Disclaimer: Black Clover is owned by Yūki Tabata, Studio Pierrot, and Shonen Jump.
Saga 28: Forest Part 4
Unknown Forest?, Spade Kingdom?, Morning?
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" cursed Cissonius panicked as he dodged the [Sylvan Slaves]'s groping reaches while using his [Snatch Magic] to disarm the undead horde choked in overgrowth.
"Hey! Use your magic to steal their limbs or something!" Salim cried out as he was about to unleash his [Lightning Magic: The God of Lightning Rising Salim], only for his incantation to be interrupted mid-verse when the centauroid undead's [Drake] half to snap its maw at his robe, snagging it from behind and attempts to drag him away into the thickest part of the horde to maul him.
Cissonius catches this, and while dodging a Thaumaturge-undead's halberd swing, he performs [Steal] onto Salim himself, stealing him away from the undead Wilderbeast's grasp, narrowly getting within his reach's range (5-7 meters).
"Maybe next time, come up with spells that are worth de damn thins' dat ye jab," snarked the cook before performing [Steal] onto a [Sylvan Slave]'s [Lightning Magic]-imbued axe Relic (R-rank) before kicking it back to its original recipient's head, splitting it twain before it explodes.
"Come to think of it, that does bring up a question," Letoile remarked as she used her [Compass Magic]'s needles as her offensive tool to impale the [Sylvan Slaves] closing in around her group. "Why couldn't you use your [Snatch Magic] to save Jericho much sooner?"
"Yeah, given your dexterity...!" grunted the [Platinum Magic] user as he used his [Stardust Knuckles] to bash the undead horde back and block their attacks with his gauntlets. "... I assume that you'd be more confident."
"Wat is dis?! Twenty Questions Hour?!" snarled the [Snatch Magic] user as he dodged another sword swing before delivering a hard roundhouse kick towards [Sylvan Slave]'s head, sending it flying off of its semi-decayed neck. "If so, den not now! Ask later while we're not being assailed on all sides!"
"Fair enough," sighed David as he used his [Gambler's Fallacy] as much as he could, making up for their inconsistent outcome rates through sheer quantity of explosions due to his partner Magic Knight being preoccupied with her own end of her horde. "... Although, our odds are just as great as getting an answer out of you."
With each undead slain, several more came out of the dim shades of the surrounding woods. They all knew that they were surrounded, but the density of the endless horde of the [Sylvan Slaves] made said fact more apparent.
"... Say," spoke Jericho as he blocked an incoming attack before punching a hole through the undead's chest and rusted breastplate, "... usually, isn't there something that's causing them to endlessly spawn?"
"Yeah," confirmed Cissonius as he stole another set of weapons before "giving back"/imbedded them to their owners. "Where it's comin' from, I dunno."
"Then there's our plan," Letoile pointed out as she used her [Compass Magic]'s needles to impale more of the undead. "David, Jericho, Salim, can I trust you three to hold the line?"
"No reason to stop now!" Jericho pointed out.
"Can't believe I'm agreeing with him, but sure," Salim replied surlily before jumping out of a way of a hammer blow. "I'd sooner live to breath the same air as that bastard than end up as fertilizer!"
"You're asking the wrong kind of person, but even I know that we're strapped of options!" David remarked as he desperately threw his dice as magic bombs (of varying quality) at the shambling horde. "I'll do best even if it kills me!"
"Den dat leaves me to act as yer guide on searching de pathway connecting dese buggers to one being?" asked Cissonius, to which the Golden Dawn Magic Knight nodded in confirmation. "... Well, better den stealin' weapons for a livin'."
The three young men then did their utmost to maintain a defensive perimeter as both Letoile linked her [Compass Magic]'s directional searching powers with Cissonius's natural talent of finding leylines for his [Snatch Magic] to traverse through and steal with.
A compass appeared over Letoile's head as the cook's hands touched the earth, sensing the interconnected leylines that are causing the [Sylvan Slaves] to endlessly respawn.
Okay, gonna have te find de main branch connectin' all of dese fekers at once, thought Cissonius as he visualized the undead as being connected to a system of ethereal branches akin to a tree's root branching out in all directions, all of them connecting to a singular line like tree's trunk. Knew it, it's coming from... he then looked at the compass over Letoile's head, pointing southwest, ... yeh, dat direction.
He then tries to cut the line connecting to the horde with his gloves connecting his physical prowess to the immaterial magic, only for the severance line to mend itself instantaneously.
Shite, cuttin' de knot ain't gonna work, cursed the crimson-clad cook. Time for plan B.
"EVERYONE! HEAD SOUTHWEST!" ordered Cissonius as the other three fended off the endless horde of [Sylvan Slaves]. "DE SOURCE OF DESE WALKERS ARE COMIN' FROM DAT DIRECTION!"
"A LITTLE PROBLEM HERE!" Salim cried out as his [Lightning Magic] flashed before being cut off by the centauroid-[Sylvan Slave]. "HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BREAK THROUGH?!"
"Can't believe I'm agreeing with him, but the spoiled fop has a point," Jericho reluctantly agreed as he punched another undead down before flicking a volley of [Glimmer Darts] at the coming horde. "My own ki-enhanced vision and hearing is picking up literally hundreds behind the current wave. We can try pushing through conventionally, but I don't know how that'll turn out!"
Cissonius smirks. "Take em out all at once den?" he pointed out as his head quickly formulates a plan of action. "With de five of us, I think dat's doable."
David wonders for a moment before pounding his fist into his palm in realization. "Oh right! [Super Compound Magic]!"
"WHEN THE FIVE OF US CAN BARELY CAN WORK TOGETHER?!" Salim pointed out as he leapt away from the [Bearbug]-half of the centauroid-[Sylvan Slave]. "CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, BUT THIS KIND OF A UNITED FRONT BARELY COUNTS FOR SHIT!"
"'Nd dat's where yer wrong~!" Cissonius declared in a sing-song tone. "... An amateur thief is de one relyin' too much on 'is tools to do de job for 'im. A real master thief can work with a single strand of hay dat he found at a back of a cart to steal a whole kingdom treasury's worth of gold in a single night."
"... Did he just call all of us basic in the most indirect way possible?" pointed out David, to which everyone else nodded in confirmation as Cissonius then uses his [Snatch Magic] on all of them to steal their conceptual sense of "autonomy" (fancy way of saying "mind control").
He then quickly looks through what he can work with as grinned. "... Yeh, dat'll do."
Cissonius and everyone else (against their now-nonexistent wills) then jumps into the air as the horde closed in on them completely, and midair, the thief then quickly combines the five magics that he had available.
First, he uses Jericho's [Platinum Creation Magic: Stardust Gauntlets] as base. Then he applies the properties of both Letoile's [Compass Magic: Another Atlas]'s conceptual assimilation of "direction" itself, Salim's [Lightning Magic: The God of Lightning Rising Salim]'s (still a mouthful) destructive output (relatively speaking), and David's [Dice Magic: Gambler's Fallacy]'s internal power multiplier to act as its power booster, all of which were held together by Cissonius's [Snatch Magic], stabilized by using the spells' original owners used as counterbalances.
"Now I just need te add de finishin' touch..." reaching into his back pocket, he then pulls out a slip of paper with something written on it as it then disappeared into the light. "... Dat'll do."
Upon reaching the apex of their jump, the five then fall back down towards the horde reaching their hands towards the closed-off sky.
"With de stolen [Patent] I got from a Knight of de Round Table, I'm about te waste sum muthafekas," Cissonius grinned menacingly as a giant metal arm formed over his right wound-back right hand. "[Super Compound Magic: Replica Armament, Airgetlám]!"
The arm then whips out southwest-ward, brushing a pathway towards the direction while clearing out a sizable amount of the shambling horde of the [Sylvan Slaves] in scorched path of pure destruction before they all landed back on solid ground. Upon landing, the four's "autotomy" returns to them, snapping them out of their collective brainwashing in time to witness the scene of carnage for themselves.
"... What the?!" Salim looked around to find the horde scattered around them. "... What just happened-?!"
"SHUT DE FEK UP 'ND RUN!" Cissonius roared out as the scattered horde quickly began regrouping back into their densely-packed masses.
Jericho then snatches Salim off of the ground before riding off on his [Highway Star] chopper bike while Letoile picks up David as the former rides atop of her floating compass like a hoverboard before riding off. Leading the pack was Cissonius, whose fleetfooted pace of his sprint let him traverse through the uneven terrain of the cramped forest.
"Also, before I forget, sorry dat I brainwashed ye guys!" Cissonius apologized as he ran ahead of everyone else. "De margin of error was practically nonexistent! I kinda couldn't afford te take any chances fur our sakes!"
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that and be grateful that we're out of a deadlock!" Jericho replied, with everyone else agreeing. "... Is now a good time to ask you that question?"
"Okay, de damn [Fear Gorta] was moving too erratically, even for me reflexes," confessed the cook/thief. "I saw de thin' and it knew dat I was goin' te steal Jerry-boyo from its grasp, so it aimed itself off-kilter on purpose while it was runnin' to make me [Snatch Magic] aim not exactly at Jerry-boyo 'imself."
