Do you know what's hard? Not liking girls but you still believe in God. Either you marry someone out of duty not of love or being celibate. I chose celibacy, I don't want to torture a woman because of my preference and I don't want to defy God. I have sinned too many times in my life.
I just want to be a good man. A righteous man. I just want to be decent.
Happy Ramadhan everyone.
Tickler: I don't know I've always want to write it again, but I dont have the time. Maybe I'll consider it.
…..
"Tell me, Lord Gaunt, why are you here?" an old man asked Leirra. While motioning the servant to pour them some whine. "It is rare for a noble much less as young as you to be so generous, that you want to feed and teach the smallfolk of Kings Landing."
"Could you add water to this?" The servant complied, adding water to the cup. "Thank you." Leirra smiled at the servant, making the old man and the servant surprised by his friendliness.
'Either the rumor is true or this is just a cleverly put-up ruse.' think the old hand of the king. He had heard about this new young lord. The last member and heir to the House of Gaunt, the house that was previously his enemy in the war to depose the mad king. Of course, he has to keep an eye on him if he has some treasonous ideas to avenge his uncle and father. At first, the rumor is tame, a brilliant young lord that is also talented with the sword like his uncle, that news alone, however impressive it is, is no concern for him.
Then, he made news by funding a trade mission to the far east, and like everyone else, he thought that was a stupid move, sending a trade mission while so young and inexperienced to Essos and the land beyond and not partaking in it himself is a recipe for disaster. These captains are famous for their betrayal, but by some sheer luck, the captains he sent out didn't just take the money and become a pirate or rogue merchant like every ilk of their kind.
So successful is his venture that now a port is already made in his territory to just accommodate his trade ships which in turn attracted more ships and merchants. The effect that is felt is that now fewer ships are docking in King's Landing as the merchants prefer the new less crowded port and the far better air was another main reason.
The young lord took a small sip of the debased whine, "Is it so hard to believe to do this for the common people?"
"Yes, you are not yet knighted, not yet arranged for any marriage, and obscenely rich for your age and size of your house." Jon Arryn said. "I have to be suspicious when a young, possibly ambitious lord that is my adopted son's former enemy just comes here like nothing ever happened and offers to use his wealth to feed the people of king's landing. Of course, I'm suspicious."
" If you think that I want to be yours or the king's squire or anyone important, you don't have to worry, I'm already a squire for my master of arms. And I do not intend to marry the young princess she is to… Never mind." The last part made Jon raise an eyebrow. "The important thing is, I'm not here to play the game."
"You are being unconvincing," Jon told the boy like he was lecturing a grandson.
"Oratory skill is never my forte," Leirra said a word he doesn't understand or even knew the meaning of.
"Forte?" asked Jon.
Leirra widens his eyes, "It means something I excel at."
'His speech pattern is odd. It's like he's trying to mix the common tongue with foreign words.' Jon shakes his head. "In any case, you have to put forward a more convincing argument why I should let your soup kitchen and school open."
The young man groans, forgetting any decorum in front of the Lord of the Vale and the hand of the king. "What can I do to remove your suspicion?"
"So fast to relent? I expected more from you." Jon was disappointed by the boy's weak spine.
"As I said I'm not here to play the game. If I wanted to, I wouldn't be here. Essos would be a far greater prospect." The Boy took another sip spouting those treasonous words like it was nothing.
"Brave for you to say loyalty to me," said Jon. "And incredibly stupid."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not loyal to those Targs. Multiple incestuous relationships, forgetting their duty, and the kidnapping of an underage girl. They are the antithesis of what I stand for. Wielder of magic, heretic all of them." He said the last part with hatred that Jon didn't realize an 11-year-old boy could have. But his anger made him confirm a rumor, the boy is pious, too pious bordering on zealotry.
"Then why do you say you would rather work together with them?" Jon asked curiously.
"Just an old prophecy that compels me, you don't have to worry about me running about to them." So he could also set his belief if something is more important to him, fascinating.
"You're a pious boy I take it?" Jon has a plan.
"With every Atom of my heart, yes," Leirra said without no hesitation.
Jon again raised an eyebrow at his choice of foreign words."Then, Leirra Gaunt, in the name of the seven and the old gods swear me an oath," Jon said. "That you will protect the realm and never harm the king and queen and their children. Do you accept this oath?"
