The immersion had been disrupted— a moment of clarity within the matrix. The magic and simplicity of Goblin Slayer's life since he had been rescued by Fairy Knight had died, and left within the broken pieces of that beautiful facade was shattered mirror that pieces together a broken reflection; a dark reflection that was missing so many of its pieces, yet was still capable of showing Goblin Slayer a clear enough image of who he used to be— of who he should still be.
No longer interested in the coming of the Moon-Cell or the goblin-infested stronghold, what Goblin Slayer proceeded to do once he managed to keep it together long enough to have BB transport everyone back to the safety of the lakeside manor was immediately lock himself into one of the bedrooms on the fifth floor; releasing all of the bottled-up feelings of fear, anguish, and dread that he had been hiding from everyone, since the moment he snapped out of his trance. For as far as he could tell, no one else except BBB— the chibi AI who resembled both BB, and one of the teenagers who he saw through the eyes of the "Dungeon Master".
Had it not been for his trusty mute ally having recorded the strange anomaly while he had been entranced by it earlier, then Goblin Slayer would have gone mad trying to piece together the fragmented memory through faulty recollection alone. Hiding behind the excuse that he was tried and wanted to be left alone to dwell on the things he had seen within the cavern, Goblin Slayer didn't need to use Fairy Knight to guard his bedroom door— which he partly regretted, as was sitting down beside on the bed, trying to figure out what he was repeatedly looking at through the holographic interface that BBB had put into "privacy mode".
"… There's something amiss with you. What is that you're attempting to keep hidden from me?" Fairy Knight asked with a mildly accusatory tone in her voice, as she narrowed her eyelids at Goblin Slayer, all the while furrowing her brows.
Although Goblin Slayer could tell that his servant was doing her best to cover up the pain she felt from his lack of transparency with her, the paranoia that the boy was experiencing in that moment made him reluctant to be forthcoming with the truth. Instead, the boy quickly lied through his teeth as he casually replied with, "I'm viewing some explicit content right now to take the edge off; just wanted to be private about it, was all."
Not buying the lie that Goblin Slayer was trying to peddle onto her, Fairy Knight momentarily darted her eyes down toward the boy's crotch— staring at it for a few seconds, before immediately glaring back up into where he was looking at her through his peripheral vision. "You're flaccid. And even if you weren't, you're obviously scrolling back with your fingers; navigating through the timeframe of a video, if I had to guess properly; which apparently is needed, you liar," Fairy Knight retorted spitefully; sounding more even more betrayed, as she stood up from the edge of the mattress while glaring even more invisible daggers towards her master.
And before Goblin Slayer could think of another false explanation as to why he had been repeatedly replaying certain sections of the memory fragment, the privacy mode on his holographic screen was overridden; causing Fairy Knight's eyes to widen in confusion, as she looked away from her master to observe the still image of Sakura Matou: the first one amongst the round table to speak up, after having taken off her headset last. "What the fuck…? How the hell did that-"
"-Since when were you one to keep secrets from us, Ashta-Kun? Since when were you one to freely use such foul language as well?" BB asked with a tone of suspicion in her voice, as her photon particles manifested the form of her broadcasted avatar, several feet away from the edge of the bed.
Peering over the side of his paused recording, Goblin Slayer felt a sense of nervousness and guilt enter his body, as he saw the dead-serious look that the usually sassy and expressive AI woman had on her face; the face that belonged to Sakura, which felt uncanny when he compared hers to the one that was frozen on his holographic screen. "I… Look, I-I don't know what's going, alright? So just… Cut that out, alright?! I'm just… T-Trying to make sense of this shit— and as far I know, it's plausible that one of you has something to do with thi-"
"-On the contrary, suffice to say that the memory fragment that you tried hiding from us paints a different picture," BB interjected as soon as she could get a word in edgewise, refusing to allow herself to hear the rest of what Goblin Slayer had left to say.
Furrowing his brows at her, Goblin Slayer frowned defensively at BB as he asked her, "… And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Letting out a dry and humorless scoff, BB smiled joylessly with exasperation washing over her; shaking her head at Goblin Slayer, before composing herself with a deep sigh. "Isn't it obvious? That memory fragment was yours— and more importantly, what I saw within it— makes me think that the circumstances around why the Moon-Cell supposedly chose you to have Hakuno-Chan's magic crest… I'm beginning to think that such an occurrence wasn't an act of fate, "Dungeon Master", or even a decision made by the Moon-Cell itself," BB spat out; allowing herself to begin losing her composure, as she found herself getting angry just from the way Goblin Slayer was staring back at her with a confused expression on his face.
