**** Sunday 4/29 ****

Alex made breakfast Sunday morning before the group headed up to the hotel to play in the pool for a while. The boys played water-tag, did cannon balls and took turns throwing each other in the pool while Alex and Edgar sat in chairs nearby and watched and chatted.

"What time is check-out?"

"In like 15 minutes," he chuckled.

"You wanna go up and get your stuff and check out so you don't get charged more? The boys can just change in the bathroom over there when they're done."

"Yeah. Will you watch the kids while I do that?"

"Of course." He stood up and leaned down to kiss her in thanks.

"Hey guys! I'm gonna go put our stuff in the car and check out. Be good for a few minutes until I get back, okay?"

"Okay dad!" they called back to him in unison. Alex sat back and felt an amount of relaxation that had been a rarity until recently. She snapped a couple of pictures of the boys as they played and laughed; she couldn't help but smile. They seemed like they'd known each other forever. When Edgar returned to her ten minutes later, he saw that look on her face.

"How you doing, paparazzi?"

"I am doing great."

"Thought so," he smiled. "The guy at the desk said we can stay as long as we want."

"Nice. What time do you think you guys have to start heading back?"

"Probably ought to take off in an hour or so. What are you guys doing the rest of the day?"

"Just hanging out at home... probably talking about you guys," she chuckled.

"Hopefully all good things!"

"I'd imagine so!"

Alex hugged the three new guys in her life before sending them off toward I-5 northbound. She and Austin drove home feeling both happy and tired.

"They seem cool, huh buddy?"

"Yeah. They'll make good step-brothers."

"Slow down," Alex laughed. "We're not quite there yet."

"Well, he's obviously totally in love with you and he seems like a decent guy."

"Yeah but there's still the married thing and the getting-to-know-each-other thing to think about."

"I guess. You're really happy around him though."

"Yeah. I guess I am."

When Edgar and the boys got home to Seattle, Logan and Erik were still talking about how much fun they had with Austin. Their mother had known that they were going down to Portland for the night but she wasn't aware that Edgar had a love interest waiting for him in Oregon.

"Sounds like you guys had fun?" she asked innocently.

"Yeah, we went to this like amusement park place and went swimming and played Play Station games with Austin."

"Yeah, they were really nice too."

"They?" Edgar walked into the kitchen just as his wife was about to learn of his girlfriend's existence.

"Yeah, Alex and Austin."

"Those are boys you hung out with?"

"Alex is Austin's mom..."

"She made really good breakfast!" Louise looked at her husband as she started putting two and two together.

"Who is Alex?"

"She's... I don't know what to say," he admitted.

"You have a girlfriend." Figuring that he just had to come clean for everyone's sake, he spilled the beans.

"I am seeing someone."

"And you brought my kids to meet her?"

"She has a 16 year old son and I knew they'd have fun together. Look, Alex was nothing but kind and considerate around them and everybody got along great. That's all."

"I guess we're really done," Louise acknowledged.

"Yeah. I want you to know that I didn't bring the boys to meet Alex to hurt you or piss you off. In the spirit of transparency, Alex is someone that is quickly becoming a really important part of my life and I just wanted them to meet. That's all."

"Okay." She left the room and, while he felt bad for hurting her feelings, he was so glad to have his new relationship out in the open.

***** Monday 4/30 *****

Edgar and his brother Norman went to their older brother Sig's house for dinner Monday evening. Juna answered the door while Sig put the finishing touches on the salmon he'd cooked.

"Hey Sig!"

"Hey Edgar... Norman. Come on in and help yourselves to a drink." The four of them made small talk as they got their plates and made their way to the table in the dining room.

"Looks great, you guys," Norman commented.

"Yeah. Thanks for the invite."

"Anytime!" Juna smiled. "Edgar, how is Alex? I've not spoken to her in a few days."

"She's awesome," he beamed as he spoke of her. "The boys and I spent the weekend down in Portland with her and her son; had a great time."

"Oh that's wonderful!"

"Sig, I invited her out for cod this weekend. Hope that's cool."

"Did you check with Nick and Jake to make sure they don't mind?"

"No. They won't care."

"Okay," Sig shrugged and shoveled a bite of broccoli into his mouth.

After dinner, Sig and Edgar went out back for a smoke. Sig took the opportunity to touch on the subject of Alex again.

"So, it sounds like it's serious with the girlfriend..."

"Yeah," he sighed happily.

"You don't think you're moving a little too fast? Introducing your kids to her already?"

"Sig, I don't really know how to explain it but Alex is what I've been needing my whole life. She's like the breath of fresh air I've been waiting forever for. She's caring and kind and passionate and smart and funny..."

"Damn, you're really in deep, huh?"

