The wormhole opened with the familiar Kawoosh of light and what looked like water and a few seconds later, SG-1 stepped out and was immediately greeted by Colonel Albert Reynolds of SG-3.

Colonel Jack O'Neill looked around and sighed. This was not what he wanted to be doing on his day off, but General Hammond insisted that SG-1 take care of this one personally. Anything having to do with Ma'Chello was very bad news and if this was one of the old coot's labs then Jack wasn't going to touch anything, especially something that looked like that god damn body swapping device they found in the last lab that belonged to Ma'Chello.

You see, about five or six years ago they had found one of those god forsaken labs and the bastard Ma'Chello used the device to swap bodies with Jack's best friend, Daniel Jackson, and when Teal'c and Jack had gone to retrieve it, they switched bodies and it was the worst experience of Jack's life to have Junior wiggling around in his gut in Teal'c's symbiont pouch. Jack vowed that he would never again find himself in a situation like that again.

As jack looked around, he knew that it was one of Ma'Chello's labs where the old man created weapons to fight the Goa'uld. Sure, Jack was titillated at the prospect of finding a weapon that could help them defeat the snakeheads but he'd be damned if he would let his guard down around these machines again.

"Reynolds, what do we have?" Jack asked as he stepped down the stairs that descended down from the metal ring that was Stargate.

"It looks like one of Ma'Chello's Gould fighting laboratories, Jack." Colonel Albert Reynolds said as he walked up to Jack and saluted. "I knew this would be your jurisdiction once I saw the décor. I decided to let Hammond know so Dr. Jackson and Major Carter could look it over before we touched anything, considering what happened to you all the last time we found one of these labs."

Jack rolled his eyes at the comment. "There isn't one of those body switching devices here, is there?"

"Not that we could see, but I didn't allow my team to explore much farther than the main room." Reynolds said. "I knew General Hammond would want us to be cautious around these devices."

"Alright, head on back to the SGC." Jack ordered. "We'll take it from here."

"Aye, Sir." Reynolds said before signaling to his team. "SG-3, move out!"

Once SG-3 was safely through the gate, Jack heaved a sigh and pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Carter, Daniel. Check out the other rooms of this place, see how big it is. Teal'c you are with me."

"Yes, Sir." Carter said but before they headed off Jack stopped them.

"And Carter." He said, "Don't let Daniel touch anything till you've checked it out."

"I'll do my best, Sir." Sam chuckled.

"O'Neill." Teal'c said as Sam and Daniel ran off to explore the rest of the area. He cocked his eyebrow and nodded towards a room in the back of the main chamber.

Jack groaned. Last time there was a back room, Ma'Chello was hibernating in it. "We're sure the old man is dead, right?"

Teal'c raised his eyebrow again as if to say, of course he is.

Jack sighed again before heading into the back room ahead of Teal'c, P-90 cocked and aimed ahead of him, ready to go if there was an old man back there. Jack made his way into the room and scanned the area before giving Teal'c the signal to follow. There was not much in the room besides a large platform with some sort of device above it.

"Oh, Daniel is going to love this." Jack said, recognizing the clearly of an Ancient design.

Of course, this made Jack extra nervous. He and Ancient devices did not mix well. One time a device made by the Ancients grabbed his head and downloaded all of the Ancient's knowledge into it, which gave him one hell of a headache, not to mention the other side effects he didn't want to get into. Another time, an Ancient device blasted him and Teal'c into a time loop where they experienced the same 16-hour period over and over again. To this day, Jack still refused to eat fruit loops.

Jack grabbed his radio and keyed it up, not noticing that he had crossed onto the platform as he walked. "Daniel, there's this, what I think is an Ancient device in this room Teal'c found. You might want to come take a look at it."

"That's funny because I just found an Ancient control device in the room next to you." Daniel said.

That was when Jack noticed the big window at the far edge of the Room and Sam and Daniel were waving at him and Teal'c.

"Whatever you do, don't turn it on." Jack said on the radio.

"I don't think it is activated." Daniel said. "And even though I was ascended for a short time, I don't have the special gene to turn Ancient devices on."

