Episode 2 in a Series of works teasing Edward.
Edward had been gloating a little about what a wonderful protector he was.
"Don't worry about going for a walk in the woods Bella. I'll make sure you don't trip over tree roots and I'll certainly catch you before you fall if you do."
Honestly Bella didn't mind a scraped knee here or there, she just wanted to spend the day with Edward. It was late fall. The leaves were putting on a beautiful showing. Edward was in high spirits and took to the trees jumping from branch to branch sending down the prettiest leaves. Bella had a large book they were planning to read from together later and she was saving the loveliest of the leaves between its pages.
Edward was paying a lot of attention to her. A lot of attention to the fall colours and not a lot of attention as he leapt casually from tree to tree.
The air was a little chilly. I should have brought a jacket, she thought. This thought derailed into absolute panic when the next moment later Edward jumped to the tree over her head and dislodged a bee's nest right on top of her.
Edward honestly didn't immediately notice. It didn't make a great deal of noise and bees did him no harm whatsoever.
The main reason Bella didn't scream is there were bees all over her face stinging her and frankly she didn't want bees in her mouth. Her first instinct was to swat, then to run which resulted in a face plant which Edward did notice.
"Bella?" He called confused. The ground was flat here and it wasn't even particularly rocky why in the world had she fallen?
Now a huge number of stings in, Bella managed to jump to her feet, pull her sweater over her mouth and yell "Help!"
Of course Edward came to help rescue her but well the first thought of an apex predator is to attack and that really only annoyed the bees more. Bees were suicide bombers anyway. Apex predators weren't really something they cared about at all. Edward really wasn't intimidating them at all swatting at the bees and vampire speed was only preventing Bella from figuring out how to avoid running into him in her attempts to escape.
Now very, very many stings later, pulling her sweater over her mouth again Bella yelled "STOP RILING THEM UP AND GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
Edward had seen the movie. You run and jump into water and the bees leave you alone. "I'll save you Bella!"
The lake wasn't far. Edward ran with Bella towards the lake then threw her in and went back to do battle with the bees.
It was late autumn, Edward was back at the nest swatting the few remaining bees and Bella had been thrown in the ice cold water. It wasn't like she could hold her breath. With that many bees, that much adrenaline and frankly that many stings hiding under the water wasn't really a choice and in anycase bees chase the carbon dioxide emitted by the animal attacking them so they were rather more concerned with the human than the vampire. Choking and half drowned Bella dragged herself to shore and now heavily water laden ran. At least from the lake she knew where she was going. Enough distance and the bees for the most part stopped following. Bella finally found the road and shivering panting, jogged along. She was freaked out by now and unable to resist swatting at the few hold out stragglers. Edward meant well but occasionally he was an idiot.
Thankfully Carlisle was just coming home from work and saw Bella looking like a rather grumpy drowned panicky rat, so he pulled over.
"Bella you look freezing, my word what happened it looks like you have hives."
"So many bees. Your son is a moron," she muttered.
"Goodness are those all bee stings?"
Bella swatted at one of the last few outliers.
"Get in the car!" Carlisle ordered quickly rolling the window back up to keep unwanted guests out. After she shut the door he swatted the last few that snuck in with the poor girl. "I gather you are not allergic but that is rather an alarming number of bee stings. I think I have some benadryl around somewhere back at the house. Your lips are blue, are you cold or are you having trouble breathing?" Carlisle inquired, putting the car in gear and accelerating to the house. She was panting a little.
Bella shivered. "Edward thought it would be a good tactic to toss me in a lake. In November." She stopped to cough a little, still wheezing. "I was running rather a lot to get away from the; you know," she stopped again to cough some more. "the bees. Sorry I wasn't expecting to get tossed in the lake and I inhaled a little water."
"Where in the world is Edward?" demanded Carlisle in exasperation pulling up to the house and zipping around to help Bella out of his car.
"Where do you think? He's doing battle with the bees," exclaimed Bella infuriated.
Carlisle helped Bella onto one of the kitchen stools then jogged up to his office, after rummaging around a bit he found what he was looking for and came back with the Benadryl, an epipen and a doctor's bag. He was old fashioned and would likely never get out of the habit of having a doctor's bag tucked away near. He gave her a rather large dose of benadryl and put the epipen on the counter just in case because he still wasn't sure of her symptoms. It didn't sound as if anyone was home at the moment.
"I'll get you a towel and some dry clothes."
Bella ended up towelled dry but sitting in her underwear and a blanket in the kitchen while Carlisle as quickly and gently as he could set about removing a shocking number of stingers from her. When she calmed, she stopped panting and the shivering was a good sign so he just quietly worked at the problem at hand.
"I feel a rather stupid compulsion to count them, there's so many stings," Carlisle kind of fussed.
"I know what you mean," Bella agreed. "What good does it really do to count the stings but I know I'll do it later. So Tylenol or Advil?"
"Pardon? Oh Advil, it'll help with the swelling." Her heart rate was still a little elevated, her lips were still slightly blue and her breathing was borderline, could have been a little inhaled water, could be the amount of bee venom. He was watching her and he knew what warning signs to look for and the Benadryl took a little time to be effective. "Just going to take your temperature again." He frowned a little after the thermometer beeped. "Um? How about a warm cup of tea?"
