Disclaimer: The characters of Wicked are not my creation.
AN. This story has been in my WIP list for many years, and I've finally gotten around to writing it. It was inspired by the song 'Something Good' from The Sound of Music during a rewatch and it struck me how perfectly it was for Fiyeraba. When I sat down to outline it, it became this It's a Wonderful Life- type AU.
Thank you to Kelly, Carsie and Caity, all of whom helped me with various parts of the planning.
And I finished just in time for Wicked to officially open back in Australia! I am so excited to get to see this show again, and with a brand new cast.
Nothing Comes From Nothing
Chapter 1
Eight hours, fifty-three minutes and… some twenty-odd seconds until the wedding.
Elphaba knew she should be happy- she was happy- and it wasn't like this wasn't her choice. She and Fiyero had discussed the idea of marriage for months before he'd proposed and although she'd initially come around to the idea because it was so important to him; by the time he'd actually proposed, Elphaba had almost forgotten that her initial stance on the matter had been "meh" (not a literal quote, but that was how Fiyero always described it).
So why was she wandering the streets of Piscoe Hills a little after two am, when she should have been sleeping soundly? Why was her most coherent thought about how mad Glinda would be at her for not getting a full night's rest before her wedding day; in a world where Elphaba hadn't become a fugitive, faked her death, and still managed to get to a place where she could be marrying Fiyero and have Glinda as her best friend?
Why, even now, at eight hours and fifty-two minutes before her wedding, was Elphaba waiting for the other shoe to drop? For Fiyero to realise that he'd made a mistake; for someone from Oz to stumble across them; for an earthquake, flood or volcanic eruption to spontaneously occur as a cosmic sign from the universe that this was a bad idea? That Elphaba didn't deserve this.
This was a sensation that had been slowly growing from the moment they'd made their first wedding decision; and as much as she tried, Elphaba couldn't shake it.
"It's perfectly normal to be nervous," Elphaba said to herself in a whisper, staring up at the sky. "Right?"
Shockingly, the sky didn't answer.
She'd tried to go to sleep at a decent hour- had tried every trick to make herself settle; a hot bath, camomile tea, a book she'd been excited to read. But she'd read the same paragraph ten times and taken in none of it. Instead, she'd found herself just staring at where her wedding dress had been hung on the closet door from the moment that Fiyero had left the house that evening.
At midnight she'd found herself cleaning the whole house, and when there was nothing else to clean; she took to the streets. She'd left with no real destination in mind, but wasn't really surprised to find herself suddenly near the church without any real memory of getting there. In the dark, the small white building looked almost ghostly.
Elphaba had only been inside a couple of times in the two years since they'd moved to town- she may be an atheist, but Fiyero had been raised Lurlinist and had theorised that attending a few services would help them meet people in town. And as they settled more into town, there were the usual life events to attend- weddings, christenings and funerals. It was a lovely little building; and Elphaba knew that the decorating had already been started, according to the plans she and Fiyero had agreed on: white drapes on the ends of the pews lining the aisle; white taper candles at the altar; and in a few hours, fresh small bouquets of yellow roses and baby breath would be added- the same as Elphaba's bridal bouquet. She faltered at the gateway, one hand gently brushing the gate before she turned and walked away resolutely.
Elphaba's favourite spot in town was a little park off the village green that hosted a little wooden bridge that swept over a pond. There was something about it that reminded her of the campus at Shiz; just enough to bring her comfort without it hurting. This had been the place that sold Elphaba and Fiyero on their decision of where in Fliaan to settle; and it had been the spot where Fiyero had proposed.
At this hour, it was deserted. Even the frogs, dragonflies and ducks that lived here normally were silent. It was a little unnerving, and Elphaba wasn't sure if she welcomed the silence or not right now. Elphaba leaned against the railing staring into the dark depths of the pond, feeling nauseous; although that may have been because she hadn't been able to stomach eating dinner, not necessarily because of nerves.
She had no doubt that Fiyero had eaten a full meal and was fast asleep right now. He'd insisted they fulfil the tradition of spending the night before the wedding apart; and was spending the night at the home of his boss, Roparzh and his wife Afina. They had known them since they'd moved to town, and when Fiyero had become human again, it had been Roparzh who had immediately offered Fiyero a way to gain employment. Since then, Fiyero's whole workforce had taken them both in as family.
