A/N: Well I planned to write this, but ended up starting the new fic instead. The more the merrier right? I originally started this in August because the heat index was 112 and I was tired of the heat lol. Also, I miss 4.0 EO so much. Enjoy! Happy very belated birthday to SoMuchWhatever and Morethanwords229! Thank you to ParallelSoulmates and Oh4FoxSake for beta reading.

Olivia sighed heavily, toying with the end of the compass pendant around her neck as Mcgrath barked into the phone about their latest case.

"Yes, Chief, I understand. We are doing everything we can, but-" she rolled her eyes. The headache that had started earlier was worsening. "Merry Christmas, Chief."

The squadroom was empty. She had sent everyone home to spend Christmas Eve with their families. The only sound was her typing on her computer. She had left all the lights on, though, and her heart rate sped up when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.

"Fin, if that's you, make me some coffee and leave. Actually no, make that Bourbon. Coffee isn't strong enough."

Her hand closed around her gun when she didn't get a response. "Hello?"

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard jingle bells followed by a knock on her office door, and a man in a Santa suit exclaiming cheerfully,

"Ho ho ho! I bring good tidings and egg rolls!"

What the fuck?

Wait.

She knew those eyes and that grin, and he was carrying a takeout bag from Woo Hop.

"El?" Relieved, her shoulders relaxed when he took off the beard and hat and revealed his face. It had been a long week, and she had missed him so damn much.

"Hey, partner."

Olivia smiled, placing a hand over her heart. He had stubble and looked as exhausted as she felt, but it was him. "I thought you said it would still be a few weeks."

"I did say that," his grin widened. "I wanted to surprise you."

"How'd you know I was here and not at home?"

"I texted Fin. He told me you'd been working a tough case and that you were probably still here since Noah is spending Christmas with the McCanns."

"Yeah. I sent everyone else home. Their families want to spend Christmas with them. My son would rather spend it with Ward and June Cleaver."

"Liv-"

She waved her hand dismissively. "Honestly? It's fine. I wouldn't want to spend Christmas with me either."

"I wanna spend Christmas with you."

"You didn't for ten years," she snapped and immediately winced. "Sorry, I'm not in a very good mood today."

"Come here." He opened his arms.

"Are you sure? I haven't showered in two days." She was aching to be held, to let someone else carry the weight she'd been holding, but she wasn't about to admit that out loud.

"You think I care about a little B.O.? I haven't seen you in seven months. Get over here, Captain."

"Aren't I supposed to be the one giving the orders?" she teased.

Elliot chuckled, smiling wider. "Fine, order me to hold you. You seem like you need a hug."

Olivia dramatically lifted her arms in the air. "Hold me, Detective!" She deserved to have a little fun, right?

They wrapped their arms around each other tightly, and Olivia hummed contentedly, resting her aching head in the crook of his neck.

"Better?" Elliot massaged her scalp, and she relaxed further into him.

"Mmhmm. I missed you, El." A few phone calls here and there hadn't been enough. If anything, they had just made her miss him more.

"Missed you too, Liv."

They were silent for a couple of minutes, maybe longer, allowing themselves to enjoy the warmth and safety their embrace provided.

"How was your flight?" she asked, but her voice was muffled by the Santa suit.

"Huh?"

She reluctantly pulled back, but his arms remained around her waist. "How was your flight? Santa Stabler? You know now that you're a grandpa; the Santa look really fits you. Old man with a beard."

"Haha, very funny. The flight was long. I'm tired, my back hurts from some kid kicking my seat, and I was worried about you. You sounded down the other night on the phone. Have you been sleeping ok?" His eyebrows furrowed, and he gave her a concerned smile.

Olivia resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I've been sleeping fine. McGrath's been on my ass, this case is a mess, Ginny McCann is clearly a better mother than I am-"

"Well, that's bullshit-"

She ignored him, continuing. "It's cold, my ankle hurts, I missed you, and my therapist is on vacation, so I've been lonely, pissed, and depressed. Welcome back, Elliot. Your partner is a mess."

"Hey, stop. First of all, Ginny McCann is not a better mother than you for Noah. No one is," he argued firmly.

Olivia scoffed. "Come on, El. Of course she is. She doesn't work a dangerous job where Noah or Connor would have to see her get beat up in the street. She can cook, actually cook, not just heat up something in the microwave."

"You can cook, Liv."

"Not like Betty Crocker of Woodstock can."

"Ok, that's a stretch. Her food isn't that great, and since when is cooking a criteria for being a great mom?"

