I woke up in the Fade, because of fucking course I did.

The washed-out scenery looked the same as ever on the other side of the Dream-catcher, though Fade-Kirkwall was anything but empty tonight. I'd expected that to be honest.

I hadn't expected my dream-catcher to be far more red-orange than purple, with only a few threads of Longing's power super-charging it. Enough to keep lesser spirits out, certainly, but if the Nightmare found me... ugh.

Worse, among my audience were the same Terror and Despair who'd found me on the way home from the Thaig. Both were lounging on a facsimile of a couch just outside. No fewer than three different Rage demons were prowling around outside, testing my defenses... and something new was sitting opposite of my old friends.

Its skin was chalk white, features androgynous, and it wore a ragged traveler's cloak. That was a bit more Human than most non-Desire spirits, but it made up for it with the fact that its eyes looked to have been gouged out. Blood ran in endless tears down either cheek, dripping onto the cracked soil.

"And who the hell are you?" I muttered, glowering at it.

It smiled. When it spoke, its voice came through strongly, only barely slowed by the Catcher's web. "I am the pain of loss, of failure. I am the ache in your heart, the fading memory. I am the loved one you shall never touch again, the friend whose smile you forever miss. I am Elder Despair. I am Grief."

"...yeah. No. Fuck off."

The smile widened farther than any mortal's could have, lips cracking to dribble more blood down its chin. "You cannot protect them. You cannot even protect yourself."

I grunted, crossing my arms defiantly. "Maybe not, but I'm a stubborn bitch. Now get the hell away from me before I sic Longing on you."

"Your spiritual concubine is feasting on another." It drawled, "Even if she was not, I have woven a Veil over us, so that we might speak in private."

Well. Shit. I immediately gave my tether a hard yank... and got the mental equivalent of a busy signal shot back at me. Double shit. Of fucking course the time I actually needed Longing she wasn't responding.

And she'd apparently pulled most of the power she'd loaned my Dream-Catcher as well. Triple shit.

Time to snark and snarl and hope he backed down.

"One, concubine? Seriously?" I scoffed, "Two, this conversation is over."

"Just as so many lives are." It replied slyly.

...all right. That one fucking hurt. Right in the soul.

I clenched my fists, spun on a heel, and stalked to the far side of my safe-space. I turned again when I got there, crossing my arms and glaring at it. Grief cocked its head to one side, said something I couldn't hear. When I didn't respond beyond my stare, it vanished in place.

"Games?" It murmured, leaning close to the burning net right beside me. "You play games while your people lay dead because of your actions? When half of your Watch is cold and still, your Alienage in ruins, and you pretend that caring for a single girl shall absolve your guilt, forestall your grief?"

Exhaling sharply, I strode forward again, this time getting to the exact center of my bubble. My audience watched me, Rage still prowling, Grief still smiling.

...and I could still hear the Elder spirit when it whispered. "How many families mourn now, while you sleep in luxury? You shed only the barest tears for them, for the mistakes that you made. How do you not weep?"

I clenched my jaw, sat down, and said nothing to the spirit.

"Cry with me. You know you should." It urged, "How many children lived in the Western Quarter? How many young lives did your foolishness end? Yet you do not weep for them. Where are the tears that their lives deserved?"

...the worst thing about spirits in Thedas was that they always knew what to say. The old ones most of all.

"Worse, what did you do in the wake of the tragedy that you caused? You cast blame on others. Indulged in the vice of a mob's need for justice. Where is the grief for your lost innocence? Where was the justice of your sham court?"

I felt my resolve crack, my hands shaking. A sharp mental yank on my tether to Longing didn't do anything. Nor did my second.

She was busy, or couldn't find me under Grief's spell. Either way, I was on my own, and this fucker was nibbling on my soul, trying to work his way to full-sized bites.

"Come to me." Grief whispered. "Let me hold you as you mourn. Let it all out before the well of despair drowns you. "

I could wake myself. Get up. Find some wine or something. But... Fiolya was asleep on top of me. I'd disturb her if I got up, and she needed her sleep. Needed to rest, to recover. No. I could deal with this. I could deal with one aggravating spirit trying to push me over the edge.