Mrs Vale, the reverend's wife had also offered to host Fiyero for the night, and had been rather put out by his refusal. She was a short, motherly woman who seemed to think Fiyero was constantly starving and in dire need of a three-course meal ever since he turned human again. Elphaba liked her well enough, but she was resistant to her attempts to mother her too- she'd gone twenty-three years without being mothered, thank you very much, and she wasn't looking for one now.
Although Elphaba sometimes got the feeling that Mrs Vale didn't approve of her- didn't think she was good enough for Fiyero. But to her credit, her reasons seemed nothing to do with the fact that Elphaba was green. Moreover, she seemed to be almost disturbed by Elphaba's lack of need for social interaction; and she definitely hadn't been won over when she'd asked Elphaba if she and Fiyero planned to have children and Elphaba had replied "well, statistically, the odds of our contraception eventually failing would suggest it's somewhat likely."
The Vales had nine children of their own, plus nineteen grandchildren (and counting), including one single daughter she was always gushing about in a way that made Elphaba sure she was trying to push Fiyero towards her. She would have a field day if Elphaba called off the wedding.
Elphaba straightened with a jolt, blinking at the water. Where had that thought come from? There was no question of calling of the wedding… was there?
Groaning quietly, Elphaba buried her face in her hands, scrubbing at her eyes. "You need to sleep," she muttered to herself. "You're losing your mind, Elphaba."
Calling off the wedding was not an option. It wasn't what she wanted at all. She was just nervous, which was perfectly normal. She loved Fiyero- more than anything. She loved the life, the home they had built together in the past two years; and Elphaba had never thought she would ever be this happy… but that was the thing, wasn't it?
She'd never thought she'd be this happy.
And part of Elphaba wasn't sure that she deserved it.
How could she? When every wedding plan she and Fiyero had made had been plagued by the ghosts of those they had lost or left behind.
Fiyero had requested a Lurlinist ceremony, in honour of his parents; because if they'd been in Oz, that was what royal custom dictated. Elphaba had agreed without hesitation, but could almost feel Nessa's disapproval from beyond the grave. Elphaba had shopped for her wedding dress and heard Glinda's voice in her head with each one she tried on, critiquing them and lamenting the lack of lace or sparkle in Elphaba's selections. Alongside a bitter reminder that it had been Glinda who had first intended to marry Fiyero, long before the title of "the Wicked Witch of the West" was even a thought.
They weren't having a large wedding, or anything particularly lavish. It was mostly Fiyero's teammates and their families; and a couple of Elphaba's colleagues and some regulars she'd come to know in her work at the library. All in all, there were no more than thirty guests. Wedding planning hadn't been the tortuous job everyone had warned Elphaba it was from the moment their engagement became known. But every choice was tainted with ghosts, each reminding Elphaba of one of her failures. Each a reason why she didn't deserve such happiness. In fact, Elphaba couldn't help but think sometimes that it would have been better for everyone if she'd never been born at all.
They were words she never actually dared to ever speak aloud, but she felt them hanging over her head, threatening to drag her to the bottom of the pond.
As she stared into the depths of the water, a light in the reflection made her do a double take, blinking up between the water and sky in bemusement. There was a definite green glow slowly brightening up the horizon, and Elphaba stared up at it with a bewildered frown.
The Boreal lights were famous in Fliaan and one of Elphaba's favourite things about living here; but this was the wrong time of year for them to appear. But it was also far too early for dawn to be forthcoming, and Elphaba had never seen a green dawn before. Yet it was decidedly a green light, steadily growing brighter the longer Elphaba stared at it.
Elphaba stumbled back from the bridge's railing, her eyes widening in horror. The only other option she could think of to explain the lights was that she had caused them. And it had been years since she had lost control of her magic, and this… she couldn't explain this. Not in a way that would make people believe it.
"You have power, child. But not that much."
Elphaba spun around with her heart in her throat, almost tripping over her skirts of her dress. There, standing behind her on the bridge was a woman who simultaneously appeared younger than Elphaba and older; her long hair, so blonde it appeared almost white, braided and draped over one shoulder. She was dressed in golden robes and she seemed tinged in the same green glow that lit up the night sky. For a moment Elphaba got a sense of how people reacted to her upon first sight.
