Thanks for the concern about my preference, it's kind of heartwarming to see so many people trying to give me advice on how to accept myself. Unfortunately, for me, however, I couldn't abandon something I truly love, God.

It's kinda nice to vent on topics I can't tell other people,

Anyway, here's the fic

…..

A Soup Kitchen

Robert Baratheon doesn't want to rule. All these craven nobles and bastards leeching off of him for favors or the like disturb any peace he might have. They all expect him to be a warrior king, ruling them fairly with honor and justice to serve the realm. Instead, he spends his days drinking, eating, whoring, and shitting his way to an early grave.

He could hear their scorn against him, judging him from the back as if he couldn't hear all of their whispers. The warrior king had fallen into ineptitude, favoring being surrounded by whores and wine instead of quills and books.

All of their words fell on deaf ears to him. Why should he listen to them? Every damn day the crown sat atop his head, a reminder of everything he had lost—something he thought would make him happy and change him for the better, now a symbol of all his suffering.

Lynna, that lonely flower of the North; the love of his life kidnapped by the Dragonspawn, Rhaegar Targaryen. His hubris brought half the realm against him and his family, and the end of a 300-year dynasty. The red rubies of that pretty boy are now scattered across the Trident, lost along with the realm's respect for their dynasty.

When he was offered the Kingship, he was reluctant. Jon and Ned pleaded for him to take it, the blood of the dragon flowed from his grandmother, the very same blood he hated so much flowing inside him and his children. He was furious! All the blood he had spilled was not for some petty crown and a pointy chair, it was to save her and only her. And they wanted him to be king! But Jon - Jon always has a way with words. Tywin Lannister, that old lion from Casterly Rock; circling the realm for power. He couldn't let that happen, Robert may be a drunkard and a horrible person, but he's not stupid enough to offer the realm on a silver platter to men like Tywin.

With a heavy heart, he accepts the crown.

And his name is hailed across the kingdom.

He had won all the glory a warrior would wish for. All he wanted now was a quiet life with Lynna, raising their children and transforming himself from a manwhore who treated women poorly and whose body reeked of alcohol into something else. Lynna had made him want to be a better man, a good person, perhaps even a pious one. Her death had destroyed all those dreams.

One week after he was proclaimed king of the Andals, the Rhoynar, blah blah all that stupid title, he sends Ned to save his sister, Lyanna, in Dorne. When news tells him that Ned is on his way to King's Landing, he is hopeful he will finally meet her again. He prepares everything for the return of the love of his life; orders the still-recovering city to prepare for their return. Ned and Lyanna would have walked on a carpet made of threads of gold if Jon hadn't advised him otherwise.

The face Ned made when entering the throne room told him everything he needed to know.

He still remembers that day when doesn't want to; all the wine in the world couldn't make him forget.

It was midday, and the sun rose high, casting its light through the decorative glass behind his throne and illuminating the walls on either side of the room. More than a hundred guests, ranging from knights to high lords such as Jon, attended, awaiting the would-be queen of the newly reforged realm.

Robert sits on the Iron Throne, every bit the image of a young, dashing warrior king, handsome with a well-chiseled body and face. He wears a fine tunic colored with the Baratheon yellow, embroidered in intricate patterns, and a form-fitting jacket adorned with gold and jewels.

(HENRY CAVILL IS SO FREAKING HOT!!! Cough2, sorry about that .)

When his dear friend entered the room, he was so excited that he walked towards him and hugged him, forgoing any customs.

" Ned! Hahaha. Glad to see you back," he embraces his friend. "Where's Lyanna?"

The silent face of his friend with his usual stoic persona not breaking made him worry.

" Where's Lyanna?" he asked again in a faltering voice, unknowingly taking a back step." Ned, where is she?!"

" Robert," his old friend gripped his hand. Tears are about to fall yet his friend holds it. " Lyanna's dead." Robert was silent. " Robert, I'm sorry."

The throne room broke into chatter, horrified gasps could be heard as people heard and digested the news. The room was loud with an abuzz of unimportant conversation to Robert anyway.

" Everyone out! I don't care if you're a lord, out!!" he screamed.

Jon tried to calm him down, " Robert…"

" I said out, Jon!" he ordered a final time.

The king was left alone; the fury that had once been directed at his enemies now turned into maddened grief for the dearly loved.

For ten years that grief consumed him. It took everything from him. The pain still lingers, the golden crown always reminds him of what he lost, of past glory and triumph, now a hollow shell filled with nothingness.

A King who achieves it all gains nothing in the end.

All that whoring did not make him better; every tavern wench he fucked only served to reinforce the image of Lyanna staring down at him, judgmentally, as if he were breaking the love he had for her. All that wine did not soothe him either; every time he woke up on some floor of the castle, he felt like shit. He wanted to improve, wanted to be a proper father for his children, a proper husband for that mad woman Cersei, and a proper king who ruled justly, but he couldn't do it. He was too far gone, he would never change, and maybe that was for the better.

