Team Rocket was spending the day at HQ, when suddenly the telephone in their room rang; James picked it up and Jessie huddled up next to him to listen in. Suddenly, James hung up the phone with a big sigh, while Jessie looked irritated.
"Ugh!" Jessie complained…
"What's da matter?" Meowth asked, curious as to what the call was about.
"We have to do our annual TR physical while we're here…" James said, looking bummed about the whole thing.
"And, what's so bad about dat?" Meowth asked, genuinely confused as to why this was a bad thing.
"Because! It's just one more reason to stick their nose in our business!" Jessie retorted.
"Yeah! And stick us with needles!" James shuddered.
Jessie and James headed down to the TR occupational health department, each taken back into separate rooms for their annual physicals and medical records updates. Jessie was becoming more agitated the longer she waited in the room.
"Huuhhhhhhgggghhhh, this is stupid!" Jessie kicked the trash bin "I'm getting out of here".
Suddenly, as Jessie started to leave the TR Nurse walked in the room. "Hi. You must be Jessie?" She opened up a file.
"Maybe…but I'm out of here. This whole thing is a joke!" Jessie was becoming more irritable by the second.
"As inconveniencing as this may seem, I assure you it is very necessary-and a requirement of your job. Please, have a seat on the exam table. I'll try to make this quick" The Nurse patted the seat of the table.
Jessie mumbled and groaned as she took a seat. She crossed her arms in disgust and disinterest.
"Now tell me, are there any concerns you would like to discuss with me today?" inquired the Nurse.
"Um, No! Obviously not. I'm just here because I have to be. Can we wrap it up now!" Jessie was fuming.
"Is something the matter? You seem awfully upset for a simple visit" The Nurse was noticing how intense and off balance Jessie was acting. She began jotting down something in her file.
Jessie threw up her arms and stood up from the exam table, "This is ridiculous! I came here for an in and out exam-not an interrogation!" Jessie had steam coming out of her ears.
"Ma'am please, take a seat. You seem to be stressed out so I'm going to wrap this up now." She began scribbling something on a prescription pad. "Here, take this and get it filled at the pharmacy. For this one, take in the morning with a full glass of water, and these two at night before bed." The Nurse handed Jessie the prescription.
"Yeah, sure. Whatever." Then before the Nurse could even explain what the medications were for, Jessie stormed out of the office. James was already out in the hallway waiting for her.
"How'd it go Jess?" James looked uncomfortable and teary eyed as he rubbed his arm from another booster shot.
"Terrible as always," She looked at the prescription in her hand and huffed.
"What's that Jessie?" James asked curiously.
"Nothing. Let's go." Jessie was still just as irritable.
James and Jessie walked back to HQ to pick up Meowth. It was time for them to leave and head back out to find the twerps. Jessie stopped to look at the prescription one more time, and raised an eyebrow, "I wonder what this is even for? Maybe it will help me better strategize a way to catch those twerps and that Pikachu" she thought to herself.
While James and Meowth were setting up camp in a park next to town, Jessie decided to step away really quickly and fill her prescription. Although skeptical, she figured it was given to her for a reason. "Whatever. We'll see just what this does."
The next morning, Jessie sat up and took her first dose of medicine with her morning tea and a full cup of water. She didn't think much of it at first, but then after about half an hour she began feeling somewhat sedated. Although she woke up in typical fiery passion, Jessie got more and more quiet as the day went on. After another unsuccessful attempt at trying to capture Pikachu, the Team headed back to camp. Normally, Jessie would have blamed her team for their failure and incompetence, but this time she was uncharacteristically quiet. James and Meowth spent a good 5 minutes preparing for a slap or a shout that never came.
After dinner, Jessie turned away and took her nighttime pills. These acted much quicker than the last, and she felt more sedated than before, and almost…numb? She was too out of it to even notice the adverse reaction to the medication, and she just sat by the fire with her friends looking into space.
"Jessie, are you alright?" asked a concerned James.
"Yeah Jess, you look spacier den a slowpoke" Meowth kidded.
Jessie didn't say anything at first, staring at the ground at her feet, "I'm fine, let's turn in for the night".
James and Meowth shrugged, and the Team turned in for the evening, each grabbing their sleeping bags and falling asleep.