"Who- who are you?" she asked hoarsely, unsure of how afraid she should be right now. Strange women appearing from thin air didn't seem to herald a good omen, she was sure.
The woman smiled, dipping her head. "My name is Klehr. I am- well, I believe the word that you humans typically use is… your guardian angel?"
Elphaba scoffed derisively, scepticism triumphing over fear. She couldn't help herself. The woman- Klehr, apparently- merely tilted her head and smiled at Elphaba kindly.
"Child?"
"I'm not a child, I'm twenty-six years old," Elphaba snapped, bristling.
Klehr chuckled. "Forgive me. Age is relative to one such as me."
"To one such as you," Elphaba repeated flatly.
"Angels," Klehr clarified needlessly.
Elphaba drew herself back to her full height, her jaw tightening as she stared the woman down. "If you're my guardian angel, wouldn't that suggest that your job is to guard me? Protect me?"
She shook her head stubbornly, pressing her lips together tightly. "And if that's the case, where have you been my whole damn life? Where were you four years ago? Or in the two years I spent running? And why are you here now?"
All the moments of her childhood where she'd been ignored or pushed aside while Frex doted on Nessa; all the times she'd been insulted, mocked or sneered at because of her skin; all the nights on the run when she'd been too afraid to sleep in case she was found or when she'd been sick, injured or starving. Did none of that warrant protection?
Elphaba had a sudden flash of memory to all the times Nessa had asked her as a child to read her Cinderella, her favourite fairy tale. Elphaba had started outright refusing from the time she was eight, when she really began to question why someone had only come to Cinderella's aid when there was a chance for Cinderella to conveniently meet a handsome prince and not when she actually needed help at any time before that. When she began to truly understand that no one was coming to help her; and that maybe Nessa had her, but she didn't have Nessa.
And now, after everything she'd been through, now was when some woman claiming to be her guardian angel decided to turn up? No. If ever Elphaba was going to believe in such things as guardian angels, she was going to need more than that.
"Why should I even believe you?" Elphaba demanded. "Where's the proof that you are who you say you are?"
Klehr's eyes softened as she looked to Elphaba, and she seemed to suddenly have extra lines around her eyes, which combined with her hair, gave her the appearance of a kindly grandmother. Elphaba instinctively took another step back from her, eyeing her warily. She'd had quite enough experience with women trying to present themselves as a kindly older woman just looking out for her best interests who then royally screwed her over, thank you very much.
"What proof are you looking for, more than what I am?" Klehr asked gently, extending her arms outwards, the green lights still painting her skin.
Elphaba wrinkled her nose, because yeah, that seemed like it should be enough. But it had been years since Elphaba was willing to trust her own judgement. Another thing to thank the Wizard and Morrible for.
"Okay, fine," she said reluctantly, folding her arms over her chest. "Let's assume that guardian angels exist and that you're mine. That still doesn't explain what you're doing here now."
"I'm trying to keep you from making a mistake, Elphaba," Klehr said gently.
Her anger turned to ice in an instant. Fear trickled down Elphaba's spine, and despite the summer heat that persisted even at this hour, she shivered. "M-Marrying Fiyero is a mistake?"
"Talking yourself out of happiness is a mistake," Klehr corrected her gently. "How, after all this time, can you doubt that he loves you?"
Elphaba snorted, turning away from her and running a hand through her hair. "See, if you were really my guardian angel, you'd know perfectly well why I can doubt that," she said, turning back to Klehr. "Or were you too busy not doing your job to notice the twenty months that he spent living as a Scarecrow because of me?"
Klehr opened her mouth, but Elphaba cut her off. "Fiyero left everything for me," she said, and to her mortification, her voice cracked.
"He left his home, his family; he gave up his freedom for me. And I- I can't even commit to marrying him without doubting everything," she confessed, tears stinging at her eyes. "I'm supposed to marry him in... eight hours and thirty-six minutes. How the hell am I supposed to stand up there and swear 'until death do us part' knowing that this- this is the best I can offer him? That I don't trust what we have won't be taken away from me?"
Klehr stared at Elphaba for a long moment and then turned to sit on a bench that Elphaba knew for a fact had never been on the bridge until that moment. She gestured to the spot next to her, and Elphaba faltered before she hesitantly stepped over to join her. She sank down onto the bench, which felt real and solid, but Elphaba couldn't help but sit on it gingerly lest it disappear from beneath her. What an apt metaphor for her life right now.