What transpired after that was a cacophony of accusations that stemmed from what BB had seen from the memory fragment that Fairy Knight began watching at the start of the heated discussion. Although BB had told Goblin Slayer previously that she had been an AI created from a sentient NPC, who made her solely to protect Hakuno by any means necessary, what the boy discovered from the managerial AI was that her "Sakura" was based off an actual person; an actual person, who BB was now certain was the same teenager who she had seen from the memory fragment.
Although she never said it throughout the two hours she practically screamed at him through angered tears, Goblin Slayer could tell that the memory fragment that had somehow come to him had shaken her just as much as it had shaken him. Not only did she recognize Sakura, but she knew who all of his friends were; having met them through the different span of multiple timelines and universes, which were all compiled in the network of data that each iteration of the Moon-Cell was connected to. Or at least, that's what she still thought; as not even that she could be sure of anymore.
"I should have known not to trust you from the beginning… What kind of orphan that's spawned within a bronze-age fantasy world would be able to learn so quickly on how to use a complex operating system," BB muttered, while lowering her voice as she began to delve deeper at her time spent with Goblin Slayer; letting out another cynical chuckle, as she shook her head to herself. "… With all things considered now, I suppose it's fair to say that I didn't actually teach you anything… You must have known all of that at one point in your life; perhaps all I managed to accomplish was just refresh your mind," BB lamented, as the remainder of his rage dwindled away— leaving behind only solemnity, as the managerial AI began connecting more-and-more dots together.
"Or… Maybe you're just bad at lying, and weren't able to play the role of a child as well as you thought you were. Hmm… Perhaps the hubris I saw in that insecure, pathetic teenager explains your perversions," BB mused with a condemning voice, while casting judgment over Goblin Slayer for the lifestyle he had picked up on so easily.
Frowning with his eyebrows furrowed, Goblin Slayer looked away from BB as he felt his heart racing within his chest. "… And who are you to judge me for loving those who I feel connected to? And besides… At least they love back the same way that I love them… Can the same be said about you and Hakuno?" Goblin Slayer asked; flinching slightly, as he saw the change of demeanor forming in BB's face, after hearing the blasphemous words coming from his mouth.
"You…! You don't have any right to speak on Hakuno-Chan's behalf! You don't talk about her— not when your own loveless father blamed you for what happened to her; wherever the HELL you're from" BB said with disdain and anger bubbling back in her heartache-filled voice; her eyes narrowing and her fingers tensing up into closed fists, as the thought of her precious Hakuno being assaulted filled her with unbridled rage. "O-One reason…" She whispered in an eerily withheld voice; making Goblin Slayer feel even more on edge, as he winced at the hate-filled glare she was giving him.
"I… I don't know what you're trying to say, BB-Sensei. O… One reason for w-what?" Goblin Slayer asked with the feeling of his skin crawling on his back; his fingers nervously clutching onto the edge of the mattress, as he watched BB take a hard step closer toward him.
"… Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you right now," BB finished, as she stood over him with her eyes widened and her hands aching to wrap themselves around the boy's throat. "I've caught you attempting to hide the truth from me… You're deceptive… You must have been using Hakuno-Chan to manipulate me; to lure me into this artificial world… You're keeping her here— keeping her from me, aren't you?!" BB demanded accusingly; the purple in her eyes beginning to glow red, as her pale skin began to grow tanner, and her lavender hair becoming whiter, and whiter as she began to advance toward Goblin Slayer with her arms reaching up from her sides.
Shaking his head at her while feeling his heart sinking into his chest, Goblin Slayer shook his head cautiously at BB and her altering features. "I… As far as I know, I'm not t-trapping anyone… I… I-I only know as much as you know; as much as the memory fragment shows," Goblin Slayer explained, while flinching as he noticed BB visibly trying to restrain herself, while she stood less than a foot away from him, with the most hateful expression he had ever seen her with. "Maybe that was me, and maybe my memory was defragmented… Maybe that's why I don't remember any of that… I'm sorry that I don't have any solid answers to give you… The only reason I could give you to spare me is… Is that you're my friend, and I'd do anything to bring Hakuno back to you."
Having had her faith for Goblin Slayer shaken by what she saw him trying to hide from her, BB within her altered mind immediately deemed that the words he was trying to calm her down with were all lies as well. Before she could give into her emotional distress, it was that Fairy Knight broke the tension by letting out an amused chortle. Whipping her head around to face the smirking servant, BB's altered features began to fade away as quickly as they came— the unbridal rage she had planned on unleashing onto Goblin Slayer interrupted by the confusion she felt at that moment. "… What are you laughing at? Do you find this funny, Melusine?"
"Fwuahaha…! Yeah, actually I kind of do," Fairy Knight boldly admired with her fangs showing, as her amused smile grew wider. "For a managerial AI that's supposed to base their decisions off of known facts and logical observations, you sure are allowing your emotions get the better of you."
