AU: When an exploration mission goes way off the left field, Jack and Sam are left to patch up their lives. Will that door stay open?

Disclaimer: All recognisable characters are the property of MGM/Amazon. No copyright infringement intended. I am once again taking my favourite two Gaters for a walk in an Alternate Universe. Takes place after 5.05 Red Sky with some canon episodes skipped (overlooked) and others referenced.

Rating: Mature. No triggers.

A/N: This weekend, my family and I will be holidaying in Singapore. This chapter has been posted early and I will try to post another one before I leave.

Chapter 30: Get Away

Wednesday afternoon - Sam

"How are you going this afternoon, Major?" Doctor Warner asked me as he walked into the infirmary. I had woken up in the infirmary strapped to my bed, shadow Jack was no where to be seen. If I could punch him, I would have. Since I knew he could have stopped them doing what they did. I thought he was gone after not having heard his voice in my head after my dream and for most of the morning. Having him reappear in my room moments before I left for my appointment bleating about how I had recharged him and that we need to go to -338 to help Samantha had surprised me.

"Since when do you care. I want out of these; I want to go home." I replied as I struggled against the leather straps holding my wrists in place, noting his raised eyebrow at my less than polite response.

"Oh, I don't think so. After your behaviour this morning, it's clear that you are not functioning as you should be. It's been barely three weeks since we pulled a piece of shrapnel out of your brain, Major." Warner replied, holding his clipboard like it was a shield despite me being physically unable to throttle him.

"So what! It's not like I'm bleeding from my ears." I scoffed. Sure, I was seeing, conversing with, and enjoying the attentions of an incorporeal Jack. Better than no Jack at all which is what I would have if I pushed my shadowy friend away. I just hoped that whatever they pumped into me did not cause problems for my child.

"No, but you are still suffering from minor memory loss and emotional dysregulation. It's not normal to have imaginary friends at your age, Major." Warner replied, eying my seething scowl. Imaginary friend. If only he knew how imaginary my 'friend' was not. I prided myself on having an extensive imagination when it came to sex, but what shadow Jack could do trumped anything I could think up. It occurred to me that if my imaginary Jack could do it, then the real Jack could do the same. Not that I was likely to ever find out.

He started with just talking and keeping me company, then he moved up to saying things to me like he did on the planet. Last night… Wow, last night, he blew my mind. He was in my mind whispering and, in my body, doing. Normally, I was lucky to get a single orgasm. He had given me two before I woke up. The day before, it was three. Sunday night… wow! Despite my temper afterwards, that dream had become my favourite to date. When I saw Daniel again, I was going to kill him. He said jumping Jack on the planet would make him go away. Ha! Yeah right. Now, here I was, my stomach full of Jack's child, and a shadow Jack reminding me how much I wanted the real thing. Though this time, I was considering willingly accepting what the shadow version was offering. After all, I'd let my incorporeal Sam out with the promise that she would try to bring my Jack back to me. If that didn't happen, I'd keep the other Jack even if it meant smuggling some weapons grade naquadah home.

"Whatever! Can you at least take these off? Please!" My request a little on the demanding side, "I won't try to hurt you." I told him, the lie coming easily because I could not guarantee anything right now. Warner eyed me, then edged toward the bed and released my ankles, then my wrists. "Where's Janet!" I demanded. I knew she would let me go back to my quarters. Janet was a friend. She knew I wasn't crazy.

"She is off duty." He informed me, before surging on with the real reason for his visit. "What were the events surrounding Cassandra's birthday? What did you do on your mission to P6X-755?" He asked.

"We had a cake and presents and karaoke, like we do every year!" I borderline shouted, throwing my now free arms out. His voice had sounded calm, but for some reason I felt like he was attacking me. So what if I couldn't remember everything. My version sounded a lot better than what they said happened.

Warner sighed. "No. As per the incident report, Cassandra collapsed after causing an electrical surge. We caught Nirrti on base looking at her test results."

I scoffed, "Yeah right. Do you know how crazy that sounds?" Making a swirly finger around my temple. "And you say I am crazy. That I'm seeing things." The doctor merely shook his head as he went about checking my vitals and marking up the records on his clipboard.

"Yes, but it's what happened." He insisted. "In fact, up until mid-last week, you remembered that Cassandra was on base and the chess board incident. It seems that your memory has regressed."

"Whatever!" I replied disbelievingly as I laid back with my hand behind my head. I wanted Janet. "Memory lapses are normal. Janet said so." He shook his head before surging on.

"How about P6X-755? You've been having some weird dreams and nightmares."

"Nightmares are a part of my job, Doctor." I reminded him. "You'd have them too after facing what I have encountered in the field."

"Do you still think the perpetrator of your 'attack' was your commanding officer?" He asked with a look of scepticism, his enunciation of attack told me exactly what he thought. I gave him a 'duh' expression.