"I know it probably sounds stupid to you but if soul mates are a thing, she's mine." He pulled a tiny felt bag out of his jeans pocket and showed his brother what was inside.

"What the hell is that?!"

"Relax... it's not what you think it is."

"Okay, then what is it?"

"It's just a ring for her to wear so she can look at it and think of me. I mean I just want her to have a reminder that I'm thinking about her." Sig looked over the ring that was covered in delicate gemstones, alternating blue and white.

"Tell me they're not real diamonds."

"They're not. She doesn't like it when I spend money on her too often."

"She seems like a good girl; try not to scare her away by moving too fast."

"I won't."

"I'll stop worrying about you guys."

"It's okay that she comes out for cod, right?"

"Yeah. Of course."

**** Friday 5/4 ****

Alex and Edgar talked and texted several times over the week. He had been doing some engine work on the boat and she had been doing the same old mundane job she'd been doing for over 10 years. She could not wait to leave on Friday and head up to Seattle. She called him Friday to let him know she was finally off work.

"Do you have to run home first?"

"No. I brought my stuff with me."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just a really, really long week. I cannot wait to get the hell out of this parking lot," she chuckled.

"Well, I'll let you go so you can hit the road. Be safe, okay?"

"I will. I'll see you as soon as traffic allows!"

"I'll be waiting!"

Alex's sour mood did not improve as she sat on I-5 northbound crawling through Portland and eventually Vancouver. Colorful language filled her car while she navigated Friday night rush hour traffic. "Pick a fucking speed and go it! Use your goddamn turn signal! Get out of the fucking fast lane, asshole!"

Traffic slowly improved the further she got from the Portland-Vancouver metro area and she tried to relax. She was passing through Tacoma when she realized she'd forgotten to pull Sig's address up in google maps on her phone. Shit. She was not in the mood to pull off the highway, find a place to park then get back on the highway so she opted just to pull to the side of the road. She was sitting in the emergency lane with her flashers on and digging around in her purse for her phone when a state trooper pulled up behind her. Goddamn it! She rolled the passenger's side window down and the officer looked in at her.

"Evening, miss. Everything okay?"

"I'm sorry officer, I'm just lost and trying to put where I'm going into my navigation app."

"You definitely should have taken an exit and not just stopped on the interstate. This lane is for emergencies."

"I know. I'm so sorry."

"Can I see your license and registration?"

"Of course." Alex provided the requested documents and the trooper looked them over.

"I suggest you take the next exit up there, Miss Swanson, and finish setting your course on your phone."

"I will. Again, I am so sorry. I made a dumb decision."

"No harm, no foul. Be safe."

"Thank you, officer. You too." He walked back to his car and she quickly pulled up the directions to Sig's and pulled back onto the freeway. I am not exiting; fuck that.

Edgar saw Alex finally pull into Sig's driveway and excitedly went out to meet her. It felt like it had taken her days to get there. She stepped out of the car and he could feel the stress radiating from her.

"You okay?" Tears emerged and he pulled her into his arms. "What happened?"

"This week at work sucked, people drive like assholes, I got pulled over..."

"Oh, Alex." He kissed the side of her head as he held her. "I'm so sorry. Do you wanna skip socializing tonight and just head to the boat?"

"No," she sniffled. "I don't want Sig and Juna to feel like I'm blowing them off."

"They would understand."

"I'll get it together." She pulled away, dried her face and smiled. "See?" She took a deep, cleansing breath. "And I'll feel even better when you kiss me hello." Taking her face into his hands, he leaned in to give her a sweet, loving kiss. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes with that look that always melted her.

"Better?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Good girl. Come on, let's go inside for a few minutes then we'll take off." He offered his hand and she slipped hers into it. They spent about 20 minutes with Sig and Juna before heading off to the boat for the night.

Alex and Edgar sat in the galley eating the chicken strips they'd gotten from Wing Stop on their way to the Northwestern. He could tell she was still a little frazzled.

"You wanna talk about work or anything else?"

"Nah, it's nothing worth talking about. I already have a headache."

"Lemme get you some meds. We got Advil and Tylenol."

"Awesome. I'd love two of each."

"You got it." He went to the head and found the two bottles. Sitting back down beside her, he handed her four pills.

"Thanks."

"You know what else is good for a headache?" he whispered against her ear.

"What?" she chuckled.

"Orgasms."

"That's true."

"It is?"

"Yeah. They release endorphins which are like happy hormones."

"I'd be more than happy to help you out."

"You'd take one for the team?" she teased. "Thanks Edgar."

"Anytime."

***** Saturday 5/5 *****

It was early-to-rise on Saturday morning as Sig, Nick and Jake all arrived just before 7am. Alex was feeling much better today and she was excited to meet Nick Mavar and Jake Anderson who she'd also been watching on TV for years. As Edgar had suspected, no one took issue with his girlfriend going on the cod trip with them.

