Spike watched as Raph returned, along with his lazy good for nothing brothers … and a new guy? "I know New York has a lot of abandoned subway tunnels, but having a TV in here? You'd think someone would notice the running electricity."
"I know how to redirect it undetected." The egghead brother responded. "It's much easier to hack into satellite networks than you'd think."
"I don't know if that says more about you or less about our government." The man in red spandex commented, before turning to Spike. "... Am I the only one noticing how weird it is for turtles to have a pet turtle?" So the spandex guy was the first on the kill list, understood.
"He's a better conversationalist than you for starters. Isn't that right Spike?" Raph picked him up and handed him his leaf. He loved the headpats but wished he'd pick a better name for him, spike just sounded so demeaning and not as threatening as he wanted it to be.
"Ouch, I'm hurt. Wounded." The shitstain swayed dramatically. "Won't someone tell me my jokes are funny?" The door opened, as Master Splinter walked through the door. "... So you weren't kidding about the rat sensei." He looked back and forth. "I'm guessing you four are adopted."
"What gave it away? The eye color or the stubby thumbs?" The blue dork rolled his eyes, before looking at the old rat nervously. "Hey Sensei…"
"I take it that with the guest in our secret and hidden home that this was a decision that you made as the leader." Splinter spoke with that even tone that everyone was always afraid of for some reason.
"All Leo sir." Raph nodded quickly. Good to see something go right, he really should have been made leader instead of that tv geek.
"Well, yeah, I did…" The dork began nervously responding. "But the kidnappers are these alien robots! Show him Spidey."
"Yep." The Spandex bastard pulled on some sort of white string they were dragging behind them, revealing some sort of metal body.
Splinter glanced at the machine with mild surprise, before turning back. "I understand making an ally against a dangerous foe." The man nodded. "But bringing him into the secret lair on the first day you met him is a step too far!"
"See, I told you!" Raph called out.
"Come on Master Splinter, it's alright, he's a totally chill dude." The stupid one said causlly. "He knows how to kick butt and he has funny lines!"
"Not to mention, no offense,mister rat man, I'm sure you taught them well, they have zero clue about how to move on the surface." The spandex bastard added flippantly. "For ninjas, even at night, they stick out like sore thumbs." Well the masks were a little obvious. "Heck, the guy in the orange mask took pizza from a delivery man."
"DUDE!" The stupid one shouted. "I thought we were cool!"
"I'm just being honest here, trying not to get my ass handed to me by the tall rat-master." The spandex asshole replied before turning back to Splinter. "Point is that your…turtles, are trying to help save people, and when lives are one the line, then we can't leave anything to chance, so whether you like it or not, I'm here and I'm here to help them."
Splinter was silent for a moment, simply gazing at the group. "Very well … but if you endanger my sons in any way, shape, or form." The man sent a glare that caused Spike's fight or flight instincts to act up. "Then you will pay." He threatened, before walking out.
"Huh, honestly not the worst first impression I've ever had with people." The spandex bastard said. "Usually it's 'ahh, giant spider', or 'bother someone else, you pajama wearing freak'. Honestly a nice change of pace."
"Riiiight." The nerd nodded. "So, now that that's out of the way, how are we going to break through a heavily fortified base?"
"Well we have Snake's van right?" The dork asked. "Donnie, can you hook it up to drive itself?"
"Pfft, that's as easy as building my own computer from a broken microwave and a blender. I can set that up in easily under an hour." The nerd said with a cocky smirk.
"Then that's our diversion. We have it drive up to the front, fill it with explosives, draw everyone away from the back, where we sneak in." The dork paused, turning to the spandex bastard. "How do you normally break into places?"
"Vents most of the time, but we'd have to be careful. I don't know if your shells will fit."
"Are you calling me fat?" They all turned to the stupid one, who was slapped by the nerd.
"This is going to be a long night, isn't it?" The Spandex bastard asked out loud.
"You mean it wasn't already?" Raph responded with a groan as he continued to feed Spike. "You see what I have to deal with all day Spike? I'm the only sane one in this bundle of insanity."
"Creee." Spike tried to assure his owner.
"Aww, he's like a tootsie pop. Hard on the outside, with a soft gooey center." The bastard snarked.
"Even hard shell-cases like him are just really big softies on the inside." The stupid one added. "Gives you warm fuzzies all over."
"How about I give you bruises all over your faces?!" Raph retaliated, jumping at the two morons.