As the days went on, Jessie seemed more and more out of it. She hadn't yelled or slapped her friends in the last three days, had been very quiet and unengaged, and had a strange blank stare and it was hard to pull her back in attention. Her friends became aware of her sudden change of behavior, but were starting to wonder if she was just coming down with something. Inside however, Jessie was fighting a battle her friends did not know about. Jessie was starting to feel horrible on her medications, and although she tried to stop them one day just missing one dose made her feel even worse so she began taking them again.
Within the first two days, Jessie started experiencing many dark thoughts and memories. Memories of her childhood and the loss of her Mother circled back into the forefront of her thoughts. She started obsessing over all of her lifetime failures and hardships…flunking out of pokemon tech, the hard struggles during her time in the bicycle gang and now in Team Rocket. All of her failed attempts at capturing Pikachu (or any other Pokemon for the boss). Her relationship with her teammates; she began feeling guilty and unwell at the thought of hitting and berating them all the time. She started having intrusive thoughts on the time James called her "ugly", or implying that he'd rather die than marry her. Although at the time she knew he was just kidding and being dramatic, her deep thoughts brought these memories in a new light and she began feeling horrible about herself, especially since she had strong feelings for James-caring for him more than just a friend.
It had almost been a week since beginning her medication by this point. James and Meowth walked along, chatting and laughing about their new idea to capture Pikachu. They were so certain this time would be the time they succeeded! Jessie trailed behind them a little bit and didn't say too much. They noticed after a bit that Jessie was quiet.
"Hey Jess, you ok back dere? You're usually just as enthusiastic about our plans as us! Do you got any bad feelins about dis one?" Meowth asked.
Jessie shook her head no, not looking at them. "No. I uh…it's a great plan." She didn't have much pep in her voice, and seemed low on energy.
"Jessie, are you ok?" James asked, noticing how she was acting.
"Yeah, I'm fine James." Jessie continued to look towards the ground.
"Hmm" James didn't believe her, but assumed maybe she was tired. Maybe she really was coming down with a cold or something.
After another failed attempt at capturing Pikachu brought the trio to a nearby lodge in town. They were all exhausted and worn down from another loss, but Jessie seemed more defeated than the others. Once they entered their room, Jessie immediately changed into her sleeping clothes and laid down in one of the beds. James and Meowth just looked at each other and shrugged.
"Jessie, it's almost dinner time," James reminded her.
"Yeah, don't youse wanna come out and join us while we grab some grub?" Meowth thoughtfully asked.
Jessie turned over to face away from them. "No thank you." They could barely hear her, and she didn't sound like herself at all.
"Jess? Are you sick?" James questioned, growing more concerned about Jessie's sudden behavior.
"Yeah, you seem like you're catchin somethin' dere, Jess!" Meowth agreed.
"Maybe I am getting sick. I'll be fine, I just want to rest. You guys go ahead without me". Jessie turned off her side table lamp and pulled the blanket over her shoulders.
"Well, no worries! Well bring youse home somethin'. Meowth said.
"Waaabufffett!" Wobbuffet agreed.
—
After a couple of hours, Team Rocket sans Jessie returned to the lodge room after stuffing themselves full. They made sure to bring home some takeaway for Jessie, being sure to get a couple of her favorite things in the hopes of getting some of her energy back. Once they returned however, Jessie was still laying in the same spot, with all the lights off, and did not seem interested at all in eating.
"But Jess, we got all your favorite foods!" Whined James
"Yeah, and dey weren't easy ta steal I tell ya that!" Meowth complained.
Jessie turned around, facing her teammates. She wanted so badly to tell them how she was feeling—that she was scared, that she felt horrible, that she needed help, but something within her prevented her from saying this. It's as if any desire to continue on was slowly fading away. It was a horrible feeling that she never experienced before. "Maybe a few more days of the medicine will help me…and at least I'm not hitting or offending my team anymore…especially…Ja.."
Jessie's thoughts were disrupted as James knelt beside her with a warm plate of food.
"Come on Jess. Please eat something. If you are getting sick you'll need to keep Your strength—I insist". He gave her a warm smile.
Normally, any attention from James would have sent Jessie into overdrive and she would have Butterfree in her stomach. Not today. Today she felt…defeated, dissociated, empty…she didn't even respond to James' kind words or gestures, she just stared off with a blankness in her eyes James had never seen before.
