AN-I know it's been a very long time since I've updated this but I have spent the last few years dealing with my mental health and I think I'm in the place now to finish this up. I think there's only about three more chapters which I have the majority of it all written out so it shouldn't take me long. If you are still here after all this time I thank you!

The present.

Maura's point of view.

I stay in the room with Theo, trying to avoid and ignore all the talk and arguing going on downstairs. Angela brings us dinner, and after getting Theo in bed and asleep I close my eyes tight to keep the tears at bay. I'm not ready to leave this room and return to Jane who has most definitely lied to me. But I finally get the courage to leave the room after my parents leave.

Jane's ending a call as I return.

"Do you think you could give me a ride home?" I ask Harrison.

"I'm sending him home. You're staying here tonight." Jane says.

"I don't think—"

"You're staying." Jane says. "In my bed, on the couch, in the goddamn bathtub. I don't care, but you're not going home. Not tonight."

"Fine." I can hear the exhaustion in my voice.

"But I'm going to bed." I eye the couch that fills the living room and the sadness that washes over me is almost enough to bring me to my knees because this is not where we should be not after last night.

"The bed in your room." I clarify.

Five minutes later I'm in bed, eyes wide open, when there is a soft tap at the door. I could pretend to be asleep. For a moment, I consider it. But while part of me is hurt and angry, the other part craves Jane.

It's that other part that wins. "Come in." I say. She enters and sits on the edge of the bed. Silence hangs heavy between us. "It's Hoyt." She says, breaking the silence and confirming what I already know. "I'm being charged with Hoyts murder."

I process this information, fitting it in with what I know of Jane and what I know about Hoyt's death. "But it was Doyle." I say.

"They're relying in part on the fact that I inherited his money."

"You did?"

She nods. "It was kept out of the press. I paid Doyle a good portion of that money to make sure it stayed out of the press. My enemies will argue that a million dollars is a strong motive."

"That's what they're arguing? But you have your own money."

"Most people with money want more."

"It's still a ridiculous argument." I say. "He probably left you the money because he felt guilty for being an abusive slimebag."

"I'm not sure Hoyt ever felt a moment of guilt in his life." Jane says. "At any rate, I believe they're putting more stock in the witness than into the money."

"So who is this witness?"

"A janitor. Elias Schmidt. He actually came forward right after Hoyt died, but Doyle paid him off and he disappeared before he said anything to the police. There was a tell all book in the works that was going with the hypothesis that I'd killed my abuser. He got it shut down and the rumors locked up tight."

I'm trying to follow all of this. "So the janitor was paid off, but he came back?"

"No." Jane says. "He didn't come back. The police found out about him and they went to him."

"How?"

"I don't know." Jane says calmly. Everything about her is calm, and I realize that she's gone into corporate mode. Shes relating the details of the transaction, but she's not getting emotionally involved. "But I think Doyle tipped them off."

I am beyond shocked. "What? Why? Why on earth would he do that?"

"To punish me for not telling you about him sooner."

I can't help the shiver that rips through me.

The truth is, I'm scared. "But they'll cave once you put on your defense. It'll be fine. I mean, it will cost you a lot of money, but you have the money. And you're innocent, so eventually they'll drop the charges."

"Money helps." Jane says. "But it's not a guarantee. And innocent people get convicted all the time. And besides." She adds, her voice as level as I have ever heard it. "I'm not innocent."

I stare, certain that I could not possibly have heard her words right. "No. No." I say. "Doyle killed him." If I say it enough, it will have to be true. "Doyle killed him."

I stare at Jane's face. Does she have it within her to kill?

The answer is not long in coming I know that she does. She would kill to protect me and Theo, I am certain of it. And she would kill to protect herself.

Suddenly, I no longer doubt her words. I shiver, but not because I am horrified. No, I tremble because I fear that I will lose her. That she will be convicted for protecting herself against a man who was truly a monster.

"Maura." She says, her voice infinitely sad. "I'm sorry. I'll go." She starts to get up off the bed.

"No." The word seems ripped from me, and I grab hard to her hand and pull her back down. "Don't leave me. You did what you had to do."

Slowly, Jane closes her eyes. I think that it is relief that I see on her face.

"Tell me exactly what happened." I say gently.

Jane lets go of my hand and stands up. For a moment, I'm afraid that she is leaving anyway, but then I realize that she just needs to move. She walks around the bed, then pauses in front of the window.

I look at her, and I hope that she will actually talk to me. I need to hear it. More, I need for Jane to tell me. And I fervently hope that the secrets she is so used to keeping won't tie her tongue now.

"Jane?"

She doesn't turn around. Doesn't even move. But I hear her voice, low and steady. "I hated him. And I hated myself. Not because I was ashamed...I was never ashamed. But because I had no power to stop him." She turns to me. "I learned how important power is. It's the only thing that can truly protect you, and when I was a kid I had none, but now all these years later I do."

I barely nod, afraid that if I speak or react to much, she will stop talking.

Just after I left you he started to threaten me. He had photographs. And there were..." She pauses and takes a deep breath. "There were other things that he threatened."

"What other things?" I ask gently.

"You and Theo." Her voice is so low and monotone that it gives me chills. "I thought leaving you would protect you, but I was wrong. he was going to take his sick games further." Jane meets my eyes. "I wasn't going let him."

"So you killed him?" I can barely hear through the pounding of my pulse in my ears.

"No." She says.

I'm confused. "What happened?"

"I've known About Doyle being your father for a long time, and I knew he'd help me protect you. I went to him and I made a deal, he would get rid of Hoyt and I'd tell you he's your biological father." Jane says. "I was there that night I watched Doyle kill Hoyt. She closes her eyes, and I see the tremor that shakes her body.

"They can't possibly convict you." I say. "You did nothing wrong."

"There was a moment when I could have saved him." She says. "I could have told Doyle to stop."

"Don't you dare feel guilty for that." I say.

Her eyes are hard when she looks at me. "I don't. I don't regret it for an instant."

"Jane, don't you see? You just need to tell the police all of this."

"All of what? About Doyle?"

"Yes." I say.

"No."

"But—"

"Maura, I said no."

I draw in a deep breath. "So what happens now?"

"Harrison and I are going to the police tomorrow. The legal team is already in place. I'm hoping that we'll be able to present a decent defense."

"You have a decent defense."

"Don't push me on that, Maura."

I nod, because there is no point in arguing this right now.

"You're going to come out of this just fine." I cannot even conceive of the possibility that she will be convicted.

"I'm not so sure." She admits. "But right now, I don't want to think about it anymore."

I pull the covers back and hold out my hand. "Then don't."

She meets my eyes again. "I should have told you."

"Yes." I agree. "But you've told me now."

For a moment all I can see is sadness in her eyes. Then she smiles, and it is as if light is filling the dim bedroom. "Don't ever forget how much you mean to me, Maura." She says as she moves to my side.

"I won't. But nothing's going to happen to you."

She says nothing, just leans in and presses her forehead against mine. Slowly, she strokes my face, her eyes hard upon me. "I want to memorize you." She says. "Every line, every curve. I want to lock you in my memory so that I will never be without you."

"You never will." I say.

"Maura..."

I expect her to say more or to kiss me, but my name hangs in the air. For a brief, odd moment, I feel a twinge of fear, but I shove it away. She will not be convicted, she will not be taken from us. I believe it. I do. But I reach for her and pull her closer to me, because I cannot stand her being away from me for even a second longer than necessary.