Chapter 55

Vin wasn't sure how much longer he could do this. Watching Kaylee dragging herself to a job she shouldn't even need to work for hours every day, then home to take care of her ma, her ma making comments about Ezra, about Kaylee. Kaylee growing quieter and her shoulders nearly collapsing beneath the weight she carried. Then starting it all over the next day.

None of this was what Kaylee deserved. And everything in Vin was fighting to tell Kaylee what she really deserved. And none of what she deserved included being kicked out by Ezra or coming back to this life she had clearly needed to leave behind.

But he couldn't say any of it. Not without Kaylee getting her back up and him risking her sending him packing.

So he kept his mouth shut. Did what he could to make her load lighter. And mentally thought of all the ways he would fix things for her if she would just let him.

"I got it," Vin said, quickly grabbing the bucket from Kaylee before she could take it to the laundromat utility sink and fill it.

Kaylee didn't argue, she had given up on that sometime during his third or fourth day with her. She poured in a capful of cleanser while Vin filled the bucket.

When the water was ready, Vin poured it into the rolling cart and took the mop, swishing it in the bucket, using the ringer to squeeze out the excess, and started swishing it across the linoleum floor.

Kaylee took a spray bottle and a rag and started wiping down the fronts of the washers and dryers.

The sound of their clothes tumbling in one of the washers filled the background while they worked. After this they would go clean any rooms that had guests checking out in the attached motel.

Kaylee walked past Vin to put her rag and spray bottle away. Vin hefted the bucket of dirty water and poured it down the drain.

"You want to get off your feet for a bit?" Vin asked.

She predictably shook her head, but without much fervor behind the disagreement. She didn't much look like she had the energy to put up a fight. Vin thought about how hard she had fought every step of the way through the summer on the rodeo circuit. Fighting to win, to get a paycheck. Fighting to make a place for herself. Fighting for Ezra, to give him the love she carried so easily in her tender heart. Seeing her without any fight left was killing him.

"I thought maybe we could order lunch from that sandwich place next town over," Vin commented. "I heard they deliver over this way." It was his daily mission, to find something that might spark her appetite and get her to eat more than a few bites. So far he hadn't found anything.

"Sure," she said without much enthusiasm. She opened the office door with her key and went to get the housekeeping cart. Vin took it and pushed it down the walkway in front of the rooms, across a sidewalk he had shoveled that morning.

They moved to the first room that had been vacated earlier. Vin handed Kaylee the feather duster. He watched as she started dusting the nightstands. There was no missing her pregnancy. He was fairly certain she wasn't wearing maternity clothes. Her t-shirts and sweatshirts stretched lightly across her stomach. Maternity clothes, another thing she needed that she didn't have. There wasn't a crib in the house. He hadn't seen a baby blanket or a bottle.

He hadn't asked about her pregnancy, not wanting to pull at any of the fraying threads of her life. But he wondered what she was planning to do when the baby was actually born.

He started pulling the used bedding and balling it up in the laundry bag on the rolling cart. "Have you made any plans?" he ventured.

Kaylee glanced over at him, a frown of confusion creasing her brow. "Plans?"

Vin tried to tread lightly. But he needed to know what she was thinking. If she even was thinking about anything. "For the baby," he said softly.

"I'm keeping it!" she exclaimed, the words exploding from her like it was a visceral reflex.

"Yeah, of course," Vin said. "I didn't mean…" He couldn't picture Kaylee doing anything else. Not with all the love her heart seemed to carry around in spite of where she came from. He tried to think of how to ask if she had a plan for how she would work once the baby came. How she'd buy propane next winter. "I was wondering what your plans were when the baby comes."

Kaylee looked down at the nightstand, the feather duster going still in her hand. She stood there.

Vin waited, not pushing.

"I…I'm going to…I'm going to…to—to take care of everything…I'm going to…" her voice trailed off. Her throat moved as she swallowed hard.

Vin mentally kicked himself. He shouldn't have asked. He knew what it was like to not know where you'd be in a month, let alone six months or a year. Bouncing from foster home to foster home he hadn't let himself think past the day he had to get through.

"You're gonna get through this," Vin said, dropping the bedspread and moving to her. He ducked his head to try to catch her eye. "You don't gotta do this alone."

