Chapter 16: The Dog Star
Mudiwa Onai didn't have the same mystic feel to her like Trelawney had. Luna didn't find it hard to breathe when she first opened the door. The curtains were open to let in natural light and Mudiwa sat normally behind her desk looking over papers like any other ordinary teacher would. Somethings remained the same, however, there was the same disinterested tone from the students. They clearly only took the subject to have some down time in between the more complex classes. This was evident by the paper planes Luna saw going across the room when Mudiwa's was distracted. There was still the usual palm readings and crystal balls, but it was more helpful. Some how, this class was exactly what she needed. Mudawa was more of an understanding counsellor, than a distant, faux seer. At the end of class there was a very pragmatic section on how to deal with predictions. Mudiwa talked about mourning bad predictions, which Luna found very relevant to her situation. For the first time this class was actually speaking to her in a helpful way instead of vague ideas of the future. Mudiwai said that mourning was an important part of healing. Even though she was talking about mourning predictions, Luna knew she hadn't properly dealt with losing her old life. She had shoved her grief deep down within herself and it kept trying to surface at times she least expected. She had focused so hard on her plans to remain disguised while also bringing down a Dark Lord that she hadn't properly mourned her old life.
After class she quickly found what she needed from her dorm and headed for the Great Lake to be alone. Of course the Marauders (minus Peter) were lazing around by their tree. They were probably still trying to work out her hint about the Grey Lady. Luna was fairly sure they wouldn't get anywhere with this clue. She was far too shy, and they had no idea she was in possession of the Diadem that Tom was after. When Luna had woken up at Hagrid's on Saturday after her terrible decision to have a drink, or 10, they had questioned her further about it. She had lied and said that was all she knew. They didn't need to find a Horcrux yet. That would cause issues for her hope to destroy them all at once. Lying was becoming increasingly difficult as she got to know the group more, but necessary for everyones safety. Luna tried to sneak around them without being noticed, but of course Sirius, with the senses of a dog, spotted her.
"Hey Luna, you aren't going out on the Great Lake by yourself are you?" Sirius asked while scoping out the area, making sure they weren't getting any unwanted attention.
"I was planning on it, why's that?" Luna replied briskly.
"Well its a bit dangerous to go by yourself, there's a Giant Squid and Mer People in there. Here, I'll come with you," Sirius said as he climbed into the boat without waiting for a reply. Luna stood still and just stared at Sirius, thinking about the best way to get him out. Sirius caught on to her hesitancy and said, "It's ok, I looked around and no Slytherins will see us out here together." Luna saw that it wasn't worth trying to weasel her way out of this. Sirius looked like he had made his mind up and good luck to any one trying to change it. Luna replied, "Ok, I'll just need a bit of quiet is all. I have some things I need to process and deal with by myself."
Sirius pretended to zip his mouth shut and threw the key out of the boat.
Luna laughed and said, "you are magic you know. Just use a silencing charm instead of miming a probably faulty promise."
'No faith," Sirius replied then pulled out his wand to silence himself.
Floating out in the water was peaceful. Far enough out on the water the faint noise of Mer People singing could be heard. The sun was just starting to hide behind the hill leaving a brilliant orange to spread across the sky. It made Lunas cheeks flush a little when she realised how romantic the setting was. Two people floating across the water at sunset with a guitar.
The moment of peace only lasted a second though, Sirius started waving his arms to get Lunas attention from the sunset. He pointed at her arms and started miming rowing a boat and dramatically wiping absent sweat from his forehead. He then picked up Lunas wand and handed it to her.
Luna smiled and said hiding a laugh, "sorry I don't understand, could you do those actions again?"
Sirius mime sighed and started over the top fake rowing a boat.
Luna exclaimed dramatically, "Sirius Black, you are stabbing yourself in the stomach then sighing and pointing at me. I do not have my period! How rude of you." Sirius face palmed and Luna burst into laughter and then said, "good idea. I'm magic and I don't need to row the boat my self."
Sirius then mimed pointing at Luna, then did a sleeping action followed by him closing his eyes and pretend opening one eye with his hand.
Luna then feigned shock saying, "Sirius you're going to watch me while I'm sleeping! That's creepy!"
