Erika laid on her bed as she placed a hand on her heart.
The horror of watching her family die.
The shame of the Kachidoki Incident.
The guilt of getting Takina fired.
The self-loathing of a killer.
All are still there.
She took a breath.
"I'm not alone."
"I'm not alone."
"I'm not alone."
"I'm not alone."
"I'm not alone."
She sobbed as she buried her face into her pillow, trying to pull herself out of the tempting depths of self-pity.
"Hey uh….could I get my food?" Erika called out as she tried to get Chisato and Mika's attention. A week had passed since her conversation with Sakura, and she still couldn't figure out what to do. Finally getting five minutes without a mission, the girl decided to make a stop at LycoReco for both possible advice and a plateful of food (the number of missions she's been going on had been burning her out). However, she became enamored with a TV broadcast Mika was watching.
"DarkBold Complex Overcrowded! Japan's largest prison complex becomes overrun as construction of new Prison systems begins!"
Erika's eyes widened as a camera gave a view of the inside of the prison complex, thousands of cells filled with criminals. Dozens of guards patrolled the cells, slamming their batons against the bars to get them to stop hollering and screaming, "Wow…I knew there was an increased crime rate but this?"
Erika took out her phone as she scrolled through Tokyo News Network's website.
Police stop weapon deal.
Bank robbery.
Police stop weapon deal.
Grocery store robbery.
Couple held up at gunpoint.
Weapon deal.
Robbery.
Weapon deal.
Robbery.
Weapon deal.
Robbery.
Weapon deal.
Robbery.
Weapon deal.
Robbery.
Home invasion.
"Even with DA working overtime…We've really got our work cut out for us."
"The Yatagartsu Council will not be happy about this," Mika commentated, his face filled with concern, "It's Kusunoki's job to deal with domestic affairs like this."
The man rubbed his eyes as he sighed, reminding Erika of Doctor Midorikawa a bit, "Shinji, all of this chaos….and for what?"
Erika shivered at the mention of Shinji Yoshimatsu. After the Majima Incident, Kusunoki demanded a full report from all parties involved, which included Takina and Mika. From there it was revealed that the affable and philanthropical Shinji Yoshimatsu turned out to be a sociopathic and manipulative menace who drove Japan into madness all for the sake of making one girl murder.
In other words, he was a piece of shit.
What was even worse is that Shinji Yoshimatsu was now missing, presumably on the run from his crimes.
Mika turned off the TV and headed towards the back, "Chisato, I've got to take care of some inventory. Make sure to get Erika's order. Hello Erika, I hope you are doing well. Same for Ruriko as well."
"Thanks, I am. Ruriko's doing good too," Erika responded, giving the man a little wave, "She…. uh…. sends her regards. In her own way. The typical….I don't care about you thing."
"I'm sure she doesn't mean it."
"Yeah….sure."
He gave a small laugh for a second but stared back at Chisato, who was unusually quiet. The girl was just sweeping the floor over and over and over, despite it already being sparklingly clean.
The entirety of LycoReco was unnervingly quiet, to be honest, with a weirdly thick tension in the air. Mizuki and Kurumi were out apartment hunting with the ever-amazing Takina still recovering from her flu. There weren't any patrons either leaving just Chisato, Mika, and Erika.
Mika went up to his daughter and gently tapped her shoulder. Her usually upbeat and sparkling eyes were just empty. The mischievous smile she usually wore was replaced by a completely neutral expression. It reminded Erika of Ruriko in that way, "Hey Chisato."
She quickly snapped to reality, and she placed the broom against the table, "Yeah. Sorry, dad. I'll go get your-her order. Go ahead and do the inventory."
Mika nodded as he gave Chisato one last gentle shoulder tap and headed toward the back. Chisato took a notepad out. Erika was unnerved by the girl's exhausted-filled eyes, "What do you want today?"
"Um…uh…. can I have a small parfait?"
"Sure," Chisato despondently responded as she headed towards the back. A couple of seconds later, Chisato came back with one, "Here you go. Hope you enjoy."
"Thanks!" Erika responded as she quickly dug in. As she ate, she took a small look at Chisato, who was sitting down at a table, her hand over her face.
Erika and Chisato were friends.
But was she close enough to try and help emotionally?
She wiggled a bit in her seat trying to determine what to do.