Her jaw trembled, but she wouldn't look at him. Vin would've given anything just then to have the right words. He rested his hands on her upper arms. "You've got me."

She closed her eyes.

"We're all in your corner. Buck, JD…all of us."

Kaylee trembled slightly under his hands and Vin could have kicked himself just then. There was one person who wasn't in her corner right now. Ezra's unspoken name filled the room louder than if Vin had shouted it.

"He…" Vin started, then clamped his mouth shut. He wasn't going to tell her that Ezra would come around. He had no idea if that stubborn, thick-headed fool would stop assuming the worst. And at this point, he wasn't even sure he wanted him to. Anyone who would push a woman like Kaylee aside didn't deserve her.

"It's fine, Vin," Kaylee said, her voice nothing more than a choked whisper. She was trembling enough that Vin doubted any of it was fine. He rubbed her arms lightly.

"Ok," he said, willing to drop it before she got more upset. He stepped away. "Maybe we should just head over to that sandwich place. Get away from here for lunch."

Kaylee didn't look like she had heard him. Her knuckles were white where they gripped the duster.

"Kaylee?" he asked.

She squeezed her eyes shut, took a breath that pained Vin to watch, and let it out unsteadily.

When she opened her eyes, she didn't look any better. She kept her eyes on her duster and went back to her cleaning. "You probably should be getting home soon," she said quietly.

Vin thought of home. Inez moved in with Buck, the two of them preparing for their baby. Mary over at Chris' more often than not. JD and Casey with their differences sorted out and the innocence of young love around them. Nathan and Rain. Going back to be surrounded by the happy couples didn't hold any appeal. But he didn't tell Kaylee that. Because that wasn't what was really keeping him in Nebraska. He looked at her, exhaustion sloping her thin shoulders nothing compared to the hopelessness heavy over her.

"I ain't goin' nowhere," he said. Not until he knew she was ok. That she—and her baby—would be taken care of. And if that meant staying and being the one to take care of her, he wasn't about to hesitate.

Kaylee didn't agree to his sticking around, but she didn't argue either. The went back to their tasks, Vin keeping an eye on Kaylee, every time she paused to catch her breath, or winced from the headache he was pretty sure she was fighting off today.

There were only two rooms to clean and by now they had their system down. They went back to the motel office after a quick stop in the laundromat to start a load of the bedding and towels. Kaylee kept her thoughts to herself.

In the office, Kaylee went behind the desk and flipped through the mail that had been left there, throwing away a couple envelopes and taking the rest to set on a desk in the office at the back.

When she came out of the back office, she spoke without looking at him. "If you want to grab lunch, you can. I should stay here in case someone comes."

Vin frowned. "I'll call for delivery," he said.

Kaylee didn't argue.

"I'm thinking a BLT sounds good," Vin said. "Anything sound good to you?"

Kaylee shook her head slightly.

Vin pulled out his phone, looking up the name of the sandwich shop a motel guest had mentioned the day before.

He tapped the phone screen to dial the number. He was halfway through giving the kid on the phone their order when Kaylee tensed.

Vin followed her eyes to the car pulling up in the lot.

He looked back at her. She looked frozen to the spot. Her green eyes fixed on the figure behind the wheel, hardly visible through the dark windows. She couldn't see the man, so she must know the car.

"What?" Vin said, the voice on the phone drawing his attention. Something about a computer glitch. She needed him to repeat his order.

Kaylee's teeth bit down on her bottom lip, but she was going around the desk.

Vin ignored the kid on the phone and stopped her. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Kaylee glanced at him, her already tight features drawing even more. "I'll be right back."

"Hey," Vin said. "Who's that out there?"

Kaylee shook her head slightly. "Just…stay inside. Please."

With a pleading look for him, she turned away and went outside.

Vin watched as a scrawny guy got out of the car. Kaylee's hair blew across her face, but she didn't make a move to brush it aside, folding her arms tightly in front of her instead.

"Are you there?" the voice on the phone said. "Hello?"

"Yeah, I'm here," Vin said absently, watching Kaylee's shoulders shift uncomfortably as the man squared off in front of her. He took a couple steps closer to the door. The man said something to Kaylee and her mouth tightened. Vin missed what the person on the phone said.