"Jessie?" James looked worried. Jessie soon looked up at James and saw the concern on his face.
"I'll be ok. I'm just getting sick. Thank you for bringing me something to eat, but I'm not hungry. Help yourselves". And with that, Jessie turned around and continued sleeping as her team looked towards her in utter confusion.
"Boy Jim. I ain't eva seen Jess dis sick before." Meowth commented.
"Me either Meowth". James said worriedly.
—-
Jessie was lying down on the bed at the opposite side of the room. She was on her stomach, hiding her face in the crook of her arm. She hadn't gotten up from this spot in nearly 24 hours, and was still laying in the same sleeping clothes she'd had on for 2 days with flat, unstyled hair. Jessie was obviously still not feeling like herself.
"Hey Jess, are youse still sick?" Meowth asked, concerned for his human friend.
"Yes. You guys go on ahead. I'll stay here." Jessie mumbled without ever moving from this spot.
James looked at her in concern. He believed she was telling the truth about being sick, but something in his gut shouted at him that it was something more…
"Ok Jess. We'll be back soon," James calmly said as he, Meowth, and Wobuffet left the room.
Jessie lay there still for several more minutes, then she opened her eyes and stared at nothing in front of her. It was as if she was in a blank trance, void of all feeling or concern for the world and life that she was living. Suddenly, she sat up looking around the room in frantics. She just wanted something, anything, to make the pain go away. She was at a loss of what to do-she felt scared, vulnerable, horrible, depressed…she hated the thought of continuing on like this.
Jessie sat on the edge of her bed, squeezing her eyes shut hard as the tears slipped down and ran over her cheeks, "I…I can't take this anymore…I'm sorry." Jessie thought to herself. Then, she got the unthinkable urge, and everything went black.
After another failed plan, James, Meowth, and Wobuffett decided to head back to the room. This failure didn't even really bother them as much as it normally would, they were too distracted by thoughts of Jessie and hoping she would feel better soon. It felt weird to go on missions without her.
As they were walking closer to the hotel, Meowth noticed James being exceptionally quiet.
"You ok dere, Jimmy?" Meowth looked up at his friend, noticing the forlorn look on his face.
"Meowth, I'm really worried about Jessie." James confessed.
"She'll be ok James! It's only been a couple of days! She probably just has dat flu dats going around da region! She'll be back to her old self in no time!" Meowth said confidently.
"Maybe. But I don't know, something doesn't seem right about her. I'm worried that there is something more going on than just a simple flu or virus," James was deep in thought, trying to figure out what was going on with his friend. Jessie obviously looked unwell, but something about the way she spoke and her flat affect didn't seem normal to him. Any other time she was feeling ill, she was still her typical dramatic or fiery self. She seemed so out of it.
They finally reached the hotel, and walked straight up to their room. As James unlocked the room with the card key, James and Meowth called over in the direction of her bed.
"Hey Jess!" Meowth said loudly, announcing their presence.
"We're back Jess, are you fee-JESSIE!?"
James, Meowth, and Wobuffett looked at the horrific scene before them. Jessie was still in bed, but appeared to be slumped over, with what was obviously blood seeping through the arms of her sleeping shirt and dripping onto the floor. James sprinted to her and immediately tried to shake her awake…
"Jess! JESS!" James shouted at her and gently shook her, then noticed just how much blood she was losing as it seeped through and covered his own uniform. Jessie began to move a tiny bit but was very weak and whispering something that was incoherent. "Meowth, get me something to cover these wounds and call 911..NOW!" Meowth brought back some old wraps and rags then called for an ambulance as James wrapped the cloth tightly around her arms and held as much pressure as he could. As he wrapped them, he noticed that the long, deep vertical cuts had obviously been intentional—this realization absolutely destroyed him, and he did everything he could to not lose it—he needed to be strong and keep it together for Jessie.
The longer James kept pressure on her cuts, the less reactive Jessie became. After about 5 minutes of continuous pressure on her arms, Jessie went completely limp on the bed where she lay and started closing her eyes. James freaked out and shrieked in terror and felt his heart pound out from his chest…
James immediately tried to sit Jessie up and arouse her again, her body was limp and she just slowly slumped over. "Jess, Jessie!" James slowly dragged her out of bed onto the floor with him, and held her in his lap as he continued to shout in horror.
