"Hey, Sam," Liz smiled after opening the door, feeding Mary. "Might not be the safest time to visit."
His eyebrows danced. "What? Why not?"
She shook her head. "I'm not in the best of places, right now. Kind of feeling like an ugly old hag today with the disposition to match." She turned away from the door and Sam followed her in and closed the door behind him.
"But you're beautiful," Sam frowned at her.
She scoffed. "Yeah," she rolled her eyes. "So beautiful. Still carrying extra weight I can't do anything about because I can't really exercise yet. I think I still have conditioner in my hair because I didn't feel like I had enough time to fully rinse it out when I showered this morning. I can't remember if I brushed my teeth and I'm pretty sure I only got three hours of sleep last night - which is an improvement over the night before."
He walked toward her. "Liz."
"Don't get me wrong. I'm glad I moved out. I needed to. I just… I miss havin' you guys around to help…"
"Liz," he repeated, patiently.
"…So, no, not feelin' especially beautiful!"
"Well, I think you are and I'm sure if I polled random men on the street, they'd agree with me."
She smiled and rolled her eyes. "You're sweet. And I appreciate you trying to cheer me up." She moved her hair off her shoulder, then frowned.
He frowned. "I'm not—"
"Oh, good lord! I think I may have spit up in my hair!"
He smiled and looked down at Mary in her arms and then at her. "Let me see," he offered, reaching out to touch her hair. He leaned forward to look at the locks but the smell that touched his nose wasn't the familiar smell of baby vomit, it was as she smelled in the hospital when he held her while she gave birth – as she smelled every time he'd gotten close to her since.
Suddenly, he was filled with an urge to do something and he straightened with surprise.
"Am I right?"
He shook his head. "No. I—"
She sighed and looked down at Mary. "Well, there's, at least that."
Almost as if of its own accord, his hand moved to her cheek and she looked up at him. His eyes searched her face for a moment.
She frowned and opened her mouth to question him.
He bent and pressed his lips to hers.
Her eyebrows rose and her eyes widened as she touched the arm of his hand touching her face.
When he pulled from her, she tilted her head downward, holding her breath and biting her lower lip, color tinting her cheeks.
"Liz," he started, surprised by his own actions. He stepped back and raised his hands. "I'm sorry, I—"
She smiled, glancing up at him. "I've been wanting that for a long time."
His eyebrows rose. "Really?" He frowned and looked at her again. "How long?"
Her blush deepened and she looked away again. "I don't know if I want to tell you."
"Why not?"
"It's embarrassing!"
"How 'bout I go first?"
Her eyebrows rose and her eyes met his.
He swallowed and pressed his lips together before fixing his eyes to a spot on the wall. "The first time I thought about it was when we were washing dishes together after Bobby left for the Aswang hunt."
"But I was mad that day!"
He looked at her and shrugged. "You're cute when you're mad."
She narrowed her eyes and tried to frown, but failed.
"Your turn," he prompted.
She bit her lip. "When you held my hand in the ultrasound." She smiled. "And even more when you held my hands during delivery. And more still, when you insisted on feeding Mary in my hospital room. Since then, I think about it every day."
Smiling, he stepped to her and bent, tilting her head upward with a couple of fingers under her chin, taking possession of her lips again. He moved his hand to her cheek again as she responded.
Mary fussed, and they stopped kissing to look down at her. Her bottle was empty. Sam smiled at Liz, who smiled back at him.
"Let me," he murmured, taking the towel from her shoulder and she handed Mary to him. He stepped away from her and burped Mary while watching her.
Liz's smile was wide as she watched him.
"What?"
"Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you do that?"
His eyebrows rose as he straightened. "Really?"
She grinned and shrugged a shoulder.
He pressed his lips together in a surprised but pleased look. "Okay, then. Nice to know."
Her smile widened, then she looked down at the bottle in her hand. "I'd better go clean this out."
He followed her into the kitchen. "If we're being totally honest," he started.
She turned to look at him as she unscrewed the top. "Yes?"
He swallowed and paused.
She chuckled and turned to the sink, turning on the water.
"I think everything about you is beautiful," he continued, finally. "And sexy."
She smiled, scrubbing out the bottle. "Oh, yeah. Washing out bottles, changing diapers, cleaning spit up… so sexy."
He nodded. "Yeah, actually. And I never thought I'd think so, but with you…"
She finished cleaning the bottle and put it in the rack to dry. Then she faced him with a tilted head.
"With you, I do," he finished.
Mary burped loudly and spit up past the towel on his shoulder.