The whoring might have made him feel like an unfaithful bastard, but it did give him some satisfaction, and the drinks helped him forget some nights by just drinking until he was asleep like a dead rock. None of them could ever make him happy, but it was nice.

He recently took up hunting to relive his glory days, using the time he had to share stories with Barristan and his younger brothers Renly and Stannis. They didn't like it, but it was the only time that wasn't filled with arguments between the brothers.

It was not a happy life, but it was something.

Then the news of the blood spilled by an upstart young lord reached his ears. He was mad, and he didn't understand why but he knew only one thing: he would kill the one who did it.

That day Jon watched with confusion as his son marched into the throne room, taking the mantle of judge for this trial. Usually, it was his job to do so. Robert would often go off to whatever he was doing while Jon did most of the ruling. Sat atop a chair he rarely sat upon, Robert now for the first time in years, a king. Jon knew why Robert was so angry and felt conflicted; on the one hand, seeing him take the mantle seriously was heartwarming to Robert's former ward, and on the other hand, couldn't he have found a better motivator?

Ser Barristan Selmy and two other king's guards, march with the king toward the throne room. Surprising everyone who was in the room. News travels fast of the king's unusual move and many more people attended what was usually a barren event.

The queen, guarded by her kingslaying brother, was also present; it seems the news that Robert is doing his job as king is interesting enough for her to attend the trial. Her son, Crown Prince Joffrey, watched with interest, expectantly waiting for his father to deliver the king's justice to this wretched man. A sadistic grin briefly appeared on his face, but he quickly hid it, as his mother had trained him. Princess Myrcella watched from the sidelines with her younger brother Tommen holding her hand slightly behind their mother and older brother. It was her usual station with Tommen; their mother often forgot about them in favor of Joffrey.

The shackles of the chains that confounded the criminal were amplified by the halls of the red keep. The crowd that gathered to see the trial was also quiet. Rumor has spread about this barbaric mass murderer of a man. They say he is brutish, unkempt, and savage. A villain of unmatched savagery only such a man could spill so much blood indiscriminately.

Jon stood beside Robert, acting as a counselor to him. Jon already knew who had done it and found it believable that such a person could be uncontrolled by their emotions. Jon looked at Robert, who was unusually silent.

The gate that guarded the throne room was knocked and opened. The suspect entered, guarded by gold cloaks, gasps, and surprise was spread across the throne room; the large barbaric man they expected was instead a mere boy barely approaching eleven-name days. The boy walked slowly, visible scars and wounds still present on his body. Any doubts anyone had that this boy had killed men double his size were now destroyed. The boy stopped in the middle of the throne room, his face hardened steel, not once showing a face of guilt.

Robert's fury had now turned into confusion. Is this some sort of farce? A sick joke? They expected him to believe that a ten-year-old boy had killed so many men and burned part of the capital alone.

Jon, sensing Robert's conflict, decides to speak first, "Lord Leirra Gaunt, you stand trial for your action of murder and arson, how do you plead?"

Robert couldn't help but snort at his name, "Leirra Gaunt what a stupid name, are you girl?" As the king jokes, laughter echoed throughout the room. The boy didn't respond silently gazing through the room until his eyes fell on one of the king's guards. He doesn't care if he is in the presence of the king or being a subject of mockery, pure anger was visible to all to see to one ser Merryn Trant. Robert could see that Merryn is disturbed by the boy, but chose to shrug it off.

"My king and Lord Hand," the boy began. "I would like a witness to come forward in defense of my trial."

'So the boy has some spine,' thought Robert.

"No," Jon said coldly. "There's no need for a witness. Your action was known by everyone. This trial is merely a formality."

"I would request again for a witness of my choice to come forwa…"

"Shut your tongue boy, the hand had his reason, and I'm inclined to agree with him," Robert said with fury. How dare the boy be bold enough to be this insolent? He stands before a king and his court and he shows no respect.

The boy did not falter, his stance growing more confident. "And here I thought you would rule justly. What would the rest of the realm think of you? My king. Judging a child without letting him defend himself. Oh, what a scandalous scenario."

Robert's blood is now finally at a boiling point

"That's it!" Robert was about to order the boy to be sent to rot in the cell by the guards, only to be stopped by Jon's calming hand. "Get your hand off, Jon!

"Robert," came Jon's placating tone, "he's right. We can't just throw him to the crypt without reason. The rumor will spread about how you handle this."

"Damn the rumors! Damn, those mummers they tell! I don't care if my name is being talked about by some piss-stained brain-dead lords and ladies. I want him rotting in a cell!!" Robert screamed.

