all Sálea could think about was how she let hers control her actions during a spar.
A simple, spar.
She needed to apologize. It wasn't fair to take her anger out on him. Even though she was pretty sure he was the one who insulted her yesterday, he still didn't deserve to be taken down in such a manner.
Especially not during a spar.
Rolling over again, Sálea blew air out of her nose. Honestly, she never had a problem taking responsibility for her actions. She made her bed, she'll lie in it. Her problems belonged to her, and so did the consequences. If Vilkas didn't want to forgive her, that's fine. She was sure she'd be able to make it up to him eventually.
Deciding there was no more sleep to be had that night, Sálea got up and started to clean her mess. She'll make sure to go straight over to Jorrvaskr after breakfast. With that thought in mind, Sálea worked through the early hours of the night. Cleaning her armor from the sweat yesterday and polishing her sword. Sálea even made sure to wash herself clean from the dirt and grim she always seemed to be covered in.
By morning, Sálea felt better and managed to put a smile on her face as she greeted Lydia. "Good morning, did you sleep well?" She asked, pouring some vegetable stew into a bowl for her housecarl.
Lydia accepted it with a thank you and sat down. "Yes, I did. You?"
Sálea internally cringed. "As well as to be expected." Turning back to the stew, she poured herself some as she continued. "In any case, there is much to be done today. I need to go back to Jorrvaskr and apologize to Vilkas, the companion's Master at Arms. I. . . may have lost my temper on him during our spar. After that, I need to train with the guards and then we need to go and take care of some bandits that camped close to Riverwood. I need you to pick up these things from the market." Sálea paused her speech and handed Lydia a list of potions, provisions, and arrows.
Lydia accepted the list and glanced at it a moment. "Alright, I make sure to get this done before this afternoon. Do you want me to accompany you to Jorrasvkr?"
Sálea sighed and took a bite of her stew. "To be honest, that might be a good idea. I hate that place and being there. . ." Sálea breathed deeply through her nose and sighed. "However, it's my actions that got me into this mess in the first, I must do it myself. It's my job as Thane to build good relations with the people. I've made an exception for Red, but Vilkas is a different matter. We both clearly have a temper, so I'm hoping that the start of a new day has eased some of it on his side."
Lydia seemed to consider this before she relented. "Very well, my Thane. Once we've finished eating, I'll make you some tea. With any luck, it'll curb your temper long enough for you to apologize."
Sálea smirked. "Aw, Lydia. Have some faith! I can make a sincere apology!"
Lydia shook her head and went back to her food. Sálea rolled her eyes and playfully nudged her before doing the same. Once finished with her food and tea, Sálea made her way up to Jorrvaskr, saying hello to the people as she passed.
It had been months since she was in such a good mood and free from the fire that slept within. She just hoped she could make it through the day. Opening the doors that led into Jorrvaskr, Sálea was once again hit by the smell of mead as well as freshly cooked food. It seemed the companions had just sat down to eat.
Mentally double-checking that her face wasn't scrunched up, Sálea took a shallow breath and entered. Finding Tilma easy among the crowd, she walked over and greeted the woman. "Good morning Tilma, how are you this morning?"
Tilma turned to her and smiled. "Ah, good morning dear girl! I'm doing just fine and you seem to be doing much better yourself, my dear. Did you rest well?"
Sálea nodded. "As well as can be expected. Listen, I don't have much time to talk today. I need to speak with Vilkas. Do you know where he is?"
Tilma raised a brow. "Vilkas, you say? Whatever for, my dear?"
She sighed and bowed her head. "I. . . may have overdone it yesterday when we spared. I wish to apologize to him for allowing my anger to get the best of me." Looking back up to Tilma, Sálea paused as she noticed her smile. "What?"
The old woman simply shook her head. "Oh, nothing dear. Vilkas is over at the table next to Farkas."
Sálea narrowed her eyes at the woman and tilted her head. "Thank you." She watched her for a moment longer, weirded out by her reaction before she turned and started towards the table.
Vilkas and Farkas were easy to find, they stood out amongst the crowd wearing their customary wolf armor. There was an open seat to Vilkas's right and she slid into it, catching Farkas's attention.
"Good morning Farkas." She greeted, a small smile on her face. She then turned to Vilkas, whose attention was now on her. "Good morning Vilkas. Do you have a moment? I wish to speak to you about yesterday."
Vilkas turned back to his food. "Yes, I have a moment. What do you wish to discuss?"
Sálea subtly below air out her nose. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday."
Vilkas grunted and brought his mug up to his lips, staring straight ahead as he spoke.
"Your behavior? You mean how you came to join us and cowardly said the Jarl ordered you to?"
Sálea narrowed her eyes, feeling the heat rise up. Why that little. . .
