Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of its associated characters!
Summary: Sasuke has spent three years trying to figure out how to live on his own. Maybe it's time to try something different. WIP. Future SNS, updates once a month. Canonverse. Rating may change!
A/N: I went a bit wild this month, and wrote a whole bunch. A big thank you to the folks on tumblr who voted on what I should post! It's just gonna be this for now, although the next chap is ready - but now I can focus on sns month. Which will hopefully be super fun. so lots of writing to come! But for now - more two is a crowd. hope you like it!
Two is a Crowd
Chapter 21: if not a type of understanding
They stayed for a few more days. A few simple nights, a few tender mornings. It took longer than Sasuke expected for his mind to start to…fizzle. Buzz. He felt it in the back of his head—birds, flapping their wings and scattering their feathers. Insects skittering about—vermin scratching at the walls. He didn't know what to do with the feeling until it was too late.
It had already built.
He broke, sometime around when they should have been eating. They'd fallen into a routine. Naruto found three ramen places. He'd taken pictures of food. He had his preferred breakfast. It was so simple. Mundane. Happy. Wrong.
Sasuke stood in this room, and these walls had grown whiter.
"Wanna go out for food, then?" Naruto asked, and he was smiling. He was switching shirts. His skin was tanned and smooth and Sasuke's head was whistling, but it was already full. It was already rotting.
He had a nightmare last night.
Naruto had been smiling at him, just like this.
It fell off slowly. It fell as he scanned Sasuke's face. It fell as he looked at the person who'd done this to him. Done all of this. The faltering smile and the too-clean skin. Layers and layers of invisible scars—Naruto's body didn't even have the decency to show them. Every inch of him was built to hide his pain. Cover it. Smile through it.
Sasuke had been falling for the lies, too.
He made himself sick.
He stood with a churn in his stomach. Stood with the nausea. There was nowhere to go in this mundane little room, and all at once, it was too much. Sasuke didn't belong here. Sasuke didn't belong here. Where was the blood on the walls? Where were the cobwebs, where was the dirt, where were Naruto's scars? Where were Naruto's scars? Where—
"Hey, hey, hey, Sasuke, breathe, just breathe, hey—"
Sasuke felt the gentle hands and soft skin and Naruto was whispering and tender and loving him and it was wrong. It was wrong. It was wrong, it was wrong, it was wrong, it was wrong—
Sasuke tried to push him away but his hand was trembling. It pushed Naruto's chest. It clutched to his hand. He couldn't seem to let go. He couldn't seem to let go.
"You should leave," he begged, and Naruto shook his head.
"Never. I never will."
It was a promise and it was brutal, it twisted up in Sasuke's insides, coiled them tight like a snake—Naruto didn't break his promises. Fuck. Fuck.
"You deserve more."
"No. No, Sasuke—"
"It's too much. Naruto. It's too much. It's all—
"It's not, Sas—"
"Stop forgiving me!" Sasuke snapped, and it was broken. "Stop! Hold me accountable for one fucking thing, Naruto, I swear to God, I am not an innocent man!"
"Yeah, well, neither am I!" Naruto shouted back. "We're fucked up, Sasuke! That's the whole fucking point!"
He breathed heavy. Sasuke felt himself want to cry. It made him feel sicker.
"You know," Naruto said, and his chest fell with the words. He threw his hand out, like there was nothing else around them. Sasuke was still clawing the other one, the unbandaged one, the way a starved hawk would claw a mouse. Desperate. Desperate.
"You know me. You know—we're not like them," Naruto said, gesturing out to the window, the lights and the laughs and the voices, the voices. "We were raised in shit and it got all over us."
Sasuke swallowed. His throat felt like the walls of an unfinished well. Thick. Muddy. Impossible to climb through.
"So what? Let's get fucking clean. Come on."
"I don't think I can," Sasuke told him and Naruto shook his head.
"That's 'cause you can't see yourself. But I can. I've always been able to."
Sasuke pressed his lips together. Naruto was calming his breath. Naruto was still holding his hand.
"I can see you, Sasuke."
His eyes burned. His head felt so…tired.
