1.

I'm just writing a quick update. Since my previous journal entry was written, Selina and I have officially imprisoned every single priest of the Miseryst religion, for various crimes which they all confessed to. The more law-abiding citizens of Gotham are going insane with the realisation that over 200 people in the city have been secretly committing horrible crimes for the past few decades, with no police detection or even investigation. Public opinion towards the police of Gotham City is rapidly turning sour, while their support of Catwoman and Batman is only increasing.

Today, Selina and I tied up the last Miseryst priest preaching in Gotham City. It is a monumental achievement that reminds me of my achievement relating to the gun stores, except this time, I feel proud of it. It feels different to the gun shop achievement. Perhaps it is because of the relative lack of anger I feel after the accomplishment, instead allowing myself to truly appreciate what I have done.

Now that Selina and I have removed the final priest from Gotham City, nearly the entirety of the Miseryst community has vanished. It seems like, when the Miserysts heard about their fellow believers going rogue because of a corrupt priest being showcased on the news, they assured themselves that it wouldn't happen to their priest. But then it did happen. To every single priest. And now that the last one is gone, only one available religious leader remains.

The Mage of Misery.

As Selina and I were tying up our final priest today, after going through some intense security avoidance, and as we placed the priest's journal on his drawer, contacted the police, and got ready to leave, the priest looked up at us, his face a mask of loathing directed towards us.

"Wait," he said, "I have something to say to you two sinners."

Selina and I turned around with inquiring expressions on our faces.

"I know that you two have been sent by the evil hands of Misery, as an attempt to weaken our God Ferdinand by removing his followers. I know your evil plans. I know you bathe in the sweet scent of innocent followers of Miserysm being turned away from the light of truth, and I know that you bask in the imprisonment of innocent priests like myself.

I hate you for that. I hate that you managed to sway so many innocent sheep on their way to the comforts of the barn, only to be led into the forest and eaten by wolves. I lament that we have lost so much, and that people have reverted back to sin. I wail that this is the case, and, as I look upon you two, I can barely bring myself to speak in front of the enemies of our God Ferdinand.

I know that speaking to the servants of Misery is sinful, yet I choose to do it anyway, for the words that I wish to speak are important.

Know, you demons of lies, know that you will never eradicate the holy light of Miserysm. No matter how tough the times may seem, no matter how many members we lose, no matter how many of us you imprison, there will still be a fraction of us somewhere out there, still praying, still believing in a return to the days of truth.

I know that you laugh at these words, spoken by the last current priest of Miserysm not in jail. I will join my brothers soon, as you have unlawfully forced me to falsely confess to crimes that should not be crimes. Yet I will confess not out of fear for my life, but out of hope that, one day, we will all be freed and allowed to preach unreproached again. I believe sincerely that that day will come. Until then, however, I will sit in my cell and pray for the strength and faith of the remaining group of Miserysts.

For although your wickedness has been far and throughout, there still remain a fraction of the population who still have faith. It is only a small fraction, but it is enough. It gives me hope of continuation. No matter the atrocities you commit, we will still have our texts, and we will still have our apprentices, who we will join with once again on one glorious day.

And if you two think that you can change this, that you can somehow get to these noble people, think again, you evil rats. All of them are safely sheltered within the vast mansion of our great Mage of Misery. There, they are secure and free from your harm and influence, and there they will remain, as faithful as ever, until a new era begins.

And if you think you can get inside this building, I chuckle at your folly. You think you can fool our wise Mage of Misery? That is utter stupidity to its very core. Our Mages have to take intense intelligence tests before they can be accepted into the revered role. All of the Mages we have had in the past have been vastly intelligent, and our current one is no exception. If you think you can outwit her, I welcome you to try, but none can stand against her pure craftiness.

And although I go to confinement, I think of the Mage of Misery, her mansion, and the faithful members under her care, and I am filled with hope. Hope which you will not take away from me. Hope which I will keep until I am freed."

The priest finished his monologue and looked at us defiantly. We shrugged.

"I guess we'll see what happens," purred Selina.

"You're all fools," snarled the priest, "Every single heretic is a laughable fool."

We decided to leave after that. It does give me some nervousness about facing down the so-called Mage of Misery, but, as Selina said, I guess we'll see what happens.

2.

The home of the Mage of Misery was the one place that we did not get a blueprint of from the first priest we convicted. This meant that we went in there with a complete lack of knowledge of what to expect beneath those looming iron gates.

We stood in front of those gates, Selina and I, in the middle of the night, only being illuminated by a far-off street light. I felt a shiver pass through me as I remembered the final priest's words to us. Before, I had not given them much thought, but here, under the dark sky, with barely any sources of light, about to climb over a tall fence into an unknown mystery land we were not prepared for, well, it could give any person a new viewing of that speech.

