Chapter 9

When Marcus woke up from his restless sleep, he was even more tired than the night before. It was still way too early, and he didn't have to get up for another hour or so, but he didn't think he would be able to fall back asleep. Groggy, he scrubbed his face to remove sleep from his eyes, planted his feet on the floor, got up and dragged his feet to the bathroom. A cold shower was what he needed to clear his mind and prepare for the day ahead.

His worry about Abby only intensified, unsure of what triggered last night's events he was determined to find out. Pushing her was not something he wanted to do but this couldn't go on for much longer, it had to stop before she completely lost herself, he wanted to help but he couldn't do that without knowing what was going on. A stream of cold water hit his skin, abusing it, waking up his sore muscles as goosebumps prickled his skin.

Marcus stood in the middle of his room, dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans, his body shivering. If he thought a cold shower would help him, he was mistaken. Instead of feeling refreshed, he just felt cold, his warm bed tempting. He shook his head and looked at the clock, breakfast should be ready, some warm food was bound to wake him up. He grabbed his shirt and left his room. As he was locking his door, the room next to him opened and Abby walked out, shock clearly visible on her face when she spotted him. He offered a warm smile, her eyes rimmed red, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail with her cardigan wrapped tightly around her body, and her palms hidden in her sleeves. A new habit he noticed recently. She stared at him without moving.

"Morning," he said trying to break the awkward silence, not knowing whether he should ask her about the night before, worrying she might be too embarrassed to talk about it.

"Good morning." She shook her head bringing herself back to reality. With her doors locked, she tried to walk past him and Marcus scanned his brain for words to say but nothing came to him. He turned to her as she passed by when she stumbled on her feet, lightheaded. Immediately, he grabbed her elbow, steadying her, his other hand landed on the small of her back offering support.

"Wow, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thanks." She avoided his gaze.

"When was the last time you've eaten?" he asked but she didn't answer. "I'm going to get some breakfast, will you join me?"

Abby looked at him with her big, dark eyes and scrunched up her forehead considering his offer.

"Thank you but I'm not hungry, I have to—"

"Bullshit!" he raised his voice and her eyes widened in shock. "You've been saying that for weeks now. You're not fine and you haven't been eating."

"I'm eating just fine; I don't need a babysitter!"

"You clearly do, you almost just fainted. Again! It's not the first time, don't think I haven't noticed." He rubbed his face and added in a calmer tone, "Please, talk to me."

"I have and you haven't listened. I told you that I needed to be outside the door, and you ignored my request. Why would I talk to you now when you think you know better," she spat immediately regretting her words and yet, she doubled down, looking at him defiantly with her chin up, she added, "I can take care of myself."

"Just like last night, right?" he wanted to kick himself as soon as the words left his mouth. He squeezed his eyes and winced.

Abby's face fell, her defiant expression changed to broken in a matter of seconds, she stared at him with wide eyes, unsure if she heard him correctly. Her body flinched and she stepped away from his hand still on her elbow, his hand left hovering in the air.

"Abby, I'm sor—"But she turned around and stormed off into the dim hall without letting him finish.

Kane was left alone, paralysed and horrified at his own words; he scrubbed a hand over his face. He lost his patience; he shouldn't have done that. Abby tested his limits but he knew better than that, he knew she wasn't in a good place, he vowed to be patient with her but there he was, doing the exact opposite. Especially after last night when she was so broken. He slammed the door with his palm, the loud bang echoed in the empty hall. "Fuck!" he swore. With his head hung low, resigned he dragged his body towards his office. He lost his appetite and didn't want to see anyone, what he needed was time to think of how to fix this mess.

Later that day, he decided that he needed to apologize to her. Sure, she wasn't without blame but he knew what she was doing, that she tried to push him away and he knew better than to take her bait.

"Afternoon, Jackson," he said as he entered the medical, his back rigid, head held high, putting on a brave front even though he felt anything but that. "Is Abby in her office?"

Jackson looked up from him datapad, "Yeah, her last patient just left, she's still in."

"Thanks." Marcus took a step towards the door but it swung open and Abby marched out, her gaze fixed on Jackson completely ignoring Kane.

"I'm done for the day, if you need me, you know where to find me." She walked past Marcus like he didn't exist, like he was a mere object like a desk that was in her way.

"Abby…" He tried but she was out the door before he could continue and chasing her was pointless, he knew as soon as he stepped out the door, she'd be gone. He had no idea how she did that but she'd been able to disappear in mere seconds, like there was a secret door somewhere. He made a mental note to check the bunker blueprints because a secret passage would be the only explanation to Abby's ability to disappear whenever she wanted to. Instead of going after her, he turned to Jackson.

"What happened yesterday?"

"What do you mean?"

"The speaker announcement. What happened then?"

"Oh! That." Jackson's face fell. "Rose, have you met her?"

"I think so. She had some sort of an infection, but it was looking good, wasn't it?"