"No. Of course not." I responded. I had worked out fairly quickly that the nightmares were not about Jack. It took a few instances of the same nightmare for me to recognise that whoever it was, was not the real Jack. Then of course, seeing him again, the memory came back full force, but I hadn't told anyone that the shadow of my CO was visiting me, not until this morning when he appeared in MacKenzie's office intent on finishing our conversation from earlier, and made me… let's say, react unprofessionally, in front of MacKenzie. Most nights and afternoons while I slept, he presented himself in my mind and we talked – really talked, like I never had with the real Jack. Inevitably, things turned heated. Some days he had even visited during my waking hours when no one else was there to ward off my boredom. Unfortunately, every time he smiled, he made me miss my Jack even more.

"Good. What about the other dreams." He asked. God, what was this – twenty questions hour?

"What about them?" I shot back. I didn't want to talk about those dreams, the ones not driven by my 'friend'. I didn't even know why he was asking this stuff. It wasn't unusual for me to dream about Jack, but most of them were the kinds of dreams you never want to end. The kind you went to sleep at night hoping you would have. Dreams of breakfasts together, walking hand in hand, waking up together, kissing, and other things... as long as we both shall live things. Instead, I had dreamed of him turning away from me, telling me he didn't love me, that we could never be together. That Jack was not my Jack because I knew he loved me. Shadow Jack told me so. His final parting from his Samantha had been beautiful, a real eye-opener. Unfortunately, it seemed he'd made his choice. A choice that did not include me as anything more than his 2IC.

Before Jack started this avoidance, he had seen me almost every day since I had woken up and even snuck me out of this God-awful existence for a short time until Janet found us. After that, he kept me company in my room with chess and jello and cake. We talked about the mission and other things, held hands, and kissed. Then the nightmare reared its ugly head, and he had been scarce ever since. The only evidence of his presence the ever-growing collection of jellos in the fridge, then on the table in my quarters. Come to think of it, I hadn't received my jello yesterday or the day before, nor had I seen Daniel or Teal'c. There was something in the back of my mind about why, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Sam?" I looked up startled. Oh yeah, Doctor Warner was still here. "I asked you about P6X-755?"

I looked at him strangely. "No, you didn't. What is P6X-755?" I asked incredulously, mainly to get under his skin. Hearing the disembodied laugh in my mind, I noted that I was hanging around shadow Jack too much if that was my first answer.

He sighed, "P6X-755. Your last mission, the one where you were injured."

I relented. "OK, fine! We went to 755, we found rocks, Jack got zapped, then we had sex!" I snapped. Warner gave me a startled look, "I mean… shadow Jack and I had sex… not the real Jack." I corrected, hoping he didn't see through my mistruth. "Then I got shot, and now I'm here."

Warner eyed me and made a note on his board. "The incorporeal manifestation and you had intercourse." He repeated disbelievingly tapping his pen after writing the final words. "How?"

"Err...umm... he could make himself hard… umm." I stumbled. Warner raised an eyebrow. I wasn't wrong, he did make himself hard. Very hard. Just for me. "Well, solid… ish…" I corrected wincing over my initial wording.

"-ish?" Warner queried.

"Yeah, -ish meaning, well -ish. Yellow-ish is a little bit yellow. Solid-ish is a little bit solid." I explained.

"Right. OK." He said placatingly, though his expression said otherwise. It was a valid suffix in the English language. Except there was nothing -ish about how hard shadow Jack had been. He really could manipulate any part of himself, not that I thought Warner wanted to know that.

My eyes wandered and a saw him standing with his back against the wall, arms crossed, wearing that tight black shirt and BDU pants. Younger looking with brown hair. His feet were bare. That was so hot. He smiled and flexed his hands which made the muscles along his arms ripple. I had to stop myself from audibly groaning. My mouth went dry just thinking about him suspended over me in my dreams last night. I realised, when Warner snapped his fingers in front of my face, that I had not been listening to a word he was saying.

"What else happened, Major?" He pressed, his voice I little sterner and definitely louder. I didn't know why everyone was yelling at me, insisting I tell them what I remembered about the events on that mission. Why did it matter what happened? I was alive, and mostly intact. For whatever reason, my brain had locked some stuff away. That didn't mean I couldn't do my job. I scowled at his incessant questions and turned my head away. I was done talking.

"That's what I thought. Sam, as much as you are going to hate it, with an injury this like this, you will be off active duty for at least another three weeks."

"What! No! Dad healed me! I can't just sit here. I'm fine! Who cares if I can't remember everything? Where's Janet! I'll go even more crazy than I already am! Not that I am crazy. Janet!" I bellowed out for my doctor. Surely, she was here, she could hear me. I had to go through the Gate one more time before they discovered my secret. Just once. I had to help them.

