It's a few days after my encounter with Victoria and I'm humming to myself as I peel potatoes for the shepherd's pie I'm making. And my new phone that Lisa forced on me to buy dings. So I put the peeler and potatoes in my hands down, and do a quick wipe with a dishcloth as I check what Lisa or a scam messenger sent me. As Lisa is the only one with my number.
Lisa Wilbourn- Lung trying to kill us, help please
What? No seriously what? This is way too soon. This is the canon start. Then I feel a chill travel through me. It's February 18th. The Undersiders were supposed to rob the Ruby Dreams in early March. They did it too early.
For a moment I think about leaving them, not something I'm very proud of but surely the protagonist would save them? No, Taylor hasn't finished her costume, she would never have gone patrolling tonight for some fucking reason. I have no idea what would happen if Taylor doesn't show up, but this is used more often than not to kill or horribly injure the Undersiders in those fics.
Now, I don't care about my dying. But If Lisa died my dog would be upset. And that's a problem. And me, to a lesser degree I suppose I can admit I've grown attached to the waifu despite my protests.
Rory McGrath- Where is lung
And after the following message with a location, I start running. In times like this I'm glad I can't get exhausted.
...
Big mob of Asian guys, check.
Not in China, check.
Huge Asian guy in a metal mask giving a speech to the large group of Asians? Check.
"Hey, Kenta I heard you had a small dick!" Is the first thing that comes to mind, my shout carries rather far in the night, and the big man goes silent. Good, I've never really liked public speeches. "So hear me out Kenta, were you aware that contrary to their size, gorillas have extremely small dicks. Am I calling you a monkey? No, I'm calling you an ape."
"Who do you think you are?" He asks with a deep growl, visibly growing. Wait, why is he already getting bigger? Fuck it, my mouth already went off, might as well keep going.
"I think I'm the guy saying your dick small. And your mask looks dumb. And that I should have brought a fedora." I'd say something about Leviathan but that'd be shooting myself too. Then he swings much faster than a man his size should be able to, his arms already shimmering in the light of the fire surrounding us. And I feel pain, as I'm launched straight into a building off to the side. First, fucking ow. Second, also fucking ow.
"Foolish worm." I hear him scoff. Then he stills when his enhanced senses pick up the fact I just stood back up I presume. Ah fuck, I can't keep talking my mouth is sealed, damn, there goes the Yangban joke I had ready. There are cracks, large and small in many places from where his scales punctured through my marble flesh. I would normally try my best to suppress it. Suppressing it was never part of my plan for tonight.
Globs of black liquid drip to the floor with each step I take back toward the dragon man who hasn't grown much bigger. Drip, drip, drip, one after the other. The flames around us lick at my skin and the gang bangers he had with him are backing up as they watch our confrontation warily.
Spoiler:super cringey edge pic of mc rn
"That was your last mistake." He growls, the words still mostly clear, but he's reaching the mouth-changing stage. As I remain mute for now, I just lift my hand and flip him the bird. With a growl of rage he swings a clawed hand at me again, and this time I raise my arm to block it. My arm does indeed not block it, and I'm flooded with pain as he shreds the limb with his claws. My turn.
Something that was just begging for release, pushing up against the inside of my stoney flesh until an opening was made. A tentacle, blacker than the night and thicker than the arm it came out of wraps around Lung's arm, he lets out a grunt of pain as the sucker ring teeth (Man I sure love the Discovery Channel cause that sounds so wrong but is so right.) bite into the still fleshy part of his arm. The tentacle drips a generous amount of the black toxin, and it sizzles as the heat ramps up and Lung gets truly pissed off.
With a roar of animalistic rage, he tries to rip it off, and he does. The tentacle goes limp as he rips it in half. I tilt my head at him with a nod of acknowledgement. Good job Kenta-Chan! You did good! Who's a good boy? Alright, he's about to attack me again. I'll stop holding back.
With a small movement from me, a new tentacle shoots out of the gaping wound of the last. This is getting out of hand! Now there are two new ones! And they both wrap around Kenta and start sizzling from the heated metal coating his body. I'm just glad my feeling for the tentacles is very very numbed.
That doesn't matter as I feel a bullet punch through my shoulder and I barely manage to keep myself standing. The pain is immense. I've been shot at a few times but mostly in full seafood mode. I've only ever gone full seafood once… Doesn't matter now, I can live with pain. And I don't bother stopping the tentacle that lashes out at the man with a gun and sends him flying with the force of the blow. I had a fun idea for this fight. I'm just going to stand still and eventually win. Lung fell to Taylor's bugs toxins. My toxin's better than anything her bugs could throw at him
With more roars of both fire and rage, the dark pitch black tentacles are ripped off once again, leaving gaping wounds from where the sucker ring teeth (Something I'll never think sound's right in any context.), dug into his heavily tattooed skin. Man, I want a tattoo, why the hell do his regenerate? That's some fucking bullshit! I'm not jealous at all fuck this guy. Know what two plus two is Kenta? It's five, bitch! Wait no, that's the tentacle from my shoulder joining the four that just spawned from the last two. The Asian guys are all scrambling and most are running, wheres the fucking brand loyalty here guys?
"You bastard!" Lung screams in barely fully coherent English? Fanon had rotted my brain huh. Still, this is honestly kind of funny. He's all 'Garrr I'm big rage dragon man fear me!' And I'm just vibing. I thought he would be able to put up more of a fight, but the toxin is eating away at him, and he only causes more and more to soak his body as he rips and tears tentacles that just surge over him in greater numbers each and every time he manages to rip one.