"Since when can you touch me?" he tried, and Naruto's hand twitched, but stayed.
"Since you started being an idiot," Naruto told him, and Sasuke's heart was being torn in two. There was a searing in his chest. A fire that was burning him from the inside out. Naruto, stifling his own discomfort for a chance at Sasuke's benefit.
A familiar sight.
He stepped back, and broke the touch with a snap.
"Do it for yourself next time," he muttered, and he turned away. Naruto was still shirtless and smooth and clean. Unblemished. Unsmiling. He looked hurt. He looked as if Sasuke hurt him.
At least his eyes didn't lie.
Naruto skipped breakfast. Sasuke skipped lunch. Naruto paced and worried and Sasuke stared at white walls and waited for the will to live to return to him. It was somewhere in the smile Naruto didn't have. It was somewhere outside of the buzzing in his head.
"I can't be mad at you, though," Naruto said, and he was trying again. He was turning over Sasuke's words like meat over a flame, and it was well-charred now. It was blackened and seared to the stick. It'll fall away into nothing, soon. "If you want me to blame you—I can't."
Sasuke looked at him as if he was going to reply. Naruto didn't let him.
"No, you don't get it, it's not that I won't, it's that I literally fucking can't," he insisted, and it was panicked. He jabbed at his chest as if it held the thing that stopped him. "I tried. Everybody told me to try, and I did, Sasuke—I really—"
"Hold me accountable," Sasuke told him, and he was glaring. His eyes burned so hot his vision started to blur. He was so tired.
"For what?! For what everybody else did to you?! Sasuke—"
"The letters," Sasuke said, and Naruto stalled. It was something. It was something.
"We—we talked about that."
Sasuke's chin raised.
"And you never held me accountable."
Naruto swallowed. He didn't know what Sasuke was looking for. He didn't know what to do.
Sasuke did.
"They were annoying," Sasuke told him. "They were constant. You told me everything and nothing and expected me to reply to it all."
"I—I know that they were overwhelming. I know that you—"
"You never even bothered coming out to search for me," Sasuke told him. "Rumours of my well-being were enough. Right? Too busy."
"Okay, that's not—I was busy and I still—"
"A true Hokage. A true ninja of Konoha. No reason to leave, was there? No reason to look for anything outside of your village walls—"
"I stayed because of you, you asshole!" Naruto snapped. "And me, and Haku and Neji and Gaara and everybody else that the system fucked up—how was any of that going to change if I didn't start it, huh? How am I supposed to tell you not to take your revenge and then not do anything about it? How am I supposed to tell you to come home if I wasn't even—"
Naruto's voice broke. But Sasuke was winning. Sasuke was sitting up, and he was winning.
"I wrote about fucking everything because you weren't there to see it," Naruto told him. "It was the only stupid way I could have you there, so I took it, and it didn't even work. It didn't even work."
He gave up. He sat against the wall with Sasuke, holding his head in his hands.
Sasuke sagged, too. Damn it. He'd been so close.
"You're terrible at this," Sasuke told him, and Naruto's head jerked up. "You can't even yell at me properly without turning it on yourself."
Naruto squinted at him.
"You bitch," he whispered. "That's what you're trying to get me to do."
Sasuke only looked at him.
"I thought I was fairly clear," he said, easy and simple. "Hold me accountable. Stop forgiving me. Enough."
"You're asking me to stop breathing and telling me not to die," Naruto shot back, flopping with such intensity his head hit the wall with a thump. "I'll get right on that, fuckface."
Sasuke felt his eyebrows raise.
…
Naruto punched him in the foot. Softly, with the bottom of his fist.
It lingered.
…
The bile started to build. Sasuke moved his foot away.
Naruto sat up with a jolt and snatched it back.
"And fuck you for that, too, while I'm at it," he said, as if he wasn't trying to tear Sasuke to the ground. "I don't do this because you want me to. You prick."
He held Sasuke's foot half into the air, and Sasuke had never seen anything less elegant.
"You have a tendency to place the needs of others above your own," Sasuke pointed out, unmoving. "You will actively ignore what you need, to the point of convincing yourself you never needed it at all. Your difficulty in coping with touch borders on bodily rejection. But in moments like these, you've been cured."
