October 2023

Four Months Before Augmentation

Erika lay on her bed as she placed a hand on her heart.

The horror of watching her family die.

The Shame of the Kachidoki Incident.

The guilt of getting Takina fired.

The self-loathing of a killer.

All are still there.

Erika sighed as she checked the time.

It was four in the morning.

She closed her eyes, the pain in her heart still throbbing, making it hard to sleep.

After the party, Ruriko and Doctor Midorikawa seemed to get along fine as if their argument just didn't happen. Erika's life was a pattern of going to school, going on missions, visiting the Midorikawas, visiting LycoReco, going on missions, and sleeping. So, when Chisato had texted her for some help (she had gotten her number at the party), she jumped on that opportunity to get out of that monotonous pattern (and possibly see Takina).

"Kitten!" Erika called out to the class.

"Kitten!" Chisato repeated back, making cat ears with her hands.

The classroom then repeated Chisato, gestures, and all.

"Dog!" Erika called out to the class.

"Dog!" Chisato repeated back, adding in a couple of dog 'woofs'.

The classroom then repeated Chisato, woofs and all.

"Fish!" Erika called out to the class.

"A Fiiish!" Chisato repeated back, stretching her body out, balancing on one leg, trying to look like a fish.

The class then repeated Chisato, pose, and all.

"Miss Chisato!" one of the students of the language class called out, raising their hand. "Can you do the handstand again?"

"Wait what?" Erika responded confused with Chisato's face becoming bright red. Fortunately, the end-of-day bell rang out, and the class soon rushed out of their classroom. "Uh…Chisato?"

"It's a long story. I'll explain it never," she laughed as she grabbed her bag, a normal backpack compared to Erika's DA's standard issue pack. "That little…. mess aside…. Thanks again for subbing for Takina! I didn't have many options to look to, so I thought why not my Mini Me!"

Erika laughed at the name. Thankfully, there were only jovial tones of teasing than the malicious ones she was used to, "Yeah, it's no worries. It's nice to help beyond just shooting or kicking. Maybe, I'll join a volunteer group full-time once I retire."

"Well, we always need more help at LycoReco! Don't tell Kurumi this but she doesn't pull her weight. Service isn't her forte. She's a computer gal at heart…and for fun! For fun!" Chisato quickly corrected making Erika confused a bit. "She's a computer gal for fun!"

Erika took a breath as she prepared another question, "How's-how's-how's she doing?"

"Kurumi? Pretty good for someone her age. I still can't believe she's-"

"No, I mean Takina."

"Oh, that makes more sense. A hot mess. It's been three days now and she's still vomiting," Chisato sighed as the two volunteers walked through the hallways, crowds of people brushing past them. "I've never Takina that sick before which is weird cause I thought Lycoris were supposed to pretty good against the flu thanks to Pandemic Training."

Erika shivered as she remembered that training. It involved all of them staying on a mountain for a month while being exposed to various common illnesses to try and build resistance to the diseases. She remembered one Lycoris, Akane Tsukada, taking a very unnatural liking to the process, finding the various diseases fascinating.

Not good memories overall.

"Do you have anything with her...uh…DNA on it? Like a used tissue or gross rag? I can let Doctor Midorikawa see it and see if it's anything weird."

"Nah, I generally don't keep DNA samples of Takina with me. Well…you could probably find some on me. I did have a fun morning…"

"What?"

Chisato blushed and giggled, leaving the girl even more confused, "Nothing. So, how's Ruriko doing? You know with her heart thing. It's moments like this where I wish Mr. Yoshi had…where I wish there were spare hearts around to use."

Erika felt her anger bubble at the mention of that devil, but she was able to take a breath, "She's fine. Her dad's pretty much forcing her to take her meds much to her dismay. Although…"

"Although what?"

"Well…. they've been kind of awkward to me for the last couple of days," Erika admitted. "They still talk to me it's just really awkward."

Erika sat at the desk of Doctor Midorikawa while the good doctor and Ruriko were sitting there awkwardly as well. The three (well only the doctor and Erika, Ruriko just looked cranky) of them were nibbling on Gills Taiyaki that Erika had bought although all of them showed no enjoyment in eating.

"So…uh…. how are things going?"

"Good," Doctor Midorikawa responded although he avoided direct eye contact.