From the side, Goblin Slayer noticed BB's eyelid twitching as she glared down at the unphased servant with absolute contempt for her. "I… I AM basing my judgment solely on logic though! You saw the memory fragment— you've seen what this sadistic, mentally-deranged boy is capable of! Isn't it obvious that HE'S to blame here?! Hell, he's probably done this before countless times with other servants; that would explain WHY the Moon-Cell even KNOWS about this place! This place… It's probably ALL just a variation of what a reality marble is, in of itself!" BB exclaimed with a maddened look in her eyes, as she gestured at the room around her with her arms thrown up.
"And you're making accusations based on your frustrations, and your obsession with resuscitating some girl who's lingering between dimensions; awake, but not alive," Fairy Knight shot back with a more serious tone on her face, while still smile slightly as she couldn't care either way about Hakuno, or about what she saw in the recorded memory fragment. "Admit it… You're getting worked up because nothing in that precious little database can help you understand what's going on with Goblin Slayer; he's beyond your understanding, and pairing that with the SPECULATION that Hakuno's even able to be saved… I think that's why you're jumping to conclusions so quickly."
Gritting her teeth bitterly at Fairy Knight, BB angrily summoned her metal wand into her right gloved-hand— knowing that even though she couldn't hurt Fairy Knight and vice-versa. "She WILL be saved, I don't care whether or not you believe that… And as far as the lack of information on him… Of course that's concerning to me; it's even more concerning now that I know there's more of people like him out there, and there was nothing that I could find on anyone with the last name "Ashta" that even remotely resembles him, or the others who I couldn't identify in that memory fragment!" BB stated, while breathing heavily as Fairy Knight continued to sit on the edge of the bed— gazing up at her, with a mildly pitying reflection within her brown eyes.
"… Have you ever thought that what you saw in that memory fragment was just a glimpse into another timeline? A remnant of a lostbelt?" Fairy Knight asked rhetorically in a less abrasive voice; her suggestion making BB's eyes widen, and a soft gasp escape past her parted lips. "Perhaps this "Lorenzo Ashta" was a cruel young man, who manipulated the fate of those who he had power over— those who his friends and siblings possessed, and to whom he made them suffer for the sake of appeasing an unloving father. Hurt people, hurt others; that doesn't excuse whatever he did to those who even I have some vague recognition of… And you know what, BB? You have EVERY right to feel scornful of that boy," Fairy Knight said with genuine empathy in her voice; catching BB off guard, while making Goblin Slayer feel even worse about himself.
Before he had long to wallow in what he forgives to be their justified hatred of him, Fairy Knight did the unthinkable when she reached her arm out to wrap it around him— pulling him closer to her, as she affectionately reached up with that same arm to gently push Goblin Slayer's head onto her armored shoulder pad. "But not this one…! I may not be not know the nature behind this mystery, but what I DO know is that this isn't that same person; not at all. This is OUR "Ren Ashta"— he's not the one you should be angry at!" Fairy Knight exclaimed with her passion breaking her stoicism; holding Goblin Slayer even closer to her, as she saw BB's muscles beginning to shake not from anger, but from the guilt that was flowing through her.
"You've seen how many times he's put himself in danger, just to help those who would have been damned had he not intervened! He wouldn't do those cruel acts onto anyone; not us, not his friends, family, or even mislead individuals who hated him for their fear of him… The same fear that you have for him: the fear of the unknown," Fairy Knight said with her own accusatory voice; the tension between her and BB growing electric, as both women locked eyes as their voices grew silent.
Frozen to his spot with the beating of his heart pulsating in his ear drums, Goblin Slayer felt a nauseating feeling bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. Secured beside Fairy Knight, while guilt and self-loathing made him blame himself for the heartache and sorrow BB felt, Goblin Slayer closed his eyelids as he hung his head in shame; his head feeling light as a disorienting sense of pseudo vertigo made the room around him feel dizzy. "I hate it… I hate all of it," Goblin Slayer whispered out in a horse voice, as he hunched forward and away from Fairy Knight's shoulder; his arms pressed tightly around the front of his toned abdomen, as his troubled mind recalled the stirring emotions of fear, shame, and frustration dwelling up in his stomach.
Both women turned their attention toward Goblin Slayer; neither intervening, as they watched the boy struggle with his emotions, and of how overwhelming the aftermath of the memory fragment was for them all. Conflicting thoughts entered BB's mind— the part of her that wanted to comfort Goblin Slayer was pushed back by the other side of her who blamed him for whatever misfortune that had happened to Hakuno that she wasn't aware of. Letting out a deep and elongated exhale through her nose, BB lowered the tops of her eyelids as she finally turned away from Goblin Slayer; her back turned to him, as slowly rubbed her palm down the front of her face.