"Please, Maeve. I only wish to help you. To be the shoulder upon which you grieve."

And my favorite fictional Wizard had taught me how.

"...one."

"One?" It asked.

"Two. Three. Five. Seven. Eleven." I said more loudly, not stopping my recitation of prime numbers. "Thirteen. Seventeen. Nineteen. Twenty-three."

It hissed in frustration, trying to whisper more words of pain, of despair, of grief. Tried to draw me closer to it. Tried to feast on my emotions, draw me into its own web where it could drown me in grief until I was nothing more than a husk.

I just lifted my voice, smothering it as I got into the forties, where I had to start doing the actual math that I barely remembered. "Three squared plus three plus forty one is fifty three. Four squared plus four plus forty one..."

Grief prowled outside of the circle as I kept going, the little Rage demons scattering before it without truly fleeing. The other Despair and Terror did not move from their couch when it went past, though I thought the other one of its kind said something from the way its hood shifted.

Terror seemed to chortle while Grief's prowling upgraded to stomping. Like a toddler throwing a fit that their toy wasn't doing what they wanted.

My math slowed down as it left what I could just do out loud or in my head. I started doing it long-hand on the ground, using my finger as a pen in the dirt.

Around five hundred Merrill finally fell asleep. The green mist of her dream began drifting along inside the circle, rising and falling, but not otherwise coming near me. Grief seemed to try her draw out of it, but grew frustrated when the fog did not coalesce into a person.

My dreamcatcher protecting her at least.

It went back to circling, to calling out reminders of how many my mistakes had killed today.

I made it to the eight-hundreds before a pair of booted feet appeared in front of me. Looking up let me see Longing in her usual outfit, looking more smug than usual, tail happily wagging behind her.

She... looked fine. Totally fine.

And it pissed me the hell off.

"Is that Grief?" She sounded more intrigued than upset at the sight of the other Elder, offering me a hand when I made to stand up. "That explains why it was difficult to find you today. It was always talented with veils."

I didn't take it, pushing myself to my feet on my own.

That made her frown a little, then more deeply when she got a better look at me. "Tch. You're a mess of emotions again. You know I can't-"

Her head snapped to one side... and my palm stung.

All three Rage demons let out screeching cheers that pierced the Catcher, their excitement making my teeth buzz. None were strong enough to breach it, not even as a whisper, but I felt their sudden eagerness. Their desperate pressure on the netting to let me hear them.

"...Maeve?" She sound... stunned. Hurt. "What was-"

My backhand struck her other cheek, shutting her up, making her stagger back in shock.

"Shut. Up." I said, deadly quiet. "And power these fucking wards up now, like you swore to do. Or I'm going to desire to use you as a punching bag."

Longing gaped at me for several seconds. Then she slowly brought a hand up, and her power flooded into the Dream-Catcher once more. Crackling flames swallowed up sounds of my Rage cheerleaders, and drove Grief back with the brightness of them.

"I-"

"Shut up." I cut her off again, not caring that I was a full head shorter than her. Not caring that she could probably incinerate me with a thought here, in her world.

I had a target to vent my rage and grief, and I let loose.

"We had a deal! A pact! I know you're not a damned Fae from the Dresden Files, but I thought that fucking meant something!" I screamed up at her, driving her back another step. "But no! You're off trapping some mage in an illusion of freedom, or let him shove his dick up your ass, or whatever the hell you were doing! And I had to sit here and listen to that bastard try and drive me to suicide!"

She swallowed, tail curling between her legs. "...Grief prefers their contractors live as long as possible, to better feast on their pain."

My hand slashed through the air, "I don't care! You know what I mean! I just... I just got hundreds of people killed, and instead of having a friend here, I had that thing waiting for me. You know what happened tonight!"

Longing's weight shifted uncomfortably. She seemed to flail about for a defense, offering a meager one. "...I have other contracts. You are one of many, you know this."

I scowled at her, hating the tears in my eyes. "And they needed so much power you had to draw it from my Dream-Catcher? That you couldn't protect me like you agreed?"

A definite wince. "That was unintentional... and I did leave some power in your wards. It's not as though they could be breached."

