I followed Knockout down the hall as I'd done a hundred times before, but never with as much trepidation; the apparent anxieties building within my systems over the past mega-cycle rising up to the occasion. My mind to me now was revealing itself to be my most prominent of enemies, the one battle I could never fight to win being with my own contradicting feelings. It was in the way my ideals swung to and fro from one high to another that I could never feel satisfaction in the choices I made, in knowing what I truly ever wanted or kept myself from wanting was forever an unobtainable standstill in my mind.
A lingering tug at my heels drifted back to the seeker I had left in my quarters. Twisted as I was, the newfound sensation of guilt won out in washing over me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Those words thrashed in my helm helplessly while I tried to regain my focus on what lay ahead. Starscream would always be there, I told myself. One thing I could rely on with what I knew of the seeker, was his strong instincts to always return no matter what. Orion or Optimus, however, was not so easily predictable, and was of a higher priority given the situation at hand.
The journey down the corridor felt both like an eternity and an instant all at once, for what reason is unknown to me, although I imagine it was mostly due to the drive of the unknown that awaited me. Upon reaching the room, it was the scurrying of the doctor over to the door that broke me from what felt temporary infinity. His hasty hands shook in an attempt to enter the access code, before being caught abruptly by my own. That was all it took for him to freeze as terror tremorred throughout his em-field. However, paradigm to what I know he expected, with surprising gentleness I slowly ushered him to the side. I could feel him staring agape as I entered the room code with a staged act of calm I centered upon myself. I had to remain calm, despite the war that waged within me, for his sake, for Orion…
With a familiar hiss the doorway groaned open. I did not know what to expect on the other side. For all I knew, I would be greeted with a well deserved slug to the face. Part of me wished for that. The feeling of steel against steel, the ancient call of the gladiator within me seeing it as the only true thing I deserved, what I desired to end this conflict. Instead, when the door did open and my optics focused on the berth, dismay struck my spark with immediate panic. Empty. My pedes felt magnetized to the floor as an illusioned weight pressed upon me, the gravity of the room feeling shifted though no such occurrence actually happened. Unable to move, my optics began darting around the room rapidly, searching for any sign of the absent mech or inclination of where he had gotten to. Nothing.
The doctor, who I had suddenly become aware was also still entering the room behind me, let out a dramatic gasp. His em field emitting confusion equal to my own, but also a rising fear that he would somehow be blamed for this. I couldn't focus on him long enough to care, that altered feeling shifting under my pedes now accompanied by a tilting and spinning of the room before me. Where.. Why.. How.. The questions assaulted my processor as I tried to regain hold of myself and the situation. It would not be until another mech's em entering the room disillusioned me from the chaos that attempted to engulf me.
Soundwave, like a ghost haunting the halls, entered the room with a silent calm that brought everyone's attention to him. His presence momentarily stilled the trembling in my spark as I realized he would only be here for something of importance. The eyes and ears of the decepticon's was a nickname well earned to him, and surely meant he must know something about what happened to Optimus. Not even a moment's hesitation, the screen of his face lit up with a map and a beacon, a red dot rapidly blipping and moving away from the Nemesis just before disappearing, the signal lost. The screen then switched over to one of recorded energy readings, the activity spiking in ground bridge levels, a clear indication that autobots had been and were no longer on my ship.
Unable to contain the emotional torrent that had coiled within me like a retroviper, I dared allow my fusion cannon at my side heat up with the tension I wished to release. Unsteady pedes of Knockout were heard behind me as he backed out of the room, the purple glow taking over the shadows before I hissed and let it fade. My resolve, in the back of my mind, hammered within myself that it was my fault everything came to this, that violence wouldn't solve it, and certainly would not bring him back. Frag. Frag it all.
Before anyone could say or do anything, I excused myself from the room, pushing past Soundwave, Knockout, and the vehicon that had been stationed outside the door. I didn't know where I was going, or where I wanted to go, just that I needed to be away from everyone, from everything. I couldn't go back to my quarters, knowing the seeker waited there. I couldn't return to the bridge, knowing I would never be left alone to sort through whatever this was that I was now feeling. I couldn't go back to Orion.. he was gone. All I had was the emptiness he left behind and knowledge that it was only I who pushed him away. I no longer cared about how he betrayed me in the past, I could no longer feel the resentment that had plagued me for vorns. That too had just as suddenly gone with him.