"Well, that's exactly what you will be doing. You have more sessions with Doctor MacKenzie." Warner said with what looked like a satisfied smirk on his face.

"No! Please don't send me to MacKenzie." I begged, remembering how scared I had been this morning when he sedated me, seeing the bed and knowing he would restrain me. I remembered seeing MacKenzie in action with Daniel. He had been trying to tell us something, but MacKenzie wouldn't listen and just kept pumping him with drugs.

"I'm sorry, but I think this is the best course of action for you." Warner said unequivocally.

I kicked out, knocking an empty food tray to the ground. "NO!"

"Major, I can't let you out when you are like this. You have another appointment with Doctor MacKenzie tomorrow. After that, I may… and I only mean may, discharge you to stay in your base quarters."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't not like Doctor MacKenzie, I just didn't think I needed to see him again. My eval was going fine until shadow Jack showed up. The only reason I was here was because I accidentally punched him. I missed my guys. If they were here, I could ask for their help with getting me out of here.

"Where are the guys?" I asked, just remembering that I hadn't seen them in what felt like ages. I picked up my jug to pour a cup of water.

"SG-1 are on a search and rescue to find the Russian team." He informed me coolly.

"WHAT!? Why did they go without me! What happened about taking a team out of rotation huh!" I screamed, hurtling my water jug across the room, narrowly missing Doctor MacKenzie as he walked through the door with Colonel Reynolds.

"MAJOR!" Reynolds barked. I flinched at the sound I was sure I had never heard from him before. He'd always been quiet. I felt my bottom lip quiver as an onslaught of emotion crashed and a flood of tears streamed down my face. Dammit! Here I was crying. Again. Bringing my legs up and wrapping my arms around myself, I started rocking unable to control the feeling of complete helplessness with touch of rejection.

"Why would they go without me, they never go without me, don't they need me anymore?" I sobbed as I rocked back and forth. Something deep down told me I was being ridiculous, that they would always need me, that I was still a part of SG-1, that my reaction and emotion was unreasonable – so why couldn't I stop?

"Because the Russian Colonel asked them Major. Believe me, Colonel O'Neill was less than impressed." Reynolds informed me.

"Please Colonel, you have to call them back, they need me. Jack needs me. Please Sir!" I begged desperately, grabbing his arm to make my point. I didn't know why, or maybe I knew but couldn't remember. He deftly pulled away, giving me a look that I didn't know how to identify before casting his eyes to Warner and MacKenzie.

"Colonel O'Neill is a veteran black ops field officer, Major. He can handle a search and rescue mission with a team of three." Reynolds reminded me.

I shook my head. I couldn't believe he'd leave without me. Slipping off my bed and walking quickly toward the door, but strong arms wrapped around me halting my advance. "What? No! Let me go… where's Jack. JACK!" I yelled out in case he was outside. I twisted and lashed out hitting MacKenzie square in the same eye from this morning.

"MAJOR CARTER, control yourself, or I will have you strapped again!" Colonel Reynolds yelled, as he and Warner put me back onto the bed, while MacKenzie cradled his swollen face. "Colonel O'Neill and SG-1 are more than capable of going on a mission without you."

"NO! What if something happens to the Gate and they need me to fix it? They might be stuck. I'm the one that makes the Gate work if it's broken." I pleaded, again yanking on his arm. He pulled away and cast a glare at the two doctors, one nursing his eye. I had to go. They needed me. Every bone in my body told me that they needed me for something. Dammit! Why couldn't I remember. Looking at shadow Jack, he stared back but didn't give me any clues.

"Doctors. Office." Reynolds said and motioned with his head.

"We should restrain her." MacKenzie interjected.

"No, Doctor." Reynolds replied quickly, "Major, I order you to stay put." He said to me.

I watched as they walked out of my room. I felt the emotion bubbling up again. SG-1 needed me. Looking at shadow Jack, he nodded his approval. Never leave a man behind. I knew what I was doing was insubordination but I had to get to whatever planet they were on. Again, that little voice told me I was being irrational, so I pushed it away as I made my way off the bed, out of the room and down to the first bank of elevators. Walter would understand. He would let me go through the Gate. Once out of the elevator, I moved quickly to the locker rooms. My gear would be waiting for me like always. The coast was relatively clear, so I walked with purpose. I had only passed a handful of airmen, none of whom bothered to stop me despite my hospital gown and bare feet. Shadow Jack close on my heels.

Shedding my hospital gown, I noted my friend bringing my gear over. He made himself corporeal enough to help me. I wouldn't have any weapons, but I hoped I wouldn't need them.

"Nice." He drawled, looking me up and down. The sound of his voice combined with his lascivious perusal of my semi-naked form sent flutters through my body.