"You'd have to catch me first, you little green mean machine!" The spandex bastard jumped on the ceiling and ran while the stupid one fled
"Wait, what do you use to stick to the ceiling?" The nerd asked.
"Oh I do this naturally."
"You can't make webs but you can stick to walls? You're very inconsistent with your brand." The dork pointed out.
"Hey, I'd ask the spider that bit me, but it's already dead, so I'll work with what I got."
"Oh, what if we find the spider that bit you and ate it for super powe-" The stupid one was tackled before he could finish his dumbass statement. It was a miracle that Raph hadn't already killed them yet, Spike would've done it ages ago.
Snake tapped his foot impatiently as he stood by the front. "Come on … where are you, you turtle freaks." He heard their plan, those dumb freaks. He would totally manage to take them down, and get even more cash from these suits.
Then again he was being reminded why he never hung out with them. "The one known as Snake is certain that the ones that are interlopers are coming to interlope the place of Kraang where Kraang wishes to be in the area of?"
Their damn repetitive speech. He didn't know if these people were brothers, cousins, or clones with some sort of secret text inside, but it was annoying as hell. "Yes, I'm certain they're going to come."
"Kraang, the ones that are said to be interloping in the place Kraang wishes to not be interloped are seen by Kraang?"
"Kraang does not see the interlopers that wish to interlope in the place of Kraang. Perhaps Kraang knows of where the interlopers that wish to interlope in the place of Kraang where are? Kraang, do you know where the interlopers that wish to interlop in the place of Kraang are?"
"Krang doesn't not see the ones Kraang has told Kraang of those that wish to interlope in the place that Kraang has set Kraang it. Perhaps I shall talk with Kraang to see if Kraang can locate the location of the interloperes that wish to interlope in the business of Kraang.
These guys had enough technology for flat out lasers, but never learned how to speak proper English? How did it come to this? Maybe it was because he had to deal with that spider freak. Not to mention there were now four turtle freaks coming around. "It's Spider-Man and a couple of turtles! Just call them Spider-man and the Turtles!"
The man stared at him for a moment. "Notify Kraang that the ones who are interlopers are now to be the referred to as the ones known as the turtles and the one known as the man of Spiders. For these are the identities of the ones known as the interlopers."
"Kraang has been notified that the ones who are attempting to interloper in the affairs of Kraang are to be referred to as the ones known as the Turtles and the one known as the Man of Spiders. Kraang shall remember the ones known as the Turtles and the one known as the Man of Spider that these are the ones interloping in the affairs of Kraang and thus shall make sure the ones known as the turtles and the one's known as the Man of Spiders…" He just made it ten times worse, didn't he?
When did it become so hard for a criminal to make a dishonest buck these days? Just a good old fashioned back alley deal, not even the public bank robbery for crying out loud! It sickened him what this world was-
He and the Kraang stopped talking, his van quickly approaching. "That's it, that's them!" He shouted. "The turtles are hiding in the van!"
"The interlopers known as the turtles are in the van in which the origin belongs to the ally known as Snake, but the ally known as Snake also talked about another interloper known as the man of.."
"JUST SHOOT THE FREAKING VAN!" Snake wasted no time firing his own blaster. He may have had three more payments on the thing, but seeing fried turtle would make it all worth…aslo getting these guys to shut the fuck up was a big bonus too.
They followed his lead, firing in at the vehicle as it continued running, now sparking as the wheel popped. "That which is known as the freaking van has not decelerated and is continuing towards the place of Kraang's interest."
"Kraang suggests the tactic that which is known as moving out of the way of the van which is continuing towards the place of Kraang's interest." Aka, they needed to freaking MOVE IT.
He did so accordingly as the van came closer and closer. Looks like they were planning on ramming it through the wall. Hah, idiots, it was five feet of cement. They were going to become burnt pancakes the moment the car crashed.
kabooom
And crashed it did, a fiery explosion erupting from the wall, sending him into the decayed and weed filled section of the area on the side of the road. A little bumpy, but it got rid of the biggest pests he's dealt with in a whi-
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" He suddenly felf every nerve in his body feel like it was on fire. He looked up, a slimy glowing ooze was spread all over his back, the burning sensation twisting into his brain. No…no! "Somebody help! Get this stuff off of me!" He rolled into the dead plants, only spreading more and more of that glowing ooze over his body.
His skin was melting, his flesh was melting, his bones were melting, shifting and changing with this force that bends his body to its whims. Then he … grew. He began growing and absorbing the air around him. Breathing felt easier in this dead zone, it fueled him to grow and collect the world around him. His body was harder than wood, his heart pulsing with life.