"No. No. No. No. Jessie, don't do this! Jessie, please! Stay with me. Stay with me Jessie," James felt a wave of tears rush from his eyes and he began to cry as he cradled her lifeless body in his arms. He held her firmly to his chest as he sobbed, rocking with her in a delirious fit. Meowth and Wobbuffet began to tear up at the sight of Jessie so unresponsive, but also how deeply in pain James was.
Meowth noticed that on her nightstand were several prescription bottles, all of which were empty.
"Alprazolam. Haloperidol. Risperidone. What is dis stuff!?" Meowth asked, extremely confused as to what these strange medications were.
As James continued holding Jessie, keeping pressure on her wounds, waiting for the paramedics to arrive, he suddenly remembered he had heard of some of those medications before. The medications she was on were mood stabilizers and antidepressants; he had taken several different antidepressants before as a young teen. But why was Jessie taking them? He had never heard of her being prescribed these until today.
Finally, there was a very loud knock on the door: the paramedics had arrived. Meowth and Wobuffett rushed to the door to let them inside. The EMTs rushed to take Jessie from James' arms and placed her flat on the ground and quickly began checking her vitals and bandaging her arms. One of the EMTs placed leads on her chest and stomach to check her heart rate, other cords appeared to be monitoring her O2 stats and breathing. A weird foam began to leak from the sides of Jessie's mouth, and the paramedics shined a light into her eyes, trying to get her pupils to react. They were now fixed and dilated.
Suddenly, the lines on the monitor went flat and a shrill high pitched alarm filled the room.
"We're losing her! Get me the defibrillator!" The female paramedic shouted at her team as she started compressions. Everyone started to rush quickly, ripping her shirt in half and placing the pads all over her chest and shoving a tube down her throat…
"CLEAR!" An electric charge shot through Jessie's body as her lifeless body jumped from the sudden volt.
They continued repeating this as she remained unresponsive.
"Get me the epinephrine shot! We have to restart her heart quickly" shouted another EMT.
"1…2….CLEAR!"
Meowth and Wobuffeet looked on in terror, unable to speak, holding their hands over their mouths with tears in their eyes.
James lost it.
James fell to his knees and continued to sob, "Please Jess, please don't leave me…I can't…*sniff* I can't *sniff*...I can't…*sob* He was running out of breath and at the brink of a full blown panic attack.
One of the paramedics put their hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him but then spoke after a couple moments.
"Sir, We're working on her, we are doing everything we can to save her, and I understand you are in shock right now but I need your help to understand what she may have taken or if you have noticed anything unusual with your friend."
James looked up with red eyes filled with tears, his mind was spinning and he felt as though the earth was disappearing beneath him. Suddenly, he came too and remembered the bottles. He shakinly got up and ran over to the three empty bottles and handed them over to the lead EMT.
"Here, I think she took these. This is the first time I have ever noticed them, and when I found them next to her they were all empty," James said pitifully in between shaky breaths.
The lead EMT looked over the bottles as his team continued working on getting Jessie out into the ambulance. "We got a heart rate, We're going to transport her now!" Called out another EMT.
"Interesting. These were just filled 5 days ago." The EMT stated flatly.
"And what does dat mean?" Asked Meowth.
"These are 30 day prescriptions. It means that she took nearly a month's worth of these medications in less than 24 hours."
James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet were in horror.
They walked outside with the EMTs as they loaded Jessie into the back of the ambulance. They let them know there wasn't enough room in the back, but that they could ride separately and meet them at the hospital a couple of miles away. The EMT had barely just finished her sentence before James sprinted to the Rocket Vehicle and floored it to the hospital so he could be there as soon as Jessie arrived.
After arriving at the hospital and waiting for a couple of hours, the team of doctors that worked on Jessie came out to speak to them. James and his Pokémon friends stood up to hear the news—praying for something, anything good.
"We were able to stabilize your friend, however, she's in pretty rough condition so we've placed her in the critical care unit. She's been placed under a medical induced coma to help her recover from the swelling and trauma. You may go up and see her if you'd like; just please be aware she may not look too good right now.
"Doctor. Please, tell me. Is Jessie going to be alright?" James asked pitifully.