Sam grunted. "Why is it every time she does that, she misses the towel? No matter how I position it?"
Liz laughed. "Here, I'll clean her up while you clean up your shirt."
He handed Mary to her mother and began to unbutton his shirt.
Liz moved into Mary's room as Sam took off his shirt and used the sink to rinse off the vomit. Then he set it aside, knowing he'd have to wash it properly before he'd be able to wear it again. He moved to the doorway of Mary's room to watch Liz.
Once Mary was changed and swaddled, Liz put her into her crib and Sam moved further into the room to look down on the baby. He touched Liz's shoulder to let her know he was there.
"Shirt uncleanable?" She asked, glancing at him in his t-shirt.
"The smell," he nodded.
"I can run it through the washer while you're here…"
"I'll wash it when I get home."
She took a deep breath, then and turned to look at him. "Sam," she smiled. Her eyes studied his face.
He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her as his lips took possession of hers. He was pleased that she grasped his t-shirt and returned the kiss with the same passion he was feeling.
When they parted, she took his hand in hers and led him out of the room, across the hall to her room, where she turned to face him again.
His hands moved into her hair and cupped her jaw, gently, as his blue-green hazel eyes looked into hers. "Why don't you go jump into the shower, wash your hair properly and do whatever else you want to do to make yourself feel better. I'm here if Mary needs anything."
She touched his lips with her fingers and smiled. "Lay down with me for little while? Just me, this time?"
He looked at her bed, then back to her and nodded. They lay down in her bed and he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. It didn't take long for her to kiss his neck, which led to him spending serious time kissing her. After a good deal of time kissing each other, Sam pulled back and looked at her.
"Liz," he growled. "We've got to stop."
She smiled. "I know. But I don't want to."
He pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, focusing on bringing his passion under control. "Me, neither! But we can't…" He tilted his head and looked into the room. "The doctor hasn't…" he cleared his throat, but then looked at her again. "I won't put you in danger…"
She groaned and pulled away from him, looking up to the ceiling, then closing her eyes.
He frowned at her.
"Do you have any idea how long it has been?"
He grinned. "I remember you having a conversation with Dean soon after we met."
Her eyes opened, and she pinked. "Oh, I'd forgotten about that!" she laughed. She looked at him. "It wasn't so bad because temptation was nonexistent. But now… especially knowing you…"
He touched her face and his eyebrows rose, coming together in earnest as his blue-green eyes drilled into her. "I'm not going anywhere, Liz. When Doc says you're ready, I'll be here."
She touched his hand on her face. "You might actually want to run, my friend. 'Cause I might just be insatiable by that time."
He grinned. "Bring it," he whispered, lightly touching his lips to hers, then pulling her into his arms. Then he cleared his throat and continued in a sterner voice. "But for now, lay off my neck. Rest when the baby rests, remember?"
She nestled into his chest and put her arm around him as he held her. "Fine. I'll behave," she pouted with a smile. "But if it sounds like I'm getting lucky in my dreams, don't wake me."
He chuckled and rubbed her arm. "I promise."
#
#
Hours later, Mary was fed, bathed and put down again - after all three of them had a decent two hour nap and Liz had a proper shower – when Sam headed for the door.
"Thanks for everything, Sam. I'm definitely less cranky than I was earlier." She held the door for him.
He stepped through the door and stopped, turning back to her. He took a deep breath. "I don't know if it's too soon," Sam said, touching her shoulder with his finger, looking at it, then into her eyes. "But I'd like to take you out to dinner."
She tilted her head, surprised. "What?" she half-laughed with eyebrows raised.
"I'd like to take you out… on a date," Sam repeated. "I could ask Bobby and Dean to watch Mary for a few hours and we could, I don't know, maybe go out to eat."
She narrowed her eyes at him and looked at him sidelong. "Let me get this straight: you want me to leave my month old alone with two raging alcoholics who carry guns for a living?"
Sam straightened, and his eyebrows danced. "Uh," his eyebrows came together. He tilted his head, and he swallowed as he nodded. "Yeah, actually."
She smiled widely and shrugged. "Okay. Works for me."
He relaxed, touching her cheek with a smile. "Ah, I'll call you."
She nodded happily, touching his hand on her face. "I'll be waiting."
He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, then turned and walked out of the apartment.
It was almost ten minutes later when Liz found Sam's shirt next to the kitchen sink. She smiled and looked at Mary. "Daddy left his shirt behind, didn't he? C'mon, let's wash it for him."
#
#
Bobby heard a car enter his property before he saw it. He moved from his desk to look out of the window. He frowned that he didn't recognize the car, so he went to the front door.