Then it stopped, a familiar growling in his new body. "Hunger … need … food …" No, that wasn't right. He had no more stomach. "Need …sustenance … nutrients." His roots craved it. They craved the ability to feed and grow, to plant and to spread.
Good news, there were vents. Better news for Leo, they actually managed to fit! "Roomiest air vent i've ever seen." Spidey joked as they crawled. "I'm both flattered they have an entrance like this, and concerned about why they need this much ventilation."
"You can complain to the architect after we get those two out of here." Donnie responded, looking in all at the circuitry all around them. "Have to say, everything here is so intricate. They're using metal alloys I don't even think exist on this planet!"
"I know I joked about chest bursters, but do you really think we're dealing with alien brains?" Spidey asked. "You'd think the Fantastic Four would get involved if that was the case."
"Fantastic who now?" Leo asked with confusion.
"They're this group of scientists and explorers looking into the unexplained and unknown." Spidey explained. "Half the stuff they talk about sounds like science fiction, so no one's taken them seriously….though given what we've seen today, it looks more like science fact now."
"Oh yeah, I've read about them." Donnie smiled cheerfully. "Reed Richards, owner of the Baxter Foundation, his research on unstable molecules was incredibly fascinating."
"The ability to shift based on stimuli has numerous capabilities. We could create cranes that can reach higher than modern day vehicles. Or produce an electromagnetic shield to help fortify bomb shelters." Spidey responded gladly. "Can't wait for them to actually head into space, the stuff they could tell about cosmic rays…"
"Great, annoying, stupid banter, and a nerd." Raph groaned. "You just get more and more likable with each passing minute."
"What can I say, it's a gift." The man bowed as well as he could in the vent. "Hey Mikey, you've been quiet, what's up?"
"Just thinking about something." The turtle muttered. "Did we remember to take the mutagen out of the van?"
"Of course we…" Donnie paused. "I…I don't remember. I'm pretty sure we did…"
"We definitely did, it was …" Spidey paused. "We did it right after we …"
"Raph did, right, when he threatened Snake?" Leo pointed out. "It's back in the lair, right?"
"Maybe….if I didn't set it down before then…" Raph looked just as confused as the rest of them and face palmed. "What does it say about us when Mikey's the one that remembers something important before anyone else?"
"That the mind of the confused works in confusing ways." Spidey said, before stopping. "Alright, I've got an opening, two guys patrolling. Let's just gently move this grate-and it's bolted, of course they can bolt their vents without learning proper english."
"I've got it." They all shifted to let Donnie near the vent, as he pulled out a small blow torch. "Never leave home without my tools."
"Yeah, yeah, thank you for being a big nerd, now could you hurry it up?" Raph complained, squeezing a round. "The last thing I need is my face this close to Mikey's butt."
"What, you mean you weren't looking in a mirror?" Spidey continued his death wish by pissing off Raph. "I thought the resemblance was uncanny."
"One of these days, I am going to destroy you, and you'll never see it coming." The turtle growled.
"Aww, I'm glad you're keeping the spark alive pal."
"Are you really this suicidal?" Leo asked their masked….well, guess he could use the word friend.
"I spend my free time swinging about fifty to seventy feet off the air fighting bad guys with guns with nothing but my bare hands half the time, you tell me." Well that did seem like a terrible thing to do, couldn't imagine someone just waking up one day and-
"Done." Donnie moved the vent inside. "Coast is still clear, everyone down."
With that thought train derailed for the moment, everyone hopped out of the vent and into a whole hallway with giant purple circuits all over. "Definitely feels like something out of a Space Heroes episode." Leo nodded, having his katana ready in hand. "Do we have a lead on where to go?"
"The power circuits all lead in this direction, which means they're powering something important." Spidey answered as he walked ahead. "And if this is a prison, then that must mean what's powering the jail cells.
"Is that really what you're going with?" Raph asked skeptically.
"Well it's either that, or a surveillance room full of guards for you to stab." Donnie responded.
"You heard the brainiacs, follow the wires." Raph immediately changed his tune.
"So violence is the best way to manipulate him?" Spidey asked as they walked.
"Pretty much, mainly anything against Mikey, though you've been slowly crawling your way up the totem pole, so congratulations." Leo laughed.
"Nice, first spot at number one." They snarked.
As they walked, they eventually came across a series of doors. "Oh, the prisoners!" Mikey exclaimed. "Let's start a jailbreak." He ran up to one. "Aww, it's empty."