"Wait, what part was it aiming me towards your magic?" asked Jericho.
"Yer vital organs, specifically yer 'eart, lungs, trachea, 'nd brain," Cissonius recalled the faint tells of the bush monster deliberately aiming itself and its spindly body towards Jericho's vitals, making sure that his rescue attempts turned into an accidental murder. "Me [Snatch Magic] relies on me reflexes to make it work, and the damn [Fear Gorta]'s movements 'ave zero consistency in-between phases while keepin' it semi-consistent of tryin' to have me te kill ye. And last I checked, people need all of der organs to live."
"So you needed my help locking it down," Letoile confirmed as she flew above the group with David hanging on from behind.
"Also, I can only steal one thin' at a time within the boundary of .44 second-long interval while de [Fear Gorta] was moving at .024 seconds per frame, meanin' dat it's moving faster den I can steal from it," answered the cook/thief. "I could've stolen its 'movement' entirely, but that would also stop Jericho's heart in the process due to their nerves being connected. Simply put, it knew wat I was gonna do, so it exploited me own prowess and limited me options to just taking Jerry-boyo. 'Nd by 'takin,' it meant 'any one part' when I wanted to take all of 'im."
David then recalled the [Fear Gorta] running away from them rather then actively fight them after taking Jericho. "... So if it move and run faster than you, then what was its purpose?"
"I know jack shite," Cissonius replied bitterly, even having difficulties of trying to figure out the hypotheticals of the purpose behind the sparsely-known [Fear Gorta]. "... Dis place is startin' to git on me nerves."
"SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!" Salim cried out as the horde came closing in on them from behind. "THIS WHOLE PLACE MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL!"
David nervously chuckles before looking back forwards. "... So uh, up ahead is the guy bringing the dead back to life, right?"
"Yep," Cissonius nods as his eyes kept on the long leyline running down towards their path. "Just a bit more..."
As he kept running, the thief then saw the leyline branch out into several offshoots. However, the main branch was still consistent, connecting the offshoots to others, as if the lesser beings were defending something that was powering them. The group of five then arrive at a clearing, occupied with others consisting of two Inquisitors (one of them being hung around the neck from above), a wild-looking man with a crimson shaft covered in every inch with blades and thorns that made it impossible to wield without one mutilating their hands, a mousey-looking girl with banded-back sky-blue hair wielding magic that felt borderline eldritch, and at the center was a hulking FAMAS lounged upon a throne of roots, being defended by a formation of [Sylvan Slaves] wearing thick armor of that of the Thaumaturges.
"... More of them?" Salim's eyelid twitched. "ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!"
"Silver lining, we're not alone anymore-OH SHIT! SOMEONE'S BEING GARROTED!" David panicked mid-verse as he pointed at the Vice-Inquisitor being hung slowly.
"HANG ON!" Cissonius cried out as he tried to snatch the man from his noose with his [Snatch Magic], only for the assimilated FAMAS to uproot a cluster of [Mandrakes] by their head-sprouts from the ground next to where it laid before throwing the screaming charges at the thief.
In the middle of activating his [Snatch Magic], Cissonius, in an attempt to rescue Makarov, instead ends up snatching a very upset [Mandrake] right before it and its flung others exploded into a spread of explosions that devoured the entire area along with the nearby [Sylvan Slaves] around them.
"Arrogant mortal," scoffed the [Leshy] as it continued to choke the life out of Makarov all the while using its assimilated [Dream Magic] to kill the Vice-Inquisitor's very soul. "Such death befitting that of a mere thief-"
The forgotten God, through Dorothy's eyes and the Shadow Gear's internal LED screen, saw faint silhouettes spotted within the smoke, indicating their survival. Displeased, it signals the other undead to swarm at the survivors, only for a crimson streak to whip past the horde's necks and towards Makarov's noose, cutting them all down as the Vice-Inquisitor landed back on the ground, gasping for air.
"... And you couldn't have done that sooner?!" he remarked as he went and retrieved his [Chernobog] scythe Relic as the others revealed themselves to survive the explosion.
"Sorry, was havin' too much fun te notice til I got bored," apologized Cu Chulainn, the unwieldy-looking and writhing [Gae Bolg] returning to his grasp, the thorns not even drawing blood around his palms gripped around the shaft. "Also, yer fine, aren't ye? I mean, ye got a thick neck 'nd all dat."
"HOW?!" the [Leshy] roared out it fury.
Mudo heaves out a relieved sigh. "... I'm just glad that my [Dark Curse Magic: Obsolesce] worked on killing a third of those [Mandrakes] before they exploded. Too close for comfort though."
"Oh, company," sighed Bizon as he placed his [Labrys] over his shoulder. "... Saves us the trouble of having to send out a search party."
"Sup," greeted David as he looked around their familiar-feeling surroundings. "... Knee-deep in some shit?"
"Every Tuesday here," Makarov remarked. "... That said, nice adaptation. Quick on the draw."
"It was thanks to Cissonius informing us how his magic works prior that I was able to create a contingency plan to alleviate it," spoke Letoile, pointing up towards [Another Atlas] hovering over them, its needle spinning about like a top. "... Although he'd neglected to tell us that his magic can't be canceled upon immediate activation, which thankfully prevented the worst-case scenario from occurring by my hoverboard be said spell mid-charge."
"Wait, ye guys can recall yer spells mid-castin'?!" Cissonius remarked.
"Uh, yeah. It's basic magic 101," Salim cattily pointed out. "... Seriously, are all you Ulsterians a bunch of magic-high meatheads who don't even know that basic of an application?"
"To be fair, we literally had no incentive to apply said method IRL..." snarked David, taking a faint jab at the worst of nobles being trigger-happy when properly upset. "... So agree to disagree-?"
"LOOK OUT!" Jericho then tackled the [Dice Magic] user out of the way of a noose behind him, only for the [Platinum Magic] user to take his place as he was then suspended up to the air, his windpipe slowly being crushed around itself.
"Actually, I care not," commented the [Leshy] as its throne then unleashed a swarm of rootlike-tendrils to assail the others. "I shall feed your very flesh and souls to my children!"
"BREAK!" ordered Cissonius as everyone fled from the groping tap roots coming from the forgotten God's throne. He then looked towards where Jericho was hung from, spotting that his very soul was slowly leaving his body with each non-refundable heave that he took.
"You can see it too?" asked Makarov as he and Bizon cut through the crawling tendrils with the help of others. "... There's a person inside the FAMAS. Can you get her out?"
"Can, but I'll need help," Cissonius then looked back towards the others. "Improvise?"
"What choice is there left?" the Vice-Inquisitor then grabbed onto the noose that was about to strangle him from behind before using it to pull himself up towards Jericho's level before whipping out his scythe.
Just as the Relic cut Jericho free, another tendril knocks the weapon out of Makarov's hands and into the hands of the controlled FAMAS. "Not anymore, you're not!" its voice boomed from within as its severed tap root then regrew itself before it then wrapped itself around the Vice-Inquisitor's neck. "YOUR SOUL IS NOW MINE!"
Makarov then glared at the mech housing the desperate God. "... My soul... belongs to no one... but MYSELF AND SEPHIRA'S GRACE!"
"DO NOT SPEAK OF THAT WHORE'S NAME!" the [Leshy] snarled as the root choking Makarov began tightening around his trachea. "A MERE MORTAL ASCENDING TO GODHOOD?! BLASPHEMY! DIE A THOUSANDFOLD DEATHS AND MORE!"
"... She offers mercy and salvation... while you only demand subservience..." the Vice-Inquisitor growled defiantly as he began foaming from his slow strangulation and his soul being forcibly extracted from his body. "... YOUR AGE... WAS OVER LONG AGO! SO GO... BACK TO SLEEP!"
"No," the [Leshy] then successfully extracts Makarov's soul from his body as soon as his body stopped breathing. "You sleep."
"NO!" roared Bizon as he began relapsing back to his rage tempered prior, unleashing the full brunt of it, consequences be damned as he leapt into the air with his [Labrys] raised over his head. "YOU'RE DEAD, YOU HAS-BEEN GOD!"
The FAMAS then gets up from its throne of roots before clashing its fist against the enraged Inquisitor's [Gravity Magic]-enhanced axe blow, coming to a deadlock before the former then shoves its fist through the latter's force, slugging him across the clearing and burrowing into one of the tree trunks surrounding the place.
"Who's dead now, you greenhorn?" the [Leshy] smirked through Dorothy's face as it then reveled in its new power gained from the stolen soul. "... So, this is how you mortals have grown without proper piety... disgusting, but a grim necessity to regain my prior glory."
"Oh crap oh crap oh crap!" David panicked as he threw his [Gambler's Fallacy] around himself to retake more space invaded by the [Sylvan Slaves] swarming in towards them. "We're down a person!"
"Everyone, watch your surroundings-!" Letoile then suddenly finds herself yanked off the ground as the next tap root strung itself around her neck and began choking the very life out of her.