"And that's a fucking relief." I spat. "Good to know that my protector, who I sold access to my immortal soul to, can unintentionally leave me to be food for her friends. You damned well know that the things spirits say is far worse than anything they can do with their fists or claws."

"I..." The Elder Spirit seemed to flounder as I hurled every emotion at her except for the ones that she could actually work with. "...Maeve, I-"

"I don't want to hear it." I shook my head, turning away from her. Watching as Merrill's dream drifted past. "Go away."

"Maeve, please. If you desire a friend, I can-"

I yanked my shoulder away when she tried to rest a hand on me, summoned up my furious courage, and took three rapid steps forward into the mist that was Merrill's dream.

"Maeve! Don't-"

It swallowed me whole at once, transporting me to a dark forest.

Merrill crouched alone at a fire, sadly poking at a fish on a spit. Insects buzzed somewhere in the distance, an owl hooted, but there no one else there. Everything, even Merrill, seemed to be under some kind of vague fog that leached the color from the world.

I glanced down, and confirmed I looked normal. Mostly. I was apparently wearing the same ACDC cut-off, blue jeans, and navel-gem that Longing usually did, but a quick check of my ears confirmed that they were still long and pointed.

Good enough.

I walked over without a word, and collapsed on the other side of the flame.

She glanced up at me, then down at the flames, then fell on her ass when she snapped her head back up. When she did, color flooded her, the flame, the fish. Everything within a dozen yards, as if her attention had returned normalcy to the world.

"Maeve? What are you... oh! I'm dreaming! Are we dreaming?"

"We are." I reached up, rubbing at my face. "Sorry for intruding."

"Don't be! I've never dreamed with someone else before, this is very exciting, and you didn't intrude on a nightmare or anything private." She started to smile, but it turned into a frown almost at once. "You're crying?"

I grumbled through my hands. "An Elder Despair ambushed me. Longing was too distracted to keep the wards super-charged. It knew what to say to make me hurt. I... needed a friend's company."

She blinked a few times, then seemed to take stock of the dream we were sitting in. "Oh. I think that explains a few things. This was... a sad dream, before you came."

"...sorry."

"It's not your fault." Merrill said quietly. "None of it is."

"Yes it is." I replied without hesitation. "It might not be all my fault, but it's more my fault than anyone else's."

"Maeve-"

I cut her off, staring in to the flames. "I'm the one who started working with the Guard. With the Templars. I'm the one that thought we could just pick off the criminal mages. That the others wouldn't care if we cleaned up their mess. I was the one who fucked that all up."

"You couldn't have known, lethallan."

I... almost told her then and there. I almost told her all of it. I don't know why I didn't. Why I just closed my eyes and shook my head like a coward. Why I brought my legs in, wrapping my arms around them, and said nothing.

Grass and leaves crunched. A hand found my arm, Merrill settling down beside me. "Lethallan. It wasn't your fault."

"...agree to disagree."

She sighed, her temple coming to rest against mine as she scooted closer. "I will tell you every day until you believe it."

I huffed softly, but let myself lean into her as well.

We said nothing for a long time. We just sat beside her little fire, watching flames that consumed no wood.

"What happened after I left?" She finally asked the question I'd been waiting for. "What happened to Fiolya?"

That... that I told her. In shorter sentences than I probably should have, but I didn't hold any of it back. About Meredith's behavior, about Fiolya. Her family, the Watch, the rapist. And... Meredith offering knighthoods and nobility to us.

"...Elgar'non."

"Yeah."

"Um, what does this mean?"

"I don't know. I really don't." I shook my head a tiny bit. "I guess... the Humans won't be happy. They'll probably go insane. There's going to be more attacks on us. More beatings, more rapes. Servants will probably be told to live in the mansions instead of coming home."

I paused, snorted, and added, "The Elves who worship the Creators, who think Elders should run everything, they might try to leave. Go to other cities. Today was a pretty clear declaration that Andraste and Feudalism now rule the Alienage. It's going to be a mess for a long time. All because I came to Kirkwall, and was too stubborn to leave things alone."

