Lash and Katie were standing in the empty hallway at school.

Lash took a deep breath. "I have…feelings for you, Katie. I love you."

Lash's face was red and he avoided looking at Katie, scared for her reaction. Suddenly, Katie started laughing.

"What?" He looked up at her.

"As if I'd like you!"

Lash woke up in a sweat. What was this dream?! He glanced at the clock. 6:00AM. He was sitting up in bed, regulating his breathing. His hair was disheveled.

He wasn't expecting that. To him, it felt like a nightmare. He hadn't wanted to admit it but…he loved Katie! How could he love her? He didn't deserve her at all! He was unworthy of her love. He felt a rush of anger and he shoved everything on his nightstand to the floor.

Charles rushed into the room after hearing a noise. "Laurence?!" He looked around his son's room, seeing things on the floor. He then noticed Lash's breathing was quicker than normal and he was pale. He rushed to his son, sitting on the bed next to him. "Laurence, what's wrong?! Was it a nightmare?" He noticed Lash's eyes wide and beads of sweat dropped down his temple. "Laurence?" He tried again after no response.

"Dad...I...can't..." Lash said between breaths. He was holding his head in his hands, eyes wide.

"Laurence, you're having a panic attack." Charles told him. "I'm here with you. We're going to control your breathing."

"I...can't...love..."

Charles started breathing in and out slowly. He did that for about five minutes until Lash's breathing started to match his. Once Lash's breathing was slower and controlled, Charles rubbed his back comfortingly. "What happened?"

Lash finally relaxed. He took a deep breath. "I'm..." How was he going to put this? His face went back to its normal color.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, but if this is a subject that you'd rather talk to Spencer about, I can give him a call." Charles offered.

"...That would be great." Lash responded.

Charles got up to go and get his cell phone but before he reached the door to leave the room, Lash stretched and grabbed onto his arm. Charles stopped in his tracks and turned his head to his son.

"Thank you, Dad. I will tell you too...just...when I'm ready." Lash said, his arm going back to his body.

Charles smiled and nodded.

XX

Speed showed up at the Langford residence about 30mins later. "What's going on?" He asked as he got to Lash's room.

Lash was lying in his bed, eyes open. He was listening to music. It helped him relax and not have another panic attack. He took out his headphones. The things from his nightstand were picked up and placed back in their spots. "Did my Dad tell you anything?" He asked.

"All he said was that you wanted to talk." Speed went over to the edge of the bed and sat on it. "So I got out of bed, got dressed and ran over here. Thank god for super speed."

"I'm surprised you got out of bed so quickly."

"Well, my best friend needed to talk so I'm here."

"...Wow."

"Having a sister does this to you."

"Does what?"

"She constantly asks 'do you need to talk'? And I realize conversations are important." Speed shrugged his shoulders. "It has helped me, so I want to help you."

Lash just nodded. When he realized he had to tell Speed, he took a deep breath. He didn't want to have another attack. "I'm in love..."

"With Katie." Speed finished.

"With Ka- excuse me?"

"What? That I interrupted you or that I knew?"

"How did you know?!"

"I noticed the way you look at her." Speed responded. "Honestly, it took you a long time to realize."

"Oh my god." Lash held his head in his hands. Was he obvious? "Yes!" He looked back at his best friend. "I'm in love with Katie. I failed that test so she could still tutor me because otherwise, why would we see each other?!" His voice rose. He felt the panic slowly come back. "When I saw her at the dance, my heart was beating so fast and she looked just so beautiful. I didn't want to leave anymore. We ended up slow dancing too."

"I saw that, it was like all the eyes in the room were on you two."

"I always brushed those feelings aside but after having my dream, I accepted that I love Katie."

"So what's the problem?"

Lash laughed a bit. "Don't you get it, Speed? I can't love her! I don't deserve her! Not after what I did to her in the past. And what I did to her friends."

"That's exactly what it is, the past!"