"Out of everyone here, you're easily the most problematic," declared the [Leshy] as its FAMAS then brandished the [Chernobog] that it had stolen from the Vice-Inquisitor. "I'll do you the kindness of killing you right now-!"
Cu Chulainn then throws his [Gae Bolg] through the Shadow Gear's hand and knocking the black Relic out of its grasp, rendering it immobile as its blades jutted out through the arm's chassis. With it stunned, he then comes towards where the Golden Dawn was hanging from before cutting her down after snapping off a knife blade from his thrown spear and cutting it through the root.
"... Thanks," Letoile coughed out.
"Think nuthin' of it," the wild man replied with a smirk. "... Oi Cisso! Dis part of yer plan?!"
The crimson-clad thief smirked as he noticed the now-dropped [Chernobog] glowing in a dark violet aura. "Yeh," he nodded. "Just in time too."
The scythe then floated off the ground before spinning itself around like a pinwheel as it then cut off the FAMAS's immobilized arm off of its shoulder socket. The Relic's black blade then emits a further menacing aura as it proceeds to form a shade-like silhouette vaguely resembling Makarov himself, now wielding his Relic in his body's place.
"... What are you think you're doing, Bizon?" spoke the shadow. "This is no time for a nap."
From the tree trunk's bored-in hole came out a roar before it then burst out Bizon himself, now covered head to toe in wounds and splinters. "Apologizes sir," he spoke in a semi-strained voice before cutting down several incoming of the shambling horde with a [Gravity Magic]-enhanced open-hand horizontal chop. "... It appears that I'm not in full control over my own rage just yet."
Letoile then looked at Cissonius incredulously. "... You didn't tell us that this was going to happen?!"
"Well if I said it out loud in front of de big bad boss, den he would've heard it and picked apart our plans in a second," defended the cook as he snatched Dorothy's pointed hat from within the Shadow Gear's cockpit before putting it on himself. "... Also, ye didn't ask."
"I get the feeling that the latter sentiment is a reoccurring problem with Ulster as a whole!" remarked Jericho as he pulled his fist out of a slain [Sylvan Slave]'s face before punching down another. "Not everyone is inclined to ask questions that makes their sanity come into question!"
"It's the Spade Kingdom, we all go a little mad around here," remarked Mudo as she stabbed a botanical undead in its forehead before shoving away another and allowing Salim to get a free shot at it with his ridiculously-long named spell. "Although I'm genuinely impressed. The famed Vice-Inquisitor's [Aura Magic] applying attributes of the school of [Necromancy] and the esoteric applications of [Soul Magic] itself?! The amount mastery demonstrated is unprecedented!"
The [Leshy] was too flabbergasted to even move before coming back to its senses. "No matter!" it declared. "Just because your soul is now autonomous from your physical body doesn't mean that anything has changed-!"
The [Leshy] then screams in agony as through Dorothy's body, its chest felt like it was set ablaze from within.
"Who said that this was my entire soul?" spoke the shadow as it pointed towards its physical body, still left hanging like a corpse. "... After all, [Chernobog] merely houses the 'Darkness' within my own soul! My other Relic, [Belobog, the Radiant] houses my inner light of my own soul! Combined with my mastery of [Aura Magic], not only I can influence another person's soul as if it were their physical bodies, I'm also able to self-modify my own, allowing me to divide it into two independent halves with no drawbacks!"
The hung body of Makarov then began glowing from its chest as it then reached out towards the Shadow Gear, revealing a chain of light connecting its hand into Dorothy's chest. The God that took Dorothy's mind, body, and soul hostage then tried to sever the chain connected to Dorothy from within, only for it to not be cut at all.
"Hey... look!" Salim pointed out as he and the others saw the [Sylvan Slaves] beginning to spasm and jitter as if their strings holding them up were being cut one by one.
"They're relenting!" Jericho remarked. "EVERYONE! PUSH FOR THE OFFENSIVE! WE'RE NEARING THE END OF THIS BATTLE!"
"Le... Le-I'm calling ye Toil-lass. TOIL-LASS!" Cissonius cried out for the [Compass Magic] user. "I'M GONNA NEED YER HELP!"
"Go," Mudo persuaded her as she drew her ramshackle knife. "He trusts you, so I'll play my part."
"RANDOM BULLSHIT GO!" David, with further reckless abandon, tossed several of his [Gambler's Fallacy] die at the shambling horde, taking them out with explosion of random varieties. "I CAN'T USE MY SPECIALIZED DICES WITHOUT HAVING YOU TO RIG THEM IN OUR FAVOR! DO WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT AND I'LL DO WHAT I'M BEST AT! SO GO!"
Bizon nods as he then uses his [Gravity Magic] to pile the undead into a mound before compressing them into a slowly-shrinking ball of crushed corpses. "... Put that so-called God to rest, Vice Inquisitor. I'll do my job right."
In agreement, Cissonius, Cu Chulainn, Letoiile, and Makarov's very own soul all charged towards the now-panicking [Leshy] within Dorothy's soul.
"WHY?! AND HOW?!" roared the forgotten God as it then whipped around its fists of both the FAMAS and the root-make towards the four. "HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO DEFY ME?! A GOD COMPARED TO YOU MORTALS?!"
"Can ye really call yourself a God when yer usin' one of de mortals as a bridge?" snarked Cissonius as he dodged the flurry of incoming blows while Cu Chulainn tore through the bramble of fists whereas Letoile used her [Compass Magic] to force all of the blows to miss. "... Stop lookin' down on us when yer like dat. It's unsightly."
[Leshy] then notices the chain of light connecting its host to Makarov's physical body. "... You," he snarled as it then activated the FAMAS's internal weapon systems and aimed them all towards the body. "I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A BODY TO RETURN TO!"
The internal magic vulcans then fired towards the body, with Cissonius stealing all of the snots fired towards the body in rapid succession before stealing the weapon system itself from within the mech. "Oi Macky-boyo. Ye mind wrapping up?"
From the body then emerged a shining version of Makarov's shadow, holding onto the shining chain keeping Dorothy's soul leashed to it. "... Let her go now."
"NEVER!" the [Leshy] then lunges towards the body itself, only for both Cu and Makarov's shadow to push against its charge.
"So wat's de plan 'ere?" asked the wild man.
"Keep it distracted," said the shadow Makarov as the shade pushed [Chernobog] against the chassis. "We need to free Dorothy from one lock at a time. Her soul, mind, and body, in that specific order."
"Dere's somethin' that must be planted inside 'er 'ead dat's allowing de God to use de witch as a meat puppet!" Cissonius pointed out as he dodged another root fist shot towards him from the God's throne. "I'll remove de body! Ye find wat's wormin' inside of 'er and pull it out! We're gonna have to pull both of it out at the same time!"
"... What exactly?" she made sure to ask this time to save herself the ambiguity.
"WAT'S MOVIN INSIDE OF 'ER THAT'S NOT 'ER'S?!" the cook remarked as he used his [Snatch Magic] to spirit Letoiile away from a sharp spire of wood shot up from where she stood prior. "Ye control direction itself, right? Den make gud on dat claim!"
Now knowing what to do, she then wills herself a compass connected towards Dorothy's body from within as the needle began to adjust itself to differentiate the movements from her organs, muscle spasms, and foreign bodies intruding her internals.
"CU! FEND DAT TINBOY OFF WITH DE SLIM SHADY!" Cissonius cried out as he then locked onto where the body was located at. "LIGHT-BOYO! PULL DE SOUL OUT, NOW!"
The light-self of the Vice-Inquisitor then yanks the chain connecting Dorothy soul to excise it from the [Leshy]'s control, causing its influence over Dorothy as a whole to weaken severely. "One minute before the soul is assimilated from the effect of [Ambient Haunt]," the light declared as it held the witch's soul. "Make it quick. I can't protect her forever from the forest's curse."
Cissonius smirks as he saw Cu Chulainn pin the FAMAS down with several briars and thorns clogging up the Shadow Gear's movement. "Dat's more den enough."
"I FOUND IT!" Letoile cried out as her compass got a hit on where the foreign body was located. "A THIN VINE'S RUNNING DOWN THROUGH HER LEFT EARHOLE AND LATCHING ITSELF ONTO WHERE HER HIPPOCAMPUS IS AT!"
"So it's in her brain?!" Jericho cried out as he held the line to prevent the [Sylvan Slaves] from overrunning the operations happening behind him and his detachment.
"YOU'LL NEVER PULL IT OUT LEST YOU DESTROY IT!" boasted the [Leshy]. "YOU'VE ALREADY LOST THE MOMENT I TOOK HER OVER, MORTALS!"
"DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!" Letoile then manifests several more compasses to act as a guiding path to extract the vine out of Dorothy's brain and out of her ear. "I AM DIRECTION ITSELF! WHEN I SAY 'MOVE'... YOU MOVE!"
The rigged compass needles then lock into certain directions acting as a pathway for not only the way for the vine to slide itself out of Captain Dorothy's earhole, but also to move the root-like fingers gripping onto the hippocampus off of it.
"No... PLEASE!" the God begged as the proverbial check was called. "ANYTHING BUT THAT!"