Merrill turned, kissing my cheek softly. "It's not all bad. You helped me, lethallan."

"...I did." I shifted, kissing her cheek in turn. "I'm glad to have met you, Merrill."

She beamed, blushing lightly. "Good. Why did you?"

"Merrill." It was my turn to sigh, "You know I can't keep track of the subject like you."

"Oh I do." She giggled, "But you're cute when you sigh like that."

"That's not a very sisterly thing to say." I found my teasing voice. "Should I warn Isabella that you're trying to seduce me?"

A hand shoved at my arm, more giggles tumbling out, "You! I'd never get between you and Isabella. You are going to end up with Isabella, aren't you?"

I shook my head, smiling a little more sadly. "I'm not going to end up with anyone, Merrill."

She hummed knowingly, nodding in a way that managed to be both innocent yet patronizing. "Of course not, lethallan. Not without my approval at least."

I chuckled, looking back to the fire. "And you approve of Isabella?"

"Of course I do. You're adorable together." A hand patted mine again, "But you distracted me. Why did you come to Kirkwall? I mean, you said you were running from Tevinter, but why Kirkwall? Why not stay in Nevarra, or find one of the other Clans?"

My weak laughter faded once again. I didn't know why I hadn't told her the truth before, and I didn't know why I did this time. "I was looking for Mythal."

Merrill froze. She didn't even blink.

"Well, what's left of her." I added, not looking at her. "I heard a rumor she'd been spotted near here. I thought if anyone could get me home without the price being too high, it would be her."

"...Maeve." Her voice was very quiet, and very serious. "Mythal is trapped beyond the Veil."

"No, she isn't." I said just as quietly. "Not according to my people."

A shaking hand found my wrist, fingers tightening. "Maeve. Tell... tell me."

I did. "The Evanuris were powerful beyond imagination. Mages, not gods, but so close that the line blurred. Our stories say that they began to lose track of their compassion. Of care for anything besides their vices. Your people have tales of the brutal things they could do too. But one of them held the others back. One tried to reign them in."

"Mythal. The mother-goddess."

"Yes." I said. "And they killed her for it. Not permanently. I don't think you can kill an Evanuris permanently, but her... soul was cut loose. Damaged, drifting, until it could find a new host. A woman scorned and betrayed, just as Mythal had been scorned and betrayed. Asha'bellanor."

"No, that's not..." Merrill shook her head at once, grip tightening. "...Asha'bellanor is vicious. Mythal was nothing like that. Is nothing like that. And if she was still alive, then she'd have been answering our prayers! Not... not being silent."

I could only shrug. I had no idea why Flemeth didn't answer prayers anymore, or if she ever had. "I don't know if it's the truth, Merill. It's just stories, just like yours."

She nodded jerkily, clearly trying to steady her breathing. "I... yes. Yes. Stories. They're probably wrong, but you... were hopeful. You were hoping against hope."

"Pretty much." That was easy to agree with. I had been. "That's the same reason I want to take a quick trip to Ferelden. Rumors have it that she helped the Wardens. I wanted to ask them about her, see if my stories were right, or if yours were."

"And if mine were?" She asked.

"Avoid the hell out of her." Another shrug, "And start searching for the only other god who might be able to send me home."

She went still again. "Fen'harel."

"Yup. Desperation plan there too. Not really the kind of maniac I want to sit down for tea with, but he was the only person I could think of who might be able to get me back home." I paused, then snorted, "Assuming he's even awake right now, and isn't just dreaming away the centuries somewhere. That he'd even care enough to spend his power to help me."

Merrill swallowed, then slowly leaned back into my side. "You just want to go home."

"Yeah."

"...I'm sorry. I... I haven't been working on my Eluvian enough." She started to pick up speed, babbling. Distracting herself from what I'd told her 'my people' thought had happened to one of her most important gods. "We've just been so distracted, and I've been trying, but there was the Deep Roads and then living in the Gatehouse and I couldn't work on it and-"

"Shhh." I slid an arm around her shoulders, pulling her tight. "It's all right. Merrill, it's all right."