Finally, after finishing her parfait, Erika decided as she turned to Chisato. Erika may not be close to Chisato, but Chisato had always strived her best to help people. So, maybe Erika should try and repay that kindness that Chisato always gave to others.
"Are you doing, okay? You seem out of it."
"Hm."
"Chisato?"
"Erika…"
Erika should've stopped as she sensed a rising frustration out of the girl, but her mouth wouldn't shut up, "Can I help you somehow? Or something?"
"Look can you just get off my ass, you damn fangirl!" Chisato snapped causing Erika to nearly stumble off her seat. She had encountered the worst of the worst. She had fought terrorists not afraid to slaughter crowds of innocent people. She had avoided death from LilyBell agents that were designed to completely overwhelm a Lycoris. She even had a close encounter with the Lycoris Killer, Majima, her eyes meeting his own psychotic ones from a brief millisecond.
But an angry Chisato Nishikigi was the scariest thing she's ever seen.
"I'm sor-"
"The last thing I need is you talking! So just get off my ass!" she yelled as she got into Erika's face, their noses almost touching. Erika began to whimper a bit as she shook in fear; her terrified eyes staring straight into Chisato's furious gaze.
Chisato's eyes widened as she stopped talking, taking notice of Erika's whimpering. The former Lycoris backed up, giving Erika a large amount of space, "I…. I need space. I…I…I need to think."
Chisato grabbed a bright yellow poncho which was hanging off the wall and threw it over her LycoReco outfit. The door slammed shut, leaving nothing but more silence.
"Chisato!" Mika called as he limped out of the backroom. He sighed as he rubbed his eyes reminding Erika of Doctor Midorikawa, "Erika, I'm so sorry. She's been through a lot the last week. That isn't an excuse for her behavior, but I hope you understand."
"It's fine," Erika's voice squeaked out as she got off her chair, "I'll go check on her. This is my fault anyway. I pushed when I shouldn't have."
"Erika…"
"Mister Kurama, this is my responsibility," Erika responded as she headed towards the door, "I'll take care of it."
"Erika!" Mika tried to call out, but Erika already had the door shut.
Was she stupid for trying to help?
Probably.
Should she let Mika handle this?
Probably.
Unfortunately, none of these questions entered Erika's mind as she made her way through the streets of Tokyo as she looked for Chisato Nishikigi.
Erika wasn't exactly socially savvy.
But she knew the anger of loss when she saw it.
Erika gripped her chest as she ran, once again feeling that painful gnawing on that heart.
"How'd you find me?" Chisato responded as she sat in front of two graves. Erika sat next to the girl as she got out an umbrella, protecting them from drizzling rain. Erika looked at Chisato's hands which were covered in bruises. The graves she was sitting in front of had slight cracks.
Her hazel eyes were full of nothing but rage.
"I looked for all the graveyards within the Tokyo area," Erika responded as the rain continued to pour, causing mud to start sliding a bit, "I went to each one."
"Okay," Chisato responded as she despondently looked at two graves before her. Erika wiped the water off the two graves.
Beloved Mother, Positive Friend, and Loving Wife
Saori Sawatari Shinohara
And the other…
Beloved Boyfriend, Dutiful Officer, Ever Hopeful Friend
Abe Kaoru Ichijo
Erika read the dates.
They died last week.
Erika didn't recognize Saori Shinohara, but she had heard of Detective Abe at the party. She didn't know him well, but he seemed like a very jovial man.
"I'm so sorry."
"I'm not an idiot. The world is cruel. The world took my parents. The world forced me into an assassin organization. The world gave me weird eyes that isolated me from everyone else. The world gave me a crappy heart. The world gave me a savior who wanted me to be a killer. I'm not naïve. I hadn't had the luxury of that since I became a Lycoris," Chisato said, her voice monotone, "But despite all of that I tried think the best of the world."
"I lost my parents, but I had Mika. DA was terrible but I found Takina. The world gave me a crappy heart, but I still managed to use that heart to save people. Mister Yoshi was…. Mister Yoshi but he still was the reason I was alive and gave me a third chance at life. I love the way a big city is quiet right before it sets in motion. I love the café I made with teach. I love the smell of coffee. I love the patrons. I love the people of this city. I love the tasty treats and pretty places. I love my friends. I love my no-nonsense Takina."
"But after what I saw…." Chisato stopped and Erika saw how much burning hatred there was in those hazel eyes of hers.