Letoile pays the God's words no heed as she then triggers the set vectors from her [Compass Magic] to surgically remove the clawed vine out of the Coral Peacock Captain's brain, starting from moving its claws off of the hippocampus before pulling the vine itself out through her earhole.
The suctioned vine desperately tried to worm back into the witch's brain, but God or not, no one could fight against direction itself.
"... IT'S OUT!" Letoile called out.
"Gud," Cissonius then walked up to the FAMAS before swiping his hand across the mech's chassis. "[Snatch Magic: Steal]."
Dorothy then appears into the cook's arms as the light of Makarov then imbues the witch's own soul back into her now-freed body. Seeing the chance, Cu then leaps on top of the Shadow Gear's chest before prying open the cockpit with his bare hands. Upon exposure, the vine taking control of Dorothy prior then lashed out towards Cu to take him over, only for the wild man to catch the vine between his teeth as it is left wiggling between the man's chompers.
"Sorry, but I dun't eat junk food," smirked the hound. "NOW!"
Both the light and shadow halves of Makarov then sped towards where the [Leshy] was trapped at with their.
"As long as the forest stands..." the wormlike God hissed defiantly as Cu bit into its verdant flesh, "... I WILL NEVER EVER DIE! MAY YOUR SOULS FOREVER WANDER THESE WEALDS FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY! YOU WILL ALL DIE HERE! WITH YOUR BODIES ROTTEN AND DECAYED INTO SOIL!"
"Take that up to your true master," spoke the shadow as it raised [Chernobog].
"For we will not die until our work is done," said the light as it then pulls out a sword of pure light with its pommel connected to a chain from its chest. "[Aura Necromancy Magic]!"
The chains of light then wrap themselves around Cu Chulainn and the [Leshy], keeping the two of them bound as the two halves commence their final blow.
"Bondage play, eh?" chuckled the hound-like man in anticipation, treating the flailing vine God akin to a gag. "... By all means, make it hurt."
The two halves of Makarov's soul cross their weapons together as the chains wrapped around the two began emitting dark crackles of electricity as a monochromatic glyph appears beneath Cu's very feet.
"[Banishing Curse-Twilight]!"
The intertwining of light and dark then erupted into a pillar of swirling black and white flames that left nary an ash of the desperate [Leshy] from within its fiery embrace. With its death, the [Sylvan Slaves] felled from where they've each all stood, no longer puppets dancing to the will of their master's whims.
Cu then simply walks out of the flames after spitting the residual ashes of the vine that was in his mouth into the pyre, rolling his shoulders and patting the soot off of his pants. "... Welp, I'm 'ard as a rock," he chuckled. "Mudo-lass! Just say de word!"
"How are you not even burnt-you know what, I'm not gonna bother asking," sighed David as he fell back onto his butt in exhaustion. "... Gonna save myself the further headache."
The light and shadow halves of Makarov's soul return to his still-hung body, causing the body to suddenly gasp back into life before taking the tap root still constricted around his neck and ripping it off around himself.
"... Are all Spade Kingdom natives known for their resilience?" asked Letoile, now trying to keep the question simple as possible.
"We wouldn't be 'ere now if it weren't de case," Cissonius shrugged before looking at Jericho. "Oi, ye alright dere?"
"... Uh, yeah," he nodded as he instinctively rubbed his neck, now slightly bruised from his near-lynching. "... I think I can go on living without being hanged ever again."
Dorothy then groans as she slowly wakes up, groggily sitting up to be introduced by the others. "... Oh," she remarked before yawning. "... Good morning everyone. Where are we? And why is my left ear feeling rather wet?"
"Pardon?" Mudo replied before running over towards the witch's left side, only to find that her left ear was now dripping a leakage of her own brain fluids. "OH SHIT! THE BREACH WASN'T HEALED!"
Bizon then rips off a chunk of leather from his belt strap before using his [Gravity Magic] to compress it into a crudely-shaped sphere. He then undoes a length of thread from the tear of his pants and ties the length around the ball before shoving the whole thing into Dorothy's ear to stop the leaking. "There," he remarked. "That's should hold for about a few hours."
"Huh?" Dorothy remarked in surprise. "What was that for?!"
"... Dorothy-lass, yer brain literally got feked by a vine and ye tried to murder us all in yer sleep," Cu Chulainn remarked before pointing towards the now-wrecked FAMAS. "It's not yer fault... but maybe next time, watch yer arse, kay?"
"Oh my, how troubling," the Coral Peacock remarked before looking towards her fellow Magic Knights. "... Is that why the rest of you look so haggard?"
"I was apparently on the same boat as you prior," Jericho pointed out. "Only I was being siphoned of my own bodily nutrients by a walking bush monster."
"I still resent him for said incident!" Salim remarked.
"I was practically useless this whole past hour or so," David remarked. "... Seriously, my [Dice Magic] is going to be the death of all us if I don't have Letoile rigging the odds in our favor."
"It can't be helped, but credit where credit is due, you were doing well without my help," addressed the [Compass Magic] user. "I for one, can live without having to do brain surgery for the remainder life ever again."
"I advise against that," Mudo remarked. "That kind of skill is essential to surviving the wilds of the Spade Kingdom, this place probably included."
"Wait, so does that mean all of you know how to do brain surgery?" Salim asked the Spade Kingdom residents.
"Oi, ye give me lip on wat's basic, then dun't judge," Cissonius snapped. "... But yeh, universal triage is mandatory unless ye want te die a horrible and painful death, unless its from fitin' someone stronger dan ye. At least dat way, dere's sumthin' left of ye to salvage."
"Speaking of..." Bizon raised his hand before falling onto one of his knees in exhaustion, "... may I request that we all break camp here? If we go on the way we are right now, then we're surely likely to die."
Everyone else then looked at each other before coming to a unanimous agreement.
"Alright, we'll set up camp," Makarov spoke. "Perhaps a bonfire might signal the others that we're still alive. It's a course of action worth risking more enemies for."
"I'll find us sum grub," Cu remarked as he placed his [Gae Bolg] over his shoulder.
"I'll help," Cissonius raised his hand before following him. "Rest of ye, get yerselves situated and lick yer wounds in de meantime, kay?"
As the two set off to forage, Makarov began digging a pit in the middle of the clearing before dumping the motionless undead choked with overgrowth into the hole and flicking a lit match into it to light a bonfire with the corpses.
"... It'll have to do," the Vice-Inquisitor lowered his head in regret as he quietly began reciting a prayer for his fallen men while the others huddled around the blaze.
Dorothy then looked at her fellow Magic Knights, all of whom were adopting varying expressions of grimness akin to war-battered soldiers. "... So uh, how did we get here? I kinda recall being inside the pig tavern."
"Don't look at us," Salim remarked, with no one commenting on his unintended rudeness (due to exhaustion from both sides). "We're just as clueless as everyone else here."
Elsewhere in the Endless Woods...
The idea of setting up camp for the other group wasn't lost to them. Maybe it was instinct, maybe it was fatigue, or perhaps maybe it was the forest's constant dimness that made them all yearn to see any form of light that wasn't coming from their own attacks or that of the enemy's.
Either way, it didn't change the fact that Corrin, Ogmios, Brigid, Zenon, Vanica, Rinaldo, Roland, Aengus, Moccus, and Patry/"Captain Licht" were now huddled around a modestly-sized campfire, their sole light in the infinite dimness that surrounded them on all sides.
While the light may provide some solace, there felt a creeping feeling that all the light did was simply point out how utterly alone and cut-off from the outside world that they were familiar with. If a word could be used to describe the current atmosphere, it would be "alien."
Everyone who were classified as "remotely sane" prior (read: not from the Spade Kingdom) were now slowly edging towards their mental breaking point.
"... Don't stare," snapped Ogmios as he tried to bring Corrin's attention back to the fire. "... There's nothing out there.
"... Can't help it man," she shook her head. "... Where are the others?"
"... I'm sure that they're doing well for themselves," Patry/"Captain Licht" reassured while internally wrestling with the paradox that he's placed in. "... They're strong, so believe in them as they do with their strength."
"What did you got that from? A self-help book?" snarked Vanica.
"Wait, you read?" Zenon remarked in surprise.
"Thanks for saving me the trouble of giving her a round of tongue-lashing, you Zogratis filth," snarked Roland as he spat out a peach pit into the fire.
"Guys, please stop bullying the children," Aengus remarked as she cuddled Vanica, the latter now going into a semi-seizure episode within her embrace. "We're all grumpy from being stuck here for too long..."
"Understatement of the century..." Rinaldo rolled his eyes.
"... But! I think as long as we stick together and help each other out, not only we'll find the others without a problem, but we'll be able to escape this place!" she jubilantly cheered. "We just have to believe!"
"Shut the fuck up..." Corrin hissed out a seething sigh as her head throbbed like if it was about to explode or implode.
Everyone goes quiet as they all stared at the fire they sat around.
The flame continues to crackle as everyone tried to retreat to their thoughts to preserve their sanities being leeched away by this forest's maddening quiet. At least, they tried to, but it felt if as their minds were being overridden by said forest's ambiance.