Sirius reached into the water and started launching water in Luna directions sending splashes everywhere.
Luna laughed with tears of mirth and lifted her hands to defend herself from the water.
"Ok, ok, sleep with one eye open, empty threat received."
Sirius stopped throwing water and tried to look serious but failed miserably with the corners of his lips still coming up.
"You know, I'm really enjoying being able to tease you without your being able to do anything about it. Actually while you're mute I should tell you, the water from the great lake in your hair makes it look greasier than Snape's." Sirius looked at his hair and shrugged as if he were saying, 'fair enough.' "Ok, not offensive enough clearly. Hmm. The way you look at your motorbike is the same way James looks at Lily. It's a bit much." Sirius mimicked the same shrug as before. Luna laughed and said, "Ok you should be more offended than you are at that one. How about your cat mate prank on McGonagall was trash." Sirius looked offended now and out of nowhere, with no warning, full tackled Luna into the water.
Luna looked annoyed as she surfaced wiping water and hair from her face. Sirius looked too smug for his own good, so Luna started pushing water in his direction. He half heartedly tried to block, but couldn't give it his full attention from controlling his laughter.
Once Luna decided Sirius had received enough punishment, after a long couple of minutes, she stopped. She was about to suggest ways to get back into the boat when she felt something rubbing her leg and froze. Luna looked at Sirius in terror and squealed, "THERE'S SOMETHING RUBBING MY LEG SIRIUS, LETS GET OUT OF HERE." Sirius quickly obliged in helping by balancing the other side of the boat as Luna tumbled her way back in. Luna then reciprocated the help for Sirius, promptly, to get away from whatever was in the water. Once they were safely out of the water, they started taking off their outer layers and drying themselves, as Luna thought through what kind of creatures were out here.
"I think it must have been a Mer Person. Good thing it didn't drag me in. We were too fast for it I think."
Sirius had a knowing grin plastered to his face as they sat back down and started to rub Lunas ankle with his leg.
Luna looked up to him in surprise and then realisation crossed her face. "YOU. I should have known." Luna grabbed her wet Jersey and whipped it in Sirius direction. It made a very satisfying 'smack' on Sirius' bare forearm. Sirius quickly reached for his arm and gave Luna a dark look.
Before he could retaliate Luna said, "Ok, truce. I've learnt my lesson, even mute Sirius is not to be messed with."
Sirius nodded fervently and motioned rolling his hand as if to say, and,
Luna smiled at this and said, "and I'm sorry for hurting your arm."
Sirius kept rolling his hand so Luna said, "and for hurting your pride, by saying hurtful things."
Sirius raised his eyebrows and kept rolling his hand.
Luna thought for a moment and said, "that's all I did wrong, what else do you want me to say? Sirius is the best looking, funniest, smartest, bravest person I know?"
Sirius paused and smiled at that, he then nodded looking chuffed with himself and leant back onto the cushions on the boat to look at the sky. Luna couldn't help but smile at Sirius' antics. She always felt light when she was with Sirius, like her burdens weren't so bad after all. He could make her smile, no matter what situation they were in. The involuntary clenching in her stomach made her realise there was more than that going on too. Catching feelings for someone the age of her Grandparents was unsettling to say the least. But at this point in time, Luna had seen the earth move around the sun more times than they had. Technically she was slightly older. She was stuck here, so eventually she would have to come to grips with this, or be alone. If she did end up with Sirius, she wouldn't be removing any Grandchildren she knew because he'd never had any kids. This was how she tried to justify her feelings anyway. Luna shook her head. This wasn't why she had come out to the boat. Coming to terms with her feelings for Sirius was another issue that could be buried for next time. Right now it was about her family.
Luna wasn't sure how to go about this, most funerals had music didn't they? She decided to pull out her guitar, and played. Music always had a way of helping her process strong emotions. She missed her family more than life, and this is what she sung. She would settle for the ghost of any one of them right now, their memory was like ecstasy to her. After she finished the first song, she couldn't keep singing any more, tears stung her eyes and her voice became too shaky. Sirius moved over to her, picked up her hand and squeezed it wordlessly. Luna squeezed back and decided the next part of a funeral (not that she had been to many) was sharing happy memories. Luna leaned over and picked up the replica blanket that Albus had been gifted, and taking a deep breath she began sharing a memory about Albus.