Eventually I found myself atop the Nemesis, the clouds blocking the view of the Earth below as I stared out into the nothing, wondering where out there Orion had been stolen off to. The deck was empty, just as I had anticipated it to be, knowing that at this altitude it was unnecessary for there to be need of anyone. Here, I knew that I could be alone with my thoughts, even if they did torment me with the things I could have or should have done, the millions of years of mistakes I had at my back tracing my spine like razors. It was that awful pang in my chest, constant and unforgiving that flared up again, the one that brought me into this mess, that brought me to my knees as I could not break from it's hold.
Of course, I was not deserving of this time in solitude, and it was taken from me as quickly as I found it. The roar of a jet engine struck sharply through the air, though invisible to the optic with the heavy covering of clouds. It was not long after its silence shattering sound that its perpetrator showed himself. And who else would it be, but Starscream.
He looked more refined than before somehow, clearly having come to some sense of semblance, which was more than I could state for myself. The air of confidence I had once admired in him all this time had resurfaced in the way he now stood before me; it emanated strongly from his em field, in the fine line that pursed his mouthplates, and in his smoldering optics that pierced directly into my own. What a pathetic sight I must have been, to even recognize that Starscream now held the reigns of control that should have been my own. I had hoped.. I had hoped for too much and this is what I deserved, perhaps, but I had hoped to be the one approaching him when I was ready. Things never do go my way.
"Well, well." The seeker started, sauntering around me as he began to encircle me like a surveillance drone. "You really gave everyone a show, didn't you? And for what?" His servo rose to his audio processor and he tipped his helm toward me tauntingly, knowing he did not expect a satisfactory answer. "It's not everyday I get to see the mighty Megatron not get what he wants, you know." A smirk then tore across face plates.
Starscream had me right where he wanted, however I was not going to give in so easily and allow him the indulgence of this. Still.. I reminded myself to consider how I react before I make any brash decisions, that as much as I wanted to, violence was not the answer. Would it give me relief? Oh yes, absolutely. That instant satisfaction I so craved to enact on was a temptation throbbing in the back of my processor. How easily it would be to obtain and relish in, especially after abstaining from that since Orion had boarded my ship.. Orion. That was exactly why I could not.
I took a long intake and allowed the desire to cause harm seep from my systems. "So says the thorn in my back that said he was done with this charade. Hm, Starscream?" My helm cocked to the side at that, reflecting the seekers snark back at him, which I knew he hated. Though I could be wrong, taking note that his smirk did not falter at that, maybe it even goaded him to continue.
"Oh my liege.. You know I'm never done until I've gotten what I wanted." He chuckled, still waltzing his way around me until he was behind me now, the hot air from his vents brushing against my plating. "You see… that's where you and I differ. You give up."
The words stung as they slid off his glossa, like knives being driven into my audios, and he knew it too. I clenched my fists and ground my denta abruptly, the image of Orion fading from my thoughts as the seeker's taunting enveloped everything around me. Was he bringing me back to my senses or pushing me further from them? The confusion on what I wanted was arising within me again, as I retained the sense of self I had gained after Orion left me the first time. Had I let myself submit to the weakness of my past self? No, Megatron does not submit.
"I hardly agree with that. In fact, I think that is where we are all too similar." I paused as I gathered my thoughts, smirking. "Though it is humorous for you to come back at me and say that when not moments before you claimed to want nothing." I had turned around to face him now, my overwhelming size casting shadow over the twiggy frame he sported in comparison. To my gratification, it did not phase him one bit, as the smaller mech held his ground before me. "You and I both know that we do not ever simply give up." The phrase rolled off my own glossa back at him as I leaned closely to his face, just so that there was only a hair thin space remaining between us. The pang in my chest was now a dim thrum, fading ever more into the background of consciousness as Starscream returned me from its dark embrace. I suppose it was him too, way back then, that had bolstered my pride into getting over the pain Orion had left me with the first time. Where he had abandoned me, Starscream had been the one to quickly usurp his place at my side, and there he always remained. Funny how it is that Starscream was truly loyal in that aspect. Sure we quarreled, more times than I could ever count, and he makes his chide attempts at replacing me, but he never abandons me. Never.