No happy thoughts (sans Aengus, who can only be described as "perpetual positivity," as can it be attested by Vanica's currently-despondent state of mind akin to a sugar coma) existed. No nightmares to draw from their surroundings to even alleviate the horrors that they were trapped in.
They felt like pieces of food, chewed up and swallowed, waiting to be dissolved in the beast's belly and into nothingness.
Eventually, the feeling became too much to bear, with Corrin belting out a madden scream as she then grabbed a piece of burning wood from the pyre and began swinging at towards the others.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Ogmios remarked as everyone else moved back.
"GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" the [Magnet Magic] user screamed as she bashed the burning wood against one of the trees in an attempt to burn it and the whole forest down, only for said wood being bashed to snap in half and the flames lit on the broken end petering out shortly after.
Ogmios and Brigid then share a look with each other before playing a game of rock-paper-scissors, with Brigid coming out as the winner. "Captain Licht? Do you mind if we do something about..." the spirit pointed towards Corrin now bashing her head against the large tree's burn spot, "this?"
"Don't kill her, please," sighed the elven boy, wondering if him playing the role as "Captain Licht" in place of [CENSORED] was the only thing that was keeping him grounded to reality.
"I won't," Ogmios then picks up the other half of the broken tinder before bashing Corrin's head in with it from behind, knocking her down into a curled up ball. "... Had enough?"
Corrin then breaks down sobbing, presumably from the mounted stress rather than the fact that her head was bleeding profusely.
"They're there, let it out," Brigid soothed the troubled lass. "... Tell us everything. No matter what, at least I won't hold it against you. The rest... may vary."
Corrin sniffles. "... You suck at reassuring people, you know that?"
"An Ulsterian would be caught dead before they're caught crying," Ogmios remarked. "... No seriously, they're likely to die when they cry, given that it's an open plain with little to no cover to hide in."
"What is wrong with you people?!" Corrin pointed out. "No like, seriously, are your brains broken or something?!"
Rinaldo raised an eyebrow from a fellow statement. "Elaborate," he spoke. "I'll hold off from assuming anything, ex-Clover Kingdom speaking to a Clover Kingdom."
"You guys treat all of this like some sort of game, a typical day of work, when in reality, the situation is beyond dire!" Corrin pointed out. "We have no idea where we are exactly, no clue where the others are, and unsure of how this place even works! Are you guys not even remotely freaking out of how... wrong this place is?!"
"Well, yeah, it's weird, but really, it's par for course," Ogmios pointed out. "... You never been into a Dungeon before?"
"I did, once, and even that place had clearly-established rules of how a Dungeon should be!" she pointed out. "It's a tomb or a hidden area guarding a treasure at the center. Where at the very least, the place was navigable with a variance of traps and hazards! But this place is not like a Dungeon! It's literally a deathtrap disguised as a Dungeon!"
Roland then elbows Rinaldo's shoulder. "... Remind Ruggerio to not go to Clover Kingdom," he whispered. "He's a well-established Dungeon-nut, so softballing him like this is gonna piss him off."
"Yeah," nodded the other Paladin, "he loves the danger and the thrill more than the prize waiting at the end. It's practically a sexual fetish to him."
"Well excuse me for being a guppy in a middle of a sea of sharks!" Corrin pointed out. "... You guys, disturb me to no end, but I can't afford to be without you guys unless I want to end up dead and forgotten! And that frustrates me to no end every second I have to deal with you guys!"
Patry/"Captain Licht" then looks at the panicking former Magic Knight. "... Understandable," he spoke. "I appreciate your effort to maintain a degree of pragmatism."
After letting it go for a brief moment, Corrin lets out a huge sigh before continuing to speak. "... I have to ask you guys," she began, "... how do you all deal with this?"
At the Other Group's Clearing...
"Well, fur one thin', dis kind of shite is practically de only thin' dat we know," Cu pointed out. "Danger everywhere, no place to rest or hide, food literally tryin' te make ye into their food... dat's wat's normal 'round 'ere."
"How thrilling!" Dorothy remarked in fascination while everyone else from the Clover Kingdom cringed. "So every day is a fight for survival! Have to say, there's never a dull moment around here!"
"It does make traveling between from Avalon to wherever else we wish to head towards rather tedious," Makarov explained. "If anything, the absence of bandit attacks on our way back to our respective places is quite disturbing. Care to explain why?"
"Mite be dis place," Cu pointed at the smoldering corpses making up their tinder. "... Correct me if I'm wrong, but methinks dat de forest was a thin' way before the shite back at Libratium was resolved. Me boys must've missed it on our way te de commotion."
"Which begs the question," Jericho raised his hand, "what is the average population of Ulster as a whole?"
Bizon scoff. "A census is impossible here. Not when they're constantly trying to bash your faces in for the hell of it."
"So pretty low then," David remarked.
"No, it's not like the way you assume," Mudo pointed out, "... Ulsterian population goes through so many busts and booms in an infrequent basis that finding a constant number of how many of them they are is inaccurate at best, nigh-impossible at worst. There are a few factors that contribute to said... inconsistencies, whether its the constant killing sprees that they inflict upon each other, or their hyper-accelerated gestation cycles..."
"Wait wait wait, what did you say about the average Ulsterians' gestation cycles?" Letoile asked. "... Are you inferring that they have an above-average fertility rate?"
"Nah, much more dan dat," Cu smirked. "For example, me ma was a doggo."
Salim spits his coconut water aside upon hearing that. "... I'm sorry, WHAT?!"
Cu chuckles before explaining. "... Ye see, in Ulster, bestiality is a common occurrence. If it has a hole, den it's allowed. I mean, why de ye think that de Animals are recognized as their own tribe despite being composed of 100% Wilderbeasts and Elderbeasts? Me mum was a [Garou] wolf-woman, and dese tattoos are de gifts from 'er side of the family right before me da's side and der side skinned each other alive and went on a slight killing spree after one too many drinks. We're still gud friends, and it's not like I'm de only kid from me mum."
The Clover Kingdom's Magic Knights (even Dorothy) were rightfully disturbed at the sight of Cu treating what was literally a filial blood feud akin to someone embarrassing themselves at a family gathering's picnic.
"... Wat?" he noticed the Clover Kingdom natives going pie-eyed. "... Dun't yer families murder each other for de hell of it?"
"At least not out in the open!" Salim pointed out. "We prefer victimless crimes, like embezzling or racketeering!"
"I mean, I killed another Noble kid by accident!" Jericho remarked before shutting his mouth.
"Wait, you killed a Noble?" asked Letoile.
"IN SELF-DEFENSE!" the [Platinum Magic] user replied. "ALSO, I WAS A KID BACK THEN! I DIDN'T KNOW MY FULL STRENGTH UNTIL LIKE A MONTH AGO!"
"... Wow," Dorothy remarked. "... I didn't exactly fall into said nobility's more darker trappings myself, but holy crap dude. I'm both impressed and disturbed."
"And the other nobles give me shit for me being a gambling addict..." sighed David before he looked towards the two Inquisitors and Mudo. "... You guys are kinda okay with this, aren't you?"
"We kill rogue Demons and their close associates," Makarov pointed out. "Otherwise, their shit is their's to deal with."
"Eh, I'm tepid," Mudo remarked. "I mean, after lynching my fifth Zogratis bastard myself and coming back from the dead several times testing the MASS system, I kinda just tuned out my internal disgust of viscera and gore."
"Well, it ain't a problem 'ere, since for every person dat shites de bed, about a thousand more each are popped out, ready to kill on demand," Cu pointed out. "So really, everythin' balances out with death and fekin' being everywhere."
"That's seem logistically impossible," Jericho pointed out.
"Well it worked, didn't it?" Cu replied. "'Nd de next thin' dat yer gunna say is dat ye don't eat yer kills."
"... Oh yeah," David nervously chuckled. "... We ate Full-Gore after Jericho killed him in a deathmatch to gain Ulster's alliance." He continued to chuckle until it peters out. "... Oh fuck, I keep forgetting that we ate a possibly-sentient being in a soup."
"So bestiality and cannibalism is the norm?" Letoile asked. "... I might or might not be in denial, but I'm only asking to confirm if that is the case with everyone from the Spade Kingdom."
"I mean, Avalon's borders, corpses are burnt to prevent them from housing a Demon, and the ones that usually are processed into edible biomass do sign consent form prior..." Bizon revealed. "... Look, Avalon's cold as balls and trade with neighboring sovereignties is nigh-impossible due to the perpetual winter and Ulster being Ulster!"
"I think part of [Camelot Mk.I]'s development was to alleviate the issues of traveling on land while carrying precious cargo, but that still leaves the [Wyverns]..." Makarov groaned in consternation.
"And I think a few [Chimeras] sold on the meat market back at Libratium might or might not being partially composed of human matter," Mudo pointed out. "Then again, they're [Chimeras], so I don't they count as humans, or for lack of a better term, any discernible creature anymore."
"... So it's not like you guys are willing to put any human on the table, but aren't against the idea," Jericho clarified. "... And what are the criteria of being open to consumption?"
"Well, fur one, ye know dat eatin' people allows ye to inherit der residual mana into yerself, rite?" Cu pointed out.