Curious, Leo checked a few of them as well. "They all are … you think they're moving them somewhere else?"
"Well Snake did come ahead and warn them about us …" Spidey looked around. "Let's hope they didn't move them all just..AHA!" He shouted, pointing to one cell door. "It's the girl and her dad!"
"And you're…the spandex guy and giant turtles….why does that sentence get less weird the more I say it?" The girl responded.
"My precious!" The guys all sent looks at Donnie as he rushed over. "Alright, the lock is complex, but I should be able to mess with these wires and create a feedback loop." The purple turtle began messing around with the electronics.
"So…I take it it's been an unusual night?" Spidey asked.
"Gee, I don't know, I got kidnapped by alien robots and the people trying to save me are dressed like or are giant animals, so you tell me." The girl answered back sarcastically.
"Oh, snarky. You'll do just fine when we bust you out of here." Spidey joked as he looked around the halls. "Still no Kraang, so we have time. Raph, you wanna go stand on lookout? You'll be the first to punch something."
"You make a good point. I will still destroy you eventually." Raph actually complied
"You're getting good at this." Leo nodded.
"I'm known to be flexible in tight situations." The masked man smirked. "So you and your brother's plan on doing this hero thing full time?"
"We just got access to freedom for the first time in fifteen years. We're not going to let some alien robots take it away." Leo twirled his blade. "So in the name of justice, we will run at all villainy, and strike it down."
"Is that from space heroes?" Could it really be …
"You're a fan?" Leo asked with excitement.
"Nah, never been one for the sixties. My uncle was a huge fan though." … He was starting to see what Raph had against this guy.
"And done!" Donnie exclaimed as the door opened. "Come on."
"Thanks….giant turtle people…and Spider-guy." The girl said awkwardly.
"Oh…ah the name's Donnetello." His nerdy brother blushed. Oh boy.
"Names April."
"April…such a pretty nam-"
Braaaa braaaaaa..
An alarm went off and the light flashed pink. "I didn't do it!" Mikey held his hands in the air. "I know everyone jumps the gun and blames me, but I didn't touch anything!"
"Well Raph was on lookout, and I don't see any Kraang." Leo argued back…only to be surrounded by a swarm of the bots. "I stand corrected. Raph, where are you?!"
"DIE, DIE, DIE!" Raph's voice could be heard over the swarm as sparks were starting to flood the air.
"Get going, now! We'll cover you!" Spidey shouted to the two humans.
"Go where, there's nowhere else to run!" The girl's father complained as the other side of the cell opened, revealing two Kraang bots pulling them away. "Not again!"
"NO!" Spidey shouted, as he started punching the wall hard enough to leave dents inside of it, the fabric of his knuckles tearing. "We can't just let them get away."
"We won't!" Donnie got his bow staff and released the hidden blade that was inside it, putting it through the lock and opening the door. "Mikey, come with me, we'll save them! Rest of you keep the trash cans off our backs!"
"Will do!" Spidey jumped in the air, sticking to the ceiling. "Attention Kraang!" They all paused. "I see it was a communication error last time, allow me to try and translate." The hero cleared his throat. "That which is known as the Kraang's originator is what is known as so large that Kraang's originator can not reasonably compact themselves inside of that which is known as a captive cell!"
"Kraang takes offense to the one known as the Man of Spiders to say that the originator of Kraang is incapable of compacting themselves properly in a containment cell by exaggerating the largeness of the scale of Kraangs originator!" One of them shouted, as every droid began firing.
"What do you know, yo mama jokes ARE a universal constant." Spidey laughed as he dodged the blasts.
"Less jockey, more fighty!" Leo called out, twirling his swords. "Although, since they're robots, we don't have to worry about holding back, do we?"
"As long as it's not the stomach brain area, feel free to go full force!" The spandex wearing man shouted as he swung into a droid's head hard enough to decapitate it.
"Good enough for me!" Leo smirked. Now was their chance to finally be heroes.
Kraang dragged the ones that were unwilling captives to the vehicle known as a helicopter. "Let me go!" April O'neil shouted.
"The Kraang shall not be doing that which is known as letting you go." It was inane for the one known as April O'neil to think that just by shouting out please that Kraang would be so easily convinced to let her go when her importance was vital for the plans known only to Kraang.
"Why do you even need her?! You have me, you're just after scientists right?" Kirby O'neil shouted.