It was her turn to shake her, "No, it's not. I know you were so hopeful when I told you I could fix it. That I could get you home without you having to chase down Asha'bellanor or the Dread Wolf. I'll get to work on it as soon as I can. I promise."

My heart cracked some more inside of my chest. "...I don't deserve you, Merrill."

Her cheeks turned pink, ears following. "Maeve!"

"I don't." I forced myself to smile, "I... come on. Do you want to see the Fade?"

"You're distracting me again." She pouted, poking my side.

"Yup. Do you though?"

"...yes." She admitted, "But I'm serious. I'm going to focus as hard as I can on my Eluvian now. I'll get you home before you have to make a deal with the Dread Wolf."

I kept up my forced smile, looking away so that she couldn't see the pain in my eyes. The knowledge that her Eluvian wouldn't be able to get me anywhere close to home. That there was no paradise for Elves waiting for us all.

"Come on." I said, pulling her to her feet as I got to my own. "Let's see if I can get us back to my Dream-Catcher, see if I'm more than the world's worst Dreamer. Maybe... I'll try and focus my magic on it, while we walk back the way we came."

"Worth a try." She nodded, keeping one of my hands in hers as we started walking away from her tiny campsite. I tried to focus as we moved, keeping my destination in mind. It worked for Doctor Strange, so I hoped it would work for me here.

And it was a lot better than listening to Merrill beat herself up for something that she thought would let me get home while I was already a brittle bundle of emotions.

I guess there was something to the good doctor after all; the forest began to fade after a few dozen paces, the air turning hazy mere moments before we walked back into the circle of my safe zone in this fucked up mirror of reality.

Merrill gasped, spinning around, taking it all in. "This is your Dream-Catcher in the Fade?"

"Yup, and..." My voice trailed off when I spotted a devil sitting quietly a few feet away, watching us. "...I thought I told you to fuck off."

Longing huffed, but didn't meet my gaze. "Our contract allows me to come and go as I please."

"Oh! Hello Longing." Merrill sketched her a little bow, "Huh. That's how you look for Maeve? Ohhhh. Is that a pirate's eye patch?"

"She has a type, as her people would say." Longing grinned, "Though-"

"Nope!" I cut her off, glaring. "We're not bantering tonight. I did not forgive you in the last hour."

Longing's smile fell at once, her tail dropping limply to the ground as well. "It was an unintentional mistake, Maeve. It won't happen again."

"That's nice."

The spirit groaned, clawed hands coming up to grasp her horns in an expression of frustration. "I apologize! I am sorry. I did not allocate my power as I thought I needed to tonight, and I am sorry that it gave Grief an opening to speak to you."

I stared down at her, crossing my arms while Merrill watched. "Are you truly sorry?"

"Yes."

"Then leave us alone tonight." I replied.

Her entire being seemed to shifted, as through something inside of her was twisting about, making her outline fuzzy. Then she snapped back into place with a quiet hiss, followed by a groan as she stood up.

"As mine host wishes." She quoted, sketching me a bow. "I shall leave you be this night."

"Thank you." I waited for her to turn away, then added. "And Longing?"

The devil paused, glancing over her shoulder.

"If this ever happens again, our contracts are terminated. I will use whatever power I can find, whatever blood magic Merrill can teach me, to ensure you never get to so much as whisper into my ear again."

Longing's single eye lowered, her nod of acceptance so small it could have been imagined. Then she vanished in a flash of pink light, leaving us alone. Mostly. Grief was gone, so were the little Rages, but Terror and Despair still watched us in silence from their couch.

"Maeve..."

"I meant it." I said. "And... I have been thinking of asking you to teach me blood magic."

Merrill shifted her weight uncomfortably. "Why?"

"Because my mana pool sucks. I got one spell in tonight. One, and it drained me dry. If I could have managed that one more time... " I shook my head. "Maybe I could have saved Elowen's arm. Done more to help in the fighting. Oh shit. Those burned corpses I left at the gate."

"What about them?"

"Uh. How do we explain those to the Templars when they realize a bunch of the Flint Company died to magic?"

She blinked a few times, then winced when she realized that we'd left plenty of bodies behind us. Bodies where it would be obvious that they hadn't been maimed or killed by blades. "Umm... the bad mages turned on them?"