"She passed away last night."

Rubbing his chin, Marcus frowned; Abby had lost patients before, but it didn't quite explain the state she was in.

"What sort of infection?"

A shadow ran through Jackson's face, he pressed his lips together unsure whether he should violate Rose's confidentiality but then again, she was dead and there was no need for secrecy anymore, he swallowed and said, "Polis."

A shiver ran down Marcus' spine and his stomach tightened as a wave of nausea hit him.

"What about Polis?"

"Rose refused to take the chip; she was the last one to be crucified."

"Her wounds, they haven't healed?"

"No. Abby had to amputate Rose's hand in the hope of stopping the infection from spreading."

"It didn't help, did it?"

"No." Jackson shook his head. "She collapsed yesterday and went into cardiac arrest. Abby tried to save her but there was nothing she could do…"

Jackson's words faded, Marcus could no longer concentrate on them. Memories flooded his brain, the screams, the blood, the pain, his fear of losing Abby… She never stopped blaming herself for what happened to him and Rose was just a proof of what could have been, what could've happened to him. He squeezed his eyes and clenched his fists. The night before, Abby checked on his healed scars. He found it odd at the time but now, it made total sense.

"Thank you, I have to go," he said, no longer able to focus on the man sitting by the desk. In a haze, he left the room, his step quick, determined. He needed to find Abby but first, he had to gather his thoughts. As he marched through the halls with his back straight, people moved out of his way after taking one look at his face and he didn't even notice, lost in his thoughts. He would make this right, he thought.

Hours passed since their brief encounter in the medical and Kane still had no idea how to handle this situation and even if he did, he had no way of finding her as Abby's ability to disappear in this limited space was impressive.

"Marcus, are you listening to me?" Jaha's voice took him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, the vent. Do you think it's serious?"

"It wouldn't appear so but it's odd. I'll check it myself just in case.

"You do that," Marcus answered absentmindedly.

"Am I boring you? You seem preoccupied."

"Yes, yes, are we done here?"

"It would seem so." Jaha furrowed his brow and looked at Marcus quizzically.

"Great." Marcus pushed his chair back and got up. "I'm going to the mess hall; I need something to eat."

Jaha only nodded in reply and Marcus left the room. Truth be told, he needed a drink more than anything, but he didn't want company and the rec room, the only place that served alcohol, would be full at this time, so he resigned himself to getting some food, hoping that he had a bottle of moonshine in his quarters for later. He still hadn't figured out what to do about Abby. With a straight back, he marched inside the mess hall with the purpose of getting in and out as quickly as possible. But as soon as he entered the room, his eyes met hers and he was taken aback, it was the last place he expected to bump into her.

Abby held his gaze for a brief second, her body tensed up, her eyes turned cold, and she proudly looked away, refusing to meet his eyes again. A woman next to her said something and Abby nodded in response but her resolve was crumbling, her eyes fixed on the floor, her shoulders slumped. His heart broke into thousands of pieces with how sad she looked, and he was at least partially responsible for it.

Unsure of what to do, he looked away and just stood in the queue to get his food, guilt washing over him when Leanna approached him. He smiled politely at her, but his mind couldn't quite focus on what she was saying. His eyes drifted to the spot Abby was in but she was now gone, he scanned the room and caught the sight of her head, her warm, brown hair flowing freely behind her as she walked out of the room without as much as a glance in his direction.

Despite his initial plan of talking to Abby, the next few days passed without them speaking. She was avoiding him and truth be told, he was too scared to approach her, still unsure of what to tell her but he knew that the first move was on him. And the occasion happened by chance. He happened to be alone in the library, searching for a book on the bunker founder's history when she entered the room without noticing him. He moved to stand by the door.

"Abby." she flinched in surprise and spun around to face him with her arms crossed in front of her, looking anywhere but at him. She shifted her weight, an impatient look in her eyes, clearly annoyed that the only exit was now blocked by his body.

"I wanted to apologize, I shouldn't have—"

"It's fine, you only told the truth. I'm sorry for burdening you that night, I had no right and I apologize, it won't happen again." Her voice emotionless, detached.

"No! That's not what I meant."

"It's perfectly fine, I understand. You can rest assured that it won't happen again."

"This is not what I meant, and you know that!"

"Do I? Because you made it quite clear—"

"Marcus! I've been looking everywhere for you." Leanna's voice came from behind him and Abby raised her eyebrows questioning him.

Damn it, he thought and turned around allowing Leanna to look inside. As she spotted Abby, her gaze moved from Abby to Marcus and back. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting something? I can come back later."

"No, you're not interrupting anything, I was just leaving." Abby used this occasion to escape without looking at either of them.

Marcus clenched his fists and jaw; this was not going well.

"Are you sure that I'm not interrupting?"

"Don't worry about it. Why were you looking for me?" He changed the subject and walked out of the room to join Leanna; his mind still focused on Abby.

End of Chapter 9