Chapter 6

"Okay, that was the most insane thing I've ever heard!" Amita declared when the group gathered in front of the bath house, far from Larry's tent.

"Larry's had some pretty crazy theories over the years, but none as unhinged as this," Charlie agreed.

"Let's take a step back and examine the facts here," Don tried to keep a clear head. "Part of the shuttle's wreckage was found in the Pacific Northwest. And you know what's in that area?"

"Bigfoot?" offered Charlie.

Don shot him a withering look. "No, one of the highest concentrations of hallucinogenic mushrooms in North America, that's what."

"So you're saying Larry ran away from the crash and started consuming massive amounts of those mushrooms?" Alan speculated.

"If that's the only food he could find, yes, it's possible," Don shrugged.

"He's been surviving on those things for six years?!" Robin said with disgusted horror.

"He must've followed the crops, moving south as he decimated them," Charlie theorized.

"Good heavens, the brain damage could very well be permanent by now!" cried Alan.

Charlie rubbed his chin. "There is something we can try. It's a little unorthodox, but it's a new approach I read about in a psychiatric journal."

"Does it involve a straightjacket?" Alan wondered.

Charlie shook his head. "Everyone come with me. We'll need some flashlights and hooded sweatshirts."

By 11 p.m., Larry still hadn't fallen asleep. Every time he was on the verge, the faint rustling of a small creature sent new waves of panic down his spine.

Soon, other sounds joined the nighttime cacophony: faint wailing sounds, mixed with strange clicks and thumps. Those were not squirrels or raccoons. Something otherworldly was slowly approaching Larry's tent. He knew from the goosebumps covering every inch of skin.

The suddenly, for a full minute, the sounds stopped. Larry held his breath, not daring to blink. Had the entities really moved on? Why leave so abruptly, without transmitting a message as they had so many times before? Something's not right, he fretted. They've never passed by like this before…

BAM! A beam of light shone through the tent, practically blinding him. Shielding his eyes, he cried out and struggled to sit up.

"Hello?" he called out shakily. "I'm here! BabyGoop 12 is ready to receive your next message!"

A loud hissing filled the air, and the beam of light split in two. Through the hissing he could barely hear some words:

"Sleep paralysis… Montezuma's revenge… green children of Woolpit… Saskatchewan… Brussels sprouts…"

Larry faltered. "Wait, slow down! I don't recognize this pattern…"

But the words only quickened, and soon his head was spinning. Then strange, bulbous silhouettes appeared, undulating in supernatural ways. He couldn't tell where one being ended and the other began. The stimuli was overloading Larry's sleep-deprived brain, and the breaking point finally came when he heard one phrase loud and clear:

"NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!"

"AAAHHH!" Larry ran screaming from the tent.

He made it two yards before tripping over the RV's electrical line. Sparks flew everywhere, followed by the smell of burnt hair. Then there was silence. The Eppes clan rushed over, fearing the worst.

"He's been electrocuted!" Charlie exclaimed.

Don stooped down. "He's still got a pulse."

"Larry? Larry?" Charlie started slapping the unconscious man's cheeks. "Larry, can you hear me?"

After a few tense minutes, Larry's eyes fluttered open at last. There was a collective sigh of relief.

"Are you okay?" Charlie pleaded. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two… why do I have this awful headache?" Larry winced, sitting up.

"We're so sorry, Larry!" Amita apologized, wracked with guilt.

"We never meant for you to get hurt," said Charlie.

Larry's eyes couldn't seem to focus. "What do you mean? What happened?"

Don explained, "We pranked you. Charlie thought if you encountered 'fake' aliens, it might cure you from believing in real ones."

"Yeah, but we weren't expecting electroshock therapy to get thrown into the mix!" Alan said.

"Aliens?" scoffed Larry, irritated. "Who said anything about believing in aliens?"

The Eppes men exchanged hopeful glances.

"Hey Larry, see that squirrel over there?" Alan pointed.

Larry shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

Charlie clapped Larry on the back and broke out in a grin. "It worked!"

"Though we'll never be sure whether it was our theatrics or the electrocution that did it," Alan mentioned.

"Who cares? All that matters is Larry Fleinhart is back to normal!" Charlie helped him to his feet.

"'Normal' being a relative term," Don winked at his wife, who responded by making some odd noises.

"Aaah… oooh…"

"All right, you can knock that off now. The prank's over," Don laughed. But his smile faded when he looked closer and realized Robin wasn't doing it to be funny. "Oh my gosh, are you in labor?"

Robin nodded painfully. "Looks like your father was right about jinxing things!"

Isaac Eppes was born shortly after three in the morning, and fairly healthy despite his early arrival. Charlie and Amita visited as long as they could keep their eyes open. Returning to the campground just before dawn, they passed out while Alan extended their camping reservation and prepared to entertain the kids the next few days.

Larry remained at the hospital longer than anyone expected. Try as he might, he couldn't stop holding the tiny newborn. Larry was back to feeling insignificant in the face of such things. And to discover that his grand adventure among aliens was all just a psychotropic dream… he really had nothing to show for the last six years.

Don woke up to get some water and squeezed Larry's shoulder. "How you holding up?"

"Me? I'm okay. You and Robin are the ones who deserve all the attention."

"No, you matter too, Larry. We care about you."

"That counts for something, I guess," he said wistfully, staring at Isaac's tiny face. Now that his mind was recovering its clarity, certain thoughts and memories were flooding back. One face in particular stood out from all the rest… a kind face, with a ready smile and warm eyes…

"Hey Don?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's Megan these days?"

The end!

There you have it! Hope it was much fun to read as it was to write.