His head rolled along the wall.
"Forgive my suspicions for overcoming me."
Naruto's lips thinned. He let go of Sasuke's foot, but Sasuke didn't move—he stayed in the slouched, slumped form Naruto had pulled him into.
"You really pick and choose what you wanna believe, huh?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke felt as if he should ready himself. He just felt this was going to be a hit. "Why can't I stand being touched, Sasuke?"
Sasuke closed his eyes.
"You know me," Naruto's voice prompted. "Come on."
The lump was back. The burning was back. But Sasuke's head had grown eerily quiet.
"Because you do not think you deserve kindness."
"Yep! There ya go!" Naruto laughed. It physically hurt to hear. "You don't think I want it, though? You don't think I want—kindness? You don't think I want to—"
Sasuke's eyes opened. Naruto's smile was tilted and fraying. A rope that had fallen into threads. Sasuke snatched his hand out of the air and held it there. Awkwardly. It was on the wrong side. So was Sasuke's. It had to cross their bodies—Sasuke had to turn, Naruto had to turn, they had to face each other and face this, and Sasuke was so, so tired.
"I had a nightmare," he said, and Naruto blinked.
"Oh. Oh," he heaved in a breath, and heaved it out tenfold. "That's why. Fuck. I should've—I missed it. I was in the shower."
"You were in my way," Sasuke continued quietly. "Itachi was behind you. You wouldn't let me through."
"Sasuke…"
"I killed you." Sasuke didn't look at him. "And you smiled. You said it was okay. That you understood. That you forgave me."
Naruto heaved out a breath and used their awkward hands as a pull. He rested the front of his forehead against Sasuke's shoulder—some sort of taste of comfort. Sasuke felt like he was burning.
"Fucking hell," Naruto sighed, and Sasuke wanted to collapse. "Wanna lead with that, next time?"
He didn't even deny that he'd do it. Sasuke bet that he would. He slid back, along the side of the wall. The world was too heavy. The air was too thick. He laid on the ground, and he'd pulled Naruto to fall on top of him.
The world was too heavy for him, too.
"Sorry," Sasuke whispered, and Naruto's weight shifted.
"You've set me up," Naruto told him, and his eyes were closed. "I can't say it's nothing."
Sasuke didn't argue with that. He wasn't sure that he could argue much of anything anymore. The rage and angst and buzzing in his head was gone, now—replaced with the only thing Sasuke could focus on. Naruto's weight was—soft. Warm. Sasuke couldn't remember what the purpose of a blanket would be.
"And fuck you," Naruto said, with a low, sleep-sunken voice. "I know you loved the letters. You won't even let us buy too much food and you're dragging them around the whole stupid world."
"That doesn't prove anything."
"Y'know what would? Throw one out." Naruto opened his eyes, and rested his chin on Sasuke's chest. It was a sharper sensation. Sasuke's stomach twisted with it. "Get up and throw one out, right now."
Sasuke's stomach twisted again.
"You're holding me here."
Naruto's smile widened.
"Really?" he asked. "That's the excuse you're going with?"
Sasuke didn't have a better one. He swallowed, but he didn't reply.
"Yeah," Naruto said, putting his head back down. "S'what I thought. Annoying." He laughed. "Should've known you were fucking with me right there."
Sasuke breathed out and stared at the ceiling. It seemed more…grey, than a moment ago.
Naruto shifted, again, and Sasuke's attention returned to him.
"You're uncomfortable," Sasuke said, and Naruto—
"No. Not really," he said. "I'm just…here. Feel my pulse."
Naruto shifted so his neck was exposed. Sasuke tentatively placed two fingers to a place he hadn't checked in years.
The fear still felt the same.
Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthum—
"You're freaking out," Sasuke said, and Naruto's breath was distinctly low and slow. He was trying to stabilize himself.
"Yep," he said. "Trying to work through it. It's all in my chest, y'know. It all just…"
He rubbed at the fabric of his shirt, as if trying to free something there. Sasuke knew the feeling. Sasuke knew it far too well.