Jack watched as Daniel leaned on the console and as he did, a forcefield went up around the platform and Jack found himself trapped.

"Fuck." Jack cursed as he smacked the forcefield with his gun, trying in vain to get it to lower. Jack was about to ask Teal'c to shoot the device with his staff weapon when a white light filled the area. The last thing Jack saw before the world went black around her was Daniel trying frantically to undo what he just did. When she woke up, she was going to kill him.

Jack groaned as she came back into consciousness, only to feel the softness of an SGC hospital bed beneath her. She groaned again and Doctor Janet Fraiser came to her side.

"Colonel? How are you feeling?" Janet asked as she shined a light in Jack's eyes.

"Line I got my head sucked, by one of those Ancient head sucker thingies." Jack groaned before frowning. Her voice was different, higher pitched than she was used to. "Which I know didn't happen… but… Hey, what's wrong with my voice."

"Uh, your voice isn't the only thing that has changed, Jack…" Daniel said from his seat next to Jack's bed.

"Oh god, what have the Ancients done to me now?" Jack asked.

"Here." Daniel said as he handed Jack a mirror.

Jack looked in the mirror before frowning. "What the ever-loving fuck?" She exclaimed. Her normally short, reddish-brown hair was now shoulder length and wavy, her face had a more feminine look to it, and he didn't even want to talk about the eyelashes and lips. She didn't want to look down but she had to confirm it. Her once flat chiseled chest was now as voluptuous as Carter's, maybe more so. "The thing made me a god damned woman?!"

"From what I have been able to translate so far, the machine was designed to reassign a person's sex at the biological level." Daniel explained. "It doesn't change who you are at heart, at heart you are still a man."

"Don't give me that at heart, shit." Jack growled. "I have boobs, Daniel! I told you not to mess with that Ancient control device! I don't think that shitty device had that thing where it locks it down to the gene level!"

"All I did was lean on it!" Daniel protested. "What were you doing on the platform in the first place?"

"Checking for cool weapons of course." Jack said, she blew a breath through her now plump lips and up through her bangs that were now falling in front of her face. "I hate you; you know that?"

"No, you don't." Daniel smiled.

"What the hell are you smiling about?" Jack growled.

"Well, you kind of make a cute woman." Daniel smiled. "I see where your girls get it."

"I am not above punching you in the face, Daniel Jackson." Jack growled as she raised her fist up menacingly. "Talk about my daughters like that again and you will find yourself in the morgue. God I am so glad they are both off world right now… Taryn would have a ball."

"Maybe this will help you understand them more." Daniel suggested. "This could be a good thing."

"This is not going to be a thing." Jack yelled. "We are going back to that planet and you, Mr. Ascended, are going to make me, me again!"

"There could be a problem in that." Daniel said.

"What…."

"We tried reversing this back on the planet while you were unconscious." Daniel said. "Sam was able to determine that it was powered by a crystal module, but it appears as if it has been depleted. Sam doesn't know if she will be able to recharge it."

"Why the hell not?" Jack demanded.

"It's unlike any of the power sources we have encountered before." Daniel explained. "Ancient, Goa'uld or otherwise."

"Fine, Call the expert on all things ancient, besides you." Daniel said. "Got to Katal and dial up Thor, I am sure he would be happy to help."

Jack was sure her Asgardian buddy, Thor, would help, if they could get in contact with the Asgard. The Asgard hasn't been very communicative as of late. Jack knew they were busy with the Replicators, but she was sure that Thor would come to her rescue as soon as he found out it was Jack in trouble. The Asgard liked her, even if she did insult their "little gray butts" once before.

"Hammond has already sent SG-11 to contact Thor and Sam went to talk to the Tok'Ra to see if they can help." Daniel explained.

"Did we have to involve the snakes?" Jack complained. "You know how I feel about them."

"Sam is reasonably sure that Jacob is at the Tok'Ra base." Daniel said. "She went to see if her dad or Selmak could help."

"I think that is enough." Fraiser said as she walked back up to them. "I have no idea what physical ordeal the Colonel's body has gone through to switch sexes like this. She…. Sorry rather he… needs rest."