"No." She grounded out, imagining water being dumped on the fire to cool it. "That, is true. I do hope you know it's impolite to not meet the eye of the person you are speaking to." Vilkas turned to her and glared as she continued. "I wanted to apologize for letting my anger get the better of me during our spar. I should not have conducted myself in such a manner. You have my sincerest apology."
Vilkas continued to glare at her for a moment before turning away. "Make sure it doesn't happen again, whelp."
Whelp?!
Sálea clenched her jaw, silently fuming. How dare he. . . stiffly getting up, Sálea openly glared at the man in front of her. "Good day, Farkas."
"Good day."
Desperately trying to keep her temper in check, Sálea turned away from them and started towards the door, hands in fists. Once outside, Sálea took a deep breath, forcing the clean air into her lungs and holding it hostage for a moment.
Why couldn't he—ugh! Piece of cow dung! Corn-fucker! Many more insults ran through her mind as Sálea made her way over to the guard's training grounds. She was trying to make peace for Talos sake! Why couldn't he do the same?! Looking around, Sálea noticed the guards lounging against the walls and sighed.
Here we go. . .
Training the guards was not hard, it just took time. Before she became dragonborn, she trained with them as their equal. Allowing an older warrior and master to teach them. Now, she trained the men she used to learn new tactics with. It wasn't ordinary training she put them through either. Sálea was the only one outside of Lydia to have the most experience fighting dragons and winning. Because of this reason, she volunteered to train the guards. Jarl Balgruuf agreed with her and for months, she has been working with them daily as long as she was in the city. When she wasn't, she had them practice the techniques she showed them till she returned.
The work was rewarding if not tiring. She still had to go out and hunt down that bandit camp as well. . . With a sigh, Sálea rubbed her temples, her headache coming back. Looking back to them, she made a decision.
"Line up!" She called out, walking over to stand in front of them. The men rushed to follow orders and Sálea waited til they settled. "Alright, today we're just going over some of the basics. Making sure your forms are correct and so on. Today's going to be rather easy, and if we can get through this quickly, you're free to continue your day however you please as long you are not on duty. Understood?"
"Yes, Thane!" They shouted in unison.
"Good. Pair up!"
Even though she said today was going to be easy, it appeared she lied. More than half had not been practicing as much as they should have and it showed. She had to reteach, lecture, and smack them on the back of the head. She was disappointed with them and she made sure they knew it. By the time she got them back in shape, it was noon, and she was exhausted.
Sálea was walking towards the market when she passed a familiar home and her heart clenched. She really should go and speak with Frailia, but she just didn't have it in her. She hoped Eorlund wasn't too annoyed with her. She said she'd make some time and visit, but she was finding it difficult. Dealing with her own grief was hard enough, she wasn't sure how she'd be able to handle Frailia's grief in this state.
With a sigh, she continued forward and walked up to the guard walking the pass to the market. "Could you do me a favor?" She asked, gaining his attention.
"Of course Thane." He stood at attention and nodded. "I'd be honored to assist you."
Sálea genuinely smiled at him. "Thank you, friend. I need you to go to Kodlak, the Harbinger of the companions. Tell him I'm leaving and I'm not sure when I'll be back, maybe two or three days."
The soldier nodded and bowed his head. "Right away, my Thane. Stay safe, and may the nine watch over you."
"Thank you." Sálea bowed to him and watched him go for a moment before she left and went to the front gates outside of Whiterun to wait for Lydia.
Lydia was supposed to have her travel bag as well as the things she asked her to buy. After a few minutes, Lydia walked up to her.
"Greetings, my Thane. How did it go?" Lydia asked, handing Sálea her things.
Attaching her enchanted pack to her lower back, and turning to start down the road towards Riverwood, Sálea sighed. "Which part? While during the training I discovered some of the guards hadn't been practicing like they should. Then dealing with Vilkas was. . . infuriating. Trying to make peace with him is like trying to make peace with a, well, I don't know. It was hard."
Lydia nodded. "I ran across Frailia in the market today, she wasn't looking well."
Sálea let out a breath. "I'll talk to her."
Lydia nodded. Silence enveloped them as they walked with their own thoughts. Sálea was tired, and after a few moments, her pace slowed. Her mind was back in Jorrvaskr, and she groaned. What an infuriating man. Perhaps there was another way for her to talk to him. A little less malice would be nice.
"My Thane, I believe the bandits are this way." Lydia spoke up and Sálea looked around. They were near Riverwood, and the sun was close to setting.
"Let's do that in the morning, I don't have the energy." Sálea admitted and continued down the road.
After a minute, Lydia appeared next to her. "You do look pale, my Thane. I'm sorry for not noticing sooner."
"That's alright, Lydia. Let's just get to town."
Lydia nodded and remained silent. The entrance to Riverwood came up right as the sun began to set and Sálea sighed. There was no part of her that didn't hurt and as Lydia got them rooms in the inn, she wondered just how much she'd be able to do tomorrow.
She supposed she'll have to wait and see.