"Still! She's a sweetheart with the biggest heart and she doesn't deserve someone like me! Her friends don't even like me. I'm a bully and..." His hands went to his head and he bent forward.

"You can't help who you love, dude! And so what if that happened! It's in the past, you don't do it anymore. If you want, I can ask her if she likes you back."

Lash's head snapped up. "Don't you dare!" He spat. "I'm not going to talk to her anymore. I'm going to tell Professor Mikelsen that it was all a mistake and she won't be my tutor anymore."

"Are you sure you want to do that?"

"NO!" He barked. "I don't want to do it! But I'm going to ignore her and treat her like I did before and hopefully she'll forget about me." His anger was replaced by hurt. He didn't want to do this. He already was dreading seeing Katie's hurt expression.

Speed stood, went over to Lash and punched him across the face.

Lash's eyes were wide. "Dude!" He was pissed now, changing expression. "What the fuck was that for?!" He roared. Speed never EVER punched him in the face like this.

"Dude! IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO?!" Speed's voice boomed around the room. "HURT HER LIKE THAT?"

"I HAVE NO CHOICE!" Lash jumped out of bed. "What else do you want me to do?!"

"I've known you for a long time and I can tell that you don't want to do any of what you said." Speed told him.

Lash's eyes widened and he collapsed on his bed, tears coming to his eyes. "No! I don't want to hurt her but I can't think of anything else! What do I do, Speed?!"

Speed sat down with him. "I think you should first tell Professor Mikelsen that it was a misunderstanding and tell Katie gently and just...ignore her after."

"But...she'll be so hurt." Lash said softly.

"It's better than treating her like you did before."

"She'll wonder why I'm avoiding her…oh god…" Lash placed his hands on his head. "I'm trying to figure out the best solution so she doesn't get hurt, but I can't think of anything!"

Speed glanced over at the clock and then looked back over at Lash. "We start school soon, we can think of solutions on the ride there."

Lash looked over at Speed. "School?! You really think I'm going to school?!"

"If you go, you can tell Prof Mikelsen that you don't need tutoring anymore and thus starts the not seeing Katie journey. The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be for you."

Lash groaned.

"And maybe you'll fall out of love." He added.

"I always had feelings for her…I was just pushing them away. After this dream I had, I realized those feelings and accepted it." He said. "I finally accepted that I was in love with Katie."

"And you're pushing her away."

"Okay so?!"

"I think you two would be great together. You two already have been through a lot."

"We also kissed at Christmas."

"…WHAT?! Now you tell me!" Speed shouted. "Dude, you're in love."

"I know! I couldn't get away from her. I wanted to kiss her again. I still want to kiss her."

"Love."

"I felt the need to be around her. Seeing her smile made me happy. Every time I saw her, her beauty captivated me."

"And you want to throw that all away?"

"I don't deserve her. What else can I do?" Lash glanced at the clock. School was starting soon.

Speed noticed. "Are you going to school?"

"I don't want to but I'm going to."

XX

After the first class of the day was over, Lash stayed behind. The other students were gathering their things and packing their bags to leave the class. Lash looked over at Speed and nodded.

Speed nodded back, getting Katie's attention. He said something to her and they left the class together.

With all the students gone, Lash went up to Professor Mikelsen's desk. "Professor? Can we talk? It's important."

Professor Mikelsen was surprised by his request. Lash was not one to speak to him…willingly. He stopped what he was doing at his desk and gave his full attention to Lash. "Of course, have a seat."

"No." Lash responded. "This will be quick."

"Ok, so what-"

"I don't want to be tutored anymore."

"Well Lash, you failed that make-up test and I had said that-"

Lash cut him off. "I failed on purpose."

Professor Mikelsen was taken aback. "You failed on purpose?" He repeated. "I don't understand…"

Lash groaned. Was he going to have to say this out loud to the professor? Admit his feelings? "I…" He then blushed. He can feel his face going red. Now his professor was seeing this! He was thinking of Katie and his face changed color.

