I just finished watching 7x16 and I couldn't help but bang out this fic, so enjoy two chapters in one night! :)

Severide knew there was more to what happened on Casey's call than the Captain was letting on. As Matt had raced past them on the apparatus floor not only had he been short with Brett, but he had also been pale, a wild look in his eyes that Severide had never seen on him throughout his career in the CFD. Then Mouch and Kidd had told them the story, how Casey had been alone in the house after they were cleared from the call and then ambushed by a guy with a gun. Apparently he had shot at Casey but missed.

Kidd had also mentioned briefly that Casey had hit his head in the scuffle and a brief flare of panic caused Severide's chest to get tight. Head injuries would be dangerous for the Captain after his brain injury a few years back and subsequent surgery. If he was hiding a head injury, that could be fatal for him. But something told Severide that that wasn't it. The look on Casey's face as he rushed by was stuck in Severide's head. There was more to the story than just a missed shot. Besides, Casey had been actually shot before and hadn't had any lingering troubles with the situation other than the physical healing of his arm.

Grissom pulled Severide's attention away from where Casey had disappeared and his concern dropped into a corner of his mind. It was only at the end of shift that he remembered he was going to check in as he spotted Casey walking down the hall to the apparatus floor.

"Yo!" He said as he hurried through the door, hitting Casey gently on the arm to get him to slow down. "You okay?"

The Captain had continued his shift as usual, but Severide could still see that look in his eyes, and the blonde was still pale.

Casey kept walking, his head facing forward as he answered. "Have a headache."

"Yeah, I heard you caught a bad one," Severide said, hoping to get Casey to open up about what was going on in his head.

"Not more than usual."

Severide kept up the quick pace to stay next to Casey. He was being unusually short with his answers, another telltale sign that something bigger was at play here. It was time for a different tactic.

"Hey, so I was gonna hook up with Sullivan and Allen from 85. You know them?"

He stood back as Casey placed his charged radio in Truck for the next lieutenant. Maybe this would get Casey to talk, break him out of whatever stupor he was in.

"Nope."

"Well, they're both union reps now. Just trying to get insight into this whole task force thing."

He looked over at Casey and frowned as he noticed the blonde was still avoiding eye contact.

Then he started pulling on his gloves as he answered, giving him another excuse to not look Severide in the eyes. "You think Griss is really on his way out?"

Well, at least he answered with more words than Severide had heard all shift.

"Sounds like it."

Finally, Casey spared a quick glance toward Severide, but looked away in a blink. "That a bad thing?"

"No, that's why I was, you know, trying to get a handle on it. See if you wanted to come with."

The political side of the situation was to draw Casey in, but the real reason Severide wanted him to come was so he could keep an eye on him.

"Can't," Casey replied, still looking pointedly ahead. "I'm going to put a wet towel on my head, turn off the lights in my room, close my eyes."

He turned again toward Severide but then kept walking toward the door, not even stopping when Severide didn't follow him.

"Yeah, I get it," he replied, but Casey was already gone. He could only stare at where the blonde had slipped through the door into the chilly morning air. Something was definitely going on with their Captain.

Severide thanked Sullivan and Allen and made his way toward the bar.

"Hey Severide. The usual?" Hermann asked, already reaching for a beer. The lieutenant paused, placing the slip of paper in his jacket pocket. Normally he'd have a few beers and relax a bit before he went home for the night, but something was nagging at him to get home.

"Actually I'm alright. I'm going to head home."

Herrmann shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Severide found himself driving a bit faster than usual to his apartment. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to hurry, but it was like an itch he couldn't scratch. He just needed to get home.

A bit of the tension eased as he slid the key into the lock, opening the door, but it slammed fully back into him when he noticed the apartment was almost completely dark. The only light was coming from the streetlights outside flooding through the large windows.

"Casey?" He called, placing his keys on the kitchen island. He supposed the blonde could be asleep in his room, he had said he was going to do as much, but there was always some light left on. To come home to a dark apartment set Severide on edge.

He walked more into the living room, his eyes only starting to adjust. "Hey, Casey you-" he stopped short, jumping slightly as he finally noticed an outline of someone on the couch.

"Jesus, Case, what are you doing sitting on the couch in the dark?"

Casey didn't respond but then he heard a quiet sniff, muffled, and his concern grew even more.

"Hey, man, you okay?" He inched toward the couch, reaching to turn the light on but Casey finally spoke.

"Don't," he croaked, his voice rough.

"Don't what? Turn on the light?"

"Yes," he whispered and this time his voice cracked.

Severide sat on the chair next to the couch. He was close enough to Casey that their legs almost touched.

"What's going on bud?" He asked softly, putting on the voice he saved for victims that were in distress. Casey was in need of that right now. Whatever was going on with him seemed to have taken over.

Another sniff broke the silence, this time followed by a choked off sob. Casey was crying.