"Dad and I were coming back from dinner when I got a call from Miss Saori's boyfriend, Godai. He was…so empty. I'm not even sure if even meant to call me. He just sounded so out of it. But I got the general gist. I raced to Hojo General and…"
Chisato shivered, her voice cracking, "Detective Abe and Miss Saori were friends since high school. They still hung out from time to time, you know? Just food hangouts and stuff like that. But there was a…a home intruder. Apparently, Detective Abe had recently broken up an underground Yakuza weapons trading ring. And they didn't take it well."
"Oh god."
"The intruder was in there with them for three hours. Three hours of just…agony. When…when the intruder left…. they…." Chisato's voice cracked as Erika saw the girl's eyes tear up, "Mister Godai finally came back home and found them…. Hojo General could only try and make the pain easy to bear. By the time I got there, I…. I couldn't even say goodbye."
"Erika, that man…that sadistic torture-loving man was with them for three hours," Chisato said as she stared Erika straight in the eyes. Her voice was monotone, but her eyes said otherwise.
"What…what happened to that yakuza man?"
"I did. I hunted him down the next night."
"Did you-?"
Chisato scowled as her eyes filled with rage, "Stupid Takina happened! She stopped me before I could do anything…permanent. She noticed something was off and followed me. He'll live but he'll be eating for a tube for a couple of months. He's probably on enough anesthetics to fill up a pharmacy. Only Takina knows what I did."
"Are you…. are you going to go after him?"
Erika shivered as Chisato let loose a spine-chilling laugh, "No…. even after everything…. No. Even after what he did, I can't bring myself to do it. Guess Mister Yoshi was right. I am too soft."
The girl slammed her fist into the ground, "They…. They were like my family. All the patrons are. Miss Saori had a baby. Detective Abe was about to get a promotion. And the world just took them like that. They couldn't even get to go peacefully. They were in so much pain."
Chisato snorted as she took out her gun, and checked the magazine, "Maybe, I really should've switched just used live rounds in the first place. Majima and Mister Yoshi were right. I am a moron for thinking this world is good. If the world is cruel…. then maybe I should be too."
"Chisato, you aren't okay."
"I'm fine. I….I just want to be alone right now. Who am I kidding? I've always been alone."
"I can prove that you aren't."
"So, the fangirl's become a scientist now huh?"
"You just said Shinji Yoshimatsu might be right. Shinji Yoshimatsu. The man behind the Majima Incident. The man who shorted your heart so you would have two months to live. The man who tried to get you to tear his heart out. The man who nearly shot and killed Takina."
Chisato's eyes glared at her for a minute but then unfocused, "I…. just said that? No… you're lying. I didn't say Mister Yoshi was right. Right?"
"You just did. And you said that Majima was right. You know that Majima?"
"I…. didn't say that."
"You nearly beat a man to death."
"So what?" Chisato snorted. But she quickly shook her head, "I…wait…. I did?"
"You're currently squeezing my wrist," Chisato stepped back as she realized that her hand was gripping Erika's wrist. Erika took a breath of relief as she released it as she was pretty sure Chisato was about to snap it.
"I didn't! I…. I didn't."
"Check the graves. You punched them out of frustration."
Chisato looked at her knuckles and then the graves, "I wouldn't! These are my friends' graves! I wouldn't do anything to desecrate them or something!"
"You called Takina stupid. You called your no-nonsense Takina, stupid."
"I…what's happening to me?" Chisato responded as she rubbed her eyes, "I…. What the hell is going on? It's hard to think. Why is it so hard to think?"
"Let's head to Agito's. There's something I probably should enlighten you about."
Erika and Chisato sat inside Agito's Bakery, the two watching the torrential downpour in front of them. Erika nibbled on the taiyaki she had bought for herself while a croissant she bought for Chisato remained untouched.
"So…. what do you need to enlighten me about?"
"Do you know how people say they're blinded with rage? That's a very real thing. It's what just happened to you."
"I've gotten angry before but to the point where I barely remember what I've done?"
"You were angry towards the world for taking away people that you loved. That's a special kind of anger. The anger at everything around you. All reason and focus go out the window in favor of absolute cruelty. And when you calm down, when you regain control, you don't remember what you've done. It's what's beyond the breaking point of the mind: the rage of a world-hating human."
"This has happened you, hasn't it?" Chisato responded as she took a small bite out of her croissant, "You're speaking from experience."