"I thought that was metaphorical!" Jericho pointed out.
"Well, it might be the reason why Jericho didn't die instantly when he was taken by the [Fear Gorta]..." Cissonius hypothesized. "... Full-Gore's flesh saved yer arse."
Back to the First Group...
"So wait, eating people somehow is beneficial here?!" Corrin remarked. "I thought you guys only performed cannibalism out of desperation!"
"Well, stockpiling as much mana as we could into our bodies is a measure of desperation," Ogmios pointed out. "And the fact that the Wilderbeasts were doing it first meant that they were doing something right, so everyone else just followed."
"Wow, if that were the case, then I would've taken a bite myself," Vanica commented.
"Wait, doesn't cannibalism inflict a disease to its practitioner?" asked Patry/"Captain Licht". "... I think it's called 'kuru'?"
"It is, but Ulsterians weened off the neurodegenerative disease due to generations of cross-breeding with hardier Wilderbeast species and generational adaptation," Brigid explained. "... As for the outsiders coming in, brain surgery is required unless they wish to die of tumors."
Ogmios then parted his hair to reveal several scars underneath the sea of bright magenta. "I had eleven brain tumors removed," he revealed to the others. "This is why I kinda owe Brigid for saving my ass."
"So wait," Corrin remarked upon remembering that she ate Full-Gore the [Asterios]. "... Does that mean I have tumors in my brain now?"
"Surgery will be performed as soon as we get out or when you start having spasms," Brigid reassured as Corrin tried to freak out, only to realize that she was too burned out to care anymore. "... No one said additional power was without cost. I mean, given your kingdom's overall weakness in powers, I suppose them suffering from Overgauge is a small price to pay for a greater good."
Both Corrin and Patry/"Captain Licht" looked as if they've swallowed a crate full of lemons each. "... Did you just infer that you fed Clover Kingdom's people human flesh without their knowledge?!"
"Oh come on, nobody asks how the sausages are made," Ogmios scoffed.
"That's true," nodded Vanica. "... Kinda weird that no one asks that kinds of questions."
"I think part of it is that they're afraid of coming off as lunatics and partial knowledge that they'll get a non-answer," Zenon pointed out.
"Wait, you guys don't eat people?" Roland asked. "... You still haven't found a cure for kuru? I mean... we did, and we're willing to share-"
"IT'S BECAUSE EATING PEOPLE IS MORALLY WRONG!" Corrin pointed out. "I MEAN, WOULD YOU EAT YOUR OWN MOTHER?!"
"Wish I could..." Zenon grumbled in resentment of how the rest of his family treated him.
"I mean, Aunt Camilla allegedly ate her bitch of a stepmom before she married into the fam," Vanica pointed out. "And I'm pretty sure Uncle Vlad whenever he ate his lunch in a garden full of impaled people, some blood might've gotten into his wine. So really, I'm not shocked."
"I saw Nosferatu Zogratis and his cabal degrade into a cult of people-eaters during my tenure as a newbie Paladin, and since then, I've been a bit more open-minded," Rinaldo remarked, implying that whatever sense of normalcy he had was left dead and buried after he left Clover Kingdom.
"Oh, I remembered a guy named Varney force-feed me other prisoners in an attempt to break me," Roland remarked. "... I might've enjoyed the taste... which might've fucked up my brain."
"I'm made of unstable four basic elements held together by my own conciseness, so theoretically, I can consume any physical matter as long as it fits into my mouth," Brigid answered.
"I'm open to eating my own mother the moment I get my hands on her given how much of a bitch she is," Ogmios smirked.
"I don't remember my who my mom is," Aengus pointed out.
"I'm a talking pig, so nothing is off the table as I am to everyone else's," Moccus remarked. "I'm just grateful that I moved out of 'emergency food'-status within my group."
Corrin groans in pure disgust. "... Why did I bother asking," she sighed seething. "... Well, in Clover Kingdom, we don't believe in barbecuing our own like if they were chicken."
"Kind of a waste if you ask me," Ogmios remarked. "They do indeed taste like chicken."
"So why did you ally with us?" asked the elf. "... Do you see us as a food source?"
"We're not against it if you piss us off," Ogmios answered. "But boss ordered us specifically that we're not allowed to eat the locals until he says otherwise. And coming from him, the strongest of all seven of us, his orders are absolute."
"Of course the only sane one is a half-Demon..." Corrin groaned. "... So why did you join our side in the fight against Demons?"
Brigid and Ogmios look at each other before nodding in agreement. "... Mostly pity."
At the Other Clearing...
"I'm sorry, pity?!" Salim exclaimed.
"I mean look at ye," Cu pointed towards the [Lightning Magic] user. "Yer all a bunch of skin 'nd bones compared te me 'nd de rest of me boys. Not te mention, yer bookies are askin' to git caught on fire. Relics are more reliable, since dey can do just more than act as catalysts."
"So if you 'pity' us," Letoile continued as she kept her cool, "... then why haven't you invaded our lands when you had the chance?"
"Actually, there are two reasons," Makarov pointed out. "One being that Ulster's too disorganized to muster up an invading force. At best, all they can muster is a raiding party numbering up to a few hundred before dissolving shortly after sharing their loot. That, combined with their natural propensity to fight each other and everything else that comes close to them... it's not an exaggeration to say that the people of Ulster are beasts wearing human skin and clothes."
"'Nd I'm proud of it," Cu boasted. "Which is de other reason why we dun't fight ye guys. We see no benefit of eating weaklings like ye lot, so dere's dat. But, if one of us dies, den ye better eat us before de enemy can. Our bodies are practically mana-rich. De way ye guys are rite now, junk food."
"... I don't know if I should be offended or relieved at that fact," Dorothy commented. "I mean, we're not weak by any measures, but the so-called God [Leshy] using my [Dream Magic] to affect the status of souls? I can't even pull that shit off!"
"Wait, is said spell on your grimoire?" asked David.
"It is," the witch then revealed the page to everyone present. "... But I don't get what kind of language this is!"
"Neither do I," Mudo pointed out. "... That said, it has a passing resemblance to Fae scripture... but I don't have it with me to compare it."
Everyone groans before coming back to their prior topic to avoid hitting a roadblock.
"So... we're weak by your standards," Jericho remarked.
"I understand being raised in a land where peace is possible doesn't inspire our kind of growth, which is literally 'fight or die' ad nauseum," Bizon remarked. "When I heard that Clover Kingdom is a stable place like Heart Kingdom, the comparison to Avalon and the rest of the Spade Kingdom was day and night. We do nothing but fight for our lives here every single day for every reason imaginable. Avalon is searching for the next Demon not under the Demonology Department's watch to kill, Libratium and their experiments tend to kill more people by accidents rather than on purpose, and Ulsterians are too drunk on their own bloodlust or some random grog that they brew to even come up with a reason to explain why."
"Kind of like right now?" asked Letoile, to which Makarov and Cu Chulainn nod. "... Explains why you're all so calm, relatively speaking."
"Oi, yer not doing too bad yerself," Cu praised. "If anythin', I wish sum of me boyos had head cool as yer's. So while ye may be weak, yer strong in yer own way. Keep it up. Yer gonna be great, I can tell."
"Wow, one minute he's roasting us and in the next he's praising her," Salim grumbled.
"Only because yer a fop whose spells are longer den de epics I've heard from bards," snarked the wild man before facing Jericho and sniffing his hair. "... Ye smell like Artio."
"My mother goes by Rhodes now," glared the [Platinum Magic] user. "She had the sense to leave this hellhole. In fact, if fighting is proving to be counterproductive, then why not just move out?"
"Same reason why Ulster can't invade," Makarov pointed out. "... But I think that our residential Ulsterian can explain better than we could."
"Ye see, dere's sumthin' dat's... compelling us to stay 'ere and seek out fights," Cu spoke in a semi-foreboding tone. "Sumthin' like... a call from de wild, screaming at us to grow stronger and gain more power through de hardest and difficult way possible. Tellin' us to mold 'nd grow ourselves every day or we die. 'Nd it's not just me. An average Ulsterian has dose feelins' pushin' dem. Clover Kingdom ain't part of dat feeling'. Te us, ye guys... just exist, like air."
"There is some data supporting that fact," Mudo remarked. "Usually, when an Ulsterian comes, an Elderbeast is close by. Some academia theorized that it's simply the latter following the former similar to how predators stalk their prey, but recent data showed that the two's absurdly high mana signatures are resonating with each other, similar to an insect colony's method of pheromones acting as communication to the rest of a hive mind. And if an outsider is strong enough, then there have been enough evidence to prove that said outsider will become part of the 'resonance'."
"... Wait, hive mind?!" David exclaimed.
"Not exactly, but if ye want te know wat's weird for us..." Cu Chulainn began to explain, ".. is dat wen an Ulsterian loses 'is bloodlust and goes quiet 'nd meek. I suspect Artio and Dagda are de same, but I least I know dat de latta can still throw a punch to nearly send me te de great beyond."
Back at the First Group...