"Case…" he reached over and touched his hand to Casey's knee, letting him know he was there. The blonde flinched but didn't pull away so Severide kept his hand there.

"Matt, tell me what's going on. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong."

His eyes had finally adjusted to the dark and now he could see Casey much more clearly. The Captain was hunched over, hands pressed to his face and his body was shaking slightly.

Just when he thought Casey was going to stay silent, the blonde sat back and rubbed his hands over his face before he crossed them over his chest. Even in the dark it was obvious Casey had been crying for a while. There were wet tear marks on his face and Severide could see his eyes were puffy and most likely red.

"The call," the blonde started, voice wavering and quiet. "I didn't tell the whole truth."

Severide stayed quiet, knowing that Casey needed to get this out without interruption. He did, however, move a bit closer, squeezing Casey's knee gently to ground him and let him know he was safe to keep speaking.

"I heard a noise. It was stupid, but I went to check it out." He took a deep breath, the air catching in his chest before he let it out and continued. "I just walked over to where the living room met the kitchen when all of a sudden this guy came flying at me. He knocked me to the ground and I hit my head so I didn't see it at first. But then I looked…" his voice caught and Severide could see his lips were trembling, a few tears spilling down his face. "He had a gun and it was pointed right at my face. Before I could do anything, he-" Casey cut himself off as a sob tore through him, but the blonde swallowed it, running his hands through his hair before he finally looked Severide directly in the eyes. "He pulled the trigger, Sev. I was staring down the barrel of the gun and he pulled the trigger! The gun jammed! I should be dead!" His voice raised in pitch as anger flowed from the blonde. Tears raced down his cheeks as he shook his head, hands fidgeting in his lap.

"I should be dead! The only reason I'm not is because of a 1 in 1000 chance. How am I supposed to wrap my head around that? Why am I alive? Why wouldn't the gun go off? How am I supposed to go on knowing that my life should have ended right there?"

"Hey…" Severide soothed, moving so he was kneeling on the ground next to where Casey was sitting, angling himself to better see the blonde in the dark.

"You can't think like that, Case. Life is full of moments that don't make sense. I could be hit by a bus tomorrow. Any one of us could be killed on the job. One decision can change your life, but that doesn't mean they're always a reason for why things happen. Every shift we put our lives on the line to help save people, but each choice we make, which path we choose, what tool we hold, that all affects how the day ends. But we can't linger on that. If we do, we're dead for sure."

Casey sobbed again and Severide reached up and grabbed his hand. "I know it's hard, but you can't focus on the small details, why something did or didn't happen. If we did, we wouldn't be able to do our job. Sometimes shit happens, but what you need to focus on is the fact that you're still alive, still here, and put that into your work, how many lives you can help save. And know that you have me and everyone else at 51 that has your back."

Casey sniffed and rubbed his hands over his face again, leaving them there for a moment before he let them drop.

"You're right," he said softly and Severide smiled. "I don't know why I got so stuck on this. I just couldn't stop replaying that moment in my head."

"It was a traumatic moment, Case. I think that's normal. But next time, come to me and we can talk it out. That's what I'm there for. I know you'd do the same for me."

Casey huffed a small laugh. "Trying to get you to talk about anything is as easy as pulling teeth."

"Hey, I'm not that bad."

Casey shot him a look and he laughed. "Okay, maybe just a little."

The blonde rolled his eyes and then sat back against the couch, rubbing his temples.

"Ugh my head is pounding."

"You take something earlier?"

"I did at the end of shift but nothing since then."

Severide got up from his crouched position, knees protesting, and made his way over to the island where they kept a bottle of Advil. "Is that why all the lights are out in here?" He asked as he shook out two pills and filled a glass of water before he brought it over to the blonde.

Casey took the pills and water and downed them, draining the glass before placing it on the coffee table.

"Maybe," he said sheepishly.

"What happened to the wet towel and bed idea?" Severide asked as he helped Casey to his feet, supporting him lightly as they made his way to their bedroom.

"I tried but every time I shut my eyes all I could see was the gun so I got up and sat on the couch."

He helped Casey down onto the bed and made his way over to the connected bathroom where he soaked a washcloth in cold water. He squeezed the excess water out and walked back into the bedroom where Casey had already slid under the blankets.

"Thanks," the blonde said as he took the towel, laying back and spreading it across his forehead. He sighed in relief and Severide watched some of the tension leave his face.

"Will you be okay now?"

Casey peeled back half of the towel so he could look at Severide. "Yeah, I think I will be. Thanks Sev, for everything."

"Of course, Case. If you need anything I'll be in my bedroom. Don't hesitate to ask."

Casey gave a slight nod and placed the towel back over his eyes. Severide squeezed the blonde's arm gently and then left the room, closing the door most of the way but leaving it open a crack. He'd do the same with his bedroom door just so he could make sure everything was good with Casey in the night. His brother was hurting right now, but with some time, he'd be okay.