"We are confident she will make a full recovery " the doctor finally gave a warm smile.
James, Meowth, and Wobuffet breathed a huge sigh of relief, they felt so relieved.
"That's amazing; thank you all for saving my dear…uh…our dear Jessie," James gratefully said towards the team of physicians "now tell me, when will we be able to bring her home?"
"Well, given the circumstances we will need to hold her in observation for a couple of days until she is brought out of her coma and extubated. Then she will be transferred to a nearby facility for continued psychiatric care and treatment. The doctors there will be the ones who will ultimately decide when she will be ready to return home". The doctor said this with what appeared to be humility for his patient's companions. He knew this news would be hard to hear.
"Circumstances? Psychiatric Care? Observation? I'm sorry Doctor but I don't really understand…". James was trying to make sense of what exactly was happening.
"Your friend tried to commit suicide, we know now for certain. Because of this, she will need continued inpatient treatment and support to ensure her improved mental health. Ideally, the team there will assess her, diagnose her and place her on the correct medication if it is even necessary. It is possible that those newly prescribed medications she was on were the tipping point in an already difficult and unaddressed issue your friend has been facing," the doctor placed his hand on James' shoulder as he spoke with him. Then he thanked them for their patience, as the nurse directed them to which elevator and floor to take to visit Jessie.
They couldn't even wrap their brains around it at first. Jessie? Purposefully, intentionally trying to hurt herself—commit suicide? They just couldn't believe it.
They all stood there in shock as the team of doctors and nurses continued about their rounds. Suddenly, James felt his knees go weak and he fell to the floor. A massive wave of guilt hit him directly in the gut as he slammed his fists on the ground and screamed.
"AHHH!" James was wincing from emotional torment.
Meowth stood next to James and patted him on the back, he felt as horrible as he did.
"Hey dere, we didn't know Jessie was goin tru what she was goin tru" Meowth said trying to comfort James. It didn't seem to be working as James fell silent with tears streaming down his face. "She'll be alright James, da doctors are gonna make sure she's fixed up alright!"
"No Meowth, we should have known…. No-I should have known something was wrong with Jessie. I even felt as though something was wrong, I just…I just couldn't place it. I…I failed her Meowth." James buried his face in his hands.
"No youse didn't Jimmy. You saved her—you stopped the bleeding and took care of her until the ambulance arrived. You were da one who handled everyting so well". Meowth felt so bad for James, he could see how much of a mess he was. "Come on. Let's go visit Jess."
James, Meowth, and Wobuffett slowly approached Jessie's room and opened the door. When they entered, they noticed Jessie on the hospital bed with all sorts of wires and tubes coming from all directions. She was on a ventilator for oxygen, and had several IVs of unknown medications and fluids going into her. Her face and body looked swollen and was tinged red, and her eyes were taped shut. Her friends looked at her in shock at the doorway, unable to even process what they were looking at-it hurt them so deeply to see their close friend like this.
Meowth and Wobuffett approached the bed first, as James stayed back in a shocked daze looking at his best friend-his Jessie.
"Hey dere Jess. I don't know if you can hear us, but we're here" Meowth said gently as he patted her arm. The calm beeping of her monitors were almost soothing to her upset Pokemon companions. Wobbuffet had tears in his eyes and rubbed her calf, "Waaaaaaaabbbbuffff" he cried softly. Meowth and Wobbuffett turned and saw James still frozen in place with tears welling up in his eyes.
"Come on James, come over and say talk to Jess" Meowth urged him.
It took a moment for James to snap out of it, but he soon slowly stepped towards her and stood next to the head of her bed. He looked at her, almost unrecognizable-it was so unreal, and his mind was spinning yet blank all at the same time.
"Come on Wobbuffet, let's give James a minute" Meowth suggested. He and Wobbuffet left the room to give James some alone time with Jessie.
After standing still in quite a bit of shock, James sat down next to Jessie and took her hand. He felt a wave of sadness strike him across the face and he collapsed his face and arms into her bed, sobbing. "I'm so sorry Jessie…I'm so very sorry….I…I failed you as a partner…as…as a friend…" James was beside himself, burying his face deeper into the mattress to try anything to quiet his tears. "I love you."