"Is this the only way for me to gain your trust?" Hesitation is in his voice.
"Yes, unless you want to tell me your true loyalty." Jon can't help but smirk, a pious man that borderline on zealotry like him will never break their oath.
Leirra fell into silence ruminating his option with sweat.
"Fine," he clicked his tongue. "I, Leirra Gaunt, here swore an oath in the name of the seven, and the old gods from henceforward will protect the realm and never harm the king and queen and their children. Now do you trust me?"
"Not yet," Jon told him, "But you do have my permission to open your soup kitchen and school."
"That's all I want to hear." Leirra stood up from his chair and bowed to Jon. "I bid you goodbye my lord," he made his way to the door, exited the room, and was promptly greeted by the septa that accompanied him.
As Jon watches the boy leave, he smiled with a smirk.
"That's one enemy removed."
…..
"How's the meeting with the Lord Hand, m'lord? Does he agree?" Septa Alys is one of the septa that chose to follow my quest to help the smallfolk in all of Westeros. A kind and faithful woman. Most of the personnel that help me are from one who follows the faith of the seven in my territory and volunteered to help my foundation free of charge. Of course, I can't let them work without any reward. Every man and woman that helps me was given money twice what the average Westerosi makes in a year.
"Could be better; there are some things that I wish I didn't do, but overall it was fruitful," I replied. Walking to find my way out of the red keep with Alys following behind me. Taking tentative steps to descend from the tower of the hand.
"I'm sorry you wish you didn't do it?" She said, perplexed.
I sighed, "I swore to him to never hurt the king, the queen, and their children. Should've found a better way." I don't intend to hurt any of them, but knowing that Cersei Lannister is being unfaithful to his 'dear' husband with her brother of all people and her rotten behavior, it will make me have to follow her order when the king and the lord's hand dies. And trust me they will die, the old man is too old even if he isn't poisoned by Pycelle, and the king is drinking and whoring his way to death growing fatter and fatter, it's either he'll get a heart attack or he'll be infected by loverpox. If both of them die, then in the future I have to follow the queen's order or her parody of a Machiavellian father.
Not a good thing to expect in the future.
The septa raised her eyebrows, "And how's that a problem? Your family is always being suspected of treasonous acts. With this, they could alleviate some of those suspicions."
"It's not that simple," I shake my head.
"No, it is simple. And I don't know how you did not see this." She said almost in an exasperated tone.
"Since when did you become so sassy?" I looked at her mouth agape and raised an eyebrow.
"Since I realized that I'm working with a boy that is too naive to even not have ambition." She said plainly.
"You do realize you're only older than me by 7 years right?" I informed her.
" And that makes you only 11 years old." She made a good point.
"Anyhow," I try to steer the conversation elsewhere. "How's the soup kitchen been progressing?"
"You're not even subtle about it," She said in disbelief, as we entered the main castle of the red keep. "We're progressing well, we have most of the ingredient "logistics" as you call it running smoothly, and we've contacted the nearest Reacher lords to supply us with most of the produce. But we do have some problems."
"And that is?"
"We don't know how to serve them properly." She sighed." If we use wooden or steel utensils, those things will be stolen. We can't just make new bowls or spoons every time any of them are missing; the cost will soar."
"Why don't you just use bread as the bowl?" I offered suggestions
"Come again? Did you just say to use the bread as the bowl?" She stopped walking.
"Yeah," I looked back at her, "it's not that complicated."
"And the spoon if they want to eat the chunk of meat and vegetable?"
"flatbread," I answered her.
We stood in silence, her face guffawed and then facepalmed multiple times. "You and your damn ideas, why didn't I think of that!!"
"Alys, you're a Septa, Language!" I chastised her.
"Oh, shut up you," she rolled her eyes.
'I can't believe this woman is a septa.' I turn back forward only to almost stumble with someone else.
Green eyes and purple met, wearing Baratheon yellow and blond hair to match, accompanied by her lady-in-waiting. Taking a few seconds to process who's in front of me, I immediately bow to her. "Your majesty. It's nice to meet you here. " The "Princess" of Westeros, Myrcella Baratheon. Or Waters if I have to be technical.
The small girl was surprised and taken out of her depth but her royal education kicked in and she responded with a smile. "Likewise, Lord…"
"Gaunt, Leirra Gaunt," her face turned into confusion upon hearing my name. "Yes, I know, it's an effeminate name." You would think that I would hate her because of the nature of her birth, but no, I just hate her mother and real father.