The Mage of Misery was simply a person, but as I looked into that unfathomable darkness, I wondered what kind of person she was. Could we actually outwit her? I took a deep breath. There was only one way to find out.

Selina and I had found the front gates a few minutes beforehand, but there were four guards there, so we decided not to enter from that place, especially considering the vast amount of fence we could climb over instead. The Mage of Misery was clearly extremely wealthy, because her property covered at least five miles, with a forest completely surrounding the mansion, being in turn blocked by the fence which we were currently staring at. The mansion itself was not currently visible, and it would appear that we would have to walk through quite a few miles of forest to get to it. And who knew what terrors lay in there?

Other guards were patrolling the perimeter of the fence itself. We had almost been caught by one of them as he had passed through. Selina had quickly hidden us behind a nearby bin until the guard had walked on. It would not be much longer before another one came into our sight. We would have to get into the property quickly if we wished to avoid capture.

Again, the tension of the night pressed on my consciousness, a time where anything seems possible, where all the terrors and dangers of the world seep out from underground and walk amongst the streets of humanity freely. You can feel that in the unknowable sky, in the cheerful yet alarming chirping of crickets, in the occasional screech of a rat far off. It vastly adds to the sense of insecurity on a mission such as the one we were undergoing. The mission, which, if completed, would effectively remove the Miserysts from being any considerable threat to Gotham City for a long period of time, if not forever. It was vastly important that we succeed in the mission, for both the citizens of Gotham and for myself as well.

I started to make a move towards the fence, but Selina stopped me.

"Bruce, wait a minute," she purred, "That could be an electric fence."

She threw a stick at the fence. It buzzed, with a few sparks of electricity flying off.

"I thought so," she said.

"What do we do?"

Selina took out her whip and threw it up to the top of the fence, onto which she attached the whip.

"See if you can do this," she said, "With your neo-karate training, you should be fine, but watch carefully."

Using the whip, Selina then jumped up into the air, and, as she was in freefall, she yanked upon the whip, which successfully pulled her over the fence and onto the private property of the Mage of Misery, where the glooming forest lay.

"You think you can do that?" she purred.

"I'm sure I'll be fine," I responded, although I was sweating profusely near my armpit area.

I pulled out my grappling hook and shot it up into the sky. It caught onto the fence. I tugged on it to make sure it was firm. Then, starting with a run-up, I launched into the air. For one or two seconds, I felt the exhilaration of wind blowing against your face, of launching off the ground that we humans are so tied to for most of our lives, but then I saw the incoming doom of the electric fence, and I let out a little squeal.

"Pull, Bruce!" shouted Selina.

I tugged on the grappling hook once more, and, before I knew it, to my utter relief and amazement, I had joined with Selina at the borders of the woods. Selina nodded in appreciation of my stunt.

"Good job," she purred, "Now, let's get a move on."

We slowly walked into that unfathomable mass of trees, blowing gently in the breeze, seeming too tall to be trees, as if the arrival of the night had caused their growth. Before, whenever we had trespassed, I had felt like the buildings had been disapproving, but now it was the trees. We walked among them, row after row of bark and wood and leaves, swaying gently in the dark. The air was filled with the rustling of foliage, the cracking of branches, the hooting of owls, and the sweeping of bats. I noticed that most of the trees we walked by were the same as the tree on the masks.

"Follow in my footsteps," Selina had told me before we had entered the forest, "There could be traps at any place here, and you don't want to fall into one."

I heeded her advice now, watching carefully lest I step into the wrong place. I thought I heard something shuffle in the bushes nearby. Something that seemed big. I shivered and carried on, the flashlight from my phone moving forward and leaving the place I had just been through in darkness. I had the sudden feeling that I was like Schrodinger's cat, trapped in a dark box with the possibility of survival, but also a very real possibility of death.

I was yet again distracted by the shuffling in the bushes. Unconscious of what I was doing, I stepped back, and then found Selina and myself suddenly being dragged by ropes and flying into the air. We flew into a clear box-like construction, hit the top of it, and then flew back down. By this time, the box had closed the opening through which we had entered, and we were now trapped in it.

"Bruce!" hissed Selina, "I thought I told you to only stick to my footsteps!"

"Sorry!" I said guiltily, "I was distracted by shuffling in the bushes."

"Oh, sweet catnip. What is that thing?"

I looked at where Selina was pointing, and saw that, in another sealed off part of the box, was a large serpent, three times my size, its body a bright yellow. It was looking at us very hungrily.

"Hello, my good heretics and servants of Misery," boomed a female voice from a speaker somewhere, "I am your host for tonight's entertainment, the Mage of Misery!"

In the background of whatever room she was in came a round of applause.