"... In fact, that's was the exact reason why we came along," Ogmios remarked. "Any objections of 'expanding our business' was met with a really hard punch that would normally kill an average Clover Kingdom resident. I myself went into a coma for a week." He then faced Patry/"Captain Licht" with a snide look. "Your number two with the [Spatial Magic] got off lucky only being paralyzed waist down. And before you ask, he shot at us after we explained ourselves."
"You do know that unauthorized border crossing without sending a prior notice is legally considered an invasion, right?" the Golden Dawn Captain (acting in place of [CENSORED]) remarked.
"Well, it's not like we'll get mad when you cross ours willy-nilly," Brigid remarked. "We'll probably get mad when you start telling us what do, but for us tavern folk, we're willing to listen within reasonable boundaries. As for the rest of the Ulsterians... tread carefully. Or give them your strongest booze."
"... Eh, yeah," Corrin nervously chuckled as she overheard Dagda's comment of Clover Kingdom's beers being about potent as regular drinking water to him. "... Is your boss's tolerance for booze normal or an outlier?"
"If you're implying that your alcohol content isn't enough to satisfy an Ulsterian after one shot, then I fear for our alliance's future," Ogmios pointed out. "... At least Avalon's willing to in charge of the tap of vodka to keep them satiated."
"Wait, what is vodka?" asked Patry/"Captain Licht".
"It's a root-based alcoholic drink with a 30% alcohol content," Brigid explained. "Taste-wise, you're better off drinking piss, but one sip is enough to turn a bloodthirsty Ulsterian into a malleable putty that might kill you by accident. Better than on purpose."
"That's literally describing a disinfectant," Zenon pointed out.
"Funnily enough, vodka wasn't meant to be a recreational drink," Ogmios explained. "In fact, it was multi-purpose. Makes a good disinfectant, cold medicine, cleaner, and a hot drink for colder days. Ulster discovered this by accident, and since then our killings of Avalonians dwindled as long as they kept giving us that good shit. Although sometimes, some of the more ballsy raiding parties try to intercept the good shit before anyone else. Results often varied. Like that one time where a [Lindwyrm] drank 900 barrels worth of booze and it went on a drunken rampage until it was taken care of."
"... You don't look like a drinker," Vanica commented. "Actually, I think you guys are more well-adjusted than you all like to admit."
"Coming from the likes of you, it makes me want to get amnesia again just to prove you wrong," the nude Paladin spat in disgust.
Corrin sighs. "... I can't tell what you guys are really thinking," she groaned in frustration. "... Are we doomed to just... not understand you people? Do you guys believe in like, anything outside of killing out of impulse?"
Brigid ponders before then lighting five small wisps of flame over her hand. "... Well, I think this would help serve as an example," the spirit then colors each flames in red, blue, green, white, and black each. "In Spade Kingdom, the collective belief is rooted in what we call the 'five colors'. Red represents passion and freedom, blue represent logic and knowledge, green represents nature and force, white represents law and community, and black represents ambition and individualism."
The red flame then floats with the green flame, forming a pair. "As sentients demands, no one holds fast to one color, so we're varying degrees of a spectrum," she continued to explain. "For example, Ulster's prominently red and green. Passion and freedom paired with nature's wrath and force. You know what that means, correct?"
"Yeah, that you guys are more akin to animals than people," Corrin remarked.
"Eh, it's that we're more closer to earth," Ogmios pointed out. "We don't delude ourselves in temporary lounging of the trappings of civilization and laws. We are born free and will die free. Anything that gets in the way of that will have to die. And like I stated prior, we're only helping you because we feel like it. So don't bother with contracts or any stipulations. Just point us towards something that's worth killing and we'll be happy."
"I myself am red, blue, and green," Brigid remarked. "I'm an Ulsterian at the core, but there's also the reason why I submit papers and textbooks to Libratium for some side dough."
"Libratium's red-blue, straight up," Rinaldo explained. "We're fervent researchers and pushers of knowledge. We're constantly curious and seek to push magic beyond its limits. If magic can do something, then we write up the theory, make it work, and move onto the next. Our brains are going faster than our own line of thoughts, and it's the rush to find something new that we can do with magic is what drives us."
"Like ADHD?" snarked Corrin.
"Eh, something like that," Roland shrugged. "... I myself am a quad-cross of red, blue, green, and black. Funnily enough, my amnesia makes me really receptive to new knowledge. The green and black I associate with because I just do what I want, go where I want, and have a tendency to go maverick when my bloodlust gets the better of me. In a way, my ADHD might be the destructive kind, but I'm trying my best to keep it under control."
"I'm starting to get this a bit more," the Golden Dawn Captain remarked. "... So that means Avalon's red-white in their gung-ho creed to slay every demonic-related form of evil they see, and given Vanica's... predisposition, I assume that the Zogratis is red-black?"
"Yep," nodded the girl. "We do what we want, when we want, how we want, consequences be damned. And every second that we were considered a necessity by the Grinberryall clan, it tickled a little. We have no regrets of the lives we've murdered or ruined."
Corrin then looked at the Paladins and the two Ulsterians. "... May I say 'pot calling kettle black'?!"
"Best part about being red, you don't need to explain yourself," Ogmios smiled. "Just punch the other guy you don't like and everything will sort itself out. Short, simple, and a whole lot of trouble behind legality and paperwork saved. I mean, Avalon kills any non-magical human they see, and sometimes we just come by to watch them die for fun. Settle everything with ultra-violence! That's our way."
"... That really doesn't sit right with me," Corrin remarked.
"Of course it doesn't," Brigid remarked as she then presented a blue and white flame pair. "From my observations of Clover Kingdom, they seem to be more inclined to be blue-white. You people value rationality and order above all else. A vital asset for a conventional organized society. Their strength is their group stability. Their weakness is their lack of flexibility and initiative. Corrin, it's not you're in the wrong nor the fact that we're inclined to violent tendencies to the point of self-sabotage. It's the complexities of being a living being and the stubbornness of dealing with people. The degree of responsibilities that we each have to take is long and complicated. We don't have to get along immediately, nor does our mutual understanding have to be concrete."
"... So agree to disagree?" Corrin pointed out.
"At least until we get out of here," Brigid confirmed. "Let me be the one to set the record straight. Despite our problems, everyone here is prioritizing survival and escape. I myself intend make sure everyone comes out alive. So at least, trust in me to remain focused, and I will trust you to do your utmost best to contribute to our survival."
Corrin nods reluctantly before finally relaxing herself. "... Fine."
Patry/"Captain Licht" lowers his guard before finally letting this unorthodox sense of peace take hold. ... So this is how it feels to meet people from the outside... I wonder if this feeling was the same feeling when I met humans for the first time, he thought, so [CENSORED], is this what it feels like to be in your shoes?
At the Thickets...
Heavy breathing heaved in tandem with sporadic footwork breaking into the earth and across the roots treading over them. Dimness that made up the surrounding ambiance of this abnormal (even by Ulster's standards) forest housed a small man burdening a weight of desperation that was bigger than his heart could handle.
"AENGUS! MOCCUS!" cried out Dagda, the sheathed [Fragarach] held in one hand, and a trail of broken [Treants] left in this man's wake. "CISSO! BRIGID! OGMIOS! DANU! NUNNO! LUGH! ANYONE!"
He has been awake for what it felt like several hours, or at least what the figments of his rational mind could interpret. What scared him the most is how he'd ended up here. There was a small "glitch" between what happened before ending up here (on the tavern top of the giant boar) and now, as if the sense of continuity was kicked in its conceptual nether regions after it was caught napping for a second.
He already knew, that it wasn't just him. Everyone else, from his tavern mates, to the Magic Knights, the Inquisitors and their Thaumaturges, Cu Chulainn, and the coffee chick, they were all in the same boat as him.
The worst part of this conundrum was that he himself was separated from everyone else, and he felt as if that this was by design.
"... Dat green bastard," the half-Demon growled as he radiated a dark aura that causes the earth around him to slightly tremble. "... One wasn't enough, ainnit? Now ye had to take all of us."
With the memory of a certain horned figured clad in moss-covered armor, Dagda continues to wade through the thickets of this alien greenery. He himself couldn't care less of this place literally trying to suck his soul out through madness that was brought upon by this endless haunt, for he was too focused on finding the others.
And being a half-Demon himself also helps, given that both their mental and physical resilience are at the peak by default.
"DAMMIT, WHERE DE FEK ARE YE?!" Dagda cried out, inadvertently drawing in more [Treants] and [Alurane] towards his position. "GET OUT OF DE FEKIN' WAY!"
The plant creatures all mobbed towards him, with Dagda sending them all flying back upon drawing his [Fragarach] towards them, it's lightning-quick slash shredding them into pieces all at once.
"Gotta keep it cool..." he heaved as he sheathed his Relic back in. "... Makin' thins' worse just by me bellyachin'... fek, I hate dis place."
Calming down once again, he then begins to use his senses to find the others. Breaking through the smell of pine and fruit whose quantity borders on nauseating, he tried to pick up a scent of skin and sweat through the semi-misty air.
"... Hit," his nostrils twitch upon picking up a scent of sweat coming from about a couple hundred meters away from him.