"I am."
"What happened?"
"When I got brought into DA, I was so angry at the world. My mom was a social worker. My dad worked at the Saint's Charity Organization as a manager. My big brother was considering a vocation as a priest. They were all good people. But in the span of forty-five seconds, they were gone."
"Erika, you don't have to finish," Chisato responded gently as she saw that Erika was slightly trembling, her fists clenched as if ready to fight. But Erika took a breath and gained control as she relaxed. It had been a really long time since she's talked about this. She thought she had better control of her emotions towards this issue, but she overestimated her abilities.
"No, I want to."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I need you to understand the consequences of what your screwed-up mindset will lead to."
"I…. okay."
Erika continued, "I was just a kid, you know? What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this? And I just kept getting angrier and angrier."
"And you were in DA training while you were, what, three?"
"Four actually but yeah, that didn't help. Waking up, getting yelled at, gun practice, CQC practice, anatomy lessons on where the most optimal place to strike. Lycoris are meant to disregard empathy. When you disregard that when you're angry, well….."
"Not well."
"My training days were the worst…. for everyone around me. I constantly snapped at instructors whenever they corrected how I was handling a handgun. During CQC practice, I would nearly cause my opponents to become black and blue. I nearly cursed out everyone who talked to me. I think one time I tried to punch a security guard."
"I know DA tries to make us cruel," Chisato commented, "But it sounds like you were taking it to another level for that level of training. Did they try to do anything?"
"Miss Mizuki tried to help me. She kept trying to teach me breath control, counting to ten, and all that kind of stuff, general anger management stuff. But I was never receptive. I was even worse when she tried to get me to talk about my family."
"Wait, why was Miss Mizuki trying to help you? I mean, she's always been pretty helpful but this sorta sounds like out of her paygrade."
"Well, she was the DA psychologist."
"Wait, she was a psychologist?" Chisato sputtered in shock, her mind not being able to have the image of a professional psychologist with the current drunkard she knew, "I thought she was just an intelligence officer! Wait, DA has a psychologist? That would've been helpful…a lot. Like a way lot. I can't imagine the field day they'd have with Takina."
"Wait, you didn't know that?" Erika questioned as Chisato's face reddened a bit. Despite the seriousness of the topic, she was glad to see a bit of the old Chisato slowly coming out, "And yeah, we do have one. I asked Sakura about it when I found out the Yatagarasu Council existed, and she said it was mandatory for all the branches to have at least one. But since you know we're tyke-bomb teenager assassins-"
"It isn't advertised much," Chisato sighed as she rubbed her temples, "No wonder she left. She was just trying to give us mental health and the organization limited how much she could do that."
"Anyway, she tried her best, but I wasn't receptive. I didn't care about her. I didn't care about anything. I just hated everything around me. There were times that I tried. And for a little bit, and just a little bit, I started to seem stable. But…."
Erika took a deep breath.
One.
Two.
Three.
"On my first mission, I never listened to the briefing because well, I was too angry to listen. But when I got to the mission site, I found out that the mission was to eliminate a home intruder who had taken a family of a mother, two daughters, and a baby son."
"You didn't take it well. A repeat of the past came back to make you angry."
"When I found out…everything just went red. One second, I was looking through the binoculars seeing the man, and the next…. I was standing over a bloodied body."
"You attacked the intruder, didn't you?"
"I did. I tore…." Erika took a breath, "I killed him. With my bare hands. But…."
One.
Two.
Three.
"But.…. but I also attacked the mother. I was so blinded with rage that I attacked an innocent person. I attacked the victim in all of this. Thank God, I couldn't do much. She fought back at me, throwing stuff like pots and pans at my head to keep me back. Even if I was a trained Lycoris, I was still a small six-year-old."
Erika covered her mouth as she felt herself almost puke with Chisato coming to her aid. But Erika quickly got a handle on it and gently pushed Chisato back, "I'm okay. I'm okay."
"Erika, you can stop."
The girl didn't listen. She needed to make Chisato understand, "My squad busted in and stopped me from doing anything more. She got off with some scratches. Nothing too bad. If you're wondering, she's doing well today. She helped invest in Agito's apparently and I ask the owner how she's doing from time to time. I keep it subtle though. The last thing she needs is to see the beast that almost mauled her to death."