"The information of what the one known as Kirby O'neil seeks is that which is known as classified." They did need scientists though. They already sent Kraang to get in closer to the one known as Curtis Conors, the one known as Norman Osborn, and the one known as Otto Octavious. Kraang also sent for another, but according to the thing known as reports, the one known as Baxter Stockman is that which is known as … stupid.
Kraang spent a lot of time discussing it with Kraang. The plan of which Kraang was attempting to enact was off to what was known as a slow start. The physics of this reality turned everything upside down, and that wasn't even mentioning the constant mutated organisms that kept getting in the way. The deadly terror of Kraang still held the power cell vital for Kraang's plans, otherwise Kraang wouldn't be so dependent on the supar intelligence of the species known as humans.
It was hard invading such a staggering change of species. But the options were either slowly work on this planet, finding some other planet with less evolved life, or try their luck against the triceratons …the very mention of that last option sent what was commonly known as goosebumps through their highly evolved brains.
"Start the thing known as an engine of that which is known as a helicopter, Kraang." He told a disguised member as they arrived at the vehicle known as a helicopter.
"Kraang is starting the vehicle which is known as a helicopter to bring the prisoners vital for the plans known only to Kraang.."
"Why did we have to be kidnapped by aliens with a speech impediment?" The one known as April O'neil enacted the process of rolling their eyes.
"Hold on, we're coming!" A voice that did not belong in the place of Kraang shouted as two of the ones known as the turtles began running up,
"Kraang commands that Kraang begin the process of starting the device known as the Helicopter faster if they wish to succeed in the plans of vital importance to Kraang."
"Kraang wishes that Kraang is doing what is known as Kraang's best with operating what is known as the helicopter."
"Perhaps Kraang is enacting in the process known as flooding it instead of properly starting the vehicle known as the Helicopter."
"Give Kraang what is known as a break, Kraang is new to earth technology. Why is there that which is known as four levers instead of fourteen?" It was so irritating how unevolved the native primates were on this planet. At their rate, it would take till the heat death of the universe for them to start sprouting a third limb.
"Booyakasha!" One of the ones calling the turtles shouted, using a spinning weapon to hit a Kraang in the mechanized head unit, the force ripping its head from its body. "Oh yeah, so much easier without holding back!"
"Less bragging, more saving!" One of the ones known as the turtles that had what was known as a stick swung it around as Kraang pushed the two humans vital for the plans known as Kraang into the vehicle known as the helicopter, which had begun its aerial ascent. "Mikey, I need a line!"
"On it!" One that one of the ones that the was known as the turtles referred to as 'Mikey' batted away more of their fellow Kraang, extending it a swinging weapon to form a metallic rope that hooked itself to the bases of what was known as the helicopter. "Grab on, I can't hold it down!" The one known as the turtle screamed as the metallic chain became more and more torn..
"Don't worry, I'm coming!" The one turtle carry the giant stick ram across the chain, tripping as their ally was forced to let go from the force of the helicopter, hanging on to the base of the helicopter. "This will all work out for my plan…eventually!"
"I believe the one known as the turtle is what is commonly referred to as 'full of it." Kraang observed as he charged up his laser projectile.
"Hey, I know this sounds crazy, but maybe you guys could do something." The interloping one known as the turtle said to April and Kirby O'Neil. "Just something to think about while I'm dangling for my life!"
The one known as Kirby O'Neil looked around with an expression one could call worry as they kept switching their gaze between the Turtle and April O'Neil. "April, make sure to stay safe."
"What are you-" The one known as April O'Neil did not finish the current statement they were making, as the one known as Kirby O'Neil moved the one known as April O'Neil outside of the vehicle known as a helicopter. "DAD!" Kraang wonder if this was how all earthlings treated organisms with similar genomes.
"Keep her safe!" The one known as Kirby O'Neil shouted as Kraang contained the captive. "No matter what!" Kraang proceeded to do the act which is known as 'knocking out' the captive known as Kirby O'Neil.
"Daaaaaad!" The one known as April O'Neil cried out as the one known as the Turtle carried her in his limbs, preventing them from crashing with a primitive display of agility.
"Kraang, does Kraang wish to turn the vehicle known as the Helicopter around to retrieve the one known as April O'Neil?"
"Kraang spent a minimum time unit of that which is known as three minutes moving that which is known as a helicopter forward. Kraang is not turning the vehicle known as the helicopter around."
"Very well, but Kraang shall be reporting this to Kraang without the assistance of Kraang."
"Kraang accepts the reporting of this to Kraang without the assistance of Kraang."