The next couple of days were extremely hard on the trio. James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet reamined close by Jessie's side, spending all day long during open visiting hours with her and being sure to remain close to the hospital at night. Finally, one morning they got the call they had been waiting for.
"I have some good news this morning. We were able to extubate Jessie this morning and she is awake. She is still a little groggy from the medications that are slowly wearing off but she will be able to talk to you when you come and visit her today. We are working on getting her transferred out by this evening," shared the head Doctor.
As soon as the visiting hours opened up, James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet went straight up to Jessie's room. This time, when they opened the door everything was different…
Jessie was sitting up in bed, she was quiet, but appeared to look more like her old self. "Hi guys" she said softly with a slight smile. Her friends rushed over to her, happy to see her awake and ok. James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet wrapped themselves tightly around her, in a loving embrace and cried waterfalls of tears of relief and love. Jessie smiled, she was so happy her friends came to see her.
"How are you feeling Jess?" Meowth asked, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Much better. The doctors said that the medication I was taking was a bad mix for me. Hopefully the new facility will be able to find something better before I am discharged."
"What exactly was dat medicine for anyways Jess?" Meowth asked as James held onto her hand.
"I uh, I have some stuff that I haven't really dealt with before. And, when I get upset sometimes I go 0 to 100 and get angr…." Jessie stopped herself. Dealing with all of this and finally addressing her pain was still fresh and difficult for her.
James stroked her hand, "It's ok Jess, we're just glad you're ok." James smiled at her, with a tear of relief falling down his cheek. Suddenly, one of the nurses came back in the room and checked her fluids.
"Glad to see you up this morning, dear. How are you feeling" the nurse was kind.
"Much better, thank you," Jessie smiled.
Then the Doctor walked in, "Ok Ms. Jessie, we were able to confirm your transport will be at 4pm today." Jessie nodded, she was ready to just put this chapter behind her.
Jessie had only been at the facility for about 4 days, when they were already planning her discharge. She had several successful one on one sessions with her psychologist, counselor, psychiatrist, and many engaging group sessions as well. Jessie was feeling confident in her recovery, and ready to go home and start fresh with her team and with herself. She was given anxiety medication to take as needed, but otherwise the team felt that talk therapy would benefit her more than medications-Jessie agreed. She had actually been enjoying talking to someone about her life; her dreams, thoughts, failures, past and present…it made her feel so good to release all of the stuff she had been burying all this time. The day before her discharge, James came by to visit her in the rec room, bringing her a bouquet of flowers. He was so happy to see her going home and feeling better.
"I'm so happy to see you doing so much better Jessie" James smiled at his friend with a tear in his eye. "I was so worried about you…I thought I would lose you…" James trailed off, getting emotional again.
Jessie grabbed James' hand, "Thank you for being there for me James, not just now, but always," Jessie smiled back. "Of course Jessie," James said sniffling.
They were silent for a moment, but then Jessie spoke again:
"James, I…there's something I need to tell you" Jessie started, James looked at her listening intently, wondering what she was going to say to him.
"James, I am sorry for the way I have treated the team over the years, I know I haven't exactly been the easiest person to get along with or deal with." Jessie confessed, James looked on with her quite surprised at what she was saying to him. In all the years of Jessie's fits and outbursts, no one ever brought it up-it was sort of this unspoken thing everyone tolerated and dealt with.
"But James. I owe you an apology more than anyone. I know I have been extra hard on you at times, yelling at you, being despicable, hitting you…there is no excuse, and I am so very sorry James," Jessie began to cry softly, "You don't deserve it, and I am so sorry." her voice began to crack. James looked at her in shock, he had never seen her so open and vulnerable with him before.
"Jessie." James didn't know what to say, but he felt good to hear her say that and he wanted to comfort her. He hugged her tightly, not saying anything and just embracing her as she started to calm down. "Jessie, It's ok…I understand you have dealt with many things in your life, things the team or I even know about I am sure, but I am here for you always; and I forgive you. You mean everything to me Jess." James squeezed her tightly before Jessie and him let go.
"I love you, James," Jessie gave James a kiss. James felt his face turn bright red, and he touched his hand to his lips. Jessie blushed in return, but knew she needed to say how she felt-no more bottling things inside.
"Jessie." James leaned in and gave her a kiss, this time deepening the kiss into a passionate and loving affair. "I love you too."