"I remember the first time I had my heart broken. We'd been together a couple months before the guy showed up 5 minutes late to our date, and without much of an explanation told me I was 'not fun enough' and it was over. I was only fourteen at the time and he ended up hooking up with a sixth year who was apparently willing to do far more with him than I was. I remember finding you, completely beside myself, finding it hard to breathe between tears, and you hugged me and told me I deserved better. You took me to where I was supposed to be going on my date. (Madame Puddifoot's) We saw that they were throwing out old plates and crockery, so you levitated it down to the train tracks with me. We spent half an hour listening to the trashiest break up songs on repeat and throwing and smashing the disgustingly floral plates. I used to tease you about being the most sensitive bloke there was. But I loved how you cared so deeply for people and I was so lucky to have you." Luna picked up the blanket, kissed it then threw it out into the water. She then picked up her wand and wrote his initials in the air, 'A.S.P.'
Sitting back down Luna held on to the cloak and calmed herself down before sharing a memory of James.
"I remember last summer at Rose's wedding. You dragged me out of my seat to come dance with you. You insisted it would be 'a sin not to dance to Shania Twain'. When the chorus came on, you climbed onto the stage, took your shirt off and started swinging it round your head. You then started doing the girliest dancing I'd seen, and sung, 'Man I feel like a woman.' I'd never laughed so hard, seeing the biggest Jock I knew, dance like a girl. Thank goodness Ginny dragged you off the stage before you started twerking. I had to tell, I don't know how many girls, you were straight and single. I miss how much fun we had together dancing madly and how we used to laugh. I've stored up some great memes I'll share with you one day that we can laugh at, just like old times."
Luna picked up the cloak and threw it out into the water, as it floated away, she cast a sparkling charm on it to make it blend in with the water and look invisible.
Luna wiped the tears off her face and picked up the last item which was a replica necklace of the gift her parents had given her.
"I remember the way you taught me what it meant to be part of a loving family. I'll never forget the Saturday night meals where, without fail, you would cook the muggle way. We would come in and try ask what's for tea. And you would say in your best French accent 'Ginerva never tells.' The meals were often so bad, we would end up with take out any way, but it was always our routine to have dinner as a family on Saturday because family was valued above all else." Luna looked over at Sirius and realised she had just talked about family, and she added on for his sake. "Thank you for making me feel part of your family as an adopted child." Luna kissed the necklace and threw it into the water and bent to her knees, staring out at the ripples it made. Silently tears slid down her cheeks and Sirius moved beside her and wrapped his arms around her to console her.
After a long time of staring at the water and crying Luna decided to lay down on her back. All the crying had been exhausting. Darkness had taken over the night sky and stars could be seen scattered everywhere this far away from the lights of the castle. Looking into the sky used to make Luna feel insignificant. The world was so vast and she so small. Not now, though. There were more lives than stars in the sky she would effect negatively if her plan didn't work out, and it made her feel nauseous.
She clung onto the reassurance she felt having Sirius' shoulder nudge into hers as he lay down next to her and looked at the stars. If his life was a star it would be better because of her. He wouldn't go to Azkaban now that he knew about Peter at least. She eyed a bright star and thought to herself, at least I made a difference for that one. Sirius, who she had forgotten was still mute, pointed his arm closest to Luna up at the sky and Luna leant her head against it to see what he was pointing at. It was hard to figure out the exact one he was pointing at, but she could see with his arm movement he was motioning the outline of a dog.
"The dog star?" Luna asked and Sirius nodded. Luna always felt a strong sense of connection to Sirius Black. Even when she only heard stories about him as a kid, he was her favourite war hero because, he too, was a dog animagus.
Luna rolled facing away from Sirius and unbuttoned the first few buttons of her shirt so she could drag it down her back to show her tattoo between her shoulder blades. Sirius reached out and softly ran his fingers over the exposed skin that showed the howling dog. Luna was glad she was facing away from him so he couldn't see the heat in her cheeks at his touch.