Dagda then takes off running towards where the smell was coming from and after breaking through the thickening mist and suffocating vegetation until finding a silhouette slumped against a trunk of a tree. Upon closer inspection, the man is revealed to be a emaciated man with a moustache and wearing nothing but olive-green pants with a pair of suspenders slung over his shoulders.
"... Shite. LUGH!" Dagda ran up towards him before checking his pulse. "... Yer alive... thank de fekin' gods yer alright."
He then takes the thin man onto his back before taking off his shirt and converting it to a back saddle for his compatriot. Nomrally, Lugh was a giant of a man with glistening muscles and a strength that rivals Fergus's. But due to the lack of sunlight in this place that they're in, the prolonged absence has drained the man to a husk of his former self. Thankfully, said condition tied to his magic doesn't kill him (but more often puts him in a "sleep" mode), but the fact that he's rendered helpless in Ulster of all places is enough of a reason for concern.
"Hang on pal, I'm with ye..." Dagda tried not to lose himself to tears over the relief of finding his friend after a long time. "... I won't let ye die-"
"Oh brilliant."
A malignant presence was felt behind Dagda, as he turned to find a Demon with a lioness's features standing behind him. Her topaz eyes looking dispassionately at him and Lugh, measuring them up to see if she can quantify them to a certain amount of value. What stood out the most was something bundled around her back, not too dissimilar from Dagda carrying Lugh, the only difference being that the Demon's passenger was otherworldly and alien in appearance, but its presence being completely unnoticed save for the Demoness herself.
"... Ishtar?!" the half-Demon growled.
"... Hm. Asmodeus's spawn," spoke the black lioness as she adjusted her glasses. "Normally, I'd say 'My how much you've grown,' but that's besides the point-"
Dagna moves into Ishtar's face full-view so fast that he'd practically teleported, with his [Fragarach] instantly drawn from its sheath and its short blade caught between the lioness Demon's clawed fingers.
"I'll kill ye, I'LL KILL YER ARSE, YE FEKIN' CUNT!" the half-Demon snarled as he ground his Relic deeper towards her desperately, his voice foaming with a primordial rage akin to that of Ishtar's superior, Satan.
She wasn't even remotely fazed at the murderous intent flooding towards her like the great deluge that destroyed the era that came before the Golden Age of Magic, mentally citing the Dragon Demon's Sin of [Wrath] to be infinitely more terrible than whatever this mistake of her horny co-worker can produce as a hobby can muster. "... Straight to business. I can respect that."
Ishtar then breaks off the engagement by flicking the sword and Dagda off like a booger, his innate [Counter Magic] nulled due to Ishtar's [Gauge Magic] weakening the former to the point of irrelevance.
"HOW DE FEK DID YE GET HERE?!" Dagda snarled as he brandished his short sword menacingly.
"Curiously, I was at the Heart Kingdom before I've inadvertently wandered into this place," the Demoness remarked as she looked around her surroundings. "... Strange. My senses should've kept count how many miles that I've traveled... but I seem to be drawing a blank, which never happens... ugh, there goes my meticulously drafted spread sheet that I've mentally penned since I got here..."
Dagda roars as he then brought down his [Fragarach] unto the dispassionate Demon like a predator pouncing upon its prey. Ishtar uses her own [Gauge Magic] to raise her own defensive values thousandfold, rendering Dagda's attack to be about effective as a dandelion fluff scratching against a brick wall.
"... There's no value in this conflict," glared Ishtar as her forearm wasn't even bleeding when the Relic tried to burrow itself into her flesh. "Only suicidal idiots make the folly of attacking me."
"SHUT UP! SHUT DE FEK UP YE CUNT!" Dagda screeched like a feral animal, now blinded by rage of seeing a Demon within the ranks of his loathed father.
"... If you insist, then I'll throw some money towards you as compensation for emotional damages," the lioness Demon then points her free hand directly towards Dagda's face before presenting a single unit of freshly-minted yul before him. "[Gauge Magic: One Hundred Billion Yul Bazooka]."
The single coin then floods entirety of the thickets then immediately turn into a sea of billions upon billions of bright-gold bullions, with Dagda and Lugh swept away in a tidal wave of the world's source of avarice.
To Be Continued...
Author's Notes: I got my mojo back. Writer's block officially over. I think.
By all means, this chapter's a filler intermission. On one hand, I had to end the [Leshy] fight in a clean of a manner as possible while coupling Cissonius and Makarov's groups together at the same time. Making the plan was the easy part. Following through was the hard part. End result, not in the way I initially planned, but close enough. Still though, there was a lot more writing then I initially thought, and that was after my third revision of this damn chapter.
On the other hand, the least fun part to write was Corrin's snapping moment. I was practically straddling the fine line between "Once More, But With Clarity" (regarding the batshit insane nature of Ulster) and "Author Tract" (I watched a piece about Medieval Ireland and Iceland that influenced the initial course of the writing regarding Ulster's behavior), and honestly, I don't think it was profound as I like to be.
Simply put, Ulster (and to a lesser extent, the rest of the Spade Kingdom's population) kinda represents the worst aspects of MtG's red color; no foresight and moral myopia revolving around their own impulses. It's folly to call them out as hypocrites since they have little to no self-awareness of their actions beyond fulfilling their impulses, so the best way to deal with them is to appeal them through violence or get them drunk enough to make them semi-agreeable. And personally, part of the reason why I'm semi-biased to Ulster (and the rest of the Spade Kingdom in my iteration) is the fact that playing Gruul is fun.
Clover Kingdom being the Azorius Senate-parallel is my own tract of the MtG TCG being a bunch of fun-haters (slows down the game through enforcing play restrictions), and the fact that the AS is the closest thing to modern society: where much is done to ensure that nothing is ever accomplished. Paternalistic governments have their pros (the general stability means that the population doesn't have to live in fear) and cons (the people in power can pull out all sorts of legal bullshit to ruin anyone that slights them). And to be fair, I kinda see Clover Kingdom as Renaissance Italy, but while brilliant minds are blossoming, there is still a well-entrenched nobility that are complete foils to Ulster's population and vise-versa.
Make of that what you will. Because I'm bad with my wording.
As for Dagda VS Ishtar... well the presence of the latter is an indication that the forest itself is spreading out fast. And the fact that [Gauge Magic] can rig anything that can be confirmed with a quantified value. Ishtar's Rank #4 in Hell's hierarchy for a good reason.
References:
- Cissonius's nonconsensual [Super Compound Magic: Replica Armament, Airgetlám] is named after Nuada Airgetlám, the king of Tuatha Dé Danann, whose surname/epithet means "silver hand/arm" in Gaelic. The mention of Cissonius stealing the [Patent] from a Knight of the Round Table is a reference to Fate/Grand Order's Bedivere, who in the lore is the owner of the Noble Phantasm of the same name.
- Makarov's [Belobog, the Radiant] is named after the other half of the Slavic God of Darkness's other half, Belobog, whose name means "white god." It's title, "The Radiant," is a reference to the French manga series of similar name, where Makarov (and the entirety of the Order of the Spade Cross) is based off of. It's appearance of being a regular sword with a variable-length chain is based of the zanpakuto [Hyōrinmaru] from Bleach, specifically Sojiro Kusaka's variation from the Diamond Dust Rebellion movie, where he uses the chain segment of the weapon more liberally (in comparison).
- David's act of throwing a large number of [Gambler's Fallacy] dice spells is based off the meme "Random Bullshit Go!" originating from Moon Knight (West Coast Avengers comic run).
- Corrin's freak out is based off Flint's grief-induced rage scene after Hinawa's death and Claus's disappearance in Mother 3, the difference being that the blow to the back of the head doesn't knock her out cold.
- Cu's mother being a [Garou] is a reference to Cu's nickname being "Culann's Hound" after killing the man's dog, while the [Garou] is the archaic/Old French name for werewolves.
- The other named members of the Zogratis Clan are named after famous vampires that paint the modern perception of what vampires are (Camilla, the baroness sexpot, Vlad the Impaler, aka Dracula; Nosferatu, the Romanian Vampire made famous through the Count Orlok; and Varney the Vampire, the OG Vampire that was written before Dracula and Camilla).
- Corrin's resignation after the debate of cannibalism is based off of the exchange between Black Dynamite and Mr. T from Black Dynamite episode "Apocalypse This!' or 'For the Pity of Fools' AKA 'Flashbacks Are Forever".
- Ulster's hypothesized "resonance"/"call of the wild" is partially inspired by the Phoners' psionic powers from Stephen King's novel, "Cell."
- The "five colors" are based off Magic the Gathering Trading Card Game, with Ulster being based off the Gruul Clans, Libratium being based off the Izzet League, Avalon being based off the Boros Legion, the Zogratis Clan being based off the Rakdos Cult, and Clover Kingdom being compared to the Azorius Senate.
- Ishtar's [One Hundred Billion Yul Bazooka] is based off Halekulani's [Super Fist of Gorgeousness: 100 Billion Dollar Bazooka] from Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo.
And as usual, please leave a comment or a review, for I'd love to know what my readers think!