"Cool! I…I visited my family again. It was nice. Uh…. Kyoko says hi by the way."

"That's nice and tell her I said hello back."

"Cool…uh…. how are you doing, Ruriko?"

"Hm."

"Cool."

The rest of the visit was quiet.

"It's been like that for the last two weeks."

"Awkward," Chisato responded as Erika dropped her off at Café LycoReco, the girl handing Erika back a spare helmet Erika had lent her. Erika looked around to make sure no one was looking and tapped a button on the side of the helmet. The helmet collapsed into a small metal bar, and placed it in her pocket, "If they're gonna be like that then why even let you hang out?"

Erika slumped in her bike as she took off her helmet, "I don't know. I keep asking if they're doing all right and they keep saying yes."

"Hm…did you do or say anything wrong lately?"

Erika scoured the recesses of her brain to try and find something.

"That…that isn't bad. That's a person. And that's nice," Erika remembered those nights ago. Did she say something wrong?

"Nothing, I can think of," Erika lied. If Chisato raised a slight eyebrow but didn't push. "Anyways, I better be heading back to headquarters."

"Are you sure you don't want to hang at LycoReco a bit? I secretly made a Crap Parfait to help Takina cheer up, but we still have some frosting that you can chug on."

Erika laughed a bit as she revved her bike up, "Thank you for the offer, but I've got a lunch thing with another Lycoris."

"Have fun," Chisato laughed as she waved goodbye, a bright smile on her face. Erika then stopped her bike as she pondered that bright smile that never seemed to leave. She could count on one time the number of times Chisato Nishikigi seemed sad.

And she could count with both times the number of times she was sad.

"Hey, Chisato?"

"Yup?"

Erika hesitated a bit as she took the keys out of the ignition of the motorcycle. She kicked down the brakes as she leaned on her bike, "Are you happy?"

Chisato stopped before she could exit into LycoReco. She turned to Erika, her face both concerned and confused, "A bit of a weird question there. Is this about Ruriko?"

"No…..okay kind of," Erika sighed as she took off her helmet, recollapsing it into a compact metal bar. "It's just…..well…..answer the question, please."

"Well, despite everything I am," Chisato laughed recovering from her smile. "Sure, things are pretty bad right now, but I still have my friends. No matter how much I go through, I still have them."

"How are you so peppy? Between being subjected to the hell that was DA, and finding out Shinji was an asshole who saved your life just so you can murder people," Erika continued her voice starting to ramble a bit. She became slightly more aware of the gnawing on her heart. "How can you be? How are you dealing with all of this?"

"Are you okay?"

Erika looked in the mirror and realized she was shaking. She took a breath as she shook her head, "Yeah! Sorry. It's just I'm tired that's all."

"Well, if you need anything you got my number. Plus, you've got a lunch date with a Lycoris right?"

Erika felt her face go red, Chisato getting a mischievous grin as she poked Erika in the head, "I don't like her. I like Ta…..I like taiyakis."

"Uh…. cool."

"I need to go."

"Okay! Just tell whoever the Lycoris is I said hi."

Sakura Otome raised her eye a bit as she nibbled on a French fry, "So…love advice."

Erika and Sakura sat across from each other in the DA cafeteria. Sakura was pretty busy all the time, cranking mission after mission as well as constantly training so she could get that coveted red Lycoris uniform. After some begging and a promise to buy food, Erika was able to get some time with her, "Y-y-yeah."

"I was busy in the middle of training and pulled myself away….to give you love advice."

"Yes."

"Seriously, Chisato Junior?" Sakura responded, although her tone was more of one of interest than that of teasing.

"The Kicktastic Janome!"

"Say what?"

"That's my new nickname: The Kicktastic Janome! Cause I'm good at kicking and…uh….my last name is….uh."

"You're a real cutie but…. I'm just gonna forget that happened, Chisato Junior."

"Ok."

"So…. why me of all people?" Sakura responded as she gobbled on another fry, the basket Erika had ordered made for two people. Erika went to go grab a fry as she nibbled on it, "I just had a mission. I need this."

"Sorry. Uh…well…. I've heard you've been in a lot of relationships. From what I counted and heard; you've been in twelve of them?"

"Thirteen. Broke up with a LilyBell a couple of weeks ago."