"Really?" Starscream's rebuttal broke me from my thoughts then. The way he glared up at me with challenge sent a thrill through my systems that I had nearly forgotten in our time apart. "The way I found you.. I must've been mistaken then by the defeated looking heap that remained of our decepticon leader." His servos then rose to rest on my chest plates, digits tracing what remained of the gash I had given myself before digging in just enough to return the wounds sting. I seethed then, a hiss escaping me as I relished the sensation of physical pain. It was enough to allow the remainder of the sharp ice in my spark to melt away, reminding me how much I enjoyed the way the seeker could take away what I would rather forget.
"Mistaken you were." I reached up to grab his servos within my own, pulling him closer to me, which caused him to evict a sharp gasp. Whatever I was feeling earlier had evaporated from myself in its entirety, replaced by a rekindled flame that washed away all else I had been burdened with. Whether it was love wasn't something I was thinking about, but I could not deny the connection I couldn't also simply let go that I had with Starscream. What I did know was that it was nothing short of a passionate flame between our two sparks, both of which were equally fighting to control one another, yet in a way that we benefited from each other in sharing. To be quite honest, we were two disgustingly awful cybertronians who deserved one another, and that was the way we liked it.
Allowing my worries to be completely absent from my mind, all of my focus was locked onto the petite flier trapped within my grasp, my hold on his spindly arms rigid as I accepted all of what we had between us. He did not hesitate to recognize my acceptance either, as even though his build was much smaller, the confidence building in his em field propelled him to make the first real move, his right leg raising up to wrap around my hip as he closed what little gap remained between our pelvic plating, face tilting upwards to press his mouthplates onto my own. It did not surprise me in the slightest, knowing all too well how much Starscream preferred to take the lead; and it was our little secret that I would allow him to indulge in that in our private times together. If anyone were to catch onto it, I would vehemently deny that on all levels.
Lip plating breaking apart, the seeker let a purr trill from his vocal processor as he moved to speak directly into my audial processor, "Shall we continue this elsewhere, my Lord?" He lilted, servos moving to clasp around the back of my neck cables. The forwardness of his drive sent a charge down my spine, one that only encouraged me to follow where this was going, any ounce of melancholy from earlier replaced with lustful desire. I would much rather indulge in the present pleasures at my servo tips, than mourn what I knew was lost and gone to me forever. What point would there be to wallow and allow myself to sink into the depravity of my own foolish weakness?
It did not take us long to retreat to my personal quarters, particularly because Starscream and I had taken no hesitation to transform and propel ourselves rapidly down the halls of the Nemesis. To what others saw, perhaps appearing that I was violently chasing the seeker in one of our regular old ruses, instead was rather a passionate display of want in truth. The way of a flier was quite different from terrestrial bound mechs, one that I had to get accustomed to when I took on this new alt mode shortly before arriving on Earth, but one I did learn to enjoy quickly. Having the ability to not only take to the skies, but to share that power with Starscream who so boasted about aerial supremacy, was the foremost satisfaction I took from it.
Now, upon my own berth, splayed like a stripped field rifle that had been more than disarmed by desire, I lay on my back and watched as Starscream took his place on top. His optics bore down into my own as he straddled my hips, his legs pressed up against the outer sides of mine firmly and holding himself steady. I wouldn't tell him this, I dare never say the words aloud, but he was breathtaking.. The prowess behind his meticulous movements, the way his wings flared above me, the directional flow of seams across his frame drawing you inwards. Intoxicating.
The heat of his panel flush against my own was causing my own core temperature to rise, my servos instinctively raising to grasp his thighs which earned me another smirk from the seeker who began to now grind back and forth against me. Our panels rubbed and chafed, inevitable scuffs being pressed into them, but all was part of the act after all. You could find no cybertronian who engaged in a good fragging to lack the swapping of paint, dents and scrapes, or other side effects depending on the participants.. And starscream and I liked to go hard. Any mech was blind to see beyond what looked like the aftermath of my rage to instead be that of what happens when you put our equally sadistic and masochistic sparks together.