Jack groaned at the switched pronoun before laying back on the bed. At least her kids weren't here to see her like this, they'd never let her live it down after all the grief she gave Taryn when they first started shifting genders.

Jack closed her eyes; the ordeal did seem to have taken a lot out of her. Maybe she would just rest until SG-11 returned with word from Thor.

Katal's Hall of Wisdom was a bust. The Asgard were either not home or didn't care to talk to them. Jack supposed they had used that card one too many times and now the Asgard only answered if there was a big galactic emergency. Which was a bummer for Jack because that meant she had to rely on the unreliable Tok'Ra to help her get back to her manly self.

The Tok'ra had not been very reliable as of late since their base at Rivanna was destroyed almost two years ago. The Tok'ra were scattered and there were only small bases around the galaxy for them to hide. Jack was surprised that Carter knew which one her father was stationed at. The Tok'Ra weren't very sharing with the intel about their operatives. That was part of the reason why she hadn't seen her daughter, Terri, in quite some time. God, she hoped that Terri wouldn't be alerted to his plight.

Jack had almost resigned to his fate when Sam and Jacob walked into the infirmary. She wasn't very optimistic that Jacob could solve this problem. Sure, Carter had to get her brains from somewhere, but Jack always assumed it was from Carter's late mother where the intelligence came from. Selmak on the other hand was supposedly the oldest and wisest of the living Tok'ra, even older than her daughter's symbiont, Aphrodite, by a few hours.

Jacob let out a chuckle when Jack sat up and Jack glared at him.

"I knew what the situation was when Sam explained it, but I never imagined that you would be so…." Jacob trailed off as he tried to hide his laughter.

"Yeah, Yeah, laugh it up…" Jack growled. "Get it out so that you and Selmak can help me."

Jacob bowed his head and when he put it back up his eyes glowed as his symbiont took over. "You brought the power source to the device here, I am correct in assuming?"

"I did, it's in my lab." Sam said.

"Then let us get to work before Colonel O'Neill starts menstruating." Selmak said, but it was not a joking tone.

"Menstruating?" Jack demanded. "Oh, hell no!"

"It is part of being a woman, Sir." Sam said with a slight smile on her lips. "Course you may be old enough to have gone through menopause already."

"Carter…." Jack warned. "Just…. Just go… go try to fix this…"

"Yes…. Ma'am." Carter smiled.

"CARTER!" Jack yelled. "For crying out loud, this is temporary people!"

"Yes, Sir."

It had been hours since Jacob/Selmak and Carter had left to work on the power source and Jack was starting to get restless. She kept pacing the infirmary floor, against the insistence of Doctor Fraiser that she relax. Daniel was trying his best to keep Jack occupied but it wasn't working. Jack felt uncomfortable in a woman's body.

It wasn't right, she wasn't a woman, but she was starting to understand why Taryn didn't feel comfortable being trapped in a body they didn't like. Sure, their Hak'Taur powers let them shift from one gender to the other, but they didn't seem comfortable in either form and that now made Jack feel uncomfortable for her, given the situation she was now in. What was the use in being an advanced human if you couldn't feel comfortable in your own skin. Oh, what she wouldn't give for Taryn's powers now.

It was at that moment that his day got infinitely worse because at that moment, Agent Malcolm Barrett entered the infirmary.

"This can't be good." Daniel said as he looked up when someone new entered the room.

"Ya think?" Jack asked in her usual sarcastic tone, but it sounded different coming out of woman. "At least this one isn't as bad as Maybourne or Simmons, but I still don't trust the motives of the NID. What do you want, Barrett?"

Jack had had bad luck with the National Intelligence Division in the past. At one point they had kidnapped her girls and experimented on them. Taryn had even been Stokholm Syndromed into believing she loved one of the heads of the NID operation. Taryn had never been the same since. Another time they tried to take Teal'c away for "testing." And yet another time one of the heads of the NID stole Prometheus and kidnapped Carter and Jonas. The NID had a bad track record and just because Barrett had proven himself to be trustworthy didn't mean Jack trusted the people behind his orders.

"You, actually." Barrett said. "And that device you found on P4C-974."

"No." Jack said firmly.

"The NID might be able to get it to work a lot faster than Major Carter or the Tok'ra." Barrett said.