"Still." She wasn't backing down. "She spends time with her son because work isn't her life, she has an emotionally available husband-"

Elliot chuckled, ignoring her death glare. "Matt McCann is a Hallmark robot, Olivia. He also seems to think it's the 1950s the way he runs that house. Emotionally available my ass."

She crossed her arms in frustration, intent on winning the argument. "Well, he's… committed."

He raised an eyebrow. "Wow. I'm afraid the normalitis is affecting your eyesight, Captain. I bought you a diamond encrusted customized necklace, and I'm standing in your office after seven months dressed in a Santa suit. I haven't even been home yet. My suitcase is in your squadroom. I haven't slept in… I can't tell you how long. I came here because I wanted to see you. What does that sound like? Someone who is emotionally unavailable and not committed?"

She looked at him for a moment before answering. "No, but you're-we're complicated, Elliot. We're messy. They're-"

"Boring. They're boring, Olivia, and that terrifies you."

"Yeah, yeah, cause I have normalitis," she rolled her eyes. "That's not a real thing."

"It is a real thing. I've known you for twenty-five years-"

"Minus ten-"

"Normalitis was scaring you in '99, Liv."

"No, it wasn't. Y2K was scaring me in '99."

"Nice try, smartass. My point is you've never felt like you were enough for the people around you, and you've never felt like you deserve happiness either, but you are and you do."

"You know, when I said my therapist was on vacation, that wasn't a request for you to fill in for him." She glared.

"I don't need a fancy license to know what goes on inside the head of Olivia Benson."

He smiled at her softly as she let his words sink in. In some ways, he really did still know her.

"I just wish I could give him more. That's all," she replied.

"Hey, Noah seems like a pretty happy kid to me, and you don't know that Connor's life is as great as it looks. Noah is almost a teenager, Liv. My kids couldn't wait to get away from Kathy and me when they were that age. Even during the holidays."

Olivia sighed. "I know. You're right. I know I'm whining. I guess… I've missed so many Christmases with him because of this job. Last year I really thought I would get to spend it at home with him, but then I got called in, and I was hoping this year I could make it up to him."

"I get it," he took a chance, pulling her close to him again. "You know I get it, but he'll understand when he's older. Your job has kept him alive and safe and put food on the table, and who wouldn't wanna be friends with the kid who has a badass mom?"

"Really?" She gave him an incredulous look. "Your kids' friends liked that their dad was a cop?"

"Well… no, but I bet to a kid like Connor who lives with June Cleaver-"

Olivia snorted. "You can't stand them either, can you?"

Elliot chuckled. "Like I said earlier, they are boring. I happen to love our normal, our mess, our complicated as you like to call it. I also have a feeling Connor thinks it would be cool to have a mom that goes out and saves the city everyday. It sounds a lot more interesting than a PTA mom who bakes average pies for church bake sales."

"Didn't Kathy used to be a PTA mom?"

"She was a better cook than Ginny McCann."

"You're saying that because she was your wife."

"I'm saying that because the McCanns aren't perfect no matter how much they would like people to think they are, and because a lot of people, including Noah and I, think you're a lot more incredible than you give yourself credit for."

"Well, according to McGrath, I don't actually save the city. I just waste city money and clean up afterwards."

"He's a dick who doesn't belong with SVU. You've been doing this for twenty-five years. None of us are better with the victims than you. What else is bothering you?"

"Nothing. I'm just exhausted. I haven't gotten much sleep lately, and I have a headache. Plus, the cold makes my ankle ache."

Elliot smoothed his hand through her hair, massaging her scalp gently. "Did you take something for it?"

Olivia leaned into his touch, allowing herself to relax against him and let him hold some of the weight she'd been carrying. "I don't have anything here to crush a pill with. I was gonna just deal with it till I got home."

He pulled a small bottle of Advil from his pocket. "Can I try?"

"Try what?" She was puzzled but laughed when she realized what he was asking. "El, come on. You can't crush a pill with your hands. Even if you could, I'm not that desperate."

"I'm Santa, remember? I can make any Christmas wish come true, even pain relief."

She rolled her eyes. "You are not. You're a goofball detective that takes his undercover assignments too seriously."

She watched as he picked up her water bottle and a glass on the desk, stepping in front of her to crush the pill and dissolve it. She was thankful she didn't have to ask. They had talked about the things that happened to her while he was gone, he knew her triggers now, and he was going out of his way to take care of her as he always did. It warmed her heart.

"See?" he grinned smugly.

"Thank you," she replied, taking a sip.