Chisato was speechless for a minute, but she reached out her hand. It wrapped around Erika's and gave a tiny squeeze of reassurance. Erika gave a sad smile back as she squeezed her hand back. The Chisato Nishikigi that she knew was back.
"But after my squad restrained me, I was able to come too. And…"
One.
Two.
Three.
"Chisato, watching someone die is one thing. But making someone die by your bare hands?" Erika shivered, "When I came too, I remembered what I did to that woman. I was disgusted with myself. Just utterly disgusted. And then…And then, I remembered everything I did to that man. Every detail."
"Lycoris wonder why I hate killing," Erika quietly continued, "They think it's easy. But that's because they use a gun. My first kill came from my hands. And with my hands…. I…."
One.
Two.
Three.
"I felt the warmth of that man go away as the cold grip of death took him. It's because I felt his beating heart stop moving. I felt the last vestiges of air leave his throat. That…it…it was awful. Death is just awful. I don't care if anyone says I'm a freak for hating killing, or if I'm Chisato Junior, killing is awful. Just because Lycoris have to kill doesn't mean it's a good thing. It's just awful. So awful."
Erika sighed, "My squad was terrified of me, and they pointed their guns at me. Then, I just ran. I ran for a while until I found myself at the edge of Kachidoki Bridge. I was so horrified and just disgusted with what I had done. I had killed a man by tearing him apart but then I attacked an innocent mother. I…I became what I hated. I became that home intruder that took my family. After that, I looked at the waters below. And I jumped."
"Oh my god."
"I'm not Catholic but I guess God was watching me because as I jumped Miss Nakahara grabbed me and just held me while I broke down. I got brought back into headquarters and almost got put into an isolation cell, but Miss Nakahara helped get me into a regular room. From there, I had sessions for a couple of months until I was psychologically fit for duty. Since Lycoris kill all the time, I wasn't charged for it or anything, but Kusunoki did keep an eye on me for a little while. Everywhere I walked there were some security guards always trailing me. It took a year for that to stop happening."
Erika quickly wiped away some tears, "But during those months of psychological fixing, Miss Mizuki gave me some words that I always have resonated with me: 'Don't let rage control you, let your humanity guide you.' Heh. That was so long ago. She probably doesn't even remember about it."
"Do the Lycoris remember what you did?"
"Thankfully no. While it is on my file, I'm pretty much a nobody. Just a regular second rank. All the Lycoris who did see it died on missions a few short years after that. And even if they didn't, they were just too terrified to talk about it."
"The only thing good that ever came out of that period of my life was my time with Miss Nakahara," Erika pondered as she had a slight smile on her face. "And it was because of her I realized that DA wasn't too bad. If Miss Nakahara came out of DA and was a thriving and emotionally stable adult, then well….maybe I can end up somewhat decent."
"My parents died because of a monster, and I almost became a monster," Erika continued as she looked at her trembling hand, but she then gripped it shut. "So, while I laid there in the psychiatric ward letting my mind and body heal, I decided to live and continue being a Lycoris so what happened to me doesn't happen to anyone else. I don't want anyone to become so full of sorrow and anger as I did. I want to protect people. That's what's in my heart. But the only way to do what my heart desires is through power. Power only DA can give me."
She took a breath, "I….I know I dropped a lot on you and it's a lot but….can you not tell anyone about this? I mean I understand if you tell Takina but just keep it at that."
"I won't tell anyone about this. Not even Takina. You don't have to worry," Chisato assured which made Erika sigh in a bit of relief. She felt ashamed of what she did. But she tried to move forward and make sure that it didn't happen again. But if people kept bringing it up and shaming her for it…things might repeat.
Erika took both of Chisato's hands and looked her straight in the eyes, "Chisato, the world is cruel. But don't let it make you cruel. Don't make the same mistakes I did. You're the best person in the whole wide world. You're so kind and gentle. You've made so many lives better by being just you. So please…just please…don't become what I did. Know the world is cruel but love what isn't cruel about it."
Chisato nodded, "I won't. And…thank you, Erika."
Chisato sighed as she and Erika walked back into the café with Kurumi and Mizuki waiting at a table while Mika was currently pouring some coffee and talking to an exhausted-looking man. Chisato groaned as she took off her wet poncho, "Man, first I had to sow it up after getting hit with a car and now it's gonna be a pain to dry it. Heh. I'll let Takina do..."
"Chisato?"