"Wait, you dated a LilyBell?" Erika nearly yelled with Sakura simply chewing on a fry nonchalantly as if nothing happened.

"Yeah. Johnny Sazaki. Nice guy but he farts a lot. Cute though. Not as cute as you are though."

Erika's face blushed at the compliment although the embarrassment was tempered by confusion at her previous relationship, "They tried to kill us last year! Also, as soon as the Majima Incident clean-up began, they were pulled out making us deal with the illegal weapons on our own!"

"To be fair, we also tried to kill them too and them being pulled out of the Majima Incident was Kusunoki's fault. She wanted to protect the integrity of the Lycoris Branch of Yatagarasu, so she cut off all operational ties with the LilyBell Branch. HollyHock too I think but….no one cares about HollyHock. The point is: all is forgiven."

Erika sighed at her comment. Sakura was her friend, so she trusted her, "Fine…I'll take your word for it. Still, though, a Lycoris dating a LilyBell? That's weird."

"It's not like Lycoris dating a LilyBell is unheard of. Chisato dated one a couple of years ago. Although I heard it was so he would stop trying to kill her or something like that. Or maybe because he was cute. Details are kind of blurry on that whole situation."

"Wait, Chisato's straight?"

"Oh, no she swings both ways. She dated some HollyHock girl a couple of years back too. But I'm pretty sure the HollyHock broke up with her. You know how they are, too busy developing their political skills than social ones," Sakura giggled a bit as she bit into another fry. However, Erika felt her world shake a bit. "Plus…. I mean look at her and Takina. A total ship."

Her face blanched slightly, "W…what do mean by 'a ship'?"

"Look, Erika, I want to help but you've gotta be direct. Plus, I've got a mock battle in like fifteen minutes. What love advice do you need?" Sakura responded as she continued to nibble on fries.

"How do…how do you confess to someone?"

"Just say, 'I like you' and be yourself," Sakura responded simply as she finished off the last of the fries. "It ain't that deep."

"S…seriously?"

"Love's not that complicated. If a person loves you for who you are and you love them for who they are," Sakura said nonchalantly. "And then you say you like them, then you date."

Erika twitched a bit in her seat as she said this, "Well…. what if I don't know if this person loves me for who I am?"

"Well, that's the catch about romance. You don't know if the other likes you until you confess," Sakura responded as Erika wilted a bit in her chair. "That's the curse of Love."

"Curse huh…."

"Anyway, the other thing you need to do is not wait. Waiting is time for another person to confess their feelings. Love is a game of knowing when to act so someone else won't get the prize."

"Wait what? I was gonna wait like a couple more months! You know, build up some confidence!"

"The hell are you asking for advice now if you were gonna wait till then?"

"Preparation!"

"Well, I advise that you do it as soon as you can," Sakura said with a tone of finality, getting up from her chair. "You never know if whoever you like is already taken. Plus, we're Lycoris. You never know when a mission goes wrong and then…. poof. But try not to die anytime soon though. Not gonna lie, you're very adorable, and seeing you go would suck."

Sakura gently patted Erika's shoulder as she walked off.

"What should I do?" Erika muttered as she slumped in her chair, sitting all alone in the DA cafeteria. She was sitting there with just her thoughts.

Erika placed a hand on her heart.

It was there.

Lingering and neverending.

That small pain in her heart.

The horror of watching her family being murdered.

Plus, the shame of what happened in the Kachidoki Incident.

Plus, the guilt of what she did to Takina.

All of that equaled and made up for her small pain.

She sighed.

Guess there was one last option she could ask about the matters of romance.

Erika knocked at Hibana's door, "Hello, can we talk, Hibana?"

The blonde sighed as she gestured Erika in, "Make it quick, Chisato Junior. You've got three minutes. After that, I'm kicking your ass out of here."

Erika cringed at the pile of snacks and dirty laundry on the ground with Hibana tossing a half-bitten taiyaki onto a currently moldy-looking pile. Hibana sat at her desk as she pulled a chair up for Erika, "Two minutes, forty-nine seconds. Make it quick."

Erika ignored how she was timing that, "So…uh….I need love advice. You know about romance and stuff. And…well….."

Hibana's glare softened a bit, "And since I was in a pretty long relationship, you wanted advice from me?"