That was... probably the only excuse that would work. Of course it wouldn't do us any good if the Templars came up with their own theories while I was busy sleeping on Varric's couch. Fuck. How many of the the Order were still in the Alienage? Were they going to stick around all night? For a few days?

"...should have stayed there." My mutters made her frown. "There's too much going on."

"Lethallan." Merrill said, in the firm tone of someone telling an idiot something blatantly obvious. "You had two arrows sticking out of you."

"I still should-"

She walked up quickly, a finger tapping my nose. "Two. Arrows. You can't do everything, and and you especially can't do everything when you're wounded. It will work out, lethallan. Elowen's smart. She'll know what to say."

"I... maybe, but-"

"We should work on your light and sound spell." Merrill said brightly. "That shouldn't cost you much mana."

I scowled at her, but I couldn't stop my lip from twitching. "I'm the only one allowed to change the subject like that, lethallan."

She smiled and ignored me completely. "I think we should start by trying to make your finger snaps much louder. We can try adding a flash of light once we have that part working."

And so we we spent several hours working on my spell idea, limited as it was. We didn't bring up the night's events again, or what I'd told her of Mythal, or Longing. We just paced around the circle, trying to make snapping our fingers sound like gunshots going off. Merrill got her version working a few tries before mine.

Listening, smelling, tasting, and watching her magic come together let me find the right fuel for mine, and I was making canon-blasts go off an hour or so later. It was sloppy as hell, sending my blue sparks all over the place, but it was a start at least. Terror and Despair watched the entire thing in silence, though for the briefest moment I thought I saw a third form appear behind them.

It vanished when I tried to get a good look at it, and Merrill missed it entirely.

Considering how badly it had started, it was probably the nicest stretch of time I'd spent in the Fade, to the point where I didn't really want to wake up.

I regretted it a bit more when I opened my eyes to reality, finding Fiolya still sleeping with most of her body draped over mine... and what felt like a bit of her drool on my neck.

"Fiolya." I murmured, giving her a little shake. "Fiolya. Time to wake up."

The teenager let out a petulant little groan, and smeared her spit all over me when she buried her face into my neck. "...too early."

"Up." I said more firmly. "We both need a bath. And breakfast."

She pushed herself slowly, blue eyes blinking a few times. Then more rapidly as she bolted up right, breath coming faster. "It... I... wait. It doesn't..."

Merrill quickly shot up from where she'd been sleeping sitting upright, catching her before she could fall off the couch. Between them they got her onto her feet, Merrill gently stroking the girl's badly shaved head.

"Shhh. It's all right, da'len. We're still here with you."

"I..." Fiolya's face twisted, one of her hands dropping to her lower belly.. "I... was it a dream? I... it doesn't hurt anymore."

I frowned, then reached down to poke at my bandages. A light press where I'd had an arrow in my hip didn't hurt at all. Slipping my fingers under the cloth let me feel nothing but smooth skin. No stitches, no wounds, maybe a thin line of a scar at most.

"Anders." Pushing myself up, I rolled my shoulders, flexing my calf and confirming that wound was healed as well. "He must have come in and healed us both while we were asleep."

"It... it wasn't a dream?"

Oh boy.

Merrill pulled the girl into a gentle hug, "We're going to take care of you, da'len. Have you ever had a hot bath? They're wonderful! And Varric has all kinds of fancy soaps and oils. I don't really know what they're for, but they smell nice!"

She kept up a constant chatter as I got up, the two us gently ushering the girl out of the lounge. We found the main bathroom open and waiting, and someone had retrieved a few sets of our clothes and laid them out on a bench inside. Even odds for Varric or Isabella on that, I'd have to thank them both either way.

Fiolya let us undress her, and get her into the tub first. The hot water made her gasp, then go limp while Merrill and I washed her with scented soaps. She was a bit shaky when she got out, but was able to dress herself just fine while I quickly dunked myself into the still hot water. I was starving, so I didn't stay in it for a nice long soak, as much as I really wanted to, and instead got myself clean as quickly as I could.