"Robert, It's not the lords I'm worried about, it's the small folk. He has influence with the Septons and everyone he has fed; that means almost half of King's Landing, we can't have a riot because of some avoidable mistake." reasoned Jon.

Robert clicks his tongue. Of course, he has to. That boy is smart enough to have influence in high places. This was not the first time Robert had heard his name. Leirra Gaunt, some minor young lord in the Crownlands, uses the money he made from counting copper and trade to feed the hungry and teaches all lowborn he could how to read and write what a waste of time and effort, that was the first thing he thought when hearing the hearsay about him. At first, he assumes that the boy did it because of the naivety of his youth; now not so much, using his influence to get what he wants, his image of naivety is now untangled.

"Fine! Send in your damn witness!" Robert said angrily. The Lord Hand ordered the guard to bring the boy witness.

When she arrives, she fearfully walks toward the boy with her little feet and hides behind the boy's back.

It was Ser Merryn Trant that spoke first. "Is this a joke? Do you expect us to believe a word from a little girl?!" Ser Merryn's words were greeted by many nods even from Robert, but he couldn't help notice the desperation in his words.

"My Lord Hand, do you remember the oath I made?" said the boy.

"Yes, you promised to never hurt the royal family and protect them." Jon clarified. Robert has heard of this oath; he was drunk at the time but he still remembers some part of it when Jon told him about it.

"By the look of this girl, you know what her previous occupation did, don't you not?" Now Jon was unnerved knowing what the boy meant. Robert understands by just glancing at the girl's posture and bruises add to where the boy likely found her…

"Then consider this my way to protect the royal family," he focused on the princess, "one member specifically." The queen who no matter how cruel she is loved his children, made Myrcella closer to her side surprising her. The kingslayer also grabbed the hilt of his sword glaring warily at his surroundings.

"Are you suggesting that someone wants the princess for her body?" Jon asked again.

"Yes, and he's in this very room." the boy glared at Merryn. "Raena, do you know that knight? The one who stands beside the king?"

the poor girl timidly looked over to who the boy pointed and nodded. "Ser Meryn Trant, he always requested me. He's really rough." the girl said childless and innocently, not realizing the weight of her words.

Robert now realizes why the boy is using the girl as a witness, and cold fury now turned to Merryn Trant, the thought of her child being guarded by such a man made him want to kill him right here right now. Ned told him that Lynna was possibly raped by the Dragonspawn now the same possibility could happen to her daughter!! He wishes he was still the young man that smashed Rheagar's chest!

"Lies! This is slander!" Ser, no, Meryn Trant defends himself. "Will you truly believe words from a girl?!"

"And you are better? You have a reputation, Merryn, a reputation for breaking your oath. Everyone here knows what a piece of honor-less nasty bastard you are." The boy speaks with confidence.

Robert also knows about the reputation Trant has. He only chose to ignore it because frankly, he does not give a fuck. Why should he? He has no interest in ruling. The Kingsguard also served for life breaking that tradition seemed too consequential, the order is the reflection and image of the king, and if the king dismisses one well… But the allegation of one of his members with children?!

"My king and Lord hand, I confess that I am guilty and wish to be judged by the seven in a trial of combat and I request that Ser Meryn be my enemy."

"Granted," Robert granted his request.

"My king…."

"Shut your damn mouth, oathbreaker, take your sword out, and prove to all of us if he's wrong or not!" ordered Robert. " Guards! Free the boy's hand and call the nearest Septon, let's get this done now!! I'm not going to sit on this chair all day!" The guard complied, letting the boy free from his metal chains, and then left the room. "Boy, do you have a sword?"

"Mine was confiscated, my king," he answered. Robert looked at Barristan who was shocked by the turn of events but was perceptive enough to catch Robert's signal and handed his sword toward the Boy. As he inspected the sword he smiled.

"Take care of it," Ser Barritan warns the boy. The boy only nodded. And Ser Barristan steps away.

More guards were entering the throne room forming a protective circle for the guest. The boy entered the circle with Ser Meryn following him.

The two combatants glare at each other. No talk between them.

The nearest Septon that the guards dragged from somewhere was now present in the room already Informed of what had happened. The Septon bowed to the king and addressed the room. " This combat will be judged by the seven for they are impartial. Ser Meryn Trant, will you accept Lord Gaunt's challenge?"

"Yes," the man replied.

"Then let this holy fight commence!!!"

……

Finding out that Merryn was a frequent visitor to Raena was highly predictable. In the show, it was already hinted that the man is a scum of the lowest level.

I thought that just giving people food, cloth, and education is enough to change the world, but there is something you can't change with kindness alone. What good is it for me to do all of that if more will suffer if I don't free them? The mistreatment of children is one of them, as fight clubs, whore houses, and even Varys' little birds are always present. If it weren't for Raena, I would have forgotten about the other crime in this universe.