"Alright, I'm going to be honest. Is anyone keeping track!?" Peter asked as more robots crawled in. "Because at this point I can't tell if they have more bodies than people and we should just be knocking the brains out, or this invasion has been going on waaaay longer than I feel comfortable about." He asked as he ducked under some more lasers. Thank god for spider sense.
"Yeah, we somehow ended up outside." Leo observed as he sliced his way through more and more bots. "Have to admit, it feels kinda nice actually using these skills against an enemy for once that isn't training!"
"See, now you're getting it!" Raph continued being the little mad man he was and brutally stabbed his way through the droids. "It's like training dummies that actually move!"
Oh great, the turtles were battle junkies, that was nice to know. "Alright, the Kraang are fine as long as you can avoid lasers, Mikey and Donnie are on hostage duty, anything else wanna go wrong with this rescue mission?"
A Kraang came flying from the sky, as everyone stopped fighting, turning to the damaged robot. "That which is known as the provider has been exposed to the mutagen …" The sparking machine responded, before it shut down, the brain popping out and screaming as it ran away.
"..I'm just going to go out on the very flimsy chance whoever's about to show up hates the Kraang more than us and hope we can run away safely." Spidey squealed a response.
The walls became covered in what looked like giant vines and claws. "Hey." Leo spoke up. "Quick question, but remember how we had that discussion about removing the mutagen from the van?" He asked.
"Yeah." Raph got his sai's ready.
"I think I know what happened to it." Leo pointed to the wall as a giant figure hopped over it, revealing a tall giant dried up looking weed monster with big buggy eyes and tendrils waving around everywhere.
"Become my nutrients!" The giant plant monster that was probably Snake (good luck digesting that, conscious), shouted as they extended vines. "I'll grind you pests into mulch for what you've done!"
"Ah, would it make you feel better to know it was an accident and we had no idea you'd be so close to the explosion?" Spidey weakly tried to pacify as one of those vine tentacles tried to tackle him. "Didn't think so!"
"Glad we brought cutting tools now!?" Raph shouted, slicing the vine holding him tightly.
"Yeah, but I'd be more grateful if he wasn't able to do that!" He pointed to the severed limb, that instantly regrew itself to working condition.
"Well that's just not fair-" Leo was cut off on account of the vines trying to attack him, not helping was the lasers the Kraang were now firing at every non Kraang-oh great, now they had him doing it in his head.
"I seriously miss the days where I was the biggest genetic enigma in the world!" Peter shouted, barely able to maneuver between the lasers and the vines trying to strike him down.
"You and me both, buddy!" Leo shouted as he continued to slice away, spilling pink blood (or was that nectar, so hard to tell).
"Guys, what's going on!" Oh, Mikey was back, and so was Donnie, the girl and …
"Where's the dad!?" Spidey shouted.
"Long story we can't really focus on!" Donnie shouted as he attempted to move the girl out of the way. "What's with the giant weed?!"
"Snake got into some mutagen. He's now a regenerating plant monster that wants to eat us all!" Raph shouted, attacking more vines. "And he won't stay down!"
"He turned into a plant?" Mikey questioned. "Figured he'd turn into a snake, you know, with that being his name and all."
"I'd take a snake, he'd probably be easier to put down!" Spidey shouted, trying to web up the plant monster, only for vines to slip through openings. "Anyone got any bright ideas, one's that hopefully include a giant can of weed killer!"
"Well if we're down with putting him out of his misery, he is a plant." Donnie noted as he protected the girl from some Kraang. "Theoretically he's still flamable."
Spidey looked around, trying to notice anything flammable in the area, or some kind of heat source. The biggest one being the Kraang lasers, and the most combustible items in the area were.. "When I give the signal, one of you gets the Kraang to fire at my web cartridges, then scatter!"
"On it." Leo began twirling his blade. "Donnie, Mikey, keep the Kraang busy. Raph, you and me are on Snake." Nice intuition, diving things up based on skill.
"Yeah, Snakeweed ain't going to know what hit him!" Mikey cheered.
"Snakeweed?" Raph asked incredulously.
"It actually fits perfectly to be honest." Spidey nodded in approval as he removed some of the spare cartridges from his belt.
"Sweet! After this we can totally work shop Spider Man!" The orange turtle said as he started bashing robots.
"Hey I worked a good weekend on that name!"
"Then it was a wasted weekend!" Raph holard as he went between Snakeweed's legs, slicing him on the nether regions. "Come and get me, Stinkweed!"
"I will dine on your soul!" Somehow the talk was even creepier when it was less stable.