Edgar and Jake threw together a nice breakfast as Sig navigated through the locks from Ballard into Shilshole Bay toward Puget Sound. Alex sat up in the wheelhouse with Sig and he pointed out interesting sights and told her fascinating stories while expertly steaming through the water. He wanted to broach the subject of her relationship with his baby brother but wasn't sure if it was appropriate or not. What the hell?

"Edgar talks about you all the time."

"Really?" He nodded. "That must get annoying," she chuckled.

"No, it's fine. I just mean that he's really in deep, you know?"

"Yeah. I see it... Do you worry about that?"

"I did at first. He's still married and they still live together and there's kids involved. I just don't want anyone to get hurt... him, the kids or you."

"I appreciate that. I mean, he is moving like really fast..."

"Do you worry about that?"

"Sometimes, I guess." She shrugged and chose her words carefully. "I just want us to really get to know each other before we... I don't know, get all the way serious?"

"Smart girl. I know I don't know you well at all but Edgar's no angel. He's got his skeletons and baggage like most guys our age. He can be gone for months at a time."

"Yeah. I've thought about those things. But I've got baggage too. I just want to make sure he still likes me this much once he knows more about me."

"You're a good girl. You seem like you're smart and hard-working. Edgar raved about how fantastic you are with the kids, both yours and his. Juna already thinks the world of you."

"She's great," she smiled over at him. "You may have hit the wife-jackpot."

"I definitely did," he agreed. Edgar came up the narrow stairway carefully carrying two plates of food.

"You guys hungry?"

"Absolutely."

"Always," she smiled at him.

"Sig, you wanna go down and eat in the galley? I'll take over if you want."

"No, you guys go ahead down. I'm good up here."

After Alex and Edgar cleaned the galley, they went out onto the deck together to get some fresh air and enjoy the beautiful scenery. They stood at the rail, he with his arm around her waist, just talking.

"Remember when you asked me why you that first night we met? What was it that drew me to you?"

"I do. I remember everything about that entire day and night," he smiled.

"Now I wanna know... when did you know that day that you wanted it to be more than just meeting some random person for lunch and having a conversation before sending said random person back to Oregon?"

"Well... I knew during lunch that I wanted to at least spend a few more hours with you. Our personalities and senses of humor seemed to mesh so well together. Then when I was driving and you were singing along to the music, you had this passion on your face that was so amazing. And you get so excited about stuff... that's one of the many things I love about you."

"Excited about what stuff?" she smiled.

"About seeing Green Lake and going to the Space Needle and the museum and Sloop Tavern... But what really did it? Was when you reached over the water from the dock and touched the boat for the first time. It might sound weird but the genuine excitement and awe on your face... it was really beautiful."

"I do get excited about stuff. Sometimes it's the little things or it might not even be a thing at all to other people but yeah... I guess I get excited about stuff."

"Like I said, one of the many things I love about you." He kissed her sweetly then, deciding that now was the right time, reached into his front left jeans pocket and pulled out the little velvety bag. "I got you something."

"Edgar," she smiled and cocked her head to the side. "What'd I say about spending money on me?"

"It's not a big deal... and I don't want you to freak out about it..."

"Oh jeez, what is it?" She saw the beautiful ring and looked into his eyes for answers.

"I picked blue and white like the boat," he smiled proudly. "Do you like it?"

"Edgar, it's gorgeous... but what is it for?" Reading her anxiety loud and clear on her face and in her body language, he knew he needed to explain... quickly.

"I just wanted you to have something to look at that would remind you that I'm thinking of you. Just something to hopefully make you smile sometimes... maybe if you're having a bad day... or whenever. That's all." She looked back down at the ring in his grip and tried to calm down. It's just a memento. "Look, I even got the size that will fit on your middle finger so it doesn't feel like a scary ring-finger ring." Taking her left hand into his, he slipped the new piece of jewelry on to her middle finger. It fit perfectly. "Sig told me not to scare you away by moving too fast. Please don't be scared."

"Edgar, it's been two weeks! We hardly know each other. What if you get to know me and decide you don't really like me as much as you think you do now?"

"That's not gonna happen, Alex. I know you're nervous and I know I'm moving too fast. I swear I'm trying not to but I'm a thousand percent sure about you."

"But sometimes I'm bitchy and emotional and sometimes I'm stubborn and I get anxious and depressed and detached. Edgar, I am scared. We just met."

"Alex, I've never been romantic or overly emotional and I've never felt this way about anyone... but doesn't it feel like this is meant to be? There's a reason I responded to your letters and we met and we hit it off so well. It's not a coincidence that we are so damn compatible on so many levels. Don't you think maybe I could be the guy for you?"

"Of course I think that."