"I said no." Jack said. "Give Carter time to figure this out."

"Carter has twenty-four hours, if she doesn't find a solution by then you are to be transported to Area 51 where the NID scientists will take a crack at it. For now, the device is being retrieved by SG-15 and being brought here to better facilitate the work being done on getting it to work."

Jack sighed, SG-15 was the engineering team, if anyone could get that device out of there safely and intact it would be them. Jack didn't like the idea of the NID getting ahold of a device as powerful as that. Who knows what other things it was capable of doing to a person. If it could turn her into a woman… Jack shuddered at the thought.

"A day…." Jack whispered. "That is all you are giving her?"

"That is all I can." Barrett said. "These orders come from the President."

"Damn it." Jack growled as Daniel shook his head. Every time the orders came from the President it went cataclysmically wrong. The president doesn't know jack shit about what was going on in this facility, he had no idea how long things take to correct when something goes wrong in this place, especially when it came to Ancient technology. Last time Jack was affected by Ancient technology it took the Asgard to save him.

"I wanted to warn you before I took my orders to General Hammond." Barrett said. "The 24 hours start when I hand my orders to Hammond."

"Do me a favor and warn Carter before you do that, so she has a heads up." Jack said. "Give her a head start."

"That was my next stop." Barrett assured her.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry, sir, Selmak and I tried everything to recharge the power source to that device." Sam said almost a day later.

"Have you tried hooking up an alternative power source to that thing?" Jack asked. "Like a Naquadah Generator?"

"Tried it." Sam said. "It needs more power than the generator can output."

"So, I am going to be stuck like this forever and subject to experimentation by the NID." Jack sighed.

"Not necessarily." Her daughter, Taryn, said from the door to the infirmary. "What have you gotten yourself into this time, Dad?"

They were still in her field uniform; it looked like Hammond had sent them directly to the Infirmary from the Gateroom. They still had their P-90 strapped to their chest.

"Daniel activated a device and I got turned into a girl." Jack shrugged. "Just another day on the job. Why did Hammond recall you? You were supposed to be on Sumeria for weeks."

"He wanted me to see you before the NID shipped you off." Taryn said.

"Then where is your sister?" Jack asked.

"On a Mission in Ba'al's service." Selmak spoke up from his spot in the corner. "There is no way to recall her."

"It doesn't matter, anyways." Taryn said. "You're not being shipped off."

"Didn't Hammond explain the situation to you?" Daniel asked. "We can't reactivate the device."

"There is more than one way to switch a person's gender." Taryn said as she walked over to her Dad and set her P-90 on the adjacent bed.

"What are you talking about, sweetie?" Jack asked as she looked over at her daughter.

"I once accidently changed the gender of a Jaffa in Kronos's service when he grabbed me as I was changing genders." Taryn explained. "I think I can do it again."

"You think?" Jack raised a delicate red-brown eyebrow.

"Just trust me for once." Taryn sighed. "Take my hand."

Jack took a deep breath before taking hold of Taryn's hand gently.

Jack felt a curious sensation go through her body, it was as if every molecule in her body was changing at once and when he opened his eyes, he was back the way he was supposed to be, and his son was standing next to him smiling at him.

"I love you, kiddo." Jack said as he hugged his son. "I'm sorry I have been so hard on you about this switching genders thing."

"It's not a problem, Dad." They said as they held onto their father. "I am glad I could help."

"I am glad you are back to your old self, Jack." Hammond said as Jack sat in his office. "The paperwork on this incident is going to be enormous though."

"I'm willing to help with that, Sir." Jack said. "What's going to happen with the device that did this?" He asked.

"It's going to be placed in Area 51, under lock and key." Hammond said. "No one is going to go near it. I don't know what that device is capable of, but I am sure it is not anything good."

"You have no idea how good that makes me feel, Sir." Jack said. "I don't want to go through that again. Even though I gained a better understanding of what Taryn goes through every day, I am pretty sure I would not like to go through it again anytime soon."

"I can understand that." Hammond said. "Spend the rest of the week off until Taryn goes back to Sumeria. You earned it."

"Thank you, Sir."