Warning: Heads up! This chapter contains purging. It also includes depictions and references to anorexia. You've been warned.

It's crazy (that someone could change me)

"She said what?"

"Doctor Chapman would like you to gain more weight. You're underweight for your age. With your stomach problems, not eating can make it worse. You must have something in your stomach, Helga."

"Oh, Criminy. Here we go again. I just told the doc I'd eat more. Nothing else you need to concern yourself with, sis."

"Oh silly! Don't worry. I told my school there was simply no way I could go back while you struggled so I'll be spending a couple of more weeks at home."

"Huh?"

"Isn't it great, Helga? We'll get to spend more time together as I nurse you back to health."

"Yeah, no. I'm fine and you need to go back to Alaska."

Olga just smiled at her sister. She was determined to wear down Helga's walls. "You always could see what I couldn't Helga. But I'm not wrong about this. That's why I will be here to get you better as your big sister."

"No, Olga. You need to go. I don't need your help."

"Oh baby sister, I'll go make you a snack and you can have a nap, okay?"
If Helga didn't know better Olga's turn bordered on being condescending. It was like she knew she wasn't needed but still wanted to insert herself in Helga's life.

Helga watched her sister make her way out of her room and flopped on her bed particularly hard. So hard she almost bounced off the bed. "Criminy! I'm never getting rid of her!" She rolled over and screamed into her pillow.

So much for keeping Olga at bay.

Helga, although she'd never admit it, waited by her cell phone for Arnold to call her. Now that she felt mostly better, she wanted to speak to her boyfriend. The one who seemed to make her life even better than it ever was.

It was just shy 30 minutes of school letting out, that she heard her phone ring. Looking down in happiness she picked up the phone, admiring Arnold's name flashing across her screen.

"Hey football head." She gleamed practically. Hearing Arnold's voice mostly put her in a good mood, even when she was annoyed with him.

"Hi, Helga. How are you feeling? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Arnold. Way better than this morning, that's for sure."

Hyelga launched into telling him how the visit to the Doctor went. She was careful to omit the part about eating more. She'd cross that bridge when it came to it.

"And it's only acid reflux?" Arnold asked.

"Yeah, hairboy. Pretty bad coming from the doc."

"Well, I'm glad you went to the Doctor and took the day off. You looked sick. I almost didn't want to leave you alone."

"Relax football head. I didn't die."

"I just worry about you. It's been hard to see you not eat especially when I know you enjoy food."

Helga snorted. "Stop anytime bucko."

"There's nothing wrong with liking food, Helga. When you go from eating it regularly and consistently to not eating at all, it becomes an issue."

"So you're saying I have an issue?"

Arnold sighed. He chose his words carefully. I think you just have something you're hiding you don't want anyone to know."

"Pfft show what you know."

"But I guess I should ask if it's worth it?" Helga paused. He knew her better than anyone else. His uncanny ability to be able to read her after San Lorenzo always unnerved her.

"My stomach's just messed up Arnoldo. Nothing more than that."

"But if it was more than that, you'd tell me, right? Arnold asked concern and worry etched in his voice. No matter how many times Helga told him nothing was wrong or that everything was okay - he still couldn't get Helga's tear-stained face, her cold hands, and the dark rings under her eyes.

"Yes, football head. I'd tell you."

"Helga.." Arnold wanted to ask the girl if he could come by. To see that she was okay. He wanted to see it physically before believing it was all okay. He didn't care that they fought earlier (though it was mostly one-sided).

"What?"

"I love you." That was what came out instead. Since he learned to say those words to Helga it seemed to pour out of him. It was true, he loved the girl. He loved her so much that it hurt. It genuinely broke his heart to leave her at the Nurse's office earlier. Even though he knew she wasn't alone and she was in capable hands, those hands were not his own. He felt lost without her today.

Helga almost swooned if she wasn't already lying on the bed. "Love you too, goofball." She never got tired of hearing those words.