Long claws suddenly dragging down against my chassis erupted a shudder throughout my frame, leaving fresh marks alongside my own from before. Glancing up at their maker, I could see the blatant satisfaction in his optics as he admired his work. He never was one to shy away from the pride he took in his deeds. I liked that about him. Those claws of his did not stop at that, weaving around my frame until they took hold deep into my seams; easy access to the soft protoform below that they now dexterously nicked at. The sensitive area below my plating being not only poked at, but just ever so slightly cut until energon lightly trickled out, sent only further waves of charged pleasure through me. My servos, still gripping his thighs, now dug into them, relishing the way his face gave away as he winced at the reciprocated pain. "Master~" He purred, optics flickering lustfully as his servos retracted from my seams. "You're being so gentle- don't tell me you've gone soft on me now."
The familiar teasing elicited a moderately agitated grunt from within my chest, to which I followed up with a combination of mostly snark but also an excuse I was hardly able to hide. "I would not want to take away from your time in control, would I? It is not very often I allow you this privileged opportunity." The words were true enough, although perhaps letting the seeker top me was not as rare an occurrence I would like to admit. I could tell he picked up on that right away too, as a chuckle reverberated through him and he leaned in to rub that little fact in my face plates. "Perhaps.. Not on the deck, no. Here though, where no prying optics are to see our Lord giving himself to his second in command so eagerly.." A single servo rose to his lip plates and he licked a stain of my energon off.
"Second in command, hm?" I was drawn back into the charade again, the delightful humor of our banter coming back to me. "I don't recall reinstating you." The smug look on my face plates may not have come across as I intended, given the position I was in, but it did not matter. The words were enough to play into the situation, and we would both have what we wanted at this moment. "Although.. I'm sure there is a way you could convince me of your.. capabilities." I wanted to be enveloped by the seeker, I wanted him to take charge of this situation and allow myself to let go and be taken care of. Too much of my time was spent trying to take control, bend reality to my will, only for it to never go my way. Giving Starscream the reins in the berth was an escape from that, one I well needed.
"As you wish." The words slid tantalizingly off of Starscream's glossa, one of his servo's reaching back under where his aft sat atop my spike cover, going lower down to where my valve eagerly waited behind it's cover. A delicate tap of his claw was enough to force myself to hold back from bucking upwards into him. I would not allow myself to be so willing.. Not yet. After testing my sensitivity, he moved onto tracing the cover's edge with his digits, easily finding the spot that caused it to snap open and reveal myself to him. Previously contained lubricants that had been building up now leaked onto the berth, no hesitation from Starscream at their welcoming aroma. Not a moment sooner and I felt his claw tipped digits driving into my exposed valve, roughly entering my tight unaccustomed entrance. Pain and pleasure flooded my systems, both of which I craved.
The way his claws tore at my inner walls filled me with exhilaration, feeling at least 2 of them stretching me open as they pushed against my sensory nodes. In accordance with the immense sensations, not having been touched in such a place for too long, I could already feel my charge building. I would be slagged if I let myself overload so quickly from his touch, but my body had already too soon started to betray me. His digits only continued to work me up as I fought against the manifesting release, pools of lubricant now dripping from my abused hole. In a change of pace however, just as suddenly as he had entered me, I felt those digits just as swiftly leave me gaping, empty.
Again, his digits raised to his mouth plates, allowing his glossa to lick at his now lubricant coated digits, before switching course and plunging them into my own mouth, forcing me to taste myself. "You like that, hmm?" He teased, feeling around my denta and glossa with his digit. "Do I not please the mighty Megatron enough to earn my place?" His digit then slowly pulled from me and trailed down my chin to my neck cables. There it caressed the cables gently, claw tips tracing along the seams where the cables met one another. The energon pumping within them pounded in my audial processor knowing that one slip and it would be spilling out and onto the berth. Of course that did not fill me with fear, only tempted me closer to the drawing conclusion of pleasure I was owed.
"I think.. That you may have almost earned a place." I said considerably, my optics wandering to the side as if in thought of the proclamation. He knew very well that we were not done until we were finished, there was no dawdling around that, everything about us was all or nothing. I looked back at him and saw him give a dramatic pout, just for theatrics no doubt. "Starscream.. You can not expect me to not want a full display of your abilities before I make such a decision." The way his name rolled off my glossa was more pleasant than it had been in a while, enjoyable to say even; another secret I would keep to myself.