"You don't have to push yourself," Sasuke said, but Naruto only breathed in response.
"I want to," he said softly. "I want to be here."
Sasuke swallowed. Naruto's eyes opened, blue and sad. Sasuke…gently reached around the back of his neck, and pinched just behind his ear.
"Ow! Dick." Naruto complained, unmoving.
Sasuke tilted his head.
"Did it help?" he asked softly, and Naruto…blinked. Sasuke pinched him again. He didn't mean it to be gentler. Did it help his hand touch if his nails scraped first? Sasuke didn't…
"I think it did," Naruto said, and Sasuke trailed his nails down Naruto's spine. "I think it…um…"
Sasuke trailed back up. And down. And up again. It was absent-minded, and Sasuke was so focused on distinguishing Naruto's heartbeat from his own, he didn't realize the way it…felt.
He met Naruto's eye, and his hand froze.
Naruto inhaled.
…
He could feel Naruto's heart through both of their chests, now.
"Sorry," Sasuke said again, and he let go. He'd done enough today. He'd done too much today. Naruto breathed in and sat up and insisted that it was—
"Totally fine—good, even, I did good—right? That was—"
But he was nervous, and Sasuke was nervous, and his guilt was painted over his eyes like lenses he was forced to see through today. That dream had been—it hadn't even been Itachi. Itachi had been a formless shape, a dark mass, looming over them the way he had all of Sasuke's life, but Naruto—
Naruto had been real. Vivid. Sasuke knew what it looked like to watch the light leave someone's eyes. He'd seen it. He'd held Naruto in his hands. It was just—
Just too much.
…
At least Naruto had been a little mad at him. Over the things he got wrong, which Sasuke supposed made sense, but Sasuke still felt some sort of—intensity in him, to make things right. Better. He tracked down a courier ninja, who recognized them on sight (Naruto, in awe, and Sasuke, in fear). Naruto's letters to Konoha were better sent in bulk this way, and they were close enough, now, that a full speed travel wouldn't take too much time. From any ninja—not just the two of them.
They left another letter for a different courier to go to Killer B, with Sasuke's quiet insistence that his own hawk would not, necessarily, receive a warm welcome. His hawk was better to go to Karin, anyway, who would know it on sight, and although there was one more name—
"I'll send Gaara's later," Naruto insisted. "Um. I'm still—y'know. Thinking."
He was avoiding something, but Sasuke let it slide. He gave Naruto a nod, and carried their camera. They tried ramen again for dinner—a different flavour. It still was not as good. Naruto wasn't disappointed, but he wasn't as thrilled as he could have been.
Sasuke wondered if he needed to learn how to cook.
It was a fleeting, insane thought. He'd had it before. He'd stamped it out. It came back to him, though, like a butterfly made out of paper. Unkillable. Fluttering. Naruto took a nap in the afternoon sun, and Sasuke thought that they needed to go through some ingredients, still, that the farmers had given them. It would have been a shame for them to go to waste. And Naruto had never minded the same meal twice. Especially if it was ramen.
He didn't know what he was doing, but he tried. He was no stranger to cooking, really—he knew the motions. He knew the techniques. But Sasuke had only eaten out of necessity. Out of need. He was lost when it came to taste and lost when it came to flavour. There had been no need for either when everything tasted like ash in his mouth. Sasuke spent most of his youth sick to his stomach. Trying to eat food—trying to plan out food that he'd want to eat at all—
It'd been a lost cause.
…
It didn't seem to be anymore.
Sasuke didn't know when that had changed
He followed a book. For beginners. Take premade packages, add whatever else you have, and call it your own. It felt like cheating, but Sasuke was not particularly ethical anyway.
Naruto woke somewhere into the simmering—just about when the scent filled the room.
"What's going on?" he asked, rubbing at his face. "Are you—?"
Naruto blinked at the pot. Sasuke frowned at it, too. It looked off. He didn't even know how it was supposed to look.
"Sasuke—"
So much for avoiding waste.
"I'll pour it out."
"Wh—no!" Naruto leapt around the corner. "No, no, no, no way in hell, give me—is it done? What the fuck, Sasuke?!"