Alright, time this correctly, get the canister in place, make it denser so the resulting explosion has more decompressed force … aim the arc and … toss! "Hey Snakey, I'm guessing this is important!" He fired the cartridges at that weird looking sees-heart on his throat and webbed them there. "Okay Turtles, time to bring the fireworks!"
"Hey Kraang!" Mikey shouted. "The color pink is the worst color of them all!" A pungeon master after his own heart.
"Prepared to be mowed down into flower town, Snakeweed!" Leo even had a few good lines here and there. He definitely felt at home fighting along these guys.
"I'll pound you pathetic vermin into fertilizer!" Snakeweed continued to attack as the Kraang fired at the turtles. The two forces acted indifferent to each other, Snakeweed not looking like he even minded getting fired at, letting in the perfect opening for a stray hit to tag the webbed up cartridges.
Kaboooooom
"Ahhhhhhjhhhh!" Snakeweed was erupted by a wave of flames overcoming his body, everything becoming black and burnt as he ran around aimless, crashing into hordes of now distracted Kraang.
"You know, if more fights end like this, then it might actually be worth it to have you around." Raph watched on with a satisfied look:
"It's not a service I'm happy to supply, but I guess exceptions exist, speaking of.." Peter pointed to the Kraang still coming in. "I'm never one to let a bad guy run free." {Multiple projectiles.} He dodged a few more blasts. "But I can tell we're outnumbered here."
"He's right. Everyone, head out." Leo announced.
"Dad …" Peter heard the girl mutter as they began to run from the base. That was just the typical Parker luck, wasn't it? Nothing good could happen without something terrible proceeding it.
April could barely register anything happening around her after the Turtles and Spider-man saved her from those freaky robot aliens. She hardly cared that she was out of a cell and on a comfy bed. Her dad was still kidnapped, and she couldn't do a damn thing about it…for now at least.
She groaned exhaustedly as she met her five saviors outside her apartment window. "How'd it go with your Aunt?" One of the turtles, Leo, the leader, asked her.
"Better than I thought it would. She didn't believe me about the Kraang, but she's letting me stay over for the time being." April sighed. "So … what now?"
"We'll for me, I'm going to try and figure out how to get the government to notice a literal alien invasion inside of New York City without sounding like a crazy person." Spider Man, the one she was only fifty percent sure was human, commented. "You know, because they have armies and super advanced tech."
"Oh please, aside from the numbers, we creamed those trash-cans and dropped them in the dumps." Raph smirked, twirling his weapon in his hands. "I say we can handle them no problem."
"You say that now, but by the rules of karma, when one threat is brought into the equation, a bigger one is usually around the corner." Spidey groaned. "We just opened Pandora's box and now all the crazy stuff is gonna run rampant through the city."
"Then that just means we gotta keep working together to kick all the crazy's butts!" The excitable one, Mikey, cheered. "The wall crawler and the heroes in a half shell side by side, kicking butt and taking names!"
"… We'll work on the half shell thing later." Leo deadpanned. "But he's right, we're in this together now."
"I'm not exactly what you'd call a team player." Spider-man said as he scratched the back of his head. "I kind of planned on doing this hero gig solo."
"Weren't you almost plant chow because you didn't have anything sharp?" Raph asked.
"I would've improvised…eventually, you guys just…made it easier."
"So the definition of a team." Donnie put in.
"I don't know.." Spider-man continued to hesitate.
"Look, I'd want nothing more than to avoid hearing your annoying voice for the rest of my life, you can be sure of that…." Raph pointed out.
"Your sunny disposition is just so endearing."
"…But you do know the streets more than we do, even if you look like a giant clown." Raph continued. "And if we just go on space-dork's lead, we'll probably end up dead or something."
"Raph had a point…..to a certain extent." Leo added in with a grunt. "We have the training and you have the experience. We can do so much more good for this city if we combine our forces full time." He looked at the man in red right in those wide white lenses. "It's a big responsibility to protect this city alone, let us take some of that responsibility too."
Spider Man stared at them all for a minute, before sighing. "Fine, I guess I could use help with shady organizations. We'll run some test runs tomorrow night." The turtles whooped. "But first we need to make sure April here is out of the action, maybe work on-"
April sent the masked vigilante a glare. "If you think I'm going to sit out while some alien freaks have my dad, I will break my fist trying to punch your lights out." She threatened.
"….Why does the universe insist on making this job as difficult as possible?" Spidey groaned.