"I'm taking her to breakfast." I told Merrill once I'd gotten my clothes back on, "We'll meet you there."

"Okay!" She ducked her own head under the water, coming up back up with a pleased sound before starting to wash her hair.

I led Fiolya out, the girl shuffling along in some of my spare clothes. We were about the same size, despite the fact that I was most of a decade older than her, but I didn't think she had much growing left to do. Elves. We were so damned tiny in this world.

"Lady, I..."

I took her hand in mine, "No serious discussion until after I've eaten and had at least one glass of wine. First lesson as my squire."

Fiolya blinked. "Squire?"

"I'm a knight now. Or something." I sighed, leading her through still-dusty hallways, following the scent of food. "I'll tell you more tonight, I think. You and Merrill are going to spend the day here while I try and figure out what's going on."

"Oh. Um, all right. But-"

"Lesson One." I reminded her.

A tiny smile came and went. "Yes, lady."

We made it to the dining rooms attached to the kitchens, and found Isabella and Fenris already awake. Well, we found Fenris awake. Isabella was eating toast and eggs with the mechanical motions of a zombie, or someone with a nasty hangover.

Fiolya shifted behind me when Fenris looked our way. Not quite hiding, but clearly not comfortable with a man looking at her.

He noticed, and to his credit quickly turned his attention back to Isabella.

"Come on." I whispered. "It's all right. I'll be right next to you."

I took the seat on Isabella's right, sitting Fiolya on my own so that there'd be space between her and everyone else. "Anyone else up yet? Oh. Guess I should ask the time too."

"It's nearly noon." Fenris supplied. "Varric went with Brennan to the Viscount's Keep a few hours past, to learn what he can. Anders vanished some time ago. He did not say to where."

I nodded, then leaned back when a female dwarf bustled over with a pair of plates. She set them down before us with a smile, and I thanked her.

"It is our pleasure, lady." She replied. "It is good to actually have guests in the estate once again. Let us know if you need anything else."

"We will."

I started eating at once, Fiolya hesitantly picking at her food beside me. That lasted until she tried the sausage and eggs, and she began wolfing down nearly as quickly as I was. It was probably the largest, richest breakfast she'd ever had in her short life.

Which was depressing as hell, and I silently resolved to make sure we all ate at least as well as I had at home for the rest of my time on Thedas.

Grief was probably right. I was using the teenager as a proxy for my pain. Trying to heal one life to make up for the hundreds I'd gotten killed... but by fucking God, I was going to make this girl's life better. No matter what, I'd make sure she wanted for nothing even after I found Solas and went back to Earth, to Pennsylvania.

I was so busy making silent vows that I missed Merrill's arrival, at least until Isabella let out a choking sound.

A quick look up saw her staring across the room, and I followed her gaze to find...

"How did you make it stay in?" Merrill complained, holding something around her waist.

Her exposed waist.

She'd tied her shirt up just below her small breasts, baring her belly all the way down to her hips. I stared at her as she tried to push a small emerald into her navel. It promptly fell out when she let go, making her squeak and lunge for it. It bounced off her fingers as she contrived to juggle the little gem, eventually snapping it out of the air with an embarrassed blush.

"Kitten." Isabella said, very slowly. "What are you doing?"

"It's how women from Maeve's homeland dress." She said, as if that explained everything. "But I can't figure out how they make the gems stay in there."

"...Sweet Thing." Isabella said in the exact same tones. "Explain."

I felt my skin heating up. "It's, um... I have a piercing there, Merrill. Uh, where did you get that emerald?"

She blinked, considering the question. "You know, I really don't remember. I think it's been in my pack for a while now. I know you had a ruby there, but I thought the green would work better for me. Does it look better on me?"

"...ah... yeah, it does. Um, could you pull your shirt down? I think you broke Isabella."

Merrill pouted, and apparently that expression was too much for Fiolya.

The kid started shaking with laughter. Silent at first, then it burst out of her in a rolling belly laugh. None of us said anything as she laughed, falling into my side, cackling as if this was the funniest thing she'd ever witnessed.

And if the laughter turned into tearful sobs that saw me gently wiping her face off, none of us judged her for it.