"Now, our two contestants for tonight are truly the worst scum ever to be put onto human land! Causing people to turn from the light of our God Ferdinand, the Ensnarer of Happiness, the Defeater of Misery? That's a big no-no."

A round of booing ensued.

"I'm assuming you two are unknowingly sent by the evil machinations of Misery and whatnot, but you probably don't believe in any of it, do you? You're so blind that you can't even see that you're working for Misery. Oh, well. I guess I should tell you that the snake in that box is a descendant from the Giant Serpent of Sodom, but you wouldn't believe me, so why bother?

Your challenge, my dear Misery-worshippers, is obvious when you take a look at that padlock. Yep, that one right there. As you can see, it has a bunch of numbers scrambled around randomly. These numbers, when reassembled correctly, will allow you to open your cage and you will be free to continue your journey. You only have one chance to do this. If, however, you fail to unscramble the code within the two minutes I give you, that big snake will be released so that it can feed on your juicy flesh. How ironic would that be? Our God Ferdinand could survive the Giant Serpent of Sodom, while the servants of Misery can't even survive a small descendant of it. I hope this teaches you a lesson. The timer starts now."

"We're screwed," said Selina, "How are we supposed to come to the correct combination of those numbers within two minutes and only one try? I can't even call Alfred, because he won't arrive quickly enough to save us! We're doomed!"

This was such a break from the usually calm and reserved Selina I knew that it disconcerted me a little, but then I remembered our perilous situation and returned to reality.

"Don't worry," I said, "I've got this. I was top of my math class at the Amadeus Pontificus Private School for Esteemed Gentlemen."

I took a look at the combination of numbers, my heart racing, my brain thinking. I tried out a few combinations, but none of them worked out, and the clock kept ticking. For every ten seconds that passed, the Mage of Misery declared how much time was left.

Both the Mage of Misery and the crowd were clearly loving this twisted game into which we had been placed. In the background of wherever this was being transmitted from, I could hear the audience being thoroughly engaged with this show. Most were jeering, some were laughing, others were betting on our fate, and some were even cheering for us. At the time, I was very confused by those people who cheered on. The whole thing reminded me of the human sacrifice we had nearly witnessed a few months ago, but turned into a form of sport, separated from the main religion. Allowing the audience, who were used to blood and violence, to enjoy the spectacle of two people fighting for their lives, as if we were back in Ancient Rome and were a part of a gladiator spectacle.

"Hurry up, Bruce!" purred Selina, back to being calm, but eyes alert, watching my every move.

I looked at the numbers again, and remembered something I had learned in my class about codes used during the wars. One of those codes is called the T. Fodeian Code, and it basically involves three rows of six numbers.

The first row consists of two one-digit numbers repeated three times. The second row consists of six consecutive one-digit numbers, or three consecutive two-digit numbers. If the code chooses to deal with one-digit numbers, then they are displayed in the following order: second-highest, highest, third-highest, second-lowest, third-lowest, and then lowest. If the code chooses to instead deal with two-digit numbers, then they are instead displayed as: lowest, highest, and then the middle number. The third row consists of three consecutive, two-digit, prime numbers, arranged from lowest to highest.

I tried out this specific and relatively unknown code that I had only learned about because of my extremely expensive private school, which could afford to teach us more than required. To my utter delight, the numbers arranged themselves perfectly around this code. I took a deep breath, hoping I was correct, and typed in the following numbers:

737373

564231

535961

The padlock unlocked, and my body sagged down in relief. I had done it.

"Interesting that you know about the T. Fodeian code," said Mage of Misery, "I suppose you had an education in a highly esteemed school, which makes me wonder, why aren't you sitting at home, kissing your Tank-Lamborghini and eating your feller bons, instead bringing down the ruin of innocent people? Very fascinating."

I could hear some of the audience in the background booing at the result of the 'game', most likely those who had lost money, but some were also cheering. It gave me a nervous feeling of apprehension. Why would they be cheering for the enemies of their religion being allowed to walk free? I had no idea.

"You are fully free to continue through my forest," said the Mage, "I, unlike you, am an honourable person, and I keep my word. Oh, and a word of warning as an extra bonus prize for winning my little game, something I honestly wasn't expecting, but I suppose you have Misery on your side. Be wary of other dangers on the road you take, and I'll see you in the next trap, for something that'll hopefully be just as fun!"

The Mage of Misery was silent after that. Selina and I were apprehensive about the possibility of other traps waiting for us. Hopefully, I thought, Selina would be experienced enough to avoid said traps. All we could do for the time being was be grateful that we were still alive, slide down the tree that was holding the box, and continue on our journey through the woods, leaving that weird escapade behind us, and hoping that we could avoid another one, and that we would arrive at the mansion unscathed.