"Anytime, Captain." He lowered himself to his knees. "Can I look at your ankle?"

Olivia sat on her desk, allowing him to take her shoe off. "I don't think I hurt it again. It's just because I'm getting old."

Elliot tenderly massaged her skin. "You want some ice on it?"

"What I want is to go home, but there's not really a point. I'd just be spending Christmas in an empty apartment. At least this way I'd be doing something. I mean that's weird, right? I spent plenty of Christmases alone before Noah."

"But now that you're a mom; it's different."

"Yeah. You know I've never really been a Christmas person, but I guess I just got used to how excited he always is about it. I don't have anyone to be cheerful for this year. I'm glad you're home, though." She meant it. His presence was helping to thaw some of the ice she'd felt surrounding her this week. "I really did miss you."

"I missed you too, Liv."

They stared at each other for a few long moments. He had stood up and sat in the chair across from her desk, caging her in since she was still sitting on top of it as he continued to massage her ankle.

"You can go home if you need to. I'll be fine."

He shook his head. "Not a chance. My house is empty too. I'd rather sit here and eat Chinese with my partner. Have you eaten today?"

"I think so."

"You think so?"

"I remember getting a banana and peanut butter crackers from the vending machine, but I can't tell you if that was this morning or late last night."

"Olivia-"

"Don't judge me."

"I'm not judging you. I'm worried about you. You've run yourself ragged taking care of everyone else but haven't taken time for yourself."

"Don't give me the self care talk, Stabler. I meditated."

Elliot snorted. "Ok, someone is hangry."

"I am not."

He got up from the chair and pulled her down to sit in it, then pulled out the food in the takeout bag. "Eat. Take as much as you want, and I'll have the rest."

"Elliot-"

"Please? For me?"

"Fine."

They ate in comfortable silence for several minutes before Elliot spoke again, looking around her office."You decorated."

"I have a tiny Christmas tree and some garland. Nothing fancy."

He pointed at the window with his chopsticks. "Snowflake stickers."

Olivia laughed. "Churlish did that. She thought it was too green in here."

"Definitely looks better than when this was Cragen's office."

"He did tell me to do something with the place." She laughed again when she looked at Elliot.

"What?"

"Where did you even find that suit?"

"I stopped and bought it on the way to the airport. Figured the grandkids would like it."

"And your ex-partner apparently."

"Partner not ex," he corrected.

"You know what I mean."

"You just seemed like you could use some cheering up the last time we talked. Did it help?"

"It did. It was cheesy as hell, but it helped."

"Good."

Oh, this man.

This sweet, protective, corny, loving, sometimes idiotic man who couldn't write a decent letter to save his life, but who looked out for her like no one else does, and just wanted to take care of her.

Her partner.

Not old, not ex, not former.

Just her partner.

He hadn't even been home to use the bathroom. He'd come straight here dressed as fucking Santa Claus because he thought she'd had a bad week.

Ginny McCann may have a decorated house, fully stocked kitchen, and a husband who was home every night, but Matt McCann was no Elliot Stabler.

And Olivia Benson had Elliot Stabler.

Some days she still didn't know what to do with this older, softer version of the man she'd loved for over two decades. She knew he loved her too, knew he wanted to take care of her, knew that despite her earlier comment he was emotionally available.

Yet, she wasn't sure she'd ever be ready. Wasn't sure she ever could be.

What she was sure of? She was so fucking tired of waiting until she was ready.

She just wasn't sure how to work up the nerve.

Oh, to hell with it.

"El?"

"Yeah?" He looked up at her after throwing their empty cartons of food away.

She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't make any words come out, so before she could talk herself out of it, she walked over, put her hand on his chest, and pressed her lips to his.

He deepened it once he got over his initial shock, wrapping an arm around her waist and tangling the other hand in her hair.

"What brought that on?" he asked in a husky tone when they pulled back. "Is there mistletoe in here?"

"No. Just us."

"Perfect." He growled, kissing her harder this time. She moaned into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He kissed her like he was drinking her in, devouring her, worshiping her, and she found herself not wanting him to stop.

"You, uh," she started, leaning her head back as he nipped behind her ear. "You wanna come over?"

"You sure?"

She nodded. "One thing though, Detective?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Take off the fucking suit."

Elliot laughed. "That the only thing you want me to take off?"

"Shut up and take me home, El."

"Gladly."

Maybe this Christmas wasn't so bad after all.

A/N: Thanks for reading! The rest can be up to the reader's imagination lol this was just a first kiss oneshot.