"Yeah. I asked Sakura but I'm still kinda squirrely. I thought well…..since you and Sayako….well….I….I just don't want to intrude."

The blonde let loose a laugh, although it was one of playful teasing rather than malicious intent, "So, thinking about doing a good ole love confession huh? Just do it."

"That's what Sakura said too."

"Yeah, and she's right," Hibana smiled as she picked up a picture frame. Erika smiled as well as she saw a picture of Hibana and another Lycoris, her bright smile and brighter red hair glowing like the sun. "I was nervous when trying to confess to Sayako. But I did it and I'm glad I did. It wasn't long but….I loved every moment with her."

Erika squirmed a bit in her chair, "So….I should do it?"

"Erika…..is this really about wanting love or something else?" Hibana questioned as she placed the frame down. "Because wanting love for any reason other than love generally leads to bad things."

"Of course, it's love! I…. yeah," Erika sighed as she placed a hand on her heart. "Any….any suggestions for confessing?"

"In person. Flowers. Box-shaped chocolates. Heart-shaped balloon. It's a total guaranteed yes," Hibana laughed as Erika took out her phone and took notes. "Just make your crush isn't allergic to anything that's inside the chocolates."

Erika giggled, "That's oddly specific."

Hibana looked like she was about to keel over, "I accidentally bought chocolates with walnuts in them. After I said yes and we kissed, Sayako was about to take a bite from one of them but then she screamed like a girl and threw them at the wall. Turns out she was allergic. Funny."

The two girls laughed.

"Man, I still have no idea why she stuck with me even after that blunder."

"It's cause you're great," Erika assured her former roommate, "Sayako loved you for everything that you are."

"Thanks," she sighed as she leaned back in her chair, her joyful expression now becoming despondent. "I wish we could have more stupid blunders together."

Erika held back some tears.

She was there when Sayako took a bullet for Hibana.

She was there when Hibana held Sayako as she died.

She was there when Hibana took her vengeance against the terrorist who shot her.

Her terrible, bloody vengeance.

Erika saw as she saw some tears form in Hibana's eyes. She quickly looked around and grabbed a towel that was hanging from a rack on the wall, but Hibana quickly waved her away. Erika saw as she placed a hand on her chest and took a breath.

"You okay?" Erika asked gently, worried that her friend might be having a panic attack. She kept her distance as Hibana took one final breath. The blonde stood up as she walked towards Erika.

"No….but this will make me better."

Hibana's hand cracked against Erika's cheek.

"OW!" Erika snapped as Hibana began to laugh. "What the hell?"

"Now I feel better. Now get out," she responded as she grabbed Erika's shoulder and pushed her out the door. "Jeesh, I'm getting soft if I had a sentimental moment with you."

"I….I was just trying to be your friend," Erika croaked as she held her reddened cheek. "I….I just wanted to be that."

"Erika….I don't need anyone," she snorted. "And one last thing: do you think Takina Inoue would say yes to spaz like you?"

"How did you…."

"We were roommates remember?" Hibana rolled her eyes. "How could I not notice? The point is, there are so many factors stacked against you. She's gonna say no. But hey go for it. Your crying would be entertaining."

"What happened to us, Hibana?" Erika felt some tears stream down her face. "We….we were so close. You were such a great friend."

"We were never friends."

"How could you say that? After everything we've been through?" Erika continued as more tears began to stream down her face. "All those nights just staying up watching movies. All those nights playing video games. All those times we talked of our dreams. Even after Sayako died, I gave you space to grieve but…..but then you just turned on me completely."

"Because Erika, ever since I lost my family and I got stuck in this hellhole of a job, there was never a single time where I was happy talking with people," Hibana snapped, her voice filled with self-pity. She stepped back into her room as she began to shut the door, her face hiding behind its shadow. "Never. Friends? What a joke."

Erika wiped her eyes, "Hibana…."

"God, you're so miserable. My advice? Go back to Kachidoki Bridge and make sure Mizuki isn't around when you jump this time. Because no matter what you do in life, you're always going to be so unhappy."

"I'm….I'm happy," Erika weakly countered, her words as weak as her heart. Hibana let loose a sadistic laugh as she slammed the door.

"Sure, you are."