Naruto spun around three times before he remembered where the bowls were.
"It's instant," Sasuke said quickly. "I just added some—"
"I don't care!" Naruto sang, and that was that. He was delighted. He was obsessed. He was way too satisfied with basic things. Sasuke wasn't even sure he could call this cooking. But Naruto did. Naruto called it that a thousand times. He rambled so much, Sasuke started to think he'd run out of breath.
"Hang on," Naruto said, spinning around with a bowl that was thankfully empty. It would be his fourth. "You didn't do this as like a—like an apology or something. Did you?"
Sasuke took the bowl from him. He was here anyway.
"Did you?" Naruto asked again, and Sasuke filled it.
"...Sasuke—"
"I regressed this morning," he said, still—not fully recovered. Still tired. Still foggy. But it was an explanation.
"No, you didn't," Naruto argued, and he wouldn't even take the stupid bowl, now. Sasuke had filled it for nothing. "You didn't regress—"
"Well, it wasn't motion forward," Sasuke muttered, sliding it onto the table.
"You talked to me the whole time," Naruto pointed out, following him. Never leaving him alone. "You never tried to leave or anything."
"I told you to leave."
"Yeah, but you weren't gonna let me," Naruto said, laughing. "Sas—you don't think I know you're gonna have bad days? You don't think I won't have them, too?"
Sasuke knew. Sasuke knew all this.
Naruto laughed again.
"This is your stupid perfectionism stuff coming out again," he said. "You're gonna get so anal about how we do this."
"Do what?" Sasuke said, and Naruto waved vaguely around them.
"This," he said, like it was an explanation. Maybe it was. Sasuke narrowed his eyes, and Naruto spun around to grab the bowl that Sasuke had poured for him. He was blue and yellow today. Wearing a light, simple beige. It was making him glow all over. Sasuke still didn't understand how any of this could…be.
"We'll leave tomorrow," Naruto told him, a mouth full of noodles. "But you've gotta make breakfast."
"No," Sasuke said, but he was fully intending on it. "Where are we going?"
"I dunno. But you hate crowds. This was just to get the camera. And get clean and stuff."
And get ramen. Naruto didn't need to mention that part.
Naruto stuffed his face again, and Sasuke grabbed the camera. Naruto blinked when it went off, but he let Sasuke get away with it. Again. Sasuke was feeling more like a criminal now than he ever did before—constantly getting away with things he never ought to. Perhaps that was where the dream had come from. This feeling.
He was waiting for it all to be ripped away. Good things always were.
Naruto blinked and stopped eating, staring at him.
"What?" he asked, and Sasuke shook his head. He sat down. Didn't eat, but he sat at the table, next to the kitchen, in front of Naruto. The light shone in from the window.
Something about it made the walls seem yellow.
They didn't linger for too long, after that. Naruto took a bath. Sasuke made eggs, but—focused on flavour. Added green onions. Bread. Seasoning. Texture. Naruto found something about that to be awe-inspiring, too, and Sasuke's reward was a Naruto that forgot to put his shirt on.
It was more of a punishment.
He busied himself with packing, wondering if it was the scars again. It—was, but it wasn't. It was the same thing he'd felt when they'd been in the hot springs. It was the steam. It was the wet. It was the blue and the yellow and Naruto, smiling at him. Naruto, looking at him. Naruto—
"Um," Naruto said. "Did you pack all my clothes?"
Shit.
Sasuke grabbed the first shirt he found and threw it at him. It was one of his own. Naruto noticed. Even for him, it would have been difficult. There was the Uchiha crest, sewn right over his heart. Sasuke raised his chin at Naruto's questioning gaze.
"What difference does it make?" he asked, and Naruto—
"I guess—I guess none. Thanks. Um."
He pulled it on. Paused at the fabric when it was just over his mouth. Paused again, as if alarmed at his own thoughts. Sasuke scanned him from head to toe, and felt his sharingan activate.
Naruto jerked his head to face him, but Sasuke was already walking away.
"Let's go, then."
"O—okay!"