Professor Mikelsen understood now. He noticed his student's expression. "You failed that test on purpose? This means you would keep seeing Miss Grey. And you're telling me the truth for you to stop seeing her?" He clarified.

"Yes."

"So you knew the material? But failed on purpose?"

"Yes…"

"Well Lash, not that I don't believe you but you can't stop being tutored because you told me you want to stop." Professor Mikelsen told him. "Your results were already submitted."

Lash sighed. He does have a point. "Can I prove it to you somehow?"

Professor Mikelsen thought about it for a moment. Then he opened a drawer of his desk and pulled out an extra copy of the test he had. "Here is an extra copy of the test I made before the Christmas break. You can fill it out now and I'll correct it. Then I will decide."

Lash took it and went to sit down. He grabbed a pen from his bag and concentrated, writing the answers.

Professor Mikelsen watched as Lash read the questions carefully and wrote the answers. Lash understood what he was writing and did not have a look of confusion. He was impressed. So Lash looked like he was telling the truth.

About 5 minutes later, Lash stood up from his desk and handed the paper to his Professor who was looking at it and looked impressed. He didn't even have to pick up his red pen to correct.

"Mr. Langford, all these answers are correct."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Lash replied. "Professor, isn't that enough proof?"

Professor Mikelsen reached into his drawer again and took out a test he made for Lash. "Here's a test I made for you to take in the next coming weeks. If you get that extra part right, you can stop tutoring."

"Really?"

"Yes." He replied. "Just do that part and get the answers right. Then, you can stop your tutoring."

Lash took the test and sat back down at the desk. He flipped to the extra part and took his time doing it, reading the questions carefully. He wrote down all the answers, stood up and handed the test back to his Professor.

Professor Mikelsen skimmed the test and nodded. "Well, you seemed to have proved to me your knowledge on the subject."

Lash sighed of relief.

"Well great, I can let Principal Powers know and you can tell Miss Grey that you won't be seeing her anymore for tutoring."

"…I-I can't tell her."

"Why not?"

"I think you know why, Professor."

"Because of how you feel about Miss Grey."

That surprised him and his cheeks reddened with color. "P-Professor!"

"It's true, isn't it?"

Lash sighed. "Yes. Look Professor, can you just tell her for me?"

"Why?"

"Because she looked so upset when I told her I failed the test before our Christmas break. How can I tell her it was all on purpose?!"

Professor Mikelsen just nodded. "Alright, Mr. Langford. I'll tell her. You should get to your next class."

"Thank you." Lash hurried off.

XX

In the hallway, Katie went up to Lash, who was at his locker. "Hey! Can we talk? Professor Mikelsen told me about the error he made correcting your test before the holidays."

Lash didn't respond.

"Lash? Is everything okay?" She touched his arm. Now she was starting to get worried.

Lash flinched at her touch. "I'm fine." He continued ignoring her, looking into his locker.

"Okay." She put her arm back to her side. "So that means I won't have to tutor you anymore."

Lash was silent. He wouldn't.

"So…" Katie was going to ask now. "Would you want to be friends?"

"No."

"What?"

"Leave me alone!"

"Lash…? What? I don't understand."

Speed appeared and shoved her to the floor. "What don't you get, Katie? Leave Lash alone, damnit!"

Katie fell to the floor, falling on her side. "Ouch…"

Speed slammed Lash's locker door and pulled him away.

Lash looked back at her with sadness in his eyes and felt guilty. He turned to look ahead of him.

"I'm sorry, dude. I didn't want to do that but…"

"It's fine…this has to be done."

"Okay…"

Lash let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, Katie…"

He walked off.

.

.

A.N: Thank you to everyone for being patient and for taking the time to read. I have decided to make two parts of this story, 25 chapters for part 1 and TBD for part 2. I am slowly working on it.

Until next time!

Tsukasa