Helga groaned as she got up from the bed. She was feeling nauseous with all the food Olga practically shoved down her throat. The doctor wanted her to gain weight, not another stomach. If Olga didn't let up soon, Helga was sure she was going to blow up.

"Helga, baby sister, I have your second snack waiting for you. Come down and eat it please."

"Forget it. I've eaten enough today, Olga. If I start feeling bad I'll eat something and take an antacid."

"But, Helga-"

"What did I just say? I'll eat if I feel worse!" Helga called out over her shoulder. She slammed the bathroom door, locking it as she braced herself for what she was going to do. She had to get rid of the extra food. She'd keep a little bit in but she'd get rid of everything after the soup Olga also forced down her throat when she got home.

Helga leaned over the toilet and forced her right index finger down her throat, pushing up against her gag reflex. She spluttered, coughing for a few seconds before she felt the barely digested food rise up her throat.

Looking back, she didn't realize she'd also throw up the antacids she took willingly.

Helga groaned leaning over the porcelain. She hated this part. Feeling each chunk of undigested food always made her feel gross. She was gross for doing this to herself.

Still, she got herself this far she had to finish it out. Feeling tears leak out in the corner of her eyes, Helga gripped the bowl with both hands, fully leaning into the toilet.

'Just a few more heaves ol' girl .' She heaved and shuddered as she threw up undigested crackers.

Unfortunately, Helga didn't realize how hard it would be to stop throwing up on command. It wasn't easy to just stop throwing up right after starting. She choked on the bile, feeling it go down the wrong pipe. She coughed hard a few more times, desperate to get it under control.

After a few moments, it seemed to have worked. Helga sighed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She leaned over and flushed the toilet, desperate to get it out of her sight.

Her throat felt raw and scratchy. She placed a hand over her throat, attempting to rub away some of the soreness. She laid on the floor for a few more minutes. The last thing she wanted to do was get up. Sighing after rubbing her neck extensively, Helga took a deep breath, wincing at the sour taste in her mouth that reeked of overwhelming vomit, or as she affectionately called it, barf. Grossed out Helga got up and grabbed her toothbrush.

Now that her stomach was mostly empty, Helga was starting to feel better. Still worthless and ugly, but lighter.

That's all she could bring herself to care about.

Saturday was finally here and Helga couldn't have been more excited. Texting Arnold she was on her way, she ran down the stairs, took the bottle of antacids with her, and headed out of the house.

Helga opened her door and was shocked to see Arnold standing at the front door with a hesitant smile. "I hope you don't mind me coming to meet you. I wanted to make sure you got to the boarding house safely."

Helga raised an eyebrow and playfully elbowed the boy. "Sure, Arnoldo, lead the way. Y'know if you can manage."

He smiled that smile she loved the most. He reached out for her hand and she intertwined their hands. Looking down at the boy's hand, she squeezed it.

They made their way to the boarding house both feeling better than they did the day before.

Helga picked up a CD and flipped to the back to read more. She rolled her eyes as her boyfriend asked her how she was feeling like they didn't already have that conversation last night.

"You're worse than Phoebe."

"Are you going to make things right with Phoebe?" He sat on the sofa watching her open the jazz CD and placing the disc into the CD slot.

"For crying out loud! She's the one who got me detention, made me late, and hasn't stopped being a thorn in my side for the past few weeks. Why do I have to apologize? I have nothing to be sorry for." Helga. annoyed by the question replied.

"It's not too late to make things right." He shot her a knowing look.

"Yeah, you should be telling her that." She leaned over to the stereo, turning the music up more.

"Tell me what happened." He got up and walked to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders, softly swaying to the music.

"There's nothing to say that I haven't already said, Arnoldo." Helga turned around and wrapped her arms around the blonde boy.

"You two are close. I've never known Phoebe to argue with anyone, ever. It's unlike her." He placed his hands gently on her hips, moving them both to the gentle beat of the track.

"Yeah well, she did. And she had the nerve to say I treat her like something stuck on the back of my shoe. Pfft. who needs her. I sure don't." Helga said, starting to re-live some of her anger. Arnold raised one of his hands, softly rubbing her arm in an attempt to soothe her.