"It is her father, it would be a jerk move to leave her out of it completely." Donnie reasoned, sending her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry April, we're all in this together now. I'm not going to rest until your dad is as good as found."
"Yeah, we can totally find him before he's forced to do horribly evil things and then mutated into a freak that will kill us all." WHAT!?
"MIKEY!" The turtle brother's shouted at the same time.
"Starting to regret this already." Spidey groaned with an exhausted tone. "What other foreboding terrible news does the night want to entertain us with?"
April got an alert on her phone and hissed when she saw what was on it. "Oooh, you're not going to like what's on here then." April showed the screen to the group, playing a video of a news report.
"This is Carlos Cheing O'Brian Gambe with the Channel 6 news!" The reporter announced loudly. "Ninja's in New York? More likely than you think!"
"That doesn't mean it's us…necessarily." Leo weekly responded with a wince.
"There have been an alarming amount of disturbances occurring within the past two nights in the city that never sleeps, and while many have speculated it to be the works of the rumored masked vigilante known as Spider-Man, police after investigation have stumbled onto this piece of evidence!" The video showed off a picture of one of their throwing stars, a weapon that had a strange looking symbol on it, a symbol that seemed familiar to the turtles.
"… So who tells Rat Sensei?" Spider Man asked. "Because not it!"
"Not it!" Mikey shouted out next.
"Not it!" April quickly joined in, not sure how likely these guys were willing to pass the blame to her, especially with how scary they described this 'Master Splinter'.
"Not it!" Donnie shouted.
"Not-" Leo was cut off as Raph hit him in the face.
"Not it!" Raph shouted as he cheered. "Well fearless leader, time to own up to that responsibility you were talking about earlier."
"…Ever have a bit of good luck in your hero career, experienced hero?" Leo asked with a bit of fear.
"Hardly if ever." Spidey answered the disappointed turtle. "This line of work ain't exactly for the faint of heart, goodspeed Leonardo, goodspeed."
"Oh relax dudes. After Splinter get's down kicking Leo out of his shell, we'll be famous!" Mikey waved off.
"Ninjas aren't supposed to be famous." Donnie responded back.
"Come on, what's the worst that could happen?" Raph shrugged, before Spidey slapped his forehead. "What?"
"I know you're new to the surface…but you should know better than to say something like that outloud." April silently agreed with the vigilante's words, knowing that there were always was for something to be worse.
Oroku Saki sat in silence, rubbing his kabuto once more. His head always felt itchy on days like this, where the memory of Hamato Yoshi plagued his mind, and the loss of his one true love.
One such memory being the symbol displayed on the screen before him. From his reports, the New York branch had been experiencing an odd shift as of late. Tales of vigilantes roaming the streets, even rumors of the foot's long sworn enemy, The Hand, being active in the city after what felt like a century of silence in the shadows.
He hardly paid such matters mind. While he dealt with interference into his crime syndicate in the past, most notably a man only known as the Kuzuri, he cared little for personal financial gain or territory. In the long run, his position served only two main purposes: keeping the foot clan alive and relevant in this ever changing world, and preparing his army for the day Oroku Saki would face his most hated enemy.
Every day, that single, horrid night would replay in his mind, the many regrets he had. He regretted underestimating Yoshi when he played the part of the fool. He regretted letting Tenshen, the love of his life, fall into the arms of that traitor, and he definitely regretted never slicing the man's throat before leaving the man to burn.
However, there were things he should be grateful for as well. Grateful he survived the flames to enact his vengeance, grateful Miwa existed so he may hurt his enemy beyond hope, and grateful he was able to build on his skills, so when the day came he would prove his superiority to that bastard. When that day came, he would finally defeat the man that plagued his nightmares.
The door opened, as a foot soldier ran through the door. "Sir, we received a report from the New York branch." Great, another bit of either strange rumor or infuriating news. This was not what he needed right now.
"What is it?" He growled out, making it very clear he was not above disemboweling his own men if his patience was run thin.
"A third of the territories we've established through the Purple Dragons have been overtaken." Saki despised working with gangs at the bottom of the food chain, but if one wanted to rule, they had to have influence everywhere, to even the simplest of drug dealers. "There's word on the street of some sort of 'Big Man', running the whole operation."
The 'Big Man', as if they had actual power over the world. It was another pest in the long run, but with this, and symbol of the Hamato clan displayed over the news, it was becoming abundantly obvious what his next move had to be. "Prepare my jet to New York in the morning."
He would drag Hamato Yoshi out of the shadows he wallowed in, and all that opposed him would face the wrath of the Shredder.