The next day, Erika quietly knocked on Room 1971 as she waited outside for an answer. Finally, the door opened up and Erika felt herself shiver at a scowling Ruriko, her shirt slightly soaked and covered in coffee. "Uh…..hi?"

"I…I need to walk," Ruriko scowled, her eyes full of frustration, as she gently pushed by Erika. While she usually liked talking to Ruriko, she was glad she could talk to Doctor Midorikawa alone. "I'll see you later, Miss Janome."

"Are you okay?"

"Leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you," Ruriko snapped. "Hell, I don't even care about you! I don't care about anyone!"

She grumbled as she stomped off.

"See you later," she muttered as she entered the room only to find Doctor Midorikawa crumpling up some soaked pieces of paper, his face scowling as he tore them to shreds and shoved them in the trash can. Erika looked at the smashed cup of coffee on the floor and had some idea of what happened.

"Erika….this isn't a good time," he responded as he rubbed his eyes. "Can we please talk later? I need some rest and…."

He finally looked at Erika and the girl felt herself confused at the emotion in his eyes. She knew that look because she always saw it in the mirror after coming back from a mission where she had to kill someone.

Guilt.

"Are you okay?"

"It's just….me and Ruriko aren't on good terms right now," the man said as he took a seat. "I need some rest so I'm sorry- "

Erika felt guilty for not leaving but she needed advice. Her teenage impulses took over as she blurted out, "I really like Takina and I want to confess to her! I need advice! Please! Sorry."

The man looked at her and laughed a bit as if Erika had said the funniest joke in the world. After the laugh, his face went a bit serious, "Erika, is that the course of action you wish to take? Because there are factors you need to consider. A…uh….a lot of factors."

"That's the thing. It's kind of complicated," Erika took a breath as she placed a hand on her heart. "I want to date Takina because…..because I like her."

"Are….are there any other factors in this?" Doctor Midorikawa asked. "While I don't want to push, I feel like there's another reason for this."

"No…okay yeah. I think romance can help the pain in my heart."

"Oh! If heart pain's the case, I have some medicine that can help you with that," Doctor Midorikawa laughed as he reached into his cabinets. He placed some bottles in the girl's hands with a satisfied smile on his face. "For a second, I thought it was-"

"No not like that," the girl quietly responded as she placed the bottles back. She looked around as she made sure it was only her and the doctor in the room. Sure, it was a small room, and it was pretty obvious it was just them in there, but Erika wasn't taking any chances. "Can….can you not tell anyone what I'm about to tell you?"

"Of course. You're my friend."

"The horror of watching my family getting shot in front of me. The shame of what happened during the Kachidoki Incident. And then my stupidity got Takina fired. I still feel the pain of all of that. And to be honest, living with it sucks. Even when I talk to friends or eat yummy food or help someone out, I still feel it there," Erika sighed.

"You always look so happy. I never knew. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I just got a good poker face, I guess. Plus, with everything that's been going on, I'm too busy looking exhausted. I mean I've stopped like seventeen robberies, fifteen weapons deals, and three home invasions in the last four days."

"Still…I wish I knew. So…..what is it that you want?" Doctor Midorikawa asked, his face full of concern and an unfathomable amount of sorrow. "What do you need?"

"I just want to find a way to deal with the pain in my heart. Chisato has Takina. Takina has Chisato. Kyoko has Sakura. Religious people have God. Even addicts have drugs. What do I have to deal with my pain? Because as things are now…I'm alone. I've got nothing to help me. I have to deal with the pain of my family, the pain of what happened during the Kachidoki Incident, the pain of screwing up Takina's life, and the pain of being a killer."

Erika felt herself choke up a bit, "There are times when the pain is manageable. It's just a tiny spark inside my heart. It burns but it's bearable. But then there are times when it's burning like a sun. When I kill or I see someone die, the pain just begins to become excruciating."

The Lycoris took another breath.

One.

Two.

Three.

Just breath.

"The worst one so far? After….after that mission back in September, the one where Chisato saved us?" Erika murmured. "After I got back to headquarters….when I just laid down and wanted to sleep…my heart just started burning. I felt so guilty and ashamed. I killed so many people in that weapons deal. I couldn't save the man Hibana killed. And I had to get my butt saved again. I….I just felt so lesser."