"Ah, I see. What are you doing here Lord Gaunt?" She said in an insincere tone, her conversation with me is merely courtesy and not curiosity.
"Requesting a permit for my foundation, your highness. I want to open a soup kitchen and a place to study for the common folk here in King's Landing." I sated her "curiosity."
"A Noble Cause my lord." She said with a fake smile, "Now if you excuse me, I have a study to attend." she bowed courteously.
I bowed back, "Yes, of course, I don't want to delay you any further, your Highness."
She left me a final smile and then left as fast as she could as if this scenario had already happened multiple times. 'Probably not wanting to be roped into an unwanted proposal, I could emphasize with that.'
"Well, that could've turned worse. Good job, m'lord." Said, Alys.
"It would've been better if I didn't meet her. Let's go, Alys."
….
3 months later
Today's a great day for Raena. The owner finally let her go outside and find them new clients they'd never met, just like her big sisters. The owner said if she could find a rich client and could entice him to enter, she could have more food for a week! That's like more than a plate of Puls!
It was getting boring inside the house. She liked the normal air of kings landing, while the clients from outside the city always complain that the air "smelt like shit," she doesn't know what the difference is, and both of them always smell the same to her. No matter how much the clients hate the city's smell, she finds them to be much better than the smell inside her home. Less perfume and the dirty water the clients left with her sisters.
All her life, she only knew about her home, her mom even gave birth to her there. The owner, even though is not her father, treated her kindly! Whenever the client looks at her funny, he always praises her beauty. Because of that, more customers are always happy with her. And because more customers are happier with her, she always got more food! The owner always tried to show her first, so that he could give her more food. The owner cares about her.
While walking down the market, she spotted a large group of men and women lining up. Curious about the group of people and finding opportunities to find clients. She approached the crowd when the most heavenly smell greeted her senses. For a moment, she forgot about the air of Kings Landing. The scent that she picked up is so good that her stomach is rumbling.
She wants to eat it. The food will definitely be tasty. But she knows such delightful-smelling food must be expensive to eat. She doesn't have any money. Her sisters are always paid with money by the owner, she is always paid with food. The owner reasons that she was too little to hold her own money and convinces her, for now, to be only paid by food until she comes of age. She trusted the owner. The owner never lied to her.
Still, she would like to eat something different than puls. Raena would like to eat something different for once, eating apples, grapes, or even honey! A dream she knew wouldn't come to fruition. All of them are so expensive in King's Landing, even Reana's sisters have only eaten them once a year.
She gulped holding her empty stomach, her heart clenched by her tiny hands feeling an emotion she had felt before. A pain in her heart burning, wanting something that isn't hers. Watching silently as a woman in front of the line was given a bowl of bread.
'Why can't I have more food?' She thought sadly. She doesn't have the money to buy the tasty food but she really wants to eat it.
When the woman left the stall, Raena noticed something odd. The woman didn't pay for her food and just left with a happy smile. Raena may never be taught properly, but even she knows you must pay for something if you want something. Clients always pay when they want something. Raena reasons she must be seeing it wrong; the woman that was given the bread bowl must've paid beforehand. Yet, as more and more people never paid for their food, her eyes started to twinkle.
As another bread bowl was about to be given to another man, Rushed forward without thinking, cutting the line, "Can I have one?" She said with a pleading tone and drool dripping from her mouth.
The woman that manned the kitchen, a septa by the look of her clothing, was surprised by the sudden appearance of a haggard-looking child, who is giving her the most adorable face while asking for food while eyeing the bread bowl with her round eyes.
" Please," Raena asked with a raised squeaky tone. Her hope was dashed as the divine-smelling food was taken from the septa's hand by a man behind her.
"This is my portion if you want one, go back in line, kid." the man said mildly annoyed.
"Yeah, what he said, I haven't eaten for days!" another man from the back echoed his opinion.
"But- but I'm hungry," Raena said sadly.
"So? We're all hungry, go back in line!" The same man yelled. And a chorus of men women, and children nodded their heads.
Raena wanted to cry, she was so excited about eating something delicious, only to be disappointed. She wants this food, she really wants this food. And before she knew it she cried. Wiping her tears with her dirty clothing; leaving dirt on her cheeks.
