It all happened very very unexpectedly.

Maybe he should have connected the clues, with never seeing his mother's new partners after his father left, with Blinky always having something to tell him, but lacking time and will to do so, with trolls in the Trollmarket hissing out 'another fleshbag'... But he didn't.

So picture that, Jim was just standing there, in the hall, still in the armour because he just came home, when he heard the front door open, so he deactivated the amulet and was about to put it in his pocket when his mother's tired eyes landed on it and she gasped, going ramrod straight, before pointing at it with urgency.

"Uh… Hi mom?" he said quietly, seeing as she hasn't moved from her spot in the doorframe for several seconds. And apparently breaking the silence was a mistake, because she took a big breath and squeaked out:

"YOU'RE A TROLLHUNTER!?"

It took Jim another several seconds to reboot his brain because sweet baby jesus what—

"HOW DID YOU KNOW!?"

"I—" she took another deep breath and closed the door behind herself, and squeaked out again. "I— I dated Kanjigar for a while."

"YOU WHAT!?"

"WHY ARE WE SCREAMING?"

"BECAUSE YOU APPARENTLY DATED A TROLL!"

"So let me get this straight—" They were sitting over chamomile and lemon balm tea, known for their calming tendencies. That was exactly what Jim needed at that moment. "You… have been at the Trollmarket before."

"Yes, I stumbled into it by accident, following some more human-looking troll that I didn't recognize as inhuman in the night… I was a curious and unreasonably brave teenager." She was smiling lightly, reminiscing about happy memories full of magic and trolls and troll affairs because why not? A totally normal thing to have in your memory, totally not weird.

"And you… met Kanjigar there."

"Yep, he caught me when I was screaming bloody murder, trying to escape from some trolls who were chasing me as an intruder." The smile turned blissful, and Jim did not want to imagine the implications. He still did, of course, because his brain was a traitor and was currently picturing his mother making out with a piece of rock twice her height.

"So… why didn't they wipe your memories?" surely Vendel had a rock for that. Vendel seemed to have a rock for everything.

His mother appeared to be deep in her thoughts before she answered with a shake of her head. "No idea, I think it just didn't cross their minds, and then it was too awkward to do that."

"So… you…" Jim's throat clogged up. How was he even supposed to ask that?

"I dated Kanjigar shortly, for about six months. Then he realized the age difference between us, even the relative one, and we decided to break it up peacefully." Jim did not want to hear that. Holy shit.

"...Doesn't he have a wife, who's still very much alive?" Draal rarely mentioned his mother… for various reasons, but he did mention she's still there.

"And in Europe. She left him!"

"He left her!"

"Why are we arguing over dead troll's married life?" Good question.

"Because you dated him!" he couldn't help the maniac edge in his voice. The whole situation was just ridiculous.

"We're running in circles," his mother sighed, and stood up with her mug. Jim followed her with his eyes cautiously, as she opened a cabinet, took out a bottle of whiskey, and poured some into her tea. "Avoiding the subject of whether or not Kanjigar was cheating on his wife or not with me, do you have any other questions?"

Jim pondered over this for a while. Did he? Did he?

"Of course, I do! How did you survive 6 months of dating a troll!?"

She just laughed, wheezing almost, before she took a sip of the spiked tea to calm down.

"Oh you have no idea…"

"...and well, then there was this Teldur troll, that didn't work out very well, I dumped him after two weeks…" His mother was probably drunk at this point. He kinda wished he was of age so he could do that too. This 'Teldur' was the fourth troll she has dated. "And there was this lovely stalking—Nena," A stalking? REALLY? "I loved flying with her, but she pretty quickly figured out that she wasn't really interested in any relationships…" So there are queer trolls, who would have guessed. "...and there was Begun, he figured out he was gay... I really don't have luck with people, I mean, trolls, do I?" She was resting her head on the arms, looking longingly at the empty space on the side.

"Considering my father? You don't really have luck with people either." She snorted at that, nodding her head lightly.

"I mean, at least there's Walter, right?" she mumbled and Jim felt ice crawl up his back. Oh. Oh. Should he just… tell her? "Jim? You're weirdly silent…"

"Well about that—"

"Don't tell me he's a changeling," she sounded almost pleading, and he smiled at her strained.

"Well…"

"Goddammit."