"Erika, me and Ruriko read up on that mission," he said gently as he placed a calming hand on Erika's shoulder. "I know this won't make you feel better but everyone there were terrible people. I know good and evil are subjective but…Erika…. these people were not good. I read their files and they were just terrible people. They all had choices in their lives that could've changed their path but they chose the path of darkness. DA is many things, but they are thorough. Every mission you're put in? All your targets are the worst of humanity. There are times when they look like people. But rest assured: they aren't."

That didn't make Erika feel better at all.

"Small pain. Big pain. But either way….it hurts so much, Doctor Midorikawa. It still hurts. It happens all the time. It's like a splinter in my soul. I….I just want something that can help me cope with the pain. I need something. I…I need someone. I just need something that can help me. Something that can just make the pain disappear…"

"Erika, you aren't alone. You have people to turn-"

"Yes, I am!" she snapped as tears began to stream down her face, pushing Doctor Midorikawa away. Erika's self-pity and frustration finally came to a head. "I'm surrounded by people, and I still feel like shit! And oh the people…. don't get me started on the Lycoris! Do you know what it's like to be a Lycoris and have this pained heart all the time?"

Erika let loose a burst of joyless laughter as she tightened her fist, her fingernails digging deep into her palm, "It sucks! I kill because it's my job. But then I feel like shit for taking a life and I have to deal with the heart pain! That's double the pain."

"Erika, your hand-"

She gritted her teeth, her frustrations now just pouring out, "I get made fun of by the Lycoris for caring about other people's lives! I feel like shit and I have to deal with the heart pain! That's triple the pain! God, have I ever told you how much that Chisato Junior name annoys the shit out of me? So, what if we both try to value the lives of the people we fight? I'm sorry for being fucking human being and feeling some emotions when I see a person die in front of me! I'm sorry for having empathy!"

"Erika…."

"Hibana doesn't talk to me anymore! All she does is make fun of me now and ignore me! I was her best friend, and she just threw me away!" Erika screamed as she let all her frustration loose. "I was her best friend, and she threw me away like I was nothing! I was just nothing!"

"Erika, I need you to-"

"I talk to Ruriko for over three years and all she says is how much she doesn't give a single shit about me!" Erika let loose a humorless laugh. "Do you know there are times when I'm not even sure we're friends? There are times when I'm pretty sure I'm just there to fill her daily socialization quota!"

"Erika, of course, Ruriko cares. She's just…..she's just been through a lot."

"So, have I. And I try my best to be a decent person."

"And you should be proud of that."

"Why should I be proud of myself? I'm pathetic!" Erika felt her breath quicken and she continued to yell as she felt more tears stream down her face, "All this pain all the time and I don't have anyone or anything to turn to! I am alone! I have always been and will always be alone!"

"Erika…"

"I'm never going to be happy. I'm never going to accomplish anything," Erika continued to vent as she began to hyperventilate. "God, I really should've killed myself back then."

"Erika, do not say that!"

She began to laugh as she began to pace around the room, "You know? Maybe I should start dropping my stupid goody-two-shoes morality. Maybe I should start being what I hate. Maybe I should be a devil. Maybe I'd get happiness from that! Maybe being a lonely devil would make me happy! Why care when no one cares about me! Maybe being evil will make me happy!"

"Erika, your hand!"

"What?" she yelled but she winced as she looked at her fist. There was blood coming out as her fingernails were dug deep into her palms. "Shit."

"Just sit down," the doctor said firmly as he pointed to one of his chairs. He opened up his cabinet and he grabbed out some gauze. "Give me your hand. And take a breath."

The girl took a breath as she tried to calm her breathing.

One.

Two.

Three.

She held her breath.

One.

Two.

Three.

The girl whimpered as she realized what she had just said.

How pathetic….

God how pathetic she was.

"Thanks, Doctor Midorikawa," Erika sighed as she took a breath and got herself under control. She reached out her hand as the man quietly wrapped his friend's hand. The Lycoris felt shame as she realized how ungrateful for her life she sounded. "I'm sorry for my temper tantrum. I've got a good life. I've got…I've got people. And here I am crying about some minor heart pain. God, I'm stupid."

"Erika, you aren't stupid," Doctor Midorikawa responded gently as he finished wrapping her hand. "You just want a way to deal with the pain that's always there. It's natural. I just wish you told someone sooner. You sound like you've been holding in a lot."