"I only want to eat," she said meekly. No one heard her. No passerby even shared their glance. A crying child in the squalor is not their concern.
A hand grasped Raena's shoulder tenderly. Raena looks back and sees a young boy, undoubtedly older and taller than her. Black hair wearing simple black clothing and smiling so widely, a genuine smile, a smile full of warmth, and different from what she would usually get.
"What do we have here? A young lady, crying?" The boy clicks his tongue multiple times playfully. "Not while you're in front of me missy." He said with a toothy grin, putting his hand on Raena's armpits, he picked her up and set her aside from the line, tenderly the boy plopped Raena to the ground and kneel to meet her eye-to-eye.
"There-there no need to cry." He patted her head softly.
"I-I just want to e-eat," she sobbed.
The boy pulled a white handkerchief and wiped her face and cleaned her runny nose. "Blow your nose," he instructed Raena. Raena followed. The boy sniffed at Raena, he made a disturbed face but quickly hid it. "What's your name?"
"R-raena,"
"Raena, that's a pretty name." Complemented the boy. "Would it make it better for you if I gave you food?"
"Do-do I have to pay?" Raena slowly wiped her tears.
"Nope! Septa Alys! Do we have more bread for this lovely young lady?" Hollered the boy.
"Yes, my lord. I'll tell the girls to prepare for another one." the septa complied.
Raena could hardly believe it, a lord! A lord is so kind to her. And by the amount of food he is giving for free, he must be rich.
"You are a strange child," said the lord, " you wear perfumes despite your clothing being dirty and reek of…" The Lordling widens his eyes "How old are you Raena?"
Raena counted with her hand slowly, "One. Two…uhm five," at the final count, Raena showed the boy her finger that counted to seven. "I'm seven," she said proudly.
The boy took a deep breath. "And where do you live?" At this point, Raena is confused by the lord's question. She would never think that someone so young would be interested in her.
Pointing to where she is from, Raena suddenly smiled brightly, happy that the young lord was interested in her. Happy that the owner will probably have more food after this.
The young lord's breath hitched. The answer Raena gave him was the worst answer possible. A place that is full of debauchery of every kind. Where lust and unchecked emotion reign supreme. Where there, people are more animals than men and women, unable to control their deeper desires and letting their vain impulses control them. The young lord never had any problem with this kind of people, he didn't care about them if they did not disturb him. But this?!!? He is almost ready to burst.
"Milord, do you want to use me?" Raena said innocently excited to find another rich client. Surely, with this, the owner would give him more food. The young lord is so kind to her, surely he must be interested.
Instead of the answer, Raena wanted. The young lord chooses silence. A downcast look and tears started to fall. The young lord quickly wiped it and what Raena saw next terrified her.
Rage
It was only rage that Raena saw.
Confused by the young lord's action and afraid of it, Raena tries to convince him more. " I promise you, Milord, it will be great!!! I-i have done it multiple times and are good at it. So many clients are always happy because of me!" Raena's effort to convince the young lord proves to be ineffective. The Lord seemed angrier, not the response Raena wanted.
"Milord, here is the food for the child." The septa stood behind the young lord holding the bread bowl. The young lord stood up with a dark look on his face.
"Alys," he said coldly.
"Yes, milord?" The septa was surprised by the serious tone.
"I want you to clean this child in every nook and cranny. Make her tell you everything that had been done to her by the whore house owner." He said while clenching his fist and jaw.
"This child is…" The septa was horrified by what the young lord meant.
"Yes," the young lord said shortly. "And Alys, inform the guard that is with me to bring my weapon and theirs."
The septa grabbed Raena's hand making her closer to the septa. "It will be done, milord." Septa Alys escorted Raena to the back of the kitchen tightly holding her tiny little hands.
"Where are you taking me?" Raena looks at the towering Septa.
The septa smiled at Raena, "I'll be taking you somewhere safe, somewhere far happier."Explained the septa. "Child, do you know what a school is?"
"No," Answered Raena. "Is that food?"
The septa laughed," It is not, but you'll get more food from now on."
"Even honey?" She said with an expectant look.
"Yes, even honey."
As they walked to the back of the kitchen. The young lord watches silently. If there is one thing the young lord hates, it is to see a child being forced to such a fate. There will be no negotiation, NO MERCY!!!!
For today blood will be spilled.
Today will be marked as the massacre of iniquity.
……