When Bobby came out of the house and saw the man emerge from the car, his heart sank as his anger rose.
"Jackson," he said through gritted teeth.
The man, who was tall and stocky with blue eyes and dark hair, nodded at Bobby. "Hey, Bob. How are ya?"
"I'm good."
"Have you seen her?"
"What if I have?"
"I would like to see her. Is she here?"
"No."
"Where is she?"
"Why should I tell you?"
Jackson frowned. "Listen, I don't know what she told you, but I would like to, at least, clear the air."
"Air seems pretty clear from here. You left. Nothing foggy about that."
"I was young and freaked out."
"Oh, so you grew up so much in ten months?"
Jackson frowned. "So, you're not going to tell me?"
Bobby's eyes caught movement at the edge of the porch. He saw Dean move away, dragging Sam with him around the corner. "She's living above Johnson's Drugs about a mile away from here, but I don't think she's gonna want to see you."
"Yeah, well, she'll have to tell me that."
Bobby's frown deepened. "Listen, you flippant jackass! That woman's the only reason I'm not fillin' your ass full of buckshot right now. But I can't promise I won't if you ever come 'round here again. And if you hurt her again, you're going to have a damned sight more than just my shotgun to worry about."
Jackson's eyebrows rose. His blue eyes snapped, but he nodded. "Yes, sir," he responded, his voice deeper. "Message received."
Bobby glanced over to the edge of the porch where the boys had been before, then glared at Jackson. "Is that all?"
Jackson nodded and turned around to return to his car.
#
#
Dean saw the look on his little brother's face when he heard Jackson's name and turned away from the scene in front of them to push Sam around the side of the house to where the workshop was.
Sam resisted his brother until Dean stopped pushing. "What the hell, Dean?!"
"You need to chill, Sam! Let Bobby handle it."
Sam pushed his hair, which had fallen into his face, back and glared at Dean. "What? Did you hear—?!"
"Yes! And I don't like it anymore than you do, but we need to stay out of it!"
Sam looked incredulous. "What?!" He took a breath to resist the urge to punch something, anything. Instead, he pointed in the direction of the front of the house. "He left her before she even knew she was pregnant. He let her go through everything by herself! And we're, what? Supposed to just send him to her?!"
Dean frowned. "Yes!"
When Sam took a step to return to the front of the house, Dean got in his way. "You want to send him away? You know, as well as I do, she'd be pissed if we did that! And what are you going to say to her, then? Do you want to face her when she finds out? Don't you think she'd want the opportunity to make that decision for herself?" Dean took a breath. "Besides…"
Sam drew back and looked sideways at his brother. "Besides, what?"
"Whether we like it or not, he's Mary's dad."
Sam's eyebrows narrowed furiously. "Yeah? He doesn't even know about her! You don't think it's a little late?!"
"Not for Mary!" Dean growled, trying to keep his voice down, so it wouldn't travel.
Sam tilted his head, incredulous. "What?!"
"Mary's life has just started. If he wants to really be a dad to her…" He took a deep breath and started again. "You don't think she has the right to know him?" He took a breath. "How do you feel about never getting to know Mom?"
Sam paused and straightened. "That's different."
"Yeah. But what if you found out that she was alive and wasn't a part of your life because Bobby kept her from you?"
Sam stepped back, looking at Dean, then took another breath and looked past him. "I'd be pissed. At Bobby and Dad."
Dean nodded. "You want that for Liz and Mary?"
Sam ran his hand through his hair. It took a moment, but he sighed. "No."
"So, we send him to Liz. If he steps up, great. If not, we take him out somewhere and beat the living crap out of him."
Sam nodded, his eyes conveying determination. "Deal."
"Besides, I kinda want to watch him show up at her door."
Sam's eyebrows rose. "Oh, that's not gonna be pretty."
Dean grinned. "Right? Want to take him? Or just follow?"
Sam chuckled and grasped his brother's shoulder. "Thanks, Dean."
Dean's eyebrows rose. "For what?"
"For not allowing me to deprive Liz of the pleasure of kicking his ass."
#
#
Liz walked down the stairs to answer the door. Because it was a glass door, she could see who it was before she got to the bottom. She paused. Then she took a deep breath, willing her heartbeat to slow and her temper to stay in check, and continued to the door.
"Jackson."
"Lizbeth," he smiled at her.
Liz could remember when that smile was enough to make her swoon, but it did nothing for her now. She crossed her arms. "What do you want?"
"I want to make things right."