"Just deliver two sandwiches. Any two," he said. He gave the address of the motel and hung up. Kaylee winced at whatever the man was saying and spoke, her hands gripping at her upper arms tight enough that Vin wondered if she would leave marks. He slipped his phone into his pocket and took a couple steps closer to the glass front door, watching Kaylee with the man.

He narrowed his eyes as the man got closer to Kaylee and her entire body went rigid. The man was vaguely familiar. Vin put his hand on the door, then paused. He knew men like that. Had been in enough foster homes to encounter them. Bullies. He didn't want to make anything worse for Kaylee. And he wanted to respect her boundaries. She clearly wanted to handle this.

He stayed like that, every nerve on edge, watching and ready to go out there.

#

Ezra parked his truck haphazardly on the brick driveway. He got out, glancing at the fountain—the fountain in the desert, but nothing was too impractical, showy, or extravagant for Maude Standish—on his way to the front door.

The home was a mix of old world charm and classic Southwest architecture. Ezra, however, knew the home wasn't more than five years old. Built courtesy of the prenup from marriage number four and maintained with the alimony of husbands one through three. And her income from scams and schemes.

He pressed the bell.

He had been to this house only a handful of times, usually if there was a rodeo passing through nearby. He hadn't ever intentionally sought Maude out. Not in years.

But this was what he deserved now.

The door opened and Maude's expression didn't change immediately upon seeing her son standing there.

Ezra kept his face just as neutral. No one watching them would ever guess at the maelstrom of history swirling beneath the surface.

Maude made a show of looking behind Ezra, toward his truck and the empty drive and landscaped yard. "Just you? Your bride didn't join you?"

Ezra leveled a look at Maude.

She smiled slightly, then stepped back and opened the heavy walnut door wider for him.

Ezra stepped into the house. The gut wrenching guilt, shame and tightness of simmering anger didn't flood him like it normally did when facing Maude. Probably because it was all already there. Had been there since the day he had sent Kaylee away. Realized what an absolute fool he was.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Maude asked congenially.

He shook his head. He was going to face this visit stone cold sober.

"Well, then, can I get you an appetizer? I'm assuming you'll stay for dinner?"

Ezra nodded once.

Maude gestured toward the patio in the rear of the house. "Make yourself comfortable."

Comfortable was the one thing he wouldn't be.

Ezra followed Maude through the foyer to the gourmet kitchen, all stainless steel and white marble. He continued on through the wall of glass that overlooked the patio and pool, sliding the door open and leaving the cool of the interior for the blazing Tucson sun.

He found slight refuge in the pergola on the far end of the patio.

Maude joined him too soon, a tray with crackers and some sort of spread alongside two bottles of water.

Ezra took the bottle of water.

"Do you have anything left?" Maude asked, without preamble.

Ezra didn't pretend he didn't understand the question. "Minus a few thousand dollars and a truck."

Maude smiled slightly. "Good job. I didn't raise you to be an easy target."

Ezra felt anything but good. He didn't care about the money. His truck. Everything he had lost was in a green eyed, coppery blonde, smiling, impulsive, trouble making package. That was what kept him up at night.

#

Kaylee gripped her arms tighter, crossing her arms in front of her like a shield. But nothing could shield her from Cletus.

"You really are dumber than anyone gave you credit for," Cletus said, closing the car door behind him.

Kaylee's teeth dug into the inside of her cheek.

"You think I'm patient?" Cletus asked. "You think I'm just gonna wait around forever for your minimum wage to pay back what you owe?"

"I'm paying you back," Kaylee said tightly. She gripped her arms tighter.

"You're fallin' behind," Cletus said. His eyes drew a bead on her. Kaylee steeled herself. She just had to stay upright. Not cave in and give up. Not today. "You keep payin' me what you paid me last week and you're goin' to end up owin' more each week. Interest don't add up slow."

Interest. Cletus' interest was changeable, depending on his mood. She was never going to pay him off.

"I'm trying—" she started.

"Tryin'?" Cletus repeated. He took a step closer. "When I leave an anonymous tip about the heroin sold in this town and the cops find a brick in your house, in your truck, you and your ma will both be locked up. That what you want? Your ma to go through withdrawal in prison, with nothing but the hallucinations, screaming in pain?" He moved his face into hers, his arm snaking behind her and hand gripping the back of her neck. "You think you're gonna like that?"

Before Kaylee could answer, stammer out a promise that she'd keep paying Cletus off, a voice broke in.