"I…. I just remembered. I got into a fight with Takina this morning about…you know. God, I was that out of it…." Chisato quietly responded as she rubbed her eyes. She grabbed her poncho and put it back on as she prepared to go back to her apartment. Takina was still bedridden from being sick, "I need to go fix that. Hopefully, I can fix things."
"You can."
"Erika…thank you again. And I'm sorry for earlier."
"All is forgiven," Erika responded as she gave a small thumbs-up. Chisato left out the door but not before saying hi to all the staff. Erika sat at a table as she placed her face down. She felt like she had just run a marathon in her brain. She closed her eyes to give herself a couple seconds of rest.
Talking about that stuff sucked.
It really sucked.
It made the pain in her heart flare up.
But at the same time…..just talking about it with her friend did make the pain seem….less intense?
Erika was just really tired to be honest.
She'd think about her emotions later.
Now was the time for some naps!
"Yo," the voice of Kurumi called out, shaking Erika from her three seconds of rest, "Don't sleep yet. Is Chisato doing, okay? I heard from Mika that she sorta snapped at you earlier and you were going to fix it or something."
Erika sighed as she pulled her head up to properly talk to Kurumi, "She's doing all good now. We talked things out. If you're worried about her, she's going to her apartment to clear things up with Takina about…a thing."
"Hm. Thanks," Kurumi ended as she went into the back of the café. A second later, she came out with a drone and threw it out the window.
"Uh…. you could go check up on her normally."
"This is normally," she curtly responded as she returned to the back of the café with a remote control in her hands, "See you."
"Um, see you, Miss Kurumi!" Erika awkwardly finished as she finished laying her head down. She just needed a few seconds of just rest and then she would head o-
"So, playing psychologist now, are we?" the voice of Mizuki slightly teased. Erika wanted desperately to keep her head down, but she didn't want to be rude. She sighed as she turned up to look at Miss Mizuki, slightly smiling mischievously.
"Oh hello, Miss Nakahara! And I didn't. I just helped Chisato out," she responded, "She probably would've been fine with my help really."
"We both know that wouldn't be the case," she laughed as she went to the countertop and poured two cups of coffee. She went over to the table Erika was at and sat down with her, placing one cup for herself and Erika, "When we were on vacation in Hawaii, besides trying to convince random people that I don't speak English, I tried to have an impromptu session with Chisato about…well everything. First, her heart got shorted out leaving her having two months to live. Then, she found out the person who gave her heart to her wanted her to murder. Then, she almost died by falling off Enkuboku against Majima. And now…well…. you know what happened recently."
"Thank you," Erika responded as she sipped from the cup, "And wow. She really has been through a lot. Still though, were you able to at least get her feelings out on everything?"
"Chisato isn't one for touchy feelings. And don't even get me started on trying to get Takina to talk about her feelings."
"It wasn't too hard…right?"
"Have you met Takina?"
"She isn't too bad…. right?"
"I've gotten more out of a brick wall."
"Ouch."
"Point is, I'm wondering how the hell you were able to basically have a therapy session with Chisato!" she exclaimed with wonder, "I mean you should've seen how she looked after…you know. She looks so much more at ease now. She isn't totally 100% but she's definitely better looking than she was a week ago. And…well…. She actually snapped at me a couple of times when I tried to help her. She seemed so much more cynical about everything. It was really disheartening. We don't get a lot of positivity like that in the world. So, spill it! What's your secret?"
"I…uh…" Erika squirmed a bit in her chair. She really didn't want to talk about this again. The girl had only done it out of necessity. Plus, she really didn't want Miss Mizuki to relive her psychology sessions, "I…I just related a bit."
Miss Mizuki sipped her coffee a bit and was quiet. She gave a small smile as she patted Erika's head, "I understand. No worries. I won't say anything. You've really grown up from that ball of anger, haven't you?"
"You remember?"
"I remember all the sessions I had with the Lycoris," she responded sadly. She pulled a beer can out of her dress and began sipping, her eyes getting slightly emptier. "I remember everything."
"I'm sorry for being a burden."
"You never were," she laughed gently. However, her smile became a lot wider as she started to get a little drunk, "You know what's a burden: not being able to find a good man. Any advice oh wise one?"
Erika laughed. She forgot how Mizuki used humor to help alleviate situations, "Well, there seems to be a man who's in desperate need for some happiness over there."