Sasuke took the bags and Naruto took the camera. It was best that way, anyway. Naruto took all sorts of pictures Sasuke would never be fussed with, and as annoying as it was to add a million extra little things to keep organized with them—
Sasuke couldn't really be one to speak.
He was still carrying the letters, after all.
It had been some time since he'd indulged himself in them, and he found himself returning to one that was—softer. The day before Sasuke's birthday. This letter was full of wistful hopes and dreams, and it left a lump in Sasuke's throat. He had to read it one line at a time. He had to read it and stop, to stare at the sky.
"Is there a meteor shower tonight or something?" Naruto asked, standing above him. "That's like the fifth shooting star I've seen."
Sasuke hadn't noticed a one.
"Could be," he said, and Naruto sat beside him. He'd brought them water and an apple, and he smoothly cut Sasuke a slice. "Thank you."
Naruto nodded. He was still wearing Sasuke's shirt. There was no reason to change, but—Sasuke just…noticed.
"What the hell, two more!" Naruto said, pointing up at the sky. Almost spitting out the apple. Sasuke clapped a hand to his shoulder and pushed him back down.
"Yelling at them won't make them last any longer," he pointed out, and Naruto shoved his shoulder into him. "Are there no stars in Konoha?"
"Shut up," Naruto said. "There are. Some things are just—you don't get tired of them. Like sunsets or—whatever."
Sasuke bit down on his laugh.
"Sunsets or whatever," he deadpanned, and Naruto's shoulder was warm against his. "You sure do seem like someone who appreciates the beauty of the world."
"Shut up," Naruto said again, and it sounded like a laugh, too. "You read my letters."
Sasuke had. Sasuke certainly had. Naruto's gaze up at the sky—the moon, the clouds, the stars, the sun—and his wonder if Sasuke's gaze was the same had been…a bit of a theme.
"I suppose I should look at your sky, then," he said, and he finally looked up.
"S'not my sky," Naruto laughed.
Wasn't it, though?
Wasn't it?
Another star flew overhead.
"I've gotta be the only other ninja my age that still believes in this stuff," Naruto said, grinning. "But what the hell? They worked."
"What worked? Wishing on stars?"
Naruto hummed. Sasuke found the night a little more difficult to breathe in.
"I mean," Naruto said, and he looked at him.
He didn't say anything else.
His eyes said enough.
Sasuke swallowed and looked away. He could see Naruto's smile from here.
"You're an idiot," he muttered quietly, and Naruto smiled brighter.
"Yep," he said. "But it worked."
Sasuke let himself breathe. It was difficult. It was particularly difficult. More and more—in moments like these—Sasuke found his mind…blurring. Growing foggy. Growing dim. There were lines between them somewhere. Sasuke knew they were there. But they'd grown so—thin. So broken. Naruto's shoulder pressed to his and the love was here, it was all over them, Sasuke was physically breathing it in like he breathed in the steam of the hot springs and he thought, right now, that it would be so easy to turn his head. Lean in. Press their lips together and damn the consequences, press them back and down like he'd press Naruto, Sasuke felt something wild and whipping in the base of his stomach, lashing in his chest, it made him sit up straight—
But the night was quiet and the stars were bright. The smile was still on Naruto's face.
Sasuke didn't want to wipe it from him. The sight would hurt too much.
"You're cold," Sasuke whispered, and Naruto blinked.
"Oh," he said, running a bandaged thumb over his arm. "Yeah, a little, I guess. Your shirts are all breezy and stuff. Mine are way thicker."
Sasuke leaned back and grabbed a cloak.
"Affinity to flame," Sasuke said in explanation, and Naruto rolled his eyes. "I need warmer shirts for you, is that what you're saying?"
"I've got clothes, I've got clothes," Naruto muttered, and Sasuke watched him shift. His smile was relentless tonight. The whip in Sasuke cracked. "But I—uh."
Naruto ran his teeth over his lower lip.
"Can I, uh." Naruto shifted and let out a sigh. "Can I borrow your clothes more often?
Sasuke's eyebrows raised. Naruto huffed out a breath.