"You doin' ok out here?"

Cletus' dark eyes broke away from Kaylee, looking toward the voice.

Kaylee stepped quickly away from Cletus.

Vin looked between her and Cletus, his mellow words belied by the tension in his stride. His hands were loose at his side, but everything told of how ready he was. Vin moved to Kaylee's side.

"Haven't met you yet," Vin said to Cletus, more warning than warmth. "I'm Vin. Kaylee's friend." He managed to make 'friend' sound like a threat.

Cletus didn't step away. Kaylee's stomach lurched and she thought she might be sick. Vin was still healing. His concussion, his broken ribs. She had seen how slowly he moved first thing in the morning. He couldn't take a hit from Cletus. She wanted to tell Vin not to do this. It wasn't worth it.

But then Cletus must have read something in Vin's face because he stepped back.

"Just catchin' up with my girl, here," Cletus said. The bravado in his voice was undone with the nervous glance he gave Vin. "I gotta get goin'." He went back toward his car. "You and me will talk—" he started saying to Kaylee. Vin took a step closer to Kaylee. Cletus hesitated, looking again at Vin. Cletus didn't finish whatever he was going to say. But it didn't matter. Kaylee knew what he wanted to say. What the promised follow up would be.

Vin stayed right at her side while Cletus started his car, backed it out of the parking space, and pulled out of the lot.

Kaylee was aware of Vin watching the car go. She wrapped her arms around herself again, wishing they provided some sort of security. She kept her eyes trained on the ground, icy patches of asphalt and gravel showing through the snow dusting across with every breeze.

"You ok?" Vin asked again. But this time it wasn't a warning for Cletus. This time his voice was heavy with worry. For her.

Kaylee shifted her shoulders, as if that would make his concern for her slide away. She couldn't bring herself to tell him she was fine. The lie she had said for months to Ezra—to Vin, to Mary…to everyone—she couldn't choke it out.

Vin looked in the direction Cletus had driven off, then put a hand lightly between her shoulder blades. "It's cold out here," he said.

Kaylee hadn't noticed. His hand was warm through her sweatshirt, but once they got back into the motel office, the heat of the building made her realize how icy her hands were. Her cheeks stung from the wind outside.

Vin went to the small coffeepot in the corner of the carpeted area that could hardly be called a lobby and chose the carafe with hot water. He ripped open a tea bag and dropped it into the Styrofoam cup.

He pressed it into her hands. Kaylee wrapped her fingers around it.

"That the man we ran into at the café?" Vin asked.

Kaylee hadn't realized Vin had noticed Cletus at the café. The cup in her hand creased. She made an effort to loosen her grip.

"He the one who's been callin' you?" Vin asked.

Kaylee's eyes jerked to him. Her heart thudded heavily against her ribs. He wasn't supposed to see this side of her life here.

"He's—he's my mom's friend," she said, hoping desperately that Vin wouldn't press for more than her nonanswer.

Vin's silence made it clear that he knew how much she wasn't actually saying.

Kaylee moved away from him. It physically hurt to shut out someone who was so willing to be a friend. But there was no way she was dragging Vin into her mess. Into more of her mess than he was already in, staying with her and her mom, trying to get the house heated and filled with food.

She took a sip of the warm tea. The warmth eased past the knot in her throat.

She took another sip, this one rebelling against the churning in her stomach. She kept her back to Vin, not sure what she should—could—say to him.

"I meant it," came Vin's quiet voice behind her.

Kaylee didn't want to talk about this. She wanted to pretend Cletus had never shown up. That Vin had never seen him.

"You got me," Vin said. "You got people to help you."

But not Ezra, her heart cried out silently. Not the one person she wanted more than anyone.

The phone on the desk rang and Kaylee set aside her cup, going to the desk without looking at Vin. She answered it, wishing her voice sounded slightly steadier. She jotted down the message for Henny, the motel owner, and when she hung up, she felt like she was on more even footing.

Vin leaned back against the counter holding the coffee maker. "You'll tell me if things get too much," he said.

No. "Of course."

Vin's eyes held hers and Kaylee was sure he could see that things were already too much.

"I'm gonna go check the laundry," Vin said finally.

The door closed behind him and Kaylee finally dropped into the chair behind the desk. She let her head drop forward into her hands.

#