"… I need to be alone… BBB, she'll be of service to you as my substitute, until I… "If" I ever decide to return," BB said in a low, stoic voice; her own words hitting her harder than a shot of liquor, as she closed her eyelids shut while clenching her jaw afterwards— refusing to dare look over at the betrayed and saddens expression that was on Goblin Slayer's face, as her avatar dissipated into a scattering cloud of stark-white geometric-particles; all of which faded upward and into thin air.
In that moment, Goblin Slayer felt the lowest he ever had; unmotivated to do anything but wallow in his own misery and existential despair, the devastated ten year-old felt tears beginning to roll down his cheeks, as he slowly laid down in the center of the bed. 'That really must have been me in that memory fragment at some point… Him and I both retreat to the same place, to wallow in our self-pity and pain… Who even am I at this point? How long have I been living a lie for?' Goblin Slayer thought to himself; his knees pressed up against his chest while cradling himself as he closed his eyelids shut.
It wasn't long after until Goblin Slayer heard the mattress squeak behind him, followed by an annoyed sigh as Fairy Knight stood over him with an irritated look in her brown eyes. Expecting to be bereaved by her for having given into his woe, Goblin Slayer braced himself to be met with retaliation from Fairy Knight. "… Twenty minutes," the servant finally said, with a begrudging tone as she crossed her arms over her chest.
Confused enough by the white-haired servant's words to turn his head over his shoulder to meet her caring yet annoyed gaze, Goblin Slayer let out a shaky breath to compose himself before uttering out a quiet and tearful, "W… W-What…?"
"Twenty minutes… That's the allotment of time that I'm willing to give you to feel your feelings. After that, I'm dragging you out of this bed, and making you interact with your friends," Fairy Knight elaborated, as she let out an embarrassed huff of breath, before using her powers to make her sleek-body armor disappear; leaving behind, as she climbed into bed with Goblin Slayer to embrace him from behind. "… No more overthinking any of this. Let's… Rest… Just for a little while," Fairy Knight whispered with a hint of sorrow and empathy in her voice, before letting out a deep breath as she gently pressed her face against the back of Goblin Slayer's neck.
Having never witnessed Fairy Knight having shown affection like she was in that moment, Goblin Slayer couldn't help but to feel tempted to imagine just how much of herself she saw within him. Beginning to wonder if the empathy she had for him came from a place of experience, it was then that Goblin Slayer began comparing the seemingly toxic relation that Dungeon Master had with Father, to that of the relationship Fairy Knight had with her own mother-figure: Lord Aurora. Both their past selves had craved desperately for the approval of those who couldn't provide them with the genuine love that they were willing to commit atrocities to pursue; the result being that their present selves were beautifully woven lies that they hid behind, in order to mask the pain and torment that they kept repressed within what was left of their hearts.
With his eyes burning as he closed his eyelids once again, Goblin Slayer slowly let out a troubled and barely audible breath through his parted lips; one hand slowly reaching over his chest to grab a hold of Fairy Knight's, as he lowered his legs so as to get into a better cuddling-position with his servant. Following the white-haired knight's instructions, Goblin Slayer meditated on the positives that he had going for him in whatever it was that he could call "his" life— from the women he had that adored him, to the powerful fairy-dragon hybrid who gave him strength; both physically and spiritually.
Cathartically comforted by the love he had— the love that he felt undeserving of— Goblin Slayer couldn't help but to let out a quiet and nihilistic chortle, as the corners of his lips grew into a joyless smile while more fresh tears trailed down from the corners of his bloodshot eyes. "… How ugly we are," the boy mused sorrowfully; his head sinking deeper into his pillow, as he felt Fairy Knight gently squeezing his hand. Using the remainder of his twenty minutes wisely, Goblin Slayer tore into himself; allowing himself to silently despise his other-self, while feeling wretched by the sins that he couldn't even be sure were even his to begin with.
Goblin Slayer has been impacted by what neither he nor anyone else could explain; it's just a missing piece of the overall puzzle of what led up to him being Goblin Slayer, and a glimpse into the timeline he's from. It comes full circle through other memory fragments, but this story will still have him as the main protagonist; his timeline and universe are tangible as the one Dungeon Master's from.
But don't worry, Fairy Knight will encourage Goblin Slayer to let loose and enjoy the rest of his night with the beautiful women and single femboy who are staying at the lakeside manor for the night. BB needs time to process things her own way, and to think about what she's said, and why she said the things she said to him.
Thank you for the support this fanfiction's got; I appreciate you all very much! The next few chapters will be lemons and slices of life, starting with High Elf Archer next chapter!