"Then what's holding you back?" He tucked a tuft of her fluttering hair behind her ear and waited for her answer. Her lips parted but no words came out so he took the opportunity to kiss her lovingly. Closing her eyes, she let him kiss his love into her. When he pulled back to smile at her, she finally said what had been gnawing at her.

"I thought Austin's dad was the guy for me at one time. And I was so wrong."

"I'm not him, Alex. Please give me a chance. I will not hurt you, ever." Feeling that he was swaying her, he knew he had to tell her now despite risking scaring her even more. "Alex, I am in love with you. I've almost told you I love you so many times now. I'm so sorry if I'm moving too fast and making you nervous. I just want you to know how I really feel; I need you to know."

"I am scared," she reiterated. "I'm scared that the distance will make this too hard and that you being gone for weeks or months at a time will be too hard. I'm scared about you still sharing a house with your wife. I'm scared that your daughter will hate me forever... and that once we've been together for a while, the newness will wear off and you'll lose interest."
"Alex..."

"I am scared, Edgar... but I am in this with you."

"Can I say I love you now? Or is it still too much too soon?" He held his breath watching her eyes mist up and waiting for her answer.

"You gotta give me time to say it back."

"But I can say it?" She finally nodded and he let out a sigh of relief before pulling her into a warm, thankful embrace. Sig, who had been watching them via the on-deck cameras that fed up to the wheelhouse, smiled to himself. He knew damn-well that Edgar really loved this girl... or at least believed he did. He'd never seen his brother act like this over a female before and the little bit that Sig knew about Alex on a personal level made him like her too. He knew that the only kind of relationship that would last for Edgar would have to include an incredibly caring, nurturing and patient woman. The only reason that he and Louise had lasted so long is that they'd been together since just after high school and it had become comfortable and routine. It wouldn't have been worth the effort to divorce and start all over in their forties.

Edgar and Louise hadn't actually talked about getting divorced or even separated, it just sort of happened. Edgar stopped calling home as often when he was out fishing. He'd started sleeping in the guest room more and more often. They'd stopped eating meals together and running household errands together. They eventually recognized what was happening and neither of them really did anything to change it. Sig turned the monitor off and let Alex and Edgar be truly alone on deck.

While Alex had fun fishing with the guys on Saturday and spending some time with Edgar, Sig and Juna on Sunday, she was thankful to be hitting the road toward home on Sunday evening. She did care about Edgar and she'd already known that he cared about her but this was feeling like too much. She'd never even told a man, other than her ex-husband, that she loved them. She'd been single for years and had only been on a couple of dates in those years. Now, all of a sudden, there was a man very much engrained in her life again and it was terrifying. Edgar seemed to be the only one that didn't see how freaked out she really was.

"You're smothering her," Juna cautioned as soon as Edgar came in from saying goodbye to Alex.

"What are you talking about?" he chuckled.

"You are moving too fast with her and it's making her nervous."

"Did she say something to you?"

"She doesn't have to. She fidgeted with that ring you gave her all evening." He looked to his brother to confirm or deny this concern.

"You need to slow down, man."

"But won't she take that to mean I don't care as much as I say I do?"

"Edgar," Juna stepped back in. "You can still show her how you feel but just tone it down, just a little."

"I wouldn't go buying her anymore jewelry right now," Sig advised. Seeing the worry on her brother-in-law's face, Juna spoke again.

"Just take cues from her and slow down when she needs it. You'll know." He nodded in understanding and opted to head home to think about what they were saying to him.

Alex had taken the opportunity on the open road to crank up her Twenty One Pilots playlist and sing her heart out with lead singer Tyler Joseph. "Am I the only one I know waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Shadows will scream that I'm alone but I know we've made it this far, kid. I am not as fine as I seem! Pardon me for yellin' I'm tellin' you green gardens are not what's in my psyche, it's a different me..." Tyler's words frequently acted as a free therapy session for her and she needed one right now. "Behind my eyelids are islands of violence, my mind shipwrecked. This is the only land my mind could find. I did not know it was such a violent island, full of tidal waves, suicidal crazed lions. They're trying to eat me, blood running down their chin and I know that I could fight or I could let the lion win. I begin to assemble what weapons I can find cause sometimes to stay alive, you gotta kill your mind..."

Pulling into her driveway just after 9:15pm, Alex felt much better. She'd had time to sing her feelings out and think about what was really going on in her life. A guy I've wanted for years is in love with me! He's kind and hilarious and sexy and good to my kid and his own kids... I should really just see how this all plays out. She looked down at the ring on her left middle finger and smiled at it. He'd purposely gotten it in colors that would make her think of the boat and he'd made sure it was the right size for her middle finger specifically so it would not scare her. Both of those facts showed her the amount of thought he'd put into this.