And finally, his flailing stops, and he goes limp in my multi-faceted grasp. I have more tentacles than I feel like bother coun- nineteen, it's nineteen my power suddenly informs me. This was… Underwhelming. In my mind, I expected a big fight. Prepared for it on the way here. And I actually find myself feeling disappointed at how quickly it was over. I let Lung collapse to the ground, unconscious with his own puke and mucus covering his face.
If it wasn't to help Lisa this would have been a waste of my time. I just shake my head and turn towards the cautiously approaching armoured man around the same height if not an inch taller than me. I blame his boots. "Hey Armsy, how tall are you?" My mouth has been good for a little, but I've had nothing to really say. Wasn't really in the mood to talk for a bit.
"You aren't going to fight me?" He asks warily, I try making him flinch by flexing my arm that has a huge mass of tentacles trailing from it that flex with said arm. He doesn't, damn.
"No, this is Lung. He's yours. And his dick won't rot off this time." I nudge Lung closer to Collin who has his halberd still pointed at me. "Do you have anything lethal in that? Can you hit a brother up?"
"You want a lethal chemical to use against someone?"
"Yes, myself." He just stays still, looking at me as his lie detector experiment goes over what I said. Of course Colin, I have all the time in the world.
"You… are serious." He states with an honestly baffled mouth expression. I think he's baffled. I'm getting a bit impatient here however so I just shake my head and start walking.
"Wait. The Ward's coul-"
"I'm an adult, and I'd rather not join up with anyone but thanks." I'm actually kind of surprised he didn't just try arresting me. Fanon really has rotted the brain.
"Your name?" I almost answer then realize he meant a cape name. I thought of one a bit ago after finding how my power worked. On the other hand, I didn't come here with a mask on so I expect my everyday life to come to a sad but pitiful end. Wait, I'm rich, I can get a lawyer if they try anything. Fuck it, cape name for now sure.
"Gloom, like Gloon but with an m. You know who Gloon is?" I ask and he doesn't respond right away.
"Lovecraft? Gloon, the Corrupter of Flesh? Are you sure you are not a villain?" Oi, you bastard. I thrust my arm to the side and the tentacles surge back into it, the marble white slowly growing over the black cracks again. I notice Armsy has gone full hand on halberd tense again.
"Gloom. It sounds cool, and it's a reference. I don't really care much past that." I say with a shrug, and at his lack of a response I just leave. I did what I came here to do. And I didn't even get to have dinner first.
Now I need a drink.
...
Lisa just sent a thanks over text and hasn't shown up yet well into the next day. It's fine. I just named the dog without her. A very creative name. Big Boy. Now I can call him in the Kratos voice.
I'm a bit annoyed that she didn't give me the Taylor treatment and introduce her team, but on the other hand I know she's just being respectful of me not wanting to be a cape so I have no reason to actually be annoyed.
Still leaves me alone on a Saturday to give the dog head-pats as I go through a whole pack of cigarettes. The smokey scent's gonna annoy Lisa and my petty vengeance will be glorious!
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. Who the fuck knocks on my door? Gotta be the coppers. With a sigh of ever suffering and frustration, I get up off the love-seat and tie my fluffy green bathrobe shut tight. Then, and only then do I open the door. Oh, it's Victoria.
"I don't want any cookies, go away." I try slamming the door shut and she catches it. I keep pushing but it doesn't budge. Damn shield, I'll sue! I swear I will if you break my door Vicky.
"I'm here for my therapy!" She beams at me.
"Suck a cock, preferably mine." Not gonna work, but now it amuses me that it doesn't.
"Let me in first and I might." Wait, now she's flirting back. No, that isn't allowed. I might have to actually teach her not to do this shit. With a sigh of grievance, I stop trying to slam the door on her hand. "Thank you! So how do we do this whole therapy thing?" She cheerfully asks as she floats into the house. Big Boy growls that she isn't Lisa again.
"Boy." I say in my best attempt. Not quite good, not horrible either. Vicky just looks at me weirdly, but Boy looks happy at the attention.
"Borf!" He wags his tail and trots over to me for pets. Why yes, good sir, you deserve all the pats.
"You're good with animals huh?" Vicky has a stupid looking grin on her face.
"I'm not petting you." I deadpan her as I continue petting my dog.
"I never aske- Just get on with the psychology thing." She flies over to the big armchair and collapses into it in a similar manner Lisa did when I met her the first time.
"Sure. The psychology thing." I shake my head and grab myself a glass of water. Fine. I agreed to this.
Might as well see it through.
...
A familiar scene for me…
"Mr. McGrath?" I look up at the classic pencil pusher in a pinstripe suit and glasses. He brushes his dark hair behind his ear as to stave off the ever present dampness in the air.
"And who the fuck are you supposed to be?" I ask him. He doesn't look like any of the other refugees. Too well dressed. Could someone know it was me? I doubt it. The fact he's asking for me by name still doesn't do anything to put me at ease.
"Phillip Norman, I'm an estate manager for the late Sean Kenneth McGrath." He offers me a hand and I wearily take it.
"Same last name, no idea who that is."
"Well you're in luck, He was your uncle and per his will I have an offer for you." He looks at the state of the camp. "Said offer will see you nice and cozy in your own bed and home I should add."
"That's all I needed to hear." If he fucked me over I wouldn't even care at this point. Not like I have anything to my name in this life. Leviathan made sure of that.
"Well we can talk more on the jet, I'm sure you want to get out of here." He tells me. At his words, I take a look at the dour refugee camp. Leviathan survivors, if I was a better person I would try and help. Then I take a look at the ruins and remains of the island I called home in the distance. And with that I accept I'm not a good person. I'm just a person.
"Yeah, yeah let's get out of here."