"I don't think you can do that when you run out on your girlfriend - who you said you loved - when she thinks she might be pregnant."
His dark eyebrows furrowed over blue eyes. "I was scared. I wasn't ready to be a dad yet."
The speaker at her belt made a noise, and she folded her arms across her chest, tilting her head. "Are you ready now?"
His eyebrows rose. "What?"
"I have a daughter," she said. "And she's waking up from a nap. If you want to meet her, come in. If not, go away and don't come back."
He looked up the stairs, then back at Liz. "Yeah. I'd like to meet her."
#
#
Sam and Dean watched Jackson follow Liz into her apartment, frowning.
Dean looked at his brother. "Sam—"
"Just go," Sam commanded under furrowed eyebrows, looking straight ahead.
Dean could see the muscles in Sam's jaw working, indicating deep anger. He knew that feeling and that nothing he could say or do would help his little brother move past it. So he, silently, put the car in drive.
#
#
"Sam?"
"Hi, Liz," Sam became motionless as he spoke.
"Is everything okay? Did you guys catch a case?"
"Ah, no, we're around."
"Oh." There was a pause. "I haven't heard from you in a couple of days…"
"Well, I thought - I mean, we all thought you might want some time with Jackson."
The line fell silent.
"Liz?"
"Can you come over? We need to talk."
Those words caused his gut to twist, but he nodded. "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Yeah, sure. I'll be right over."
#
#
Liz opened the door to Sam and smiled at him. "Hi, Sam. Come in."
He looked down the empty street as if thinking twice, but then followed her inside, then up the stairs. Inside her apartment, he looked around. "Jackson?"
She shook her head. "I think he said he's staying at the Roadside. I guess he'll be by later." She sat down on the couch and patted it for him to sit next to her, which he did.
"Listen, Liz, I understand—"
She touched his lips with her index finger and shook her head. "Sam, wait. Let me say what I need to say."
He nodded.
She removed her finger from his mouth and took his hand in hers. "I need for you to understand that I didn't say that I would go to dinner with you because he wasn't here. I said 'yes' because I want to go out with you. I'm glad you asked me and his arrival doesn't change anything between us."
Sam's blue-green eyes studied hers and found the same honesty he'd always found there. He nodded and pressed his lips together. He looked down at his hands, then raised his eyebrows and looked at her with his head still tilted. "Good to know."
She nodded. "I hope you know that if he wasn't Mary's biological father, I wouldn't have even talked to him."
He nodded, his hair moving into his eyes. He took his free hand and moved his hair back. "But he is, and he's going to have to have a place in your life. Maybe you should consider giving him a chance."
She shook her head. "I will never let that man close to my heart again. It's occupied. There's no room for him."
Sam frowned deeply. "But he's Mary's father."
"Yeah," she scoffed. "Well, I—" She stopped and straightened, pulling her hand from his and folding them in her lap as she bit her lip and looked away.
He put his hand over hers. "Liz?"
She blinked several times, shaking her head. "I don't want you to run for the hills or anything."
He chuckled. "Tell me."
She looked down at his hand on hers and whispered something that he wasn't sure he heard correctly. "I wish it was you."
"What?"
She cleared her throat and spoke again. "I wish you were her father." She shook her head, refusing to look at him. "I mean, you have been all her life." She smiled as if looking at a memory. "Even before, if you count the ultrasound and labor. In every way that counts." She sobered and looked down at their hands. "And I let wishes kind of take over - why do you think I didn't object to anyone calling you 'Dad' during delivery? I was wishing it even then. And since then…" She shrugged a shoulder. "You stepped up in a way that just… I don't know, in my mind, you became her dad… in every way except biology."
When she finished speaking, she looked at him and found him staring at her with eyebrows drawn together, incredulous.
Her eyebrows rose. "Sam? Are you o—"
He reached over to cup her cheek and smiled tightly, moisture coming to his eyes. He nodded. "Thank you for that," he whispered, tightly. "I-I…uh…" he looked down, then back at her. "Thank you."
She smiled up at him, reaching up to push an errant hair out of his eyes, and touch his cheek. "You're still here," she whispered.
He chuckled with a sniff. "Yeah. Not runnin'."
"Good," she whispered, moving her hand into his hair and pulling him to her.
As his lips touched hers, they heard the sounds of Mary waking filtered from the baby monitor on the table. He pulled back and smiled at her. "Let me get her."
Liz's heart swelled the way it did every time she saw this giant of a man hold her tiny child, and she nodded. He touched her cheek again, then stood to walk into Mary's room.