"Helga, all she did was be a friend to you. Do you mean to tell me it wouldn't hurt you to lose her?" He took one of her hands and kissed it softly.

"Fat chance." Helga rolled her eyes.

"Phoebe told me her side of the story and I'd like to hear yours." He placed both his hands back on her hips, the pair softly swaying to the music.

"I already told you, Dr. Phil, that there was nothing more to say." She allowed the boy to twirl her.

"Are you sure?" He brought her back around and maintained eye contact with her.

"Yeah- what - what did she say? Not like I care or anything.." Helga asked in false bravado. She wrapped her arms again around the boy's shoulders

"I think you care more than you want anyone to know. Besides, no one would judge you for calling and talking to her. She is your best friend. Maybe you two can decide on a neutral space and discuss things. Sometimes having space before the meeting could do you a lot of good, Helga." He dipped the girl.

"Are you giving me a lecture? Me, your girlfriend." Helga cocked a brow.

Arnold sounded sheepish, as though he couldn't help himself. "I gave her the same speech." He raised the girl again as the song came to a close.

Arnold's new sound system started to play the next track.

"Of course you did. You just can't help yourself, can you?" Helga smirked dragging the boy over to the bed to kiss him. "Practically all week I had to go without a single after-school kiss." She peppered the boy's face.

Arnold leaned back, bringing Helga to the bed as well. He ran his hands through her loosened pigtails down to her arms. "I've missed you too." Feeling her delicate skin against his felt amazing.

Helga giggled and pounced on the boy. "And now I have you all to myself." She leaned down and kissed the boy deeply, moaning as she covered herself completely over him. She felt like she was melting.

She sighed into his mouth, moving her knees up, straddling him. She laid her hands underneath his head and continued to kiss the boy, moving down his neck.
In a way, Arnold was completely helpless and at her mercy as she leaned over the salt on his skin. "Did you miss me, Arnold?' She kissed her way up the boy's neck.

"Yes," Arnold moaned. "I missed you so much."

"Did you miss kissing me?"

"Yes! Helga." He stopped the girl and brought her up, wrapping his arms around her waist. He brought her closer to him. Both could feel the other's heartbeat.

"Doesn't it feel good to be this close?" Helga whispered. She kissed his ear, looking at the boy with a twinkle in her eyes.

"It always feels good to be around you." Arnold squeezed her waist, bringing them even closer together. He rubbed invisible circles around her hips as she leaned back, coming up for air.

The two blondes looked at each other with half-lidden eyes. Helga leaned down again and licked Arnold's bottom lip. Arnold taking the hint opened his mouth and the two kissed open-mouth. To their amazement, each time they did a French kiss it seemed to have been better than the last. Helga no longer feeling the burning in her stomach practically arched her back.

She didn't care her hair was messy or that her dress was riding up. She just wanted to be near the boy she practically worshipped for over 8 years.
She tilted her head just slightly and connected with Arnold's mouth again.

And again.

Helga sighed into her beloved's mouth as Arnold's hands pulled out her ponytails. He threaded his fingers through her long, beautiful hair in marvel. "You have the prettiest hair."

Helga rolled her eyes, "A couple of kisses and you act like you've never seen hair before."

"Yours is different." He whispered, rubbing the blonde silky strands.

She smiled despite how corny he sounded. Leaning down she kissed the boy again. "My little football head." She kissed the boy's left cheek, forehead, nose, and right cheek. "And to think you didn't want to make out. Now look at you."

Arnold let go of the girl's hair and rolled them over on his bed. He rubbed her arms as he lay completely on top of her. "What can I say?" He kissed the girl's neck, "I'm a simple guy."

Helga sighed, closed her eyes, and surrendered to Arnold's sweet kisses.

Was this what heaven felt like?

A/N: Thanks for reading. Looking back, this was probably one of my favorite chapters to write.

Edit: I made some changes when I realized my line breaks didn't transfer over when uploading this chapter. Sorry about that!