The longer she sat there though, the more solid the bench felt until Elphaba gave into the tired ache seeping from her bones, leaning back against the railing of the bridge. Which naturally, was when Klehr broke the silence between them.
"Do you truly believe that the world would have been better for you not being born?"
Elphaba's head whipped to stare at Klehr. She had definitely not said that aloud- at least, not in about three years.
"Guardian angel," Klehr reminded her with a knowing smile. "I know all your thoughts, Elphaba."
"You have my condolences," Elphaba murmured, tilting her head back to look up at the sky.
Klehr chuckled. The green lights were still in the sky, but dimmer now.
"Maybe not the world," Elphaba said finally, breaking the silence. "I don't think I've done anything to impact the world on any great scale. But my family? Boq? Glinda? You can't tell me they wouldn't be better off without me."
"And Fiyero?"
Elphaba flinched slightly. "Just because I managed to find a way to make him human again doesn't make up for everything else."
"He made a choice, if I understood correctly," Klehr said quietly. "I'm sure Fiyero doesn't regret it. How does this equate to you being undeserving of happiness or love?"
Elphaba shook her head and looked away, her lips pressed tightly. She could explain it no more than she could explain why two plus two was four; or why grass was green. It just simply was.
"I'm curious. You never gave your father's opinions much credence in any other matter; why have you given him so much power over you in this regard?"
"Are you my guardian angel or my therapist?" Elphaba asked dryly. Although she had to admit that it was a fair question.
So, she just ignored it instead of admitting that she didn't have an answer. "I don't want to be this way, you know," she said instead. "I'm sure Fiyero's tired of trying to convince me that I deserve to be happy. But I can't see how any moment in my life merits a world where I get to be his wife. This isn't some fairy tale- in the real world, people like me don't get 'happily ever afters'."
Saying it aloud, Elphaba felt rather ill.
"People like you?"
Elphaba spread her hands silently. What more explanation was needed?
"Nothing comes from nothing, Elphaba," Klehr said pityingly. "You truly don't see the ways in which the people around you are better for it?"
"My whole family is dead; my best friend thinks that I'm dead; and my fiancé used to be a Scarecrow and again- gave up everything for me. How is any of that being better because of me?" Elphaba asked flatly.
Klehr smiled, getting up from the bench and turning to face Elphaba, extending a hand towards her. "Let's see, shall we?"
Elphaba arched an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"Let's visit a world in which you were never born, and see if it's truly better," Klehr said calmly.
Elphaba eyed her outstretched hand warily. It was one thing to be sure that everyone would be better without her; the offer of having that confirmed was quite another. How could she marry Fiyero (in eight hours, thirteen minutes)after having seen a world where he was better off?
"Can't you just take my word for it?" she asked hopefully.
Klehr laughed, and the green lights seemed to flash brighter for a moment. "I promise you, Elphaba, it's quite safe."
Her safety wasn't exactly Elphaba's concern, but sure. Elphaba got to her feet but hesitated, eyeing Klehr's offered hand. A voice in her brain somewhere was screaming at her that this was a terrible idea; pointing out that she still really only had Klehr's word about who she was and had no way of trusting the magic she wielded. But yet Elphaba suspected she was telling the truth- however crazy that truth sounded.
Regardless, it was rather clear that as much as it was phrased that way; it wasn't actually a suggestion and refusing the offer wasn't an option. So even though her stomach was squirming in protest, Elphaba reluctantly reached out and took Klehr's hand.
The green lights brightened again, flashing so brightly that Elphaba reflexively closed her eyes against the glare. She tightened her grip on Klehr's hand as the ground suddenly fell away beneath her feet, drawing a sharp gasp from her as she scrambled to recover her footing. The world turned to darkness around her, and then suddenly she found solid ground beneath her once more and Klehr released her hand.
Elphaba's stomach clenched as she stood extremely still and waited for her centre of gravity to re-adjust. She could feel the warmth of sunlight on her skin, and her ears were filled with the sounds of voices. No one sounded surprised or alarmed by their sudden appearance, which was somewhat reassuring. As her stomach settled, Elphaba took a deep breath to steady herself, and opened her eyes.
AN. Who do we think we'll see first? Who has seen It's a Wonderful Life?