"Do you have tea?" asked Bella.
"I honestly have no idea," replied Carlisle with an embarrassed smile.
"If you're just looking to warm me up, warm water is fine," answered Bella itching at some of the bee stings on her face.
"I was born an Englishman. Not offering tea, well it sounds rather uncivilised," admitted Carlisle.
"I wonder where Edward's gotten to?" mused Bella. "Surely, he can't still be battling the bees."
"Actually, if I know Edward, when he came to his senses, and I use the term senses liberally, he probably panicked and is very likely trying to dredge the lake looking for you," commented Carlisle. "Thankfully, as we are all fond of forests and wet weather, we all carry waterproof phones. Do you think you could call the poor boy and set his mind at ease?" Carlisle passed Bella his phone, still working away at removing stingers. If he moved too fast, bits of stinger tended to get left behind.
In only a few moments after Bella managed to get through to Edward and explain to him where she was. Edward came barrelling through the door like a wild thing. Unfortunately the great battle of the bees had left him with a few unhappy passengers on his clothing and two more stings later Bella was definitely wheezing.
"Oh bother it!" exclaimed Carlisle in disappointment, finally deciding that the Epipen couldn't be avoided so one-blue-to-the-sky-orange-to-the-thigh later he picked her up and carried her back out to his car. "Bring the clothes Edward, you're driving."
"Where are we going," asked Bella.
"Hospital," answered Carlisle and Edward in unison; one of them resigned, one quite anxious.
"You're right Bella. My son is an idiot. You just couldn't resist bringing a few more of your friends home could you Edward," teased Carlisle.
"Sorry Bella," Edward mumbled.
"Why do I have to go to the hospital?" Bella was very uncomfortable and she knew she wasn't in great shape but weren't epipens the great magic wand of allergies and those type of reactions or something. She knew better than to ask why Edward was driving like a maniac. He always drove like a maniac and when he was worried it was worse.
"It's an automatic requirement with epipen use," Carlisle explained before Edward could say something no doubt stupidly alarming.
Edward glared at him in the rearview mirror. Carlisle met his glare and thought back at him, "Don't you dare say something to get her all worked up!"
Edward growled at his dad.
"Edward, you can call Charlie when we get there." Carlisle announced sounding just a little reprimanding. He raised eyebrow towards Edward. "Don't give me attitude," he thought.
"It's not a big deal sweetie," Carlisle soothed. He'd not bothered with his own seatbelt. He was helping Bella who was strapped in pull on a little clothing other than her undergarments.
It really wasn't a big deal: a few warmed blankets, a little oxygen, a stronger antihistamine and a few hours of observation.
When Charlie got there, a nurse was dabbing hydrocortizone on the bee stings. The first words out of Charlie's mouth. "Good grief Bella, how many times did you get stung."
"See? Everyone wants a count. What's up with that?" protested Bella.
Carlisle who was relaxing in a chair nearby holding a cup of tea, shrugged and chuckled.
Edward was pacing.
"How did you manage to avoid getting stung?" Charlie asked him.
"I was in the tree when the nest fell," explained Edward sounding pained.
"They ignored him and went mad for me because apparently I'm magically delicious," explained Bella sounding annoyed. "He didn't get stung once."
"Bees don't bite Bella," protested Edward who was rather upset about this whole thing.
"Those aren't your clothes," observed Charlie.
"They're Esme's," explained Carlisle mildly. "Edward thought the best way to save her from the bees was to throw her in the lake."
"In November?" demanded Charlie incredulous.
"There were a lot of bees," defended Edward. ''I panicked a little."
"He threw me in a lake then ran off," explained Bella wearily. She yawned. Between the pain killers and the antihistamines she was ready to pass out.
Edward opened his mouth, hands outstretched to explain then just kind of gave up. "I don't know sir..." he answered sounding defeated.
"Blame it on the fortune cookie in third grade," Bella offered.
Charlie nodded sagely as if this advice made sense.
"What are you even talking about?" demanded Edward.
"Third grade, Stacey Miller's birthday party, Bells was the only kid whose fortune cookie had no fortune in it. Chen Wen explained that meant she had no future," explained Charlie. "That's when this all started."
"I choked on the coins Stacey's Irish dad hid in the cake. He broke three of my ribs doing the Heimlich maneuver. They called an ambulance for me because of the broken ribs. It got into a traffic accident with me in the vehicle. I ended up with a concussion. It's all the fault of the fortune cookie. I have no future, been fighting fate since third grade."
Because Edward couldn't read Bella at all and Charlie was like reading fine print in a heavy fog Edward wasn't even sure they weren't messing with him.
"I remember seeing that in your medical records," observed Carlisle nodding. "So it's all the fault of the fortune cookie. That makes sense."
Edward starred at Carlisle who was looking at him with a perfect calm poker face thinking about nothing but how nice and warm a cup of tea felt in his hands.
Edward wasn't quite brave enough to ask if they were messing with him. He looked down at the nurse to see what she thought.
"72, 73, 74..."
Oh that wasn't helpful at all, ...although how many times had Bella been stung?
*fin
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