I know my move to kill all the people in the red-light district at flea bottom was idiotic, but what would you do in my position? Seeing a child walking with revealing dirty clothes offering me her body? My mind just snapped, I can't think straight. I have power, I'm a lord, and a lord must protect the common people. You can't expect me not to use that power for good. You can't expect me to ignore all those atrocities!

I killed them and also ordered my guard to kill them. The victim I let live but the masters I killed as many as I can

And because of that, I was the only survivor. Because the guards swore their life to me dead because of my hubris and uncontrolled emotion.

And now I am here, fighting for my life and again trying to solve my problem by killing somebody. A monster but he's still human.

I'm at a disadvantage here despite me being more agile and skilled if what the book said is true about him not worrying about being in the Kingsguard. He's wearing armor, while I'm not, in combat the myth that a more agile man could defeat a far larger and armored opponent is just that myth. I don't have the necessary weaponry like a Warhammer to his chest and a sword is an awful weapon against an armored enemy. I could target his joints, but the size and reach of my arm are too short.

'Should've asked for a champion, but no!!! King Robert is too lazy to get this done tomorrow. Damn, fat ass king," I clicked my lips.

What could I do? Use the pommel of the sword as some sort of an improvised blunt instrument that wouldn't be effective unless I could hold sharp steel unharmed. The more I think about this, this fight is quite a foolish action. I didn't have a plan but here I am talking to the King and Lord Hand with disrespect and unfounded confidence like I had a plan in the first place.

'Yeah, I'm an idiot.'

The Septon arrived and did all the necessary pleasantly and then commenced the fight.

"Then let this holy fight commence!!!"

As if cue, we both drew our swords, the man charged at me and swung down his sword to slash my face. I managed to hold his first strike, the other flurry of strikes however not so much. What the book said is true, he really does not fit to be a king's guard, his attack, while not sloppy, lacks creativity and is easy to read. That doesn't mean I'm winning, he's still faster and stronger than me. I could defend and react to his attack but that's it. I'm slowly losing ground and am being pushed.

"You'll die here, boil!" he strikes with a large arc, ranging our swords with sparks. The attack was too strong for me to handle; I was brought to my knees. The sword Ser Barristan gave me was flung from my hand and almost hit the nearest crowd. I looked up to see another slash was about to rend my neck, this time I had nothing to block it with. Just when live steel was about to slash me in two, I felt the same chains that brought me here under my feet. Knowing that I still have a chance I rolled to the side bringing the chains with me.

'THAT WAS TOO CLOSE,' the man who truly does not belong in the king's guard is still a formidable opponent.

Merryn was about to swing his sword again at me this time half powered from before as the attack was more reactionary to my dodge.

I straighten the chains, ignoring the pain on my palm as steel roughly grazed my skin. I rolled forward entangling the chain to the sword with the sound of steel and iron clashing until it rolled to his armpits. His sword is still in his hand, a statement of skill and quick thinking from him. Before he could escape, I already wrapped her body with the chains until the man fell into the ground with a great clang as armor meets the stone floor and tied the chain to his neck.

The man struggled like a bull, trying to get up with a tied hand and leg to no avail, poking his sword in the back in the hope to stab me, it was no use it was clear that I'd won,

Some people cheered for me, while others were silent. The sight of an 11-year-old boy defeating a member of the Kingsguard must be quite a sight even if he's unworthy.

With bated breath, I was finally able to speak. "Do you yield?" I tighten my strangle on his neck. Ignoring his struggle to loosen it. "Or die?" I tightened it again until the sound of his neck airflow was almost watery.

"Y-yifhhld"

I tighten the chain more

Yghield!"

Stronger, stronger!!!

"Stop this madness!"

My body was yanked from the chains by two more king's guards while one more untangled the chain from Merryn's neck.

"Get off me! I'm still not done yet! He has to die!!"

My face was flung by a slap.

"Get ahold of yourself, he has yield, don't tarnish your victory. " Ser Barristan advised me.

"It's not the victory I want, I want him dead!" I said coldly. "It's my duty!"

"A self-righteous fool will not be seen as a better man." Ser Barristan holds my shoulder. "I'll give you this advice, Lord Gaunt, control your emotion and show the people wisdom in your action, not like this, this only tells people that you're an impulsive brat. Look at your surroundings, do you see respect?"

'No only disgust.'

"Do you see admiration?"

'No, only fear.'

"What do you think they think about you, Lord Gaunt?"

"A monster," I answered.

"No, they see a pathetic boy."

…..

After this, back to charitable arcs!

If you didn't notice it yet the MC is not perfect mentally speaking.

Also character development

I wrote myself into a corner with a character like Leirra, he is supremely unlikable that's why I need him to grow up.