"Kinda."

"I wish I knew sooner so I could help you. While I'd love to try and help you further," the man avoided Erika's gaze for a second, "Certain factors have made….have made it difficult to have extended conversations. Have you tried talking to the DA psychologist?"

"She's mean to everyone," she sighed. "She called me Chisato Junior and then called me a pussy. Since Miss Nakahara left all those years ago, the DA psychologists aren't exactly the best."

"I wish I could help you …. but this is something that you can only find out yourself," he sadly responded. "What helps us with pain is dependent on the person. But you'll find that happiness that will help you deal with the pain. You'll find that salvation. You're stronger than you think. You'll find it."

"Thanks, Doctor Midorikawa," Erika responded as she got up. "I…. I need to go lie down. Thanks for listening and I'm sorry you had to listen."

"No worries. Just keep your chin up, okay?" Doctor Midorikawa responded as he patted Erika's head. "I know….I know that you can feel alone. But no one is ever truly alone. No matter what. But…but I can offer one piece of advice."

"What is it?" she responded.

"A lot of people fall into the pit of wondering what helps them deal with pain. But sometimes the answer is really, really, really, really, really obvious. So, keep your eyes open. Because if you don't…..you'll find yourself with something that you think helps you deal with the pain but truly makes you more miserable."

"Like drugs or something? I'm not gonna do that."

"There are worse things than just that," Doctor Midorikawa sighed as he rubbed his temple. "Just….just please keep your eyes open."

"I appreciate the advice, Doctor Midorikawa," Erika quietly responded as she opened the door, but she scowled as her stomach began to rumble. "Damn. Already?"

"Have you eaten today?"

"I did with Sakura earlier but like I said: I've been on a lot of missions lately. Guess I'll pick up some grub at the cafeteria before I nap."

"Wait, I've got food," Doctor Midorikawa responded as he opened up another cabinet. He quickly tossed out some first-aid boxes and what looked like various electrical tools with Erika's Lycoris skills dodging to avoid them. "AHA! Here it is!"

"Why do you have a bag of McRonald's burgers in your cabinet?" Erika questioned as Doctor Midorikawa placed a large paper bag of wrapped burgers on his desk. He hummed happily as he unwrapped one and handed it to Erika. The girl felt her stomach become queasy as she stared at the burger, the patty being a strange green color. "Uh….is this safe?"

"Yes of course! It's McRonald's CEO Kazuhira Miller's masterpiece: the Chemical Burger!" he said excitedly as he chomped on one of the burgers. "He started to re-release them, so I stocked up!"

"Don't these need to be refrigerated or something?"

"It's loaded with chemical additives, so it doesn't need much refrigeration!" Doctor Midorikawa responded excitedly. "Come on! Eat Erika! Let your taste buds taste Nirvana!"

"Mom, dad, and big brother…. you might see me soon," Erika muttered as she took a small bite. And then that small bite became a large one as she swallowed it whole. "Holy wow. He really knows how to make a burger."

"Yup," he responded as he got out another burger and then ate it. Erika pulled up a chair at Doctor Midorikawa's desk to eat some more. "Really glad you didn't keep me waiting in anticipation."

"Still never explained why you just keep a bag of Chemical Burgers in your cabinet," Erika responded as she took another bite.

"Well, they are quite tasty. But it's also a limited-time item, so I wanted to stock up. I haven't had one since the days of my youth," Doctor Midorikawa took another bite. "Ah! I have missed this. So much nostalgia."

"Huh. Burger nostalgia. Nice."

"Plus…..I've been trying to find the recipe."

"You're kidding me."

"While I know how to make a burger patty," Doctor Midorikawa responded as he took another bite, "I never quite found out what the precise amounts of chemical additives were. I caused quite a mess in the college labs trying to find out the amounts."

Erika laughed, "You're kidding."

Doctor Midorikawa began to regale Erika with tales of his attempted replication of the Chemical Burger, the two eating burgers and laughing at the doctor's own recklessness.

But Erika was unaware….

During this time, she was eating burgers with her friend.

The pain in her heart was gone.

But she was too busy enjoying her friendship with Doctor Midorikawa to truly notice, the happiness of companionship completely distracting her.

An answer so simple she cannot see it...