"Oh I was just testing you, master." He cooed, now lifting himself off of me as he repositioned his place between my thighs. "I would never expect anything less, nor want to be handed something without rightfully earning it." From where he sat now, hovering over me on his knees, his servos grasped and propped my thighs up, spreading them apart. Looking down at his panel I watched it snap open, his spike pressurizing to that of decent proportion. It had been a very long time since anyone had entered me, with either digits, member, or any other appendage for that matter. It would not be the first time taking Starscream's spike though, one of the very few mech's that ever had that privilege, at least since my days in the mines. I had become unfond to others dominating me in any way from then, yet I could not deny my primal urges to be filled.
No more quips came from the seeker as the head of his spike began to rub along my outer node, coating itself in my lubricants as he readied himself. His optics looked hungrily down at my entrance as he prepared to enter me, glancing up and into my own just moments before thrusting into me. A gasp escaped me then, and I heard him grunt, my walls tightly wrapped around his length as I adjusted to the sensation. He was not very large, but neither was my valve, and the ridges of his spike were more than enough against my walls to evoke a thrilling pulse of electricity through me. Adjusting himself closer to me, he made sure to get every inch of himself inside, servos gripping tightly at my hips as he pulled myself tightly to him. Another glance up at me from him, and he was moving.
His rhythm was steady and forceful, hips smacking roughly against my own as he slid in and out of me. Ridges and grooves that decorated his spike pushed and pulled on my walls with the forward and backward motion of his thrusting. The charge that had been building within me exemplified tenfold as I struggled to keep any embarrassing sounds from leaving my vocal processor. All of which I could not restrain as gasps and muffled growls were elicited from me despite my desire to withhold them. Each one lit up the seeker with gusto and increased his pace, as he tried to get more out of me. Eventually it was too much for me to maintain as the moans erupted from me in the overwhelming pleasure I was experiencing. Deeper and harder he still managed to go, nearly driving me over the edge, his spike heating up within me as I felt himself getting closer.
"M-master I'm going to-" Another harsh thrust and it was over for Starscream in that moment as his overload breached my inner walls. Transfluid pouring into me as he came, the hot sticky fluids filled me to the brim, the excess leaking onto the berth as a shrill moan echoed in the room from the seeker's release. He held steady though as the fluid continued to overflow, my walls clenching around him and pulling all that I could in as my own overload soon followed. My denta ground roughly together as I came, but not for long as my mouth hung agape and a similar groan left me. Both of our fluids melding together in the aftermath of our fragging left the berth and ourselves a mess. When done the seeker pulled out and collapsed atop of me, ventilations rapidly inhaling and exhaling as he came down from the high. My cooling fans which had kicked on at some point without my noticing also reduced down to a steady thrum.
"I suppose.." I started after some time laying there. "I suppose that I could allow you to be second in command again." I felt a light chuckle reverberate through Starscream as I said the words, knowing that he knew I would have given him that regardless of this. Who else could take his place anyway? There was no one I knew as dangerously efficient than him. No other decepticon was ever as capable, as bold, or as daring to stand up to me.
My mind did somehow wander back to Orion at some point, to the time he was here on the ship with me. I looked at the seeker who had already drifted into recharge on my chassis, something that escaped me to my misfortune. In the hours that I could not sleep, Orion had returned to the forefront of my mind, his previous presence haunting the halls of my ship, haunting the corridors of my own mind. I did not wish to think of him, I wanted everything in my power to forget what I had striven for with him. For all the power I had, I was unable to free myself from that which he had over me. I hated that. I hated him for it.
Sanity: Well.. hello there. It has been.. *checks calendar* only 8 years...heheh. Oh scrap.
Um, well better late than never, right?
Knockout: That's the best you got? Drop off the face of the Earth for 8 slagging years, and that's what you tell them?!
Sanity: Uhhh, yup pretty much. I got nothing else. XP
Knockout: . . . Unbelievable.
Sanity: *ahem* Yeah... so for anyone that's still here after all this time, I cannot thank you enough for the support and your patience. You are all legendary!
Starscream: Yes yes, very good~ Excellent work with this one, I might add. Now as always to you little human readers, please review ❤️