Erika pointed to the exhausted-looking man Mika was talking to and serving. Mizuki's goofy smile became a despondent frown, "No go on that one. That…. that was Detective Abe's boyfriend. Poor guy. He was debating about proposing to Abe for a while. He had the ring for about three months and everything. But now…"
The girl looked at a nearby photo of Takina and Chisato in their LycoReco outfits making goofy faces (well Chisato was anyways, Takina just looked bored) with the patrons.
"He'll never have the chance."
"Poor guy," Erika responded as she got up, needing some time to think. As she left, Mizuki gently took her hand.
"Hey…. how's your head?" Mizuki asked gently as she sipped some beer. "I know we don't talk that much and I'm not a psychologist anymore but…. just wondering."
"It's okay! It's my fault we don't talk as much as we should," Erika laughed. "I'm doing good. I think I have an answer to something I've been looking for."
"You…. you haven't gone fuzzy in a while right?"
"Yeah no. I don't even remember the last time I went all nuts."
"Good. Well, not good that you're calling it nuts but good. Blind rage is a gateway to some…." Mizuki hesitated with Erika looking a bit confused.
"Gateway to what?"
"Never mind. Just…. just take care of yourself okay?" Mizuki smiled as she patted Erika's head. "I know we don't talk but stop by if you ever need advice. You're never alone you know."
Erika didn't know how to respond to that statement.
"Thanks again for driving me, Sakura," Erika thanked as she tightened her grip around Sakura's hips. Erika had twisted her ankle on a mission this morning so she couldn't ride her motorcycle, "I know your idea of spending a Saturday morning is sleeping in but-"
"You're my friend and you needed help," Sakura responded bluntly as she pulled into the Sakura Church parking lot, "And also stop thanking me every three seconds. Do….do you need someone to go with you? For support?"
Sakura and Erika collapsed their helmets as Sakura put the brakes on. The young Janome took some flowers out of her bag, placing her collapsed helmet inside, "No, thank you though. I'm used to going at it alone."
Sakura smiled sadly as she patted Erika's bike, "Well, tell them I said hi. I got to make sure no one takes your ride. I'll be your knight in shining armor for today!"
"Okay. But don't really work too hard about the bike thing," Erika explained as she pointed to a redhead sitting on the Sakura Church steps. "The pastor's daughter typically watches my bike whenever I'm here. Hi Kyoko!"
"Wassuuup!" she yelled back, waving to the two girls.
"I'm usually at the graves for a while, so you should say hi to her," Erika said as she gave Kyoko a wave. "Thanks again for driving me."
"You're too nice," Sakura snorted as she went to go say hi to the fiery redhead. Erika laughed a bit the best she could as she made her way into the graveyard.
"Hey Mom. Hey Dad. Hey Big Brother," Erika greeted as she placed the flowers down on the graves. "My friend, Sakura, says hi. She's pretty cool! I wish you could've met her."
"Things…have been crazy. Missions. Missions. And…. I told Chisato about that night with the mother. I was able to help her thank God. But afterward, once all was said and done, I ended up talking to Miss Mizuki and was able to get a perspective on…Takina. I don't want to wait anymore."
"I…I'm going to try."
Erika placed a hand on her heart.
"I'm not sure…but I think this'll make me happy."
Erika took a breath.
She placed a hand on her heart.
The horror of watching her family die.
The shame of the Kachidoki Incident.
The guilt of getting Takina fired.
All are still there.
But maybe after Takina…
It'll be a lot less painful.
Maybe romance will help her deal with the pain better.
It had to be.
Because what else was there in life to help her with her pain?
My god I rewrote this chapter so many times hot damn.
Backstory Time.
One thing that I wanted elaborate more is how much being a child assassin would mess you up no matter what goofy anime music is played or whatever fluffy antics is shown.
I mean look at Takina!
She had zero remorse about almost turning Erika into swiss cheese.
So yeah.
Child assassins are really messed up if you think about it.
Hope you enjoyed 7 and 8! Please leave a review or leave a comment on the AO3 Kamen Rider Lycoris!
Where Do I Go - 9 and Where Do I Go - 10: Week of October 16th to 21
Where Do I Go - 11 and Where Do I Go - 12: Week of November 13th to 18th
Where Do I Go - 13 and Where Do I Go - 14: December 11th to 15th
The horrors that await beyond the veil of blinding rage...