"Stop it. You can look and touch all you want later." I told him, "after lights out."

"Oh, I will. Samantha." He crooned, sending more excited flutters through me as I geared up as fast as I could, stopping only momentarily when a dizzy wave hit me. I couldn't let that stop me. SG-1 needed me. Jack needed me. I didn't know how I knew; I just did. Something was wrong. I left the locker rooms and made my way back toward the elevator just as a base alert sounded.

"Major Carter, Major Carter, return to the infirmary." The announcement came loud and clear.

Damn. That was fast. Stairs, I'd take the stairs. I spun around and made for the ladder well. Descending six floors wasn't easy wearing full kit, but I had done it before. It didn't take long to make it to the control room finding only Captain Simmons at his usual workstation.

"Major Carter, ma'am." He greeted hesitantly - as if he were worried I'd do something to him - before he stood and saluted. I liked Simmons, but right now he was in my way. I dropped him by applying pressure the spot on his neck, shown to me by Jack during sparring, before leaning forward over his display and pulling up the last few days of outgoing Gate activations. Finding the address for SG-1's mission, I smiled and initiated the dialling sequence. As the Gate whirred to life, I turned and made for the embarkation room. Suddenly it all stopped, then started again with the standard 'unscheduled activation' announcement. I looked up to see Walter and Colonel Reynolds in the control room, Doctor MacKenzie standing behind him and Doctor Warner helping Simmons back to his chair.

"Major Carter, you will return to the infirmary." Reynolds spoke into the intercom.

No, no, no… think! I paced as the Gate started dialling again. From the left side blast door, Doctor MacKenzie and the Colonel walked in.

"Now Major Carter, you need to come with me." MacKenzie said. I couldn't let him touch me. I wouldn't let him pump more of his poison into my body.

I shook my head, "No…" I threw a look to the Colonel, "Sir… SG-1 - they need me. Please." I begged as I backed away from them towards the dialling Gate. Unfortunately, I didn't have much of a rapport with Reynolds after the Orlin thing. I turned my head as I heard the blast door behind me close, two armed AF's coming up behind me. I looked back to see MacKenzie was now closer.

"Major, please you need to rest. C'mon now."

I shook my head again, "No… I'm fine, really." I pleaded. Everything happened so quickly. The Gate opened in a wash of blue as the AF's roughly grabbed me. "No… please!" I cried. I looked up to see SG-1 walk back through looking dirty with an injured unknown female officer wearing a Russian uniform. "See, I told you… I told you… they need me!" I cried as I tried to pull away without success.

"Carter." Colonel O'Neill said as he took in the full room, removing his ball cap and smacking it on his thigh, a puff of red dust clouding off it. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Jack please! Don't let them knock me out!" I begged as the AF's held me firm. He looked at me with a blank face while MacKenzie moved closer. "Sir, please?"

"Major Carter, please calm yourself. You're seeing things that aren't real." Doctor MacKenzie said. I watched as he approached me with a needle. He was going to knock me out again.

"NO! Please… no… no… I'm not crazy, I'm sorry… you're right, there was nothing there." I backpedalled on my insistence that shadow Jack was in the room. I felt fat tears roll down my face as I pushed backwards against the two AF's still holding me, but for some reason lacking the strength to break their hold. "Sir please!" I cried out again, looking into his eyes. "Jack!" I screamed, feeling myself beginning to hyperventilate to the point of panic. "Jack… please don't let them do this! I'll stop talking to him, I swear. I'll stop." I begged. I saw the moment he realised what, or rather who, I was talking about flash through his eyes. He knew. He'd seen him as well, or maybe he'd seen her. I knew I wasn't nuts. Struggling some more I pleaded with my eyes.

"Let her go." The Colonel said. I struggled some more before the AF's suddenly released their hold. I moved towards Jack as he moved towards me, his arms wrapping around me. "It's OK, Carter." He said as he held me. I saw him cast his eyes behind me for a moment. I followed his gaze to find MacKenzie standing by my shoulder.

Looking quickly back to him, I murmured, "Jack... what... no... I didn't... I'm not crazy... I'm..." just as the sting of the needle pierced my skin followed by the cold sensation of whatever was in it flooded my bloodstream. "I... I... mmm not cray...zzy, he's... real."

"I've got your six, Carter." He said as a kind of weird waking calmness took over my body. I could see, but everything was slow and fuzzy. I felt Jack tense up and say something to MacKenzie. I saw Teal'c come over and felt a wash of familiarity pass over me.

"I'm here Sam. Jack and Teal'c saved me." She said into my mind. I felt someone warm lift me into their arms. Looking up, it was him, and over his shoulder, the other him. I was surrounded by Jack. "Sleep now." She murmured and I closed my eyes, unable to keep them open.