"It's just—I think it's helping. Um. Like it's a smaller way to—I got the same kind of…freak out. And now I'm calmer. Even though it—I'm—y'know." Naruto breathed out his frustration. "Can I borrow them?"
Sasuke nodded, not trusting his voice to speak. Some part of Naruto fell in relief, and his breath came out as a smile. Two stars flew over his head.
"Ah!" Naruto said, his head jerking up. "Crap, I keep missing them."
"How many wishes do you need?" Sasuke asked, and Naruto laughed.
"I just make the same one over and over, I dunno," he said, hugging his knees to his chest. "The more times I make it, the stronger it gets, right?"
Sasuke snorted, bemused.
"Is that how it works?"
"I think so," Naruto said, and he wasn't looking at the sky again. He was missing the stars.
Sasuke was missing them, too.
The whip in Sasuke's chest returned three times, the next morning. The first was when he woke in the last place he remembered being—still under the trees, under the stars, with Naruto curled and clutching him. The next was the look Naruto gave him when Sasuke attempted a simple breakfast of cooked fruit and cinnamon. He woke to the smell, and then to Sasuke, holding it out to him. Sasuke almost spilled the plate all over him with how fast he stood.
The third was when he dug out a change of clothes, only to pause at Naruto's quietly persistent gaze. He was nervous. Sasuke tossed him the shirt he was planning on wearing himself.
Naruto did the same pause when the collar of the shirt covered the bottom half of his face.
Sasuke didn't kiss him. He didn't. But he did move to find the pulse in Naruto's wrist.
It was fast. He was right.
"Yeah, so, I—" Naruto let out a breath, low and slow. He was controlling his breathing again. "I think it—"
He couldn't finish the sentence. He just looked at Sasuke with insistent, panicked eyes, as if hoping he understood.
And Sasuke did. He understood too much. It was the affection in the touches that had Naruto flinching and there was more affection in this motion than Naruto even knew.
Sasuke's crest was on his collar, today.
Sasuke reached out to lay it flat.
"Let me know," he said quietly, and then he turned. Naruto followed him. It took a few moments, but Sasuke listened for the motion. They found the trail again—the one they'd diverted from to find a place to camp for the night—and Naruto's steps started to slow. Sasuke let it slide for the first…half hour.
"Sorry," Naruto said, as Sasuke pinned him with an annoyed gaze. "Sorry, no, I just—I think I recognize—around here. I'd take this path to get to Suna. Right? That way?"
"Yes," Sasuke said, and Naruto's brow furrowed deeper.
He'd completely stopped, now.
…
"Do you want to go?"
"No," Naruto said quickly. "I mean—I do, but I—"
Naruto trailed off. Sasuke knew the look of guilt without even needing to look at him properly. The easiest answer…
"You wrote to him," Sasuke pointed out, but he watched Naruto's reaction carefully. "But you're yet to send the letter."
"No," Naruto said. "Um. I mean, yeah—I didn't. Listen—"
Sasuke turned on his heel.
"No, Sasuke, wait—"
"Deliver it in person."
"I should at least—let me at least—"
"You have plenty of time to think on the walk. We're still two days away," Sasuke said. "I'm not allowed to let my guilt ruin my life. Or am I, now?"
"No the fuck you're not," Naruto muttered, but he was smiling again. He was trying not to. He was still glaring at Sasuke a little.
"You don't understand," he said, as if it wasn't Sasuke he was speaking to. "He's—he's a Kage. He's a jinchuriki. You know?"
He stared at Sasuke, and his eyes were desperate.
"Then he ought to understand," Sasuke pointed out. Naruto shook his head.
"But he's still there. And I—"
"You left. I left. If he'd left, would you blame him?" Sasuke asked, and he didn't wait for an answer. "Does he understand or doesn't he?"
"He—he does. He knows, I know he does, but—"
"Have some faith in your friends," Sasuke told him. "And if he blames you, I'll kill him."
"Sas—"
"Try to stop me."
"Sasuke—"
"Hurry up."
A/N: We're off to Suna next time! you can probably tell why the ideas just kept coming, but I hope you'll like where they went. I'm excited to be able to join in on sns month coming up, too!
Until next time,
- Kinomi